A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
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We did a Mark Wahlberg movie. It's now 10 years old. It's time to do it. The Gambler, a movie that has sucked Chris Ryan and I in, and we had to talk about it. And it's interesting we had to do that since I did not do well on my picks this week. But you can check that out on Monday night on Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts, on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel. You can follow all the videos and clips from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. And you can catch up with us live when we do these Sunday night ones

which we also put on Spotify as video. Yeah, a lot of video stuff going on for us right now, but Cousin Sal is going to join in a second. We're going to talk about a rollicking Sunday, just a bizarre set of early games, then some late games that seem promising, and then we're disappointing, but weirdly, weirdly interesting for the season, and a whole bunch of other stuff, including Parent Corner. It's all next. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. ♪

All right, we are live. It is almost 830 Pacific time. Sal, this is the first time I've ever done a live podcast right after losing a 13-point tease because the Packers decided to just throw it late for a touchdown. And then the Seahawks just decided to hand the ball off the last three minutes. This is why you don't do 13-point teases, Sal. This is what I learned today. They're super dumb. I don't know how I kept winning them.

Well, yeah, because you're what? There are four teams. Right. And you kind of have to win like all 12 games before you lose a game. Right. To make money. I don't know. It's tough. That game sucked. The whole day sucked. I was so disappointed. It was like nine hours of Tyson versus Paul. Like this was supposed to be a great day. It's still football, so it's great. But not one game was solidly compelling from start to finish. I'm so disappointed. I didn't even lose that much money.

Well, I lost my... This was my first semi-ass-kicking in a long time. It's not bad, then. Four games I really liked, and I was just dead wrong on three of them. I disagree, though, because I thought the early games were so...

incompetent and awful and poorly played. And there were so many bad QBs and so much weird shit. I actually kind of enjoyed it. Yeah. I guess we should have known. Every TV something stupid was happening. And there were some of the worst quarterback play. I mean, who did we have in the early ones? We had Mack Jones. Mm-hmm. Levis. He got benched. Yep. Jameis, he got benched. Hainer got benched. Rattler, DeVito, Boyle, Bryce Young should have been benched.

Cooper Rush, and Zombie Rogers. We're all playing on different TVs all again. With three benchings. You didn't even mention the worst one. Who? It was Tua. I mean, it really is the worst. I don't know when in the order you want to get to that game. Do you want to do that now? I had this for later. Let's do the bad QB draft now. The week 15 bad QB draft of everyone we saw today. And I have a 12-person list. Wow. Okay. Who's your...

Who is your worst one today? I know stats wise, he wasn't the worst, but and I might just be saying this because he screwed my fantasy season. I would have switched him out for Bo Nix at the last minute. But two is number one. And in terms of like who I wouldn't want on my team. And I'm sorry, I know Dolphins fans are going to get mad at me and us. But the way he contorts his body, I mean, there's three things he does that are horrible.

His body language is such that he turns his body, which allows the D-backs to jump the route. No other quarterback really does it like this. And then he puts, you know, I'm glad this guy's in stable condition that they, you know, they had to rip the jersey off and everything. But this is what's going to happen with Tua. Also, he's obviously injury prone. Also, he can't win in cold weather playing in the AFC East. I'm sure he's a nice guy. I'll keep sending him Christmas cards. I'll never stop. But he's the worst.

He really is the worst. Well, he's the worst in the sense that he tantalizes you with the potential of something that seems pretty awesome. That too. And then just pulls the rug out from underneath you. Today he had three picks and threw a pass that led his teammate right into an oncoming train, basically. And the game got stopped for 20 minutes. I've been on this bandwagon the whole time and he's been a divisive guy since college and the Dolphins fans are really protective of him. But to me,

everything has to be perfect and every play and situation and the teammates, and he's got to throw the ball within two seconds and it's got to be a quick slant. And every once in a while, receiver's just going to get crushed over the middle. And then everyone's always just going to throw the ball, the other team and the weather has to be good. And in a dome, he's great. And it's all these excuses. It's like, if you hired like a personal chef who is a pizza chef,

Yeah. And you were like, but I, you know, I don't want to eat pizza seven days a week. And the guy's like, okay. And then like day five, it's like, Hey, I made a pizza again. It's like, I,

Yeah. Like, what about chicken? Anything like, could you eat? Can you make a soup? Like, no, no. I actually whipped up this really good meatball pizza. And at some point he's just serving pizza. And that's to him. He's serving pizza day after day after day in these games. I just think he's a 500 or worse quarterback. Can I simplify it a little bit? I was with another food analogy. He's the Krispy Kreme.

He gets creamed. He's the creamed and crispy, but the Krispy Kreme has to be perfect. But whenever you have a Krispy Kreme, like, oh no, you got, you have to have it right when it's out of the oven. It's gotta be 80 degrees and it's gotta be outdoors and the receivers have to be healthy and it's gotta get rid of the ball in three seconds. But if you have a three day old Krispy Kreme or one day old or that night, forget it. We're talking about. Chang would say one day old Krispy Kreme is one of the most delicious desserts ever.

That's what he puts in a pan with the ice cream. He pans it, pan fries it. He's a magician. That's not fair. Yeah. Yeah. There's this place in LA I don't want to name, but it's a donut place. And you walk in and when you go in to buy donuts, you're like, oh, I'll just, can I get a half dozen donuts? You think,

They make the donuts individually. It's like a weird foofy LA thing. I know what you're talking about. Where it's like, no, no, we tell us what donut you made and then we're going to make it right. And it's going to be like fresh for you. And then you're in the donut shop for 10 minutes. And by the time the donut comes out, it's like, I could have already put down like two sprinkled donuts by the time I was waiting for this donut. Right. Maybe that's Tua. It's called Tua's. It's Tua's of LA. I just want the Dolphin fans to admit deep down they know. Like stop defending this. Just stop.

Like I, I, I was big on Mac Jones for that first year when he was a rookie and he made the playoffs and he played in the pro bowl. And I was like, this guy's a game manager. He can do it. And he just got worse and worse. And eventually you just have to give up and say, you know what? I was wrong. Mac Jones is not a starting QB, which I then thought again today.

as I watched him today. Mack Jones, not really a starting QB. Tua is not somebody that's going to win three playoff games in a row ever at any point in his career. There's no situation where that's going to happen. No, I even thought, well, maybe, first of all, it was 78 degrees in Houston.

I don't know why I thought they played it. It was 78 degrees. It's in like a Cowboys type dome where you can still feel the outside and see the sky, but whatever. So he's my number one. I know that's dumb to take him over somewhere. No, I like it. No, this is the, it's a passionate trap. My daughter's boyfriend, huge Dolphin fan, when we text all the time about Tua, and he vacillates between defending Tua, but then also getting mad when he has games like he had today. Yeah, it's like you're in school, brother. Yeah, I know.

My number one is this Hayner person that played for the Saints today who lasted about, I don't know, a half. And then they were like, you know what? Maybe Spencer Rattler is better than you. Like, I don't know how bad Spencer Rattler is that he lost the competition to Hayner, but Hayner was in there for a brief period.

I don't know what an hour and a half against Washington. Um, nothing, nothing was happening. And we, we knew a bunch of people that had Washington and teases, and it just seemed like you were in safe hands with Hainer.

Right. And Rattler comes in and it's worse for Hayner because it's like, oh, no, Rattler's in. Uh-oh. So I would have Hayner. I feel like that's another insurance ad that we'd be pounded with. You're in safe hands with Hayner. And then there he is throwing like, yeah, he had the headshots that got him the job. And then and then Rattler came in. Yeah, we could talk about the end of that game later. That was. Oh, my God. Well, it's so funny. Like first year at Grantland, we did the bad QB draft. We created this whole scoring system. Jacoby wrote a piece about it every week. He did all the scoring.

And the premise was like, there's just so many, this is the glory days of bad QBs. But you would think at some point it would get better and it just hasn't, you know, like three point shooting got better in basketball and in baseball, like,

pitchers throw faster and you know, there's more strikeouts like things change. And for whatever reason, quarterback play has not changed in football. It's a few reasons. Jacoby would get carpal tunnel syndrome trying to write that article in 2000. Oh my God. Who's your next pick? All right. Well, I, you know, these are going to be personal because I stupidly had Tennessee as my upset. Don't come on. Don't laugh at that. That's not nice. I'm just laughing because I knew who you were going to take.

I mean, why do I do it, though? I mean, at least you hadn't seen Hayner, right? At least there could have been a surprise in there. How much data do I have to see on Will Levis before I stop betting on him or betting on that team? And I now think of it now as like these teams like Cincinnati, if they want to look good, play a Will Levis. Like if I want to look good in a family photo, I'll stand next to my fattest relative, right?

This is what the Bengals did. They found the fattest relative as Will Levis. 10 turnovers in that game. Not all Will Levis, although it seemed like it. He's disgusting. He's gross. He's number two for me. Well, did you see Titans-Bengals today? It was the first game with 10 turnovers and 20 plus penalties since 2006. Wow.

