Sam Darnold has led the Vikings to a 32-touchdown season and has shown the ability to come back in games, leading to a belief that he could be a valuable player in the playoffs. His poise under pressure and consistent performance have impressed them.
Jalen Hurts' concussion not only affected the Eagles' performance in Week 16, but it also has significant implications for their playoff seeding. If he doesn’t play, the Eagles might lose a crucial game, affecting their position in the playoffs.
The 49ers' loss to Miami, combined with Brock Purdy's poor performance and the trade-offs of his supporting cast, has significantly reduced their chances of making the playoffs. Their defensive struggles and lack of offensive firepower in cold weather games have also contributed.
Despite playing on a struggling Patriots team, Drake May has shown promise with his mobility and ability to make plays. They believe he could be a star if he continues to develop and finds himself in a better-coached system.
The Raiders' win moved them from the second to the sixth pick in the draft, impacting their ability to select a top quarterback prospect. They discussed the potential trade scenarios and the importance of drafting a linemen to protect their future QB.
Rickey Henderson was ahead of his time in terms of on-base percentage, steals, and power. He was also known for his unintentional comedy and third-person comments, which would have made him a social media sensation and a valuable personality for Major League Baseball.
They went through various key games, such as Chiefs at Steelers, Ravens at Houston, and Lions at 49ers, providing their insights on the lines and potential outcomes. They also discussed how these games could affect playoff seeding and which teams are favored.
They shared stories about how family members, particularly spouses, seem to arrive home or interrupt at the most critical moments of a game. They joked about the possibility of these moments being intentional, adding a humorous touch to the podcast.
The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where we have a new rewatch of us coming on Monday night. We did Home Alone 2.
because it's a Christmas movie, unlike Die Hard. It's also a great New York movie. It was me and Kyle Brandt. You can watch that on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel as well. You can watch all the clips from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. Cousin Sal joins us every Sunday night. You can watch us live on YouTube on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel, or you can just watch us on the Spotify app because we run these as video podcasts. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Wherever you like to watch the game at the Arena, the Bar, Home,
wherever, enjoy every moment of the NBA season with an ice cold Michelob Ultra. And, you know, we've done some stuff with them. So they'll send me the Michelob Ultra. I'll put it in the fridge. It's really interesting what happens. People come over, they want a beer. They go, oh, Michelob Ultra. Or I've never tried one of these. I've heard you talked about it.
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All season long. Uber Eats, official on-demand food delivery partner of the NFL. Order now for game day. Terms, taxes, and fees apply. See app for details. Coming up, the cuz and I breaking down week 16 in a football stretch of games that will seemingly never end. And it's turning my brain to tapioca. It's all next. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. ♪
All right, we are taping this. 844. Sal, are you happy? What are your emotions right now? It's worth the wait. So worth the wait. I got to tell you, Bill. I know I can't root against them. I hate it. I know it cost us draft picks in certain order. And I know I have Tampa Bay to win the NFC South. And yet when that defense plays with the intensity that it did, it is very hard to root against the Cowboys. You have to feel that way too. Come on.
Come on. I mean, your team didn't win, but you know what I'm saying, right? I thought you were doing Collinsworth, but you're doing Sal. I thought you were going to do that. This is the greatest game I've ever seen. I've never seen a football game like this, Mike. It was the greatest everything. It was the greatest secondary. It was the greatest interception. That run from Baker was the greatest. The producers are in Chris's ear like Chris, um,
please stop saying how the Cowboys have nothing to play for like five minutes later. Dallas has nothing to play for. They had nothing to play for. I don't even know why they care. Why are they dressed up? Get back on the buzz. I want to watch Vita Veya. I wish he would moon me. I'm going to rename my son Vita Veya. You hear that Jack Collinsworth? Vita Veya Collinsworth now.
Mike, this is the hardest hitting game that doesn't matter at all. And everybody should turn the channel that I've ever seen. That was quite an ending to quite a weekend. And I got to say, I'm footballed out. Yeah. I just didn't want to watch this game, especially once Dallas was eliminated, even though they're already eliminated. But I watched it because we had to watch for the pod. But, you know, big picture.
This, this football stretch we're in, we had Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, tomorrow to Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, nine of 12 days football. And I'm already, I'm already feeling like I'm at Foga to chow, ready to tap out, ready to turn the card. You're turning the red? You're going red already? We got another game tomorrow. I'm like, I'm going red. Red disc. I can't have any more meat. This is too much, especially the college football. It's too much.
It's a lot, man. It's a lot. Yeah, you're right. And it started, I had a Friday on, but you know, you and I love it. We love the Moneyline favorites and the Moneyline favorites came in six in a row between the college and pro games Friday and Saturday. So that was a nice little nest egg we built, right? All the faves hit except for Philly, which we will talk about thanks to Jalen Hurts. But basically any sort of Moneyline parlay with any reliable good to great team. Yeah. Five, six points and up.
It was your kind of weekend. I was thinking about you because Usyk was fighting too. Our guy that we love betting on. He hasn't lost since the first Obama term. And just get to throw him in with different parlays. You get the Buffalo money line and the Green Bay money line. But Philly was the letdown one.
That was awesome. I know it was entertaining, right? It's nice to win Christmas week, but yeah, Philly. And by the way, what hurts going out, the first thing we thought of was our friend Brad and Hench who both on separate leagues had hurt starting. And the two leagues were in. Yeah. Our two craziest friends had hurts. The most volatile infantile fantasy rooters and owners. And I mean, Hench is talking about the independent neurologist for 14 hours straight on text.
He was so upset. He kept texting that. Hitch is like diametrically opposed to Chris Nowitzki in concussion protocol. So get him back in there. And then our friend Brad, who hasn't won our knockout league, I don't think since we've had the knockout rule, but he's been voted out three times. Yeah, I haven't heard from him. I'm honestly, we may have to do like a
An unplanned wellness check. We've done a few of those, but not for a fantasy. Yeah, so Hurts ends up with 4.5 points. He crushes anybody who had him. Not his fault, but not the big story from that game because Jaden Daniels not only locked down offensive rookie of the year, I think, five TDs, 82 rushing, another come-from-behind win.
Another like super exciting DC moment. Yeah. And it feels like his mojo came back the last couple of years. He was definitely hurt there for, I don't know how long, but now he's starting to look like him again, but that was such a great win. It felt like they had lost that game five different times. I didn't even know if it was a bad Eagles loss. You know, they'd Kenny pick it.
And I had the Eagles in a parlay and then see Kenny Pickett's in there halfway through the first quarter. And you're going the fuck. Like I definitely never wanted to bet on Kenny Pickett again in my life, but he actually wrote me in. I was like, he seems okay.
We're not offered insurance. Yeah, yeah. God bless, you know, Kami Phan and Ringer pregame show co-host Joe House. And I picked this Washington team to make the playoffs. And Jaden, thanks for the Offensive Rookie of the Year loot. But I can't wait to bet against this team in the wildcard round. I mean, the starting quarterback goes out.
Five turnovers for Washington and a drop pass, maybe the worst big drop pass of the year by Devonta Smith, which would have run the clock out. There were two because there was that long one to Barkley too was another backbreaker that he should have. By the way, the Giants fans have always said he never catches those. He's got he's got like butterfingers on big pass plays. And that was yet another one. But the Devonta Smith one, there was a lot of those today, though, in the cold weather games.
I think we forget how cold it is. Like the Bills-Pats game, by the second half, everybody looked like they were wearing oven mitts. Yeah, it's not as cold when we're screaming at the TV in our toasty living room. You know, wearing a blanket. Yeah. But, yeah, but Washington needed every bit of everything we just named to win that game. I mean, are they the full shit team? I mean, they, you know, starting with the Hail Mary, I know maybe a few unlucky breaks with injuries, but honestly, as a seven seed, I'm good. 10-5 right now? Mm-hmm.
The Hail Mary was stupid. They had one other really stupid win. And then this one. But I mean, this one they earned. You know, like you have, what was it? First down and goal from the nine under 20 seconds left. That should be like the most, it's like a nine yard two point conversion. Guy's wide open. The Eagles just completely fucked it up. So in that case, I felt like that was almost a,
It wasn't a bad Eagles loss until that last drive. Cause if your defense is that good, everybody's like, this is the most well-rounded, including me. This is the most well-rounded team that Detroit's done. Their defense is gone. The Eagles, they can get stops. Not only did that get stops, like that was like one of the worst touchdowns anyone's given up this year. It was really bad. Guys wide open in the middle of the end zone.
you have to think he'll be back hurts. Right. And so if that's the two seven matchup. Yeah. Now it's now it spells doom. I think for Washington, I don't think there's any way Philly loses. Those games are always weird with them though. Yeah. How many weird Philly Washington games can we have? It's true. And then there's always like fans from either side at both of the games. Philly's defense needs to be a little better. That's for damn sure. But like a lot of these top teams, you could say that for, well, the weird part was, uh,
I just, I didn't understand like that, that the 12 man on the field guys running off all of a sudden, they're just giving up like a 70 yard touchdown to give them the lead. I, there's a lot of stuff I didn't like with them, but you look at the playoff picture, like they're locked into the two seed. Yep. Right. So they, they have Dallas and the giants left Dallas. Your team is like a surprisingly hard out now. I don't think that's,
a cross off by any means, especially if they decide to sit Hertz for a week. So if it's you against Penny Pickett next week, yeah, you might be eight and eight. So they're locked into the two seed. And then the one seed is just bizarre where Detroit feels like they've lost like one time in three months. And yet somehow Minnesota is controlling everything. If they just win their last two games, they're going to be the one seed.
Yeah, right. Now the Philly loss. Yeah, you're right. I didn't think about that. Yeah, I mean, listen, I think I have to go to Vikings intervention. You have to throw an intervention for me because every Sunday I come on here and I praise Sam Darnold and he has 32 touchdown passes now. And then Friday, I'm like, oh, who are they playing? They're not going to show up this week. I'm going to take Seattle. And I get it right in the keister. I mean, it's ridiculous what Minnesota and Darnold are doing. And I'll probably take the Packers next week.
I can't believe you just used the word keister. Yeah. Is that not allowed? No, no. Oh, shit. We're live. Mid-70s people and up. It's like Aunt Chippy and your dad might have gotten that one and that's it. I just came from seeing them. I think that's a problem. I bet on Minnesota this week. Oh, you did? And mainly because we have all these Seattle bets.
