Side Stories: Christmas Crimes
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There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Eddie.

Welcome to 2025. You look good. I feel bad. Yeah. You've been sick. I've been sick. I got the bird flu or the new China flu. I got something. You got something inside of you, but whatever it is, honestly, I like that it's made you humble. Thank you. Yeah, no, I was humble when I was holding my belly in my room. Just going, don't you leave. Stay away. Stay away from me. Just like the Virgin Mary on the Christmas Eve's Eve. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it is interesting how pathetic you can get when you're very sick. Well, what's sad is how debased a man allows himself to get. Yeah. I know I'm, other men, because I am one of the bravest, strongest survivors that's ever lived through a cold or having hurt my toe or having hurt my thumb.

And the one thing that Natalie will tell you is that I suffer in silence like a World War II veteran. No one knows that I'm in discomfort and I never show a sign of weakness. Never. Not once. Never been weak. No, no, no, no. I...

make sure when i'm sick i'm volunteering at the firehouse oh absolutely that's what i do i'm brave that's different i'm down at the mission i'm built different yeah yeah yeah i'm built different i am uh i'm one of the most incredible husbands has ever been but honestly eddie i'm glad you're okay yeah i finally got the confidence to fart again which is nice well you're afraid you were gonna spray or i did i had a couple uh i shit myself twice

Welcome to Side Stories. And that's how you start 2025 the proper way. I'm your host, Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with your other host, Ed Larson. Ooh.

And he's just been sick. The one thing I will say- I'm going to get sick again this weekend in Atlanta. Be good. I hope you do. We are coming, Atlanta. To the Coca-Cola Roxy. Last podcast on the left. Coca-Cola Roxy. Yes. On Saturday night. Come check it out. 7 p.m. Come get stinky. And then we're at Dad's Garage on Sunday, but sold out. Can't see it. Sold out. So you got to come to the last podcast. But I will say, if you're coming to the Dad's Garage show, bring suggestions. Yes, because we're going to try a little-

Improvisation. Improvisation. But I will say it's nice to be back in the studio. It's the year 2025. The jingle bells are receding. The Jews have thrown their menorahs in the rivers. And the Muslims have gone back to do whatever they do during the December year. Ramadan if you do. Ramadan if you don't. Last I heard.

But now it's time to get in some updates because we're here. The news has not stopped. You lost a friend. Can we give him a more? Can we have any taps? Do you have Sarah McLachlan's in the arms of the angel?

Now, I like to follow on Instagram, obviously, as many do. I like to follow. I don't like smart dogs. I don't like skilled dogs. I like an old, shivering dog. Oh, the best. And it's my favorite follow on Instagram. I like ones that are, they have little legs, malformed faces. I like when they have names like Pips or...

or Mr. Crunkles. That's like some of my favorite stuff. But what no one tells you, I think one of the worst phenomena that no one explains about social media is when a pack, literally several of the little tiny dogs that you follow die. Yeah. And then I was, so I was watching throughout all of obviously the Christmas season. I'm filled with anger as normal. And,

And I'm going through and I'm looking at my favorite little guy, Lil Hobbs. Love Lil Hobbs. Love Lil Hobbs. I was looking through all his Christmas content. Again, they're crushing it. Rolling it out three times a week. I can depend upon it. Looking at it, right? All of a sudden, which I think is hilarious, January 2nd arrives. Yeah. Here comes the post. We regret to inform you and the entire Lil Hobbs family that Lil Hobbs is

Died before Christmas. So my thing is that I've been watching Lil' Hobbs dance and bark and yip. And he's been a fucking corpse for three weeks. And I'm watching this. I'm watching this ghost. It's like watching photos of just because you know how much. So are you mad about this? I don't know. I think it's good. I mean, you needed Lil' Hobbs. I did. But Lil' Hobbs. This was a stressful time for you. Lil' Hobbs is fucking dead.

Yeah, but Little Hobbs was dead and Little Hobbs still made you feel delight. Yeah, but now the true despair that the moment made me feel sort of obliterated all of the happiness he provided. It's kind of like how... Well, it's January 2nd. You're supposed to feel nothing on January 2nd. You're correct. And it was a thankful reminder to remember that 2025 is going to be mean and hard and long. Little Hobbs' owners, masters...

They did a good service. Plus, they had the content made. That's so sad. They were like, Hobbs is dying. Put the Christmas sweater on. I know it's November 18th. Get the little hat. Get the little hat. We're going to have to go into storage. We're going to have to get their Christmas shit out soon. Yes, because there are now two tumors in his intestines, and we need to get this shit. We have ads sold through.

fucking November 30th. Oh, man. We have ads sold, honey. Yeah, we gotta keep it coming. I respect the fucking commitment. No, I do too. I'm just saying, when should we tell everybody? You know that was the talk they had after they put Hobbs down. The first thing is they're just sitting there talking about, probably talking about merch rollouts while they're watching little Hobbs going...

And they're just sitting there just being like, you know, we really are going to have to, you know, we're going to have to knuckle down and get some. I know that we all wanted to get that new Lil' Hob's chess set going, and we're having some problems with some Chinese manufacturers, but I think we're going to have to get that on the double. I wonder if, like, the vet, like, takes pride that they put down a famous dog. Oh, they should have the list. Put it on there. Put it on the wall. We put down Lil' Hob's. Ha ha ha ha.

The final resting place of Little Hobbs. Only in Los Angeles. Man, know who knows an old dog I love? Norbert. He's not long for this world. Norbert. After watching Little Hobbs go down, because I also follow Norbert. I love Norbert. And I love Miss Sunday, the black lab. Do you know her? No, but the black labs are even harder because Norbert will live...

to a shivering 22 years old. I mean, Norbert's a big dog. Norbert's a four-pound dog. Oh, no, we're talking about different Norberts. That's what I'm saying. Sunday. I got a pint of Pitbull Norbert. Oh, this is not the Norbert you follow? This is not my Norbert. Wait a second, Ed.

This ain't my Norbert. We have to talk about this. How is Norbert not suing your Norbert? He typed in Norbert the dog, and the first one that popped up is my Norbert. Really? Man, I think it's targeted at me. And I started like, it's just some old lady that puts a hat on their pit bull, and she drives it around. It's like, hey, Norbert, want some ice cream? Want some ice cream?

Norbert's just sitting there like not even paying attention or knowing what's happening. The problem with the bigger dog influencers, that's extremely cute. But the bigger dog influencers, they do die faster. Oh, absolutely. And that is the worst. And Sunday the Black Lab, she's retired now. They said that she's not dead.

But she's hot. Not dead. Quote unquote. So they had to say she's not dead? No, no, no. Well, they said she's retiring from social media. And I bought a calendar for Julie for Christmas. And for my dog, Nanny Max. See, this is what little Hobbs learn. This is what you learn. Dog.

never dies. The dog retires. Miss Sunday's hot. I always show Rambo videos of Miss Sunday and be like, look at this bitch. Oh, you're talking about the dog. I'm talking about, yeah. Okay, you're talking about the older African-American lady that owns it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The dog is a bitch. Yes, yes, yes. And there's the calendars I bought when we have one up in my house. It's not too late to get your Miss Sunday calendars. Go out there to Miss Sunday the Black Lab. But she dresses, sometimes she dresses like a bus driver.

I can't believe this. And then other times she dresses like she works at the DMV. That's very cute. And she's very cute. I love Miss Sunday. Oh, I'm glad. And she loves her baths. Okay, well now we're just talking about dogs. I love them. And it's very sweet. It's very sweet. You're taking it, bringing it in the new year, talking about these old assholes.

ass dogs. My dogs are still alive. Your dogs are still alive. Against all odds. Oh yeah, no, and Carmi's still alive even though she went into underneath the tree. She found my mom in all of her generosity. My mom does this thing. She's still feeding Gracie Mae from the grave. She does a little, and I don't mean, I mean this with all love. She's becoming slightly like an Aunt Bethany from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation where she is just wrapping stuff and

And so we did not know she had wrapped a bar of dark chocolate underneath the tree. And Carmi, who's a little Brittany Murphy, she is becoming in love. She loves anything that can kill her. Baby oil? Yes. Getting that laced baby oil?