18 years since we've had that kind of incompetence. And you could feel it if you had multiple TVs and that was one of the games. You could feel the incompetence. So he had three interceptions and a pick six.

as one of the three, which maybe we call the Levis from now on. He would have more. They took him out. They shouldn't have taken him out. They should have punished him further for that. Yeah, they should have explained to Brian Callahan the full DeLome and how important that is. What was that? Five picks, including a pick six, was the full DeLome. Yeah, go for the record. Yeah, he's...

He's bad, but that's one of those things where we knew he was bad last year. My fault. My fault. No, no. But I'm saying the Titans, they get rid of Rabel. They're bringing this new coach. The GM wins this power struggle because Will Levis is his guy, new coach, and now they need a QB. Congrats. Can I have Boyle and DeVito as a combo for my next pick? Sure. A dual entry? Sure. Yeah, you could have them. I could have them.

At one point they changed QBs and I just couldn't tell the difference on my, cause I had, they were on a TV that had no sound. I had no idea that DeVito even left a concussion. Impossible to say. DeVito does this after every play. He does the Italian, he does the figure. That's how you know the difference. All right. Who's your next one? All right. You have a dual entry there. No, those kind of. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine.

Some good ones. I'm going to, you know what? I know there's some like lesser experienced guys that I should probably go with Mac Jones. Just like when I had him on my board, of course, how could he not? And you know, I guess when you have coach middle seat, like everything's going to look bad anyway, but Mac Jones still making rookie mistakes. And I think we saw the same play. They were driving it.

It was like third and... No, it was like second and goal from the sixth. Right, right, right, right. And he rolled right, and he had time. He had like everybody beat. He wasn't going to make it to the end zone, but he did not have to step out of bounds. And he sure as hell did. He could have flung it into the third row, and it would have been fine. And it's like, oh, man, I have money on that guy too? This is awful. Why are they even playing the early games? Yeah, a little. I always bet against the Jets.

But no, you understand how bad it was because he was rolling out and he was four yards behind the line of scrimmage. Right.

And the guys were coming and he was going to do the Zach Wilson where he's just going to chuck it out of bounds. And instead he did like the stutter step out of bounds and then seemed like he talked shit to one of the defensive linemen. And it was just like, you lost four yards for literally no reason. There was no reason to lose four yards in that play that any of us could think of. But it's funny, like having watched him as he, I swear he was great.

really solid as a rookie. Does that scare you a little bit? Because you praise your guy, Drake Bay, and everything. It's not even... It's like comparing a Ferrari to like a Cherokee. Now, sure it is. Now. Drake Bay was always like an awesome SUV that you could go cross-country with and the stereo was going to work and...

You know, we always knew what he was, but it was like, can you be this awesome game manager and just kind of not make mistakes and be smart. But the stuff that he was doing today, it was all stuff he did the last two and a half years for the Pats. Just the inexplicable sailing it over somebody's head. The terrible red zone stuff, the just missing a wide open guy, the scramble out of bounds for no reason. Like it's just, it is who he is. Yep. Never going to change. And then the other thing I don't miss is the,

Either he throws the pick or a terrible pass and they see the defense is celebrating. And then you just know you're going to get the cut to Mac Jones just kind of stomping off. Yeah. I was getting PTSD watching it. That's how he was drafted. The same stomp. He doesn't change the stomp. He stomps down the... Yeah. All right. So that's mine. I do think some quarterbacks... Wentz was...

really good for Philly. And now, and then all of a sudden wasn't good. Right. Like Jameis was always up and down. He never had a moment where he seemed awesome, but our guy, Josh Freeman was awesome for like, yeah, that was never awesome, but it seemed like he was going to have at least a 10 year career and be Andy Dalton.

Yeah, how do certain guys figure it out and certain guys don't? It's just weird. And you wonder if they're practicing at all during the week. But go ahead. Well, I had Mack. Mack was on my board. But my next guy is Richardson on the Colts, who cannot complete 50% of his passes, which in the NFL in 2024, when...

You're not allowed to hit the quarterback. You're not allowed to hit receivers over the middle. You just have all these advantages all over the place to not even be able to complete half your passes. It's a real obstacle for them. And sometimes they can overcome it, especially in close games. Like they came back and beat the Pats, but against the Broncos, it was so bad.

to the worst play of the year. Yeah. Like if there was a worst play every year, like the ESPYs, like the worst play that what was that year when Jacoby Myers lateraled backwards and it got intercepted by the Raiders and scored like we were like, oh my God, I can't believe there was a pick six on a double pass that swung the Colts Broncos game. And this is a game where Jonathan Taylor dropped the ball before he ran into the end zone to celebrate. And somehow that wasn't the worst play of the game because this was worse. Yeah.

Yes. At one point, he was 8 for 22 with a few dozen yards passing in a close game where you needed him to convert a third down. He wasn't doing it. And you're exactly right. And Steichen has to take shit for this, but the double pass reverse thing

was a better option, even though there was probably a 30% chance that it was a pick six or a fumble, whatever the hell that was called. Have you ever seen that play before? Not really. No, I've never seen that. I think someone was probably supposed to be blocking that guy, but still, that was their best option. It's really bad. And it made me sad because Lombardi, who took this UNC job for Belichick,

And this is the kind of shit that he used to love. And it definitely would have been a big podcast thing for him. But now we're going to have to carry the slate that Shane Steichen has to call a double pass that gets picked off for a pick six because this quarterback can't complete an eight yard pass. I don't know what you do. It's looking like a really bad draft pick at this point. I feel horrible for the guy, but yeah. Today he was 17 for 38.

Yeah. And he made a comeback. Like I said, it was like, it was eight for 22 at some point. Yes. So that goal line thing, because you brought it up, what, what the hell's going on with that epidemic? It happened twice today where the guys are dropping balls, like a quarter of a yard before the goal line. Like, I don't know what the, what goes on. I had this coming up later, but I'm happy to discuss this now because.

Do people black out when they're about to score? It's the only thing I can think of. Is it like having an orgasm where you just kind of lose perspective and you're like, ah, you just like lose the ball. What other explanation could there be? Do you literally like black out?

Yeah. If there was a big end zone. Professional athletes. Right in front of you before you had the orgasm. Yes, it would be the same thing, but you should be able to figure out where not to drop. Like this doesn't happen in other sports. Like Juan Soto's not rounding third. And then when he's between third and home takes off for the dugout. I didn't mention Juan Soto because he's the greatest player of all time, but I

Maybe you'll get invited in his 22-person suite. Oh, that'd be nice. With the Coens. Yeah. That'd be nice. Yeah, just cross the goal line with a ball. Come on. But the thing is, it's not like this happens once every seven years. No. This happens like four times a year in college and pro football. Yeah. It feels like it happens once a month, right?

And I'm sure Jonathan Taylor was pointing and laughing at Deshaun Jackson or whoever the hell did it in college or anything, right? And then they ended up doing it themselves. Because the other thing that always drives us crazy is when the guy reaches to try to score near the goal line and the ball gets batted out or he fumbles it through the end zone. That's more understandable because it's like, all right, the guy's doing everything he can to try to score. This is just, it's a full-fledged blackout. Yeah.

All right, so I had Richardson, so you're up. There's some good ones left still. Oh, I'm up. Okay. All right, let's see. I could read you who's left on the board. Well, let me just go with Jameis. I love him, though, too. Damn, I really do love him. But I need to see... There's not the excitement. We're not getting to the top of the roller coaster anymore.

We just keep falling. You know what I mean? It's been really bad for two weeks now. Yeah. It's not that good. And, you know, he got sacked a bunch and threw four interceptions. But, of course, I had the Browns plus four and a half or five. But, yeah, you can't depend on him at all.

Yeah, Jameis is like, he's like s'mores. It's amazing to have s'mores once in a while. They're the greatest thing ever. But if you ate it every night, you would just get diabetes and eventually die. Jameis is super fun. Toast Jameis and marshmallows. Let's get a fire. Oh, put it in the... We should have had house for this. A dessert version of ranking the bad quarterbacks. Krispy Kreme donuts, s'mores.

It's true. The Mike and I don't know. I guarantee Chang's having a great time. Listen to this. James has 13 touchdowns and 12 picks this season, which I mentioned because he didn't play for the first half of the season. He's like seven, six games, right? He's got a lot of work to do to get to 30, 30. Yeah. Um, well, there's still some good guys left. I, uh,

I'm going to go Rattler just because the fact that his coach decided at some point this week, yeah, let's try Hainer. Just to me, that's like, that's got to be on Rattler's resume. He was actually pretty good in the comeback today against Washington, but I'll go Rattler. All right, you take in

We have three left. Give me a choice. We have Bryce Young's left. Can I go with Howell? We just saw Howell. I can't stand Sam Howell. Mike, I got to get out of here and go Christmas shopping. I got to go get Jack of Cuisinart. I can't watch this idiot. I actually forgot how Sam Howell's unique trait of just standing in the pocket has slowly collapsed on him like a building. Right.

