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There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Oh, yeah! Yes!
I mean, I want Lois Lane getting her pussy eaten out by the super dog. I want the fucking... I mean, that's a lot. I want Superman fucking having sex with the Green Lantern giving himself four butts. Yeah. That's the only way I'm watching these movies. Yeah. Is that I need multiple... I need the other guys from Wakanda arriving.
and they're fucking having fun. And they're kissing and they're sucking and they're fucking... Everybody's kissing. I think that also it's like if Spider-Man had a hole in the suit and he could shoot webs out of his penis. He does have a hole in the suit. Yeah, he can shoot webs. No, but it comes on magically. The suit comes on magically and he's got a hat. I think if he could shoot webs out of the wrist of his suit, then he could shoot webs out of the cock of his suit. But he doesn't ever because everybody's leaving money on the table. Because it's PG! No, it's because they're weak and they're stupid and it's why superhero movies are never going to
properly cut the mustard. Somebody's upset. I'm not upset. Sounds like you're upset. No, this is me having fun. This is you having fun? I'm scared of your fun. You should be.
Yeah. You should be, because my fun doesn't leave any stone unturned. My fun does not leave any bridge unburnt. Oh, God. I like my superhero movies, but I understand that they have no place in this conversation. Exactly. Because we are talking about movies about aliens today. Welcome to Side Stories. Yes. My name's Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Edward Larson. Oh, no. I'm so big. Really good. Thank you. And I'm also- I've been working on it. Okay.
It got us all sick. We're all dying here. And we're also sitting here with my fetid, strange, little DNA runoff.
Jackie Zebrowski. It's me. It's me. I'm all gloopy and sloopy. Oh, no. Am I the alien? I'm not. I'm a girl. You are. But we still don't understand your parts. No, and you never will. And you have no idea where my tentacles are going to come out from. But don't worry. They always come out at the wrong time. You know what I've heard? Actually, uteruses do come from Venus. Yeah? Oh. They plop down in the water. The first woman crawled out of the Indian Ocean. This is true. Yeah. As just a uterus with fins.
Interesting. And then slowly but surely, those fins turned into tits that turned into a head. The most important parts. Yes. No, tits were first. Well, the uterus was first. I mean, obviously. Ute. You got the ute. And then you got the boot, which is the butt. Yes. And then the head. Ute and the boot. And then the tits. Oh, so tits are fourth and fifth? Yeah.
all together at once. This is not what today's episode is about. It could be. Today's episode is about... I'll talk about Utes and Boots if you want to. I love Utes and Boots. Tell me about it. That's my new store. That's my new Western Gear store. Uten and
You know, if you're you, you better take a boot. Yes. I we are actually going to you. Newton is what women should call just living. Yeah. We are talking about alien movies. Every day. I'm you. Newton. Newton. Newton. Newton. Newton.
The reason why we're talking about alien movies is because we're headed towards contact in the desert. And we love film here. We've talked about film several times as a triptych. And I think that Eddie brought this up. I think it's good to talk about alien movies because I think even amongst sci-fi films within the sci-fi genre, you would call the alien film its own genre.
part of the genre. Yeah, they lean into horror. Sometimes. Sometimes, exactly. Sometimes they lean into discovery. Because for me, the gamut of alien movies goes from Closer Encounters of the Third Kind to Alien to things like Mac and Me. Oh yeah, for sure. What was the one with the other one with the guy Gossett Jr.?
Oh, uh... Loose Gossett Jr. Well, Enemy Mine. Enemy Mine. Enemy Mine. Yes. Another good alien movie. Yeah, that one scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. It's fucking weird. Stargazer. Or Starman. Starman. Yeah. Which is great. Man who fell to the world. Fell to Earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is... But then that's again... This...
This conversation, really, it depends on what we're defining alien as here. So here's what I want to say. First of all, no comic books, no Marvel, no DC. No. Those aliens don't count. You're saying that, and you said, and up top, you said no superhero movies. No. But I do have one that I feel like could ebb and flow.
Both genres. Let's talk about it. Yeah, I said ebb. Just go with it. Ebb like it's a web, okay? Like it's being spread, like its legs are being spread like a web. I'm still thinking about the holes in the webs, okay? Webs have legs? Meteor, man. Meteor.
