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Hello everybody! Wow! Welcome to Love It or Leave It at the Bourbon Room. Never been here before, that's exciting. Different arrangement of people, different shape. Still can bring the energy down all the way to zero. The challenge of bringing it back up. On the show tonight, Kumail Nanjiani goes all in on nerding out.

Zachary Quinto stops spying, the prognosis is gay as hell. Jane Fonda is here. And then Louis Vertel will appear once we say Jane's name three times. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Kamala Harris and Donald Trump met for the first time at their presidential debate on Tuesday night, with Harris offering her hand for a handshake after the two walked out and Trump accepted. That must have been a tough call for Kamala. On the one hand, it's a power move, bitch.

On the other hand, you know it's gotta feel like having your fingers swallowed up by an uncooked chick and it's not important but like as part of the handshake strategy you think you want to do something like a little weird with your hand? You know that thing where somebody like scratches the inside of your hand with a handshake? You feel weird after? What's he gonna do, talk about it? In an early exchange on abortion, Trump elicited this fact check from ABC moderator Lindsay Davis. There is no state in this country where it is legal to kill a baby after it's born.

Not even if it's baby Hitler. Trump shot back, winning the debate instantly. Harris turned to Trump and addressed him directly during an impassioned defense of abortion rights. You want to talk about this is what people wanted?

Pregnant women who want to carry a pregnancy to term, suffering from a miscarriage, being denied care in an emergency room because the health care providers are afraid they might go to jail, and she's bleeding out in a car in the parking lot? She didn't want that? Her husband didn't want that? It is such a relief to see a Democratic candidate make this argument with the force and feeling it deserves right in Trump's unique face.

This must be how casting directors feel when it's 10 hours of auditions for a period film. No one's been able to say the lines because their blindingly white veneers are too big. You haven't seen one person with buccal fat and then just when you're losing hope, Olivia Colman walks in. Trump also repeatedly refused to say that he would veto a national abortion ban if it came to his desk.

Because he would sign it. And he's going to try to ban abortion nationally by executive order if he can get away with it. Yes, Trump is saying he may order a side salad. But he's not saying he won't eat fries because he knows damn well that the plan is fries for the table.

Starting about half an hour in, Harris began baiting Trump relentlessly. And I'm going to actually do something really unusual, and I'm going to invite you to attend one of Donald Trump's rallies, because it's a really interesting thing to watch. He talks about fictional characters like Hannibal Lecter. He will talk about windmills cause cancer. And what you will also notice is that people start leaving his rallies early out of exhaustion and boredom.

And I will tell you, the one thing you will not hear him talk about is you. Yeah, applaud that. Sure. Now, Trump, prepped by his team of elite advisers to be happy Trump and focus on policy, refused to take the bait. Instead, he pivoted to his prepared hit to tie Kamala Harris to Joe Biden and Americans' concerns about the border. Please let me respond as to the rallies. Thanks.

It's crazy that Kamala got under his skin so easily when a bullet bounced right off of him. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What do you think? Leave it in? It's okay. All right.

Your ear looks fantastic. In that same answer, Trump then went fully off the rails, repeating the lie about Haitian immigrants abducting and eating pets.

Our country is being lost. We're a failing nation. And look at what's happening to the towns all over the United States. And a lot of towns don't want to talk. It's not going to be Aurora or Springfield. A lot of towns don't want to talk about it because they're so embarrassed by it. In Springfield, they're eating the dogs, the people that came in. They're eating the cats. They're eating the pets of the people that live there.

The bard at his best. A fantastic, I believe, trochaic diameter. I don't know. That's what it is. Might be anapest. I don't remember what anapest is. I feel so bad for low information voters who tuned into this debate to try to figure out what's going on. It's like turning on a random season of Selling Sunset and going, I'm sure I can catch up. No. You don't even know which bald twin Chrishell dated before that Australian turned her gay.

Here's how Trump reacted to a fact check of that lie. I just want to clarify here, you bring up Springfield, Ohio, and ABC News did reach out to the city manager there. He told us there had been no credible reports of specific claims of pets being harmed, injured or abused by individuals within the immigrant community. Well, I've seen people on television. Let me just say. Continue Trump, why I'm on television saying it right now. There's one aspect of this. It's not the most important part.

But Trump says twice that cities are embarrassed, they don't want to admit what's taking place. And in response to Muir, Trump says, "Well, sure, of course the city manager is gonna say that." And I do think that it's worth pointing out that what's going on here, which is Trump's position is that city officials are dealing with an uptick of local pets being eaten by out-of-towners, but don't want to talk about it because I guess it's bad for tourism.

Both the mayor of Springfield and Ohio governor and Republican Mike DeWine confirmed this week that there is no credible evidence of Haitian immigrants eating people's pets. Said DeWine, this is something that came up on the internet and the internet can be quite crazy sometimes. Yeah, first that dress was two different colors and now this. Crazy. But back to the debate. After Trump lied about having had nothing to do with January 6th and continued to insist that he won the 2020 election, Harris hit him with this line.

Donald Trump was fired by 81 million people. So let's be clear about that. And clearly he's having a very difficult time processing that. Okay, that's sort of unfair to Trump because of course it's hard to process it. Most of his processing power is being spent stopping himself from saying the N-word and the C-word during this debate. When pressed on whether he had a plan to replace Obamacare, Trump said this. Yes or no, you still do not have a plan. I have concepts of a plan. I do want to point out

In 2015, Trump said he would, quote, replace Obamacare with something terrific. During the presidential transition, before he took office, he said Obamacare replacement was very much formulated down to the final strokes. Then, in 2019, as Axios points out, he promises Obamacare replacement would come after the 2020 election, quote,

If we win the House back, keep the Senate, and keep the presidency, we'll have a plan that blows away Obamacare. He even went so far as to say, "We're signing a healthcare plan within two weeks." A full and complete healthcare plan. Donald Trump makes George R.R. Martin look like Stephen King. It has been almost a decade since Trump said his Obamacare replacement was formulated down to the final strokes. Talking about writing something for a decade instead of actually writing it? Most relatable Trump has ever been.

But that's just who Trump is, a perfectionist. And then, in a moment of frustration, Trump blurted out this gem. Now she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison. It's tough for Trump that by the time he said this, he was so sputtering and angry and manic that he sounded nuts, when this is like not an unfair rendering of a very reasonable position, which is people held in federal custody should have access to necessary medical care as prescribed by the doctors and nurses providing that care.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's just in. Shut up, John. Just let him sound nuts. That's crazy. Am I right? If Kamala's victory wasn't clear from the strange lightness in all of our chests, take it from the voters. In a CNN snap poll of debate watchers, 63% thought Harris won and 37% thought Trump won. Now it's time to sit back, relax, and wait to see if undecided voters think it's off-putting when a woman wins the debate. Something about that I don't like.

Even Fox News' Brit Hume had to hand it to her. She was composed. She was prepared. She kept her cool. She saw advantages. She took them. She debated them successfully, which is the story of the debate, in my view. So she came out ahead in this, in my opinion, no doubt. Brit Hume, yeah, sure. Democrats in North Carolina are applauding Dick Cheney. We're applauding Brit Hume. It's okay. It's okay. Brit Hume is one compliment away from saying she was a pleasure to have in class.

On Wednesday, Trump called it to Fox & Friends to whine about the moderators. I think we did great. It was three to one. It was a rigged deal, as I assumed it would be, because when you looked at the fact that they were correcting everything and not correcting with her. It's so unfair. I was throwing food and silverware at the waiter, and other people were also present at the restaurant. And yet only I was asked to leave.

The work in the refs, like, the moderators are to blame. It's absolutely killing me. Like, obviously, there's the, he's lying the whole time, so they're going to fact-check him more than they fact-check her. Even the way they had to fact-check her after to make it seem like it's fair was ridiculous because the fact-checks of Kamala Harris are like, well, technically, that's not a combat zone. But the fact-checks of Donald Trump are like, actually, they're not eating dogs in the Midwest. But even if you put that aside, like,

Kamala was so good in that debate that she made dodging hard questions of which she got several look easy. She didn't take the bait. She turned them on Donald Trump. That answer where she talks about how people are walking out of his rallies because they're bored, that question was about immigration, one of the toughest questions she got in the whole debate, but she immediately figured out how to set a little trap for Trump. But it wasn't even like a well-built trap. It was a hole in the ground that just said, hey, Trump, there's McDonald's down there. It's like...

