Side Stories: Fraud Stories
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There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Hot Tats. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Oh.

Side stories. Yes. Oh, shit! Now, I don't know how I'm going to talk professionally today, but I have to. So I'm going to be here, present, speaking. One pound fish. Come on, baby. Come on, baby.

What's that from? There's this meme of this Pakistani guy that he sings. He's like a fishmonger. Come on, ladies. Come on, ladies. One pound fish. Very, very good. One pound fish. Very, very nice. One pound fish. Very, very good. One pound fish. I feel like this is what I want to do. This is what I wish I could... This is what I'm trying to do with my tiny maniacs. But then they took him and they put him on one of these America's Got Talent shows, but in Asia or Europe. Okay. And he's in a suit and...

And then he just sings his fishmonger song. That's his fishmonger song. Why did they think he was going to be any different? And the judges are like, I don't think you have what it takes. He's like, I am a fishmonger. You brought me here. You brought me here. I didn't ask to sing professionally. I sell fish professionally and sing as a pleasure. I will say.

The fish business is going to be very good for it. It's true. But also, we've got to be careful to not monetize every single thing that brings us joy. There we go. That's the reason why I'm not starting an OnlyFans. Because I already blew my gripper. Yeah, what is on your wrist? Well, I told you I got... Oh, this is your... I got DeQuiver's thumb and trigger finger. Buddy, do you think I've done anything to properly do it? It's not like you stopped going on your phone. No, no. I am doing well. But then the trip to Australia, re-heard it.

I'm an old man. This is my gripper. This was my jerk-off hand. This was my... You were a left jerk-off hander? This was my road wife. This is how seriously I took masturbating. I'd be so nice if I had lost my right hand, I could still jerk off. I can't believe you're a left-hand jerker. I just do it to confuse myself. What is that even... I don't even...

It's kind of nice. It's like another person. Is there a little bit of a weird angle? Do you have more spin when you do it? No, there's no. There's no slider on there. With the left hand. Buddy, it's 35 seconds. It's 35 seconds of my day.

You're on your brain? 35 seconds? You imagine a thing. No, no, I can't do that anymore. God, that would be really impressive. I just look up like, honestly, it's stuff like Tiananmen Square. I look up that picture, jerk off at it, done. Done. I go look up Mount Rushmore. There we go. Just immediately hard as hell. I want to come all over Lincoln's face. Because, man, first gay president. Yep. If only. We're going to have one. It'll happen. He was it.

Joe? Abraham Lincoln. Oh. First gay president. For me, it's the Copyright Act, and I can just nut all over that. Welcome to Side Stories. Is this happening right now? Yeah, we started the show. We began the show. I'm a father. You can't have me saying these things. It's too bad. It's too late for you. I am Henry Zebrowski, your intrepid host, and I'm sitting here with the incredible, vivacious-

One of my oldest, best friends in the world. Ed Larson is currently still in Australia celebrating Julie, his beautiful wife's 40th birthday. He's enjoying himself. But I'm here with the wonderful Sina Ghaznavi. Whoa! Thank you so much. And you hear from fraudsters. Fraudsters season five is now out. So this is again...

The way we do promos here. This is my press tour? It's so good. Yes, this is your press tour. This is your inter-LPN press tour. You wanted to get booked on shows. Yeah. Congrats. Congrats. You're here with me. You sent me a text like, we're coming back from Australia. We got a recorded episode. We just had to do it because the problem was that we were recording on the road, but it's awesome. Australian promoters, great tour. It was so much fun. When Eddie comes back,

We will obviously go into deeper detail because Eddie and I had a bunch of fun. But it is, what's nice is that they pay for the hotels, right? So when you go to the promotion company, it pays for the hotels. But then what they'll do is they put you in a rock star hotel, which is like, it always means they have a really nice lobby. But the room itself is like a prison space.

cell with a record player in it. It'll have a record player, a mandolin, but no sink. And like a mirror for a table. And that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And nothing else. So we had nowhere to sit. Like, Eddie and I were trying to... We were like, okay, we can get one more side stories in. And we were like laying in bed with each other like we were on a sleepover. And I was like, this is fine, but I don't want...

I can't do side stories while our toes touch. I would say so. I need room. Yeah. Our toes are touching now, but I feel like it's different. It's sexual. It's sexual. But you're making sure that I know that you're here and then you're a part of me. I feel good, though. What I am happy, though, is I'm glad that you also came because not only you, I mean, we trust each other. We know each other. There's also a specifically week for stories. Yeah.

Which is great timing. Whose fault is that? God and the devil and the fucking absolutely fateless universe we are just rolling through. We were just in Australia. The big thing there obviously was the break dancer woman. Oh yeah. The fraud. Who was an absolute total embarrassment to their country and it was awesome to be there during that moment because I did an act out

of her break dancing. Oh, incredible. That gave me an extra five minutes each time on stage. And that is the ultimate gift. Yeah. Like she gave me material. A free five. That's nice. I'm so happy that she existed just for that. You get a standing ovation when you did that? Every time. So baby. It crushed each time. And guess what? It also gave me the...

the faith to know that I too can still be an Olympian. Yeah. Because all I got to do is get out there and wait till they got a fucking good. Oh man. That's what this, you don't think I blew my gripper out for no reason, man. I was training for the 2028. What's great about the LA Olympics. They're having a whole sexual crimes section.

Yeah. Where it's all about can you jerk off on camera? Can you stay hard with the casting director? That's a huge one. Yeah, yeah. Where you just get hard and then the goal is can you keep your erection walking through various obstacle courses? Where you have to go get your pictures taken and then you have to go and do a Shakespeare monologue. Can you stay hard? Don't forget the eye contact. You gotta have eye contact. Up here, you can't be thinking...

better be bouncing though because the very end of the obstacle course that's how they really decide is that they flick it and then they see how far the bounce back comes and hits you in the belly button this is great yay fraudster season five I have two small children at home one just started Montessori hey man at least you brought them at least they're at home they're at Montessori schools don't they talk to an elf and they learn math with letters and stuff and then they don't like am I wrong

Math with letters. Yeah, don't they do, like, don't they ask the children what they want to learn and they say stuff like pancakes and they're like, all right, I guess she's a doctor in pancakes now. You talk a big game about not having children right now, but I can't wait till you're 50 and you adopt 12 children. I mean, I just can't wait till I'm 50 and I adopt my, it's like, this is Tricia. She's 21 years old, just came from here from UC State. God, she's just, she wants to be a weather woman.

And I'm teaching her all about different shaped clouds. Yeah, I can't wait. I can't wait to adopt my... Ah, here we go. This is Letitia. She's 23 years from the Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Team. And she needs a place to stay because her last husband died because he was 95 years old.

We've got to get to some stories. I was going to do some updates up top. The problem is that I don't know what to update with you here. Because we did get a lot of one very sad update, which was about the woman that died in the... Did you hear about this? What's... It's a woman in Chicago O'Hare Airport. She died in a luggage carousel, and they had labeled it a suicide. And it just turns out it was all... It's just very... It's actually... It's real sad.

Wait a minute. In the carousel she died? Well, so it was about 2.30 in the morning. An agitated woman somehow got access into a restricted area behind the carousel, the luggage carousel. And they said originally, the way the article was sort of put, was that she had gummed up the works and had committed suicide by airport. But then now we're seeing that it's actually a little bit more cut and dry than that. It's actually much sadder and less fun.