Meteor Man. That's not a superhero movie. It is, though. It is a superhero movie, but it is also an alien movie. But I feel that that is a movie that encompasses both. Meteor Man. Meteor Man's fun, but Pluto Nash can go fuck. Yeah, Pluto Nash can suck my dick. Yes, but Meteor Man is great. That is the... So you decided...
of all of the films in the history of film, you went back and picked Meteor Man. I love Meteor Man. Is he an alien? No. He's not an alien. No, he touches a comet. But it's a meteor that comes down. But then here's the thing. Okay, this is what my question to you guys is.
is it still an alien? No. It is a meteorite that comes down. It has to be alive. But it is from outer space. No, it needs to be its own alien. All right. It has to be its own alien. Hey, this is a conversation, Henry. No, we're talking. You're coming in defensive. I'm asking the question because then alien, right?
Yeah. Foreign things coming into your country. Austin Powers. Is he an alien? No. Time traveling. Now we're getting political. That's an immigrant. Time traveling, but also an alien. That's an immigrant. Looper's not an alien movie. But he's from a different portion. I'm here. No, you're just saying the word. No, no, no, no. But some aliens could be us from the future, Henry. Different. But I'm just saying, guys, no, no, no. We're from the future.
immediately went off off the rails. I'm here. I'm blowing it all up. Because if it's going to be Alien, if it's going to be... No Star Wars, no Star Trek. No, I don't care about those. No, we will do... Yeah, no Guardians of the Galaxy. We will do an immigrant film series. I want an immigrant film series. Thank you. I would love to do that. We will, but that's not today. But I only want to talk about Austin Powers when we do it. But he's also technically a federal employee.
Yeah, and he's not, he works for the Brits. He's not an American citizen. No, he's a British spy. Yeah, but he never swears in. But most of the movies take place in London. Yeah. Oh, Jolio! Oh!
You went down the wrong path immediately at the very top of this whole assignment. You know what it was? It was because last night I received the assignment late. And let's say I had had quite a few hogs legs at this point and I started laughing to myself. And you are talking about pork and not weed. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. I'm chomping. I'm grabbing. I'm gnashing. She can tell the fat content goes up in her blood when she gets the rosacea.
Yeah, baby. And I'm all flush, but not with the horn. I'm flushed with this space. But are we flush with the space balls? And how do you feel about barf being considered an alien? This is the thing. Again, we were trying to say no Star Wars either. I think space balls is out. Yes. Okay. All right. Actually, how about this?
that take place in outer space are out. Unless they specifically involve an alien film. They're not an alien in outer space. They're not. They're home. But Mom and Dad Save the World, if you think about it, that is human beings then going, so then the humans are the aliens. It still is an alien-centered film. I would say Mom and Dad Save the World is an alien-centered film.
That is an alien movie. They're on an alien land. And part of it's on Earth. And part of it's on Earth. And they go up there that has the, what was it, the child molester and the other guy who was a woman in that? Yeah. Chester Chester. Chester Chester? Child molester. No, that's the guy. That's the father. Patty Perkins. Patty Perkins. Yep.
So here's some other aliens. These are actual alien movies. Terry Garr. Terry Garr. R.I.P. And so I typed in alien film, and this is what comes up. Contact, Starman, E.T., Galaxy Quest. Sure. Galaxy Quest, I don't count. Why? Because it's in space. They don't ever go to Earth.
I mean, I do sort of, I see what he's saying. It's like a fantasy film. I think it's more like Lord of the Rings than E.T. But it's still about aliens. And what about Alien? Because Alien does take place on the Nostromo. And you can't say that's not an Alien movie. But it is. You know what makes it an Alien movie? It's all
humans versus aliens. Sure. I can actually see that too. I feel the same way with the species. Oh yeah. Species is fun. That's on earth. Spicy. Good fuck movie. Good fuck movie. Where's my good old fashioned
fuck movie that's not the baby girl yeah baby girl sucks natalie and i try to watch it and you're both had the opposite no it's not we had the i had the opposite effect no i think it was very demeaning to women and we'll get into it on a different podcast yeah on the immigrant podcast where women are immigrants i would love to have a kink conversation with both of you no it's not demeaning it's all it's completely she still needs a man okay she still needs a
It's a dude. If she was completely independent, she could have sex with a vacuum cleaner. She should have fired his fucking ass. Yeah, she'd be like, fuck you. Don't disrespect me. I'm the boss. You guys know so much more about the female experience than I do, and I appreciate you both. Now, here's the thing. You're not an expert here. I feel... In this room. So then, but then I'd love to talk about alien comedies because I didn't realize, I...