And so she goes and she found the bar of chocolate. She waited. She literally had probably located it before. Natalie stepped out. I mean this. She went under the tree while Natalie was gone for 10 minutes, ate the bar of chocolate, then thousands of dollars later just got to be confused in a fucking urgent care room. I have no idea, but she lived his life. When you wrap candy, it goes in the tree or in the stocking.

Don't wrap candy. Don't wrap candy. Just give candy. Just give candy. Just give candy. You're right. You're right. Yeah, but don't put it under the tree. The dogs will get it. Speaking of dogs are sick, Ed's sick. I'm not. I'm invulnerable. I actually think that Trot, honestly, I'm the best I've ever been. I feel that I'm only getting stronger, funnier, more handsome. Fatter.

Bulking. I'm bulking. I'm bigger muscly. I benched. I double dumbbell benched 45 pounds the other day with two hands the other day. 45 pounds. And he channed it. For me. Really? That was big for me. Can you curl 45?

I can curl 35. Whoa. I'm strong now. That's very, I don't think I could do that. No, I'll kill any other podcaster that tries to fuck with me. I don't think that's true at all. Oh, no, I'll come get them. There's so many podcasters that just eat liver. You know, it's just fun to do. I like to challenge them with fights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they never get any attention. Now, let's talk about some couple of great, great updates for this year immediately. Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Now, our guy, one of our favorite guys here, father of the year, Josef Fritzl. Now, he's been in jail. He's 89 years. Fine. And he's still in Austria. Now it's been the psychiatric detention in this high security unit, essentially in a home for the criminally insane. But they've been floating that he might get paroled. How long has he been locked up? He has been locked up since...

What was that day? 2009. 2009. And so he, so now, but he's saying straight up, first of all, he doesn't understand the big hubbub. He doesn't know why everybody's still so upset with him because according to him, I was actually a good father.

Moreover, he claims, I specifically saved money to help with children's education. I visited the children often and helped them whenever they were given chance to do. I helped them and encouraged them to play musical instruments and so forth. I know that one of my daughters, I made a mistake and I regret that.

But apart from that, I believe that I was actually a good father. That is a direct quote from Yosef Ritzel. For those of you who don't know, he made a family with his daughter. He created a sex dungeon that she was put inside of, and then he made a secret family in there. It didn't go well for him. Now he's in jail. But they're saying that he might get parole, and he has insisted he needs a house with a basement.

And it is what he says. Is that true? It is the first thing he said that he says that, number one, he says he no longer feels comfortable driving. It's the traffic. I never put these on their phones.

He's not happy with driving. And he says that he needs the, he must have a residence near a train equipped with a basement. And that's what he says. His attorney, Astrid Wagner, told local media every day he dreams of having his own house or apartment. See? But it must have a basement. It must have a basement. Because he says he has so many files. Oh.

Oh, he needs to keep all his files. He has so many files. Yeah, well, you can't keep those above ground. Yeah, but you know, tell me about this because I just watched that. I've seen clips from the movie Baby Girl. Oh, yeah. It's a sex movie. I know, yeah, the Nicole Kidman movie, Her Disclosure. But the whole thing I see now is because that big, that song.

It's like a famous song from and it's a big sexy moment just him coming down to the basement. I will be your fossil figure. I can see him coming in all sexy. I can be your fossil figure. What if they put him in the basement of the prison?

Wouldn't that work? He doesn't want to be in the basement. He doesn't want to have a basement. Oh, he wants to have a basement. Yeah, he doesn't want to be in the basement. He's got to put other people in the basement. Daughters go in basements. That's right. Fathers are in the living room. He should be in prison at least as long as he kept his daughter in prison. At the bare minimum. He's going to die in there. There's no way he's going to. They're all basically saying. They're not letting him out. Not really. They're saying that essentially he's going to be moved to a lower security prison, but they think that the idea of total freedom is not going to happen.

How long did they give him when he got sentenced? I forgot what the sentence was. They tried. You remember it was, oh, it was kind of like Anders Breivik. I believe it was like one of those, they like put him in jail and they're like, we'll figure this out later. Oh. Because it's one of these countries where they don't know. Like, it's just a very liberal country. Yeah. Oh, life imprisonment with the possibility of parole after 15 years. Yeah, so now it's 15 years. All right. So he's allowed. He's allowed.

You might as well ask. Hey, come on. He's like, I was hearing about these pelotons. I would like to use, I heard they do a thing too, where it turns the screen and it takes you anywhere. And I would like to ride my bike along my daughter's naked body. Well, that's different, Yosef. You can't do it. Fly from your grave.

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Second update. Yeah, what's going on with these things, man? Well, drones. I'm not even going to start talking about the drones. Why? Oh, because you're going to be just like them. No. You're keeping it a secret. No. You're not telling anyone. No. It's just that it seems to have- What are you hiding? The wave has passed. Honestly, I think it's a prediabetes.

I think I'm going to be diagnosed with prediabetes. That's what I'm hiding. But what I am not hiding is the fact that the story has now, as we knew it would eventually go, it has drifted past. We are now past it. We're now new. Now we're just in Trump nonsense zone, which we're going to be for the next four years. And it's going to be a lot like

That. So one thing that the official statement. But it stopped, right? Yeah, so far. The official statement, the last that we heard from the U.S. government, was they said, We assess that the sightings to date include a combination of lawful commercial drones, hobbyist drones, and law enforcement drones, as well as manned fixed-wing aircraft, helicopters, and stars mistakenly reported as drones. Definitely, because we're fucking stupid.

And then Jacob Weinling, another guy who's a reporter, he believes that the drones are a part of this $1.5 trillion drone air taxi program rollout, which I get. I don't think the way to start the air taxis is to make everybody afraid of them and not know what they are. I think that mostly if you want a...

Yeah, you're like, check out the air taxi. It's totally safe. This is like the thing you do at the World's Fair. What a funny thing. You bring it out. You get Jules Verne's hologram to introduce it. I don't think we need to fool us. I think that we just would either take the air taxis or not.

I know that in L.A. we're supposed to be taking air taxis to the Olympics maybe in 2028. That's right. We'll see. Three years from now, we're going to be taking air taxis. All I know is what am I going to do? Am I going to take some air taxi and it's going to be some guy named like Treejor and he's going to be like, I'm actually also a DJ and he's going to hand me his fucking headshots. Is it going to be the same? It's going to be the same. Yeah, it's not someone's first job. What else? What do you really do?

This is like, actually, I'm making slime for children. It's my favorite. I make slime. It's here. If you want some slime, I have a bucket. Now, they also say, so nothing's really come out. I do have a letter again. But what about the orbs? What do they say about the orbs? Absolutely nothing, Eddie. Those are, again, stars. You're an idiot. You're stupid. Well, so many times, I will say that there was a couple times where I was like, you know, I'd get drunk. And you're like, oh, yeah, that's right, drones. And I'd go outside and I'd start staring at the sky and I got my star finder out, you know.

And I'm like, is that a drone? No, it's Star. Ursa Major. You know, I'm like sitting there. And then I'm like, oh, that one's two stars. That's got to be a drone. I was like, oh, no, I'm drunk. I forgot. That's not two stars. I just can't see right now. Eddie, you know what, though?