He did it four times in the game. Like he never veers out. He's a statue ask really good. I'll put him on the list because he, um, that was maybe a game they could have played back into teaser territory, but not because not while he was in for sure. I have a, I'll take Bryce young next just because he looked good at the start of the game.

for like, I don't know, one pass. And I wrote down, cause Stroud was already like kind of struggling in the Houston game. And I wrote down, we got to talk about could Stroud versus Bryce be an argument again. And then Bryce was preceded at four pats. I might've said that on a podcast too. Yeah. That was, um,

Yeah. Against your team. Not exactly the 85 Bears. I'll tell you, I was a little depressed, even though I'm out on my team. When we did guess the lines, it was like one and a half. Then it went to two and a half. I'm like, this team hasn't been favored in 34 games. And now my crap-ass Cowboys team catches the two and a half points. But they...

They stood up, man. I think they got pissed off by that. I really do. That was their best complete game since I look back since I think the first time they beat the Bills in the Super Bowl, 52-17. This was the, after that, the best game they've played. All right. So I guess I have to take Cooper Rush and then you could have the last, you could have the last pick and take Washed Rogers if you want.

Yeah, I'll take him. Although, like I said, this is the fat family member to stand next to. You play a team bad enough, then you're going to look good. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Life's always changing. One season you're trying to break personal records and the next you're just looking for a solid routine. Peloton.

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What would you like the power to do? Explore tips and more at bankofamerica.com slash yes and. Bosh Rogers is always there. That Jets-Jaguars game, I thought was an absolute delight between some of the quarterback moments, some of the game management, and then the Jets-

who really all they had to do was kneel, do something, and they just could have kicked a field goal and the Jaguars would have the ball back with 10 seconds left. And instead, the Jets charge it and score. What's that coach's name? Ulbrich? The guy who's going to get fired when the season ends. They can't interview Bill Belichick or Mike Vrabel, apparently, even though the season's not over. And then all of a sudden, it seems like Jacksonville can come back down.

And it was just one of the dumber things. It kind of got under the radar because it was two terrible teams. Who cares? They're both 3-10. But it was just kind of stunning. Nobody does shit like that anymore. The Jets are like, look, are you sure you want to lose this game at home in front of these fans? We'll give it to you. We're giving you a chance here. Yeah. The fact that Belichick met with them earlier in the year is just... I mean, I do believe it. I do believe it.

You hate that. You hate that there's even a 3% chance that that's true. There's three scenarios. One is the Jets are full of shit and leaking this and it's not true because they hate Belichick and want to make him look bad. Right. The second scenario is that he kicked the tires with them. Yeah.

Not because he wanted to work with them, but because he wanted to gauge interest just in general, what the league interest was in him. And then the third door is that he actually wanted to work for them, which I will never believe for the rest of my life, that Bill Belichick, a guy who hated the Jets...

hated them every time the Patriots played them would try to pour it on and embarrass them in games like despise them then got his 12 media gigs this year and lob shots at the Jets the entire season and Woody Johnson like can't stand them and now he wants to work for them I'm just my shit detector is going off left and right he clearly they they all these different people reported it including our guy Schrager so I something happened but I don't I don't

I don't know what it was. It almost feels like when the Turk and the Godfather is like, hey, let's meet Luca Brasi. We'll try to bring him over. And then all of a sudden, Luca's getting like the fork stabbed in his hand on the table and they're like strangling him. I wonder, like, is Belichick trying to pull a move on the Jets? Interesting. I don't know. I just don't think he would ever work for them. I just don't believe it. No, but I know. But he's not the most righteous dude in the world. I think your second scenario is pretty bizarre.

It could happen. Like he kicked the tires. You don't think he'd take a call from Woody Johnson as much as he hated them? It really depends on how much he wanted to break this record. Would you take a call from Aaron Rodgers' media company? Hey, we want to hire you, Sal. Yeah, would you work for Aaron Rodgers? Um...

Actually, I have something to talk to you about, Bill. Yeah. I know it's going to sound weird. Yeah. Aaron, you know, he's misunderstood. I just don't believe it. I honestly think Bill Belichick would rather retire than work for the Jets. I don't believe it. And also, they don't have a quarterback. If he was going to be in the NFL, it would be to try to break the Shula record. He's like, good luck on that team. I just don't believe it.

So I don't know why they had communications, but I don't think he was like, man, I hope I get this awesome Jets job. They haven't made the playoffs since 2012. Well, they should just ask him. He'll tell the truth. I think this worked out great for him. This North Carolina thing. I know I did a pod on it the other day. The more I read and listen here, everybody like this is amazing.

He has this, he was already the greatest NFL coach ever. Now he could have this last act in North Carolina and like kick ass for them. It's cool. Everybody loves him there already.

Yeah, I mean, and he really pivoted because he made everyone think he wanted to go for the record for most wins in the NFL. But as it turns out, he wants to go for the most losses all time in college football. And that's why he's with Caron. No, I think it's a good move. I think he did everything right. And I think you probably said it about like doing all the media for a year. He's loose.

He still gets it. He's still in tune with the football. Even the girlfriend, I get it. I'm sure they're madly in love, but it really does show that he could wrangle and relate to younger people. This is going to work. I think it's going to work. And so what? The team was 6-4, and they lost that last two in a conference where the team that won the conference is like the 12th seed in the NCAA. He could turn it around. It's not impossible.

Well, it's also not like Jim Harbaugh going to Michigan and having to build the whole thing and recruit people. College football now, you're just basically buying a team. Right. And you're just trying to outmaneuver people and steal people. Well, he's going to recruit 35 guys. And so eight of them have to hit versus NFL, where you can only draft seven dudes and four of them have to hit. I think the odds are in his favor for sure. No rules is good for him. All right. The big game today was Detroit Buffalo.

who are basically the same team. I realized as I was watching, I know, I know Buffalo one, but need the lead explosive offense, unstoppable and can't get stops. Right. So it's kind of like whoever is up 10, nothing. It's the game's over. And in this game, for whatever reason, Buffalo took the early lead and then Detroit's playing catch up after that. But it's a, it's a recipe that usually does not work to actually win the title.

Yeah. Point. Like even I read this that here's a good stat for you. So Buffalo scored 30 plus in eight games in a row. Right. Pretty hard to do. The other teams have done that. The 2000 Rams, 2007 Pats, 2010 Pats and the 2013 Broncos. Zero Super Bowls with those teams. Wow.

So they'd be, you know, they always have a chance to break the trim. But I just feel like we've seen teams like this that are awesome offensively with an awesome player. But if you can't get stops at some point, that's killing you.

It's so funny because the reverse that I saw was that the Chiefs have not scored 31 points this year. And they compared it to other teams who have not scored 31. And they'll have two wins, three wins, four wins. Like they're all junk. And through the years, they've all been junk. So yeah, there should be a happy medium. But yeah, I mean, that's my Super Bowl, Detroit-Buffalo. It wasn't good. I wish that game was... It was entertaining, but it just wasn't good. I never thought the Lions...

could come back. I mean, I know people get on Campbell for onside kicking there, but the Lions gave up 8.2 yards per play. They kind of had to do something at some point. Now, can we argue about this? Because it was terrible. Let's do it. It's a terrible decision. It's terrible because if it was a sneak onside kick with the old rules, I'm all for it. I get it.

You have to announce it's an onside kick. So it's basically, it's like, you say it low, just say really low. So they kind of can't. Yeah. Yeah. What is it like 6%, 7%, something like that? I know. So that's one out of every 12 converts their defense. So they're basically saying their defense can't stop Buffalo's offense. 11 out of 12 times.

And that an outside kick is better option than that. There's no way you could tip a pass. There's all different ways to stop an offense. 11 out of 12, eight yards of play. It's kind of the same thing, right? And you probably look up and down. Nobody gets onside kicks. We've seen like one recovered the whole year. It's like, you might as well freaking buy a lottery ticket. I mean, it's like,

Allen was jogging for first downs. I mean, he must've looked up and down the roster. So our Carlton Davis was hurt. Dorsey was carted off McNeil that the injury got worse and worse. So I get it. He's too, he is too aggressive in general, but that was too aggressive. Yeah. If you're just doing percentages, it's no contest your defense. You could, they could fumble a shotgun snap. They could drop a pass, like all kinds of things could happen on side kick. You need like, it's basically a miracle. Um, so Detroit, um,

The reason I picked them and lost was I thought they were going to run the ball down Buffalo's throat. And I don't know why I wouldn't have thought that because Buffalo can't stop the run. Detroit's great at it. Detroit, 15 carries for 48 yards. Yeah. Goff ends up throwing 59 times for 494 and five TDs. But the team that ran the ball down somebody's throat was Buffalo. And they ran for almost 200 yards, including Allen. They ran for four TDs, 28 first downs, 559 yards.