In thinking about all of these alien movies, I realize as a whole, I am way more scared of space in general than I am of individual aliens. That's why you grip on Jeff so hard? Yeah, because he's got a big space. No, you're scared of him leaving and leaving space. Oh, yeah. But also I'm scared of the gravity going away and me just being sucked up into the universe. But that's just, you know, you got to grip on to the ones that you love. Yes. I am. You wear a space belt.
Yeah. You wouldn't drift into space. Well, no, that's to keep my space pants up. No, the space pants are attached to your space shirt. It's all attached. It's all attached, baby. I wanted to talk about cone heads and I wanted to talk about Earth girls are easy. I haven't seen somebody take a sandwich like that since my mom's.
Yeah. Conant's is amazing. It's a wonderful movie. Now, last night, I was with some friends and we were going to watch Earth Girls Are Easy because of this prompt, but then we had the conversation of does it hold up? We didn't end up, we talked about it for so long, we didn't end up watching the movie. But then in talking through it that I was like, I think it still holds up. When was the last time you watched Earth Girls Are Easy? 25 years. Yeah, because it's been a really long time and I remember I loved it. Yeah, I loved those things. Well, think about it.
the fact that Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and I believe Damon Wayans are the three aliens in that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty cool. That was stacked because I went about the time they did Once Bitten. But you know what? To be honest, I am not a fan of the 80s screwball sex comedy. I am kind of over it. Earth Girls Are Easy is very much a screwball sex comedy more than anything else. Oh, yeah. Because I like...
I want my alien movies, for the most part, to have a touch of, like, you can go to fantasy. Like, Flight of the Navigator. Great. I love Flight of the Navigator because it both is an adventure film. I like all Florida movies. All, sure. But it's also this, it has a touch of why we're making a movie about an alien, which is we're introducing another way of thinking.
We are, we're going on, we're expanding our experience in a way that we would never be able to get on our own. And so there's something about Flight of the Navigator that to me is one of those, that's a good example of the difference between that
and Earth Girls are easy, which is just to see Geena Davis with no bra on. Of course. Is there a trauma that happens in Flight of the Navigator? Because I don't, I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but I remember something about it that really made me very sad. But that's all I remember. All 80s child movies back in the day
had a wonderful sense of what it actually was like to be a kid. Which is sad. Which is dangerous. Yeah. And scary. Like Prancer? Yeah, they would allow things to be sad. They would allow things to be scary for kids. Unlike now where they're not allowed to feel any emotion. So they are now obviously everything's all saccharine and everything's all about everything's fine or whatever. Yeah. But it's like this stuff is like it's nice. You just remember this because it felt like because the kid was genuinely on his own.
Well, that and he was hanging out with the alien who became like real friends with. Yes. Right. And then what the trauma is, they tried to take his friend from him. Yeah. And so maybe just as a kid in seeing that, it just really, and I haven't seen it since. And I was also thinking about watching it last night and I was like,
I feel like I just remember a profound sadness in watching this movie. It's called nostalgia. It's got E.T. It's got the E.T. vibe. It's got the Mac and me vibe where you become friends and someone wants to steal your friend. And one of my hardest things about like truly about E.T., which I'll always kind of like I am thankful that
That they have gone ahead and, I guess, re-put the guns back in? Yes. I believe that they did that. You can watch either version. When they took the guns out of the movie, in the end, Spielberg went back. He wanted to make sure it was good for kids or whatever. And they CGI'd E.T. a little bit. Yes. Like him hopping over logs and shit like that. They did a sheen over it. It was really funny. Did he show his little legs? So bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he looks like Kermit. Yeah.
Oh, but I love Kermit's little legs when they show his legs. I do too, but it's different than when it's E.T. Okay. And so it's like, but that was like one of those things where I watched that and I was like, when you take the guns out of their hands, I know why you're doing it, but you're also removing the stakes. Yes. Yes. You're removing what this is really about. And as a fat man, if you remove the stakes, I ain't coming. Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? Yeah.
Yeah, no, E.T., but yeah, they re-released it, but now you can watch the older version if you get your hands on it, I believe. But E.T.'s like, I still very much, obviously, I like things. E.T.'s an unbelievable film. Now, how about this?
E.T. or Close Encounters? Close Encounters. Close Encounters. Every time. Yeah. I think I go E.T. actually. Really? I think Close Encounters is like if you're like Henry and you're a bigger fan of aliens in general, it's got the lore. All of it. It's got the research. Also the idea that maybe Spielberg, like this is where I love the conspiracy edge too because Spielberg...