And what's the sadder and less fun? It's just a suicide happened in the back room of the Chicago airport. And I don't know how that got it to the idea. Because we thought it was like a fun old lady's day out. She kind of was like Mr. Magood her way into the luggage thing. And then it was like... Somehow there's a press that smashed her. And then she was getting like...

Like rolling down various ramps. That was the fun we were all thinking she was... She naked gun OJ'd all of them through the conveyor belt. That is what we thought. No, but it's extremely sad. It's like watching Robin's Wish. Have you watched that yet? No. What is that? Jesus Christ, guys. I do the scam podcast. I know. Robin's Wish.

It's the Robin Williams documentary. Oh, this. No, I can't watch this. Dude, if you want to... I can't watch this. I made it through half of this on the plane, and I...

You know, I don't want to betray my listeners. No, I can't. I don't want them to know that I have emotions because they know that I am, again, I'm above it. I'm alpha. I don't need your- I'm sorry. They think you're what? Everybody does. The audience knows I'm an alpha. I'm a fucking top dog, top G. They think that. I can't fucking- Yes. That's what all the letters I get from guys in prison. Is that how the number

go up? Always, yes. And they all know, I don't cry. I can't lose that moisture. I save that moisture for my fucking cum. Yeah.

But no, I watched Robin's Wish and it details the final days of Robin Williams. And he lived in a labyrinth of terror and demons in his last couple of days with his Lewy body dementia. And it sounds like it was an absolute nightmare that's also coming from five different voices. So imagine the man that is the funniest man in the world going completely insane in Spanish, Hindu accent, French.

His fucking London accent. He's doing all his characters. All of his characters. Dr. Ruth. Every one of his characters is talking about how he's going to commit suicide and kill everybody in the family. So it's like, I imagine at some point it was kind of entertaining. Yeah. Still Robin Williams. He's still doing, technically these are all bits. These are material. This is all bits. So on some level, yes, it's obviously very disconcerting, but what I was saying, like how

Probably no one will know when I have dementia. Well, some guys at the punchline still got paid off for the bits that he was doing when he was crazy. He had to break them up. His business manager, every single time he did copy a bit in a foreign accent, but sort of telling everyone how he was going to kill the family, he does have to pay $50 to Carlos Mencia.

And then he had to pay $50 too. Yeah, it was like Pablo Francisco. You remember him? Of course. Movie trailer guy? Yes. The best. The best. He got a lot of shit taken from him. He wasn't a good enough comedian. The form of Parkinson's that he has. My dad has Parkinson's. I remember I texted you and Eddie this photo that said that everyone thought before all this stuff came out that Robin Williams was just normal sad depression. Yeah, that he was just a sad clown. And it's like he was a sad clown.

But it was also not, what he had was much worse than sad cloud disease. It is. Yes, it was much, much worse. It was an absolute utter nightmare. It's a very rare form of some form of Parkinson's, and we just got to not get that. That's my main key. And you know what I'm thinking? You know how I think we're not going to get that? Me? No judgments. No judgments.

No... You can't hold any grudges. Okay. I'm ready for it. Drinking a lot of water. Uh-huh. Smoking weed. Yep. And... I don't know. And... It's not improv, obviously. Yeah. Because that's my problem. You'd think that improv would save your brain. No. But I think it's making my brain worse. It is. Okay, here's a question. When you talk to yourself...

Do you say, like, when you want to get yourself going, do you say, I got this, you got this, or we got this? Holy shit, I don't know. I think I say we got this. I say we got this, too. Yeah, I say we got this. Because I believe that there is a mind in the observer. Because I have voices. Yeah. I talk in voices. I'm in Jungian therapy. I write scenes. For your therapist? I do scenes in therapy. Yes, I do different voices in therapy. Aren't you in WGA? Don't you need to be...

Reporting this back. A lot of it depends on if it's under an hour. If it's under an hour, then got it. That's why I cut out 57 minutes because then they can't charge me. But no, it's a yeah, I say we because I do believe in my old mindfulness practice that you could see there's difference between the mind and the observer.

There's often times when I also say like, what are you doing? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. If somebody's doing bad, if someone in my collective brain is doing bad, it's what are you doing? Yeah. Not what are we doing? Oh, no, no. It's only we when things are going well or we need to do things. When it's bad, it's like, oh, no, what are you doing? But I feel like actually confident people that are secure with themselves say I.

Yeah, but then they wouldn't be in this show, me in show business. No, like my wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're an integrated personality. It's like a real integrated real person. Yeah, a real person present at all times. Yeah, yeah. No, then they wouldn't be in this. They wouldn't be doing this. Right? Yeah, I'm a professional improver. You know what that means? You tell me. Don't know. Ugh. I'm making it up as I fucking go every day. Sorry, Rob. Sorry, that seems fucking frightening to you, but that's life. Oh my God. Where do we go from here?

Now, yeah, Hank over to Soupgate. All right, let me just finish these little updates. Hashtag Soupgate is still going on in Southern Knoxville. I'm not going to go deep into it because I'm going to wait for Eddie. He got some new reports in. We are really dialing it down. But then I talked to our real-life superhero friend, Devil, who is from New York. He's her old buddy. He dresses in full body armor. He's an actual superhero, and he has made busts, and he works with various— He's like a vigilante. Well, yes.

wait, he's a soup or hero. No, he's actually saying he is pulling out from saying that he doesn't want to send, he doesn't want to waste resources necessarily. And he did actually give the comment of some of the Facebook groups that are diet, that are obsessed with the soup gate should maybe look into other more important crimes. But,

But I've been trying to tell him it's probably best for them to stay in this suit-based crime if they don't know what they're doing. Suit-based crime until there is a death, which we're waiting on. It's a victimless crime. Yes. But it's like, well, no, it's not a victimless crime because there's the road and then there's the grass. You've got to think about them. And the cars get covered in shit, right? Cars get covered in gunk. But...

Someone will die. And then when that finally happens, God willing, we're going to get our Pulitzer. We're going to be at the beginning of this. We're going to stop this guy. Yeah, they're going to get scooped by Ronan Farrow. He's going to be like, I've been covering this for four years. What the fuck? Where did he come from? Dressed as a potted plant? My father used to bring a garbage bag of goop into the room. No.

No, daddy. No. Not me, a Pharaoh's husband. Here's 50,000 words in the New Yorker for you. But I'm going to leave this. I'm going to leave you with this. Oh, that looks so gross. This is what I'm saying, Cena. This is real. This is real. Suitgate is real. But I did get one update. We're going to get Eddie's feedback on as well.

Wow, if you can't handle it. I've got some stuff I've got to show you today that if you can't handle just smeared soup, you're not going to enjoy it. I just imagine the smell. I just imagine this is so terrible. It's gross. It's white. When you open up the bags, this gunk inside of it is white with bits of celery and onions and stuff like that. And it looks like human waste. You clean two humans' butts most of the day. You can't be. You're not used to this?