This is not my fault. I'm down here because of unfairness. And there's no McDonald's. Following the debate on Tuesday night, as if we weren't having enough fun, Taylor Swift came out in support of Kamala Harris. We got Taylor Swift. We got Dick Cheney. All we need is some YouTuber I've never heard of who reviews public bathrooms for tens of millions of viewers and we just might win this thing.

In her Instagram post, the singer said she was moved to clarify her stance after Donald Trump reposted an AI endorsement claiming Swift was backing him, which is a reminder we need an AI image where Taylor claims she would never go on Love It or Leave It. Let's get that out there. I'm Taylor Swift and I would never go on that gay podcast.

Taylor said of Harris, "I think she is steady-handed, gifted. I believe we can accomplish so much more in this country if we are led by calm and not chaos." You know what I appreciate about Taylor Swift? If she's gonna endorse, she's gonna do the research into the most effective message. Calm over chaos? She does the work. She's Pete Buttigieg in a leotard, and I mean that as a compliment in both directions. The singer ended her endorsement with a sign-off with Love & Taylor Swift, "Childless Cat Lady."

"That proves it, she's pregnant and it's Carly," said a pansexual Swifty with bloodshot eyes in front of her six computer monitors. And in case you didn't wake up to find your skin crawling across the room, Elon Musk also weighed in on the Taylor Swift endorsement, I know. How many of you are oohing because you're afraid of what it is? And how many of you are oohing because you know what it is? What's wrong with us?

That makes me so sad. I would have been so much better for all of us if I got to tell you because what it would represent about you not knowing. Something to think about. We'll work on it after the election. Let's put it on the list of things we work on after the election. Here's what Elon tweeted. He said, fine, Taylor, you win. I will give you a child and guard your cats with my life.

Then Musk reached into a big pile of babies, grabbed one by the scruff of the neck and tweeted, "How about this one? I think its name is Roboticus Maximus or some shit." That is the tweet of a man who doesn't know what Travis Kelsey looks like or what he does for work.

Megyn Kelly also lost her shit over Swift's endorsement. And I can kiss your sails to the Republican audience. Goodbye, Taylor. Hope you enjoyed them while you had them. This is disgusting. If she wants to vote Harris-Walls, she can do it all she wants. But to say the reason she's doing it is because of Tim Walls' stance on LGBTQ, F-U, Taylor Swift.

Megan Kelly's surprise would make sense if Taylor Swift hadn't also encouraged people to vote against Marsha Blackburn in 2018 and for Joe Biden in 2020. In fact, during the ERA's tour, she said from the stage during Pride, and I quote, there have been so many harmful pieces of legislation that have put people in the LGBTQ community and queer community at risk. That's why I'm always posting. This is when the midterms are. This is when these important key primaries are. She also encouraged her fans to do the research into politicians asking, are they advocates? Are they allies? Are they protectors of a

This is during the Aris tour. She's been doing this for years. Could she do more? Of course. But more than 400,000 people clicked over to the voter registration link Swift provided in the 24 hours after that post went live. Taylor Swift is like a nuclear arsenal. I don't think something this powerful should exist. But since it does, I'm glad she's on our side.

Meanwhile, when asked this week what he would have done if he was in Mike Pence's shoes on January 6th, Jared from Subway Part Deux Vance said... They're getting a little broke. He said he wouldn't have certified the election. Either way, it's a good thing Vance wasn't in Pence's shoes that day. Pence would have never escaped that mob barefoot. Glass all over the ground. Delaware state senator and friend of the show Sarah McBride won her Democratic primary for Delaware's lone House seat on Tuesday.

She now is likely to be elected the first openly transgender member of Congress. Welcome to a workplace where half of your colleagues hate you before you've even set foot through the door. You'll get used to it, said Joshua Marketing, who makes tuna melts at 11 a.m. every day and signs his emails. Cheers. Speaking of groundbreaking women, Melania Trump released a bizarre series of... Whatever. Bizarre series of videos this week. She really did. It's wild. As she's promoting her forthcoming memoir, Melania...

Let's take a listen. The attempt to end my husband's life was a horrible, distressing experience. Now, the silence around it feels heavy. I can't help but wonder, why didn't law enforcement officials arrest the shooter before the speech? Okay, that doesn't... As they bandaged up my husband's ear, I couldn't help but wonder, is there something I wasn't hearing? LAUGHTER

Food Fighters front man. Whatever. We're going to talk about it. Dave Grohl announced on Tuesday that he'd fathered a child outside of his 20-year marriage. Well, there goes your hero. Wow, is he here? Two incredible bands, two incredible families. This guy never stops working. Speaking of people trapped in a tomb of their own making, researchers analyzed the remains of people buried in a Milanese crypt. Milanese crypt.

The remains of people buried in an Italian crypt in the 1600s. They found evidence that Europeans were using cocaine centuries earlier than previously thought. But researchers couldn't tell because it seemed like they really had their shit together. This does feel obvious. No one's ever said, I have an idea for an opera while not on cocaine.

Speaking of the cosmos, two astronauts completed the first ever commercial spacewalk on Thursday morning in a collaboration between SpaceX and billionaire entrepreneur Jared Isaacman. Said Isaacman, while standing in the hatch back at home, we all have work to do. But from here, Earth sure looks like a perfect world. Okay, shut up, Jared.

You don't get to do your one small step for man. No one cares. And we all talked about it. We're going to pretend you were never even up there. Billionaires in space. It's either the end of the bad joke or the beginning of a policy solution Jared won't like. Jon Bon Jovi successfully talked to distraught woman off a Nashville bridge this week. It's true. Because it's always darkest before the Don Bon Jovi. Well, that came too late.

As we all know, 28% of likely voters told the New York Times that they felt they needed to know more about Kamala Harris, and two-thirds of those voters specifically wanted to learn more about her policies. Another day, we can lament the fact that this is an election between a mainstream Democratic figure who will pursue popular center-left economic policies while appointing judges and officials who believe in abortion rights and gay rights and antitrust regulations and climate change and unions, while the other is the worst president in American history. But not today.

Today, we're not going to judge or complain. We're going to recognize that many people aren't hyper-engaged partisans. Some people are just tuning in. And all of us are drowning in cynical bullshit designed to dispirit us while obliterating our attention spans. That's why we've invited the incredible Candace Kane to pole dance while I read Kamala Harris's policy page out loud to you now. In a special segment... In a special segment, we're calling Pole Watchers. Wait, I'm coming over here.

Hi, Candace. Thank you for being here. I'm going to stand right here. Hi, Jane Fonda. Is that here? Okay. Here we go. Under the Kamala Harris plan, more than 100 million working and middle-class Americans will get a tax cut by restoring the child tax credit and the earned income tax credit. They will also expand the child tax credit to provide a $6,000 tax cut to families with newborn... Wow. Newborn children. Wow.

Holy shit. Vice President Harris has a plan to build 3 million more rental units and homes that are affordable to end the national housing crisis in her first term. And she will cut red tape, penalize firms that hoard available homes to drive up prices for local homebuyers, and sign legislation to outlaw price fixing by corporate landlords. Woo!

She will also provide first-time homebuyers with up to $25,000 to help with their down payments. Kamala will expand the startup tax credit for new businesses from $5,000 to $50,000 to hit a goal of 25 million new business applications by the end of her first term. So high up. Vice President Harris will extend the Biden administration's $35 cap on insulin and $2,000 cap on out-of-pocket spending for seniors to all Americans.

Her tie-breaking vote on the Inflation Reduction Act gave Medicare the power to negotiate lower drug prices. As president, she'll cover more drugs. As vice president, she'll help cancel $7 billion of medical debt for 3 million Americans. As president, she'll cancel medical debt for even more Americans. And that's just the beginning. So be like Candace and make sure you and your friends and families hit the polls and hit them hard. Please give it up for the wonderful Candace Kane.

You can see her perform at Rocco's WeHo this Saturday at the Ventura County Fairgrounds on September 28th and 29th. And follow at Sweet Miss Candace on Instagram. And if you want to help get voters' attention but can't quite get your ankles behind your head, go to votesaveamerica.com slash 2024 and sign up to volunteer. When we come back, Kumail Nanjiani's here. Candace Kane. Come on. Wow. Did you see that?