But I've also, I'm the same way. I said uncle with them a while ago. They're legit. I don't know how many times they have to do it. And I thought what was interesting about that game. So rooting for Minnesota to score, Seattle takes the lead. Minnesota's down four. They actually have to go down and score a touchdown. There's like five minutes left. And I'm sitting there on the couch where I haven't moved for like, I don't know how many hours. And I'm like, I think Darnold's going to get this. Like, I swear that was my feeling in the car. I was like, he's going to get it.
I really think he's going to go down the field and score. I thought you were going to do the orgasm face again. I was worried there. All right. Sitting on the couch.
You know what's funny about those is when I'm doing that as a joke to make you laugh and then it gets cut out as blog posts. It's like, look at this weirdo, dude. I'm like, I'm literally doing a joke. You can't cut that out trying to make fun of me when I'm doing a joke. They caught you off guard? Yeah, it's like, oh my God, what's he doing? It's like, I'm doing a joke. But anyway, Minnesota down four. And Darnold, he's done it, I don't know how many times this year, but...
there's seven, eight quarterbacks in the league that I feel like can get that done. It wasn't an easy scenario, but he's got these two great receivers that always seem to be open in the right times. But that throw breaks through. He's got pressure, cuts through, throws like almost like a semi sidearm. He's got to beat the safety. It was just a great play. And then Gino became Gino at the end of the game. They got a little lucky because they got
The face mask. Was it a face mask called on Darnold? It's one of those things where there's three guys about to sack him and one of the idiots puts his hand on the face mask. Yeah, and then like, ah, shit. You got to call that. There's nothing about it. But it was a great throw. And he is so...
So cool on the pressure and marches them right down the field. And Jefferson has five touchdowns in the last three games. Like, I don't want to say he was missing. It was MIA the first time we double teaming them. Yeah. They were taking them out. They were like, go throw to Addison and go throw to Hawkinson. They're only going to get better, I think. And so why am I going to bet against them again? God damn. I think you could, if we're just going, who do you trust the most right now? I think there's a real case for them.
Yeah. Because it always feels like they can score when they need a touchdown. Their defense can, can create enough havoc that they can get some stops. They always seem to grab a turnover when they really need one. And gank goals always end. Yep. And I, they're exceptionally coached. We make fun of coaches a lot. Like my, my Patriots today,
who had two really good drives in a row to start the game. But then as the game went along, the wheels start to come off. We had a backward lateral on like our own eight yard line that ended up getting recovered for defensive touchdown. Like, what are we doing? Why are we having Drake May whip a screen pass
to Stevenson, who's already fumbled, who isn't exactly Mr. Hands in nine degree weather inside our own 10 yard line. Like, what are we doing? Why are we punting from, you know, midfield when we're down 10? You watch that stuff.
And then you watch Minnesota. He had the nice fake there. That was fun. Well, he had the fake punt. But then you watch Minnesota and it's like, I just, I agree with everything they're doing. This team has it. They're really well coached. Flores is great on defense. O'Connell knows the fuck he's doing. Really good team. I'm in on the Vikings. I think they're legit. I think they are too. And I think they play defense. And if you talk about like the four or five top teams, like, you know,
Obviously, the Lions didn't kill them today, but their front seven is injured. They have 22 guys on IR or out. Most of those are defensive players. We saw the Bills defense. I don't know how much more you need to see out of that. Who else? Philadelphia was bad today. Really, just like the Chiefs and Vikings are the only two teams defensively right now with a few weeks left that I'm comfortable with. Yeah, the Pats had 28 first downs on the Bills defense today. Yeah. Yeah.
Wow. We have no receivers. Like we are, we have an offensive coordinator that will do 10 dumb things a game. And we had 28 first downs. It was. We've had like six winnable games. Maybe it wasn't that good in the second half. I'll admit it. Yeah. He was, I mean, you know. But when it's this cold. Listen, you give him, you give him 15 chances to score from inside the five. He's going to hurt you. That's what he did at the end. Don't you, don't do that. Because he will show you up.
Come on. Why are you making fun of me? My team, I have the second pick in the draft right now. I know. Antonio Pierce. That is nice. Antonio Pierce, like fist pumping in the sidelines. Like we did it. We dropped from two to six. We got this. Wait, going back to that. Let's talk Washington, Philly, Minnesota, that whole vortex. So the Hertz concussion is,
I think it's in the running for one of the biggest football moments of the year because it didn't just feel like it swung the seeds. It also happened during semifinals and fantasy. Oh yeah. I was trying to think of like what injury that, you know, he'll be fine in a week or so, but what like relatively minor, but sucky injury would have had more impact on more people.
Hurts is like a top five fantasy quarterback. Like I guarantee he was on all the sites. So it was just like a crazy moment. And then watching Pickett go in there and you're thinking like for Washington, like this is really good for them. Like they, if they're any good, they should probably steal this game and they couldn't do it for two hours. But so that happened. And then the Minnesota thing and Seattle's out now, it seems like, right. I mean, they're not officially out, but
Well, they play the Rams, right? I know, but they're a game back. They basically need the Rams to lose next week. They need to win next week, and then they need to beat the Rams. And those Rams will, I mean, there's a couple games they've won scoring one or no or two touchdowns, right? It's just, they just get it done. So weird with them. You know what's weird about them? They're like a January team. They're like the opposite of what their profile is.
You know, like you think of them, you think that they're like this dome team. They're going to be in these 37. They're in these ugly, like 19 to 16, 20 to 17. Like that, that's kind of makes more sense when you're watching them. If the Jets didn't, I don't think they punted today or they punted, they punted once, but just like ugly turnovers going for it on fourth down, not getting it. Um, I don't know. I didn't, I,
They're like one of those boxers that you can't like figure out what their style is. They run the ball really well some weeks. Other weeks they don't.
some weeks Stafford looks like he's 40 other weeks. He looks like he's 25. I don't have a handle on them at all. Do you? I don't either. I don't know. Yeah. I want to say, I want to bet against them in the playoffs, but if Stafford, I think Stafford is going to struggle in cold weather a little bit. I think we saw that in the numbers, uh, support that. And you know, if Aaron Rogers just didn't hand them the ball at the end, that might've been a, might've been a game. He was at least, Oh, really good. Really good. But, um, but yeah, they have what, what like,
What'd they score against San Francisco? 12? And then barely 19 today? In 10 days, I think they have three touchdowns now. And it's a lot of like, it's a little Chiefs-ish. If it feels like if it's close in the fourth quarter, you feel like they're going to pull it out and I'll show him a play and he's like high-fiving people and doing that whole thing. The other big scenario that happened today
And you could feel coming Thursday after that game flipped with the Chargers and the Broncos. It's like all of a sudden Cincinnati is doing the sleeper hold. And since then it's like one, two. And it's like, oh, oh, the finger. Oh my God, what's going on? They've won three straight. They're missing their left tackle and their right tackle. And their defense is awful. That was pretty good today. And yet somehow they're still alive.
And if they have their, their, uh, playing Denver at home next week and then at Pittsburgh, which might not mean anything. Pittsburgh could be in that scenario where they're, Oh, we're the six seed. We don't care if we're the seven seed, you know, doesn't seem like teams really mind. Yeah. They could be five or six and not even care.
And then they need Miami and Indiana to Indianapolis to lose. Can I just say something? Which by the way is, is not, not a Miami's playing Cleveland and the jets. Indianapolis is playing the giants and Jaguars. So those teams might run out. Right, right, right. I had my biggest bet of the year. I'm going to come clean. Penn state.
Cincinnati teaser. And I was so mad at the Bengals. I was like, how the frick are you not putting this game away? You know, like this is, this is, you make everyone sweat it out for two hours. Jesus. And you got Dorian Thompson, Robinson, Pete, whatever his name is running up and down the field. Like, are you kidding? I know it was 24, six, but yeah, can't they, this is, you know, this is the defense.
You know, your defense has been awful all year long. Can you just keep it in check against Cleveland? Not, not scare us so much. Now, nobody would believe it from the box score. I actually really enjoyed the bad football. I had bets on every game except the Rams jets. I was like, I'm not going near that. I don't like what we talked about over the Rams, but that Cleveland game was close. Their kicker missed a couple of kicks.
Dorian Thompson Robinson was terrible at exactly the wrong times, but for the most part seemed pretty competent. Their defense was doing a good job, I thought, against the Bengals. And it felt like they were hanging around, hanging around, and all of a sudden it was going to be 17-13 and they were going to have the ball with five minutes left. I was freaking out too. I didn't understand why the Bengals couldn't close it.
It's a sexy bet. I know our buddy Raheem went with it, plus 680 to make the playoffs. I haven't checked it. Of course, it's lower now. That's what it was this morning. But I don't even know if they run the table, even with that slate that you said. Home against Denver. Their defense is bad. Yeah. Everyone's doing that. You don't want to see them. It's like, I think I'd feel good about seeing them, actually. They can't stop anybody. Yeah, they're very consistent. So you have them, you have Denver, who really looks like smoke and mirrors personified.
Miami, who actually got a good game from Tua today. We'll talk about that later. And then Indianapolis, who ran for 335 yards today against a terrible Tennessee team. But if you catch them in the right 20 minutes, they look pretty good. And I don't know. One of those teams is going to be the seventh seed. Who would you be the most afraid of out of those four? So if you're, let's say, who's the two, would we say? Buffalo? I think Tua's going to be Buffalo. Yeah. Yeah.
So you're hoping for Miami. I'm going to contradict myself, but maybe Cincinnati. But yeah, Miami wouldn't scare me if I'm Buffalo going there. Colts wouldn't scare you. No, no, they can't. I don't know. Are they going to have a balmy day in January? I don't see it. If I'm Buffalo, I'd love it. But they're going to kill everybody.
What do you think? Who would you be? Well, Miami, I'd be fired up about cause cold weather. They have no chance. Yeah. Indianapolis Richardson in a playoff road game. No chance. Denver bone necks. I don't see it. Right. Sorry. I know you love bone necks, but no, that's fine. It seemed teams like that. That team has like a good hour in them and they kind of need the lead. And then they kind of hold on their offense. Bone necks. I do like them. Um,
Pretty much the same as last year if you look at the numbers. It's a defense that's allowed seven fewer points a game.