That, I don't know. Pickens gap has never been the same. I'm a synthetic puker because like last week, Kelly was like upstairs looking at something and I heard her from another, all the way at the other end of the office and she was going, she was like hanging down to something that she was looking at and I was in the room so far away. I said, stop whatever you're doing. Well, that's,

hey, it's a part of working at LPN. This is what we got to deal with. You have to have a strong constitution to be in this network. Where's the code of conduct for this place? This is the code of conduct. The key is to say this is for work first. You say, I'm sending you this. The things I have to say

to poor Kelly in the night from my Instagram where I'm like, this is a boss message. This is an email. This is work. This is not coming from Henry. This is coming from the quote unquote executive producer and I'm sending it. Yeah, it's a lot of it's horrible. Is the same message where Rob has to wear a gift mask during this recording? That's different. That's because again, that's him feeling comfortable. That's why I'm not on camera. Yeah, yes.

Because he can't handle. Zip up that mask, Rob. Zip it up. But this is one last thing I'm going to leave on this story because this might open this wide up. I've lived in South Knox for two years now after I bought my house with my wife. It's been pretty great so far. We have a resident drug dealer who will stash the occasional meth rock in our mailbox, but nothing has us more terrified than the pick and scap vomit bombs that pop up.

We're convinced the bags showing up have been the work of a fairly well-known homeless man in the area who likes to dress as a jester. We see him skipping up and down the sides of busy roads in Knoxville in full black and white jester regalia. It's a harlequin, my friend.

He's been sort of a legend here. And while he's mostly harmless, he does like to pull off an occasional prank. And I fear he's gotten more daring with his pranks by leaving bags of rotten food around. I actually feel like this might be some Joker 2 folie de... like promo. Oh! Have you seen this stuff? Like an ARG or something. Do you remember when we did our ARG? Of course. Go and check out Bear Stearns Bravo. We did four years on an ARG that no one saw. Ha ha ha!

And it was actually quite a bit of work that was involved in it. But yes, you see here, is there nothing about this guy? This is the Knoxville jester, man.

I'm starting to feel that this Knoxville Jester man might in fact be... Case closed. That's our Sue Parloquin right there. Case closed. What are we even doing here anymore? That's Sue Parloquin. Look at this other one right here. Skipping Jester update. These guys are out there. Wait, it's a different guy? Spoke with the Jester. I don't know. I don't want to... No, I think it's the same person. If this Jester wants to talk to us, sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com, we will find a way for you to communicate. We maybe even can send our own Drew Smith.

Our man on the street to go speak to you, the Joker of Southern Knoxville. Drew Smith got press credentials from LPN. Oh, yes. Not only has he got press credentials, but if I could, I would give him a gun. I would deputize him. Because you love the Second Amendment. I just love the idea of me knowing somebody with many guns. Yeah. See, look at this. One gun is many. See the gesture of Knoxville. So this is real.

It's encrypted. The Jester of Knoxville is real. It is out there. This is not just a made-up email. They are, this person's out there, and they, I don't know. For someone without a home, that's a lot of production value going into your costume. Seems like they got a lot of time.

Now, I wonder, have you seen this in Alien Romulus? They were doing this like in New York, which I don't think New York necessarily needs. They were doing the embedded like advertising of people laying on the subway grounds with fake face suckers on and shit. And it's just been like, I don't think we need this right now. We know it's not real. Yeah.

It's Alien Romulus. I don't think that we need laying dead bodies places to help us be like, oh, oh yes, I should see Alien Romulus. I mean, I think one of them's going to get trampled to death during rush hour. If I would, I'm certain that they wouldn't get covered in piss and shit. I remember we were in Sydney, like as we were walking through, and there's this like in the public square area.

Where there are active people, there are beanbag chairs set up for people to watch the Olympics just like randomly. And I was just thinking about how soaked with human waste those beanbag chairs would have been if they were in Los Angeles or New York. And the fact that this can be here and that there are humans sitting in these. Because I wanted to be like, stop! Stop!

Don't sit in these! These aren't diapers! You know what people will do? They're gonna do this! And you pull down your pants, and you show them, this is what will happen! At least I'll be in America! Well, at least I know I'm free! You know, like, at power be! Sounds like just fucking just shooting, but unfortunately, I was traveling, so... Hmm. Yeah, you were...

You had to get to the lounge. I'm sorry, is this a diamond area? All right, let's go through some more horrible stories. But yeah, the jester of South Knoxville is real.

And if we can get a hold of him, please, sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. All right, so far, I haven't seen anything very scary, very disgusting yet. We aren't there yet. We aren't there yet. Most of this isn't on... You guys talk a big game, Alpha Top Dog. I mean, I'm an Alpha Top Dog, but that means I'm confident sitting right here, right, man? Because why don't we talk like... You know what we should talk about, which I've heard the audience loves? Comedy green rooms, COVID. Let's talk about it. Let's get into why RFK Jr. is your president.

Do you like RFKG? You want to get into it? He's inside. What's coming out of my chest? That's my lunch. It's my lunch. Let me tell you.

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This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Oh, that's the sound a ghost makes when it's sitting down. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Oh, spooky. It's a spooky season. Don't you want to make a website to tell everyone that you're not a werewolf?

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Check out squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, squarespace.com slash left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right, let's get into this first story. Now, this is, again, it's a bit of a week. Week? But hey, it's summer. It's summer. It's August. If this was, if people were, like, if this was like any other show, we'd talk, I mean, again, I'm not talking about the...

If I even think about the DNC, I just want to go to sleep, but I'm fine with it. Everything's going fine. Everything's going fine. There's no professional wrestler speaking, which is huge miss. I'm already angry. I was already angry. Why was it like we needed Lizzo? Now let's go to this next story. Now Ghost Hunters star Jason Howes faces vile accusations by owner of haunted conjuring home. Now I know some of the people on Ghost Adventures, so that's a bribe.

but some of them are old friends. Now, we know that Ghost Hunters is what you'd call the sort of... Would you say that Ghost Hunters is the weaker version of Ghost Adventures? The poor man's Ghost Adventures? I think they're before. They're before, but I believe Ghost Hunters, like Zach Bagans, took Ghost Bro to full brand, capital G, capital B. But Ghost Hunters, I remember being the first ones going the...

the come at me ghost like that style of walking around into the like trying to make the ghost fight them provocation provocation like trying to get people to kick shit up right when they go into a paranormal space would you call that disrespectful to the ghost well i just think it's incorrect but it's it's more that zach megan's a little bit more empathetic in his style but he is very he is still ghost bro-esque

Got it. In its way. But this guy, Jason Howes. So I guess the issue has been is that they got into they talked a little bit with this woman that purchased a conjuring home. Now, this was in this in Rhode Island's West Greenwich. This is this area. It was purchased by a woman named Jacqueline Nunez for one point five million dollars in 2012.

So it's kind of pretty, it was like, it's way over what it's supposed to be. But this is the house that apparently was haunted by Bathsheba, the witch and all the stuff that's in the movie. The conjuring was all horseshit, but there was ghost stories still attached to this house. This woman bought this house and she is claiming that,

that Jason Hawes of the Ghost Hunters show is in on a massive assassination plot against her because she saw a man that looked like him on...

on her dash cam. But you have to be a public figure to be assassinated. If you're just a nameless homeowner... You mean to tell me anybody can't be assassinated? No, you can't just be assassinated. That's just called murder. Is that true? I don't know. I think so. Maybe people don't believe in themselves enough. Yeah. I think that's what it is, is that like...