These are the beginnings of a true investigator. That's where it all begins. You never remember to check when you're sober. Why would you? Because when you're sober, you're doing something like, where the fuck are these drugs? I gotta do something about the sky. I gotta get outside. There's something out there I gotta do something about. And my wife doesn't want...

want me to do something about it. It's never when Julie's home that I'm looking for drones. It's always like when she's gone too long. Yeah, of course. Hold on a second. Yeah, because what are you doing with your sitting at home with your beautiful wife watching television with your dog? You're not searching for the truth. Yeah, my life is good in that moment. When my life is empty, I'm like, alright, let's go find the aliens. Truth and love go like this inside of the male mind. Truth and love go back and forth. Truth will

eventually destroy love but for a while love does help tamper down the effects of truth but according to this licensed drone operator imagine if you didn't have Natalie you'd be off the road you'd be done you'd be like trying to like go to space I mean honestly I don't even think about what it'd be like if I was truly untethered and just how much damage I could cause and how much fun that would be for me

How good it would be for America. Think about that. Think about that. She doesn't listen, right? The key really is to go through a divorce, which is what we'll talk about a couple of big divorce energy guys in today's episode that we're going to talk about. That's when I can really start focusing on my plans. But according to this licensed drone operator,

I'm a licensed drone operator in eastern South Dakota with two separate drone sightings. I regularly operate a DJI Agrus T-50. That means nothing to me. It's a thing. It's a drone. Which is one of the largest commercial drones available to the

After looking at a ton of New Jersey drone footage, I can say that there's no way that they are legally flying commercial drones. If they are drones and they are significantly more advanced than anything we've seen, battery life on large drones is extremely limited. And even if the drone is just hovering with minimum wind, you got maybe 15 to 20 minutes before it automatically tries to land due to low battery.

add windy conditions, and you're looking at 10 minutes of flight time. Additionally, in my experience, the battery used in these drones are very sensitive to temperature, and you see a significant drop in battery efficiency in colder weather. That's fascinating. That I did not know. Look at this thing. Yeah, that's a big old drone. This guy flies.

I also don't see how these flights can be legal. The FAA has very strict rules about operating large drones over populated areas. Drones are also legally required to transmit a radio frequency ID at all times while airborne air traffic control and pilots of manned aircraft can be aware of them. The New Jersey drones apparently do not transmit an RFID and their operators are not communicating with air traffic control or pilots of local aircraft. Now, this guy, he said he had two sightings. First sighting was over the Volga, South Dakota.

On December 11, 2024. Volva, South Dakota. Volga. Oh, Volga. Volga.

Which is a woman named Gernkas Volvas, what you called her, Volgas. Now, I saw what looked like an airplane with red and green running lights and a bright white light that looked kind of like a spotlight. I thought it was a plane flying low over town for some reason until I noticed the object was hovering in place. I also saw it turn off its white spotlight and it had no flashing anti-collision lights, which are required on all aircraft.

The object turned and hauled us out of town before I could get a video. Second sighting on December 15, 2024 at about 8.10 p.m., three of us saw four to six yellow-orange lights flying in a circular pattern in the sky west of Arlington, South Dakota. They would come in and out of view almost like fireflies in the dark, but definitely flying in a circular pattern. Their movement was almost floaty, and they turned too tightly and flew too closely to be standard aircraft. They also didn't have anti-collision lights, which are standard and were

An all-man, an unmanned aircraft. We watched for about 10 minutes until we got cold, and then we went inside. Okay. So that's one of those. I'm going to leave it for now. We'll see what happens. This is going to develop. Drones? I mean, like, all right, so what about, like, the big drones, like Obama's drones, the flying murder robots? His children? His babies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, those drones exist. You know, those things could fly across oceans.

Right. No, I don't know. No, they get deployed. They get deployed, but they're not, they're up in the air. Those are military grade. Those are military grade. And it's different because they're also, they're on, they are unmanned. It's just different. But weren't we worried that some of these were military grade drones? Well, they weren't killing us and they weren't bombing us. So we don't know what they were doing. Yeah.

We also made things that I believe we make drones. They look like this. You see these things? They look like planes. Yeah. No, that's what I'm talking about. Yes. This is very different. These fly very, very, very high up. And what they do is they identify where to go, and then there's the strafing drones that come in and shoot the missiles. The thing is, if you wanted the drones to be secret,

Why would you put lights on them? It's a whole thing, Eddie. Why would you have lights? Well, because the other drones got to see you fly around. It's going to be a mystery that we are not going to solve. They're not going to let us solve. Is this going to be the Phoenix lights all over again? Yes. And she's never going to explain it? No. And we're just going to talk about it every once in a while? Well, it has been explained, Eddie, as we saw on my stream, on our stream, and all this. Nothing's happening. Nothing's going on. We're stupid. Everything that people see is stars or planes.

And you got big, fat, dumb, drunk eyeballs. And you have little feet and a dumb... I have big feet. Thank you very much. I'm size 13 shoe. If anybody wanted to buy me shoes. Send him shoes. Send me shoes. I'm walking around like Fred Flintstone. Yes, yes. He really is. It's very strange. You can hear his soul scrape on the tile. Yeah.

So that's one update. We'll just leave it behind for now. And then this next update is, this is one more shade to this mystery that does not make sense. We live for stories about shit in the road.

It's not just because, you know, it's stuff attached to shit in the road. And also kind of funny, I think, in a way, how in small town America, the road is almost a way to communicate. It's the only way you're going to talk to anyone. It seems to be between the fucking piles of stuff. All that kind of stuff. It just seems to be people choose roads. Yeah, maybe this guy in Kansas just needed to make friends. Well, it sounded like he did want to make some friends, but...

We don't know what he wanted to do with those friends. Now, this is an update to our story out of Bennington, Nebraska, where they say...

At least, according to the last report, four accidents occurred, I believe it's on Highway 36 at night, where an object was left in the middle of the road. One person said they said a flat screen TV, or there was a bike in the middle of the road. That's a hard thing to see in the middle of the night in a road. It's almost like he purposely did it so that he could crash into it. But he wants them to swerve, right? Don't know. So...

What happens is, is that this happened now several times in this small little town where the car swerves. I wish there was more, like the TV was set up and there was like road on the TV. Like he's wildly coyote-y. And so people swerve to avoid the objects in the road. The next thing you know, they hear a voice that is asking if they need help. And now this happened four times and several other people, two of them happen to be connected to,

they noticed that it was the same exact man that seemed to have been parked next to the highway waiting for them to crash. We don't know what they did. Everybody refused. They all said he was weird looking. He was kind of a normal white guy or whatever, right? Long legs. So it was long legs. It was long legs. So that was one thing. That became a mystery. That was like, all right, it stopped.

Then, right before Christmas, a person, we don't know, we're pretty certain it's the person who did this, we don't know, right? So one of the victims was by the name of Garrison Beach. All of a sudden, first alert six, the local news in Bennington, they receive this call as they are talking about this story. Hello, this is Garrison Beach, and I would like the news article to...

about the accidents on highway 36 to be removed this new story does not need to be up there and needs to be removed immediately

So that voice is not Garrison Beach. It almost sounded like, I know it was a person, but it almost sounded like it was like AI. I think he just might be a fucking weirdo, Eddie. And so Garrison Beach had to go and talk to First Alert 6 and say, that's not me. And because they got, they said it wasn't the one call they received first.

Several calls from that voice, that voicemail. Always saying it was Garrison Beach. Saying it's Garrison Beach. I want you to take this article down. They contacted Garrison Beach. Garrison Beach, he says, no, I did not contact you. They went and they played him the voicemail of the person impersonating him. And Garrison Beach says like,

I don't know. Honestly, I don't know what to say. There's not. But sounds just like the guy. So this guy is trying to get the stories taken off the news about this. So it's either. Did they trace the call? No, they can't do that. They don't do that. It was on a voicemail. It was on a voicemail. And so it's finding interesting. It's one of the first times. But you know what number called you.

I don't know. I actually don't know. If I get a voicemail that says it came from this phone number. Honestly, I bet you that's the type of information that they probably have to, if they are talking to police, that that's what they would give to them. Because we don't know. I haven't heard anything. I just heard voicemail, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, but it's...

