The NBA’s Wacky West, Tales From Augusta, and the Baby Doll Chronicles | With Joe House, Cousin Sal, Nathan Hubbard, Dave Chang, and Baby Doll
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Please visit theringer.com slash RG to learn more. Listen to the end of this episode for additional details. Must be 21 plus presidents like states game problem call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit RG-HOPE.COM. Coming up, I am still at the Masters. We're going to talk a lot about golf and we're going to do some NBA at the top. It's all next.

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At some point on Friday, coming up on this podcast, Joe House and I stayed up late here on the East Coast to watch Minnesota-Memphis. Minnesota, convincing. We're going to talk about that and what the West picture looks like for the playoffs headed into the final weekend of the season. And then we talk about the Masters. Me and House and Nathan Hubbard, our fairway rolling hosts, we were at the course last

All day today, we noticed a lot of stuff. We're going to talk about that. And then last but not least, we had James Babydoll Dixon on the Tuesday pod. A lot of questions from listeners, from people in my life. What's going on with that guy? So we dove into it with me and Sal and Chang and Babydoll, and we went for a full hour with them. So this is quite a podcast. I think we should bring in our friends from ProJab. ♪♪

All right, we're taping this past midnight on the East Coast because we are here in Augusta, Georgia. We're going to talk a lot of golf. We're going to do a big baby doll deep dive later. We have a lot of good stuff coming up on this podcast. But Joe House is here, and we stayed up late to watch Minnesota-Memphis, a game that yet again had dramatic Western Conference ramifications. Minnesota wins. Minnesota now the 7th seed. Memphis now the 8th seed.

Looking like they're going to get absolutely slaughtered by OKC. Wait a minute. Yeah. Unless. That's right. Unless they lose the 8-9 game. So Memphis, 12 and 17 in their last 29. That includes a coach firing. 21st net rating in those games. Not counting tonight.

and they would play their Sacramento or Dallas in the eight, nine game. And we were watching them this whole game, and I've watched them a few times. They can't guard anybody anymore. It just feels like anyone can go off on them. If they go a little smaller, they can get bullied. They can't guard anybody's perimeter, point guard, scoring guard type guy. It's a mess. And I just don't think they're any kind of threat whatsoever. - I wholeheartedly agree.

The interesting thing to me is this whole game flipped in the third quarter.

Yeah, Memphis was winning at halftime. They were up five at halftime. It was 72 to 67 at halftime. We knew this because you had a first half bet on Minnesota. I did. Yeah, you played that perfectly. It worked out absolutely sublime as usual. But the third quarter was 52 to 25. 52 points in the third quarter for the...

For the Minnesota Timberwolves. What's the coach's name? Coach B.O.? Yeah, T.O.B.O. T.O.B.O. Yeah. The new Memphis coach who apparently didn't have any defensive playbook stuff. The interim Memphis coach. Yeah. The Memphis coach for the moment. What a disappointment.

When you think where that team was three years ago versus where they're heading going forward and what their assets are. You think where that team was two months ago, two and a half months ago. The most interesting thing they have going is, oh, John Morant, he's doing a grenade now. He was doing the gun before. Now he's doing the grenade celebration. It's like, how about play some fucking defense, John Morant?

How about that? Why don't you guard somebody? It's a team that needs some shaking up. The coach firing... Would you trade for John Morant? If you're the Wizards GM? No. God, no. John Morant makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. If you got the fourth pick in the draft, would you trade Jordan Poole and the fourth pick for John Morant? No. Well, Jordan... No, no, no, no, no. I understand the marketing stuff. He's beloved in Memphis. Yeah.

reminds us of the trajectory he was on with a Nike relationship and with the league's interest in promoting him. As my friend Pauly Walnuts once said, remember when is the lowest form of conversation. It wasn't that long ago. Yeah, I get it. Well, so Ant has grabbed, and we knew this happened already, but Ja had that cool young on the rise superstar spot and Ant grabbed it and was awesome tonight.

Now, who knows? This could flip around, but Minnesota plays Brooklyn and Utah at home, two teams that don't want to win games anymore. Worst case scenario, they're going to be a seven seed unless there's some sort of massive collapse. Golden State is at Portland, home for the Clippers next two. So Minnesota could potentially climb to six where they'd play the Lakers, potentially. I assume the Lakers, they play home Houston.

And at Portland, I don't know. This is so good. I feel stupid even bringing up all the matchups. My point is if it's two seven and it's Houston, Minnesota,

First of all, that's an awesome series. That's an awesome series. Second of all, there's definitely going to be some sort of altercation. Altercations. I don't know what it'll be, but there will be an altercation. There'll be a fracas. A fracas and a fracas. There'll be a Donnybrook. There's going to be an imbroglio. An imbroglio, yes. All of them. They'll all be lined up. You and I have had this. We've known each other since 1988.

We never like to bet a playoff series where we don't have the best player in the series. Houston, Minnesota, 2-7. The 17 would have the best player in the series. It is undeniable.

Now Houston has a bunch of awesome defensive players and athletes. They do. To throw at that best player. They could. Not only do they have Ahmed Thompson, who's been coming on like a freight train. I think it has to be heard from in all defense. Tremendous. Not only have Dylan Brooks, who will try to start 19 fights with Ant. And I don't know if you remember that game they had earlier in the season, which was one of the most fun games of the season. They also have Tari Eason. Yes. So this is like on paper, the perfect team.

to just throw dudes over and over again at Ant. So my guess is, because of what I just said about, oh, you never want to not have the best player in a series, there's going to be Minnesota stuff, but I kind of like Houston if that's the matchup. That's interesting. I do have immense respect for E-May. I do think they will game plan

to try and do their best to limit. And I do think they'll game plan to make sure that Julius Randle has the ball as much as possible. Yeah, but he was good tonight. He's figured out where he fits in on this Minnesota team from a bully ball standpoint. Memphis went a little small in that game tonight. And he was like, cool, I'm going to absolutely, he does that thing, he keeps banging into you, banging into you, does a little fade away.

Or he goes to the basket. I don't know. I do like him going to the basket. I feel like he's found his identity a little bit on this team. My issue, and I've said it a couple times, I think I said it earlier this week, with Houston is I don't trust them scoring, getting the tough buckets that you need in a playoff series. You give them credit for the wins lately, though? They've had some nice wins. They need the tough buckets in a playoff series where the team has engineered a game plan to take away what you do, what you want to do on offense.

In the last six or seven minutes. There's bad advanced bench tricks for them in the half court. Yeah. There's half court stats that are bad. There's crunch time stuff that's terrible. Yes. And that would be the hope if you're Minnesota is you have a guy who could score and Houston potentially doesn't. And it's the Fred VanVleet step back. But I don't know, man. Houston feels like the perfect team to just frustrate Ant

Throw all kinds of shit at him. Throw little staggered little double teams at him. Just get him so that he wants to go into hero ball mode against really good defenders. It's a really interesting series. So as unexcited as I would be about Memphis OKC or Sacramento OKC or the corpse of Dallas OKC. Dallas OKC? Yeah. Nico. Yeah, so then here's the other thing. So it looks like the Lakers are going to be the three seed. Now, they could blow the Houston game.

They have a home game against Houston. I don't know. It just feels like the Lakers really like where they are right now against most teams. But let's say 3-6 is Lakers' golden state. All-timer. All-timer. All-time fun first round. Yeah. Just a history series. But we watched this happen two weeks ago.

And the Lakers are a really good matchup for Golden State because they can go small. Any team where they can play Draymond at the five is a win for Golden State. The league doesn't want that. The league does not want

the Lakers and Golden State in the first round. Oh, I like where you're going with this. They want to rig it a little bit? Well, let's just pay attention to the referee assignments. That'll be one way. You're going referee assignments? Let's just make sure we're monitoring all the data points that are out there that might impact how you want to handicap these last couple games of the season. Just be mindful. That's all I'm saying. Well, so we could get that...

and then Denver Clippers. But, you know. That's not what the league wants. The league does not want Denver Clippers and using up all of the juice of this, you know, moment in LeBron's career, this moment in Steph Curry's career. I don't want it. I don't want to see this in the first round. I don't want to see Golden State and the Lakers in the first round. Counter.

Like, we're going to have some sort of matchup where you're like, shit, I wish these teams were playing in round one. It's going to be somebody. If Kawhi is healthy with the Clippers, that's a fun matchup, just period, against anybody. And then this Denver team, we were studying the internet video of Denver beats the Kings, Adelman's first game as the interim coach, gives a little speech. Locker room seemed kind of raucous for him after. And it really made me think, like,

It might have even been worse than they were letting on. Just the vibe. I'm dying for Lakers Clippers in the first round. Lakers, you know, it's never happened. Dying for it. Has it ever happened? I can't think of it. I don't think it's ever happened. You would know. You're the one that writes books. I can't think of it. I feel like we've had moments. I remember in 06 when the Lakers were up 3-1 against the Suns.

And then they fell apart and then Kobe didn't shoot in the second half because he was so mad at everybody. That was the year it was supposed to be Lakers Clippers. I don't, other than that, I don't, I don't think it's ever happened. I just love that. Did it happen in the bubble? The LA conch aspect of it. LA conch. Because Ballmer with his brand new stadium. Yeah. Right. And, and we have finally have healthy Kawhi, the Clippers absolutely positively will not, you

go down. They are not going to let the Lakers bully them. I quite like the idea of Denver and Golden State as a series in the first round. That's super fun. Golden State probably feels like

They have a more complete team, better bench. They'll just let Jokic have his 35, 15, 12 and take out everybody. Denver, the one thing they did, they started Pickett and played him big minutes and seems like they try to confine Westbrook

And he was two for 11 in 17 minutes. Seems like a good idea. But some of the stuff that came out, The Athletic had a piece about how Westbrook was a big lightning rod with Booth. And it sounds like everything was a lightning rod with those guys. But Malone was playing Westbrook too much. The front office was really upset about that. I mean, he did. He's a nightmare in these crunch times.

They were resting guys. Like, what do you want them to do? I don't know. They keep choosing. This is the game where Porter Jr. will sit out. This is the game that Jamal is going to sit up. Jamal's got an injury that needs some nursing. Where do you stand on just firing a coach in the last month or the last week of the season? Because we did not grow up with. I'm flabbergasted by it. I don't understand it. And it doesn't look like. I mean, why don't they just fire the GM?

That would have been fine. If it was all about this was such a poisonous thing, why not fire the GM and then figure out... They must have also felt like the coach had just completely lost the team. It's the only explanation. I told you. I think that Josh Kroenke should have stood up and said, this is on me. There was a moment a long time ago...

when somebody in that management structure should have intervened and said, we're not going to let this happen. We're not going to have a poisonous relationship and have tension inside this building. Yeah, but they're patient with all their coaches, though, in all the sports. This is how they do it. They weren't patient. This time they weren't. It doesn't make any sense. I think they felt like, you know, we have one of the great offensive players of all time.