And this is what, you know, I get it. If you're picking this, if you're picking Buffalo in this game, you're saying Detroit's defense cannot handle Josh Allen. And that turned out to be the correct answer. Yeah. But it's also screwed up. I know what you're saying. Like got through five touchdowns and he had five interceptions against, was it the Texans? And then you won that game, but lost this game. The season's kind of screwy. It really is. Well, how about this? Buffalo in the last two weeks, uh,

has given up 86 points over a thousand yards and 53 first downs in the last two weeks. Like

I know the Josh Allen thing is super fun, but this is not how you win Super Bowls. And somebody's going to get them at some point. Unless he... He would have to be superhuman in a way very few guys in the history of the league have just thrown a team on their back, I think, to win with the defense he has. But Detroit's defense is worse. And they lost three more guys today. They lost McNeil. McNeil might be out for the year. So it's never been a better spot, I don't think, for...

for this Eagles team that everyone gave up on, including me three months ago. Yeah, I'm trying to think. The one seed is a little... I saw 43% for Detroit, 34% for the Eagles, and yet Minnesota controls their own destiny. They have tough games, but if they win all three, or I guess four now, they still have to play tomorrow, then they get the one seed. Because they got Detroit last week of the season. Right.

And a game that we had thought for weeks and weeks, that would be the game where Detroit rested everybody and Minnesota is going to be favored by 11 and a half. That's not happening. Yeah. Here's the bad news for Detroit. This is another stat I read. No team has ever allowed 45 points in a home game and then won the Super Bowl. Wow. So they did that today. Your Patriots never did that? No, apparently not. Bill Belichick's defense? No.

It sucks for them because if this was the 1950s and we played a 12 game schedule, they would be in dynamite shape. That's true. Well, on the positives for Buffalo, there's some, a mini, he's not good enough to be a Ewing Theory guy, but there's a little mini Ewing Theory case for Stefan Diggs now. They lose him and they're more exciting, more fun. Josh is having the best year ever. They beat Casey and they beat Detroit. That's good. That's good news.

I think the big thing for me, though, is we I would have said eight weeks ago who was going to finish the season is the most exciting guy in the league. And Lamar would have been like a minus 1000 favorite like Lamar. We talked about on this pod like Lamar almost had to be on a multi-view screen because he's so exciting. And Josh kind of leapfrogged him. It feels like right. He's the most exciting guy in the league down. I don't think Lamar even got less exciting. But the shit Josh is doing.

it's like watching a senior in high school playing like the freshman team. Yeah. And he's just like, I'm going to fuck around. I'm trying to impress this girl in the stands. I'm just going to do some stuff. Yeah. And just like demolishing them.

Even the flip passes on third down that just have to get over the line. Like he's just doing, like I said, he's like jogging out of bounds for seven yards. And then maybe it was mostly because it's a lot. I think what we learned from the bills as bad as the defenses and everything, they are a tough out. They're really, they're never, we saw that with the Rams, right? The Rams had them dead to rights. They didn't belong in that game at all. They're a tough out. And when they get up,

they're going to get up too much and it's going to be hard to come back on him. So it might just be enough, by the way, that MVP run, you know, it should be an SB probably for multi-view player of the year, but that MVP is over. I don't know if in reality, Saquon ever had a chance, but he's minus 900 now, Josh Allen, it's, it's over. Yeah. Well, the thing with Josh, I was thinking about, I was thinking about like the great quarterback seasons and,

So since we were in college, 1989, only six quarterbacks have won MVP in Super Bowl in the same season, unless I miss somebody. Mahomes was the last one in 22. Manning did it in 06. Oh, Manning didn't do it in 06 because Tomlinson won, so he's out. Kurt Warner, Favre, Steve Young in 94, and Montana in 89.

And your guy didn't win. Brady never did it. My guy never had the MVP, but then also one that like he, he wanted to know seven and 17, but didn't, they didn't win the title those years. So, but then there's this different title.

When somebody has a season like the one he's having that it's just like a memorable season. Like Rogers had that awesome 2011 season, but then the giants beat him in the playoffs. But that whole regular season is incredible. Cam had that awesome 2015 season. You know, Brady had that awesome. Oh, seven season. That was like iconic. And then they lost anyway. And I wonder which camp is Alan going to be. And if I had to bet, I would probably bet he's going to be in that Brady. Oh, seven side. Like it's,

incredible, memorable, unbelievable season, but it wasn't good enough to win the Super Bowl. So, but how many teams could beat him? Like, you know, like,

I don't know. They already beat... I know they never count the Chiefs out. Now with Mahomes, it might get sketchy anyway. But who stops them in the AFC? You think like Lamar? Like heads up? I think it's a team that outscores them and gets the lead on them first and makes them play from behind, basically. It's not easy. I think that's how it would have to do. That's how it would have to happen. But the best teams are in the NFC. Mm-hmm.

But yeah, you're right. This could be a year. It would be great. Did you pick them to win or you picked them to make? I picked them to win. I picked them to beat the Lions. That'd be amazing for you. Yeah. Tone for a lot of, a lot of sins of predictions you made in August. In August. I thought we did well. No, you're right. Yeah. I had enough of the Browns and the Raiders and just shitty teams like that. You learn though. You learn, you learn. I'm still betting Will Levis. I learned a lot. Yeah. Well, that wasn't your fault. Uh,

But yeah, I mean, the fun thing about Buffalo is that it's just super fun. But, you know, the Jim Kelly teams are also super fun. So at some point we'll see if this can translate. But the thing that's been so cool about it is just it was like this thing. I remember I talked about it after Bill Walton died when I went to see him and he was talking about Larry Bird and he was talking about

when this last level, when it's like not just the performance, but the artistry of the performance and how you resonate with the crowd. Like it feels like Alan's gone to another level with some of this stuff. Like he's just so great to watch on some of these plays. Like my wife was sitting down with me for like a quarter and she's just like, that guy's amazing. Is he the best guy in the league? I'm like, yeah, he actually is. Yeah. Yeah. Good call. But he's just like, he just jumps out of the TV now. But imagine what her reaction would be

If she had watched the 10 a.m., the 1 p.m. games out here and then watch Josh Allen. Oh, my God, this side doesn't belong in the league or those guys don't want one or the other because they're playing a different brand of football. Well, and for anybody who would say, no, he's been like this for a few years. He hasn't because he made turnover. He had a shitload of turnovers last year. He doesn't turn the ball over anymore. His decision making is just way better this year. Yeah. Haley Steinfeld.

Maybe that was it. He's got it all. Next game was Philly-Pittsburgh, which I stayed at the craps table one hand too long or one shoot too long with Pittsburgh. They were great to me this year. Pickens not playing. I like the under. The case for them was low scoring game, you know, rock fight, 16, 14, 20.

But what I didn't surprise was Philly moved the ball on them. Like they had some long ass drives and walk gets hurt at the end. That was a bad boss for Pittsburgh. I thought really bad. And they only had two drives in the second half, if I'm not mistaken, I look it up and yeah, I think they just walked into a situation where Philadelphia, you know, first of all, the AJ Brown thing, the squeaky wheel,

AJ Brown figured it out. Yeah. If I'm Jahan Dodson, the third string wide receiver, I'm complaining all week. Talk about how he and Jalen Hurts relationship has changed over the last two months. You'll see your targets will go up, but yeah. And Barkley didn't even have that great a game, but he left, he was gone for the whole second quarter. Yeah. I like the Eagles, but I, I still don't understand. I, I based it on Russ and I'm like,

this guy's got to have a bad game. He really didn't have that terrible game. He really didn't. They just never really, I don't know. I know time possession will indicate this, but the drives were great for Philadelphia. They didn't, they didn't squander any opportunities. Did the ball for 40 minutes. Yeah. Did 26 first downs. They were 10 for 17 on third down. And the case for Pittsburgh in this game was their defense is going to be able to stand up to Philly. And they, they just didn't. With that said,

The rookie fumbles the punt for Philly. Pittsburgh gets the ball. All of a sudden, they're on like the three yard line. And then that in this goofy penalty happens where the guy keeps blocking after the whistle.

Right. There's no more devastating penalty than the we're about to score. Oh, 15 yards. Now we're on the 18. It's a it's a fucking gut punch. Yeah. So they they squander that. And then Najee fumbles when they're driving again. They have this great drive going and he just fumbles a pitch. And it really came down to that.

to those two plays. I didn't feel like they were that far away from them, but Philly played better, obviously. Yeah, they have trouble there, too. I think they lost the last nine or the last nine against the spread in Philadelphia. So I kind of liked everything. I took that. That was a win for me. I took them adjusted nine and a half Philly, which was...

Oh, nice. Because Tomlin as an underdog is usually good. But I just figured. And so now they're locked in as a three pretty much. I know we're going to play the few. Although the Ravens is a big one now. We have the Ravens to win the division. We're back in it a little bit.

I, in the back, back, back of my head, I was a little worried about the games today just because of how weird this stretches. We talked about in the ringer Sunday pregame where these teams play today, then Saturday, then Wednesday, there's four times. Right. And it's just, I don't, neither of us are going to understand just what the mentality is of to be ready, but no, you also have to be ready two more times over the next week and a half, basically. So I don't know. They didn't seem like Pittsburgh today.