I find interesting is that on this news report, they're talking a little bit more in sort of like, oh, well, maybe this guy just really wanted to help people. Like he really wanted to help people, which I think is a tactic from the news to get this guy to show himself. Because I don't think that he's trying to help people if he's trying to get the news online.

story off the internet. I think that the man is doing something fucking weird. God knows what it is. We'll find out. Who knows? He could be maybe I'm wrong and he'll turn out to be the most benevolent man ever who only wants to be he just wanted to work for roadside assistance and he never got a chance to because he wouldn't get his mechanics degree. Yeah. Yeah, who knows? So that's that story. That's it. That's all we got. We'll see. We'll find some updates on it. So now, current news.

Eddie, we have got some stories today. So we have Christmas. We have a Christmas section. A lot happened. Which is also...

four family annihilators. Four? Four. Over the Christmas break. There were four of them. One of them too, the last one was I believe the name of Jacob Mayhew. Do you think like this always happens and then just sometimes it gets swept under the rug? I think that Christmas, the holiday season is an extremely stressful time and I think that we see a lot of uptick in suicides and in stuff like this. Family annihilations are

is one of those things that seem to, again, we talked about it right before the show, they come in waves. Yeah. It's almost like guys see it in the news and then subconsciously don't understand that they're agreeing with the fathers that are killing their families and they get inspired to kill their families. Yes. Which is, I say, honestly, take them to Disney.

Well, that's very expensive. Or drive them someplace and leave them. Yeah, Knott's Berry Farm. Always leave! Family annihilators don't go to Disney, please. I liked it there. Before we do Christmas crimes, there was a more, obviously, more important crime that happened. We kind of want to talk about it. The similarities and the differences between what happened in New Orleans on New Year's Eve and what happened in Vegas on New Year's Eve. Now, we know that two separate

I would say close to domestic terrorist events happened that were extremely similar. One was in New Orleans where a car drove through. It was an electric truck. Drove through. Much more extreme than the other ones. Yes. Really, really fucked up. He drove through a crowd on Bourbon Street. He killed 14 people. 35 people have been hurt so far. 15 people, but, you know, I mean, what do we do?

It's not good. Yeah, either way, it's not good. About 15 people are dead. Samsuddin Jabbar was the name of the man who did it. We know that he was inspired by ISIS. He's a former military vet. Yeah. Again, rented an EV truck, did it all with an EV truck, and then he got into a shootout with the police, and he died in the shootout. He was waving an ISIS flag. He was. The main thing is, and we had talked about this right before the show, like...

How do you get one? Yeah, where do you get an ISIS flag? Rob, could you look that up? Can you Google? Because we were Googling before. We were trying to find out. I figured that on the content. We're asking into a microphone just out of pure curiosity. How to buy an ISIS flag. Last podcast on the left is just curious, not going to purchase. Curious how to buy.

Just want to know if it exists. Etsy. Etsy. Interesting. Wow, you went to Etsy. Yes, for Isis flags. Wow, you can buy an Isis? I don't know. I don't think. No, there's, it's, yeah, no, what do you do? Do you just take a black cloth and throw a bunch of white out at it and hope that it works? Do you think they all get made or they not get made in Taiwan or something? Yeah.

Right? They're not doing this on... I feel like there's a... When are we inviting ISIS to the Olympics? Yeah, it's so... I mean, they want to be in it. Yeah. This is what happens when you search and Google to try to shop for it. It just goes full black. Wow, it just won't even let us look at it. We're just trying to look at it. Well, it doesn't even show you the image of an ISIS flag. Well, it's because you're on Google Shopping. Yeah, well... Oh, Google Shopping. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, my God. The first thing that comes up is FBI.gov. Oh, Jesus. Amazon. All right. Yeah. Type it in. Type it in Amazon. Can't we get one? Bezos. If anyone's sending me one, it's, oh, fuck ISIS. Oh, he's got a fuck ISIS and you have an LGBTQ. You can buy it. Yeah. No, you can't buy that. You can buy an Iraqi flag. No. Wow. You have to make it, I guess. Man, did I ever tell you about, so when I did USO on Christmas, it was like,

And it was Christmas Eve and we're on the base in Baghdad doing the show. And then there's these two Iraqi like super soldiers there watching the show. And they were like big and tough and crazy. They look totally different because they're Iraqi super soldiers and they're just standing like with their arms crossed underneath the fucking hoop and shit. And I'm sitting there by the chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff.

And then after the show, these two guys from the Iraqi military go up to the chairman of Joint Chief of Staff and he reaches it in his pants pocket and he pulls out a crumbled up

flag and he hands it to the general and it's an, and it's an ice, he opens it up and it's an ISIS flag that he captured yesterday and like that he killed people for. And the general said, thank you. And then general Dunford batted motherfucker. And then he, and then he crumbled it up. The general crumbled it up and put it in his pocket and,

And it was like the craziest exchange. There was no one, no press, no one took pictures. It was just something I just kind of saw. And I was like, holy fucking shit. So do you have to pay your dues to ISIS and then you get a flag and like a certificate and a polo and a lanyard? I'm sure they love sending them.

I'm sure they got... How geek it is! I got a bunch of biggest baby shirts at the house. I don't know what to do with it. I could imagine ISIS put in a big order because you got to order 144. We have to get rid of it. These things are just sitting everywhere. We got to get these boxes out of here. We got a bunch of old birds we can't get rid of. Yeah, we got to get these boxes out of here. How else am I... Where am I going to put my...

Pimple is contacting the Americans. See if we can... Hi, my name is Tim Isis. And one thing I got to say is these flags are choking me. All right? Just take them. Just use them. All right? Honestly, just use them as a tampon cloth. It doesn't matter, man. No, they are... So that was a bad one, right? So we still don't know where to get an Isis flag? No. Sidestorieslpotlgmail.com. We're going to have to do it the old-fashioned way.

That's what I think. Don't send us. That's fine. I understood how you... Did you see him available? Fucking ISIS, man. The sequel to Al-Qaeda. Those fucking pussies. They're still around.

Still around. What do you think? Is the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, and ISIS, are they connected? Eddie, please, for the love of Christ, let's not do this. This is not the show. This is not our show. None of us have any idea. I don't know. Rob doesn't know. I've stayed out of it. Yeah, I mostly am just hopes and prayers. Thoughts? Thoughts and prayers? Vibes? To who?

To the Middle East. To the Middle East, all of it? My goal is to the Middle East. May they each find their way towards peace. It's always been good over there, and I don't know why just recently it's getting stirred up. Also, LastPodcastOnLeft.com, we will be doing our first live show in Jerusalem. It will be on Easter Sunday, and just please come and join us over there. It is going to be a barn burner.

So that was like, that's obviously truly fucked up. And the other one is this Cybertruck guy. Now we know this fucking charmer, a man by the name of Matthew Livelsberger. He's very similar to the other guy, minus the ISIS. Not only...

It was extremely similar. They're both military. They're both vets. One thing, though, is that with the NOLA bomber, with the NOLA driver, the truck attack, he was in the U.S. Army, and we know that he was radicalized from the way in. He was middle... Something like that. But when it comes to Matthew Livelsberger...

Same shit, but a wholly different scenario. He also rented an electric truck. He rented the Cybertruck, right? He then also army that. But he was Green Beret. Yes. Main difference between Matthew Livelsberger and this other guy was the fact that he had a massive brain injury. It changed his entire personality that everybody says. They all said that he was a different guy after he had it. And he got divorced. Both of them. This is what I'm saying. Divorced.

men's energy, we are all going to have to protect ourselves from in 2025. Yeah, because there's going to be a lot of divorces this year, I got a feeling. I have a feeling. I am working. I love my wife. I'm doing everything. I think we're in the clear. We're fine. And so I... But we are doing our best. We're going to do our best as men. But these guys, this is the problem...

with giving a man his freedom in this way. Yeah. Is that it really sets him out there. So Matthew Livelsberger, he got divorced, and one of the weirder things was... Do you think he was just upset because he won the Brian Thompson lookalike contest? God, that is a bad contest to fucking win, dude.