We're going the wrong way. Can we still salvage this? These West matchups are fucking crazy to figure out. Why not? How are they going to salvage it? They, well, they're, they're announcing this was done the way it was. So at least if we do this, maybe it's not done, but this version is done. What's this?

Do this, inspire the coach, try to change the energy around the team. The energy. Put somebody in there who's actually going to play, you know, the younger guys and not Russell Westbrook. I don't know. It's the end of the season. What are we doing? Can we talk about what we saw in that? Now, granted, Chang was...

making dinner for 20 people so we had the laker game on and we're trying to watch then we caught up on all the highlights but uh i happen to be watching live when luca just started breaking down during that whole you called us all over yeah i couldn't believe it i because i was like is he getting choked up it's not sound on it's not believable i can't ever remember in the history of sports a situation like this with a team i'm talking about dallas not lakers

It reminds us, once again, it's just another chapter in this book that's called The

this is the dumbest fucking thing in the history of sports. So chapter 23, the first time that the player that we traded and then immediately started dragging down in every public forum we could. And then we made Slovenian t-shirts for him and did a video to thank him. And then did like a five minute celebration video of all the incredible things that he did for that franchise to make them relevant

that they were on an ascending trajectory. I was excited to see them in these playoffs this year with Luka. I bet them to exceed their win total. I was bullish on this Dallas team. It's fine for him to have the injury that he had. Well, he wanted to work out his injury on his own. I mean, you know.

They're the fuck off Mavericks. And that's the way they're going to be for the next five years. That would be a good t-shirt, the fuck off Mavericks. Two things. One, I've never seen, it's almost like when they have those probability things of like a coin toss and it's like, this guy rolled, flipped a quarter and 23 straight times it came up heads.

The Mavericks, 23 straight times, have made the wrong decision where I've completely disagreed with whatever they decided to do, starting with shopping...

the not shopping the trade not shopping like you go on through every single piece then the trade happens the way they handled it the way mark cuban didn't do anything and then all of a sudden went on his little tour pretending he didn't have anything to do with it even though he didn't i heard a wrinkle here in the last 10 days or so that i hadn't heard before what was it which was the idea the mavericks had a concussion concussion barely covers it it was it's brain damage

That Palenka was less than forthcoming, less than truthful, less than 100% upfront about the nature of Anthony Davis's injury. Have you heard anything about this? I have not. That Palenka took advantage of his relationship with his protege, the sneaker boy. He definitely did. And...

An element of that was an injury that he characterized in their conversations was something that Anthony Davis could overcome, was not going to be as impactful. It doesn't matter. To me, that's irrelevant. It was still the stupidest trade of our lifetime. Well, I don't disagree. Get Austin Reeves in the trade, fuckfaces. I have no argument with anything that you say. It remains a

Again, the dumbest effing trade. Also, like if they had called us in, I've said this before, but did anyone bring up, yo, you might be lighting a fire under him. This is already a stupid trade.

But the person you're trading, you're basically killing off that person and he's going to be a much more motivated version of the same person, which is going to be bad for like, just don't do this. I wonder what, off to your Davis point, I wonder what happens if they bring him in for a physical, they already have the outcry and then they fail him the physical the way the Lakers failed Mark Williams.

and they void the trade. I wrote to you. That would have been an amazing outcome. In a text thread. In the first 12 hours after the trade, I wrote in our text thread when all of us were trying to make some sense out of it. What if this was the most Machiavellian, big ball,

big baller move by Nico, which is to create a market that he couldn't otherwise create by failing Anthony Davis on the physical and having every team in the league now see that he's available. Because it just takes too much time and energy to shot Luca and see what might come out of the woodwork to each of the remaining 32 teams. I mean, we were here in Augusta, Georgia in the company of

God, I love that conversation so much. An NBA upper, upper, highest echelon person who shared with us that the price available, all I'm going to say, they would have paid any price. There was no price that was not on the table. Well, I think a lot of teams felt that way. You know who didn't get a chance to participate?

All the other teams. 31 teams in the league or 30 teams in the league. And the two expansion teams. They also would have traded everything. That's right. Well, so that the one thing is just I can't believe how many decisions in a row the Mavericks screwed up even to this week with the way they handled everything was amazing. The second thing, you know, and we've been moving this way now for 20 years. And maybe Jordan even started it in the 90s where fans like they play more than a team.

We've never seen a trade where the fans went with the player, right? So true. We saw LeBron fans follow him to Cleveland, Miami, back to Cleveland, LA, just because they were LeBron fans. We've seen the phenomenon in the 21st century of, I just like this player, I'm following him wherever. Maybe it's Kevin Durant, whoever it is. We've never seen a fan base kind of switch sides against the team

But yeah, it kind of makes sense because you think like people get divorced all the time. Sure. Right? Yeah. What is it? Like 50% of marriages end in divorce? That's the stat. Why'd you say it so nervously? You got something to tell me? No, no. But this could be the first ever...

I've divorced my team and now I am following Luka on the Lakers and that's my new team. I felt like there was real seeds in the stands last night. I don't know if it was just Laker fans. Some of those fans might have just been Mavs fans who are now like, fuck it, I'm a Laker fan. I don't think that's up for debate. I think that there is a large body of evidence that confirms this. But this could be the next 10 years.

Every time he comes back, the Lakers are treated like it's a home game for the Lakers in Dallas. That is going to happen. I expect that. Well, there's only one outcome now. And this has been the conspiracy the whole time. But that the family gets the Vegas team and...

They make the Dallas team the expansion team. That's actually like a realistic outcome now. The league can't countenance that. Can the league really live with that outcome? That would be a bad outcome for the league. What if Cuban bought the team back? I mean... Mark Cuban, conquering hero coming out. I shouldn't have sold the team. Let me... I'll take them back now.

My bad. Maybe it's worth less because they've destroyed a billion dollars of value. I think at least a billion dollars. I think it's easy. You could easily run a math exercise and get to two billion, I think. We didn't plan on this. Let's do it right now. Teams you would rather own than the Mavericks. I'll just list every team. OKC, Cleveland, Boston, Houston, the Knicks. You'd want to own all of those teams over the Mavericks. True story. Lakers, Indiana.

Yes, yes, yes. Denver? Sure. Clippers? New Arena? Amazing. Golden State? Sure. Memphis? I would rather own Memphis, yes. Really? Well, they have some things that they have to figure out, but they have assets. They have moves. I'd rather own Dallas. Minnesota? Oh, Minnesota's awesome. Milwaukee? They're in a crossroads spot. I'd rather have Milwaukee. Detroit? Detroit?

Detroit's incredible. Rather have Detroit. How about that? If I told you two years ago, you'd rather own the Detroit Pistons than Dallas Mavericks. Well, two years ago, no. You'd say no way. Orlando? Yeah, I'd rather have Palo than Florida. No state tax. I guess that's right. Sacramento? Now we're getting close. Now it's getting a little bit more of a... Yeah. Yeah, that's the first one. Atlanta, I'd rather have Atlanta. Me too.

Chicago, I'd rather have Chicago and be in a major city. Miami, heat culture. Come on. Phoenix. Tough one. Because you inherit the crazy luxury tax and all the terrible front office stuff. I think I'd rather have Dallas. I'd rather have Dallas too. I feel like I can get out of my Dallas situation. They're in a very similar situation. Portland? Portland's great. I'd rather have Portland. San Antonio, obviously. Toronto? I'd rather be Toronto. Yeah, yeah. Toronto. Brooklyn? Brooklyn?

Black Sheep, New York scene, but I might get Cooper Flag in two months. That one's close. And I have a bunch of picks. I'd rather be Brooklyn. Philly? Depends on where that pick is. Five years from now. Yeah. New Orleans. No. I would much rather have it be Dallas than New Orleans. Okay, there's another one. Not even close. Would you rather be Charlotte or Dallas? Dallas. Hard Dallas. Hard Dallas. What if you got the flag pick? So Dallas unless Charlotte gets the flag pick. And I'd rather be Utah.

Would you rather be the Wizards or Dallas? Would you rather own Washington or Dallas? So me, if it was me? Anyone, normal person. Well, I mean, that makes it different.

The problem with Washington is there has been no validation of the proof of concept. It's been moribund for two decades now. I think I'd rather have Dallas. I understand. So the point is, it was less than six teams. Yes. And a year ago, you would have put Dallas in the top eight. They were in the finals with Luca. They were in the finals. Come on. They had an awesome team. It's like, you know...

So maybe Mark Cuban buys them back for like $2.5 million. He makes, it's back for a billion. Yeah. It gets it back for a billion cheaper. I, it's just, I'm in a really conflicted spot by the way, because, because I kind of enjoy Luca and like, I, I do want him to stick it to them, but he's on the Lakers, the team that other than the Yankees, I hate the most. And this is like really agonizing for me.

They have Austin Reeves, who I really enjoy watching. They have Luka, who I enjoy the comeback thing. The LeBron thing's fascinating. The most incredible thing, and this is why we should never put ourselves in the position of underestimating what the NBA is capable of, is that the first, what was it, quarter of the season,

The narratives were, stop putting the effing Lakers and the effing Golden State Warriors on television. It's sick of watching them. They stink. There's nothing those teams can do to improve themselves. We're basically ESPN classifying the league with these two teams. Exactly. Can you please promote some of these younger players? OKC, Cleveland, Detroit. Show us some new people. We want to see that.

and, you know, ratings down. And they're going to stay down. Like, what can flip this? And here we are now with both of those two franchises. We can't wait to see these Western playoffs. The irony of that, Lakers-Warriors round one, the biggest ratings in round one history. And Adam Silver like, ah. That's exactly right. And every one of their TV partners like, yeah, we did it. Two things happened. Football ended.

And the league figured out how to get Luka Dacic to the Lakers for 80% off. Unbelievable. Who are you picking? Who are you picking for the West right now? Still OKC? Yeah, it's got to be OKC. Yeah, me too. All right. We're going to take a break. Come back with House and Nathan talking Masters. The Bill Simmons podcast brought to you by FanDuel. It's the final stretch of the NBA season. The playoff picture changing literally by the minute.

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All right, taping this seven o'clock Eastern time, this part of the podcast. Joe House is here. Nathan Hubbard is here from our Fairway Rolling podcast. We've been at the Masters all week. We went to round one today.

Trying to keep it a little big picture just because by the time some people hear this, the Masters Round 2 will be going. Things change. I'm pretty sure Justin Rose isn't going to be at minus 14 in two days. He's at minus 7 now. Scott is at minus 4. Why are you making a... Never say never. Why are you taking something away from Justin Rose? He could be minus 14. I'll give you $100. $100? You can afford more than that, buddy.

Well, whatever. He's not going to be minus 14 after two days. It's not likely. Big picture stuff. First thing, the gallery excitement thing because we did not have Tiger Woods this time around.