Jane Fonda, did you see that? All right. Candace Kane, everybody. Amazing. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. This podcast is supported by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Planned Parenthood Federation of America exists so all people can get access to the sexual and reproductive care and education they need. Planned Parenthood organizations advocate for health equity and policies that allow people the freedom to control their own bodies, lives, and futures. More than 2 million patients each year rely on Planned Parenthood Health Center services,

like STI testing and treatment, birth control, gender-affirming care, abortion, cancer screenings, and more. Reproductive healthcare and rights are under attack from public officials who are out of step with the will of the vast majority of Americans. The constitutional right to abortion has been stolen, and politicians in 47 states

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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's something that scares you? Share a fear no matter how big or small. I'm afraid that I might go on a reality show and spend months getting ready and then actually end up going home first and having that be a secret I keep from people until the day on the calendar arrives. We're going to talk about this later, but I think that you actually won in this scenario compared to others. That's true. I'm glad to hear that, Tommy. I can't wait to hear more of your thoughts.

in an actual show, not an ad. We all need therapy is the point. You need therapy. I need therapy. I need more therapy than ever. Actually, when you go on certain reality shows, they'll give you a therapist. Really? Yeah. I should have given that other guy one.

I hope he's taking advantage. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist anytime for no additional charge. Therapy's great. I texted my therapist and I said, after the election, we gotta start therapy again. So that's something I did. That's good. Visit betterhelp.com slash love it. I just think it's a good thing to do. Everybody needs therapy. I'm actually in a very good place, believe it or not.

Believe it. It's true. But maybe you're not, or maybe you are, and you should just get some therapy anyway because everybody needs it. Everybody. BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash loveit. BetterHelp.com slash loveit. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Prolon. Did you know that there's a nutrition plan that doesn't just help you lose weight but can also help lower your biological age score? It's called Prolon by El Nutra. And here's the craziest part. It's a fast that includes food. Hmm.

Hmm.

And we're back. Please put your hands together for the second biggest nerd on the show tonight. Come on, I got to read these intros beforehand. It's the one and only Kumail Nanjiani. Hi. Hi. Oh my God. Hi.

It's good to see you. Thanks for having me. That is a tough act to follow. What do you want me to do? I can only go halfway up that pole. Dear diary. I love this venue, by the way. They were able to accommodate my cat-only diet. Thank you. Yes, it's perfect. Okay. I made a joke, and only the person on stage heard it. That's how you know I'm a showman. I saw you in the new season of Only Murders in the Building, so before we get started, who did it?

I will tell you who did it. He wouldn't. He's a pro. If we do a vote and more people want to know, I will tell. Is it hard to keep the secret? No, because I know I'll never work again if I tell. Threat of hunger is a very good motivator.

So when we reached out to you and we said, "Hey, what are you watching?" We thought, "Oh, it might be something that's been made in the last, like, 20 years." Incorrect. You're watching the old Ninja Turtles cartoons and you're watching the old Batman: The Animated Series. Is that right? No. So, I'm watching... No. No. Thank you for... Okay. Next question. No.

There's... Okay, there is a new Batman animated show. Oh, it's the new one. That's really good. However, I am watching some old shows. I am watching my so-called life for the first time. Oh. Oh.

So it's my wife's favorite, one of her favorite shows. I've just never seen it. I started watching it and I bawled every episode. I watched this episode today called The Zit where she like gets a zit on her chin. And at the end, I had to like put my life back together. I like fell apart.

I'm watching Ninja Turtles because there's a thing on Amazon Prime. I don't want to bleep this out. I don't want to promote anything. On FreeVee, they just have channels of stuff that are playing. And there's like a whole Ninja Turtles channel. And you turn it on and some random Ninja Turtles episode is playing. And I have it on while I work out or when I eat lunch. Okay. You asked, man. No, I... You brought it up. I wasn't like, hey, I got to tell you about FreeVee.

Remember Krang? Of course, I saw him today. He was the best. Shredder. Shredder. Riding around in a dude. Weird dude. Why do you get yourself put there? Go higher up.

You're the brain. Why are you installed in the stomach? That's such a good point. It doesn't make any sense. You could put yourself anywhere. You're waist height. You're the smartest being in the multiverse. Go on the head. Yeah, go in the normal part of where the brain goes. Doesn't make any sense. It never made any sense. The rest of this is just going to be Ninja Turtles riffs. I don't mean just me. Jane Fonda's going to come up and talk about Donatello for a while. If we talk about Ninja Turtles in front of Jane Fonda, we'll burst into flames.

I think we are. All right. As we've now hit what scientists call the home stretch or silent screaming portion of the election, I've let my true love fall by the wayside, which is being a huge nerd. Which is why we're going to burn through the latest in nerd news together, Kumail, in a lightning round we're calling Only Nerders in the Building. It's a good name. I like it. I like it. You're a little too proud of it? Yeah. Yeah.

That doesn't mean it's not good. Yeah, no, I know. I should have let it speak for itself. Yeah, throw it away. Yeah, I should have thrown it away. What's it called? Only Nerders in the Building. Oh, that's good. All right, I'm going to read you some nerd news, and we'll just get your reaction to it. Yeah, let's talk about it. First up in nerd news, Ian McKellen says Peter Jackson's new upcoming live-action Lord of the Rings movie, The Hunt for Gollum, will in fact be two movies.

Someone is booing that. They're booing two movies. How do you feel about that? About them being two movies? You're breaking it up. They're always breaking them up into two movies now. Well, my favorite, I mean, the first ones are broken up into three movies. I know there were three books still. We're not the only nerders in the building, but it's catchy. It's catchy, gone. People are talking about it.

More Ian McKellen as Gandalf. I mean, I can't say, I'll take 10 more movies, you know? I agree completely. Yeah, so I'm really into it. I agree completely. I remember when they broke up the one about Smaug. Smaug. Smaug. Yeah, they broke up the one. They broke one book into three movies. Yeah, and that's way tougher. Yeah, and Smaug is the J.R.R. Tolkien version of Scrooge McDuck. Yes. That's how I think about it. That's exactly right.

You love saying smog. Smog. It's fun to say. It is fun to say. I've gone years without saying smog and now I relapsed. Yeah.

Kevin Francis, a friend of the late Peter Cushing, is suing Lucasfilm over their digital recreation of the actress' 2016 Rogue One, a Star Wars story. Francis claims that he must authorize any recreation of Cushing's image following an agreement he made with Cushing in 1993, one year before his death. Lucasfilm claims it didn't need his permission to recreate Cushing's image due to the original contract for 1977's Star Wars, though.

Though, they did pay the estate a chunk of money when they called saying, hey, what's going on? Well, okay. So who's this guy? He's a friend. He's a friend. He's a friend who's showing up now to say you needed to get my permission. You know what? I'm going to do this for you. If I die and they want to use me, you're the guy. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. You got to go through me. You got to go through me. I like that I started with if I die. Yeah.

Well, it just, well, because they're going to come to me, the suit is, we got an idea, we got an idea. It's called She's in a Coma Again. Well, you're dead. You're dead. They're coming to me. Uh-huh. And I'm like, I think he'd love it. Yeah. He told me he really wanted to do a sequel. But it's going to cost you. Yeah. Well, how do you feel about them resurrecting deceased people for our entertainment? I... What? Hey, hey.

Don't boo just objective descriptions of what's happening. Yeah. That is what's happening. That's what's happening. It's for entertainment. They're not coming to be like, well, go register to vote. Which is what we should do. I would be into that. Just Ian Holmes from Alien and Peter Cushing just in a row, just in character, telling everybody to vote. I think you got to bring back, just to really do it, bring back like dead dictators to be like, you should vote. And you're like, oh my God.

If Mussolini's saying that, I better do it. You guys hear what, you guys see Saddam's TikTok? It's like actually pretty persuasive. I think it was a little in poor taste to have Prince and Saddam doing it together. Yeah. I didn't know Saddam could harmonize. Yeah. Neither did he. I thought harmony was not his strength. So... See, I can do wordplay too. Hey.

I know that the relatives are the ones who are giving permission. I would not want to see my grandfather or my grand... I'm getting emotional. I would not want to see them again on screen saying words that they never said. For me, that would be... That personally would be a violation for me. But, I mean, you know, that's how I feel. But... It's the family members that are giving permission. Yes. Except then... But then it's like, okay, but like...

yes, in some sense it belongs to them, but in some sense it doesn't belong to anyone. But then on the other hand, we're not uncomfortable with, say, an actor spending months and months working to be like a person who passed away and doing it in a biopic, right? No one was like, oh, no, Will Smith can't play. Well, I guess Muhammad Ali was alive at the time. Yeah, but that's different. That's not like that person's actual... They try and really copy that person's actual face, you know? Right. It's...