No, for sure. Yeah. Maybe I think you're right with this weird 10 day stretch. Maybe we do like I do in the NBA where you take both teams minus nine and a half. I don't know what the equivalent of football, but it's not. It should be. We should have known this week was going to be weird with the crap fast Thursday game, San Francisco and the Rams. That was so bad, too. Is there an MVP case for George Pickens?

I saw you say that. Maybe. That should be a separate award, right? What would you call it? He's like the secret MVP. When they don't have George Pickens, they just don't get three explosive plays a game. Right. I do think, I made a mental note watching the games today, that just for the Super Bowl, you need to be able to run the ball

And you need like three explosive plays a game. And if you can't do that, I think you're like an automatic cross off. Yeah. I mean, it's like they're only yeah. Eagles, the Eagles. This episode is brought to you by the all new reimagined Nissan kicks from the bold new exterior to the performance and tech features like intelligent all wheel drive and a Bose personal plus sound system cars where I live. I live in the Los Angeles area and cars.

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enhance traction in all conditions, always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Can do it. That's, you know, and obviously Buffalo can too. Tampa Chargers, which I wisely stayed away from. Tampa drops 40 on the Chargers. Yeah. Very weird because it seemed like Baker was going to have a reckless type of game, right? And then he just righted the ship. I feel like Herbert, you know, he was really only like,

Only like Thursday where he came off the injured list. He did not look good at all. Yeah, he wasn't throwing with force. Mike Evans had a two-touchdown game, which is fantasy playoffs. Of course, he was going to do that. Right. And then Cardinals-Pats, that was another West Lake gamer. Mm-hmm.

There might be a mutiny with the Pats fans soon. The coaching is so bad. It's indescribable. I just can't believe it. And then the coach comes after the game. We have Drake May third and one, fourth and one, like the key sequence of the game. And they don't sneak with him either time. And another time they had him in the shotgun on fourth and one. It's like this guy's almost 6'6".

Right. Pretty sure we can QB sneak them. I know we can't block, but maybe take them. So they don't, they get stuffed and that, that flips the game. And someone asked Mayo about it after. And he's basically like, yeah, I don't know what we were doing. Like it was literally like he just threw the OC under the bus. Then they asked Drake May about it, who seems to be the only person on the team who's devastated after every loss. Good. It's like crestfallen on the sidelines. And they

They talked to him after and somebody asked him like, why don't they ever sneak in? He's like, honestly, I don't know. I'm almost, I'm six, five. Like it's a play that's worked my whole career. I don't know why we don't. Do you think they're afraid of the, well, they're afraid of the result because what were you like 130% conversion on fourth down with Belichick and Brady? Brady had got stepped, I think twice out of 1200 plays. Yeah. Right. So maybe that's the thing. I'm exaggerating, but.

No, maybe not. Look back. Listen, I have you right where I want you. I want you to be infatuated with this Drake May because otherwise you get sidetracked and we talk about the NBA Cup and pretend that it's great for 15 minutes every Sunday. I love it. He's unbelievable. For three quarters, they just hand off and have him throw bubble screens and do nothing that he's really great at. And then they'll fall behind by 20. And then all of a sudden it's like, hey,

You should throw him down, wing it downfield. And then he's like perfect 40 yard pass. And you should roll out. It's like, oh, he does that. Like, it's like you just did that the whole game. Play. Right. I don't understand why they don't play with tempo. It's super frustrating. We have two good players because Gonzalez like completely shut down Harrison. Yeah. Shut him down. They went to him multiple times. Shut him down. I didn't think it was a great win for the Cardinals because it actually felt like the game was a little closer. It's weird. We thought. I think they're the only team with seven wins, right? Or does Seattle have?

I think they're the only ones. Seattle is eight. Oh, yeah, you're right. Arizona is the only seven-win team. But we should talk about that because Seattle loses. And now we have the Rams are in the three spot. And Seattle is now out of the playoffs, which we were talking this morning. I have Seattle division, Seattle to make the playoffs, Seattle over. All that's a mess to play. I thought Seattle was going to beat Green Bay.

And was very bullish on Seattle. And I've liked Green Bay the whole year, but I just thought this was a Seattle week. And Green Bay finally played the game that I felt like they could play the whole year. And of course, I had the other side. They were great. They were excellent. And I just think we have to look at Josh Jacobs for these next few weeks. Like we look at Barkley and we look at Henry.

Like he's just going to take control of games. I really do. I don't know what happened. I don't know what kicked into gear. I mean, he's been good all year, but this is a, he was special. The first two drives today, he looked like Terrell Davis. Yeah. That said they're plus one 80. I mean, the Rams didn't impress me at all Thursday night. I know it was in the rain and everything, but I feel like 49ers dropped seven balls on offense and defense.

One of them catch. It's a different story. Guys quitting on the sidelines during the game. Yeah. Yeah. That's all kinds of stuff happening. Plus 180, though, for Seattle. I know you're down on them right now and you have enough on it, but I could see them making their way back. Well, Geno got hurt. What happened to Geno? Right. That's true. We have to see. I know it was a knee injury. So, yeah. Mr. Howell's not taking him anywhere. I got to say, I was really disappointed in Seattle.

They'd kind of wrote me in thinking their defense was good. And then Jacob's really big boy to my thought. And they gave up some big plays. They had a couple of bad pass interferences. They just played like shit. It's a Sunday night game at home. You're underdogs.

You need the game because the Rams miraculously beat Buffalo and beat the Niners in a five-day span, which the odds of that were probably 7-1. Right. So then they have the Rams sitting there at 8-6, and they can't believe it probably. Mm-hmm. They're like, A, how are we 8-6? B, how are we leading a division? Yeah.

Yeah, what did they, that game was disgusting. That Cooper Cup with a massive middle finger to fantasy owners. I mean, no catches, like an Andre the Giant size middle finger. And they still won that game. Yeah, so the Rams, they lost to Miami by eight. They barely beat the Pats. And they lost to Philly by 23. They lost to Philly 37 to 14 in week 12. And at that point, they were five and six.

With Buffalo and San Francisco...

and Seattle in week 18, Arizona week 17. They beat New Orleans, which was a little closer than, it was 21-14. That game was actually kind of close. Beat Buffalo, beat San Francisco. Now they're playing Washed Rogers at the Jets next week. Yeah. And have a legitimate chance now for like 11 wins. It's fucking crazy. Well, they end with the two teams in their division, right? I do think this is the one division that'll come down to week 18. They're home against Seattle on January 5th.

Arizona is not good. And it wasn't just the couple of ways the Pat screwed up today. Kyler had his terrible Kyler pass that he does once a game. And he throws it right after we got stuffed on third and one and fourth and one. Right. Kyler throws this jump pass and gets drilled as he's throwing it. We intercept that we're on like they're 15.

And they call a roughing the passer. Right. The guy's jumping up in the air to block the pass and then and then kind of just hits Kyler because he's trying to block it. Yeah, it was ridiculous. That pass was so bad, too. That was the worst of the day. And because he got sandwiched. Meanwhile, the guy from behind didn't really get him at all. There was nothing illegal or nothing, you know, even close. But from the front, it looked worse than it was.

Some of these pass the roughing the passers are like Justin Fields got one. It's like, I don't know. There's been some really bad ones. They're like, oh, well, they hit him high. It's like, yeah, because he went low at the very last second. Otherwise, that's not high. So the cards are seven and seven. And yet they I know they didn't barely beat the Pats by the score, but I swear the Pats were weirdly in that game. They lose to Seattle twice in three weeks. And then we see Seattle just get the tar kicked out of them tonight.

So I'm going to be selling on Arizona. You're selling Arizonas? You don't like them 7-1 for the division? No, I don't. So right now our playoff matchups. AFC, Buffalo home for the Chargers. It's kind of fun. I don't know in a million years how the Chargers could keep up with Buffalo points. They could probably play out like the Tampa game today. Pittsburgh home for Denver.

We didn't talk about that Denver game enough because Denver was super lucky. I'm sure, like, Knicks was terrible. Knicks had three picks, you know, and we talked about all the Colts stuff. But Denver's going to be probably a six seed against Pittsburgh. Or Baltimore, hopefully, but maybe Pittsburgh. Right, a Baltimore could pass them. And then Houston-Baltimore would be the 4-5 unless Pittsburgh and Baltimore flip. So Pittsburgh-Denver looks incredibly shaky to me.

Oh, no, no, no, no. They always. Oh, yeah, you're right. Because if Baltimore falls in that four or five, they may not give it. They're not putting Lamar in the Shakey's game. He's too good. Right. And then so what's the maybe you put Lamar on the Sunday, this early Sunday game? Yeah. Yeah. That would be that where that goes. So then the other NFC South gets the Shakey's game where you really think Pittsburgh in the Shakey's.

So the NFC is would be right now Philly versus Washington. Solid Rams versus Green Bay. Excellent. And then Tampa, Minnesota, which I think is a good game. Oh, yeah, you're right. That can't be the shakiest game. No, I know. You're right. And then the interesting one is I think Amazon's getting the Saturday night game, which is usually like the best game.

