We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!
Export Podcast Subscriptions
cover of episode The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2)  | Episode

The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode

2025/2/28
logo of podcast Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
D
Dr. Abby Medcalf
D
Dr. Marisa Franco
D
Dr. Tasha Yura
J
John R. Miles
Topics
John R. Miles: 我在播客中探讨了爱情中的自我价值和承诺的重要性。许多人将被需要与被重视混为一谈,但真正的爱不会让你不断猜测。它建立在相互尊重、情感安全和相信你重要的基础上。我分享了自己的经历,说明了如何识别你是否被选择,还是仅仅因为方便。我强调了承诺的重要性,真正的承诺不是关于排他性,而是关于通过行动不断选择对方。我还讨论了如何区分出于爱而被选择和出于方便而被选择,以及如何建立让你感到被重视和安全的关系。最后,我介绍了爱情中自我价值的四个维度:个人价值、关系价值、情感价值和未来一致性,帮助人们评估他们的关系是否支持他们的成长,还是逐渐削弱他们的自我价值。 Dr. Abby Medcalf: 我解释了为什么许多人会因为混淆信任和熟悉感而停留在错误的关系中。真正的信任包含三个方面:正直、能力和善意。只有诚实是不够的,还需要对方在关系中真正地付出,并且将你的最佳利益放在心上。如果只存在诚实,而缺乏其他两个方面,你拥有的不是真正的信任,而是方便。 Dr. Marisa Franco: 我指出,我们被社会条件化,认为只有浪漫的爱情才重要,这让我们陷入不健康的关系中。我们被告知,如果我们没有浪漫伴侣,我们就失败了。但事实上,世界上最快乐的人建立了整个爱的社区,而不仅仅是一段关系。 Dr. Tasha Yura: 我强调了自我意识在关系中的重要性。人们之所以停留在痛苦的关系中,是因为他们缺乏自我意识。他们不断吸引那些让他们质疑自己价值的伴侣,将强烈的情感与真正的联系混淆,将化学反应与兼容性混淆。如果我们缺乏自我意识,我们就会不断做出同样的选择,不是因为我们想这样做,而是因为我们没有努力去理解原因。 John Kim & Vanessa Bennett: 我们指出,人们在关系中犯的最大错误是从恐惧而不是从清晰中做出选择。他们停留在错误的关系中,是因为他们害怕孤独胜过害怕不满足。 John R. Miles: 我总结了在爱情中建立自我价值的重要性。真正的爱不是通过努力或牺牲来赢得的,而是与从一开始就看到你价值的人一起建立的。最强大的转变不是找到对的人,而是成为那个拒绝接受任何低于你应得的爱的自己。

Deep Dive

Shownotes Transcript

What if love doesn’t feel uncertain because of the person you’re with—but because you haven’t fully chosen yourself? Many people settle for relationships that leave them questioning their worth. This episode explores The Mattering Mindset in Love—the difference between being chosen out of love versus convenience, why self-worth determines the love we accept, and how to cultivate relationships that foster security and emotional fulfillment. This conversation will shift everything if you’ve ever wondered why love feels like a guessing game.

Download the Leave Behind in the full show notes at: https://passionstruck.com/the-mattering-mindset-in-love/)

Key takeaways:

  • Love isn’t about being chosen occasionally—it’s about being valued consistently.
  • If you have to convince someone of your worth, they are not your person.
  • The Mattering Mindset in Love requires mutual investment, not one-sided effort.
  • True commitment isn’t about exclusivity alone—it’s about daily actions that reinforce security and trust.
  • If clarity scares someone away, they were never fully invested.
  • The right partner welcomes conversations about commitment because they value you.
  • Settling happens when you mistake trust and familiarity for real emotional security.
  • Speak with your feet—your actions should align with your worth, not just your desires.
  • A great relationship makes you feel seen, heard, and valued for exactly who you are.
  • If you wouldn’t tolerate a certain level of effort from a friend, why accept it in a relationship?

Want to take this conversation further? Head over to JohnRMiles.com/speaking) if you’re interested in bringing these insights into your organization, team, or event.

Sponsors:

**Next on Passion Struck:**In the next episode of Passion Struck, John sits down with Natalie Namaste, an expert in self-healing and emotional freedom, to discuss how to break free from subconscious patterns and build a self-love foundation that transforms every relationship in your life. If you’ve ever felt stuck in toxic cycles, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.

For more information on advertisers and promo codes, visit Passion Struck Deals).

Join the Passion Struck Community! Sign up for the Live Intentionally newsletter, where I share exclusive content, actionable advice, and insights to help you ignite your purpose and live your most intentional life. Get access to practical exercises, inspiring stories, and tools designed to help you grow.  Learn more and sign up here.)

Speaking Engagements & Workshops Are you looking to inspire your team, organization, or audience to take intentional action in their lives and careers? I’m available for keynote speaking, workshops, and leadership training on topics such as intentional living, resilience, leadership, and personal growth. Let’s work together to create transformational change. Learn more at johnrmiles.com/speaking).

Episode Starter Packs With over 500 episodes, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. We’ve curated Episode Starter Packs based on key themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth, making it easier for you to dive into the topics you care about. Check them out at passionstruck.com/starterpacks).

Catch More of Passion Struck:

If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.

How to Connect with John:

Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMiles and on Instagram at @John_R_Miles. Subscribe to our main YouTube Channel here) and to our YouTube Clips Channel here). For more insights and resources, visit John’s website).

Want to explore where you stand on the path to becoming Passion Struck? Take our 20-question quiz on Passionstruck.com) and find out today!