It's a little different. I have a new plan. When I die, they can use my likeness, but only in porn. Problem solved there. They'll be like, wow, that guy works hard. I did not mean that to be a pun.

I did not. Wordplay. Now they're waiting for it. Now they're expecting it. I did not. This week, Apple announced its upcoming iPhone 16, which has a variety of AI capabilities, including creating AI images. They also created... We can't show you because of technology, but they created...

It doesn't matter. Wait, what did they do? They created a, you can make AI images with the next generation of iPhone. I think because they can't figure out how to make the iPhone any different. They're just the same year after year. And they've got to put one out every year. Every year. So now they're going to add more AI to it. I will say I am very generative AI. I am very against it. I've actually, I'm not, I know people use it, whatever. I have never used ChatGPT. I've never used one of those image generation ones.

I think AI is against the very foundational philosophy of making art. I feel like... I think...

I don't want to get on a soapbox, but this really bothers me. Art to me is an expression of a person. It's their soul. It's their experience. And when I read a book or see a painting, I'm like, that person only in that moment could have made that. And when I see that, I get a sense of who this person was and this intention behind it, an intention to communicate what's inside of you to outside of you. And I think AI doesn't have intention. I feel nothing when I look at AI art. So...

I agree with you to a point. Where I agree with you is I believe art is created by people. Yes. And because art has meaning. I think there was Ted Chiang who's written incredible short stories and stories worth your rival. He had a really beautiful essay talking about this. But

I do think AI can be a tool for creativity. And I have played around with chat GPT and I played around with the image generators. And I don't think it's right to use these things to replace an artist. But there is something that happens sometimes

when you have this tool at your disposal to put things together and see them so quickly that makes ideas where there wasn't an idea before and the idea doesn't come from the computer, it comes from you. You start thinking, oh, what a... I never imagined how easy it would be to have SpongeBob do 9-11. Now... You mean he didn't do it? If you believe the official story. But, you know, that's a bad example. But...

But then, all of a sudden, this thing is spitting out image after image of SpongeBob doing 9-11. What does that look like, my friend? What do you mean? What is the image of doing 9-11? What does that mean to a computer? Is it SpongeBob flying into the towers? SpongeBob? Yeah. He wouldn't do any damage. He's a sponge. Well, he's... I lost the debate. I would...

It would have to be like SpongeBob calling up Osama to be like, hey, I'm going to pitch you something. But here's what I mean. Here's what I actually mean. I'm sitting in front of Dolly, the image generator, and I think, God, what is something insane that's impossible that I'd never have thought about before? And I thought, Donald Trump on trial, but he's a giant hamburger.

Now, that thing spat back out at me a bunch of images of different giant hamburgers with faces, the face down here, a judge becomes a burger, then you're adding pets, you know, like now that the jury is dogs. This is what happened. I'm a little stoned during this. Yeah, I got that when you said the judge is a hamburger. No part of me heard. SpongeBob did 9-11 and was like, oh, he sounds totally sober. Yeah.

I like that this year, like, art is the truest expression of a human soul. And I'm like, Trump's a hamburger. The judge is a hamburger. That is very true. Good counterpoint. But...

But all I'm getting at is the possibilities that the tool presents makes your mind think of new things. Sure. And that's what a tool can do. And so as long as it's a tool and not an end, as in you are the artist, this is a tool. As long as you think of it as a paintbrush and not a painter, I think it's okay. It's all I'm getting at. I understand that. I've never actually thought of it like that. And I understand that. But the truth is, for instance, you know, in movies, there's a lot of... I don't want to get into this whole thing, but...

concept artists, right? You can see people, the first person who drew a TIE fighter, right? Like that came from someone's brain and you could see the first painting of it and it's gorgeous. I think as time goes, those people, those artists are going to lose jobs and are going to be replaced by AI just generating soulless images that are just then going to be... And they're stolen from people who did real art, you know? I mean, when the judge was a burger...

Yes. That burger is from like a burger. From a collection of burgers scraped from the internet. And to be clear, I didn't profit off of this image of Donald Trump as a hamburger. It served no purpose. It probably cost me money, frankly, because I should have been working on a podcast.

But your point is valid. No, I understand. I think we both agree. Hey, you know who else came out of somebody's stomach? The alien in... Well, in the aliens, but also in Total Recall. Guado, thank you. That's why you're here. And I thank you. You knew what I was searching for. Guado. Can I tell you something about Total Recall? Yes. The first breasts I saw were in that movie. And there were three of them. Three of them.

And I was like, I was so traumatized. I went to my parents. I was like, guys, I have to stop watching this movie. I have one question. How many... Well, that's one thing that AI struggles with, making sure there's an even number of breasts. Really? It just goes to prime numbers? That's not something...

I know two is a prime number. I know. Don't make me say it. Don't make me say it. Nerders in the building. Nerders in the building. Thank you, Kumail. Thank you. Season four of Only Murders in the Building. Oh, can I also promote my tour? Yes. I'm touring right now. I'm doing stand-up. I'm going all over the place. Linktree.com slash Kumail Nanjiani. I'm in Atlanta. I'm in Philadelphia. I'm in...

Phoenix. I'm in Minneapolis. I'm in Madison. I'm in Austin. Go see Kumail on tour. Yeah, I'm on tour. Thank you. Kumail will be back for the rainbow. Thank you, Kumail. When we come back, Zachary Quinto is here. Please welcome to the stage the first brilliant mind to grace the stage. These are so mean to me. Come on. These intros are... Either way, give it up for the luminous Zachary Quinto. Thank you.

Come on out. What's happening? It's just a mess. Yeah, sit here. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. Hi, everybody. Yes! That's what I want to hear. What was your favorite part of the debate?

My favorite part of the debate was when it was over. I just cannot believe that this is the discourse that we are putting forth as the level of presidential politics in this country. It is absolutely staggering to me. Yeah, it is, isn't it? This is where we've arrived. It's wild. So quickly. It's crazy. In our lifetime. I know. I have nothing but admiration and respect for Kamala Harris, and I think she's been doing a fantastic job.

But I don't know. I just feel really like we're talking about other things than politics, actually, in this time. Yes, I think we are, too. I remember after the first presidential debate, you know, the one, that last one, and we all remember it, and there were people that actually Reagan did quite badly in his first presidential debate in 1984, and I was like, oh, I'm going to take this at face value, and I'll go back and check out this debate in 1984. It is Socrates and Plato. Yeah.

Truly. He's talking about the budget and the complexities of budget. We've jumped the tracks, I think. And the reality is, as far as I'm concerned, that this is not a referendum on policies or positions. It's actually a referendum on consciousness. And what we're seeing in the world right now, as far as I can tell, is that there are these unprecedented seismic shifts on a civilizational level

And these constructs that we've built for ourselves, the binary way of looking at things, they don't work anymore. They just don't work anymore. And so how do we have the conversation about where we go from here? And there was really none of that substance in the debate. It was really, to me, you know, again, it was just a facade of something, actually. And that was concerning. Just two points.

Have you ever thought about asking a computer to make a picture of the earth as a hamburger? It actually really helps. Can I tell you a story? I was on Instagram. No, I love Instagram. Have you heard of it? Yeah. And I was presented with this quote and I thought, oh my God, this quote is so beautiful.

It was about, you know, you'll look back on this time. I can't read it. I mean, it's probably on my phone, but I don't have my phone. But I read this quote and I really thought about it, you know, and it was attributed to this writer. And I thought, oh, how interesting. And I've never heard of this writer before, but what a, you know, prescient way of looking at things and

I went and I looked up who this writer was, and it's like an influencer. It's like a person who I believe actually generated this quote from chat GPT.

And presented it and then create and was publishing books and has a whole, like, I don't even want to say their name because I don't want to give them any credence or value because it, I mean, I sent it to people. I saved it. I was like, oh my God, I'm going to really share it. What's interesting about that, right, is like there was meaning in it that you drew and meant something to you and it wouldn't have otherwise existed in the world. I think just to bring it back,

to what we were talking about with the debate is I think one reason you're not going to see that discussed in a debate is because this kind of debate can't be about that. But what Trump represents, I think everybody is responding to uncertainty and this feeling of insecurity, whether it's economic or social, a sense that the world is changing faster than we can adapt to it. Some react to that biologically.

by finding someone in whom they can put certainty, someone who can say, I can fix it. It's actually easier than it looks. It's these villains that are causing it. It's these dummies that are causing it. It's these enemies that are causing it. And then I do think on the Democratic side, we haven't done enough to speak to that deeper worry you're talking about. But the gut instinct of, I think, mainstream Democratic politicians is to try to address the consequences of the uncertainty, right? Like the economic fallout, right? Like the...

the sense of housing insecurity or food insecurity or international security is to actually kind of lay out the policy agenda. But I think one of the reasons we live in a 50/50 country as opposed to a 60/40 or 70/30 country, as we all imagine it should be because what the fuck, is I think because we don't do enough to have, we have to step back

and take the time to think about these deeper questions but there's never any time because we're always running for president but also like how do we just engage one another from a place of uh looking beyond uh the things that we've allowed to define us right like i think microdosing will be a part of it say it again i think microdosing will probably be a big part of how we get to the other side of it um so uh

You play a doctor. I do. In this NBC drama called Brilliant Minds about Dr. Oliver Sacks, which I was really excited about because I think Oliver Sacks is such a cool figure. One thought...