Yeah, Benito turned into one of the best guys in the AFC. I would be the most scared of Cincinnati. I know it sounds like I'm contradicting what I said before, but I think the team that beats Buffalo in the playoffs is just going to be the classic, we outscored them. We won 42-40. We won 38-35. You're not stopping Buffalo anyway, so weirdly the Bengals not having a defense. I don't know if that matters because whenever Buffalo wants to move the ball downfield, they do. What's interesting about them
Cooper, again, didn't do anything today. One catch for 10 yards. Yeah. And that was their big trade deadline move. It makes me wonder, like, should anyone trade for a receiver during the season? Like the Adams is doing well for the Jets because Rogers is throwing to him 28 times a game trying to get him going. But meanwhile, they scored nine points. But.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's going to be with that. You're right with Buffalo. But I think with Cincinnati, even if they do out slug Buffalo, there'll be a time to just bet against them. Right. This team doesn't win two, three games in the playoffs. It's not built like that at all. No, but they could win one. And I think if you look back at the season they just had. So what's their record? Are they are they 500 yet?
They are other seven and eight. Yeah. But they had how many dumb losses? Casey 26 to 25 Washington 38 to 31. That was stupid. Baltimore 41 38. That was dumb. They lost that other Baltimore game. 35 34. They lost that stupid chargers game 34 27. And then they lost that Steelers game when they put up 38 points. Like they've kind of been around some of these losses. Yeah.
But I do think, I think they could play like a 38 to 35 type game. And maybe Burrow is just awesome.
So that's who I wouldn't want to play if I was Buffalo. Yeah, I mean, they have superstars, Chase Brown, Higgins, and Jamar Chase. But yeah, it is interesting. They're almost exactly the opposite of the Chiefs who have somehow made a deal with all the players and the organization that we're not going to break 31 points this year. We're going to have three-peat but never score 31. And here's Cincinnati scoring 31, like, you know, three out of every four games and can't win, like, you know, less than 500. Yeah, even...
in the Casey game this week was like, God forbid they took a 10 point lead. Right. The other team always has to be within one possession with 10 minutes left for some reason. I will say though with Casey and it's a little like Usyk watching him just kind of figure out how to win the last few rounds. You just feel like when you're in your fourth quarter, the Chiefs, you just feel like they're going to figure it out somehow. Yeah. And it doesn't really make sense as you're watching it. They don't seem really better than any team they're playing. You know, you're not like, whoa,
Look at those guys. It just always feels like they're just going to make two plays and steal it. But if I was the rest of the league, I'd be dying to play them. I don't know. I would just feel like we can beat these guys. Watch this tape. We can take these guys.
I just think it's all bullshit. I really do. They're good. They know you, like you said, they know how to be there at the end. And yet they don't have a go-to guy other than Mahomes offensively. Right. It's like, Oh, Noah gray. Oh, all right. He's their guy. Oh, Kelsey can only catch a three yard pass and spin for five, you know? Yeah. I don't know.
And also just the, can we stop with the high ankle sprain garbage? Like that's, don't call it that anymore. That's not what it is. If he's not wearing a boot on Wednesday, it's not called tooth decay. That's closer to what he has than a high ankle sprain. If he's running around, it's a full participant practice on Tuesday. Give me a break. It was like an ankle tweak. Yeah. That they tried to sell. Like it was this terrible. Yeah. When you run off your curb to get the mail or something, that's what it is.
So Denver has Cincinnati and Casey left. Chargers have the Pats in Las Vegas. So that's, they're winning with that. Miami, Cleveland, and the Jets. Colts, Giants, who are awful. They are the worst team in the league. They just suck. They're so bad. I was having fun in the first quarter of that game thinking, oh, yeah.
They took the lead, 7-0. It's like, okay, just don't make any mistakes, Drew Lock. I'm going to throw some pick sixes. I'm not even going to throw one pick six. I'm going to throw two. I'm going to throw in a Judon. Yeah, right. He got it. He knew what he was doing. So they play the Giants and the Jaguars. The Jaguars are pretty terrible, too. Mm-hmm.
So I don't think Cincy's going to make it. Between Miami and Indianapolis, I think one of those teams are going to win. Yeah, it's only two more games now for each of them. So it's doable. Special season for the Cleveland quarterbacks. I added up the touchdowns and interceptions. What do you think? Who was the best? Was Jameis the best? Probably the most productive both ways. What do you think for TDs and interceptions for the season? TDs. All the guys combined.
11-21. Oh, that was pretty negative. 18 touchdowns somehow. 20 picks. 18 touchdowns? Well, Jameis had like 13 in six weeks. Yeah, that's true. He went crazy in that one Monday night game too. What would you guess for Thompson Robinson's career? Touchdowns and picks. I know he's amongst the lowest ever for QBRs. So 6-14? I don't know.
Nine picks, one touchdown. Is that what it is? Yeah. We probably should talk about that on the ringer Sunday pregame. It's like, Hey, one of these two teams has a guy who has one touchdown and seven picks. Yeah. Now he's got one for nine. Um, all right. Switching gears.
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It's nice to see all the different family traditions people do this time of year. You know what's become one of my new favorite traditions? My daughter comes home from college.
We haven't seen her in LA where I live since the beginning of August. So when she comes home, it feels like the conquering hero's back. I love it. However you plan to spend your time during the holiday season, I hope you guys are happy. But also, you should be feeling that way all year round. So make sure you bring yourself some comfort that'll never go away and try therapy. Therapy teaches us so many different skills and coping techniques like positive coping skills, how to relax,
And it can help everyone, not just people who have experienced a major trauma. If you want to try it out for yourself, check out BetterHelp. It's an easy, convenient way to get started, especially since everything is online. All you have to do is fill out a short questionnaire and then you'll be matched with a licensed therapist. It's that easy. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Bill Simmons today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com.
slash Bill Simmons. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. State Farm helps you score an affordable price when you choose to bundle home and auto insurance with the personal price plan. Bundling home and auto, that's a pro move. Just another way you can save on your insurance needs. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state
Coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility. Vary by state. I have a segment we're going to call Murder Watch. Oh, good. Yeah. First up, the Raiders murder their top two pick. The Raiders are locked into, it's a two quarterback draft.
How do you feel about Cam Ward? What's your take? I like him better than Shador Sanders. I still don't, you know, my problem is I bet all these guys and lost a lot of money on them. Yeah. And I've cursed Shador Sanders for hanging around the pocket too long and taking bad sacks. But I like his mechanics. I just feel like Cam Ward is more NFL ready right now. Like I said last week, I'm not sure any team, because you get the Dion BS with it, right?
I mean, you can't, you can't shed that if you take Shador. So I don't know why. So you're thinking Raiders. I mean, who would be more fun? Well, the Raiders right now it's giants one. They're taking a quarterback. Raiders were the second pick. They desperately need a quarterback, even though I guess I wouldn't say O'Connell was good, but he at least was, you know, it's like when my dad drives to my stepmom's house in Albany, it's like, he got there and you're proud of him. It's like that. Yeah. It's like a compliment. Um,
Raiders go from two to six because they lose today. Pats move into two. So all my Pats text threads, if we just hold on, Chargers next week, Buffalo week 18, that two spot. If we just hold on. If we just hold on at three and 14, and then we're in the trade spot, right? So what do you want? What do you even want? I mean, I don't know. Like, let's say the Raiders are six and they want to move up for Shador Sanders at number two.
It's at least numbers, the six pick next year's first, some other stuff. Tennessee is going to need a quarterback and the giants. So three teams in the top seven need a quarterback. There's only two. And what I didn't want was the, for the pats to be third. So, so right now it's giants, pats, Jaguars, Tennessee, Cleveland, Vegas, Carolina. And the irony of this is Mac Jones helped us twice.
After completely murdering us last year, he wins a game to push them to three wins and push them behind us and then loses today. The Raiders pushes them ahead of us. So he puts it irony. Is he still on the payroll? Maybe it's one of those things. We didn't change the too much. Irony.
Yeah. So the Raiders were their pick. You're going to get, so what do you get? You want a big lineman to protect this guy, right? We need a lineman. That's what you have to do. Scouting left tackle footage, which is about as boring as it gets. It's not going to be sexy. You're not going to, you don't want the wide receiver. You already said that, right? So. No, it's like, hey, let's take a long look at Kelvin Banks Jr. of Texas. Anyway, I don't know. We'll see what that pick's worth because once we get closer to the draft,
It's true. And people start getting excited about the quarterbacks and then you start forgetting the bad stuff. And I don't know what, how it's going to play out. All right. That's one murder. Miami murders the Niner season officially. Now you can say it was on life support. They were awful. And I, and I really don't know where I stand on the Brock Purdy contract extension now, because I haven't like he had another, a couple of terrible plays today. And I don't know.
Once you start removing those weapons, Debo's not quite Debo anymore. There's no Iyuk anymore. There's no McCaffrey. And he just looks like another guy that I'm watching who's good at scrambling and occasionally throws the ball for grabs. Yeah, there's just no way to tell with him. You know, I mean, I guess we're getting a look now. Like, right. Like he was the guy that everybody, everyone needed to be there. Like you said, the conditions have to be ideal.
Shanahan schemes have to be working. But you and I were both in on him. We were like, this guy's impressive. You got to handle him. We flip-flopped a thousand times on Murty, I would say. But I still think he's worth it, man. I watch these 10 a.m. games on the West Coast. I see eight or nine bad quarterbacks. So what are we talking? 50? 55 million? I feel like, I don't know. I think you're going to get, we know he could win 10 or 11. You don't think so? You think all these guys are going out? I wouldn't do it.
I don't want to pay $50 million a year for somebody that's not a year in the two-a situation. Again, two-a was good today, but do you want to pay two-a $50 million a year? No, but I think he might be worth it when you look at these other guys. You got to start from scratch. I don't know how you build a great team around him because you need a better line. Like Trent Williams has been out and all of a sudden they can't block anymore. Yeah, that's an issue. To me, the question would be, is there a Darnold every year now?
And there won't be a Donald this year because I think if Minnesota doesn't bring him back now, this is lunacy. But maybe that's the move is you trade for J.J. McCarthy.