Did you know that actually if you win that, the prize you get is a target on a shirt? Now, can we keep it, Rob? Can we keep it, Rob? Yeah. Did you know that you were going to be a moral barometer for the rest of your life? Yes. Yes, he did. Now he knows.

So one of the things I found that was curious about Matthew Livelsberger is that not only... So he was divorced. You know, he's let loose. He decides to rent this Cybertruck from Turo, which is, again, great. I love that all the... Turo, he also... I never heard of this fucking company before. Same thing with the NOLA truck attack guy. He also rented his truck from Turo, and everyone's like... I was like, this is the worst ad campaign I've ever heard for a car rental. VRBO for fucking... Terrorists. And so...

Matthew Livelsberger, he rented the Cybertruck. Now you have all of these reporters. So he drove it, I believe he drove it from Colorado to Las Vegas. Had to charge it fucking twice. Yes. Exactly. Come on! Exactly. Main fucking problems with the Cybertruck.

He drives to Vegas in order to, we now know, he detonated his Cybertruck after he put a gun in his mouth and blew his brains out. He blew up the Cybertruck in front of Trump Tower. Now you have every shithead Monday morning quarterback reporter starts ripping through this story going to being like, you could see the symbolism. Because it looks, I mean, it's clear as day. Trump Tower.

It's fucking Cybertruck. Screaming symbolism. See, this is a problem. Soldier fucking... But then when you look into Matthew Levesberger, huge trumper, huge fan of Elon Musk, and what you find out is that these people, let's just say, Eddie, they might be kind of ignorant about...

everything in a way that they did not know that he went to go do this because he thought Trump was cool and that Elon Musk was cool and that everyone would like this. I think... Yeah, he got the Cybertruck because he really wanted to drive it. Well, this is actually true, is that he drove out there and he was texting his ex

His ex, like, fuck buddy. Somebody he dated before he met his wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It might have even been, like, someone that he was cheating on his wife with or something. We don't know. She says that he came back out, right? Yeah. But what he was doing, so Matthew Livelsberger, he was texting his ex-girlfriend as he was driving. All he was texting was how cool the Cybertruck was.

And the cyber truck's awesome. Video of him showing her how fast the cyber truck could go. Yeah. And the whole time she's sending texts back like, wow. If you ever get texts like that, that person's probably about to kill themselves. Anybody who says, I feel like Batman.

is in a bit of a mania because that's what he texted her. He texted her, I feel like Batman. But you know what the main difference between him and Batman is? Several billion dollars. And you're not Batman. You're a stupid fuck that has just rented a Cybertruck like an idiot. And his parents are still alive. I'm more like Batman than he is. Let's just rob. One, two, three. More like Fatman. Oh, come on! Come on, come on. Now...

Matthew Silver's that this is the this is the problem is that anytime you think a especially in these day and ages, I think that people think that something's like really like way more complicated than it is. We want these guys to have more depth than they do. So he came out. He Matthew's Livelsberger. He wrote he had suicide notes that he was criticizing the government and all whatever. Just kind of, to be honest, hack.

Yeah. Then you have, he, you know, he was made a whole big deal about, but he was mostly concerned. The reason why, like everyone was like, oh man, this means something. He went to Trump Tower. It's like, no, he just wanted it to be on the news. Yeah. I believe he just wanted to be on the news. He knew he did it in front of Trump Tower in Vegas. He would absolutely get on the news and he got the Cybertruck because he wanted to test the Cybertruck and you could tell from all of the content he made from within it.

as he was driving. Also, his ex-girlfriend was all like... Also, you're on your way to commit suicide and you're still like, I need to put this content out. Well, he wasn't putting it online. He was just sending it to his ex-girlfriend. And so when he was driving across the country, he just was... Well, they say this a lot with people that have decided to commit suicide. Their attitudes will perk up. Yeah, they reach euphoria in a weird way. Because they've now made a decision about what to do. So it seemed that he decided to do a...

I'm going to let my hair hang down. I'm going to drive a Cybertruck to Vegas and then not party in Vegas. First of all, you didn't party at first. You should have done at least the Al-Qaeda pilots went out and fucking went to a strip club, helped the economy a little bit. You know what I mean? You mean to tell me you're not going to go out there and do something? You didn't do anything? Nothing. I don't think so. It's mostly just, just know this, ladies. It's just like, same thing. We talked about with the micropenis. Same thing with the Cybertruck. All you got to say is,

oh, cool. That's it. That's all they want to hear. All the guy with the cyber truck just wants to hear. It's like if you go up to me like,

Wow. This is a really cool car. You've saved one family from being annihilated. You saved one public space from being detonated with a handmade fertilizer bomb. If you just... We got... This is 2025. This is reaching across the aisle. I'm going the other way, man. I'm sorry. I'm never getting in one. If someone pulls up to pick me up in a Cybertruck, I'm just going to be like, you know what? I'm fine. You know, I will say some of Matthew Liffelsberger...

Did make the truck look pretty fun. I mean, of course it's fun. It was so fun. I'm so anti-cybertruck. I'm anti-cybertruck. When I was watching the text, he said his ex-cuff and I was like, oh, wow. I love it when you write to Cybertruck. One thing that she did, she was just like, he was like,

Because she was also asking a bunch of disinterested questions because obviously he sounded manic. So she was asking him a bunch of disinterested, sounded like disinterested questions. One was like, how fast does it go? And he's like, unworldly. Yeah.

Yeah, it was very, very sad. But then he went to go blow himself up in front of the Trump Tower, and then he just got exactly what he wanted, is that we just talked about him. So is this, again, this, like, reached out to your divorced buddies this year? Well, yeah. This is a reach out? This is the goal? Well, he also, his statement was about, like, the military, right? You know, he was a bunch of gobbledygooks.

Gobbling kook? I mean, like, it's fucking, it's an epidemic. Well, it's... Soldiers fucking, what is it? Like, it's over, like, it's like 20 a day? You are correct in terms of the, utterly, in terms of the suicide rate for soldiers are huge. Anybody in the military, it's very, very big. They're out there in VA parking lots killing themselves trying to make a fucking point just so people talk about it. At least, you know, maybe this guy, like, took it to the next level. Well, I think the problem is that when you look at it, it was a mishmash of...

He had a brain injury. He was not the same. Matthew Livelsberger obviously dealt with quite a bit in the military. And as a Green Beret, he probably saw quite a bit of action. He then came back out. I think that he was he had a brain. His brains were scrambled. Yeah, his brains scrambled. He didn't know what he was doing. And then he wrote a whole long conspiracy theory about the New Jersey drones were like Chinese military technology. He know better than anybody.

No, not necessarily. Technically, those Green Beret guys. Maybe I'm wrong on this. Side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. Yeah, the Navy would know more. It seems that people that are specifically trained to kill are not given lots of information. And I might be wrong. Other than where the people to kill are? Yes, I might be wrong. And I would actually like to know that for certain. But it kind of seems that they divide things up in that way, where if your job is to go kill a lot...

They don't want you thinking too much. Yeah, you're infantry, not intelligence. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. But so this is the, it's just wild to see that the stories were, immediately they said that the stories were linked. That the NOLA truck attack and the Trump explosion. Well, they seem linked. They did seem, of course they seem, but I think that we're wrong. They went to the same, what was it? Fort Bragg. Fort Bragg. Yes. Which they probably fucking knew each other. And Fort Bragg, I believe, also had that shooter. I believe Fort Bragg had the...