Some actors can play a doctor. Some simply cannot. I know you can. I appreciate that, John. Thank you so much. And it's not a smart, dumb thing. There's doctor, not doctor. You know what I'm saying? I will say, to actually be in a position where I can say I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV, it's kind of cool. It's actually really special to me. And I can say it earnestly and with authenticity now.

That's so cool. Do people know about Oliver Sacks? So Oliver Sacks... Do we know Oliver Sacks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A neurologist. He wrote... The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat. The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat. Yeah. He was on Mars. And if you haven't read the books, the movie The Awakenings...

Awakenings. Awakenings, not the Simply Awakenings. And we all know that. With Robin Williams and Robert De Niro. Directed by Penny Marshall. Directed by Penny Marshall. A fantastic movie. Fantastic movie.

Based on Oliver Sacks. Yeah. Oliver Sacks was a world-renowned, iconic neurologist. He was also considered by the New York Times the poet laureate of medicine. He was someone who was inspired and driven by the idea of finding dignity in his patients.

And he would often say, "Ask not what disease the patient has, ask what patient the disease has. Where is the person?" And we're a medical show that's dramatizing neurological disorders. So you think about all of these amazing medical shows that have come before us, and oftentimes people come in with a gunshot wound or an illness or an injury or a disease that has to be cured.

And in our show, oftentimes there is no fix. There is no cure. There is no returning to normal. And so how do we adapt? How do we evolve? And we're dealing with the brain, which is the seat of consciousness, right? And so there is a limitlessness to that.

And there is, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I read scripts early in the season where I was like, well, that's fucking not real. And it's absolutely real. You know, the things that the brain can do and the ways in which the brain can change

turn on itself and uh you know uh change and and present adversities that you'd never imagine it's really spectacular um all the other thing about this show like it's based on oliver sacks but it's a fictional character right so i play this character uh all of the attributes and aspects of the character i play are lifted from the life of oliver sacks himself but yet it exists in a contemporary world and it's a fictional character so there's this hybrid where i get all

of the benefit of the source material, the books that he wrote, incredible articles. He wrote a beautiful memoir called On the Move. He did podcasts and TED Talks. He wrote an incredible book called On the River of Consciousness, which is really examining all of the people in history who tried to understand the brain and tried to understand consciousness. And he sort of went through in a chronological way and examined them himself. And, you know, in the...

19th and 20th centuries, case studies were the ways in which doctors learned how to treat patients, right? Because before medicine became diagnostic, before you could slide into an MRI machine and know exactly what was wrong with you, the only way you could really learn was through experience. So doctors would write case studies, very detailed, very intricate case studies about their patients, what they were like before they were ill, what they were like when they were ill, and how they dealt with the illness.

that art form really atrophied once medicine became primarily diagnostic and

And Oliver Sacks was in love with that form of exploration, of his patients. And so he was really driven by that as well. So it's this amalgam of, you know, really looking for the person and the dignity and finding who they are in the face of what they're up against. And also then articulating it and putting it into language and using language in a way that is really spectacular and beautiful. I mean, clap for him. Thank you.

Clap for Oliver Sacks. I only regret I never got to meet him, you know? He died in 2015 at the age of 83. He was celibate for 35 years. 35 years. I think that's a weird length of time to be celibate. It's an odd length of time to be celibate. It's such a long time, you know? Well, he was a product of his generation, you know? I mean...

Because he was gay. He was gay, yes, he was gay. He had a very complicated relationship with his mother. Both of his parents were doctors. He felt really, I think, beholden to their expectations of him. And I think in many ways he put his patients before himself.

And so it wasn't until later in his life, he ended up having a very substantive and fulfilling relationship later in his life, which I think is incredibly beautiful, which he writes about in his book. There's an incredible documentary about Oliver Sacks, which I encourage everybody to watch. He was a fascinating man.

And so to be able to play this role and to do it in a world where we get to imagine what would it have been like if Oliver Sacks had been born at a different time. So you mentioned that you were reading about Oliver Sacks and you didn't know what was real and what was not, which is why we're going to play a game called Dr. Quinto Medicine Gay Man. LAUGHTER

And the question will be, is this a real Oliver Sacks case or a fake Oliver Sacks case? A man who reported hearing faint music whenever he was exposed to direct sunlight included but not limited to Imagine Dragons 2012 hit Radioactive.

Not a real case. That's fake, yeah. A woman who saw the faces of those around her mutate and in her imagination become dragons. Real case. Real case. A year before Oliver Sacks' death in 2015, he co-authored a case study about a Dutch woman who would see human faces morph into dragon faces, which grew long, pointy ears and a protruded snout and a reptiloid skin and huge eyes in bright yellow, green, blue, and red. Cool. We have a version of that story on our show. Not exactly that story, but a version of it.

What do they become? You know what? Don't tell us. A man who was fun and flirty to strangers, but a complete bitch to his loved ones following brain surgery. Real case. That's real. A man who mistook a fire hydrant for some kid. Real case. Yes. This comes from the same man who mistook his wife for a hat from the 1980, 1998 book. In addition to the wife hat confusion, the man referred to as Dr. P would often confuse objects and people called visual agnosia. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's a weird one. Right? Yeah.

It's a fire hydrant, isn't that a kid? We have that on the show too. That's good. That's a good one to do. Yeah, it's a good one to do. It's one of the big ones. Sweet kid. I really like the actor that played the fire hydrant. She was really good. A woman who hallucinated a blue humanoid creature that spoke to her in gibberish. Real case. Fake case. Fucking fake case. It's from 30 Rock. Just kidding. It's fake. It's Rachel Dratch playing the humanoid.

A man whose memory goes out every 30 seconds. Real case. That's real. It's called... He wrote about the poor bastard in his 2007 book, Musicophilia. He was a conductor who recalled his wife in music but could not form new memories after contracting encephalitis. Yep. There's also, like, the idea... There's people that... For whom all music sounds like... Like...

like rattling glass and nail, like no matter what you're listening to, it's just like, like you could be listening to Beethoven or Bach, but your brain processes it and you cannot like, you know, imagine being in an elevator and it's like some soothing, you know, Kenny G version of like whatever. And it's, you know, that's how people hear any kind of music.

Music Ophelia is a really good one. Music Ophelia is a really good Oliver Sacks. And he gives a really good lecture about, and when he released Music Ophelia, he gave a really beautiful speech. You can look it up on YouTube. Look him up. If you don't know him, he is just a delight. And he also, you know, he suffered from prosopagnosia, which is face blindness. Yeah. So my character on the show suffers from prosopagnosia, face blindness. So the idea that I would see you, there's John. Hey, John, good to see you. Nice to meet you. We met tonight. I haven't met him before.

And then I see you two days from now in the grocery store and you come up and say, hey, it was so good to see you. And I'm like, I have no idea who you are because I cannot recognize this. And everybody would just think he was being rude. Yeah, totally. But it forces him to look deeper into the people that he's encountering. He has to look at them from different perspectives. Like what they're wearing. Yeah, what you're wearing, how your voice sounds, how you smell, how your hairline is, how your ears are, you know.

What? Nothing. It's just the things you picked out made me feel weird. You smell good. One thing. Great. One from that conductor who couldn't form new memories. I actually saw a documentary based on the Oliver Sacks book. And one thing that is deeply like it makes you really kind of upset and uncomfortable is he had this journal that he would keep.

And in the journal, he would write, I am now completely awake. This time it's real. This is the real me. I am finally at long last awake. And then he would cross out having written it the day before and the hour before and the time before that because his consciousness felt completely new to him. And because he had no memory of the consciousness from the previous hour or day, it seemed like he just became alive again. Yeah.