You know? Yeah, I know. The Niners have like the 10th pick in the draft. Maybe they're just like, let's take that guy off your hands. But what, I mean, that's a monster. That's a first round pick. So you're going to trade? Yeah. I don't know. McCarthy went eighth last year and got hurt. Right. I don't know. So what's he worth this year? When you say there's another Sam Darnold, this is kind of like a unicorn situation. This is what? It's not though. Baker Mayfield the year before, like,
There's not too many guys who need seven years to prove themselves. Is there? Could be Zach Wilson next year. I guess. Could be Cooper Rush. Oh, interesting. Would you take a first for Cooper Rush or no? I think we got to get two firsts and someone has to fix the roof. Yeah. I mean, you're probably right. History of the NFL says...
Donald's a complete anomaly. You can't count on getting lucky like that again. And other teams have tried, but like Gino Smith on Seattle, they were able to patch that together. Yeah. I think it happens a little more than people realize, but what I know doesn't work is,
paying somebody 50 million who might not be worth it. I'd be really nervous about that. Yeah. The 49ers, the window might've closed with this, with this core group for sure. But, but it, that's still that offense does home when McCaffrey's there and Iuke's there and everybody else. So they have to keep, man, it really is the Trent Williams thing though, isn't it? That's the big piece. It's a little different without him. Yep. When we did our futures draft before the year,
And you tapped out. I won the Fogo to child. I can't wait for next year. Now that we know it's like, whoever taps out first, what do you mean? I did. You tapped out. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I had enough back and forth. You ran out. I got, I'm going to win. I'm going to win. No, I'm definitely winning. I, I hit more. Yeah. I have, I had some, I had some great ones. I had some plus three hundreds. I had some big ones.
We got to look at those. I want to see those. No, I think I'm going to win. But one of the ones I took at the tail end after you tapped out was Niners under nine and a half wins. And it was plus 260. So that I wish next year. I just want to print all these out. What do you think Niners under seven and a half wins would have been like plus 700? Yeah, that's nuts. Yeah. I think we have to remember that for next year. There's always going to be one or two teams that
that are like five wins worse than whatever the over-under is. And with some crazy 7-1 value, try to guess in each conference what team it's going to be. What was McCaffrey's prognosis when we had done that? Like he might miss one game? No, we were dubious. We thought he might be out for like the first month. We thought that. But did they? I mean, we know better than everybody. But no, but what were they saying? They said really maybe a month or they weren't saying anything?
It was dodgy. It was dodgy enough that it affected our fantasy draft. Right. That's true. Yeah. I want to look at those numbers. I picked offensive rookie of the year winner. I picked possibly the defense. You had a couple. One of your best ones was you had Pat's worst record.
Detroit best record was like 36 to one. You're not going to hit it. Oh, but I had, I hit a bunch of like Pat's unders and FC South. I had, I do. I did pretty well. We got to pull. It's going to be a good battle. We'll see. There's a lot of ones left, but we did well in the over-unders too. Uh, that Miami Niners game. I don't know what happened in Tyreek.
I don't know whether he got paid or he's, but it feels like he's not as, it feels like Johnny Smith's the most valuable offensive weapon they have now. Yeah. But they really ran the ball today. And it was the first time they ran the ball in a while. Now, granted they're playing this Niners team that felt like it was,
Whatever. But it did make me think like, this is kind of the Miami team we thought they were going to be before the season. This like speedy team that could also like really pound you with this crazy run game. And it feels like they're figuring out a little bit. I thought they played really well in that game. Well, how surprised were you to hear that Tua threw his hundredth touchdown pass of his career? Yeah.
That makes sense. That's like 25 a year. I don't know why it really threw me for a loop. I was like, this guy has 100? That's exactly what I thought. He's had 25 for a year? Yeah. Sitting all that time? We've been really harsh on him. I thought he was good today, and Tyreek dropped two touchdowns. They said someone got a hand on it, but yeah, I agree. No, he was good. He pulls those in. You know who was good? Me for taking the over in that game.
14 and two. Let's talk about that. 14 and two with my wisest wagers. Just let me get this out. Just everybody set your alarm if you're on the West Coast. Watch the Ring of Pre-Game show on YouTube TV. On the West Coast, it's 8.04 in the morning. You catch my bet. You plug it into Fandle and you go to sleep until one or four. You'll wake up a winner. You're on a heater because the one today was super lucky. It really was. You were going to lose. You were under.
H and is up five days with like less than two minutes left running for a first down. Most guys in the league fall down on the five yard line. And he's like, fuck it. America needs fantasy points to be over. And he just runs right in for the touchdown. Big ass smile on his face. You must be going nuts. I was like, this is, this is insane. Yeah. I don't think I'm ever going to lose again.
I mailed you guys my 13-pointer today. You had that on there. The Bills-Packers money line. The Bears plus 20, which I somehow won. And then the other one was your over. I teased it down to 31. They almost had that in the third quarter. You needed it in the fourth. That was good. One other funny thing about that game. I think Shanahan is my number one coach where it's like they're down...
between four and seven points. And I feel like they have no chance. Remember that? I actually looked it up because I was like, I vaguely remember there was some weird Shanahan comeback thing. He was like 0 for 37 before the playoff game in January. Right. Against Green Bay was the first time they came back. But it was yet another one where it's like, yeah, Shanahan, they'll probably not come back. All right. Next murder. Carolina murdered Arizona season. Yeah, they did.
And Bryce, who we left for dead last week, outplayed Kyler Murray, who yet again, as a recurring theme with him, both this season and for his career, just cannot stop having three absolutely horrible, abysmal, excruciating plays per game. He can't not do it. And he's been in the league, what, six years? I'm out. I was out already, but I'm like all the way out. Doors closed, locked, done.
it does seem like he's one of the quarterbacks who really should lobby for a three quarter football game, right? Like you're not going to see fourth quarters too long for him to not make one or two crucial mistakes. Or maybe mulligans. Yeah. He's like the guy in golf is like, can I get a mulligan on that? I just,
I just almost killed the foursome to the left on the other hole. All right, take another shot. He says three mulligan passes that you don't get mulligans in football. Right. And we used to imagine like when we were growing up, if someone kicked, no one kicked a 58-yard field goal. But if someone kicked a 58-yard field goal, you were going to win that game, right? If it was that important. And he couldn't even do it. It was like a punt return for a touchdown.
Couldn't even do it. Couldn't win them this game in overtime. Very strange. So the guy who kicked the field goal, Chad Ryland, was on the Patriots last year and single-handedly lost those three games with terrible kicks. And is the reason we have Drake May?
There's a couple of people I follow on Twitter that are Pat's people that they call him the tank master, the commander and tank chief. Cause it was like, he, he just brought us home and he went to Arizona and now he's just banging home 58 yarders, like in bad condition. Like it doesn't matter. He makes everything. Yeah. So that's a player. So he hits that.
And by the way, they got really screwed on a call on that end of that game where he was, Kyler scrambled out of bounds and they, they did that weird. This is another NFL call that they just have stopped being consistent on ever is the guy. If he did, he fall forward or not. He all of a sudden the refs like, no, no, no, keep it going. Even though he seemed like he, you know, was in control of his own out of bounds. That's the thing. I haven't figured that out yet. Um, and then the Panthers went in OT and the Panthers, uh,
Now, four wins. This was my lock of the NFC. Five and a half wins under Panthers. Oh, you're good. I feel like I'm going to get it. Yeah, wait. How's it end up for them? I mean, my boys helped you. A little nervous. They're just playing all the other teams in the conference. Oh, right, right. Or in the division. Oh, they're at Tampa. I mean, Tampa, talk about a murder. There's going to be murders if they don't win that game. Yeah, they played Tampa. They're on the road. Tampa and Atlanta.
They're not going to win both of those. Yeah. They got to start thinking about top five picks now. Am I good with the NFC South? 25 wins? How many is it now? They're all playing each other. It's going to be closer to 30 than... I'm a little worried. That was my all-time lock. Oh, there's 25 so far. Oh, I see. I see what you're saying. Oh, man. What are you going to have to hedge? You're going to have to hedge some dumb Week 18 game. No. Yeah, Tampa's 8-1.
16, 20, they have 25. And there's like three where they're playing each other where somebody wins. So that's like 27. I think I'm going to get it. But I can't believe I'm sweating it out. And then we're going to win our NFC East one. Well, hold on. Yeah, so it's Bucks, Saints, and Carolina, Atlanta. So you'll know before week 18. That's week 18. I'm okay. I'm going to be fine. Yeah, you'll be good. I'm furious that I'm sweating it out. Next one. The Rams.
Somehow re-murdered the Jets season. It felt like this was like positive vibes with the Jets. Enigma came out. They won last week. It's like, oh, Rodgers, if you look at his stats, this is the best season a Jets QB has had in like 12 years. All that stuff. Nope.
They sucked. And he sucked. He was terrible. He was bad, right? He was awful. And you're right. The highlight will show the Devonta Adams touchdown, right? Yeah. But everything else, poor decisions in the pocket, can't get free. Slow. Just slow as shit. I mean, they... Who was... What are they talking about bringing him back or another team signing him? I just don't get it. I don't care. Please, it has nothing to do with him personally. What would possibly...
catch your eye that you would sign this guy again. I can't think of a single thing. I will tell you another person who's not going to be back. Ulbricht.
He's the 2024 Brandon Staley award winner. I don't think anyone has a worse sense of when to go for it, when to go for it on fourth down, when to punt. He just fucks it up every time. It's like, whatever's, whatever's going to work. He's like, I'll just do the opposite. Let me try that. This guy will never be a head coach again. He's got brick in his name. The brick layer. We gotta, we gotta come up with something for him, but we have two weeks to do it.
How about you'll never be a head coach again? Can we call him that? Is that a good nickname? Yeah, it's a little long. I don't know. A little long. On a license. I just feel like we should have appreciated pit boss Rich a little more when we had him. Yeah. And the whole concept of an interim coach with like real character coming in and just being like a substitute teacher. I don't know. There's a Garrett Wilson subplot with the Jets.
that you can really feel when you're watching them. I just don't think he's going to be on that team next year. And I would love to get him on the Patriots. I'd take him right now. Oh, yeah.