Yeah. Yep. I was also like William Kruzker Jr. Also had a shooting in 1995. No, there's a lot going on there. Something is what we're going to. I don't know if what we're going to see is this, but I find it fascinating that they are parallel, but they're completely different. Yeah. And I think we're going to see more.

of stuff like that. I just think that the internet's driving people crazy. Oh, absolutely. It's driving people crazy. And fucking everyone's just, you know, these people are fucked up and no one's willing to help them.

It's because it's, I guess, a political non-starter. Yeah. And then you seem like a pussy whenever you want to go for therapy. You know, and shit drives me crazy. I make my therapist call me a pussy. That's great. But that's just so I can get hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I can't be vulnerable unless I'm hard. So first I must be shamed, and then I can be fixed.

Oh, well, there was one fun Christmas story I think I would like to bring up on this show. I actually thought that this whole conversation was fun. Oh, no, it's a delight. You know, actually, it's surprisingly fun for the content involved, to be honest with you. Shout out, Lil Dobbs.

Lil Hobbs is dead. Lil Hobbs is dead. And I had to unfollow Lil Hobbs. Lil Hobbs, he put a bunch of fireworks. Yeah, I unfollowed Lil Hobbs. You unfollowed Lil Hobbs? He's dead. I still follow Wally Gator, even though Wally Gator's dead. And he's still posting, too. They're still posting old videos of Wally Gator. No, it's like, let go. You have to let it go. No, I remember Wally forever.

Lil' Hobbs lives on. Lil' Dobbs, Lil' Hobbs. Lil' Hobbs. Lil' Hobbs lives on. Oh, yeah, they still never found Wally, did they? No, Wally's dead. There's no way Wally, Wally's too friendly to make it in a Georgia swap. Hey, everybody. You just got done with the holidays. I know it. You're looking at your bank account and you're like, oh, my God. What happened? Why is there nothing there? Why is there nothing in my bank account?

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All right, Christmas season is over, but that doesn't mean we don't have Christmas crimes. And there's been, there was a bunch of fun Christmas crimes, but not really that fun. Well, the family, there's four family annihilators. We didn't even really talk about it. We just, it happened. You know what it is about the family annihilators is that they all end the same. Yeah, they really do.

Were any of them done by ladies this time? God, I wish. Never, right? It's got to happen once or twice. Every once in a while. If you look up here, the Lawson family murders, that was a big one. That was last year. You might have to put 2024. Oh, that was that other one. And then Jason Mayhew was another one that happened recently. That was a teenager. But I think that that guy was

Yeah, the five family, that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you know. There's a lot of them. They love it. So anyway, friendlier topic. Thomas Campbell bowling Von Goetz. I like Goetz. Goetz.

I love this. This guy is coming from the New York Post. Insured he was placed on the naughty list and in a jail cell this holiday season after he disrupt two separate Catholic masses within a few hours. Dude did fucking a double banger, man. The man ruined one mass. He killed.

didn't get enough. He showed up to Holy Angels Catholic Church around 5 p.m. Hey, Jesus. Hey, God, it's your birthday. He just walked in yelling and then he dropped an onion in the aisle as he walked up to the altar. Hey, look, I'm going to make some soup. I'm going to make some soup. He literally had an onion and treated it like a grenade. Ha, ha, ha.

Like he's fucking Farmer's Market Rambo. It's not the only onion I got. I'll go to the back of the store. And then finally someone's like, all right, get him out of here. And they followed him outside. And then when they followed him outside, he started pelting the man with tangerines before fleeing the scene. Here's some citrus, you bitch. Yeah, you want to try to fuck with me? You're trying to fuck with me?

the Dole family. Yeah, I got it. I got the whole produce section in my pockets. And then seven hours later. Seven hours. So he goes, what do you think happened? So he then goes to midnight mass. Seven hours later, he goes to a midnight mass. Francis Xavier Catholic Church in Leonardtown. Did you guys miss my catering

from last Christmas service I was at. He dumped a bunch of whiskey in the holy water. Here goes a cocktail, seasonal cocktail. And then he threatened parishioners while he was walking up and down the aisles. You better me? Did you fucking better me, nut truck? And then the parishioners tackled him at the midnight mass. Oh, now I'm very good, you know. And then he tried to hit several of them with the bottle of liquor.

And then they held him on the ground until the sheriff deputies came. And then they took him to St. Mary's Hospital for medical evaluation. Yeah, I'm going to need to look-see. And then his mugshot. I love this, Eddie. The mugshot of this next to the full glass of whiskey that they've decided to put next to him is so funny. He is like straight out.

out of the cast of Philadelphia. Dude, he really does look sick. Tom is so happy. He's just like, I did it. I did it. I'm the one who caused the trouble. Look at his face. He's like, ain't I a stinker? I'm the king. He just looks naughty. He looks like a naughty little girl. It's that little smile. He probably lost a bet to his other drunk gay friend. And they're like...

Why don't you go ruin Christmas over that? Yeah. And then he went and he did it and he's like, how'd it go? And he's like, this is what happened. Crushed it. All right, I got notes. Crushed it. Yeah. But what do you think? All right, so he's intoxicated. Yeah. Starting early. It's Christmas Eve.

You say he's with friends. I say this man hasn't spoken to another person at least a week. Christmas Eve, he wakes up, he decides it's time for everybody. I'm Santa tonight, right? He wants to go to Santa. So like you think that he'd get enough after first because he has to get the onion and the tangerines.

Does he bring them from home? Or does he go to the store and purchase? I just imagine this is what he eats every meal. Yes. My onions and tangerines. Thank God I saw that one ad on Instagram. I'd never be this fit if it wasn't for my onion and tangerine diet. I will go down. Let me tell Jesus about it.

But do you think he gets it? I'll put the man in Manhattan. Normally, I wouldn't waste an orange in several tangerines like this, but it's a holiday. Also, you're dumping it in the holy water. No one drinks the holy water. They dip their hands in it. I think he was sullying the holy water. But I wonder, what does that man do for the seven hours in between? I mean, got hammered. More? I'm sure he got more drunk. Yes. Do you think he goes to her Denny's?

No, no, no. He eats onion stain treats. We've already discussed this. Time for me to go make my mouth hell. Yeah, gotta go. I actually applaud him because if I was drunk enough to ruin a Christmas Eve early mass, I definitely would be conked out. I remember my mom used to always try to get me to go to Christmas mass and I'd be like, I'll go if you let me boo.

And so, like, I'm sure this guy has the same fucking idea. I mean, like, who... You're alone on Christmas. Oh, yeah. You hate everything in the world. Oh, you wanted to go... You wanted to do this. You know, the world hates you and shit. Oh, yeah. He was going out there to do it. Mr. Von Gates, who is truly the fanciest name of a man that I know that is drunk on Christmas Eve, Thomas Campbell Bowling Von Gates. We...

Honestly. Salute you. Next year. Yeah, he was charged with second degree assault for throwing tangerines at a man. Oh, he was also trying to hit people with a bottle. Yeah. Disorderly conduct, defacing religious property, religious crime against a group, obstructing a religious exercise, threat of mass violence, and disturbing the peace. I didn't know obstructing a religious exercise was a crime. I mean, who fucked it up? It sounds like one of those bullshit ones. America, man.

Yeah. Sounds like one of the bullshit. That's fucking whatever. They should be designed to be interrupted. Where's his freedom? Yeah, dude. He can't walk into. Well, yeah, whatever. He's pouring a little whiskey.

whiskey and a goddamn holy water? Actually, I do want to ask this. You don't have to pay admittance to go to a church. You don't have to show a license to go to a church. There's no subscription. What law is he breaking walking into the church? Yeah, littering maybe. If God was real, wouldn't he have stopped him? Yeah. If anything, he was giving to the church. He gave food.

drink. Jesus turned water into wine. That guy turned water into whiskey by pouring whiskey into water. Yeah, man. That's easy to do. You guys are, I just don't, because yeah, I'm actually incensed about this. There's a crime to, you're interrupting a mass as a crime? You threaten people though. That's different. I mean, obviously, it's Christmas. That's different. Yeah, you're at church. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it God does? Yeah. Oh, God does. The whole thing

thing is a threat. The whole thing is you can't masturbate. You can't gamble. You can't jerk off. You can't curse at your mother. Why do they have all these stupid fucking bird baths sitting in the front of the churches? Fill it with whiskey. Dude, fucking they probably get, honestly, they probably get more out of the whiskey than the holy water. Yeah. This guy should be a saint. Saint Von Getz. I think that Saint Von Getz is probably, we'll find out. I think it's probably goats.