And I was trying to think who, and we were able to watch practice rounds on Tuesday. The par three was yesterday. These guys were messing around. Nathan and I had a great moment. Well, tell the moment when we stumbled into those guys on the fifth hole yesterday. On the fifth hole? Yeah. When it was Rory and... Right. We had Rory playing with Fleetwood and Rahm.

And who was the fourth guy they were betting? Shane Lowry. Lowry. And they had split into teams and it was clearly Tommy and Rom were playing, or Shane and Rom were playing Tommy and Rory. And they were definitely betting. Having a great old time. We were like, these guys are nice at loose. But the big thing is Rory, the gallery moves a little differently and it made me wonder if he now has...

the conch, as they said in Lord and the Flies, the conch, is that what it's called? Yeah. I mean, and that's the irony and the sadness of what we just watched happen down the stretch today, because you're exactly right, that he has the energy, he has the crowd, and he kind of was the main character coming in to this Masters, playing the best of anyone, two wins on American soil for the first time coming into a Masters. And what did we talk about on Tuesday?

His problem has been his Thursday score. Anytime he plays well on Thursday, he's performed well in these majors. So you think two straight bogeys? Two straight double bogeys. Two straight double bogeys down the stretch? Suboptimal. How did we get here where he's the number one gallery guy? Because it was Tiger forever, and if Tiger was here, it would still be Tiger. And Rory, when you see him in person, he's jacked. He's not gigantic. Yeah.

Nice little Irish guy, but the fans fucking love him. I think two things. In the first place, he became the de facto voice of the PGA Tour for all of the...

processing in professional golf of the rift between the players that left for live and the PGA tour and he really was the voice of the tour making arguments on behalf of the tour he was the front man not the commissioner of the tour Rory effing McElroy so that is sort of one element of it he was a prominent face and prominent voice he's articulate he's always he always gives a sincere

year interview so there's a likability factor there. So you're going authenticity which is a big term in the mid 2020s. They say that. People think Rory's authentic. Turns out authentic wins. Yeah. And the other element is this sort of

I don't want to overstate it. It's not tragedy that he can't win another major. Slightly star-crossed. Yes. Slightly. Just enough. Because he's been super competitive in a handful of majors. There's been this question since the last major he won in 2014, when will he win his next? And he has been super close a handful of times and not able to get across the goal line. So there is that element as well.

Anything to add on that one, Nate? I think that the last time that we really saw him in a competitive major was at that U.S. Open and he missed two short putts. And he has been doing all this work over these last however many months to get himself mentally to a place where he could overcome that. 14 today, he had a short putt. It was a birdie putt, but he pushed it ever so slightly right, rolled over the cup.

Next hole, he doubles. Two holes later, he doubles and he finds himself seven behind. There's no energy that the crowd could give him. He just sapped the energy out of the place.

More terrible Rory putts and shots today or more meals for you today? What was the bigger number? Meals, for sure. It's such a pleasure to see you not eating for a half hour. No, Rory putt like whatever Sal dropped in the upstairs bathroom this morning. Oh my God, we can't talk about that. So Rory's improbably a clear number one.

I feel like Tiger had that spot forever. Mickelson was in there for a little bit. For a little bit. Yeah. Well, he's more of a kind of villain. He's also 54 years old. Well, I'm saying way back. Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. For sure, Phil. He had it a little bit. It's a pretty small group of people in general, but we...

I asked you who you think the top four is right now for gallery, just watching the way the gallery moves. And when you're at the Masters, especially when the tournament starts, people, they'll go two holes ahead anticipating when the person's coming. They want to get like a good spot so they can get as close as possible. Or you'll have the gallery just following, which is like you said today when Tiger's in the Masters when he was playing.

It was like two separate tournaments happening. It was like the gallery following Tiger. 25 deep. And then everybody else who's also in the tournament. Right. So it's interesting to watch. And the number two guy on my list is pretty surprised by it. It's Bryson. Yes. Like clearly unquestionably. And I got to say, he's edging closer to the Rory spot.

than I thought. And people, so what is it? Like, let's go through all the reasons here. It's a massive turnaround from a guy who, the last years ago, he came into the Masters, had eaten so poorly, speaking of eating badly, that his body was shutting down and he was getting dizzy and falling over here at Augusta.

Is that you or Bryson? Both. Nathan today, Bryson four years ago. Bryson learned his lesson and has this interesting narrative arc where he's bounced back and starting really, I mean, House, you mentioned it. It started with his YouTube series where he really, all of the guys who went to live talked about growing the game. Only one guy has actually worked at it and done something different, hasn't he?

Yeah, and it's a combination of him having whatever the instinct was to sort of create a personality on YouTube. Like he's a real, he's a creator and it's interesting content. And he does, the series is Breaking 50. He started it in the fall of 23. And it was a weird kind of moment for him because he had gone over to live,

People were, you know, in two camps still in that 2022, 2023 timeframe. But he's like, you know what? I have this thing I'm going to do. It was the breaking 50 thing and it became very popular. Now it has 1.8 million subscribers. But then he went and played excellent golf on the heels of this YouTube thing. He played great at the PGA Championship last year at Valhalla. And Nathan was there on the grounds experiencing the pop,

The crowd pop, right? Yeah, he chipped in to end his third round on Saturday and the place went apeshit. He looked into the camera and did the let's go like he was a YouTube creator. And so all of the energy on Sunday was around Bryce and he didn't quite catch Xander. But three weeks later, he walked into the US Open. I'm telling you, he was the main character there, both for the fans, but also the players were watching him because they felt the energy change.

Valhalla carried over to Pinehurst number two and it's out there on the course right now but he's not crushing the ball like he did four years ago like as far right it's different different kind of different game he's matured he's still hitting the piss out of it yeah but not like we'll never see it again like it was a few years ago I mean it's interesting the way you lay it out it's like it's basically the the arc

backlash re-arc that most influencers and people on TikTok or YouTube stars or the people my daughter likes where it's like, I love this person. Oh, they got in a fight. Oh, they got canceled. No, they're back. And he kind of jammed all that into four years because there was like...

It really felt like the backlash had arrived for him in a major way. And now it's gone. Right before he and Brooks went to live, the biggest storyline in golf was the rift between Bryson and Brooks and Brooks was bullying Bryson. And there was, you know, a bunch of really negative stuff, negative energy was happening. It was clearly affecting Bryson. And then, you know, fast forward to this moment, he's like, he's,

all the way up here. My hand is very high up. And Brooks is in a curious place. I had Brooks. So we have Rory one, Bryce in two. Well, let's say I'll do three and four quick. And then we'll talk about the guys who fell off, which includes Brooks. So what's interesting is Spieth is third and it's Masters specific. I'm not sure if it's any every tournament.

But one of the great things about the masters, we were walking the course with a couple of people today who had were coming to the masters for the first time, didn't really know all the history. And we were explaining Spieth and how there are these certain tragic figures of Augusta and they just carry the skeletons around with them as you see them. And you're just like, oh, man.

Just hope, I hope they could break out of this that one time. And, you know, it was Greg Norman forever, 30 years, 25, 30 years ago. And Spieth's now that guy where they're like, oh man, it'd be so nice if he won one more time. And the gallery does follow him and swell up for him. It's interesting.

Yeah, I looked at the picture from the Champions Dinner where he's there with a green jacket, but he's sort of in the back row and he feels like removed from the rest of the guys. Like he just so badly wants one and he had one in his hands. I mean, the other guy in that picture is Danny Willett who has a green jacket because Jordan's

Spieth coughed up a five-shot lead on the 12th hole. It was just an absolute meltdown of putting ball after ball after ball into the water. And so that ghost hangs over him. It's not unlike the Rory arc. It's just that in that moment in time, in 2015, he wins two majors. He is being called the golden child by everybody. He's a handsome kid. He's 21 years old. And so to see him continue to struggle, this place wants him, of all people, I think, to win another green jacket. And how old is he now? He's like...

Early 30s? Very 20s? Yeah. And he's got kids. Yeah. He's coming off of injury, but still compelling. Still, you know, people recall because he's been in our lives for 10 years now. Yeah. And when you have that, you know, that meteoric approach

appearance into the scene and he's, he's charismatic. And that's one of the things with, with golf. That's why Bryson, you know, resonates Bryson's charismatic. He understands the sort of entertainment proposition. Well, he's not so big in person, which I think is one of the things that works in the gallery. And that's like the Rory thing is where it goes the other way. We're like, wow, he's not a giant guy anyway, speed three. And then Scott, he's four.

Um, more cause he's just been dominating the decade, but I still don't feel like there's, there's something that he hasn't achieved yet from a Scott is on 15. We got to go over there. There's something missing and I don't know what it is. That's it. Last year when his statistics were analogous to some of the best tiger years, people just don't get as enthused about Scotty. And I think

That's part of his superpower. Like he is very even keeled. He's a man of deep faith. He's a family guy. Now he talks about that and he doesn't talk about much else. That's particularly interesting out on the golf course. So you can go watch him. His swing is interesting. He plays interesting, but he's not really a character. And that's part of why he's been so successful and able to win all these tournaments, I think, because he's dispassionate in those moments. Yeah. Rahm's almost...

more interesting in person just because he's you know who he is right away the volatility of you know his game and his temper that's an attractive kind of what does Scotty have to do like facial hair what would you add well I will say this I do think like crazy hair bleach blonde hair he got arrested it didn't help tattoos on

I, I, I've never been to, um, a masters on a Saturday. I wonder if people, cause like he's in when he gets close to the hunt, he's the odds on favorite right now. He's plus one 90 to win this golf tournament. He opened at plus four 60 or four 50 in this golf tournament. Just being three back from the leader, man, his odds already went down. Yeah.

And the data, I mean, today, this is the thing about Scottie. He's got this floor that he's always going to play well. He is third tee to green this year, which is to say his...

game off the tee and approach has been awesome. Today it was mediocre, but he was fifth in putting overall. He just finds ways to go get it done. And that I watched that. Look, he played with my brother both Saturday and Sunday at the PGA the days after he got arrested. Yeah. And on Saturday there was definitely a lull in the energy. He didn't play great. He'd come off that day where he'd walked in on Friday and gotten arrested. And then he actually put up a good round that day. Saturday he was just okay. Sunday

heading into the back nine it's it's clear he's not going to win but he and my brother are tied through 10 holes they're both three under at that point scotty puts the pedal down shoots five under on the back and finishes top 10 we get in the clubhouse my brother turns to me and goes that's why he's the number one player in the world he just has a floor that is so high and a button yeah he's just got a go button and when he hits it he's the best in the world what about auberg

How are we feeling about him? Second last year, minus four today. He passes the in-person test.

