Shownotes Transcript
First Person is produced in cooperation with the Far East Broadcasting Company, who rejoice in the stories of changed lives through the power of Jesus Christ. Learn more at febc.org. All are in bondage to sin, and we all struggle with the same sort of deep desires. My addiction and recovery from it has positioned me to really speak life and truth into people in a way that I think someone who had not suffered could. ♪
Coming up, the testimony of a man who is the most unlikely candidate to become a pastor. His early atheism and very bad life choices are the very thing that God is now using to make him an effective voice for the gospel. Welcome to First Person. I'm Wayne Shepherd, and our guest is Adam Waters, whom you will meet in a moment.
Bringing these first-person stories to you is for the purpose of telling how God works through all kinds of life circumstances to draw people to Himself. If you've been listening for a while, you know that there are endless stories that illustrate that truth. We've saved them all in an archive, which you'll find at FirstPersonInterview.com.
Download and or listen to them there at the website or subscribe to our podcast. We can also be found at facebook.com slash firstpersoninterview, and I hope that you'll leave a comment or program suggestion there. Adam Waters is lead pastor at Grace Bible Church in Elmhurst, Illinois. Let's begin to hear his story now on First Person. I grew up in the western suburbs of Chicago in church. My parents went to church and brought me along and
Sometime in, I would say, middle school, that awkward, difficult time in middle school, I really started to have serious doubts about what my parents believed and really how I was being raised.
And I began to investigate those doubts and found sort of a home for my thinking in neo-atheism. And so even from a young age, I understood who like Richard Dawkins was and some of the other thinkers there. Really? How young? Probably seventh grade. Really? I would say, yeah. Eighth grade. Definitely in high school. I was a full-orbed atheist by then. But, you know, I was a kid who always seemed to find trouble no matter where I was. You know, I would say it found me, but I was usually the precipitating factor. And so...
And often when I was in trouble, I had parents and teachers and loved ones warning me about the direction that I was going. But I was just, I knew better. You know, I really did think that I was smarter than everybody else around me. And when I read Proverbs, I cringe sometimes about the wise son and the foolish son because I realize, oh my gosh, I was the foolish son. Looking back. Looking back. Oh man, definitely. Yeah.
And in high school, I began using drugs and alcohol, hanging out with a crowd that was very receptive to the things that I believed. They believed like I did as well. And so it was not hard to find like-minded individuals where I could really just, quote unquote, be myself, even though I had no idea what that meant at the time. And I ended up getting a girlfriend, having one of my first girlfriends at 15 or 16. And almost immediately, I got her pregnant.
And it really in the face of warnings. I had people, including my parents, warning me about behavior that was irresponsible. I didn't want to hear it. I knew better. I was smarter than them. I really did think that. And so at 17, we had our son and I ended up marrying his mother. And it really...
as a way to stave off the I told you so, which inevitably would come, I told everyone I meant to do it. Were you still a teenager then when you got married? I was, yeah. Well, I was 18. I had just turned 18. And so married life was hard. Being a father was even harder. I looked at my son when he was 17 and thought, oh my goodness, now I know why my mom and dad looked at me the way they did when I broke the news. And so I realize now how
So far in over my head, I was and I had this impulse that I had to do something to provide and show everyone that I was right, but also I lacked all of the tools and resources to do it.
So I decided that I would join the military. And I got into the medical field, which was something that very much interested me. And I was stationed with the Marine Corps unit. I was a combat medic or corpsman for artillery battalion in North Carolina. And I found family. I found guys who really embraced me, loved me. Interesting. Were you looking for structure, you think?
Maybe. I mean, my heart might've been crying for it. You know, I did what I wanted before that. So, um, there was a bit of a transition to that, but I realized once I was there that it did feel something like this is what I'd always been missing, you know?
Part of it is because you train hard and you play hard. And so my, you know, my growing addiction behind the scenes was getting, being fed and it was a normal, natural thing because I was one of the guys. I look back on it too and I realized that it was almost like a perfect storm because on the one hand I could say, look, I'm providing for my family. On the other hand, I could go out with the guys and go have fun and not have to deal with a lot of responsibilities, you know? And so, yeah.
It wasn't long before I had been drinking pretty heavily and using drugs, particularly ones that couldn't be tested for because I was deceiving and bypassing that. And in terms of being checked out from my marriage too, it wasn't long before my wife had found other men, other comforts and things like that. And we ended up getting a divorce about six years in to our marriage.