Be like, you better, you're going to have, you kill me, it's an assassination, bitch. Like, that comes, kind of feel very girl bossy. Like, let's be honest. If they kill you, assassination. Me, no.

Everyone's happy. No. No. People will be so upset. But definitely not an assassination. Murder of an important person is a surprise attack for political or religious reasons. But what if the religious reasons are just because I hate the fact that you're on Rhode Island?

That seems political and religious. I think that if you're having a brat girl summer and you get murdered, you should call them an assassin. That's what I think. I can get behind that. I think that if you are Blake Lively and you get murdered during your PR tour for this. This is satire. No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. This is all hypothetical. Hypothetical. She could say she was assassinated because of her closest to Ryan Reynolds. Got it. And how important Deadpool and Wolverine was, even though I haven't seen it yet.

But she's in some other movie that's about getting like... Domestic violence and stuff. Yeah, but all I've heard and seen is like pink dresses and she's just like... She really didn't do the work is what I'm reading for that role. Like Nicole Kidman...

She put the nose on. I couldn't even watch Big Little Lies or Little Big Lies. Big Trouble Lies. Big Trouble Times. What's it called? Trouble and Little Lies? Big Trouble and Little... Don't you say Little China Eyes. Don't you dare say it. I never said that. You said it. Don't you dare say it. You said that. Don't you dare say it. That wasn't fucking me. I want to check the video. I'm a father. Back to Jason Hawes. Now, Jason Hawes is... He's got grandpa face.

And he is, she, this woman is obviously completely insane. Now, Jason Oz has been putting out like these messages saying that she's saying, she's just saying wild stuff to him. And so this house, obviously it has ghosts, it has negative vibes. This woman was really excited about purchasing this house because she said that it was so important to be near where the ghosts were, essentially. She said, this is a very personal purchase for me. When it hit the market, I thought,

This is a property that enables people to speak to the dead. And how do I say, like, no, it's called methamphetamine. But no, she says that she was excited about this house because of its connection to the dead. And she was like, it meant a lot to her. But now what we're finding out is a lot of other stuff. So she is a Boston real estate developer. So yeah, purchased the house for $1.52 million and very competitive. It was like 27% above the asking price, which is a mistake. Yeah.

She bought a 22? We shouldn't be buying houses just to flip them. I think it's dumb. I think it's not helping anything. And so this woman says that she posted surveillance video on social media saying there would appear to be a man leaving the property in a truck. And she says, this man, quote, looked like Jason Hawes, although Hawes has been disproved. It's not him. He was not there. That's when he started receiving her threatening messages.

You will someday be prosecuted for your slander and numerous murder attempts on my life. One message to Haas said, I am told you know of the assassination attempt on me. She texted him. According to the police report, I will never be defeated or destroyed by any fucking paranormal person now or at any time in the future. And I need that actually on a shirt. I want that.

I want that really bad. I will never be defeated or destroyed by any fucking paranormal person now or at any time in the future. When you run for mayor of Los Angeles. That is going to be my closing statement. And they're going to be like, yes, nine more years. Nine more years. But she's like, and Nunez told WPRI, she's not going to comment.

Even though she has multiple times on social media. But she's not going to comment until she files a federal complaint to investigate evidence of hate crimes and abusive attacks against me and the Conjuring House. So she's doing, she's saying the house itself is being slandered. This is, here's the troubling part. Oh, there she is. She looks difficult. That she definitely has. Those are pajamas. That is very much a, that is a Karen Unbound. Yeah.

It's hard when you got, when Karen's got that kind of money. Yes. This is what I was just about to say. The money. She's a real estate developer. She overpaid dramatically in 22. And she probably did it in all cash because interest rates were spiking in 22. This is my thing, right? Can you just, so as the man from Fraudsters, when someone says that they are a real estate tycoon or developer, does that just mean they have money? No.

Not necessarily. They could be very cash poor, but they have properties. They got stuff laid out. So you never really know. And so would you just borrow the money against the stuff that you have? Constantly. And you just stay in this constant flux of like...

Fake money. Exactly. You're just you're worth technically zero dollars. And here's and here's negative about this. Millions of dollars. Think about that stress. I have law school loans. So stressful. I'm glad they're gone. They don't have that. They would not be able to do this job unless you did not physically have that. Exactly. They but but imagine what your brain has to disassociate from when you are dozens of millions of dollars.

in debt or you've got loans out. You've got mortgages upon this. This is getting leveraged on that. Think about it's going to change your brain. The one thing that I feel like because we don't talk about this content together very often is how often stuff like that

leads to murder and family annihilations and stuff like recently, Corey Richens, Mormon woman that was married with a fairly normal dude bro, right? Had two kids. Obviously things are going south. She had been slowly but surely amassing millions and millions of dollars in debt with her kind of fantasy world, real estate development idea that she had to do. She bought this house. She was like,

did not know that her husband did not know that he was destroying, she was destroying his credit by getting loans attached to him. She was stealing money from his corporate accounts, his own money. Then guess what? He starts getting sick and he starts saying, Hey, I think Corey might be trying to kill me. And he's saying that over and over again, but because there are more men, which is no one really kind of talks about, it's very, they, they,

He's locked in. He feels he's locked in. He's warning his friends that he's going to die. He then dies a mysterious illness. She then writes a book that says what it's like to have a husband die. And it's a book for kids to help them through the loss of a father that she monetized after the fact. And then once they did all of the various toxicology reports, realized that he was poisoned.

And now we're in the middle of this very, very long, very dramatic court trial right now where she was doing victim. She believes she's just like Machiavelli behind the whole thing where she's telling, she's doing witness tampering. She's doing, she's,

How did someone's both so smart, so stupid? Well, what she did was that she's trying to tell her mom what to do, how to manipulate the other members in the family to tell the police what to say. But they found these letters in her cell. What she was doing was horrible.

holding the piece of paper up against the wall inside of the, when they would do the calls with her and her mom so that she was saying one thing and reading, the woman was reading this stuff. - 'Cause they're listening. - Yes, and so they couldn't see the actual, like her hold it up, right, for her to read what the material was until they found some of those letters

And then it basically details this whole fake plot saying that her husband was like faking putting drugs in her carry on. All this like various stuff about how her husband was addicted to drugs. And then he died of a fentanyl laced weed edible, which is ridiculous. And then she got the one place where fentanyl generally is not. And then because she also got because guess who she asked for the housekeeper. She asked to see if they could get her fentanyl.

And then eventually she said, I need that Michael Jackson stuff. And so they found this letter in her cell that explains all those witness tampering. And she said she was writing a book that was a fantasy book about a woman being arrested and witness tampering.

But this all came from real estate development. This all came from, like, it was another one of those. You get tempted by those low interest rates, and then you end up killing your husband. But it's this idea of living in a fantasy world, which is both, like, what difference, at what point...

Does it make you an aspiring entrepreneur and then past that you become a psychopath? Exactly. This is where the worlds kind of intersect for us. And there's a thing called the fraud triangle.