He is a striking presence. I do think he was helped also by the TGL. The TGL helped us learn a bit more about some of these guys, and he was dominant in some of his appearances on that. Like, if you tuned in on a February Tuesday night, you're like, let me just see what the thing is about, and you happen to catch his team, whichever, it's like one of the California teams. I don't remember. But he's like, he was noticeable to

distinct, separated himself from other people from how well he played. Yeah, we've been told this guy's a Swedish golf robot since he came out of college just a couple years ago. And now he's out there playing the part. And we would have said coming into this tournament after a second place finish last year, this is the guy. It's just that he got sick after winning at Torrey Pines and he has not looked the same. Well, no, he got sick at the

the farmers and then wanted Torrey Pines after. But he's been up and down. He missed two cuts coming into this Masters. We just didn't know how it was going to play out. Today, his first tee to green, he was mid in putting, only 40th. So that should scare the crap out of everybody as we head into the weekend. Because if he starts putting better on these greens after having been in the pressure situation last year, maybe he is that golf robot and can go get it done.

So he's honorable mention and then Rob's honorable mention. The falling off list, it's been interesting. We've been coming since 2018. I think this is our fourth time in the last seven years. And the Brooks thing has definitely shifted. And it's just not,

not an event anymore when he's like, oh, here comes Brooks, like whatever. I feel like it's because he's always mailed it in. That's been his reputation is that he just kind of mails it in until the majors. And so we built up this lore around him that he's going to show up and win. But when that stops after that 23 PGA championship and it goes away, then he's just a guy. Might be just a guy. He has one top 20.

since winning that PGA Championship in a major in 2023, and nobody's watching him on live, and he's not out there kicking ass on live. So who is he? What's the compelling reason to go like, oh, I want to go watch Brooks. What, so you can see him shoot two over? Where did he end up today? Yes, there. Okay, right. So great.

And DJ was the other one who had that going for a few years. Oh, DJ. That makes me sad. He's so much talent. And he was one of the most consistent guys on tour. He won a PGA Tour event every year for like 15 years. He got over the hump with his U.S. Open win in terms of majors at Oakmont. Incredible. Validated that with a Masters, a dominant Masters win in the fall. In the COVID year, November of 2020. Super weird, but he went out and kicked everybody's ass.

And then, you know, they wave the check out of it. Homie is like, I'm going to go fishing. All right. I go fishing. I go fishing. There's a little Fred couples.

that he could feel. And he played well today too. But he's become the new old guy. Yes. It was Watson for a while. It was Nicholas before him. It feels like now it's Fred Couples. It helps that he's got Nance's blessing. So Nance, every single round announces how Fred he did. And today, he holed out on 14 with a hybrid. He chipped in on the front. So he was bringing energy to the crowd. We could hear it out there. Yeah.

One thing I want to do quick was the golfer of the decade because we're halfway through. So Scotty has the most PGA Tour wins, 13. Rory's got 11. Rom's got eight. Scotty, Bryce, and Xander and Rom both have two majors each. So it's in progress. But Scotty has a chance over these next couple majors to basically take the lead. So I went back and I was trying to figure out, could you figure this out for each decade? And it's...

Yeah, 2010 to 2020 especially is hard. Yeah, because Rory had 18. PGA Tour wins in four majors. Brooks had four majors. So Rory technically from the stats, Spieth was 11-3.

It's Rory, but I don't think anybody's like 2010s. I think of Rory first. Well, it's a split decade. Rory owned 10 to 14 and Brooks owned 15 to 20. Which is a little what the 90s were like too. The 2000s, Tiger won 59 times and he won 12 majors. So he dominated that. The 90s are a mess. They're a little like the 2010s. Nick Price had the most.

wins 16. He had three majors. It was all kind of clumped together, same way. And then Tiger kind of dominated the last couple of years there. He ended up with 15 wins and two majors in like three years. 97 Augusta. Yeah. So that one was a little split. The 80s is Watson. He was 19 and five, pretty clear. And then 70s was Jack, 38 and eight.

And then the 60s was a nice little Palmer-Nicholas battle. Wonderful. 43 for Palmer, 30 for Nicholas. P.J. Torr wins. Seven majors for Nicholas, six for Palmer. So it wasn't... I thought it would be easier to go through the decades. Like, oh, that was that guy's decade. It's kind of not. I think with this decade, though, Scottie could take it. Because when he...

When he started coming up, it was the beginning. Sometimes you need luck with this stuff. And now it feels like he's positioned the best. The thing I think we need to see from Scotty, he needs to win a major that's not the Masters. That's what will really, I think, advance his cause. I mean, the year that he had last year in 2024 was so Tiger-esque. And we fought each other all season long. Do we dare say Tiger's name in the context of what? I mean, the man won the gold medal, which is

effing awesome yeah and it really meant a lot to him he had the wins on tour he won the tour championship he had the masters he came uh i he he had a moment where there was like

The single most prominent thing that occurred for the PGA, for all of professional golf last year, was him getting arrested at the gate of a major championship as the number one ranked player in the world because the cop didn't know who the hell he was. So there is like, it's a very interesting arc where we're ready to anoint him. I would like that to happen. Tiny bit more charisma. I mean, the menu that he served for the champions dinner this week,

Chang talked about it. It was the least expensive menu of any menu that any champion coming in had offered up

uh, over the last decade because it was like sliders, red fish and chili. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, right down the middle. But, but we, we have been looking to anoint somebody since tiger. And in a lot of ways, that's been the problem with golf. We got also used to having a guy, a Jordan, a LeBron in the sport and the absence of it, you just pointed it out. It was hard to actually find the guy now for the last

10 plus years as Tiger's been hurt and out. So we keep trying to see if that's going to happen. It's not. And I think that's probably part of the reason why there's been a struggle to get more attention, more eyeballs on golf. I think Bryson winning the Masters could actually catapult him into that position ahead of

Rory, even in this moment. I agree. I agree with this because Bryson now like 2 million subscribers to his YouTube thing and he gets a plus list people to come do breaking 50 with him. Who could have guessed?

Beefy Bryson. Unbelievable stuff. Everybody loves a comeback. Beefy Bryson and Beefy Nathan. When do we eat again? Do we eat before the next podcast segment? I'm going to need that. Nathan and I are both going on a diet after this week. Ozempa is going to show up for the PGA. He was housing Bojangles last night, dipping in a ranch, eating the rice thing. 1.30 in the morning.

I'm feeling great. - 1:30 in the morning. An amazing beef short rib and kimchi fried rice by Chef Chang at 1:30 in the morning. Unbelievable. - We come back from a party and we're kinda hungry and Chang's just there making stuff. - Chef Chang. He's like-- - Chang's the true hero. He's a bigger hero than Scotty Scheffler. - Oh, the number one, he owns Augusta. - So, does our fourth master's together? - At least, yes. - Anything different, anything better or worse?

Because I think the thing that always strikes me is that I get the exact same feelings, vibes every time. Well, here's the thing. It's the first without Tiger, which is why we began this whole segment. The thing that is galvanizing, where is he on the golf course when the tournament starts?

and let's go see how many, what we can catch. I mean, the most noteworthy thing from two years ago was the birdie that we saw with our own two eyes on Thursday on the 16th hole. Yeah. And that beautiful amphitheater that's around 16. Yeah. And the roar, he finished the first round at one under, you know, top 10 on the leaderboard was able to continue his

make the cut streak, made cut streak. And we were there to witness like that's that was in my memory banks, my sporting experiences. I have a lot of great ones. It'll always be there. Tiger on 16, you know, at the sort of end of his career, still rocking it at the Masters.

What about the par three people picking up their kids? That's you. You'll forever hold that against Russell Henley. He'll forever hold that against Russell Henley. This is an old guy thing for me. I just, I don't know where, how we started involving young kids into professional sports.

everyone has kids congratulations you had a kid uh here's your poppy mcelroy made a putt that was really like inconceivable we have kids now taking shots in the par three of these people that are waiting everybody's like here are my kids whiffing it into the water they're not even good here are my four kids that are gonna it's like i i actually wonder like did anybody who had their kids in the par three yesterday play well today

No, that's... I bet Justin Rose didn't have his kids out there. Maybe he did. Bryson doesn't have kids. Right. When you have little kids like that, and we've all had little kids, you're just constantly worried they're going to do something stupid. When they're six, five, seven...

and you have them out in a group of public people, like I would have been terrified of Ben. Ben would have like run into the freaking water and jumped in. - The only good moment for kids on that par three contest ever I think is when Jack Nicklaus had his grandson

take a tee shot and he made a hole in one. But at that point he was a grown man. So that's the thing. If it's Jack Nicklaus, you can do whatever you want with your kids. This is your thing. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Part three is a fun thing. I just wanted something to be grumpy about. I love the masters. Less kids. I didn't fly here to see other people's kids. Yeah. How about this? Don't go. You don't have to go to part three. Well, we did it. We only went, we only saw like one hole. To be fair. We didn't. Yeah. There we go. Um,

but we did see butler cabin we did we saw butler cabin scott van pelt give that man a kiss on the top of his head except he's too tall all right so you guys when are you doing the next fairway rolling sunday night recap we will be uh you know plausibly live for a reaction you should bring your both bring your kids in to chip into the podcast it'll be like the par three definitely not doing that you can lift your kids up during the pod yeah we'll have our last meal and uh

then I'm going to retire. I got to hang up the food. You know what's funny, though? You're going to be doing that at the same time your son is watching Clippers Warriors for playoff position and his head might explode. You might be cleaning up shrapnel of his head. Well, that'll be an interesting way to bring him into the pod. And you are you going to be able to get corporate tickets because you cowered it out and didn't get the

Thank you for holding this over my head. The only person who complains more about that than my son is you. That's good. I'm going to egg him on. That's part of my job. I convinced Chang's wife to have another kid. Lord have mercy. It's all about the kids. All right. Thanks, guys. Thanks. All right. Taping this part of the podcast with David Chang, Cousin Sal, James, Baby Doll Dixon, one of the biggest celebrities here at the Masters this week.