We moved back to this area, western suburbs of Chicago, and I had linked up with another woman I had known for years before that. And it wasn't long before, it was like almost not even skipping a beat. It was like one to the next. I look back and I'm like scratching my head, like, you know, it's so obvious what was going on in my heart. Were you still in the military when you met her? I was, yeah. And so we ended up getting married. This is wife number two. This is Erin. And...
And things were good. I mean, we played house for a while. Erin was a recovering addict or at least a person who had a drug history, but she had not been using at that time. But I can tell you this, Wayne, it's like if you're not treating that core issue, it is inevitably going to come out, especially when stressed. That's right. It's not.
And so we began using for socially until pretty soon it got pretty significant. All the while in the military, I'm growing and excelling, and I'm getting advanced very quickly. And I was put into a school called Independent Duty Corman School, which is an advanced medical training for enlisted people where I had prescribing privileges. I could diagnose. I had a lot of responsibility at a very young age. And a lot of access? A lot of access. And because I was smarter than everyone, I utilized that access. So I thought...
And, um, things had gotten really bad, really bad. Everyday drug user, everyday IV drug user and pharmaceutical grade things. And, um, I had used all the morphine on the ship I was on. We were out to sea off the coast of Cuba and, um,
And after I had used everything, I suddenly got sick. And I was like, what is wrong with me? I must have a flu or something, never realizing that I was going through drug withdrawal. Then it dawned on me. And then I had this moment of lucidity where it was, do you realize what you've done, man? Do you realize what you have gambled and how you have gotten to this place that you...
All right. Today, you obviously must have been able to cover up the loss of the drugs. I mean, there was they were disappearing someplace. Right. Well, I'll just say that tamper proof boxes are not tamper proof. You don't need to go any further. OK. Statute of limitations is up. Just want to say for the record. So but it dawned on me is like, how did I get here? Like what's left? You know, there's no way forward.
And I came to the conclusion that the only solution was to kill myself. I could hide it as I fell overboard. My wife would get insurance payout. I wouldn't have to face the shame of having to, you know, let everyone know what was really going on. And so I decided I was going to do it. And it was late one night and I walked to the back of the ship. And in the middle of the night, it's no lights on a ship because they're trying to stay hidden.
It's so black. It's like you're swimming through blackness. It's really interesting. So I'm feeling my way towards the back of the ship and my hand lands on a person. And it's a young lady who was out there on watch, essentially making sure no one fell overboard. But you can't see anything. There's no way she would see anything.
So we talked for a minute and I walked to the back of the ship and I looked out sort of into the horizon and I remember the propellers were stirring up algae. So it was creating this like bioluminescent glow that you could see all the way to the horizon. I just was thinking, wow, that's cool. You know, I was thinking through the steps of what was going to happen next. Okay, I slip in quietly. No one's going to hear me. She's not going to hear me.
How long is it going to take for them to realize that Doc is gone? Everyone's called me Doc since the day I joined the military. And I realized they would go through the process and they would say, who was the last person to see him? And this girl that I bumped into on the way out would have to say, well, I did. And she was the one who was responsible for making sure I didn't fall in. I see. Okay, yeah. And I just had this moment of just conscience where I could not do it. I probably didn't want to jump in anyway, but...
So I marshaled my courage and went inside and told the commanding officer everything I had done. And he thought I was kidding at first. You admitted to everything? I did. Yeah, everything. I just walked up. I said, sir, I'm a drug addict. I've used all the morphine on the ship. I'm at your mercy, basically.
And he thought I was kidding. He thought it was a joke because I was so much of a superstar in that command and my career, my record had been such a demonstration of someone who was competent, confident. But it was. Covered it well then. Yeah. I had to because if I was going to continue to use, I needed to have these successes, you know.
Eventually he believed me and he flew me off the ship or he got me off the ship and to a carrier and then they flew me to a rehab in Virginia, which was woefully unprepared for a full-blown IV drug user. And so it was 30 days. They separated me from the military. My wife was angry because I told because she was using with me. She left, went back up to Chicago.
And I was in Virginia by myself then for some time. I tried to make a go of it, but it was impossible. And we'll pick up the story with Adam Waters right there in just a moment as you stay with us now for First Person.
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Search for Until All Have Heard on your favorite podcast platform or hear it online at febc.org. My guest is Adam Waters. Adam is a pastor, a believer in Jesus Christ who has given his life to Christ after such a dramatic story, which we're hearing about in first person today. And I want you to pick up the story. You've just been discharged from the military because of your drug use. Yeah.
Atheistic still? Oh, yeah, definitely. I realize now that my heart was crying for God and I was looking for him in all these other places, but I still was very hardened. It never even popped in my head, like, could this be a solution? So I'm in Virginia by myself, way in over my head, can't get a job, and still coming off of a long run of drug addiction. I can't think clearly.