And I think deja vu is just the feeling of a recollection without the substance of a memory, or maybe it's the deeper structure of the universe. Right. It could be any or all of that stuff. Wow. Can we play the other thing? I don't think we can. We don't have pictures. What? What are we playing? What are the pictures? We can do it. I want pictures. All right. Are there pictures? Can we make the sound? Who are the pictures of? Oh. And you know what that sound means? What?

It's time for a lightning round game we call Would You Fuck This Doctor? What is that? Who is that with me? Oh, it's me. It's me, I think. Oh, it's you and me. We're the doctor. Oh, you're beautiful with long red locks. Oh, thank you. Here's how it works. We're going to ask you about a fictional doctor. You have to say if you'd fuck them. It's an objective quiz. There is a right and there is a wrong. First up...

Cartoon doctor Egon Spengler, the cartoon version of the Ghostbusters character. He has a PhD in a number of fields, including parapsychology and nuclear engineering, as well as the most magnificent head of hair you've ever seen. There he is. He's there on the screen. In the cartoon, he was blonde. I did fuck him. Yeah, that's right. That's correct. Not what I did. Oh, Egon Spengler. I can see that. I can see that. You make sense to me. Dr. Leo Spichemin from 30 Rock is played by Chris Purnell.

Only if he wears that coat while we do it. Yeah, it's a no. It's too much chaos. You can't have that drama around you. Next up, Dr. Gregory House from the Procedural House. No. It's a no. I love you, Laurie, but... That's incorrect. I'm sorry, but that's wrong. Fair, bro. Fair. And finally, the late, great Hannibal Lecter. Ooh.

Yeah, baby. Wow, all right. All right, taking your life in your hands, but I get it. I get it. And that's correct. Thank you, Zachary Quinto. That was good. That was great. We back for the round. When we come back, Jane Fonda. And we're back. My next guest is an activist, Oscar winner, Hollywood legend, a Broadway star, and probably better at hosting a podcast than me. Oh, fuck. Please give a warm Bourbon Room welcome to the one and only Jane Fonda. Welcome.

Hi. Thank you for being here. Hi, Jane. So nice to see you. Nice to see you, too. What's the matter? No, I'm just... I've lost already. It's over. Listen, who is seeing this show? Is this it? You mean live? Live, this is it. Okay. But then a bunch of people will see it on YouTube, and a bunch of people will listen to it as a podcast. Really? Yeah. Okay. Surprisingly...

Now, you've been a climate activist for a long time. There's a lot of doom around climate. There's a lot of sense of this problem is too vast, it's too big, but I don't think that's why you went and got yourself arrested. So where do you find... Well, you didn't get arrested because you thought there's no hope. No, I'm very hopeful, actually. Hope is very different than optimism. Optimism is saying everything's going to be fine.

And then you don't do anything to make it so. Hope is a muscle. I can get really depressed, but I'm giving it 100%. And so I don't, I don't get, I don't, I feel hopeful. And all my friends do. And I find joy in organizing and making things happen. So no, I'm not depressed. A lot of trees got cut down for all this stuff. Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

I'm sorry about that. You're right. That's a good point. I came on here. I thought you were a different John Lovett. I didn't. And I'm very pleasantly surprised. But I don't know why I'm here. I really don't. I asked my publicist, why am I here?

I mean... No, and your confusion? Yeah. Totally understandable. And again, like, you wouldn't know based on this or this that people listen. Isn't that surprising by my whole personality that people tune into this? You're very funny. Oh. And I... Yeah. And Jamel is so funny. Yes. Did you see Candace dancing? Yeah, that's why I came. Oh.

Yeah, she puts butts in seats. Yeah. No, I'm actually, I'm feeling good because, you know, at my age, I really, I could understand your humor a little bit. I mean, I understand why people laughed. I was worried. Because, you know, I can, you can kind of be out of it. You were worried that you were out of it? Yeah, I was worried that I wouldn't think you're funny and that I wouldn't really know why I was here. But you are funny. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I, she, yeah, she made me wish I was young. But even when I was young, I couldn't have done any of that. Well, now, you've been an activist for such a long time. Now, speaking of, when you, can we show the image of the 1970 mugshot? Because I feel like you should teach a course on how to look cool in a mugshot. I mean, that... You guys must be really short on money.

I don't think too many people must listen to this show. You have no money. You show a small TV show. No. No, you may be saying, why not put it on the big screen behind you? Successful shows usually have a big screen. It ain't the view, that's for sure. Jane...

I want you to know that people sweat and blood and tears went into trying to get that image on this screen. And it didn't work. But even with AI and all the technological wonders, even with billionaires soaring above our heads as we speak, no. Not tonight. Couldn't work. Well, it is a good mugshot. It is a good mugshot. I got lucky. The lighting was really good. That's cool.

I have several and they don't all look that good. So speaking of which, you told the Washington Post that one of your jailers said there must be a better way to draw attention to your cause. But is there? It feels like it works. You getting arrested. It's a big deal when Jane Fonda gets arrested. Everyone's like, holy shit, they arrested Jane Fonda again. Yeah, that's why I do it. I turned...

No, it's true. I mean, it's called nonviolent civil disobedience, and it has changed history throughout history. That said, you know, I'm white, I'm famous. They don't treat me like they do black people and brown people. And I recognize that. I don't want to make it look like it's some brave thing to be arrested. It's not. You usually, you get put in a holding pen with a lot of people that you wanted to talk to anyway. And I could do wall squats. Oh, okay.

You probably don't know what that is. I know what a wall squat is, Jane. You know what it is? I do know what a wall squat is. Jane, I've been doing Pilates. Really? But I... I have no idea what's going on. I really don't. But I turned 82 in jail, and I knew that would get a lot of...

It was like five or six years ago, and I knew it would get a lot of attention. And it did. And so a lot of other old women around the country said, well, if she can do it. And people came from all over the country. It was so great and got arrested for the first time. And it was fun. You see, we had a good time. Well, the other thing, too, is I think that like that kind of activism, it is amazing to see not just...

the influence it has, but how much the politics of climate have changed since you started doing climate activism. Like the Inflation Reduction Act is the biggest global investment in

The biggest investment in green energy, clean energy in global history. And it ain't enough. And it's not enough. But it is amazing to think that Joe Biden, I think someone who represents the kind of center of the Democratic Party, if anything, just a little bit to the right of it, managed to become a president based on activism, based on the policy discussion, based on the politics to become a climate president. You know why? Why? Because we pressured him.

This is really important. We gotta get Kamala and Tim elected. Don't criticize them. We just zip it, get them elected, and then organize. Then we have to pressure like hell because we don't have a lot of time. We're running out of time, but we still have time. It's very hard to elect somebody to high office who really knows.

I mean, who understands what has to happen. And it ain't easy, because what has to happen means changing the very bedrock of our economy, fossil fuels. They run the country, they run the globe. There's a reason why Trump invited all the heads of the fossil fuel companies down to Mar-a-Lago and said, if you give me a billion dollars, I'll do away with all the regulations. And...

That's where the power is. So changing that is very hard. But we have to do that because it's killing us. I get, I'm so angry I can almost not breathe because we are paying these fuckers to kill us. We pay them 20, 20 billion dollars a year of our tax money. Goes to the... That's a beer. Belgian white. Yeah, it's beer.

You're drinking. A little. Just a little take just to take the edge off. That's so cool. Not only are we paying them to kill us,

We're doing the same thing with the nuclear industry and believe me, these guys, the energy elite, they're trying to get us to buy the fact, what they say, nuclear energy is going to solve the climate crisis. It's a total lie. The only thing about nuclear energy is that a few people get really rich, really rich, and we pay for it. And if there's an accident, we pay for it. And they're trying to pull the wool over our eyes again.

Nuclear and fossil fuel is gonna kill us and we're paying them. I mean, we gotta end it. We gotta stop it. And that's why we have to elect Kamala and Tim. But it's also really cool to, you know, there's gonna be some kid that say, I had him in history. It's so great. That is cool. So there are like, I think, I think that like there are a lot of people, I think most... Do you have a beer? Can we fly in a beer for Jane?

There are a lot of, I think, there's a debate on the left, especially among climate activists that say, you know, Kamala Harris during that debate is saying that I'm not against fracking. The Biden administration, even as they're pursuing the Inflation Reduction Act for political reasons, for practical economic reasons, is saying, here, Kumail with a beer. God, is he cuter up close? Would you open it for me, please? I have arthritis.