I think he's really good, and I think Rodgers is just favoring Adams or Lazard or whatever guy he has some history with over Garrett Wilson. Garrett Wilson's going to go to another team and be awesome. He's got to be great in the right offense, in the right scheme. I don't know if it's the Patriots, but it's definitely not the Jets. Come to the Patriots. Don't play with Drake. Oh, man, bro. We were told you have to take Garrett Wilson no later than seventh in the first round and Breeze Hall fourth.
Forget it. Garrett Wilson murdered two of my fantasy teams. Here's another murder. Gerard Mayo murdered analytics. I don't know if you caught this. So when the Pats punted from the New England 45 on fourth and six, 833 remaining in the fourth, down 10, punting to Josh Allen, the MVP of the league. A surrender index, according to the surrender Twitter, surrender index of 9.08.
It ranked in the 95th percentile of cowardly punts of the 2024 season and the 91st percentile of all punts since 1999. Another chapter for Gerard Mayo's new book, Scared Football.
I love the fact that cowardly punts has to go on someone's resume. Like if that guy goes for another job, like, all right, let's see your guy, your teammates, a team seems to like you. Yeah, you did this. All right. Yeah. Oh, cowardly. Two cowardly punts in 2024. Can we get that down? Can we, uh, can someone write a letter on your behalf explaining the cowardly punts?
The announcers were praising the Pats today because they rolled Drake May out a couple times. They played with pace. They did a fake punt. They were like, the Patriots aggressive. I'm like, we're 3-11. Like, of course. What are we protecting? We suck.
Yeah. I was sending you live odds for them. They were plus 142 when they're up by 10. What was it? 14? Never, never, ever, never, ever did I think we were winning that game. Because if I had been panicking about the draft pick, there would have been a moment in that game where I was like, holy shit, we're going to blow this and actually win. But it was the perfect game. Drake may know, he knows the program. Do just enough.
Get everyone excited. He's going to have a couple of dumb 21 year old plays. He has every game because he's 21 years old, but I love him. Let me ask you something. I'm being honest. I'm not being a jerk. I do. No, but what is the difference between him and Mac Jones? The first 12 weeks of Mac Jones. Oh my God. After 10 weeks, you were saying they should redraft. Mac Jones would be one or two. No, stop. You did.
Mac Jones was always like a game manager. This guy. Oh my God. So the bundle sent me something. NFL offensive success rate leaders since week 10 lions, Packers, Ravens, Bengals, bills, Rams, Patriots. Yeah. Drake Bay is good. We have nobody. We have no receivers. We can't block. We have a running back that has seven fumbles this year. There's been a seven fumble player since 2020. Yeah.
I'm sorry, but you love Mac Jones. I'm just saying, be careful. You love, you did love Mac Jones. I'll go further. Yeah. My favorite Boston rookie of the 21st century. What? Yeah. Yes. Really? Yeah. I'm all in. I'm all in. I'm happy to be haunted with this clip forever. Drake May is a sure thing.
All the Pats fans are nodding now. We've been watching. He's fucking incredible. Team sucks. Wait a minute. Wasn't Mookie Betts a rookie for you? Yeah, I love Mookie Betts. I have him above Mookie Betts. And I love Mookie Betts. Oh, man. It's so hard to get a quarterback. It's like the fucking single hardest thing to do. I know. You could go decades without one. I really thought after Brady, we'd have no chance to ever have one again. And now we have this fucking guy fell out of the sky. It's amazing.
And the funniest thing is he might not even be the best quarterback in his class because Daniels is also amazing. But like if you gave Caleb versus Drake May, it's like no contest.
I can't believe you. This is a little much. This is just a tiny bit much. I don't feel like it is. Based on the Mac Jones praise, you did love him. You didn't call him a game manager after 10 weeks. You loved him. You thought he was number one or two in the league. Rookie. If Harrison started to be like a lifeguard at the beach... Oh, this is personal now. Yeah. My Harrison or James Harrison? Yeah. And he just swam out and saved somebody's life. Yeah.
Still wouldn't like him. He'd be like, wow, that was nice. If he did it every week, you'd be like, this kid's a hell of a lifeguard. What kind of life is he? Week after week. He's saving lives? I can't believe the shit he's doing. Oh my God. The first drive today, he did five, six things that were like, I can't believe he didn't get sacked. I can't believe he got out of that. I can't believe he threaded the needle to booty. He was covered by two guys. How did he get on the ball? He's incredible.
But you could believe that he didn't win, right? Because he's done that 12 times. Well, not that bad. That you could believe. No, I'm super excited about Drake Bane. You're not going to pour water on it. All right. And I'd be excited for Harrison if he was a great lifeguard and just saving lives every week. I think both of those are over, over exaggerated. Three and 12. Have you been watching him? I have. He's like shockingly good.
What the fuck? What? Really? Yeah. I don't know. All right. I got to look. Give, give somebody who's super talented, the worst coaching, the worst play calling, the worst blocking and the worst receivers. And then they're still going to get 28 first downs on the road against Buffalo. I'm just saying, be careful because we've saw Trevor Lawrence. We saw Mac Jones. Trevor Lawrence never did this as a rookie. He was never this competent ever in his life.
I can't believe you have three wins. Here's what's going to happen. Mark my words. The nerds are going to come out. This was a winnable game today. We've had like seven winnable games because of him. We have no good players. We have him and Gonzalez. Here's what's going to happen this week. The nerds, when they do the EQ, all the fancy stats, May is going to be amazing in these different stats, like the PFF, all that stuff. I'm telling you, he's going to be great. You and the nerds, you should watch the games with the nerds.
Can we bring in Kyle for a second? Kyle, are you listening to this? No, this is... Kyle, tell Sal how good Drake May is because he doesn't seem to believe me. He's really good, Sal. He's really good. Oh, he is? Watch the first half of these games. You should just watch the first half. Oh, just the first half. Okay, all right. He's really good. All right, you turned me around. I didn't believe you, but Kyle... Sal, just be on the right side of history with this. Drake May is a guy. Really? It's a guy. He's a guy. This is happening. How much are you going to pay for him in fantasy next year?
I'll say this. He's going to be on all my fantasy teams going forward. Really? Yeah. What a lunatic you are. What are you, eight years old? This is great. I'm so happy we have a quarterback again. It's fine. It's fine. It's great. I love Tatum. Tatum, first year, I was like, this guy's got it. We got somebody. This guy's like a special guy. And I feel the same way about Drake May. Felt the same way about Ray Bork in 1979.
It's like, this guy's a guy. Your favorite rookie. I got to look back. You're missing somebody here. Mookie Betts, same thing. Mookie Betts is a rookie. It's like, this guy has it. Yeah. And he did have it. He did have it. And then he took it to the left. Let's wait on this guy. Yeah. It'll be a rant. All right. We'll see. This episode is brought to you by Uber Reserve. You know what's a game changer for travel? Booking my ride in advance to the airport with Uber Reserve. Uber Reserve makes it easy to plan my whole trip. I just did this.
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and you get extra wait time included. So go ahead, plan like a pro. Reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. See app for details. This episode is brought to you by NFL Sunday Ticket on YouTube TV. It's December, it's the season of giving, but let's be honest, you deserve a gift too. And what better gift than NFL Sunday Ticket? All the bye weeks are done. You need multi-view. You need the four games at once, especially with the early games. You got all these playoff implications.
fantasy playoffs, whatever else you're doing to make the season more exciting. I always have the four games on the giant TV and then I try, I'm lucky enough to have a couple other TVs 'cause I do this for a living. I try to have six games going at once so I can see everything. But as we get later in the year and the games become even more meaningful, sometimes I'll get wacky. I'll just put one giant game on and then two smaller games on the TVs. Everyone's got their own thing.
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Uh...
The Saturday games, Baltimore handled Pittsburgh. Winnable game for Pittsburgh. Russ Wilson.
Is it a Pickens thing or is this, this is always who Russ was? It doesn't help, but I was waiting for this kind of, I mean, it was the first bad hustle and bustle game we've seen in a while. He fumbled at the goal line and he threw that bad pick at the end there. Two terrible plays. Honestly, the thing that makes them just like everyone else, if they're going to give up 220 rushing yards to, I mean, I know it's Derrick Henry, but
That defense can't take weeks off. That's for sure. Otherwise, you're going to look at 34-17 every week. Yeah, I agree. I just feel like with Pickens, I'm not willing to make a definitive anything on them until Pickens is back. I want to see what that looks like. Wednesday. Pittsburgh has to win out of there, the five seed. The other team is Houston, who I thought
was on pace to maybe win that KC game. That tank down injury was one of the worst injuries in a while. It seemed like it sucked the life out of the game. It sucked the life out of them. All of a sudden, they only had one receiver. But it felt like they had a real chance to win that game. And I liked the way their defense was playing. After that, it was like, eh, they're not going to win this. You know what? I think they're mid-carders.
Who's a good WWE comp from the 80s? Like David Bruno San Martino? Tito Santana. All right. Yeah. On his way down, I would say. Santana. Cowboy Bob Orton, somewhere in there. Because that's perfect right there. But yeah, that injury was awful. Val Venis?
Yeah. Vita V? I don't know. No, but that was an awful injury. It was gross. It was a lot of emotion. And then the sadness turned to outright hate when Fairbairn missed that extra point, which basically took him out of the game. I know, he had ice for a half hour. Yeah, that was it. So we had those two games. We had terrible college football games, but we had the fight. It was awesome. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. And both of us had a lot of money on Usyk.
And after round five, I was super worried because it felt like Fury had put on so much weight. It just felt like he was too big. And it felt like he had somehow stayed in enough shape to battle Usyk and it felt like Usyk could not figure it out.
And then, of course, he figured it out. When Fury came out with those trunks and they were so high, they were like just right under the nipples. And you're like, oh, yeah, he's hiding that gut. But he kept coming at him. I mean, I hadn't seen heavyweights like that where usually you're going to get clenches for half the round.
You didn't get, you got like one or two per round. Like those guys were just thrown at each other. And Fury was determined not to be leaned on, be trapped against the ropes. He was always trying to stay in the middle, moving around. Could we see it again? I know he's beaten it twice, but I don't, you know, it's, it's weird because neither guy was rocked to a point where, oh man, he's really in trouble in either fight. I don't think, but I'd love to see it again. Like, why not? Just keep fighting.