- So what were the highlights other than we, so let me set the scene. You don't have your phone at the Masters and if you're with a group of people, the goal is don't get separated from the people. It's the worst thing you can do because you have no way of contacting them. So you take it from here, so. - Yeah, and it was looking like back in 1992,

all my buddies, we went to Vegas and none of us had a phone and we were on top of the world. And then we all lost each other and we were like a pissed off mood and didn't talk to each other on the way back. And that's kind of how it was. You don't have a phone, you don't have anything. And you have baby doll who is about 65 minutes late in estimating where he's going to be at all times. So we, we picked this spot and we're like, we're going to be there three o'clock

And then we're going to move and you come back, you meet us with house and it's me and Chang and Nathan. You don't have baby doll. And I immediately panic because I'm like, this is it. This is now a kidnapping movie. We might never see him again. We've turned in our phones. So we have no way he doesn't have a phone. His phone's with my phone and it's just a complete mess. And how late were you baby? And when did you actually show up?

uh let's see and why did you feel like you had to buy more stuff he was shopping yeah you spent almost five thousand dollars on stuff this trip right i think a little more now but after the last after the last one after the pro shop at the masters which was thank you chang for yeah we're not talking about that so but yes um

I would say I was an hour late. I actually went before you guys were supposed to leave. You were an hour late after we begged you not to be one minute late. Fair enough. I was stopped by many people I knew and I just got distracted. And it was a confluence of errors, including the women who administer the phones. Yeah. First telling me that

Mr. Simmons took, because we checked our phones together, took all the phones. Right. So-

I had to, I walked to the parking lot and guys were gone and I borrowed one of the parking attendants. Should we have just left them? Yeah. And I think it was like, you had no problem leaving them and house. And I felt a little bad, like, Oh, this is our child acting up. Why is he kicking everyone in the shins? We should stay back and have a talk with him or at least make sure that he has a ride back because he doesn't have a phone and everything like that. But you have to understand like with him, I'm going to date myself here. This is like the toy when

when he's there. He is just shopping and nonstop shopping. He could shop like for hours and hours. And like, it's such a, uh,

It's so conflicting because you want to walk and you want to go, right? You're breaking Roger Bannister's four-minute mile. I'm just saying I like to get my steps in and see the course. You want to go. You're not even really looking at the course. You're checking out your sketches and all the way up. And baby's stopping every 25 feet like, yeah, this is where Seve Ballesteros bailed himself out on 14. I think it's important we got to back this up for those that haven't been to the Masters.

what kind of rules that we're talking about protocol. It's not just a cell phone. There's no running. There's no talking loudly. These are all things that he's broken. There's no smoking in undesignated areas. Broke that rule. There's no acts of, I won't say physical violence, but you can't like,

like do things that you have to be on your best behavior basically that's a problem for self step up from church so like every rule that the masters has baby doll room well then the other thing that happened today was more your fault because how is this my fault i mean i almost got tasered well let's see baby we were able to get

Well, we were able to get access to this special pro shop that's like for members only because somebody slipped us a badge. So a couple of us went in to see if there was anything. Yeah, we earned the badge. Yeah, you did TV today for his fan. I wasn't invited. But Baby comes out with another bag of stuff. And what happens next, Chang? We're trying to be on our best behavior, but clearly...

Cousin Sal's incapable of that. Yeah. And I don't know if people understand the long history you have of playing practical jokes and hijinks on Babydoll. Yeah. Like, I've heard stories of you throwing a suitcase out the window, luggage out of buildings. Yeah, I want to get into that. But in this case, it was a pretty mild-mannered one. You just took the bag and you whipped it into a roped-off area. I was a shopping bag of all the new purchases that Babydoll just bought. Yeah.

and you just threw it. Like, oh, let me see that. And I toss it over, what would it be, like two or three rows of ropes? To a place where there was a suddenly pissed off security guard wondering why that happened. Fully restricted area. And then multiple people came over. No, no, no. She threw it over the head of the security guard. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

That's what happened. So then baby's trying to get the bag back. They're deciding whether they want to kick us out or not. And Sal thinks this is all hilarious. As I said, when we were there, it was a close second to cousin Sal shoving me

very, very violently into the Rose Garden at the White House. Right, right. And I said, I may be the only guy in the history of the White House who's been shoved into the bodily throne into the...

The Rose Garden. Yeah, so this was like a two out of 10 for things you got as a baby. Yeah, this was nothing. I mean, Secret Service pulled out their weapons. I was picking thorns out of my ass. Did they really pull out their weapons? They literally drew weapons. They converged, yeah. They converged. It was insane. Hands on. Yeah, it was a good time. But you know Obama, though. You could have said like, Barack, baby doll. Baby, you know me, Mr. President. Come on. Bears Club. Don't throw me out. Vineyard Golf. Come on, baby.

Well, the number one thing I ever saw you do to baby doll was Jimmy's wedding. Oh, when, uh, which was a great weekend and just a really lovely night and everybody had a great time. And near the end, we're all talking, we're in the corner of wherever the giant reception is.

And we're talking, I think you're smoking. Of course. And they're bringing the cake out. And it's the three of us and Louis and I think Jimmy. And they're bringing this giant cake out. And they're walking by us. And we see the cake. And you just know from knowing the cuz for 15 years. More than that. You put it together. You put it together. Cake, Sal. Yes. And Sal's watching the cake. Tongue in cheek. Sal Strong went to the side of his mouth. Yes.

And you put it together and you just jumped sideways right as Sal was about. It was one of the greatest athletic moves I've ever seen. It was like those drills at the NFL draft camps. Like the cones? The cones, the side to side. It was incredibly athletic. As Sal was about to try to push you and then Jimmy admitted after, it would have been worth it. Even if you ruined the cake, the story would have been better. I wish I had known before.

It's one of the great what ifs in wedding history. I did a Jedi mind trick. I didn't even touch you that time. No, no. It was actually, I was very proud of myself. You almost fell over. You jumped so violently to the left. It was so like, for me at this stage of my life, at that stage, athletic. I've never seen Louis K laugh harder in the 20s.

25 years I've known him. He loved it. If baby had blown out his Achilles jumping sideways, would that have made it funnier or less fun? No, but much funnier. Way funnier. Yeah. One more. Let me just throw one more. We're in Atlanta. Once we're in a car, we get picked up by these executives. Jimmy's going there to get a Coca-Cola.

We hope. And we're going to tour the factory and everything else. And we get picked up by these guys. And I'm in the backseat with Baby, who's bragging about his sunglasses. Yeah, these are my $300 sunglasses. I couldn't bring my $500 sunglasses because I want to put that through the machine. But these are $300. I have like four or five.

And then I had a nerf of the song. I'm like, oh, let me see. Like, what the hell am I going to do when I see it? I take a look and it had a sunroof, which was open. And I like Michael Jordan, just perfect, like right through the sunroof, outside into traffic. You motherfucker, you did that. He didn't get the commercial. He didn't get it? Well, that same day was Coca-Cola, which is also a pretty good story. Right, right, right. He's in the boardroom. He's in the room.

These guys, big PowerPoint presentation, try to woo Jimmy. They're in suits and everything. And baby is always on the messed up, although Atlanta should be on the same time as New York. But I think I flew from LA with you guys, but anyway. Fell asleep during the meeting. And I take a bottle cap.

And I said, baby. And I toss that and you hit you. And you're like Spicoli and fast. I'm like, you dick. And nobody knew how to react. I have to set that up a little bit. Go ahead. Getting into the Coca-Cola headquarters in Atlanta, it's Fort Knox. There's three layers of security. It's like a big deal to be there. And I will give you an incredible amount of credit

We were sitting on opposite ends of a giant conference table. And, you know, only his superpower can kick in in those moments. And it was a 25, 30 foot conference.

winging of a bottle cap and it hit me square between the eyes. I mean, literally right between the eyes. And we stopped the meeting. We literally start arguing in the meeting. These Coca-Cola people were like, these people are insane. What is this? It was really insane. It was really crazy. But anyway, when do you think the cuz is peak of fucking with you? What was the peak year? If he was an athlete, what would you say? Early two thousands? Uh, yeah, I'd say the early aughts as they say. Yeah.

So like first year of Jimmy's show? Yeah. Somewhere in there? Yeah. Somewhere in the 2002 to 2008 range, I would guess. I remember when I started working for Jimmy's show and you were so legendary for fucking with everybody.

And then we went to San Diego for that Super Bowl thing. And I stayed in a room with you and people were like, you're staying in a room with Sal? Right. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, what's the problem? They're like, oh, good luck. Don't fall asleep. Yeah. And then by the time we went to bed that night, I was sufficiently nervous. It was like I was in like Shawshank waiting for fucking Boggs to come get me.

I didn't know what was going to happen, but you left me alone because I think I was the new guy. I had my sights on Baby Doll. You probably didn't think about it. Right, right, right. I don't know if people realize, like, they're longtime listeners, but this relationship is real. Like, your impersonation, like, I haven't spent this much time with Baby Doll in my life, but everything you've done over the years, I've heard thousands of impersonations. They're...

Very accurate. It really is. It's your, it's your magnet. I have this weird odd couple relationship. It's amazing. I honestly, I love Sal. I love him. Like funeral. What is going on? No, but I love it. That's why it's so sad. It's just like, it's so hard for me to get mad at him because I genuinely love him. And everybody does obviously. And that's his, that's why he has the ability to terrorize people and get away with it. That plus his,

he's got like superhuman strength that kicks in when he needs it to. Don't be afraid. No, I'm not afraid. I just know you could like bend me into a pretzel. But other than that, you know, we've had, I mean, the stories are, I mean, I was leaving to catch a red eye. I had my bags packed and we taped Jimmy Kimmel Live. I had my luggage there.

And somehow somebody catered in Bay City. It was a nine-year anniversary of the show. Nine-year anniversary. So that's when it was. For whatever insane reason, he decides to take the tray of meatballs and red sauce and just dump it over my head violently. I was covered. We have pictures of that. It was on the ceiling. I'm not kidding. The sauce was on the ceiling. And I'm like leaving in 20 minutes to go to the pool.

If I didn't kill you then, when would I have done it? I knew it was a bad idea, but it would be good for this. I just instinctively. This is the side like people know Sal and my podcast from Guest Alliance and we've been together forever, but they don't know this other side of Sal as much. Right. I see. I think the best Sal story is the security camera.

on J.K.L. in the outside of Jimmy's office when our friend Brad started choking on a sandwich, which he would choke from time to time because he doesn't have all his teeth. But he started choking and he waved over. Our friend Scott. Scott comes over and starts performing the high book on Brad who's choking to death. And instead of being concerned, you could see Sal in the back of the footage saying,

running over, grabbing his phone and videotaping Brad instead of helping Brad. Two things I don't know. It's the most perfect security camera clip I've ever seen. I didn't know the Heimlich and I didn't know if these security guards were catching it. I had to document it for myself. If you knew you had the camera, maybe you still would have filmed it. But Brad lived. He lived, right? Yeah, he did. He lived. We think. You are the most twisted bastard.

Have you tortured Chang or are you still feeling afraid? I'm afraid. I give him as much respect as I can because I live in a constant state of fear that I'm going to get fucked with to some degree because I've seen it. I don't want to be on the receiving end. You're nicer now. You're older. You're a nicer guy now. But in Chang's case, he's already tortured. I mean, can you find a more tortured man? He's not like bragging about shit like baby. Yeah.

It is true. Yeah. It's just a mess. This is true. He could also poison any meal he wants. This is also a good point. I didn't even think of that. I know. I told him I was going to do that. If he fucked with me yesterday. Well, Chang cooked dinner last night. We had a, we had some Fando people over some other people. It was very fun.

And for some reason, baby decided to give a toast. I don't know why. I thought that was a nice toast. Baby was very social for about an hour and a half and then disappeared to make a one and a half hour business call at nine o'clock.

and was just gone the rest of the night and then claimed, I was very social. I was. I talked to everybody. I did. I missed the second half of the dinner you were on a call. Did Babydoll talk to you? I think I literally spoke to every person at that. Who has a nine o'clock ET business call? Babydoll, I got business to do. I got deals to do. You had a dinner. It's like we flew out here to schmooze people and

The big part of it was your cousin, you know? Me? I think you read Jon Stewart a bedtime story every night. How dare you? I think that's what goes on. How dare you? No, but you know, as you said it, it's kind of genius. He gives the toast.

to give the impression that he's there for most of the night, knowing that he's going to bounce 20, 30 minutes later. Fair enough. That was not why I did it, but it worked out, though. You said nice things about Channing. Of course. And then he put me in a weird, awkward position when he complimented a colleague of ours, a friend of ours that works at a network.