There's your beer, Jane Fonda. But there are climate activists who say, I don't want to vote for somebody that doesn't recognize that we have to be against all this fossil fuels. They don't want to compromise. And your view, what you just said is, we have 60 days, we've got to just do everything we can, and then we can pressure them. How do you persuade people that feel the same way you do, that they need to vote for Kamala even if they have objections? Well, it's hard. I've got grandkids that I'm trying to persuade. You know, they're very, very angry about Gaza.

And I'm trying to explain that if you sit it out or vote for a third party, we're going to get fascism. You're not going to have any voice at all. One ticket with whatever problems they have, they will give you a voice. You can organize and pressure. We pressured millions of people from all over the world, pressured public opinion and Biden and made him do some of the things that he promised he would do.

They can be pressured, and we can't vote for a party that won't allow us to have a voice and to pressure. Belgian White. Now before... Belgian White.

I don't know. Is there a camera that is photographing anything here? Yes. There's actually several. It's a real production. It is? There are professionals. You can't see them. They're dark because of the lighting. There's professionals in virtually every direction. I came in here and walked a half a mile straight upstairs? Yeah.

Tonight, you're about to match wits with Crooked's resident film expert and dweeb. An Emmy nominee this weekend for his writing on the 2024 Academy Awards, please welcome Keep It's Own, Louis Vertel. There he is. Louis, come on. Good to see you, buddy.

Lewis. We were on Millionaire together. Yeah, we were. Yes. I can never beat him. She should be afraid. That's the way it works. Yeah. No, he knows everything. I know. I know he's a savant. When we were on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Together, this is how crazy it is to know this person. We kept getting questions on accident that dovetailed with her life. We got a question about a hundred-year-old tortoise she had met before.

And he was like impotent or something? No, I watched him be masturbated. I did. That's no way to speak about Rupert Murdoch. Who was Lonesome George was his name. Lonesome George. Very famous. Very famous turtle. They brought a Swedish horse, a Swedish woman vet over to the Galapagos.

They wanted to try to breed him so that the, you know, and it didn't work. Didn't work. No. I just want to say as a trivia person, aren't you all fucking in awe of her amazing memory? Jesus Christ. You know everything. No, you know. That's true. I do too. Yes, you're going to win this. Let's go. So here's how it works. Now, Lewis is a low-key madman. Right. So we thought we would up the difficulty and pit him against Jane Fonda in a segment we're calling Into the Fondaverse. Yeah.

Good place to be. I will ask both of you questions about Jane Fonda. And we will see who knows Jane Fonda better. I'm confused where we are. There's one wall that says bourbon. One wall says Roxy. Up there it says Chateau Marmont. Where are we? Mostly the bourbon room. Mostly the bourbon room. The bourbon room. Okay. I'm sorry. Go on. Jane, you've always been here.

First question. In the 2018 comedy book club, Jane Fonda and her three extremely horny friends navigate post-menopausal pleasure while reading which three erotic novels? Is this for me or her? It's either one of you can guess it. First to know the answer gets it. Oh. The Franti novels. The what novels? The Franti novels.

the Elena Ferranti novels? Right. It's Fifty Shades of Grey. Oh, yes. I don't know. No, no. Wait, that's the other one. Yes. Never mind. She's in the lead. It's Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Free. You won. Yeah, see. I think the point goes to Jane because she's Jane. Woo!

The Ferrante is the next movie, right? The second book. Oh, the second book. I got it. Jane Fonda took home the Academy Award for Best Actress for her turn as Brie in the 1971 neo-noir Clute. Unbelievably, she was initially concerned she wasn't right for the role and at one point asked director Alan Pakula to release her from her contract and give the part to whom? Faye Dunaway. Yes. Jane, that's correct. Yes.

Love Faye, but thank God Jane got that one. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah. Jane Fonda famously appeared alongside Lily Tomlin in Netflix's Grace and Frankie, but the pair also appeared alongside one another in three other feature films. Name all three. Okay, nine to five? Uh-huh. Club one, book club two, and...

Moving on. Moving on, yeah. From a couple years ago, yes? Yeah, that was a good one. Nobody saw it, but it was good. Yeah, right. You're missing one. You're missing one. And of course, 80 for Brady. 9 to 5, 80 for Brady. 80 for Brady. I didn't say 80 for Brady? No, I didn't. Oh, she wasn't even in Book Club. No, right. It's 80 for Brady and then 9 to 5. I got to tell you something, Jane. In my mind, she's in all my movies. I want you to know something. I didn't think she... She's my favorite leading man. Everybody always asks me.

I didn't think she was in book club, but I wasn't going to tell you you were wrong. That's another advantage you have in this game. I know. And I tend to use it to its maximum. Where's my beer? Before we move on, have you guys seen Lily Tomlin in the movie Nashville recently? Yes. One of the best performances you will ever see in a movie. Yes. You must go see it. Yes. Yeah. She copied my clued hair. No shit. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

What? Next question. What is the film Jane Fonda most regrets turning down? Oh, I know, I think. Bonnie and Clyde? Incorrect. She has said Bonnie and Clyde before. I can find the interview right now. Oh, God. What was it? It was Julie Christie and Omar Sharif. What was that movie? Oh, Dr. Zhivago. Yeah. That's correct, Jane. Okay. At least that's what you told Ellen. Okay.

Jane Fonda received the title role in the 1965 comedy western Cat Baloo, considered by many to be her breakout star turn. After the first choice actress passed, later it was revealed that the actress's manager had declined the role without consulting her, and if she had known, she would have taken it. Who is that actress? Who is the actress that was originally offered Cat Baloo? Yeah. Oh, that's a good... Well, I know that...

Her first three Oscar nominations, Barbara Streisand turned it down all three times, which is so crazy. According to Barbara. Right. I believe you. According to Barbara, I would have no career if it weren't for her. She turned down Barbarella. She turned down Clute. They shoot horses, don't they? What? They shoot horses, don't they? They shoot horses, don't they? And... Julia. And Julia. Can you see her? No, I know. It's all wrong.

So that's not the answer for that question. I'm going to go with 1965. Hmm. Cat Baloo. I assume she was already popular at the time. Elizabeth Ashley? Great guess. Correct answer is Anne Margaret. Anne Margaret. There was a phase when you and Anne Margaret had the exact same hair. I'm not kidding. It was confusing. Thank you. She would have been good in Cat Baloo. Yeah, absolutely. Yes. I'm glad she turned it down.

Oh, wait, quickly, story. Can I tell you one really quickly? Yeah. One time this guy came over to hook up, like it was like a grinder hookup. And at the time, I had this awesome poster of Jane Fonda in my house. And the guy was not super verbal, like he was drunk or something. And he comes in, says nothing, sees the poster of Jane and goes, Capaloo. And that was the beginning of a friendship. And he's a big movie person. Anyway, we had sex. Thank you. Thank you.

Final question. Which of the following is not a real quote from one Jane Fonda? Okay, ooh. A, what does Jane Fonda eat for breakfast? My boyfriend, well-toasted, buttered on both sides. B, I ate a beetle. C, my 82-year-old bones hurt. Or D, you can grease them up or down.

I believe she said the first one about eating the boyfriend for sure. That's correct. No. You didn't say that? No, you did. That's what I mean. I absolutely can hear it in your voice. You said... I would never. Apparently you did. I'm not a morning person. And you did say my 82-year-old bones hurt after you spoke to the Washington Post about being released from jail.

You said my bones hurt. Yeah, they probably did. They probably did. Me and the cockroaches, we had a good night. And you did say you ate the beetle. You ate a beetle. I did, but when I was a teenager. Which is the age to do it. It was at night. It was at night. So there, that changes everything. Yes, the quote, you can grease them up or down, is actually a quote from me about Philadelphia's light poles after the debate. Oh, God.

Lewis, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you've been absolutely obliterated. In front of all my friends. You wiped the floor with Lewis. You destroyed him. No, I've got to remain friends with him. He saves me and he makes money for me. Sometimes I do. When we go on to guest, you know, talk, you know, those, what are they called? Game shows. We made $125,000 for Fire Drill Fridays. Right. Yes. Hell yeah. Yeah.

And Fire Drill Fridays is the organization? That's one of them, yeah. I have the Jane Fonda Climate Pack and Fire Drill Fridays, which is part of Greenpeace. What should people do to support what you're trying to do? Well, Jane Pack, P-A-C, janepack.com. Okay. We have over 100 climate champion candidates all over the country, but we focus down ballot because that's where the real climate work is happening. City councils, mayors, state legislators...