Right? Where you get the pressure of something. So these loans that you start making out, you have the opportunity to actually do the thing. So you're the only person. Because it does, right? Yes. Because there are opportunities in that realm. This is why you need, if you're ever in a business, this is business advice now, don't be one person. Don't trust one person with all the money. Never. Okay? I don't trust me and I don't even trust me. Exactly. Exactly. Then I'm the most unreliable of all.

So then it's the rationalization. And this is where it gets crazy. The rationalization starts with just doing more loans. I'm going to get myself out of it. And a lot of times you just do mail fraud and then they're out of there. But where it gets into your stuff is when they don't get caught and they continue to rationalize and they spin and then they kill the husband. Well, in serial killers, we talk a lot about making tiny allowances. Yeah. That what they do is kind of create scenarios where more and more being like, well, I...

I couldn't help myself because they have been edging into it slowly but surely. And there's something about that lack of experience. Because the one thing they say about psychopathy that is very interesting is that it's not like...

Most of our true crime people know, but it's not like a slobbering maniac. You know what I mean? Most psychopathy is marred by a flattened experience. So that's kind of like it's marked by a flattened experience. So part of the issue is lack of emotion is what is making you seek

Some form of stimulus in a place where you can't seem to receive it, no matter how much you want it or how much you get it. Everything bores you. And so you're just looking for more and more action. You're looking for more and more. And then you'll take any reaction you can get.

Yeah. And there's another thing here that we've noticed, at least when we're doing the War on Drugs for Season 5 on Fraudsters, is that dehumanization is not something that just popped up when the internet came about and that we've disassociated from the idea of being a human or anything like that. Dudes have been doing it since day one, man. Dudes rock. Woo! As if men do. So it's just,

This is what's crazy is that the idea of being able to so easily and quickly dehumanize another person is something that's been baked in to the human experience for as long as we can remember. We can other someone or a group of people or the idea of like a serial killer, a small subset of people that you're going to murder and kill. Oh, yes.

You could do that very easily. This is how our drug laws were made in the early part of the 1900s. This is how so much works. That was like the kind of one of these big aha moments that's happened is that because I always thought like, man, the Internet separated us all. Social media has made us all tribal. And we start thinking about our humanity. It's like, no, man, it's always been we've always been monsters to each other. It's also what I realize is that we've been.

and walking around with these same brands for like 200,000 years. No software update. So it is in that way, like we are way more

The version of us that was in the fucking jungle. Yep. Versus this with laptops. This is all brand new. The brains that we are used to, the brains that we are using are still very much so animal brains. And in some ways, those things helped us back in the day, right? Because it kind of helped you deal with the trauma and like all the shit of just living life, right? Of how hard it would be to be just a naked human in the forest. Yeah.

And we're still dealing with the same fears, but then we just kind of express it on top of each other. My toddler is three years old and he has all of the emotions we have. The only difference is the ability to regulate those emotions. And you can teach that and you help them with that over time. And that's why you got him albuterol and Zoloft and he drinks, right? This is why he takes a small edible. Because he switched to indica, right? He's an indica kid. I warned him about...

The perils of sativa. It's going to keep you up playing a road-like card game until 2 o'clock in the morning when you shouldn't be. You wonder if it's anxiety or if you need to switch to a lower THC level. Exactly. I don't have anxiety. I just am doing the sour diesel too much.

Well, I'm glad, honestly, I'm glad you're here to talk about this. Because it's really, it's, there's so many of these. Loss of status is one of the worst things that can happen, quote unquote, worst things that can happen to a quote unquote man that will allow them to then have the, then they decide, well, my family can't live with the embarrassment of my failure, so they're all going to have to die. Which is, guess what? We get over it.

Daddy, eventually we get over it. You don't have to kill all of us. As a matter of fact, sometimes you go to jail, then I get to write a one-man show about

That gets me to the top of the fringe in Edinburgh. And I'll thank you, daddy. All right? But the other thing that also happens is like the case of Barry Minkow we've covered on the show, I think a couple seasons ago. His father was such a loser and such a failure. That's what motivated him to become a fraudster. Jim Jones. Is that same thing? Very similar. Yeah. Very similar. That's the whole thing. His dad was this wastrel of a fucking...

piece of shit alcoholic. And Jim Jones became obsessed as a little boy with all forms of churches. So he became, he would go to every single church service and he started to understand, which is why I also wanted to be a priest. I realized too over time is because he had guaranteed, guaranteed,

An hour a time every week that everybody had to listen to me. Everybody had to listen to me. They have to love it, too. Oh, yeah. They got to be afraid of me. There's no booing. There's no heckling. Oh, no. Just an amen. You go to hell. Yeah. Yeah. You can't masturbate, bro. No. No. I can because I'm the priest. Yeah. And I talk right to God. Yeah. And I come in a little chalice and I feed it to myself. No one can scream at me and call me racist when I'm doing a sermon. That's the key. Yeah.

One day. Happened to me. All right. So now this is the next one. All right. Let's do this next story. This comes from your neck of the woods, my beautiful wife's neck of the woods. This is a story about a man who was a man of his word.

This is one of those weird ones that really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. This is a number station here in America doing shit that we don't understand. Hey, downtown Pittsburgh. Downtown Pittsburgh. Yeah, they're a number station down there. There's a stellar supply of Detroit rappers. I apologize for your ears, ladies and gentlemen, for the accent you're going to hear for the next several minutes. Now, I live over in Wilkinsburg. Now, this comes from the subreddit of Pittsburgh, the Reddit subreddit.

Now, right next to this is near Turner Intermediate School. Every night starting around 12.02 a.m. to 1.02 a.m., a monotone voice begins calling out a string of numbers. It lasts only a few seconds and repeats every 10 minutes unanswered.

on the second minute, 10.02, 10.12, 10.22, etc., etc., and goes into a little past 2 a.m. They're saying they've heard it for months now. The numbers are not always the same each time. Sometimes they're followed with the word delta, as in 198 delta, 68 delta, 210 delta, 22. Sometimes it's perfectly clear. Sometimes it almost sounds like the source of it's moving. We don't know what this is.

So this person's been updating for about a week and saying that it is continuing again and again with very little change. And we'd love to know if you've heard this and what the hell we can do about it. Sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. From what you know about number stations, does this track as it's related to what was happening? I know from when we did our number stations thing,

episodes, like a million GD years ago. We're pretty certain. These are shortwave radio stations. They're some kind of speech synthesis to vocalize numbers. We know that what it is is some form of communication system. A lot of these, they've been around since World War I. Archduke Anton of Austria in his youth used to listen in on these transmissions. This was all back in the day. And

We don't really know. The group had received encoded messages that had broadcast from the Atencio number station in Cuba. Cuba, we had some spies that we busted using these types of systems. There's one, the E03, the Lincolnshire Poacher, which is thought to have been run by the British Secret Intelligence Service. So there's a lot of different reasons of why this happened. Lost.

See, I never watched Lost. Lost. Trash. Just trash. I never watched. Come at me. At Cena now. Come at me. Lost. Trash. All right. All right. Yeah. Zip up that kit mask. Zip. I just never saw it. I never saw it. Marcus is a huge fan. Oh, I can't. No. It's too much. They were making it up as they went along. Hey, Mammy, guess what?