I don't know what that is with those six matchups. It's probably Rams-Green Bay, I would think, in LA. They like a cold one, though. Last year it was the Chiefs, right? It could be Buffalo. They might do Buffalo there. So Chargers at Buffalo, Harbaugh goes to Buffalo? Maybe. Yeah, that's good enough. They got enough to talk about there. Chargers will actually have fans more than they did today. It'll be interesting. The Rams have Jets on the road, Arizona and Seattle at home.

Seattle is Minnesota at home, Chicago and the Rams on the road. Well, you're right. If Gino Smith's iffy, they don't have a chance. It is weird. He should be better at home, though. We went over stats on the pregame show. The 12th man does nothing for him. I think I hit everything.

We didn't talk about Dan Quinn screwing up that Washington game and screwing up everybody's teases. I guess that was the last thing we didn't hit. Is the referee's name Dan Quinn? I mean, I know it was... That was... Look, I'm not saying...

the league got in their ears because everybody had Washington on a teaser and they needed to screw everyone over. But the ref stopped the clock. Sorry, fast forwarding to 20 to 13. Rattler to Foster Moreau, nine seconds left, clearly inbounds. And the ref stopped the clock for no reason. Yeah. And then they score with three seconds left and then they go for two, which would have killed Moneyline parlays, but it was enough at 20 to 19 to kill the...

minus seven and a half switch went to one and a half that was bizarre and then they taught they they said they screwed it up after the game and they're like but we can't review that we're not allowed to review that so they can make the most the worst error you can imagine that everybody could see and agree to it right then but they can't change it so you don't think they could have spiked it in time because i actually think they could have spiked it with like a second left

Maybe. He could tackle like nine seconds left. But yeah, it was incredible that the clock, there's literally no reason for the clock to stop. Yeah. But then Quinn, they're up seven with the ball and it looks like they're running out the clock. McLaurin drops the touchdown or it sailed. I forget whose fault that was. I guess Daniel sailed it on him a little. And it looked like that was going to be, and now all of a sudden they kick a field goal. God misses it. Now freaking Spencer Rattler.

He's coming back down and all of a sudden, House is his last sentence. Poor House, I know. But listen, for us, we have to be looking forward to, we have to zone in on who's the team we want to root against in the playoffs or bet against in the playoffs. This Washington team's got all the makings, I think. They haven't played a game that's impressed me in like two months. Right.

You know? I mean, and you think like they had a couple wins there that they shouldn't have won. They could probably be three wins lighter, right? What's their record now? They're nine and five. They could easily be six and eight. Well, the Hail Mary game. There was that other stupid game. Yeah. And then this game. Yeah. Um, let's do guest lines. Yeah. We didn't, uh,

Yeah, I guess we didn't talk Mahomes getting hurt, but that's about it. Oh, let's do that quick. He's definitely not playing this Saturday, right? No question. I just feel like the holiday season hasn't officially started until Mahomes has some sort of injury. Is that right? Yeah, he's got to start limping around. That's how he gets ready for the playoffs. It's like how a bear needs to sleep during the winter. Same thing. He needs some sort of limp, and then he's fine. Yeah, but that said, not playing Saturday.

And for sure playing, oh, because they need him on Christmas. He has to play Christmas. Netflix spent way too much money on that game, right? You don't think Netflix throws him in a plane and gets him to Germany for all kinds of stuff to pump into his ankles? He's playing that game. That's what I'm saying. But not this week. And that's why, yeah, I mean, Netflix offered Jackson Mahomes a stand-up special. They offered, they'll do whatever they can to get him there.

The wife could be in squid game three, whatever, whatever they want. He's playing in that game. No question. Well, I agree with you because I, I guess my tech, my Texans game, assuming he wasn't going to play. Yeah. Cause yeah,

I think if it's a choice, you want to just wait. You can't play him in both if he's got a bad wheel. Well, because they're two up on Buffalo, right? One and a half, technically, because they lose the tiebreaker. So be it if they lose the one game, but then there'll be two left. There'll be a half game up. Also, if I'm them, I'm fine. Oh, no, we're the two seed. We have to play the Chargers who can barely get to 20 points. Guess the lines. We have games Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and then Wednesday.

This is an official don't get divorced stretch. It's tough, man. Especially with the holidays. Yeah, they're really, really trying to fuck with our marriages now. They don't make it easy. Yep. And speaking of fucking, you're fucking tied with me right now. It's 7-7. I know. I know. 7-7-1, week 16. You haven't beaten me since 1932. Stop it. Before then. I was off on a few, but we'll see. Let's see.

I hit this one exactly, though. I know you're going to think that's bullshit, but I did hit the Thursday night one. Guess the lines Thursday night. Chargers home for the Denver Broncos. And I made the line Chargers by three. Yep. All right. We split that one. It is three. Yeah. And that's what it was today. Does that make sense? Let's think about this. It was three against Tampa. Denver is equal to Tampa, even though the Chargers got slaughtered. I think Tampa's a little better than Denver, right?

Tampa's better, but keep the three because Tampa's better. All right, yeah. That's fine. A lot of Broncos fans. You know, speaking of Tampa, that NFC South bet, which is one of the only futures I really truly care about because we made such a big deal about it. Yeah. NFC under 30 wins. Where are you? Well, I'll tell you that Tampa win didn't, I didn't love it, but we are right now at 22 wins with three weeks left.

So it's like, and teams play each other. So I feel like I've clinched it. NFC East is at 29 wins. There's seven wins higher. This was one of our big bets before the year. It was the NFC. We made FanDuel create this prop. NFC East, more wins than the NFC South. And it was minus 175. And now we're going to bankrupt FanDuel as a result. And you could thank my Cowboys for beating the Panthers. It could thank, that's one step closer. That was big. That really helped us. Because it's a big day. Yep.

Two Saturday games. Yep. Chiefs, Texans in KC. And neither of us think Mahomes is playing. And I'm going to make Houston the favorite. I'm going to say Houston by one and a half. All right. I said two. It is two and a half. Edge out there. You'll get this next one. Texans two. I wonder how many times the Chiefs have been home dogs. Week 18. Yeah. He can't play. No way.

Andy Reid moved one win closer to Belichick, by the way. Where is he now? He is at, hold on, let me get it. He is 271. He's 31 away. And he's five playoff wins behind him, too. Somehow the NFL, yeah, the NFL will give him the record this year. But yeah, you've done enough. It's fine. Please catch Belichick. Please catch Belichick. We've decided to tamper with your salary cap space so you have more money to spend.

Okay. The other Saturday game, Ravens Steelers, which I think I would have had Ravens by two and a half as recently as like three weeks ago. But I got to say Ravens by four. Oh, man, you got me. I thought you were going to go lower now. I said three and a half. It's six and a half. So I think we could hedge a little.

With our Ravens? Yeah. I mean, we could cover this. We won't win both, but we could take six and a half, right? And they can win an 18-16 game like they played in November. Well, tell the audience, what was our bet? It was division champs, Chiefs, Ravens, Bills?

Chiefs, Ravens, Bills, Texans. Yeah, we did the whole AFC. Did we do that before the season or like week one? No, we saw like a month of action. They were like, this is stupid. We got it. It literally was stupid because we're losing. Yeah, it is. It's always stupid. Yeah, I think the Steelers are going to be, even if they have pickings, it's not going to be 100% pickings. But that's a lot of points to lay in a second time they've played AFC North Raven Steelers game.

It is a lot. I wonder what they, they're just predicting like they're going to melt down at this point. Like they, you know, all right.

Tomlin has them over 500 like he always does. And now we see them slip to the 60 to whatever. I was texting with the fantasy guys because Craig's a big Steelers fan during that game. And it was like Steelers bingo. It was hitting all the check marks of dumb penalty to pull them out of a touchdown. And TJ Watts hurt. It hit like nine of the check marks. Yeah. Yeah. The stupid fumble Sunday marquee game.

I think it's Eagles-Washington, right? Isn't that our best Sunday game? We need to go Vikings-Seahawks. You would have said Seattle probably before tonight. Yeah, I think it's Eagles-Washington. Yeah, I think you're right. Eagles going for 11 in a row. Second time they played. Their games are always weird. And it's in Washington. So I'm going to say Eagles by three and a half. Oh, man. Really? I said five. You got it exactly. It's three and a half. Why not five?

Because these two teams play weird games. I think that's the only reason. 26-18, the last game, I was in Philly. Yeah. I guess. I'm down on Washington. I don't know why. I think you should be. I think they're a little smoke and mirrors those first six weeks. Daniels hasn't been...