Yeah. And what do you think about Lewis bonding with a would-be paramour about a poster of you? I love it. Okay. Listen, in your life, if you can get one person screwed, it's worth it. It's worth it. You've done something good. Also...

I just want to give advice to everybody else. If you meet somebody who is into movies, please God keep them because we need to keep the movies alive. I need people to be interested in movies and articulate about movies because that gets people caring about real things. So hopefully that sex turned into something real is what I'm saying. Thank you. And what a wonderful place to leave. When we come back, it's time for the rant wheel.

Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way.

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And we're back.

Before the rant wheel, the first two episodes of Empire City, the untold origin story of the NYPD is out now. From Wondery, Crooked Media, and Push Black, Empire City, the untold story of the NYPD, digs into the hidden history of one of the world's largest police forces. It is a fascinating, beautifully made...

incredible production, incredible direction, incredible story. It's a documentary. You should check it out. We're talking all about policing, but it's really helpful to have in your mind the history and where the assumptions about the police we have now, where they came from, because it really helps you think about it in a larger context. And it's beautifully made by Peabody Award-winning host, Chandra Akumanika. The series is an immersive window into the early days of the NYPD and begins in the 1830s before the NYPD came into existence.

New episodes drop every Monday. Follow Empire City on the Wondery app or wherever you get your pods. Listen early and ad-free by joining Wondery Plus. Also, go to votesaveamerica.com. If you haven't fucking signed up yet, just do me a favor and sign the fuck up. We are trying to get to 75,000 volunteers. That's my conservative goal. I want 100,000 volunteers. We're so close. Did you sign up? Mike, whose birthday is today and he's 29? Yeah.

The rest of your life ahead of you. You better have signed up. Thank you. Why am I saying it with this tone? This has not been authorized by any candidate or candidates committee. All right. Please welcome back to the stage, Zachary Quinto and Kumail Nanjiani. This is such a great outfit you've got on. And I love the no socks. That's really cool. There's socks in there. I feel so square with my rib socks. He looks like he's in Clute. Like it's a 1971 Strolling the Streets of New York. It was a high compliment. Well, he looks like a porn star. Dang. Dang. Dang.

I'll take it. The teeth, the mustache. Yeah, for sure. Everyone addressed your comments to me. Yes, hi, John. Hi, John. Now it's time for the rant wheel. Here's how it works. We spin the wheel, we land wherever it lands, but we can't see the wheel, so it's all going to work out. Let's spin the wheel. Am I going to rant?

You're gonna have to rant. What does that mean? Just pick a topic off the top of your mind and you can talk about it. Do you want to go first or third or fifth or what? Third. Third. First up, it's Lewis. Okay. Mine is going to be brief because her rant is going to be more important and then we'll actually learn something. My rant is about... Did you watch the VMAs recently? There was a VMA for most iconic performance of all time that people got to vote for.

Okay, so already there's a contradiction. Either it's the most iconic performance of all time, or it's not, and it's not about democracy. I know we're supportive of that sort of thing here. Not in this case. And what got voted the most iconic performance at the VMAs of all time was Katy Perry performing Roar. I just want to say this about the girl. Let me say this about the girl, fellow millennial. I support her and think her Vegas show is unbelievable and underrated. It's like the Kids' Choice Awards plus...

like being on Molly with your gay friends and it's like a really inappropriate show and you're always in the audience next to like a Mormon family. It's really creepy. But I have never even seen that performance from the VMAs before and there are too many important performances at the VMAs. I am namely talking about Madonna doing Vogue in 1990 being the greatest performance in VMAs history. The only problem with the song Vogue is that there's a big list of famous movie stars and I think she was too intimidated to include Jane Fonda. That's it.

Good rant, Lewis. Thank you. That's such an important point. Yeah. Let's spin it again. Oh, my God. It has landed on Zachary. Oh, my gosh. How lucky am I? Okay, I have a rant that's a kind of three-part rant, right? My first part of the rant is, my least favorite phrase in the world is, it is what it is. I hate it, too. Yes. A thought-terminating cliche. Okay.

When people say it is what it is, I just feel like it is such a resignment of their experience rather than looking beyond what their experience is to what it could be. So that's one of my rants. My other rant, do not clip your fucking toenails or nails of any kind in public. Don't do it. When I see people clipping their nails in public, I want to gouge out their eyes with a spoon.

And my third rant is Orbit gum, my favorite gum, the best gum, the best gum by taste, the worst gum by design. Who is designing Orbit gum packages?

And why do they still have a job? You go to get a piece of Orbit gum out of the fucking gum packet and then all of them come out and the paper comes out and then we were just downstairs in the green room and there was like an Orbit, what was it? I don't know, like a value pack of Orbit that was like a plastic thing that opens and you're like, what are people, what are they thinking? It's the best tasting gum that is the hardest gum to get into your mouth.

It comes in like a bouquet. Like you can't like pry it out. I'm not alone in this, right? It's like... Okay. Thank you. No, it's a real thing. It's like the paper of the gum is always stuck to the bottom of the package. It's glued to the fucking thing. Like they want you to have to get in there with your teeth and bite it out of the package. Yeah. Well, you lost your Orbit sponsorship. I'm so glad I got this off my chest. That's it for us in Orbits. Their sales reps are walking out in a huff.

Back to Cincinnati they go. All six of them are trying to get through the doorway at the same time. That wasn't wordplay. That was just clever. I was pretty happy with that. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Kumail. Oh, I thought, okay. It's not up to me. I guess we'll take your word for it.

I'll also stay in the world of music. You know, I love going to concerts. I hate the encore. Don't, just stay out there. Play all the songs in a row. Don't pretend to leave. I have to go get home. Like, I know you're coming back out. We all know you're coming back out.

Stay out here, play all the songs in a row. Like, how fragile is your ego that you have to make us extra clap for you? You'll finish this show that we've already paid for. And we all have to play along when they're like, all right, I guess we're leaving without playing our three biggest songs. And you're like, oh, no. Oh, no, the Eagles left without playing Hotel California. And Desperado. Oh, no.

And Hotel California. I don't know the Eagles' work. I thought of this because I saw a guitarist recently. When the band left, when they pretended to leave, the guitarist left his phone on the stool. It made me so angry. Like, at least pretend you're leaving for good. Make us earn it. You know, I feel like if you're going to do it, just, like, commit to it. Like, bring up the lights, open the doors, insist that the show is over.

And then as everyone's leaving, come back out and then play three more songs. Make everyone cancel their Ubers. Rant over. Yeah. Commit to the bit. That's a beautiful idea. Let's spin it again. It's gonna land on you. No, I'm so mellow. I'm too nice to rant. It's landed on Jane Fonda. I'm gonna pass it back to you. No, no, no. Don't you do one? Well, we can spin it again. Yeah, let's spin it again.

Let's spin it again. John, has any guest ever refused a rant? Well, we've never... The only person who could... It's landed on me. No one's ever refused a rant with the power and charisma of Jane Fonda. I've never been laid so thoroughly low, but in a way that felt good.

Can I say, it's so inspiring watching you, Jane. It was really, really wonderful. You're so, obviously you've been passionate your entire life and you've really put your money where your mouth is. You stood up for what you believe in. At some point, you haven't given a shit about your career and you fought for what you believe in and you're still doing it. Ladies and gentlemen, Jane Fonda, Zachary Quinto,

Louis Vertel, Kumail Nanjiani. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back. Here it is, the high note. Hey, love it. This is Seth calling from Milwaukee. My high note was that I got to marry my best friend in the entire world, Jared, this past Saturday. We got to sign our gorgeous ketubah together, stand under a chuppah that he had spent all morning decorating with flowers, and get celebrated with all

all of our friends by getting lifted up during the horror which we found a remix a edm remix of the haven agila and it was a hit so jared i'm so excited about spending the rest of my life together with you and it feels so great to finally be able to to finally be able to call you my husband

Hi, love it. This is Allie from Louisiana. And my high note this week is that for the very first time I went canvassing for Kamala. Last Saturday, I went canvassing in my precinct. I'm our precinct organizing captain. And we knocked on about 30 doors.

Got to talk to some really cool people that were really excited. And it was just so refreshing and energizing to meet other Democrats in Louisiana. We are small, but we're mighty. And fun fact, there's more registered Democrats in Louisiana than Republicans. We are just working on that mobilization. So that's my high note. Have a great week. Thank you all for coming. Have a great night.

Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Chris Lord is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Keeper is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mahana Del Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. And Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure.

Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can. ♪♪♪

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