Von Goetz. I think, I believe it's the same. Goetz. Goetz. Something German. And then I quickly. Thomas Campbell bowling Von Goetz. We love you. Well, I like your actions, but I don't know what you've done yet. I'm sure he's unbearable. I don't. The man is probably a very difficult human. I don't want him to hurt anyone, but I do think that he can ruin as many masses as he likes. Yeah. Now, just real quick. Are you willing to bail him out?

Let's see. Is he willing to be my own mass interrupter? Can I send him out?

Do you become my man? Do you become my chaos agent that I can send out at religion? All I know is that this is the energy we're looking for in 2020. Now, this is not a long story. I just want to talk about this because this also happened on Christmas Day. Two Oregon men, they died from exposure in a forest after they went out to look for Sasquatch on Christmas Eve. They went, they got hammered.

They couldn't find them. It's literally, it sounds like a parody Christmas song. And they went out and they found them frozen in the snow. Yeah. Because they were stupid. That is the song that we have to write for next Christmas. Yes, yes. Got frozen looking for Sasquatch. Got frozen looking for Sasquatch on Christmas. Looking for Bigfoot on Christmas. And also, Bigfoot's at home celebrating with his family. Yeah. Leave Bigfoot alone on Christmas. If just one day...

Also, you can tell neither of these guys are married. Oh, no, no, no. There's no woman to be like, you're not going outside on Christmas Eve. You don't know what I'm doing. This is the one night he thinks he's free. You know, honestly, I was going to hit up my buddy because normally every Tuesday night we have onions and tangerines together, but he said he was busy, so...

Yeah, these poor bastards. It's just dumb. It's just dumb ass shit. Look for Bigfoot in the summer. And unfortunately. Also, he's probably hibernating. Well, it's also Bigfoot celebrates Christmas Sasquatch. Actually, Jewish. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh. The Yentl Yeti. A lot of them converted. Yeah. After World War II. A lot of them converted. So as we start to close out this show.

We were debating whether we should talk about this or not, but I figured it's at least worth bringing up.

Who do we think is going to die this year? Death Watch. 2025. 2025. Now, I know this is tasteless, but it's curious. Well, just real quick. It was mostly just because I was curious, and then you talked to me about the deathlist.net, and I looked it up, and Dick Van Dyke is number one with a bullet. Number one, yes. But I only think that that's just because he's been on the news recently and had to be carried out of his own. He's been on the list for 10 years more than anyone else on the death list.

And so he is number one. But my thing is that a lot of these guys make sense. John Williams makes sense. Mel Brooks makes sense. Alan Greenspan makes sense. Mel Brooks looks great. I saw Mel Brooks last year. He is not dying this year. No, Gene Hackman looks good. But I like to see- I don't know. That's a hell of a statement. I don't think Gene Hackman looks- I don't think he ever looked good. He's riding his bike at 95. Is he really? My father can't walk from the fucking bedroom to the living room.

Mel Brooks is 99. Yeah, and Frankie Valli, who I've also become obsessed with because I've been watching his new performances. And he basically performs like an animatronic. It's actually really kind of creepy. He can talk still, but he's quite frightening watching him perform. He looks like he's been pulled out of a dark ride.

But I want to say these are a lot of like, these are all, to be frank, and also big one, number 50 on the list, Stuart Hall, sex offender. Oh, yeah. What is that? 96 years young. Who is he? I don't know. I never even heard of him. I don't know why it's on this list. Stuart Hall. Yeah, why is that the sex offender? Who did he offend? Cultural theorist. Oh, okay.

Okay. And he's just known as a sex offender on this thing. God knows. I feel like we've just sent it. I just feel like we just stepped into a big thing. That was the wrong one. This is the multiple Stuart Halls. That's the guy. Yeah. Oh, I can see him. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like a sex offender. Yeah. He's got that British face. Too friendly. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, he looks like a guy who fucking sucks children's feet. I want to see the inside of you. Yeah, I see that guy. He's on a game show called It's a Knockout. Okay. Of course, and that's what, and I can tell, look at him. God, what a romantic face. David Attenborough, number 27. But these are all very, I just want to hear, what is your one outlier for the year, and let's see what happens. What's your one outlier, total surprise, who's going to die this year? Let's put some money on it.

Total outlier. Total outlier. Just a random person. Someone that you think that could die this year. That could die this year. That you just be totally random. Totally random. And then we'll see. And then we'll obviously see at the end. Mike Tyson. Okay. Yeah. I can see it happening. I can see Mike Tyson. Yeah, sure. I can see Mike Tyson going. Yeah. You know, he almost went this year.

He did. Yeah, because he got really sick. He got really sick. And, you know, he's been going too hard. And I can see him just now just settling down and winding down his life. I can see that. Yeah. And he's lived hard, too. I'm putting money on Eddie Redmayne. Eddie Redmayne! I'm still going to put money on it. Yeah? Just for the sake of it. Now, is this money a hit? No, Eddie. No.

Absolutely not. I think Tyson can go this year, yeah. Eddie Redmayne. He looks very healthy. Eddie Redmayne's going to live to at least 2035. He could be sick. He could be very sick. Look at his face. Look at his pinched face. He does, yeah. How does a face get that thin? He could be very, very sick. I hate his little waist. He's a good nurse. What?

Wasn't that the movie he was in? No, you're thinking of the other... He was the... Was that the one with the abortions? The murder nurse. Vera Drake. Oh, Vera Drake. Drop your knickers. Oh, yeah. You remember when we played the drinking game? Yeah, the Vera Drake drinking game. Every time she says drop your knickers, you have to drink. Yeah.

We did that in college. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we found out one of the people we were playing with recently had an abortion. She loved it. She had a great time. She was free to drink. Yeah, she drank plenty. Now, let's get to some listener emails. Yeah, he wasn't a good nurse. That movie sucked. Except she's got my baby in it. Who?

Jessica Chastain. My wife looks like Jessica. My wife looks like Jessica Chastain. I always say my wife looks like Jessica Chastain. We can't both have that. Well, she is short. I will say that. Jessica Chastain? Yeah, she's short. She is? Yeah. Isn't she one of those two that says she's older than she is? Or she's younger than she is? She's actually older, but she looks good. She's older than us. Wow. Isn't that great? That turns you on more, doesn't it? Of course. 47 years young. Looking great. All right, here we go. And we got a couple of these listener emails. Yes.

I think that I'm just going to read one and I'm going to read this. The first one on the last one. Okay. This first one is spooky. It's been confirmed now by three separate people, including myself, that my friend's house is haunted. And early August, about 1 a.m., I fell asleep on the recliner in the living room.

I woke up to an incredibly strong feeling of a woman watching me in the hallway that led to the rest of the house. I kept my eyes closed and waited for the feelings to pass, but it didn't. So I opened my eyes to look around to make sure no one was watching me. I went and slept in another room. I talked it up to having very strong dream and being uncomfortable since my dad had just died a couple of days before. I told my friend the next morning, I don't think about it until whatever. Right. We didn't think about it till the next day.

On December 11th, 2024, around 8.30 p.m., he had another guest over who was sitting alone in the same recliner waiting on my friend and his wife to finish their online D&D game on the other side of the house. He said that he felt a feeling of a woman watching him as well, and he looked up to see a figure watching him from the corner. He closed his eyes and looked away and looked back, and it was gone. It spooked him, and he left.