Daniel says not been the same since he got hurt whenever that, whatever week that was like, you know, he was like lasers to everybody. The first five weeks. Sure. They never punted. Yeah. And they were a two point conversion away from the terrible team, uh, losing today. So I only have two watchable games and part of it is cause we have two Saturday games that pulled two good ones out. But,

There's only two good games on, on, and these aren't even that good. One of them is Vikings at Seattle, which I, that's it for Seattle. I think if they lose and the Vikings are definitely going to be favored. I have the Vikings, uh, by three. I got this exactly three and a half. Hmm. And, um,

I mean, it's going to be more if there's no Gino Smith, but right. It seems like he's playing right. Somehow against the Vikings defense would not make me feel good. No. So then the other one I have for a watchable, you're going to laugh, but Jags Raiders in Vegas. Really? All kinds of draft pick ramifications in this. Not that I mean, does anyone even care past Sanders? And no, people are going to care where Hunter gets drafted. Sure.

Will people care where the Boise State running back gets drafted? John, they, no, I don't, I don't think so. I think he'll just become like a great running back, whatever. He'll go where he goes. I mean, well, who was the last great one? Bijan? I mean, the last one that went, did he go 10? Bijan was pretty high. Yeah, he was top 10. Yeah. All right.

Jags at Raiders. This is probably the Raiders last chance. This is a huge game for the Patriots. This would, if the, cause the Patriots aren't going to win again. If the Jags, we need Mac Jones to somehow pull off a win, but I have a, the Jaguars favored by two in Vegas. So that's what I had. I swear I did. And it's Vegas by one and a half. Okay. Where do they get that from? I do not know who their quarterback is. Is it, is it the Riddler?

I guess. As of tomorrow, I guess it will be. So Atlanta's favored by five and a half over the Vegas, but Jaguars, they suck too. I don't know. I can't make a case for Jaguars. I might bet this game. Fairly watchables. Bills Patriots, I think has to be 14. So I'm going to say 14. Yeah, I went 16 and a half. It's 14 and a half. You get that. Five to four, you're up.

One thing with the Pats, they have cheap touchdown potential at the end because that's the only time they kind of let May do his thing. They had another interception that wasn't his fault today. I don't know if you saw Boutte. Yeah. When he throws it to him. He did the receiver thing where he just flings it up in the air for the safety. That needs a name.

That needs to be named after somebody. There had to be some receiver who did that better than anyone. Somebody's keeping track of these stats. There's got to be somebody that has a, let's go to our next gen stats and see who fucks up more good fast. That guy fucked up and cost you an interception. Lions, Bears, and Chicago. With this Lions defense, I think putting high lines on them at this point is pretty risky. I'm going to say Lions favored by six and a half in Detroit. I mean, in Chicago.

Oh, you get this. I said eight. It's seven. Oh, you're right. I do get it. You get it. You get it, man. Do you not have San Francisco? Miami is isn't that weird that that's at best a fairly watchable?

That game will be awful. No, I know, but it's... Their fans don't want to watch that game. But if I would have told you Tua's the starter for Miami and Purdy's the starter for San Francisco. I know. It's a brutal watch. You just took Tua at number one in the bad community. I know. I know. A month ago, if you would have said this, but they suck. Well, here's another home dog for us. The Jets. Because they're going to be playing the Rams in Giant Stadium. Yeah.

The Jets have been moving the ball a little more the last couple games. Now, granted, it's because of their opposition. But, you know, they're a little... I think Rodgers with the Enigma coming out soon. I think he just looks freer and happier. I'm going to say the Rams by three and a half at the Jets. And this has all the makings of an everybody loses on the Rams bet.

So, yeah, you get it. I see JJ picking them right now on the Sunday pregame show. Although I shouldn't talk shit because I got killed today. West going east. McVay, yeah, they let down maybe a little bit. They need the game. They need the game, bro. They have extra rest. We'll see McVay, extra rest, stats and everything. You get it. It's three. I said two. Don't blow this. Don't blow this, Rams. Come on. This has all the makings. The Rams.

The next couple games, who do they have after this? This is all West, right? NFC West for them after this? Yeah, they're home for Arizona-Seattle. Say, all right, we'll take care of the Jets. And then we got Arizona-Seattle. And then all of a sudden they're down 10-0. Garrett Wilson had a 90-yard touchdown. And Puka's going in the blue tent. Hopefully he doesn't. I'm not going to win for that. 49ers-Dolphins in Miami. I stared at this one for three minutes. Mm-hmm.

You want another three? 49ers by one was where I landed in Miami. Oh, wow. All right. I get this. I said Miami by three. It's Miami by two and a half. Oh, wow. See, that's why I knew I was off in some direction. Man. So mad. So mad. I just want to point out the Dolphins aren't good. Maybe shouldn't be favored.

By two and a half over any decent team. It's interesting because they showed the DJ's record against teams that are above 500. But I feel like Shanahan's getting there too. Getting there too lately. Well, remember we used to do that as a bit. We did.

what his career winning percentage was. I might have to, might have to bring that back. Not a bit anymore. Real shit. Yep. I was asking Lombardi cause he came up with DJ for DJ Mikey Mack for McDonald's like Shane Steichen. What, what,

What's this? He reminded me we already came up with Thailand Shane for Shane Steichen. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's playing Madden on Twitch against somebody in Thailand. He's like, I'm going to call a double pass reverse. Oh, no, I got picked off. Reset. Poop fact of four games. There's some really bad games this week. I know. This was the week. That's why today was the day to celebrate. And it's great. But yeah, those Saturday games, screw it.

Because remember, we've already done Raiders Jags, which is a poopfecta, but I put it in the matchables. Falcons home for the Giants. I have Falcons by nine. What do you have? They're good. I said eight. It's ten and a half. This is going to be your week. Eight to five, you're up. I'm going to try not to watch any of that game. Can we see the Falcons a little first before we make them a ten and a half point favorite? Can we see them Monday night? Sunday might be a let's not even do a pod.

Is that right? I don't know. Do we even need to do it? Look at these games are terrible. Well, you might, you know, you might. The Sunday night game is Tampa Bay-Dallas. Colts-Titans. Another one I don't really want to watch any minutes of. It's in Indianapolis and I had the Colts favored by five and a half. That's what I had. It's four and a half. Vegas zone right there. Good luck to both of those teams. Yeah, that's some bad ones here.

Cardinals at the Panthers. It's another one. Just be careful with this one, my friends. I have Cardinals by three and a half. That's what I had too. It's four and a half. Vegas. Man, they're throwing. These are all stay aways. Two Vegas sons in a row. By the way, Cleveland, Cincinnati is fairly watchable. Jameis is fairly watchable the rest of the way. Yeah, I'll move that up. I'll move that up to the fairly watchable. The Browns are really bad though. Poor Nick Chubb broke his foot today.

Yeah, that was bad. I felt like he broke his wrist the way he's fumbling, fumbling that game away. But yeah, this was 21-14 when they played in October. I have Bengals by six at home over the Browns. I get this. I said seven and a half. It's seven. That's your teaser game. You love it. You love the Bengals. I don't put bad teams in teases. Sunday night also stinks. Bucks at Dallas.

Yeah. Yikes. I won't be depressed, Simmons, after this game. Thank God. Thank God they didn't beat the Bengals last week because now I would have been looking at seven and seven. Could they catch Washington? You would have been making yourself crazy. So good. McCarthy won his job back, though. Is that the Belichick shadow hanging over him now? Well, that's going to happen. Yeah.

Sunday night, Tampa at Dallas. I have Tampa by four and a half. I get this. Wait, do I have a chance here? I'm sure you do because you cheat. No, I don't. Well, first of all, I was way off on the Monday, but I have three. It's three and a half. Two left. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. You're up 10-9.

There's one game left. I was off by four points. So you're going to get it. One, two, three, four, five, six. So we have seven home underdogs next week. Is that right? Yeah. Always, always a red flag. We're going to get hurt. I might scale back. Didn't have a great week this week after an unbelievable run. Monday night, Packers, Saints.

You have a four point cushion. Best, best of luck to you. Thank you. I have Packers by 11 and a half against saints. All right. I said eight and a half because I'm an idiot. It's 12 and a half. Hmm. I guess I should have just said that because it's never 11 and a half. Right.

You'll have a 13-point teaser with Pittsburgh plus 19.5, Atlanta over the Giants. You'll figure something out. I can't believe the Seahawks let me down like that. Seahawks by 15.5, plus 15.5. Come on. Couldn't have hit that.

Let's do parent corner. What do you got? All right. What do I have? Well, a couple of things. My oldest is home. Came back from Oregon like Thursday night. Right. So first night home. He's not going out with his friends. I'm like, oh, that's cool. We'll stay home. We'll watch. We want to watch Goodfellas for the 907th time. He's like, no, let's watch some NBA. I was like, oh, Jesus. So he's an NBA hole. Listen, he is on the site that.

this is what he claims. He claims it gives you play money that you can turn into real money, but you can't lose real money. So he's gam. Like it's, I'm like, all right, I'm not going to investigate further. I know what you're doing. I invented this shit. It's fine. Yeah. He has got,

like six NBA parlays going. He's live betting all these games. He's like, no, wait till this team. No, if Dallas goes down nine, I'm going to hit him now. It's like my son is like Raheem Palmer. He came home from college. He's got a burner room. He's got a burner room. And then like in the NBA, you'll go, there'll be a 19 to two run and you'll be either on the good or the bad side of it. It's amazing. So that was that, that scared me. Yeah. I was proud and I was, uh,

terrified at the same time. So that's him. Quickly, my middle son.