It was great. I would watch Usyk fight anybody. I really love how he kind of changes his style depending on who he's going against. He'll go back and forth between Southpaw and Regular. He's always up to shit. What about Drake May? Would you want him to fight Drake May? Drake May would beat him. I think you believe that, too. Kyle, come on. Drake May is a little brother. He's got beaten up by his brothers for his entire childhood. Does Drake May beat Usyk in a fight, Kyle?
I love Drake May. I am happy to die on this hill.
Good. I am happy. We have a guy. So far. Remember when Dak was good, those first couple of games with Dallas and you were like, you're like, fuck, Dak might actually be good. And you kind of just slowly realize, oh, we have a guy. Yeah, but it was an angry guy. I was such a Romo guy there. And he won when he beat Pittsburgh. That was, that was, that was like an Angelina Aniston thing. Yeah. My hormones were way out of whack. That's it. A couple of random observations for you. Brian Thomas Jr.,
Yeah, really good. I think he's the best rookie receiver. The stuff he's doing in these games with the quarterbacks he's had and the amount of times he's been overthrown and all the different things they ask him to do. He's just terrifying. I feel like he's like a top seven receiver now, right? If we're doing fantasy again right now,
I think he's one of the first seven. He's stuck on a bad team, I think, right now, but I was looking at his comps against Malik Neighbors this year. Neighbors has been out a bunch, but still has more catches and not nearly as many yards or touchdowns or anything else. The guy just knows how to get open. I was looking at these odds. It doesn't matter. Jaden Daniels is going to win, but
I think it's a handful of guys who are second. You can put Bowers, you can put Bucky Irving, you can put Brian Thomas Jr. right in there, I think, for second. Thomas Jr. has to have the degree of difficulty of how bad his quarterbacks have been. Right. And I don't know, I'd love to see a montage of how many times he's been wide open and somebody threw it over his head. But it's at least four times that I can remember watching. But he went 23rd, so. Yeah, right. And Adunze went over him.
Uh, neighbors went over him. Marvin Harrison went over him and there was three teams that needed a receiver. And then he dropped and he dropped. And if you go look at the little pocket of players, all the players are good. Like Jared verse, you go on through. Um, but I was like, God damn, I wish the Pats had traded up for him or somebody like imagine if Casey had traded up for him. He was right in that zone where it would have been pretty easy to move up like five, six spots and,
grab him. But yeah, he just seems like he's a home run pick for them. So it's hard. I'm not going to say it's harder to pick than a quarterback, but some of these guys are in such like spread weird offenses in college. It's tough to see what she's going to translate even in even with pro days and timing and everything else. Yeah. Yeah. He was a steal. I will say Van Lathan LSU fan who watched his watched him there.
Was adamant that he was going to be awesome. He was like, I don't understand why he's the fourth guy and why, like, how did they decide that he was just the fourth best guy out of all these guys? The guy was incredible in college. Right. Jared got 33 touchdowns this year. Wanted to mention that. Touchdown passes. Outside chance for 40. Mm-hmm.
Well, doesn't Donald have 32? Is it 33 to 32? I mean, that could be a good week 18. That'd be fun. I was just thinking like, that's one of the great random trades of this century. That Stafford-Goff trade, how it rejuvenated the line. I know people have talked about it a million times, but Goff just being miles, leaps and bounds better than you ever could have expected if you're the Lions and you're getting him. And then Stafford wins the Super Bowl, but...
Um, imagine me telling you three years ago, golf is going to be the quarterback on a team that's
13 and two, and he's going to have 33 touchdown passes with two weeks to go. You'd have been like, what? I would. Well, you told me the same thing about Mac Jones and I didn't believe you, but yeah, no, you're right. No, he's, if anything else, we could stop the golf and cold weather. Can't get it done thing. He's now done it in green Bay. He's done in Chicago. This was an easy trap game as bad as Chicago has been. And they, uh, they butchered him. I wrote down. Caleb has replaced Kyler as the new king of garbage time.
Yeah, maybe. Down 20. They fucking lights it up. Look out. Yeah. Here comes Caleb. I want him to break the record. Nobody's sacking him enough anymore. It's going to be David Carr's record still. He has like, he has like 60. He needs 70. David Carr is going to be popping the champagne yet another year.
I mean, it's like he has a franchise record. He has a franchise record for sacks. Like if they told the bears like, Hey, you're this quarterback is Caleb Williams. He's going to set a franchise record this year. You'd be like, Oh, this is great. Really? Franchise record. Yeah. Hundreds of years. Pennix looked fine. Yeah. He's okay. You know what? He can move. He can move on like her cousins.
He was, what was he, 18 for 27, 202. I bet maybe you think this is a dumb bet anyway. I bet no interceptions because I thought they were going to put kid gloves on him. It was going to be a lot of Bijon. It was going to be a lot of screen passes. And that fucking Kyle Pitts. Oh, he's the worst player in NFL history. And it doesn't even count as a fumble because he catches the ball and bats it right to the defender. He even drops the ones he catches. They're not called fumbles. Drafted fourth overall. That's a bad pick. That's the worst.
I would have been more outraged about that, but the Patriots have done that to Drake May like four times this year where they've caught the ball and then just whipped it to the other team. That should have a name when a guy does that. It shouldn't count as an interception for the quarterback. It should be like a team interception or something. It's not good. It's the pits for sure. That said, Falcons defense was the add drop of the decade. Anyone who had the Falcons defense picked them up Thursday, Friday. Good job by you. You won your fantasy week. Last thing I had before I guess the lines.
Ricky Henderson. Ah, great, Matt. Kind of ahead of his time. Would have been really great with the internet. Like social media, he would have been a whole other level of famous, notorious, everything.
I remember doing the unintentional comedy rating, like doing that whole, like he was one of the unintentionally funniest athletes we've ever had. He was also great to watch. There was nobody like him. He was way ahead of his time with the on base steals power, like all the stuff like we knew in the 21st century mattered.
but we didn't really know in the previous century. And in person was one of like the seven or eight most memorable baseball players I ever went to see in person, right? Is this the same for you? Yeah.
Terrific. One of the most entertaining, obviously the fastest you've seen head first sliding, just taking the base off, just holding the base over his head. We just don't see it anymore. I mean, cause no one's breaking the records like he does, but yeah, I think you're right about the social media. He would be just what major league baseball needed. Like Mike Trout, you can't get any good sound bites at all. Ricky Henderson would be all over. He would be basically Yogi Berra from 2000. Right. And before.
The third person stuff was so fucking funny with him. Oh, yeah. Like he other people have done it. He did it the best. I remember I went to Yankee Stadium once with a couple of my high school friends and we sat in the left field bleachers. He's playing left field. It's like late 80s. And he'd run out every inning. And our whole section was just screaming, Ricky, Ricky, trying to get him to turn around.
And he came out every inning for like five, six innings and he wouldn't turn around. And we're just, yeah, we're drinking. We're like, Ricky, come on, Ricky. One time, Ricky. Stonewalling us. Nothing. And then, then like the sixth inning, really?
We're like, Ricky, Ricky. And then finally he turned around, huge smile on his face and tipped his hat. But we had been doing it for like two hours. We were like, what was the tipping point for him? It's like, we couldn't have done that in the third inning, but it was just, we just, it was so much fun to just watch him like walk around, interact with people. Yeah. Well, there was nobody like him. His hearing was very bad. So maybe he didn't need just to notice it.
He was so much fun. What a bummer. I felt like he was on a lot of teams too. Like he was in the Red Sox. He was. He was on the Mets and Yankees. You can nail him out of the Mets and Yankees. Yeah. We had a fun year with him just watching him. I mean, he was an older version of himself. All right. Guess the lines. What's the score? Let's do it. You're up 8-7-1 heading into week 17.
Yeah. 8-7-1. So I don't know if you know this, but there's Christmas Day games this year. Are there really? Yeah. What? I mean, CBS? No, Netflix. What? The one where you mail in the DVDs and you get them back? How is that going to work? 20 people doing the two games.
Pretty much everybody. Oh, that was, it's a lot. Yeah. It's your nightmare. You hate that. Well, it seems like they're only going to have four or five people on the, on the thing, but nothing can be worse than Jack Collinsworth interviewing like Tony Dungy. What is that segment? Why does it get to make points? Just like Tony, what do you think about? Yeah. What do you think about their defense? Yeah.
So you're just setting them up for questions? Yeah, it's weird that Tony Dungy just asked himself the question. So I guess that's how it has to be. That would be amazing. You'll learn a lot from this guy, Jack. Just ask him anything. The Cowboys just play. That's the greatest game I've ever seen, Jack. Let's get a drink. I can watch these two teams play till March. Secondary. Christmas Day, Chiefs at Steelers. So spoiler alert, I have home underdogs for both games.
Chiefs at Steelers. I have Chiefs by two and a half in Pittsburgh. Here's where the cheating, the Netflix cheating begins. I had three. It is two and a half. Exactly. Should be two and a half. You're going to be in Pickens back for this game. Yeah. Super winnable game for the Steelers. This is a good one. Which NBA game is this up against? You're not going to watch any NBA, are you? I might sneak a little. I don't know what the NBA is doing with the scheduling. Three games today.
God forbid they had a game going against Cincinnati and Dallas on Sunday night, a game that literally meant nothing. God forbid they had one game going against that. They wouldn't do that? No. Didn't make sense. They're intentionally shooting themselves in the foot. Your Celtics play at 2 o'clock our time, so you should be good. It's a bored Celtics team. Just waiting to get to April now. The Celtics are, anytime they're favored by 10 and up against anybody, you got to be careful.
I just don't know. Like that first Bulls game they played. I know in the first quarter, I'm like, oh, it's one of these games. Okay. I got it. Well, let me know because I'll live bet against them. I know you won't, but just send me a little text. Tatum's been great. Next one is Ravens at Houston. No Tank Dell. No Stefan Diggs.
Mid-Carter's. Salvatore Belomo. Here we go. Salvatore Belomo. SD Jones. Ivan Putski. He's perfect, actually. Yeah. I have the Ravens by two and a half. All right. That's exactly what I had. It is three and a half. It's a tough one. I'd be surprised if Baltimore... What's the bet? For Wednesday? Celtics? No. Okay.
Man, I kind of like both favorites. I kind of do. I like the Steelers and the Tees. Thursday. So we had two Wednesday games and then somehow they were like, let's also have a Thursday game. Yeah, barely. Seahawks at the Bears. I have another road favorite. I have Seahawks by two and a half. I changed this. I had three and a half. I changed it to four and a half. We're going to split it. It is three and a half. I went four and a half. Yep.
