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cover of episode Dating on Purpose with Damona Hoffman

Dating on Purpose with Damona Hoffman

2024/10/29
logo of podcast You Probably Think This Story’s About You

You Probably Think This Story’s About You

AI Deep Dive AI Insights AI Chapters Transcript
People
B
Brittani Ard
D
Damona Hoffman
Topics
Brittani Ard: 本期节目探讨了约会应用的利弊,以及如何有效利用约会应用找到合适的伴侣。她认为,过去人们寻找伴侣的方式需要付出更多努力,而约会应用扩展了人们的约会范围,提供了更多可能性。然而,约会应用也带来了一些负面影响,例如人们对当今约会感到幻灭,以及缺乏投入和人际互动的问题。她认为,问题的关键不在于约会应用本身,而在于人们的行为方式和缺乏共情能力。 她还分享了自己使用约会应用的经验,以及如何通过优化个人资料和筛选匹配对象来提高约会效率。她认为,应该有意识地选择伴侣,而非完全依赖运气。大多数人都尽力而为,即使他们的行为方式可能存在问题,这往往源于他们内心的伤痛和对连接的渴望。 最后,她强调了在人际关系中学习和成长的重要性,以及改变思维模式的重要性。关系的结束不代表失败,重要的是从中吸取教训,并不断学习和成长。 Damona Hoffman: 作为约会指导专家,Damona Hoffman 分享了她对约会应用的看法以及如何有效利用约会应用来找到理想伴侣的技巧。她认为约会应用扩展了人们的连接可能性,不应该被妖魔化。人们对当今约会的幻灭感主要源于糟糕的人际行为,而非约会应用本身。她建议用户应该明确自己的目标,并通过优化个人资料来吸引理想对象,排斥不合适的对象。 她详细解释了如何利用关键词搜索来影响约会应用的算法,并建议用户从大量的匹配对象中进行筛选,以提高匹配质量。她还强调了个人资料照片和内容应该与理想伴侣的期望相符,并分享了如何通过改变个人资料来提高匹配质量的案例。 此外,她还谈到了旅行和多元文化背景对世界观的影响,以及人们对爱的追求是普遍的。她认为,选择伴侣是人生中最重要的决定之一,不应该完全依赖运气,而应该有意识地选择。最后,她分享了自己对快乐和喜悦的理解,以及如何通过改变思维模式来应对生活中的挑战,并保持积极乐观的心态。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why do people often feel that dating was easier before dating apps?

People remember the past with nostalgia, but in reality, dating required more upfront investment, such as going to parties, bars, or church. Dating apps have expanded people's dating pools and possibilities for connection.

Why does Damona Hoffman think the swipe functionality of dating apps is problematic?

The swipe functionality contributes to a lack of engagement and less information about potential matches. It prioritizes ease of use over depth and customization, making it harder to find quality matches.

Why did Damona Hoffman's client see an improvement in the quality of her matches after changing her profile?

By changing her profile photos and eliminating elements that didn't align with her true self, she attracted fewer but higher-quality matches. This led to more meaningful connections and successful dates.

Why does Damona Hoffman believe that people from different backgrounds can still find common ground?

Despite surface-level differences, people share fundamental desires for connection and love. Online dating and social media expand our worlds, allowing us to connect with those who may seem different but are often more alike than we think.

Why is it important to be intentional in choosing a partner?

Choosing a partner affects every aspect of life, including family, career, and health. Intentionality in dating can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

Why does Damona Hoffman believe that most people are doing their best?

Believing that people are doing their best enables her to move through the world with empathy, despite inequality and pain. It helps her understand that people's actions often stem from their life experiences and lack of skills or tools.

Why is it important to be uncomfortable in the dating process?

Discomfort is a sign of change. Stepping out of comfort zones helps break patterns and learn what one truly wants in a relationship. It's a necessary step for personal growth and finding better matches.

Why does Damona Hoffman differentiate between joy and happiness?

Joy is a deeper, more consistent feeling that can coexist with difficult moments, while happiness is often fleeting and dependent on external circumstances. Focusing on joy helps maintain a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Why is it important to accept impermanence in life?

Life is constantly changing, and accepting impermanence helps manage expectations and find value in each moment. It allows for a more grounded and realistic approach to life's ups and downs.

Why does Damona Hoffman think it's crucial to develop communication standards for texting?

Without standard etiquette for texting, miscommunication is common. Developing a code of conduct for digital communication can improve understanding and reduce conflicts in personal and professional relationships.

Chapters
Damona Hoffman discusses the pros and cons of dating apps, offering tips for optimizing profiles and utilizing features to enhance the quality of matches. She emphasizes aligning online presence with personal preferences and focusing on authenticity to attract compatible partners.
  • Dating apps have expanded dating pools and possibilities for connection.
  • Using the desktop version of dating apps can unlock additional features and search options.
  • The swipe functionality can contribute to a lack of engagement and a focus on superficial criteria.
  • Optimizing your dating profile to repel incompatible matches can improve the quality of connections.
  • Focusing on keywords and specific search criteria can be more effective than relying solely on algorithms.

Shownotes Transcript

Brittani is diving into your Season 1 questions with experts specializing in dating, scams, deception, and the legal consequences of manipulation.

In part 2 of this interview Damona Hoffman shares valuable dating tips, focusing on how to effectively use the algorithm to align your dating experience with your personal preferences. She provides insights on what changes to make in your dating profile to attract the type of partner you’re looking for, focusing on authenticity and getting quality matches.

Damona and Brit engage in a thoughtful discussion of expanding your worldview, finding joy, and fostering meaningful connections in today’s fast-paced environment.

Listen to Damona Hoffman’s podcast, The Dates and Mates Podcast)*, *and check out her book, F the Fairytale).

All episodes are available ad free on Pateron: https://patreon.com/BrittaniArd)

Season 2 of You Probably Think This Story’s About You is about YOU. Share your story with Brittani).

Sponsor information at https://brittaniard.com/sponsors


 *Some names and details have been changed to conceal the identities of those who wish to remain anonymous. 

 

*Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or Text 988 *

https://www.988lifeline.org)

*Childhelp Call or Text 800.422.4453 *

https://www.childhelphotline.org/)

National Drug Helpline call 844.289.0879

https://www.drughelpline.org/)

*National Domestic Violence Hotline *

www.thehotline.com)

*HelpGuide *

Narcissist Abuse Resource

https://www.helpguide.org/)

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