And so I decided to just abandon everything and come back to Chicago. So I just one day picked up everything. My house stayed, all my clothes stayed. I just got in my car and drove home. And I didn't find it any easier up here either. You reunited with your wife? No, we were still separated. She was pretty angry with me for sort of imploding because it impacted so much. I understand, you know.
I got a job doing maintenance on some condos or whatever, and it wasn't long before I had found drugs in that job. And then once those ran out, it was kind of like it's a lot easier to find pills when you're in the medical field. Out here on the street, there's nothing but heroin, fentanyl. It wasn't long before that's where I was going. Once I started using street drugs, my wife and I sort of reunited, and it was not long before both she and I were very, very addicted again.
to heroin and when you think about it when you think of the idea of a heroin addict everything that goes into that idea street crimes needles the whole it's like that was me that was my life um and you can't maintain that habit for for nothing and so it wasn't long before we were committing crimes in order to raise the funds in order to continue our habit because the it wasn't just to feel good it was to not it's a vicious circle it's just yeah to be normal so um
And so... So you both go to prison then? Yeah. We ended up getting caught. We both went to prison. I went to DuPage County Jail. We both went to DuPage County Jail. I ended up needing a favor from the chaplain, so I wrote him a request. He came down and
And he gave me a phone call like I asked, and then he asked if I wanted some reading material, which I said yes. I wasn't going anywhere. I thought he would bring me John Grisham novels or something. He comes back with a bag full of books, and I open it up, and the first book I pull out was Bondage of the Will by Martin Luther. Oh, no.
I told you earlier when I heard that part of the story that you dove into the deep end right away, didn't you? Yeah, well, it's even worse. He brings Institutes of the Christian Religion by John Calvin. There was the Confessions and City of God by Augustine, and then Systematic Theology by Burkhoff. No beginner apologetic for you. No. It doesn't make sense why he did that, but God knew, and I believe the Spirit moved him. Because when I pulled that first book out, Bondage of the Will, and I thought this is propaganda, I don't want to read this.
In the middle of the night when there's nothing else to do, you know, I was like, well, maybe if I understand Christianity better, I'll be able to talk people out of it. So I started reading it. And something amazing happened is that I realized that there was a category for me that I had never considered, a fundamentally broken person like everyone else on earth.
In the past, I had always been just the kid who made bad mistakes because he was a bad kid. Now, I'm a guy in jail who's making bad mistakes because I have a broken heart. And I was in rebellion. And that just was like revolutionary for me. So, started reading voraciously, got into Calvin. And about three months later after reading and being skeptical and really challenging a lot of what I was reading, I went to bed one night.
And my eyes closed and I just faded and it was almost like a light switch went off. Like I opened my eyes and just a start. And the first thing that came to my mind was, you know you're a Christian, right? Yeah.
It's like this prodigal son moment. I tell my congregation, it's like God turned my cochlear implant on. I watch those videos and just sob because of that, just seeing the look on their face. That was the Holy Spirit, wasn't it? Amen. Yeah. Amen. It was like waking up in Wizard of Oz in color. It was like I got to see color for the first time. My life had been a tornado, and now here I am in a new place, a new kingdom.
And life has never been the same. Six years in prison, I spent with my Bible open on one side, some books on theology on the other. So you did serve a term. I did. I served 12 years in Illinois. You do half of that. Okay. So I was in prison for six years. Okay. Yeah. What happened to Erin during that time? She got out after 18 months. She had a much shorter term than I did. And she continued to use here and there. She ended up getting cancer again.
The day I got released from prison, I had found out she had died two days before. And so, because we had no contact, I was hoping to be a strong Christian husband to an unbelieving wife, but God had other plans. So, but it couldn't have been easy. You're released from prison, a new man in Christ, but it still had to be hard for you. It was hard. I still didn't really know how to live out here. I still had all that structure in prison, just like the military. And now I sort of have the world as my oyster kind of thing, and it can be overwhelming. Yeah.
My parents were great. I moved in there and they provided a place that was safe and encouraging while I tried to make sense of my life. What was I going to do from here on out?
I became a plumber. I met a woman at her church. She had been going to the church since she was four or five years old, and she had never been married. And so it was like this wonderful opportunity to—just like two people you would never expect to get together and now marry. I'm sure, though, that raised questions with her family. This guy with this past. Absolutely, it did. And we—
As we got married, I was a plumber, and I kept hearing the Lord call me to ministry, but I was afraid I would be poor. That really was the bottom line. I was like, and so I got news for you. I'm not bad for it. I have enough. And I kept saying no. And he kept speaking to me through neck pain and knee pain and back pain. And I realized that I don't I can't do this anymore.