And we love him very much. And you didn't know who he was. And then I've never felt this way before. It's like, you don't know this, but David was singing your praises. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was going on and on and on about all the compliments I was talking about this guy. And I sort of felt weird. Yeah.

I didn't know what to do. That's your own psychosis, baby doll. That's not my problem. That's yours. That was a baby doll move. By the way, not only did I do you a solid, because he said, wow, he said that? I said, yes, of course he did. He never says anything nice about anybody. Right. He was like, really? Wow, that's really nice to hear. It was very sweet. So, yeah, you shouldn't be. You know, part of the secret

We've known Baby for a while. He's known him longer than me, but part of his secret is compliments are currency. That's what he does. He always figures out a nice way

to be like just hanging out with Chang one day, be like, you know, it's just amazing everything you've accomplished. I was talking to somebody, he probably didn't talk to anybody, I was talking to somebody the other day about just how incredible your journey's been and it's just awesome to see, baby. Great job, baby. And then you feel great and you're like, you know who I love? Baby doll. I'm a businessman. Yeah, where did you learn this? Like, honestly. I don't like violence. Blood is a big expense, you know what I mean? So I go the opposite way. So,

So, so, but, but no, seriously, I, I, I meant what I said. And by the way, you were right. Josh was a hell of a nice guy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No names. Sorry. Sorry. It's just not in the right name. Is that wrong?

Go make your call. Josh is the only guy that... Wrong Josh. Sorry. That's hilarious. One of the other things I love with babies... That's why I call people baby doll. There you go. What the masters when you run into competitors. I liked a lot of those guys that I met today. I don't... I mean, they leave and then you

one person and then they leave and I don't know. So yeah, we had last night, we had an incident where we ran into an agent that we both know and he was, I don't want to say, but he's a little sloppy and it was like, all right, there's going to be a two minute conversation. We know how let's just be done in two minutes. And he's like, and then he's introducing baby to someone else. He's like,

this is James baby doll Dixon. He manages John Stewart and John Oliver. He doesn't manage John Oliver, but baby wants this conversation over so fast. Doesn't even correct them. Right. But he locks eyes with me like, all right, I'll let him go. 30 seconds later, he's telling this guy, uh,

You know, oh, not only that, but Baby Doll is a member of four clubs, four golf clubs, pretty prestigious. Like, excuse me? Four? Nine. He's all right that it gets out that he manages John Albert or something, but heaven forbid. You can't get country clubs and cars, bro. Absolutely not. I have my priorities. So we're up to nine? That's the number? You got rid of a couple. I think so. I'd have to...

Do the math. Ridiculous. Do you belong to more or less than former president Barack Obama? I'm going to go with more. Right. How many do you think he, is he paying for these country clubs? You think? I think I don't think so. I don't, I don't know that country clubs charge.

They shouldn't. I mean, he served our country, so they should be honored to have him as a member, right? They should waive the initiation and have him just pay dues. I'm sure they're delighted to have him. Absolutely. As opposed to having you smoking all over the course. I'm a dues-paying member. That's a lot of dues. How much is that? Is that like a million dollars? Yeah, that is a lot of dues, baby. He claims it's

I feel like you write it off. Like, what do you do? I don't write it off. No. Will you teach him, Chang, about like charity and stuff like that, that he can put his money to other places? What's the point of having nine country club memberships? I just love it. I love being able to go to different clubs and different states. You just want to be able to snap your fingers. If I'm in Florida, I know I could just go. I don't have to make a call. Correct. I'm a country club hoarder.

Can you sell the memberships? No, no. But you get money back when they... What happens then? Some of them and some not. It depends on their arrangement with the members. But I don't plan on ever...

doing that because he today we watched him have a long emotional um reunion with somebody from an old country club that he no longer belongs to yeah that one i i left that was one on long island i i i upgraded so i i didn't need that one of your country clubs has obama in the club yes have you played with obama i did not play with him no i asked him when we were going to play

But I have not golfed with him. It feels like he played with him because he followed him on every hole and yelled words of encouragement. Mr. President. You call him Mr. President? Absolutely. I wouldn't call him Barack. You don't first name? No.

Unless he said to me, call me Barack, I would never call him Barack. Who do you know better? Rory McIlroy or Barack Obama? Do you call Barack Barry? That's how well you know him? Of course not. Nobody calls him. Of course not. This is another segment I wanted to do. This reminds me. Last time we talked about greatest celebrity smokers that you've had cigarettes with. We wanted to do blank canvas if you could have a cigarette

Top three people you want to have a cigarette with, you haven't had a cigarette with. Is Obama in the top three? Like you're at the Vineyard Country Club. You see him out there. Maybe he sees you out there. I'm going to say yes. So he'd be in the top three. Why not? I mean, yes. All right. Who else? Anybody? Do you mean smokers or non-smokers? It doesn't matter.

I mean, it has to be a realistic smoking. He was, at one time anyway, a light closet smoker, as I understand it. Oh, I don't even think it was really a closet smoker. I think it was in the Rose Garden, pinching butts. Got it, got it. Hey, I would be too if I was... Who else though? Anybody? Is there anybody you really... I mean, Sinatra would have been amazing. Oh my God, that would have been amazing. Johnny Carson? Oh, exactly. By the way, Johnny Carson...

Why are you letting them make your list? One of maybe the top person in show business, you know how I say I've met everybody? Yeah. That I never met. Really? And based on where my career went, he would have been number one on the list in the late night world of icons. Johnny. You remember me, Johnny. Yeah.

Yeah, Carson would be good. Those old 70s Carson shows. He's smoking on the show. You had Ray Romano when he was on, right? You know what? I don't know. Yeah, probably. When did Carson retire? 95? 92. 92. 92? Yeah.

Everybody Loves Raymond probably had not premiered yet, so I don't know. I feel like Baby's had cigarettes probably with all the best possible people to have a cigarette with, right? There's not a lot of smokers left. I'll tell you who I smoked. I mean, you had three with Chang last night. It's a violent coffee this morning. I was violently coughing this morning. But it was more for you, like...

I mean, it's a Mount Rushmore cigarette for you. It's very true. I was just emulating my hero right here. And I think it's a good story today. I didn't realize I was talking to almost a rival agent of yours and he confided to me because I didn't know who he was.

I'd love to get Smoke a dart with Babydoll Yeah this literally happened That's so wild to me He's right over there in that rocking chair Why don't you knock yourself out Yeah he went over Pulled out of parliament and immediately got heckled by Babydoll Yeah it was Parliament you're right Baby didn't like that Come on now you're going to smoke Those filters alone Right

or not it's like double a baseball for cigarettes now doing parliaments but uh you reminded me of something uh now i can't think of it about the uh smoking wait what were we just talking about anyway this agent that was really an honor yeah before that but anyway we've spoken a lot of butts with a lot of people the past week yes so it's been an honor so the honor was mine so what's what's the greatest single out of nowhere cigarette you've had with somebody

Oh, that's what I was going to say. Thank you. I assume we're all huge Game of Thrones fans. This is good. Which one do you think it is, guys? Oh, can we guess? Yeah, hold on. Yeah, let's guess. Peter Dinklage. Wait, let's see. Peter Dinklage would have been a good one. Queen Cersei? Nope. Jon Snow. Boom. You had a cigarette with Jon Snow? I exchanged numbers with him because I smoked like two Emmys in a row with him.

He was one of the greatest guys I've ever hung out with. And that was like...

I couldn't believe I was smoking with Jon Snow. I can't believe the way you defended the North. That was fucking awesome. Let's have a smoke. Let's celebrate. I remember at Jimmy's wedding, we were out where the food trucks were and the valets, the three of us, for like an hour and a half just smoking, watching the people come by, and then Sal just started to trouble, which I won't talk about, but we had it.

It was like an hour that my wife, both of our wives were like, where are our guys? We were just, we were out with baby. But kid Harrington was, uh, was, was definitely up there that in fact, that's what, I mean, honestly, that's why I hung out with him. If I was a non-smoker, I never would've got to hang out with him. He was such a, such a great guy. Really. It was so fun. This could lead to a kid Harrington resurgence. Yeah.

You never know. This is it. I mean, he's not, he's short, right? Yeah. He's like my height. It's good. It's a good matchup. That's why you liked him so much. Tale of the tape. 1700 cigarettes a day. What was the, what was the, I can't even remember. What was the little, like this, the, the city that guarded the wall. Sounds like you need to watch game of Thrones again. I do. I mean, I need to know that. My hand. Anyway, the night watch.

That's what it was. Speaking of smokers, I don't care if you want to cut this, that's fine. But baby, you know how he brags about knowing people. We saw it with Rory McIlroy. Rory didn't pay attention at all in the time of day. This will happen. Oh, baby claims to know people. He doesn't know people.

Oh, Sean Penn is on the show, Jimmy. I have to meet him. I'm going to go see him. Oh, yeah. Learn your monologue. And then he goes on to tell stories about his relationship with Sean. Maybe they did nefarious things. Maybe he was smoking more than cigarettes back in the day. He tells me the story or whatever. So maybe he's like, all right, I'm going to go see Sean. And I'm like, I'm fucking going with you. No doubt about it. I need to see that. So I go in there and he's like, baby, remember me from... Where would you have known him even? What...

In the early 90s. In the early 90s, baby, we did this, we drove here, we went this, on this gig. Okay. Oh, come on, baby. And he's like, you know you're biding your time here because he's not being forthcoming or whatever. I'm like, come on, you smoked whatever with baby back in 1990. You don't remember? And then publicist shoots up like, get out of here. You two get out of here now. And he's like, you know me, baby. You know me. You

The last words were, you know me, baby. But I think the line of the week...

which I've enjoyed so much is no matter what's gone on, Sal's like, listen, we're not looking for any trouble. It's really great. It works every time. About what? About 800 important people guarding whatever or leading you through to somewhere ever. And it's a nice way to F with people. After the Tuesday pod, we had some people say, baby should host a smoking podcast for the ringer. Yeah.

What would that look like? I don't know. I mean, you're the artist. Maybe you were so recognized. Maybe you have like video podcasts are becoming more and more popular. Maybe it's one smoke a baby. Well, one thing for sure what would have to happen is. It's like the. Well, it's like hot wings. Hot wings. Whoever comes in must smoke. Hot ones. Yeah. If you're in the room, you're smoking. Of course. Multiple cigarettes. Yes. The entire time. First gas Chappelle.