Thank God they fired Matt Eberflus. What a freaking disaster. That fixed it. It really is something. Sunday marquee. This is a really good game. Vikings Packers in Minnesota. It's like one of the five best games of the year. Really good. I had the Vikings by two because I don't think, I think people, there's a shred of doubt, like which even you have. It should be a three, but I'm going to say Vikings by two. I had three and a half.
And I still need some convincing that it shouldn't be. You're right. It's one and a half. You get it. What did you guess? I had three and a half. Oh, Jesus. I mean, what do you mean, Jesus? No, people like this Packers thing. I know. One and a half is like, that's an even field line now. That means if it was in Green Bay, it would be Green Bay by one and a half. It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. Packers off a short week and Vikings. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to take the Packers after all this nonsense talk, but...
People like the Packers. Wow. So Steelers Packers is a tease. Look at that one. Watchables. I got four and it's mostly playoff related. Chargers at the Pats because the Chargers need it. I think it's a game to watch. It'll also be fun because Drake May is really good at football. You'll enjoy watching him. Drake May fans. It's a Saturday game. Saturday morning, right? For us. Oh, you're right. It's a Saturday game. Yeah, it's three Saturday games. Yeah.
Oh, see, I didn't mark down my Saturday games. This screws you up. This screws you up, buddy. I win the week. Bad hosting. I win the week. This is like you not signing your golf card at the end. No, no, no. I win the week. It's fine. Chargers-Pats. I have the Chargers by four in New England. All right, I get this. I said six and a half, and it's five and a half. That's stupid. It's too high. I like the Pats. No. Have you seen their quarterback?
The problem for the Pats in this game is they had the lad McConkie pick, number 34, traded backwards three spots to 37 to take Polk. Right. And then with the fourth rounder they got, they took Baker. And McConkie on Thursday night had more yards in that game than those two guys who had the entire season. Polk was good, though. Shit. Yeah. Polk lost his confidence. It was good. I don't know what happened.
Next Saturday game is Bengals Broncos. This is in Cincinnati. And I think there's going to be a little irrational Bengals love that pushes this line over three to three and a half. Bengals by three and a half. All right. Well, I was way irrational here. I said five and a half. It's three. Nobody trusts. Vandal does not trust the Bengals at all.
This does feel like a game too, by the way, you know? Yeah. I'm on it. Okay. All right. I didn't realize that I actually did this correctly because the third one I have, I just wrote down watchables and I meant to write down Saturday because the other one is Rams Cardinals, which is also a pretty good game. Yeah. Although the cards have been eliminated. It's in LA and I'm going to say Rams by four and a half. It's Rams. I got this exactly. It's five and a half. Oh, okay.
Notice I'm on with these picks. I'm like very close. This is usually a good sign for my betting. The Cardinals beat them 41-10 in September? Yeah, that was when the Rams were all banged up, though. Jeez. Fairly watchables. Tampa Bay Buccaneers home for the Carolina Panthers.
In a game that I think is almost guaranteed to be Joe House's underdog Moneyline special on the ringer Sunday pregame. He shouldn't do it. Lock it down. I have bucks by eight. You're going to get this. I said nine and a half. Why is it nine and a half? It's eight and a half. No, I did get it. Teaser. They played what? Two weeks ago? Three weeks ago? I don't think I would tease Tampa because of that. I didn't love their defense. That was another iffy game for them.
Okay. Next fairly watchable dolphins at Cleveland. What does fairly mean anymore? I got to look up fairly. Well, it's an important game for the dolphins. The Browns are always a dumpster fire. It's cold weather. Miles Garrett. Um, this game can go in a lot of directions. I have dolphins by six and a half. I get this. I said six. It is five and a half. Hmm.
Six to five, you're up. That would be a nice little cold weather test for the Dolphins if it's cold. Yeah. Right? Let's see what you guys have. Is there a team, a quarterback bad enough that you could win whether the temperature doesn't matter? It's interesting. Is there another quarterback they can play? Are they down the road with Thompson Robinson? Is there anybody else? They're talking about signing him for next year already. I was looking into this. Keeping him around. Eagles, Cowboys in Philly.
And I would have said 10 and a half before what I watched today. And now I'm going to say nine. Yeah, you're going to get it anyway. I said eight and a half. It is 10 and a half. You could have stuck there. Oh, Jesus. That's too high. 34.6 they beat us in November. That's too high, especially because I'm not convinced Hertz plays next week. Are you? Well, is it going to be a dependent neurologist or an independent neurologist that tests us?
We shouldn't make jokes. I don't know. Is this his first concussion? But the game doesn't 100% matter for them. Why wouldn't they take it easy with them and just play picket for a week? Right. Yeah, it's true. They like beating the Cowboys. That's why. Four poop-fected games. Bills, Giants, and Buffalo. I got Bills by 12 and a half. Jets, right? Bills, Jets. My bad. Bills minus 12 and a half against the Jets. Oh, no. I had 10. It's nine and a half. Too low.
Let's take that. Let's figure something out with that. It feels like a three-team seven-pointer. Yeah. Saints home for the Raiders. Awful game. I have the Saints by two and a half. Jerk. I had three. It is two and a half. Colts at the Giants. What's crazy is I don't think the Giants can be getting under a touchdown against anybody at this point who's half-finalist.
decent to somewhat crappy which is the Colts are in there no go on you should guess under guess under a touchdown I got Colts minus eight shit I said six it's seven and a half you got it I'm on this week so damn hold on let me count can I even win I'm on you're done seven eight nine two three four five six you're right three I'm down three with three left Jags home for the Titans
I got Jags minus one and a half. I think this is a neutral field line. Man, I can't believe how much I'm losing by half a point here. I said two. It is one and a half.
I'm on it today. Really, it's like when the Patriots were cheating at their best, the spy cams and everything, stealing signs, everything working. You say what you need to say to help yourself. That's what you got. Thank you. I mean, we agreed that minus one and a half is the neutral field line, right? I know. They shouldn't even have a line on this. Are the Jags one iota better than the Titans or vice versa? They both suck. I mean, that's a neutral field line. And it was 10-6 a couple weeks ago. Sunday night, Washington, home,
For the Falcons. It's a good game. Does it mean anything for the Washington? I know there's like a 3% chance they don't make it or something, but that touchdown now, that really did kill me. Does it mean anything? Let me see. So... No, they could still, I think, be out. No, Seattle or Atlanta. Like the Seattle-Atlanta combo could catch them, right?
Well, you get like a three-way tie at 10 and seven. I guess that's what it would be. If they had clinched, we would have heard that they clinched. Right. No, I know. I saw Kornacki. Oh, and by the way, they're playing Atlanta, which is one of the teams that can catch them. Right. Washington minus three and a half is my guess. I get this. I said four. It's four and a half. But I think that's a little high. That's too high. Atlanta has Kyle Pitts, though. They factored in the Kyle Pitts team interception. Yeah.
Last one, Monday night, a game that I guarantee they were thinking was going to be fucking awesome. Detroit at San Francisco. This was like ESPN was probably one of their first draft picks when they draft the
what games they want to have for Monday night. It's probably a top three game, right? Oh yeah. Let's put that December after the Monday after Christmas Lions Niners. That's going to be one of our best games. We'll have an awesome manning cast. Well, the joke's on you because this game's going to suck. Lions minus six and a half is my guess. Wow. I said five and a half. It is three and a half, Bill. Oh my Lord. Wait, did I maybe six, eight, three, four,
Yep, I won. No, no, you won. 10-8. Damn. What? Three and a half. What's the explanation for that? The Lions need the game. They're trying to get the one seed. How does that make sense? Is this a get right game for the Niners offense? If the Lions are that banged up, now have to travel. You know, I'm in an unbelievable hedge situation with the Lions one seed if they win that game.
Cause we both have, we have a lot of one seed money. Yeah. Yeah. We're like, we had them at like six to one. They're going to be home for Minnesota week 18. Right. Yeah, sure. If they win, they get the one seed. If they lose, they don't get the one seed. We'll be able to take the Minnesota money line and just walk away with a profit. And yet we won't do it because we're going to have that heat moment.
Where you do the Tom Sizemore and you go, for me, the action is the juice. Let's ride the lions. And all of a sudden we're riding the lions. That's how it's going to play out. I like that movie a lot. And I like where you're coming from. Should we bet the Vikings this week? Isn't that kind of the same thing? Well, the parlay would be they'd have to beat Green Bay and Detroit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If they lose this game. But the odds wouldn't be. Right. I don't think the odds are worth how hard that's going to be to do that. All right. Do they have the odds? I'm going on FanDuel now. For the division? Yeah. Minus 290 for Detroit, plus 240 for the Vikings. I guess we could just do that. You can't be the one seed and not win the division, right? You know, another interesting thing that happened with, speaking of FanDuel, did you see the MVP ads?
I have not looked. Cause Alan, Alan wasn't awesome today. Yeah. It's down to minus four 50. Right. They're playing. Who did, who did they say? Who'd we say they're playing this week? They're playing the jets and then week 18 pats. He might not even play. And then Lamar's playing on Christmas.
Trying to get the two-seater and three-seed. Lots of eyeballs there, yeah. So Lamar is plus 380 now for MVP. He'll have to win the division, right? So he has to get lucky and have big games. I think if he's incredible on Christmas, it's in play. But Allen was 9-1 Thursday, and now he's minus 450. Yeah, well, he threw an interception. God forbid. That's good. That's a good battle, I think. And then make the playoffs odds...
Then we have four. Cincinnati's 22 to one, not to make the play. Wait a minute. That went up from this morning there. If you bet them to make the playoffs, it's plus 1040. It was 680. They have a worse shot now, I guess, because the Colts, you know, because of the Colts and Dolphins. Yeah. Wow. Numbers are fun. Yeah. The Colts are plus 390 and the Dolphins are plus 820. In Denver's minus 280. Yeah.
So the Colts need Denver to lose to Cincinnati and then they need to win their last two, which you said were very easy, right? Who was it? The Raiders? Yeah, but they're the Colts. I know they really are. Richardson just loves to throw. They're playing the Giants, so they'll win next week. Yeah. But then they're home against the Jags. I guess that's pretty easy. Those might be two of the three worst teams in the league. Yeah. The Jags will try, though. So Indy...