My friend's roommate overheard my friend and the guest discussing the situation when my friend's roommate was like, holy shit, I have a story too. The roommate who was having stomach problems decided to leave his room and sleep on the recliner one night. He awoke to the same feeling of a woman watching him in the room. He couldn't specify the direction. However, his incident occurred around 3 a.m. They're all saying they all kind of felt...

this female presence watching. Okay. And then they all confirmed it. Same female presence, same recliner. It did no bad or good feelings. It just felt neutral, like they were being watched. Me and the other fellow had the same exact details, except we couldn't pinpoint where in the room the woman was watching us from.

So my buddy and I did some research on the house. The original owner died on December 10th, 2021 inside the house. Also 2024 was a leap year, which means that we added a day onto the year, which means it should be December 10th, 2024. And that was when the other guest saw her figure. It was the anniversary. Oh, nice. Nice.

You know, I thought I saw a ghost in a recliner. Yeah? Yeah, I know. I know this story. You should save this, though. It's a long story. Yeah, no, no, no. But I think a recliner is somewhere where ghosts like to hang out. Why wouldn't they want to be comfortable? That's where I like to put my butt, ghosts. And by those, I mean my farts. That's very spooky. Remember John Moreno had the haunted house that he lived in?

from Murderfest where he kept seeing like burning people. That's right. I forgot all about it. Yeah, he lived in this tiny house in Tallahassee. He'd wake up and see people burning in his bedroom. Yeah, or like it'd get really hot in the house. Yeah, that's right. I forgot about that. And you open the back door and it just led to nowhere. And then they found out that it was like a slave quarters. We should talk with him. We should bring him on to talk about it. I forgot about that story. That shit's crazy. And then I was back visiting Tallahassee and then I was driving past the house and it had burned down again.

Weird. That's fucking weird. Yeah. I want to talk with John about that. That'd be great to do for something with the creepypasta. Some creepypasta episode because that story is very frightening. Yeah. All right, here we go. One last one. I'll take this one with a grain of salt, but this is some of my favorite shit in Fates to Planet. All right. Back in 2012, I was stationed in Colorado Springs for a year, and while I was in the process of getting settled, I decided to check out the local scene.

Colorado Springs is a unique part of this country. Very strange place. Yeah, a lot of military. A lot of military. I was still waiting on my furniture to arrive and I had nothing to do at home, so I went to explore downtown. I managed to hit it off with some Air Force guys and spent the better part of the evening bar hopping with them. It got late and decided it was time to go home, so I called a cab. I'm 39 years old and Uber was not a thing at the time. It's 2012.

One of the Air Force guys wanted to come with me. He was out on his last hurrah before PCSing, permanent change of station, to another duty station, so I figured he wanted to just hook up. I told him, there's no way I can host. I'm literally sleeping on an air mattress. He persisted. Eventually, I relented, and we came back to mine, and he honestly didn't make a move, but he told me the craziest story. He'd been enlisted in the Air Force for a while. He was an E6. He was working at NORAD.

and somehow stumbled into a quote-unquote meeting that he shouldn't have belonged in. Sometimes if you're in uniform and keep a straight face, no one asks questions. At this meeting, he said that there was an alien.

I legit didn't believe him, and I laughed when he told me. Again, thinking he had an ulterior motives, but he persisted, and he was very serious. The meeting was held at a conference table, and in one of the chairs sat an alien. It was a small, brown, and had scales, according to my guest. It was anthropomorphic, and had two giant black eyes and only nostrils, not a nose. It did not speak, but it did have a slit where a mouth should be. Instead of speaking, it communicated telepathically, and everyone present was able to understand it. I

I didn't ask enough questions at the time, but I got the impression that my guest was telling the truth. But it's strange because he almost seems sad to tell me this story. Not excited, scared, or curious. Almost depressed. I don't know what message the alien relayed, but the meeting was amongst a bunch of U.S. military officials, according to him. But he doesn't, according to the, unfortunately, I don't have any more details. He spent the night in my slowly deflating air mattress, never tried anything with me, had a banana in the morning, and then called his friend to pick him up. I've never heard from him again.

I want to believe them. I hope there are more legitimate sightings, but there's something ominous about an unknown secret of race of beings or their possible relationship with our government that has the undertones of both awe and fright. Maybe we'll come to know more in question if there's a god. I'm an atheist studying zoology and a fossil record. If aliens from another world exist and if somehow resembles us, how do I justify that?

But sometimes you just got to let go and say, fuck it. I never heard of brown scaly aliens. All different types. There are ones with big noses. There are ones that are, you know, you got the tall whites. I know the grays and the tall whites. But there's many style of aliens. There's many, many style of aliens. A lot of the grays they say are robotic, but who fucking knows? I guess E.T.'s brown. E.T.'s brown. E.T.'s brown as hell. He's fake.

Yeah, but he's cool. You're right. He's very cool. I wish he was real. Now, that's so fucked up, though. He didn't say what the alien said. That's the most important part of the story. I guess he wasn't ready to have sex with that man enough. Or the guy wasn't paying attention. God, yeah. He was just wondering, why can someone please? Please? Yeah, small brown scale. What does it say here on Pinterest? Yeah, I don't see a small brown alien. I got to look at my, I have an alien bucket on. I'm going to look at it.

So just, guys, remember, wow. First one in, Eddie. Yeah. First one of 2025 in. 2020, feeling good. Feeling, well, you're fine. I'm feeling mediocre, to be honest with you. I'm about 80%. But hey, can only go uphill from here. That's right. So live every day knowing for a fact if you're at the bottom of the hill, you just got to fucking roll towards more of the bottom. Honestly. Yeah. Because sometimes you'd really like...

You'd love the bottom. You never actually know how much fun you can have at the bottom. Yeah. The very, very rock bottom. Actually, once you get to the bottom, dig. Just be there for a while. Just like- Yeah. Go low. But then laugh as you ascend because you know that yes- Wheeze. Wheeze. Is that you know that you have technically made it worse for yourself, but in the end when you dig yourself out of a hole, people like you better. That is so true. Thursday-

That's right. This Thursday, Hoopagoohoo, the HGX2, coming to the LPN Twitch channel at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern. We got Jared Logan judging this week. Love him. It's going to be amazing. I'm very excited for the show. I love Hoopagoohoo, our first one of 2025, the year that it all takes place. Yes, and I can't wait. Are we not moving ahead a year? No.

No, we are. It's 2026 in Hoopagoo-goo land now. Good, good, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry. So thank you guys. Go to our Patreon.com slash LastPodcast. You'll have to watch us efflopper jowls. Go to Twitch.tv slash LPNTV to watch Hoopagoo-goo HGX2. And go to LastPodcast on the left.com to buy tickets to see us live. We are going to be amazing. I promise you. That's right. We're in Atlanta.

Dallas, Nashville, Detroit, Toronto, and more to come. Yeah, baby. We got some side story shows that are going to be announced soon. Oh, yeah. I'm excited. We got a bunch of stuff coming down the pipe. Y'all fucking love it. I'm sorry about...

Christmas that I got sick twice. We are going to make it up next year. Yeah, we are going to, or, you know, we'll find another, we'll replace that date. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we'll replace that date sooner than Christmas. Oh, definitely. We're definitely going to replace the Masonic lunch date. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry about that. We had to cancel that. That was a big...

the lpn fun house gave us gave us coven yes and that's what happened yep but hey we're healed and all for the better for it yeah we can't necessarily tie it to that day but i'm not gonna not it had to have been that i mean i don't know because i'm you know lar humongous is coven

No, he's not. He's clean. He's the cleanest man. Honestly, what I love about Lard is that he's so soft-spoken and nice. Yeah. And he's got a lovely wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I don't want to bust his character, but he's like... He's so kind. He's such a kind, sweet, gentle man. You have to be to be that. Yes. Yeah. All right, guys. Love you. Bye. Bye.