So are we all. Oh, no! Do you want to hear it? I've become my worst enemy. So we have some footage. They should have put a little audio filter on this to make the numbers come up a little bit more. This is all raw dog audio here. This guy is like, he just started recording from his phone from outside of where he is hearing these numbers. It is very faint. You might want to pull up your volume right as we begin. Oh, no.

You know, I was talking to Stan Pichikaski down in Wilkinsburg, and we were talking over a Primanti sandwich, and I told him about these numbers. And you know what he said? He said he thinks it's somebody reciting all the numbers of every Pittsburgh stellar from the Super Bowl years. Like an only hot, only, only car. The stellars, my friend. You got a car for... There's one more recording. You want to hear it? Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can sort of hear it.

Just a noise pass. Any basic noise pass. This is all on TikTok. You know, he didn't really do, he didn't sweeten it. Yeah. It's weird because you can kind of hear it. You definitely hear it. But it's,

I don't know what the fuck it's for. Well, he went into the abandoned areas where he thought it was coming from. He really tried to chase it down. He even talked to his neighbor and she was like, don't, don't go there. Well, because I think that it's got something to do with the government. I also know that what's interesting is that, do you remember when they had the railroad crash that dumped all the chemistry, dumped all those chemicals like into the river and shit like that?

You know, like, apparently that happens like a lot. Yeah. It happens several times. And they don't really talk about it too much. And then I wonder if this part of the world. What's interesting about Pittsburgh is that it's the robotics capital of the country. Yes. There's a lot of like government money and government stuff.

In Pennsylvania, in these areas between the Pittsburgh area, Ohio, there's stuff in here. Because you think about Quantico's in Virginia, which is not that far away. There's stuff that's happening in there, but God knows what it's for. I don't have these answers. I don't have these answers. More not me. I don't know. I'm so jet lagged, Sina. Ha ha ha.

I'm seeing two of you. I'm so wildly, wildly braindead today. But you look beautiful. You look beautiful. No, I don't. I know I look like shit. But I'd love to know if anybody else has heard these because this is the type of fun, low stakes mystery. Yeah, you could go get a proper microphone out there, folks. Yeah, I'd love to find out. Let me see what else I got here. Because, yeah, that's it. There's really nothing else. Fly from your grave.

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Did you hear about this, Henry? What? Alicia Silverstone ate some poisonous fruit on TikTok and everybody thinks she's going to die. What is fucking up? Oh, no. See, I met her on a film. I did a film with Alicia Silverstone. She's the loveliest, most beautiful, nice woman ever. But she definitely is like, this was at the time period when, do you remember the stuff where she'd chew up her food and her toddler would like pull the food out of her mouth and eat it?

He was, yeah. She was like breastfeeding her kid until he was like 17 or something. Is that right? Yeah. And then she breastfed the whole crew. Oh, God. Lucky us. I would say. Oh, he was great. Honestly. He was like, man. That's fantastic. 2%. Yeah. People are concerned. Like, what is this? Why did she, she just found it on the street and ate it? From her garden.

That's a bad garden. What is that? She showed herself eating it, and then no one has heard from her since. Well, if she's dead, I think we will know. How do you wait? Why are they saying poison? Is that an actual poisonous? Why is she doing that? I don't think you're supposed to eat this. I think it's staged. She's not an anti-vaxxer, right? That's Jenny McCarthy. Sorry, I'm getting these. She is close. She's close to what? She's never said anything.

You know, she's never said anything specifically anti-vaxxers. Looked like little cherry tomatoes. Jerusalem cherry. Oh, not a great name. You know, they look tasty. Yeah.

They do look tasty. This is why everyone needs a gardener, by the way. I just like, we got to stop doing all this willy-nilly. You know, it sounds great. I don't trust nature. DIY looks great in the YouTube when they compress it down to 30 seconds, but then you eat a poisonous cherry tomato. Nature's trying to kill us at all times. Look at what we've done. Part of nature's job is to kill us. It's supposed to test us and train us to fucking make sure we don't fucking slip up. Remember the planet Earth's spore?

Remember that, where the ants go and they take the guy and the spore comes out of the... Yeah, I think about that all the time. That's nature. Isn't that The Last of Us? Yes, that's the whole thing. Yeah, it's like bad fungus goes crazy. Yeah.

That's not going to happen, right? But in nature, there's always a way to control the populations of all the living organisms on the planet. Like how this woman decided to, this one lady decided to control the population of fish by having sex with it. So now this is the woman who's allegedly filmed performing a sex act with a live brown trout.

What's the only fans on that? It's actually, I think it's OnlyFish. Got it. Now, a woman who was allegedly filmed performing a sex act on a live trout. Now, this is the thing. If you're filmed, how is it allegedly? I guess because she had a mask on. Yeah, and it could be a fake fish.

Yeah. So she's charged with one count of possession of a bestiality product. I didn't even know that was a thing. No idea. Two counts of making or reproducing a bestiality product. So the problem is that it's on video? Now, dressed in a black suit, Lee appeared in Hobart Magistrates. Oh, yeah, they came into town. Oh, that's a real... She's lying on a boat at sea. I remember the area. Somewhere near Tasmania South. We had a bunch of Tazis come out to the show in Oz. Thank you guys so much.

As her male co-accused used a live brown trout to perform a sex act on her. So what she did was essentially the trout nibbled on her pussy, which is, that's how you find that cleat. Is that what you got to do is you take a little worm, you wrap around that cleat, and then that trout, he come nibbly nibbly. She liked it. And at least one thing about a trout is that I find it worse with something with a tail that can wag. Yeah.

Like a trout don't know. I mean, I wag my tail when I'm going down. You hear that, Gusmo? Yeah, he's like, this guy's not yet to enter a plea, but I feel like that's the only time it's fine is if it's fish. If it doesn't result in the death of the fish, but this did result in the death of the fish. The fish died. Yes.

Did they eat the fish? Did they eat the whole fish? If they're truly Native American, they would. If they used the whole fish. If they used the whole fish. Isn't this truly using the whole fish? If they fucked the fish and then had sex with it, I would have no issue with it. Eat the fish, love the fish. I think really, which is really sad because the crime here is making, they're saying the crime is that you got proof of it. Really? Yeah. And she was. There's no, if she just had that, think about this. If this was 1998. Mm-hmm.

People's getting their pussies eaten by fish all the time in peace. Yep. And without TikTok, which is why I think we got to come against TikTok. Yep. Pause. Is that fucking, these fucking, these fish pussy getting eaters, right? They used to just kind of, they didn't worry about monetizing it.

They weren't trying to make content. They were just in the moment, vibing, having the salmon eat their butthole. That is fucking American choice. If you are vitamin E deficient, one great way to get your vitamin E up is through fish oil. Fish oil. Through the vajay. Through the vajay. But also, can I also say this? Please. And maybe it's because like, and I don't really, wow, is that the lady? Mm-hmm. Damn. Oh, wow, she looks like a trout. Yeah.

Now, I wonder is as an overseas lawyer, then as a person is really getting into maritime law, my research into the sovereign citizens is if they're out in the middle of the ocean, why is it a crime? Do you want your lawyer? Yeah. I mean, they carved up the oceans.

What do you mean? There is law in the oceans. No, there's no law in the oceans. Well, there's certain areas where different laws don't apply, but there are laws in areas. Like there's if you're certain away distance away from the shore, you're the law still apply. If you go beyond that, then you can then there's maritime law that applies.