Next Saturday is a great sports day. Now, I thought today was going to be a great sports day too, but here's what you got, Simmons. I know you don't care college. Tennessee, Ohio State. All right. The football games are going to be tremendous. Tennessee, Ohio State, Penn State, SMU, Texas, Clemson. We talked about Chiefs, Texans, Steelers, Ravens, Usyk versus Fury. It's a monster day. My guy Usyk. Yes. I want to just veg out and

in front of the TV. I want to lose a ton of money. I want to drink non-alcoholic eggnog, whatever I have to do. The problem is my son Jack has a wrestling tournament and he could potentially do well in it because it's a JV tournament and it's all day and it's all the fights way the fuck somewhere else. And here's the thing. There's 40 kids on the team. Only 13 of them right now don't have ringworm or empitago. Right?

Empatago is like a staff infection. You get it from the mat. These schools say they clean the mat. They don't clean the mat. These kids come back sweaty. They don't shower, and they have everybody's dirty sweat. It closes up in their body. It's awful. It's the most disgusting sport you can play. It is gross. He's going to wrestling practice. He weighs 126. There's so few kids now. He's rolling with like a 155-pounder. I'm like, what's going on here? So I was like, listen. I told him. I was like, I don't ask for much.

but I need Saturday Oak. Please, please do what you can to get Empatago. Please do it. Don't tell your mother. Can you lick the mat? Yes. Go all the roll, stay extra, stay afterwards, whatever you have to do. He's looking at me like I'm serious. Get Ringworm. Do what you can. So I will keep you posted, but I need this boy to get Ringworm so I can watch Penn State SMU. Here's 200 hours. I want you to lick the mat after practice for three minutes.

After everyone else looks at Matt, give them each 50. What a sports day that is. You're a Usyk. I'm telling you now, I'm putting him in seven parlays with NFL teams. Every team I like, I'm just putting Usyk in. Yeah. I just wish we knew how these guys train. Him and Pereira are the two most reliable comeback guys on the planet. I'm just going to keep doing it until one of them loses. Yeah. Maybe Fury as an undercard too. There's a couple good...

Is there on this? I thought there was at least one good fight before it. My guy Bacoli is not fighting until January, though. Yeah, what happened there? He's not even on that great card. I know. Yeah. I know. Anyway. So my daughter's come back from college actually late tonight. And my wife was ordering all this food to pick up because we need... My son's a weird eater. My daughter's the weirdest eater ever. She wanted to get food. And she's like, you know, the maggots coming home.

And we realized that we have, we have nicknames for everyone in my family that happened organically based on eating habits. So we call, we call Zoe the maggot because she's like, she's that one that's like with the slice of pizza, you just look down and there's just like the cheese is gone.

Or like there's a piece of sourdough toast and just all the stuff around the crust is just gone. You're like, oh, the maggot must have gotten it. My wife has always been the rat because it'll be like slice of pizza or a bagel on the counter. And just like a very small, almost imperceptible part of it is missing. And you're like, I thought that was like a bigger pizza slice. And she's just carefully cut like...

one eighth of it off. So we always call her the rat. Like she rats it up. It's good. And then my son is the raccoon cause he like never eats. And then he goes downstairs, everyone's asleep at like 1130 and just starts, you know, all of a sudden all this food's gone. You're like, Oh my God, the fucking raccoon got in the kitchen again. So then I was like, so what's my nickname then? She's like, you're just like a bear. You just eat a lot and then you sleep.

And I was like, I feel like that's insulting. I'm just the bear. Yeah. Hell yeah. And I'm not, it's not like I'm like a, but I guess that's how it, cause I have like big, you know, I don't eat a lot and then I'll have a big dinner. So she said, I'm the bear. You're the bear. I guess I'm the bear. Tell you on a second opinion. Yeah. I want to say, I feel like, can it be like a panda or specific bear or something? What's an animal that just kind of basically, uh,

that snacks during the day once or twice and then has like a big dinner. That's what every animal I am. Right. I don't know who that is. And is the clogger taken? You can't tell you. Yeah. So our fridge is like,

You know, my daughter comes home and there's like four different coffee made creamers because she likes to make these homemade lattes that she drinks two sips of. So all of a sudden the fridge has like this thing. My son has all the weird food he eats and it's just like a free for all. So anyway, it's good to be back. The Simmons family is back. Everyone's home. Six refrigerators for different animals. Stuff's crammed in. There's coffee made on top of like

You know, my son's kelp noodles. I don't know what's going on here. So I'm going to get in Patago drinking all those coffee mates. That's for sure. Did you see, it's very possible. Did you see a evil Jason Bateman and carry on yet? No, I haven't seen, I heard that we're on a text chain when you were discussing it. He's so evil. He goes evil. He should get off the poster.

Well, he was evil in Ozark, right? I said he wasn't on the poster. I didn't know he was in the movie. Oh, I started watching it. It was like, there's Jason Bateman. It's like, you told me Jason Bateman was in this. That feels like it's a big deal. It's definitely him, huh? Maybe he didn't want to know. I'm going to have to check it out.

I got a bunch of my cue. I end up watching dumb shit like the New York Stack Exchange, the Mark Gastineau. I listen to him carry on for an hour and a half. But anyway. Did you watch that documentary? Because I didn't watch it. Yeah, I'm like 40 minutes in. I just can't get enough of that nonsense. Yeah, I know. Can't say when I was there for 30 for 30 that the Jet Sack Exchange was on any of the master list for ideas. Just leave it at that. Yeah.

All right, so what do you got to plug? Anything? Oh, yeah. Through the Ringer with Tate on Wednesday. By the way, the kid's breaking news left and right. On that show, on December 4th, he can only say so much.

He was instrumental in getting this thing going with Lombardi and Belichick. I thought he was going to be there as the athletic director. I think they offer, you should be careful. I think they offer him some kind of ambassadorship or something like to help with the culture or something. But it's good for him, though. I mean, this is good. This worked out great for you, right? Because he retires a Patriot. He's not going to go three years with UNC and then end up with Seattle, right? So that's it. He's a Patriot.

It's way better than that because with him and Lombardi as a combo and I don't have a college football team. So now like I actually have a college football team I would genuinely care about. Awesome. I'll bet on their over. I'll put bets in so I care even more. I'm going to be all in. I'll wear it. They're going to be good. I was looking at hats on Fanatics. I couldn't find the right hat. I got to find the right hat.

Because it feels like it's got to be like the light blue with just the logo, but I couldn't find one that I liked. It's got to say the bear and then UNC. Bear. We're going to see it. I want an hour and 20 minutes and then mention the ring of pregame show. I'm 13 and two with my wisest wager. Good.

Good job by me. I had the Ravens. Come on. Yeah, we've been going for 80 minutes and you didn't bring this up. So you had the Ravens just straight up. You wanted to put them in a teaser. You're like, will it get to 14? Can I tease? I'm like, just take 16 and a half. It's fine. It's good. I get so worried with those games where you cannot come up with a single incentive for the heavily favored team to even care in the game. Oh, I see. That's what I get worried about.

Off a bye. Just sitting them in the locker room before the game like, fuck, we gotta fucking play the Giants. The Giants want this first pick so bad. They want it so bad. So that's it. Cousin Sal's winning weekend on Friday and against the Lods twice a week. We're 12-4 with our NBA picks. Only place you need to go on Ringer if you want to make money betting hoops. There you go. You know, if the Giants got Sanders, that would be super fun. Yeah.

I think him going to Vegas or the Giants, I just think is just for us, for people who want content. Right. Just watching that Mara, just watching Mara and reading about him. I don't know if he wants to put up with the whole Sanders family. Yeah, I don't think so. I think that's a Cam Ward team, to be honest. Where would you play Hunter, receiver or cornerback? I think it's fun. If the Patriots get him, why do you have to only give him two options? He could do anything. Make him a running back.

Isn't what makes him special that in college he can do both sides, but in the pros, that's completely unrealistic? That's going to be the issue. Right? But I don't know. Deion himself played wide receiver and deep back, so maybe it could happen. It would seem like the move would be to play him at cornerback and then bring him in for third down and eights. Gadget plays. Special gadget plays. Yeah. Almost using him like the old Percy Harbin kind of model.

Yeah. I think he's fine. You should watch it. Did you watch his acceptance speech? I think you'll get on his case. It's four and a half minutes. Just do it. It's better than Jason Bateman. Yeah, it's good. Better than Jason Bateman. I can't compare it. I didn't see. Cuz, good job by you. Great to see you as always. Thanks to Kyle Creighton. Thanks to Steve Cerruti.

And then we didn't have Gahow today, but Richter. John Richter. John Richter. Got rewatchables coming on Monday night. We did The Gambler, ironically, with Mark Wahlberg. Oh, you son of a bitch. That's a good one. And then we'll be back next week. Sal, good job by you. See you later. Good job by you, buddy. Thanks, everybody.