Oh, that would be awesome. I love this idea for a show. This is genius. What are you doing? Baby becomes talent out of nowhere. All from my crazy habit. Well, it's- My terrible addiction. You're going to need some source of income once your guys start retiring from TV. What are you going to do?

I was going to say. They got to afford cigarettes. They're expensive. This sounds great, except baby has to negotiate his own deal with you. It'd be a nightmare for you. I'm so insulted. In this case, I'll only take 20% for myself. Do the insulted thing. That's a good question. Yeah, because we...

You know, you've been in our lives for a while. We kind of know all your moves from a negotiating standpoint. Yes, what I do now. No, just these are your tricks. Yes. Number one, completely insulted by the offer. I'm always insulted. By the first offer. First offer, can't, I don't know if I can take it back to so-and-so like that. I just can't believe. By the way, my rule is no matter what the offer is, no matter if it's triple what I was hoping it was,

It's the first offer and there's more money there. Okay. So he's like Johnny sack when they all told that Jenny sack joke about her ass. Like I'm insulted. He's like, I am good. We're going to deal with this. Deal with the insult. Um, second move is sad and disappointed. Oh,

Yes. You're not just disappointed. You're actually like bummed out. Yes. You can't believe that it's gotten this part of the deal. And I often genuinely am. The deal has gotten to this point and you just can't fathom how we got here. And then third is angry. Yes. The anger switch will go on too. Those are the three moves and you just kind of decide which card to play. But my other thing is I'm also very kind and I'm very complimentary to people. I am. Oh, yeah. And...

Listen, I always like to leave a little bit on the table. Do you feel that it's a challenge to get through those stages? Like, oh, I really, I reeled them in. It's like the five phases of grief. Yeah, I told them I was insulted. I was sad. I was angry. And look at that. It bumped up 25%. Did you ever get a first offer and you were like, I'm actually not insulted. That's a great offer. No. Okay. What was the most insulted you ever were? Oh, God.

That would be a tough one to answer because I've been highly insulted many more times than I could ever count. I'm doing this a long time. Is there anybody who's not in the executive business anymore that you can discuss who was the most insulting offer person? No. Anybody back in the day? I had some jousts with Comedy Central. Yeah. Yeah.

I stuck it to them, baby. I was pretty insulted on several occasions there. Oh, I'm sorry. But it ultimately works out. Did you ever talk to a therapist about these people that insult you? No, I don't go to a therapist. I come from a long line of...

Not believing in therapy. Hard nose. Yeah, yeah. Keep it inside. I'm old school, baby. No, figure it out. Chang, does this make you more or less likely to hire a baby for representation? I feel like we almost had a moment last night smoking cigarettes. Of course we did. I was like, remember? I was like, is...

Is he representing me now? I don't know what was going on. Yeah, what was that thing? Someone approached you. Yeah. Oh, you said how you can't get out of deals. Like people, well, you can't get specific, but people automatically sign you up to cater. A baby just took over and gave me a lecture on what I need to do. Never let you do that. That's right.

Listen, we'll talk after this podcast, baby. How many Asian clients on your roster, baby? You'd be number one with a bullet. Yes! A bridge, you know, baby. You'd be one of one, baby. Thank God. Baby. Oh, go ahead, Jay. Can I go back? Because I had to ask. When you got, you threw, people need to know, they were like, the bag was in the air. Security guards are angry.

And they're yelling at him, like, please do not cross the line because there's like different sections that you're not like buffered from the secret area. That's an extra wrinkle that I'd love when it's 100% my fault, but then he goes and retrieves it. And the bag went over like, you know, 20 feet over the security area. The entire time, I don't know if you were listening, I wanted to ask, did you hear the security guard saying,

do not cross the line. And you just kept on going. Yeah. He pissed me off. That cameraman was sitting, he wasn't filming anything. He was just sitting there. The bag was basically at his feet with all my shit sprouting on the ground. He just looked at it and I'm like, sir, excuse me, can I get that bag? And he just kind of like ignored me. And I was like, you know what? F this guy. I'm going to go get it myself. Is that part of the Dixon negotiating tactics? I tried. It didn't work. He was insulted. Yeah.

I do love such a great situation. That is your ideal because you're off the hook. That's what I'm saying. You're in trouble. You baited me. I did exactly what you wanted me to do, and I got in trouble. These guys are being dicks. And we all got in trouble because of you. We had to move on. I scattered. Yeah, yeah. I got out of there. I didn't want to get kicked out. There wasn't a golfer within four football fields of us. Yeah, it's so ridiculous, though.

And that was like a weird, like double barrier that had no reason to be. Right. It's just like, why are there all these gates there? Just so they could yell at you. I was so mad at you. So baby, baby, what's left career wise? What's left for you? You have grandkids now. Listen, here's what it is. I'm never going to retire ever.

You're stuck with me until they throw the dirt on me. I love what I do so much. I love everybody that I work with. All right, this isn't a commercial. No, I know, but that's the truth. I don't know what's happening right now. Here's my retirement plan. Hopefully we all slow down a little bit one day and we're still working, but it's not as...

And, you know. He just wants to go to his five-bedroom house and go back there every night. Yeah. And then sleep on the couch. I'm a simple man. Four bedrooms are just empty. I'm a simple man. All I want is 10%. Come on. How many hours a day do you sleep? I'd say between five.

Four and five a day. On a normal day. Is it a straight four to five a day? Yes. But then as Jimmy told me in 1998, you're waking up because you're having nicotine fits. And that had, I swear, that had never occurred to me. Like, I don't know why. It's like stupid. I should have figured that out on my own after all these years. And I went, holy shit, he's right. I'm waking up because...

I'm having a nicotine fit. And now I take a sleeping pill every night and it still doesn't work. So anyway, what can I say? Nicotine fit means your body needs to have conditioned it. I'm waking up to have a cigarette, but I don't realize it. Why don't you just have the cigarette and then go back to bed?

It's impossible for me to go back. Yeah. I mean, you'll see I'm often texting you guys at four o'clock in the morning my time. I've seen those texts and wondered why you're up at 1.38 Pacific time. This is why I'm out on my porch smoking cigarettes and doing emails and texts. And why you can't sleep with your wife in the same bed. Talk about insulting. Well, that's the coughing.

Oh, okay. Yeah, that was a crazy barrage of coughing we heard the other day. No, it's not the coughing. I cannot sleep without watching TV. Right. And she doesn't like TV on once she's ready to go to bed. See, that's how he lets his clients know that he saw their shows. He's not technically lying. No, I'm not. Because you have the shows on as you're asleep. Yes. Or I'm dozing often, but I'm...

I'm making an attempt to watch. You have been caught lying before. Remember we used to tape two Kimmel's on a Thursday. Yeah. And he had, would have claimed to have seen a show. You did get sloppy a couple of times. I absolutely got nailed. Definitely. There were some TV watchers in baby's life. Great monologue last night, baby. And then we find out he had like no electricity. No, it's shower. We go, what are you talking about, baby? Tell one joke. Yeah.

Yeah. What did Perry Farrell say to Jimmy? What did one thing like, but then you commissioned, you had your assistants watch and report back to you on. Correct. Yeah. Why not? They send you like bullet points, emails. Yeah. Or, or, and now they say, are you going to do that with Chang when you're representing Chang? Yes. I think this is going to be a fruitful relationship. I love it. Listen, I'm so upfront and transparent. That's what's going to happen. Listen, I'm going to lie to you sometimes about watching your shit. You're never going to watch anything I do. That's okay. I,

I'll try. How's that? I'll try. The Netflix, they're telling Bella, like, we don't know what's happening at dinnertime. It might not come back. His agent's driving a hard bargain. James Dixon. The guy who gave the toast? He's insulted. I don't know what to do. I should...

One of the famous people here started to tear up. It was like the Indian that was littering. A little tear came down her face. Oh, the old commercial from 50 years ago. Yeah, she started to tear up. How do you pitch a new client? Let the audience know. I don't give that out. Come on, baby. Come on, no way. No? No way. Absolutely not. I don't give out my trade secrets. You insulted him. You insulted him. You insulted him a little bit. How dare you? A little bit.

A little bit. Do people ask you, hey, how do you prepare that dish? You wouldn't give that. He must be. He would sometimes. I would sometimes. I mean, he has a show where he gives away the dishes every episode. But what's important to lay the groundwork? Yeah. You don't have to get into specifics. Baby's a relationship guy. That's right. And what are you looking for? Would he click with somebody on a friendship level? That's right. And we'll say that again. What are you looking for? Like, what's barking your eye when you are like, I got to represent this person?

Right. Cause you have such a crazy roster of talent over the years. Well, now it's just, all right. You got to make a lot of money north of $3 million. Say that again. That's what attracts you at this point in your life. Do you make at least 3 million a year, baby doll? I need to know. Cause if I can't, if I can't money grab 300 grand, we need to talk much later. How's that?

I'm just kidding. He's already insulted of yourself. I've learned one thing is that you are fearless and relentless and you have no shame or embarrassment whatsoever. But that's fair enough. Representing his client at all costs. Fair enough. You know, liking someone and wanting to work with them, especially at this point in my life, matters greatly. Yeah. And that is a criteria for sure.

Baby, could you do a baby doll hall of fame that you could open in Long Island with like your best clients ever? Little plaques. Oh, that's good. Maybe put that in the basement. Yes, I could. I'll put it in the golf sim. So who would be the first client inducted?

Jay Stu with a bullet. That's your longest relationship basically, right? It is. Yes, it is. Since what year? Well, I wasn't even an agent. Right. I would say we're going on 38 years. And John. 38 years? Yes. John wasn't qualified to be a client and I wasn't qualified to represent him. But I said to him, listen, if I get promoted, you're going to be my first client.

So is he first ballot and then we'll take another season before some other inductees come in? Can we walk out? He...

Almost screwed up John's 1990s. Oh, yeah. Do that. Yeah. Because initially MTV show. Well, how was that a screw up? It got canceled. That was it was the best and most hottest platform. Take over the Larry Sanders show. Didn't happen. That's another story for another day. He was in a horror movie called The Faculty. I feel like that was your fault.

He's got a goatee on. He ends up turning into an alien. Well, as John would say, you know, he learned very quickly. I'm glad he stood by you during all these decisions. Powerbomb by John Cena. That was recent. You let him get powerbombed. I was against it. He didn't listen. Insulting again. But Daily Show, I mean, then you talked to him. I redeemed myself. You talked him into that. Yeah. I don't know how he trusted you after the faculty.

That's a really good point. I never thought of it that way. Yeah. But then there was Big Daddy. That was a good one for John. Big Daddy was good. That was really good for John. How about Playing by Heart? Did anyone ever see that movie? My wife likes that movie. She does? John was really good in that. He was good in that. It was very good. You might not have seen it yourself. I'm looking at you now. I saw it. I don't remember it, but I know he was good in it at the time. Can't you tell the Larry Sanders story or are you still not allowed?