So there's always somebody. So you can't just do anything you want in the water? I mean, Uncle Jeff tried. He did. He really did. Yeah. Old Uncle Jeff really thought if I was just far enough away, no one would ever hear these masseuses.

cry themselves to sleep. You mean Uncle Jeff did what? I know. I know. Mr. Epstein? Mr. Epstein? No. Jeffrey? Jeffrey? Jeffrey did that? No. No. Let me call Ghislaine. Jeffrey? Who needs to get jerked off four times a day? No. Egg-shaped penis? My Jeffrey? No. Silly. Unbelievable. Um...

Now, I'm going to end you with this last little story because I just want to get your reaction. Okay. So this is the worst story of the week. And the only reason why I'm talking about this, I don't necessarily find this funny, but it is wild to me. Okay. Now, this is in Guatemala. A teenager. My name is Deborah Rebecca Z. Artola. She was 15 years old. It's very sad. She was on top of a building taking pictures for her birthday. And she fell off the top of this building. Okay.

And her head hit, their neck hit an electric cable as she was falling back. And the cable zapped her so bad, popped the head right off. Oh, my God. And we got the video of it. You got the video? I sent it to Rob. Why do I feel like I'm on Jerry Springer or something? And we've got the video. No, it's just like, you don't really see anything. It's just crazy. You could see that her body is on it.

They posted this video. They say it's like a warning because there's a really bad viewers. The viewers may find it upsetting. This very nice young lady is on the roof. She's commiserating with friends. Things are fine. Everything looks normal. Everything looks normal. And then it cuts to her going back and forth on the thing. But you can't really see anything. See, that's it.

That's the whole video. Oh, then the whole town gathers around. But apparently, I had no idea you could electrocute it so bad that your literal head falls off. Do you know that? Well, I guess, you know, this is all about infotainment and learning is part of it. I just did not. It's like, does that happen a lot?

I mean, I wonder in the electric chair if like the head melts off. They talk about that all the time. Like, have you seen that? Like, when we did our coverage about the history of the electric chair, like, if you are not... It's great. Honestly, I do think it's fascinating. Okay, yeah. But you could like, if you want to, and you don't like the guy that's in that chair. Yeah.

You could do a lot of fucked up things to that guy in the chair. There's stuff like, let's say you just don't, because you know how you're supposed to wet the head of the dude? One of the things you're supposed to do is wet the head. Yes. Let's say you just don't. And then literally his head bursts into flames and shit. Mostly you burst into flames. Here we go. This is what it is. It's zapping, zapping. Oh, yeah. Now you can realize. Wow. Yeah. Now you can see it. Oh, my God. The smoke. You can't see. Whoa. The smoke. That's crazy. Wow. Wow.

That's fucked up. Whoa. That's not good. We'll cover all this. No one will see it. I just didn't know your head could pop off like that. Yikes. I feel bad for her. I feel bad for her family. You got to get that head.

Because that's the thing. You know what I would say, though, at the same time? I do the scam podcast. Fraudsters season five. Financial fraud. I did this because- We look at court records. You wanted it. You wanted it. I did. I didn't think- I just- You said, oh, it's not bad. I'm exhausted. Oh, no bad things happen on this show. But it's like- I asked for it. I just didn't- Like, if you're- Okay. Maybe we'll take this- Let's bring it to us. Okay. Okay.

If your head pops off, this is a mind thing. Okay. So this happens to me. Yeah. And my head pops off. What I love is don't try to restore that shit. I would prefer my body next to the head. Oh, two caskets. Yes. Yeah. A tiny casket. A bucket. Yeah. With a lid. Can we make it into a fishbowl? You're not into that. You know what I want is- Do you want to be cremated? You know what I want? What?

The surprise. I want to open in the box and go, ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho, ho. There he is. Yeah, new LPN employees. Open the box. Open the box. I, yeah, I've always said I want- Put your hand in the box. What happens in the box? What's in the box? Pain? Dead Henry's mouth chopping on you. What is, like, I've often said I want a tomb.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I want a tomb. Well, keep the numbers up. You can have a tomb. I want my body. There will be a whole separate GoFundMe. But I want a tomb because I want like a place where people go visit. Yeah. Like I've had this very idea that you turn that into almost a tourist destination. Did you just monetize your post posthumous life? I'm just saying that I want to freak people out later on. Yeah. Oh, I gotcha. That's my goal.

Is to leave behind something frightening. I think I would like to be cremated and then release me from a plane over a crowded Times Square. Is that really? Okay. All right. I don't know if I can fly. I think it's a no-fly zone. Yeah, probably. But what if I take your ashes to the Thanksgiving parade and just start throwing handfuls of it at people? I could deal. I would love that. That's fine. Let me make an edit. Yeah, that I could do. That I absolutely, I will absolutely make sure that I do that. Yeah.

It's like it's in people's mouth. My body always wanted to ruin people's day at the Thanksgiving parade. I fucking hate that parade. Yeah, fuck that parade, man. Have you seen this? Nicholas Cage? Oh, yeah. I went to go see this. Yeah, yeah. This is great. Nicholas Cage is- This is how you spend money, by the way. Oh, yes. I respect this. He skipped. Nicholas Cage bought this pyramid-shaped-

in one of the most famous cemeteries in the world, the St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 in New Orleans, and he skipped the whole line because he paid up a bunch of money, and they thought what is interesting is that his tomb has been hit by lightning two separate times. Wow. Which is cool. It's God saying. God saying that he loved Face Off. Yeah.

I think it's time for some listener emails. Oh, goody. We're going to read some emails. And I was going to be ready. For your show, when people send in letters, do they cut the letters out of a magazine and send them in? Is that how they do these things? Fuck you. We have good people. I am going to respond to...

To the, um, I'm going to respond to the Zortman Montana letter when Eddie is back, because I got some very interesting information. Basically, a man that was the chef of

Chef, the only restaurant in Zartman, Montana, told the story to one of our listeners about being made love to by a female Sasquatch, and it was the best sex he ever had in his life. And there's a lot of, that man is very interesting, and he has many other tales to tell, apparently. There's a female Sasquatch? Oh, yeah, buddy. Wow. What do you think the little baby Sasquatch has come from? I didn't really think that far. They got big tits. Yeah. Oh, yeah, buddy. They got big tits. And you worry about it.

Well, okay. You don't even think about it, buddy. Now, one thing I will say here. I'm going to say it right here. I guess that means the Sasquatch breastfeeds. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If he's anything like me. I couldn't suckle. So it doesn't really fucking matter, man. All right. Now, this comes from our... We were talking a lot a couple weeks about long haul truckers.

Now, we talked with the former head of the FBI, one of the directors of the FBI, Frank Figliuzzi, as an interview in the Eddie and I did. And he talked about the concept of long haul truckers and murder, how often this is like

These guys tend to do this as one of the last anonymous ways to get around in terms of like that. And it seems to be there are many, many strings of missing people along these trucking routes and hitchhikers, all this type of shit. Guys just alone, super horny in a truck and cab. And they're just lopping people's heads off. Right.