So I went to Moody, and I got a degree, my undergrad. Let me ask, was it difficult to get into a Christian college, Moody Bible Institute, with your background? Well...
I actually applied to another Christian school right away after I got out, and they told me no because I hadn't been out for a year. It's really resentful. I was like, here I am, this new believer. You're supposed to embrace me, this and that. And I said, well, I don't want to go to your school anyway. And so I went to Moody, and I found nothing but acceptance and joy at my story. Of course, I had a little more time out than— It's a pretty radical change in your life, though, to end up at a Christian college, right?
coming from where you came from. Yeah, everything was different. All the priorities, the values, everything. But I had been a believer now for some time. And you'd had a hunger for the Word, obviously. I did, yeah.
To some extent, it felt like my undergrad was almost like a checking the box. Like I needed something to get to my seminary degree. Let me ask, was there a person or persons that came along during that transition time for you that mentored you? At my church, there was a man named John Searer. He lives in North Carolina. He was instrumental in
In me getting out and being welcomed with open arms, he went above and beyond. He lent me money. Let me rephrase that. He gave me money to help establish myself. Thank God for him. He lent me vehicles. He had done so much, he and his wife Sarah, to promote my growth that I don't think I would be where I am today without them. It was a big deal. Something that not everyone who gets out of prison has the luxury of. I'm well aware of that. Yeah, right.
Thank God for people like that, huh? Amen. So you're in Bible College, Moody Bible Institute. You're learning and growing. And are you called to ministry still at that point? Yeah, by that time we had a pastor at our church who was looking for a position to be filled for a director of discipleship in small groups. And so I took that role while I was in school.
And began meeting with people, counseling, establishing small groups, facilitating things. And he decided that he wanted to retire. And so there was just sort of this natural progression where he was mentoring me into his position and
And when the time was right and I graduated with then my seminary degree from Moody Theological Seminary, it was almost like I was prepared. So I took the interim position and then applied for the position and competed with, you know, 100 other applicants. But the Lord knew where he wanted me. Yeah.
And your marriage has thrived since that time. She's great. My wife's Elaine. She is my biggest cheerleader. She is the reason that I am the man today. She is people. She's very quiet and she's unassuming and people don't know the power that she wields, particularly in her prayer life and what it's done for me. I am positive.
Got a couple minutes left, Adam, and I just have to think that there's someone listening. Perhaps the kind of life you led is not the life that they have led or are leading, but they have a loved one who is. And they pray every day. They're just not willing to give up on that person. Encourage them. Stay in the battle. Put your pastor hat on if you will. I would say that this happened with Augustine, kind of like my predecessor. He
Monica, his mother, thought that her son was lost. And Ambrose, her confessor and her friend said, don't stop praying. He thought it was impossible for a mother who prayed so staunchly to the kingdom for that kingdom not to respond. And God did in the life of Augustine. And I would say the most powerful weapon that someone in this situation has is prayer, not only for the person, you know, praying for the outcome, but praying for ourselves and saying, Lord,
created me a heart that knows how to trust you no matter what happens because it's really important that we allow people who are in these situations to feel consequences of their actions. You've been through so much. You look back over it. Can you see somehow, some way that God was using all that?
Oh. To prepare you for what you're doing now? Psalm 119.71 is, it was good for me that I was afflicted that I might learn thy statutes. It was good that what happened to me happened to me. Not good that I did it. Those are always sinful things. No, but I realized that God can work those things to the good. Romans 8, you know, that I have had the opportunity now to speak into the lives of people who on paper look a lot different than me.
but because people are people and we all are in bondage to sin and we all struggle with the same sort of deep desires and wants and hopes
that my addiction and recovery from it has positioned me to really speak life and truth into people in a way that I think someone who had not suffered could. I love these never-ending stories of God's love reaching the most unlikely people, and that includes all of us, who then give the glory to God for his salvation and heed the call to serve him in some special way.
You've heard the testimony of Adam Waters, who is lead pastor at Grace Bible Church in Elmhurst, Illinois. And we'll post a link to the church at FirstPersonInterview.com.
Thank you to the Far East Broadcasting Company for helping to make these stories come to life for us. FEBC's own ministry is also seeing people come to Christ and faith around the world through radio and other forms of media. Millions respond to the gospel through FEBC. We'd love to share some of those videos and stories with you when you visit febc.org. Now, with thanks to my friend and producer, Joe Carlson, I'm Wayne Shepherd. Join us next time for First Person.