I don't know if John would want that. Oh, let's hear it. I won't tell. Do you want to tell the way I don't know if I know it out of respect to John, I'm not going to speak at a school. There was a moment there though, when it seemed like the show is going to continue with him hosting the show and Larry in retirement. Yes, that is accurate. I would think yes, but yes, it was never guaranteed or firm, but that was maybe the plan. And yeah,

Many people speculated on that. So that was, that's not speaking out. No, I finally found the right question. I just don't want to, yeah, listen, I can't talk about clients deals and shit like that. That, that, that wouldn't be okay. Were you angry, disappointed?

What's the third thing he does? Disappointed? We more insulted, disappointed, or angry when the Larry Sanders thing didn't work out? I was rip shit. What's the most rip shit you've been? Is that number one? No. What's number one? All right. So one through seven involves Daniel Callison, then eight is what? That's not true. Okay.

Let's just say. Yeah, let's just say. I actually can't talk about it, but that was not the number one. Can't you just talk in vague where we don't actually say what happened, but you can give us a hint of what happened? I'll just say it was some shenanigans in late night television, and I'll leave it at that. I know what it is. You may or may not, but

There was some, yeah, I know what you're talking about. There was some possible shanking in the works that you found out about. That's all I'm going to say. Yeah, it's not even worth talking about. But to be honest, how lucky are you to have navigated this representing three heavy hitters at late night and avoiding conflicts for the most part for two and a half seconds? Listen, conflict is good. It can also benefit. My knowledge...

of all those can often help each of them but even as they're competing against each other right i know when you worried one of them at some point like hey what's going on here does he does he have my best interest of course i do that's why they know i always do that is never in question ever that's not what jimmy said once any last questions shane before we wrap

What happened with the gnomes, baby? Oh, yeah. What happened with the gnomes? Stupid gnomes. You wanted the gnomes badly? That pissed me off. You said a lot of times. The masters, they have these gnomes that you can get in different parts of the course. And people...

people show up at 6.30 in the morning and try to buy the gnomes. Yeah. I don't really fully understand. Most of them, so they can resell them on eBay for a profit. That obviously isn't my motivation. You want to put them in one of your seven houses. Yeah, I want to display them, of course. Why? They're dumb. If you're not reselling them, what's the freaking point? It's like the Beanie Babies of the golf world. Yeah, speaking of Beanie Babies. Yeah, I had them. One could say that was freaking dumb.

But I did it with the hope to resell it. You collect the Beanie Babies? We don't need to talk about that. So here's why I was disappointed. But I wanted to resell them, though. You did? Well, yeah. I wasn't attached to them. But here's what's disappointing about you getting screwed over on the gnome today that he thought he was getting. I'm positive Sal would have broken it at some point.

I know you were thinking about it. Oh, baby, let me see what that would have been. You know, God works in mysterious ways. You're absolutely right. It was a gift from God that I did not get that. It would have been so good. It would have been great. It would have been build up all week and then crash. Simmons, turn your camera on. You're going to want to catch this. He would have like drop kicked it. You know, like really smashed it badly somehow. I know. Baby, who's going to win the Masters?

After first round today, I mean, I know Scheffler is always hard to bet against, but it's such a boring pick. Well, I picked, I picked Olberg and I'm going to go with him. He's in the, he's in the mix. He had a really great shot, 32 on the back.

I'm going with the guy picked here. Who do you have? I had Morikawa. He was minus three, then bogey, bogey, bogey to even. I'll stick with him, but I almost feel like at this point you put money on Scheffler because if he's like this tomorrow, I think he'll be like minus 41, 50. Yeah.

have any opinions, Shane? In our bet, I'd pick Scheffler and Straka. And Straka's like third from last place. Yeah, stay with Straka. I'm staying with Straka. He did look strapping. What did he finish at? Plus what? Plus six. Oh, God. Epic comeback. This is going to be a movie that you're going to be able to represent. Baby, the match. Here we go.

I do wonder if Beefy Bryson might, this could be the moment for him. We talked about that earlier. He's one of my picks. He's in the mix. He's definitely in the mix. He's in the mix. But who do you think will win? I think it's going to be one of the big guns. This feels like a big guns tournament. Like a Schaffler kind of thing? Yeah, just one of the real, this feels like a moment this weekend. And just in general, a crazy sports weekend with this guy.

you know, all this stuff happening in basketball all at the same time. Cause God forbid the NBA isn't on a weekend where, you know, other major shit has happened. Can I ask you as, as the sports guy question? Yeah. Is this, is the master's,

arguably the greatest sporting event overall for like a weekend sport, like on, like a more than one basketball game or one, you know, game seven of a world. Is the masters, the best sporting event. If you love it, not even if you love golf, just in general,

I have an answer, but do you want to answer that, Chang, in your opinion? I do, and I think it is. For a consistent basis, not a one-off. It's not like an underdog that reaches the Super Bowl because this is like Disneyland for adults. My excitement every time... I said this today. We're getting into the gates, and I was like, this is what my kids feel like going to Disneyland. Yes. And I hate everything after a while. I'm not... You're happy every day, right? Yeah, I'm so happy, and...

it's, you don't even have to like golf to have a good time here. The food's great. The hang, this felt like we're like a college road trip this week, you know, and this is the guy that went for the first time. What do you think? I love it. I love everything about it, but I don't think you could say that. I don't even have an answer for you, but I think it's,

eliminated because most people would rather be home on Sunday watching on TV than following the action because it's so hard, right? It's so hard. I had a million times. Well, it's two different answers though. It's like, it's fun to go, but you also want to be home on the last day so you can catch everything. So as a televised event, the Sunday Masters, is that the greatest day in sports? Well, it's the greatest if good stuff's happening. Yeah.

Right. So I was thinking today, cause I was talking to somebody who hadn't been here before and you know, we're walking the course, they aren't huge golf fans. And, um, and I was trying to explain why I love the masters. It's the only sporting event.

That's exactly the same every year, but the people have changed, you know, and it goes back so far. Yes. The history. And, you know, I've been here four times and each time it feels the same. The holes are the same. It's still cool in all the same ways. But the really cool thing is like you said, your first masters that you remember was like 1970. Yeah.

Yes, Billy Casper won in 19, so I was eight years old. Yeah, so I vaguely remember the 75 one as my first one, but I just remember Nicholas in the 70s and hoping he would win the Masters and becoming attached to him. But then you just think these different generations just move through. It's the exact same course.

there's nothing else really like it right like they don't play the world series or the super bowl like nothing has like the continuity and even in golf like all the tournaments are in different places correct like it'll be like oh cool the us opens in pebble beach this year but it might not have been for so it's just i think that's what it is and like even when we were talking in the last segment about like seeing speed and like speed is on the 12th hole and you're just like

Right, right. As they say, tradition like no other. It's true. The players have baggage with the course and the holes. Yes.

And they hit these different stages. Like you saw Freddie Couples today. Now he's the old guy. He takes the Tom Watson spot. There is nothing like the walk with you guys. You guys knowing the ins and outs of every hole. And hey, if we're in this spot, we could see three holes. And aside from just Amen Corner, there's just a whole bunch. Like, oh my God. Like if you walked around your neighborhood, I don't know if you would know the streets as well as you do like the holes and everything. Well, and especially like being able to be that close to all these famous golfers. Yeah. Where you can just be like all of a sudden...

There's Rory. He's three feet away walking by us. Why is he ignoring me? Why is that really tan guy screaming his name? I literally breathe it in. The smell, because I know olfactory, even though I probably don't have the smell I should have after all these cigarettes, I literally breathe it in to try to capture. Everything is...

is uniquely Augusta National. Even the smells. We're all on our best behavior, right? For the most part. But we've been told all these stories this week about players being so nervous because of the history too. So it just makes it such a special place. So if somebody wanted to ask you to cook the dinner, that would be your number one dinner you've ever cooked?

I would probably put it up there. Yeah, for sure. I would be a no, no brainer. I'm going to do it. You mean like the champions dinner? Yeah. Oh, that's a great one. Here's what I'd say to you. They'd be lucky to have you. Oh, wow. You're new Asian. Save it for the Amazon. Exactly. Augusta called. I did not like their offer. Yeah.

They wouldn't even pay for a sous chef, baby. I don't know if we should do this. Insult. I'm insulting. You should be insulting. That fucking place. Never going there again. Jackasses. Here's what I would do with that. If they ever called, I'd say, you know what? We're honored. Right. For this offer. And can I stay on the course? In fact...

He will obviously do it pro bono. Right. But there'll be just one little, one little cost. We get to play the course on Monday. We're all playing the course. Yeah. Really? And everyone's getting a gnome. And throw in three gnomes. And you haven't played the course. I have not. Baby, we got to get, we got to remedy this. I've played it in my mind. What hole would you be the most excited to play? That's a great question. I'm going to say...

I'm going to say 15 because I would want to see if I could get, yeah. I mean, if I really crushed my drive from the members team, there's an absolute chance that I could put it on in two. And we're talking about baby today or baby when the swing speed was not as apex. Today.

I will tell you, and then I will boil you in. Very quick. I came within a razor's hair of getting on the course. Okay, good. I get, I'm going. I get invited on Monday. They play the, they allow the media to play. Yeah. In placements are the same as Sunday. Right. Okay. Les Moonves, Ray Romano, me, and someone else. I can't remember who.

I'm literally in my garage. I'm ready to go. It's the next day. I'm home. It's Sunday. I'm literally taking toothpicks and cleaning, cleaning the, uh, the grooves of my irons. I I'm ready to go. I'm not kidding. I'm shy. I get it. I get a text from Ray, baby doll. I'm so sorry. You got bumped less invited, like the CEO of AT&T and you're out. I'm really sorry.

And that was it. I was on my way to go down there and I got bumped at the last minute. Toothpick stuck in his throat. Stuck it in my eyes. And that was the last. Yeah. Wow. That was like when Ralph Cox got cut from the 1980 Olympic hockey team. That is the last cut. Most insulting. That's about as sad as I've ever been. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. But I'll get on. I know I will. I haven't really worked it.

I haven't tried very hard. I figured it would come organically. I think we have to try to get more involved. We're going to make this happen for you, baby. Yeah. If you guys do that,

I love you more than I love you now and I'll be forever indebted. How's that? Well, you're his agent now. So he signed a contract. I got some papers out there, baby. Baby, a pleasure as always. Thank you. Thanks, bro. All right. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Sal and Babydoll and Chang and House and Nathan. Don't forget to listen to Fairway Rowan on Sunday right after the Masters ends. You can get their recap podcast there. Don't forget about Zach Lowe's new podcast, The Zach Lowe Show.

Don't forget that I'm coming back on Sunday night with Rosillo. We're going to wait until after all the Sunday night games and the masters and, uh, and we'll try to break down early preview of the playoff picture and everything we saw over the weekend. I am looking forward to that. Don't forget about Celtic city on max. First six episodes are up. Um, we just finished the bird error about to go into the nineties on Monday night on HBO. So stay tuned for that.

And enjoy the weekend. I will see you on Sunday night.

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