That's a fun one. Yes, plus 390. Denver has... Denver's at Cincinnati, home KC. Yeah. Why are they favored? I go back and forth as to who that's going to matter for. Well, now it's going to matter for Denver, right? Is Denver in if they win? No. Yeah, I think they have to win the last two. They have to win both. Yeah. Yeah. Yep, that makes sense. Interesting. And then we have conference...
I think Denver would only have to win one, Simmons, because that minus 280, it wouldn't be minus 280 if they have to win both. Would it be? Yeah, maybe they just have, or maybe they have to win one and then all the other variables if anyone loses anything. So they have one seed bets on Fandle. Detroit's minus 310. Minnesota's plus 310. Eagles are 17 to one. They're not winning. So we could hedge right now with the Vikings plus 310 if we wanted to. Plus 310?
For me, the action is the juice. That's it, Billy Sizemore. I like it. Stay in put.
What do you think, Raheem? The bank is worth the risk. Raheem's threatening to go in another cold funk, by the way. I'm worried about him. What do you mean? He lost a couple bets. He was all upset. Yeah, it's all right. He's in Vegas. He'll be fine. He's in Vegas for like three and a half weeks. What could go wrong?
We'll see him for a round one in my house. Yeah. I don't know what kind of shape he's going to be in mentally, what kind of shape JJ's going to be in. What if we get Dolphins in round one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we should start rooting for the Dolphins now. Oh, that's what we need. So Rudy says the Broncos only have to win one of the next two to get in, which we probably should have known. Minus 280, yeah. That's at Cincy, home KC. Well, they're only a three-point underdog at Cincy, so they're right there.
What do you got for parent corner? Parent corner. All right. So, I mean, you would thank you for checking up on me there Saturday. It did turn out my son did not have ringworm. So we did have to go to the tournament. I had to drive him to get weighed in because the team doesn't have buses at 7 a.m. Sat in my car. I bet EPL like a lunatic tournament started at 930. All these games going on, you know, it was supposed to be. Luckily, the games weren't great.
But, you know, I still had to watch wrestling till like 2 p.m. So my car from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. The fight was at like 1.30. It was like 2.30. I got home just in time for it. Yeah. Okay. But you and I were talking about this and I feel like we should go further with it
This is, I think you said something like we do these things. Why? So that our kids don't abandon us later in life when we need them. Oh, you want to talk? This is, yeah, this is a depressing text thread we had. It was, but I think it's, I think we should make it official. I don't know what we call this, but we should make agreements with our kids. It's layaway plans. Is it layaway? Yeah. When we get old and we're dying and they're taking care of us.
If they give any, if they complain at all, we're like, I was at that fucking wrestling tournament for you. Right. Yeah.
I wasted my whole Saturday. It was a great sports day. You're going to go get me a glass of water now. I like it, but I wonder if we present it right away. Right when they move out, when they're 18 years old, you have a list, like a scroll of stuff. I don't know if we call it a parental prenup or kinsurance maybe. You just show your kid. Kinsurance. Kinsurance. That's what it is. You have to take care of me.
Yeah. And it's like, Hey, remember you got a D in geometry and I found out and you told your mother, you got to see. And, uh, well, I'd never said anything. So you have to shop for me when I'm old. And remember, I took you to wrestling tournaments in orange County at 6.00 AM all throughout the fall. And I had to watch Penn state who had thousands of dollars on a teaser.
Also for your benefit on my phone from the smelly bleachers, you're gonna wipe me when I turn 80, all right? And if I bail you out of juvenile detention, you're building a ramp in my house when I can't walk up the stairs. I think we should have to lay it out for these kids.
As we're, you know, it's not like, all right, plus you get money, whatever, if I pass on. But I think this needs to be an official thing. Kinsurance. Kinsurance. So your dad, if he had played the Kinsurance card a couple years ago, is anything different? You're spending more time with him on the weekends? I would never see him after he turned 50. Yeah.
No, no, no. You're like, I've lost your insurance papers. No, he's like the Dallas Cowboys. Like, you know what? Why couldn't you be good early in the season, early in my life? Why are you turning it on now as a grandparent? No, I shouldn't say that. He's a great dude. Insurance. Why are you trying to finish nine and eight? What would you say to Ben? What would you present to Ben? I mean, I'm lying for Ben tonight.
He's got girls over and he's like, don't tell mom. I'm like, all right, I won't tell her. Oh shit, now I'm on a live YouTube. I guess I said something. There you go. He's got to take you to the Celtics. I'm going to invite people over while my dad's doing a podcast in a different room in the house. Perfect. Yeah, it's great. In fact, we probably should wrap it up soon. Yeah, I'm going to cash in on my Kinsurance. I love it. So mine, so my stepmom. I think you just said yours. It's better than that.
he's got girls over right now my uh my stepmom who has been in my life since the mid-80s and the whole time when we met her she was like a young when my dad met her she was a young doctor right and you know doing like the crazy hours like you would see on the Grey's Anatomy and just like nuts and then eventually that got better and better ahead of practice she's
Been, you know, delivering babies, doing all kinds of stuff. OBGYN forever. And this is this is end of the year. She's done retiring. Really? Yeah. That's it. Great career. Saw a lot of female body parts. Delivered a lot of babies. Not as many as Ben, but yeah. Had a lot of and it's a weird thing because like Zoe had a playoff game.
um, like a month ago and the coach came over the other team for the game. And it was in my, it was like, my stepmother was like, Oh, I delivered her baby. And it's like, she just runs into these people who she's delivered babies and done these, you know, the most intimate kind of like doctor patient things. And it's like, Oh, this is Jessica. I've delivered three of her kids. So anyway, she's wrapping it up. Um, so I thought since this is a nice moment, um,
I would, I would tell a story about my stepmother, but I don't know if I've done much on parent corner who doesn't like to be talked about at all. And it's probably mortified right now. Um, when she, when I was in going to college in, uh, Worcester, but then I was living in Boston, I would go hang out with my dad and we would watch sports, you know, we'd go watch like South, the game football game. I would just go over, we'd get dinner.
And she would always be on call. And part of the reason I would be over is like, oh, we'll watch sports. Molly's not gonna be home. Like she, she wouldn't want to watch her car would always, you would see like they had this driveway in front of where the TV was in the window.
And there would be like a minute left and be like, tie game. We'll be back after this to see what happens with Larry Bird and the Celtics. And then the headlights would be in the driveway and it would be like, oh, she's home. And then she would come in and we'd, and my dad would have to talk to her about her day.
as like the last minute of these games. And I used to think it was like the funniest thing ever. I was like, oh my God, like uncanny timing for, for showing up anytime there's a big moment. Right. And I thought it was like a, like a couple of time coincidence thing, but it became something that happened all the time. And I was telling my buddy Gus about this and he had the same thing with his wife where he'd be watching like a Mets game and she'd come home with the groceries. Oh my God, I got to tell you a story.
And it's like, I think some people have this power and other people don't where they show up at the perfectly wrong time of the game. So I was like, well, when I get married, that's never going to happen to me. And then I met my wife, same thing shows up.
comes home right there in these huge moments. Do you think some people just have these powers? It's like a magnet? Because my stepmother, I feel like, invented it. I think 30, 40 years ago, it was more of a power. Now, you and I watch sports all the time. So it's going to be... Do you think we'd even phase us because sports is on all the time? But also our TV breaks into four bots. There's always going to be something interesting that they're going to walk in on. We can pause it. Right.
Right. What I want to know is maybe like a fox, she's been hanging out in the driveway listening to the Celtics game. Oh, waiting to fuck with us? Waiting, yes. Oh, that's interesting. She's a bigger Celtics fan than you are, it turns out. She's actually roots harder than you. I wouldn't be surprised. She's the greatest practical joker of all time. I like that. Her favorite Celtic was Robert Parrish.
Nice. Still wears the Paris jersey or the KG jersey to the games. Really? When my dad met her, she didn't know anything about sports. Like nothing, didn't have a TV. And now has this whole Celtics sister. Anyway. That's great. Dr. Molly Clark, hanging it up. End of the year. Great job by her. Great job by you, Dr. Molly Clark. Yeah, she delivered- A lot of deliveries, a lot of vaginas. She delivered 14 of Tiny Archibald's babies. Calvin Murphy. I don't know.
No idea. What do you got for the holidays? How many people? Well, we got a ringer pregame show next Sunday. I don't know if I mentioned I'm 14-2 with my wisest wager against the odds. You didn't mention that. Oh, I didn't. I should mention it now. 14-2. That's pretty good. Christmas games we'll talk about on Against All Odds, the NBA picks. We got a lot for you. There. That's it. Just sticking around. What do you got? How many people?
How many people for Christmas? How many people during those two Christmas games? How many people are you going to have to navigate? Nine. That's not bad. Nine. Yeah. Not too bad. You know what's interesting? The games are earlier.
Yeah, right. Because they wanted to get them on and like, you know, Europe. And so the first game's at 10 o'clock. It's like almost like Thanksgiving times. And then the second one's at 1.30. There's no night game. I think Thanksgiving's a bigger pain to ask to navigate because you have that hour. You actually have to sit at a table. Christmas, you know, you have the same kind of thing, but.
Opening gifts doesn't take forever anymore, does it? Well, we don't have little kids anymore. Well, how long did you knock even so? The little kids part, though, that's like in the morning, you open, you take the pictures, and then at 10 o'clock, you're like, all right, I'll see you guys later. Mahomes is on. It's tough. It's a tough one to pull off. I need a wife who delivers babies or something so she can go and I'll let her know when to come in. A lot of babies. Babies, they name babies after her?
That's great. Like hundreds of Molly's in the, in the, uh, new England area. Cause everybody likes her. Amazing. Good job. Hanging it up. Uh, speaking of hanging it up, we're hanging up the podcast. Thanks to Kyle and Saruti and Gahal. Sal, I'm going to be back with the rewatchables on Monday. And then I'm not going to be back on this podcast till Thursday. When, what's your schedule going to be?
I don't care about your other podcast. Against all odds, you'll hear it Tuesday morning. We'll do it right after the Monday night game. And like I said, bring a pregame show on Sunday. Check it out. Good job by you. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas.
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