So this is interesting. I was listening to the Long Haul Trucker interview, and you guys are talking about the video equipment in the truck. I previously knew a man who drove rigs locally. He said a couple interesting things to me. For his company, the cameras were only in his cabin, and there was one looking at the road, and that's it. For a while, this man got away with covering the camera by simply putting a figurine in front of it. His company didn't say anything to him until he was in a road rage altercation. No one got hurt, but since the company had reviewed the footage, they discovered the camera was blocked.

This same man was involved in different road rage altercation while carrying a weapon and he knew where to stand. So it wasn't caught on film. Thankfully, there were no serious injuries. And even after a quick police investigation, no charges were pressed related to the second instance. This man's company states he's not allowed to carry weapons and he just ignores that.

They won't say anything because, one, he's a reliable worker, and two, most trucking companies are desperate for workers from what I was told. These companies will often do what they can to protect their workers, too, as long as there's no evidence of wrongdoing. Now, the man in question is a bit unhinged outside of work, maybe during it, and I'm purposely being vague regarding the stories to prevent him thinking I talked about him in any way. This gets aired because both road rage incidences are very specific.

Do I think he's a serial killer? No. Do I think he could kill someone in cold blood if it got pissed off and hide the body where it couldn't be found? Oh, absolutely. That's just one. Here's another one. Long haul trucker. My dad was a long haul trucker his whole adult life, starting back in the early 70s. I used to ride around with him during the summers as a kid and saw almost every state with him. He hauled oversized loads, so you were often diverted off major highways.

One time we were driving on a small highway, maybe in Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, or Tennessee. He pointed to a small road off the highway and told me about a time when he picked up another driver whose truck had broken down and needed a ride to a bigger town so he could call dispatch. This was before cell phones. He picked the guy up in the evening and my dad was almost out of hours, so he was going to need a stop soon for the night. The guy was weird from the start, so my dad played nice with the guy so as not to get on his bad side.

Soon the guy started telling my dad about how he liked to pick up lot lizards and take them out to the middle of nowhere and rape them and leave them to fend for themselves. The guy thought it was funny, so my dad laughed, sure. When my dad was out of hours for the night, he just found a spot off the highway and rather than pushing forward a little further to a rest stop, the guy slept across both seats up front while my dad took the bed and back.

When the guy was snoring, my dad, a six foot four brick of a man, grabbed his Bowie knife, snuck forward, incapacitated the guy and dragged him out of the truck. He pulled him into the field and killed him and then left him there. He then drove his truck to the rest stop to finish his break, then drove on the next morning. The road he pointed out to was where he turned off that night. The field was overgrown and remote, so it's possible the guy's body was never found. What? Someone wrote that in here? Yeah.

You don't know who this guy is. What? Is that a confession? Well, it's his dad's confession. I don't know. He's a long-haul trucker. What did I just hear? Yeah, man. That's long-haul truckers, buddy. That's murder? Yeah. That's a good story. And it's important to remember, that's where you got to figure out Cena, your father. Yeah.

What's your big, terrible secret that you're going to tell your sons? Oh, God. Because you've got to work on it. But I'm a podcaster. Yeah. Oh, no. If you're 18, right, and we're still doing this, and they're going to be like, my dad says come for a living. He's going to be president. And you better be.

That's the pressure we're going to put on him. Yeah, is that cool in a way? I feel different now. Hey, man, that long-haul trucker, technically he's killing the good ones, the bad ones. The bad ones? Yeah. He's doing the right thing? I guess.

I mean, you don't know whether the other guy was telling the truth or not or trying to say some ribald, disgusting thing to try to make some other guy laugh because he thinks it would be funny. Because, like, you do meet that a lot amongst men, that they say terrible things because they think that you're funny. Especially if you're a comedian. You know how many times people lead with saying something fucked up to me, thinking I'm going to think it's the funniest thing on the face of the planet? Don't they realize we're sensitive?

No. Well, I'm not though. Oh, right. Top G. Yeah, I'm top G. I'm fucking Mr. Hardcore. Yeah. Total Teflon. Yeah. Nothing gets in. Nothing gets out.

If you see me, just be like, how are your children? No, actually, don't say that. Don't say that. How are your children? Yeah, don't say that. How are your children, sir? Just say, how are you? So where can they find fraudsters, Sina? Anywhere. Anywhere. Not at a truck stop in the field with a dead man. Unless... Unless... You honestly...

Give it to the other long-haul truckers. You know, respect to the long-haul truckers. When I was hosting at SiriusXM doing the live stuff. They always call. They always call. And a lot of these guys have read every Supreme Court case. They're thinkers. That's all they have time to do. Oh, a lot of thinking. Shout out to Trucker Steve. Almost too much thinking. You know, it's a lot of thinking. He knew exactly how to kill that man. That's why I live every day knowing that...

Yeah, I can always fall back into being a long-haul truck driver. I can, right? And I love zip-zopping around these great highways and byways of America, sitting down, smoking a cigar, chewing on some meth, eating a bunch of burgers, driving around. And I don't gotta kill unless I teach him, right? Because then I'm gonna laugh when I get every single weird old hitchhiker inside of my truck and I'm gonna give them long sermons that they have to listen to when I tell them what's really going on. And I tell them what I

think. Alright? They gotta fucking deal with it, alright? Because you want to fucking... You want to... You want to ride, son? It's ass grass or fucking... Or fucking ass. It's ass or grass. I don't need gas. This is an electric truck. This is great. Ah.

All right. So thank you guys so much. Jesus Christ. Froster's anywhere you listen to podcasts. Patreon.com slash podcast. I'd love to watch us do this at each other. Go to. This is on video. Oh, yeah. Go to socials at LP on the left. The TikTok Instagram is on there for as long as that lives. Twitch.tv slash LPN TV. We have a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff rolling around. You got to go check it out. It's on the YouTube. Go on the YouTube. We got the new fun house. The LPN fun house. Did you watch any of that? I've heard stories.

Everyone got sick. It was very, very funny. I can't wait to do one again. And go to lastpodcastontheleft.com to buy tickets for our live shows. Please come see Eddie and I do side stories in Chicago.

We're a little bit less. Everything else is sold out. Philly's sold out. The other show's sold out. That'll be amazing to see you two in Chicago. And we're just making shit up. I mean, we'll have prepared bits, but also not. So great. Love watching this. That's what we're good at. Yep. Why let preparation get in the way of a good show? You guys are like the John Daly of this place. It's beautiful. Raw talent. That's me. Pure raw talent. Oh, yeah, dude. Raw talent. Just drinking fucking whatever beer's available. And just...

He's a bastard, though, isn't he? John Daly? Yeah. I think he's come around. He is probably the most naturally talented golfer of all time. Yes. And he's come around. I think he does a lot of stuff with his son now. He just looks rough. He looks bad, yeah. I mean, that was a lot of drinking he did. Oh, he likes it. And he still does. He still smokes a lot of cigars. A lot of cigars. I know he's a big Trumper, but what are you going to do? You don't think this guy's not going to be a big Trumper? Yeah. I mean, technically, he's a soft Trumper.

He's not going to storm the Capitol. Oh, yeah. He'd die of emphysema. Yeah. You know, we'll see what happens. All right, fuckers. Hail Satan. Goodbye. That nation still stands. What an honor.

Dial-up your day.

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