At the time, he had government consultants working on that movie. Jacques Vallée, who was obviously one of my favorite theoreticians, my favorite alien thinkers, he was also a consultant on the movie. He's portrayed as a character within the movie. The French guy in Close Encounters of the Third Kind is based off of that guy. And so Spielberg
technically was told many times that this was like, that's why there's a lot of conspiracy theories. Was the ship in the desert something that actually happened? No, but the idea of the U.S. government coming up with a communication protocol to talk with something that doesn't speak is actually, I guess, like part of the government research he got from
that he, like, slipped into the movie. I'm sorry, you mean like Arrival? Like, what happens in Arrival that that's what... Basically, the idea of using tones, like when he does the whole, like, the talking to the aliens, that came from a government...
of if we are approached by another species or something from outer space, how do we communicate? Whoa. And so that is what's awesome. That's what's awesome. And then I feel like that's almost Steven Spielberg's crowning achievement is Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
And it's just, the end's beautiful. It is. I love with, by the way, there's going to be spoilers in this. If you haven't seen Close Encounters of the Third Kind, I don't know what to tell you, bro. I think we're going to be loose-lipped for the rest of the episode. Yeah, we're sinking ships. Yeah, I think that you should know that there will be some spoilers ahead. But at the end with the aliens, when he got the, who, he got little girls, right?
to portray the aliens. All the little aliens at the end, you know how they're walking around? They're all like chilled girls. Why? Because he liked the way they moved. He liked the way they were gentle and stuff like that. Yeah, they're all little kids. He didn't want people to be scared of him. He wanted people to be enamored with him. And so they're all cast
They're all little girls. What is more enamoring than the movement of a little girl? Nothing is more, nothing makes me more filled with amor than the movement. Nobody has ever said they want to fuck with those counter-aliens. I am deeply, deeply attracted to the movement of a little girl. No. No.
Is that the guy you see? Jacques Vallée. Jacques Vallée actually was the first person to sing that song. And also, Spielberg, we got to mention War of the Worlds. I think that War of the Worlds, we talked about this right before we started recording, is a sleeper fantastic movie. I really like it, but I think that it lost its cock at the end of the movie. It did. You know, when they let the kid, when they didn't kill the son. Yeah, they didn't.
They should have killed that motherfucker. Kill him right off. He's an idiot. Show people that there's consequences for your fucking idiot actions. I agree. You know, there should be more kids need to die in films. Yes. I've talked about this. Yeah. Kill the child. Raise the stakes. Let the kids know that if you fuck up, you die in the film. You're dead.
die. You dead, dude. Alright, Tom Cruise is not coming back. He's five foot two. He's not going to protect you. He doesn't care. He's out there looking for a dick to suck, but he's not here to protect you, little boy. No, or a fish to suck his dick. It depends on what he's looking for. Or maybe he was enamored with the activities of a little girl. Oh, yeah. Here it comes full circle. The fish is the woman. Wow. Where are your gills?
They're underneath my flaps. Yep. Remember, you, tits, gills, head, then butt. The gills come seventh in importance. It depends on how you look at the gills and how much you want to stick your dick inside of them. You're already talking about that. He already brought up Predator. Give us more prompts, Eddie. You have some good prompts. Well, Predator, I mean, well, first of all, we talked about Arrival. Let's talk about Arrival. Sure. That's the first contact film. Yeah.
Well, I'd almost say it's its own genre itself even amongst aliens. Then let's go back even further. Alien abduction versus alien invasion versus alien contact. Yes. There's three different things here. There's three different things going on here. I think alien abduction are...
horror movies, alien invasion or action movies, and alien contacts are kind of like drama. That's actually really, that's a very good breakdown. For the most part, yeah. It's a very, very good breakdown because it's true. All the alien abduction movies, Dark Skies, Fire in the Sky, there's a communion. They all have an edge of the horror to it, which is...
The truth of being space raped. And also being brought to an unknown place. That's already very upsetting and you never get taken to a second location. I know these things. We know these things. But abductions are also, I'm trying to think of like, my mind, I'm trying to think of a, you know what's a positive alien abduction movie? What? Cocoon. Cocoon? Well, do they get abducted? Well. Sort of. That's an invasion. They come and they put the eggs in the pool.
Are they all aliens at the time? I don't remember Cocoon. Cocoon, it's an old person's home, and they show up, and there's a bunch of fucking weird eggs in the bottom of the pool. And there's these giant eggs in the pool, and they're trying to figure out what it is, and then all of a sudden, they all get powerful. Am I wrong that I just remember this being very, very boring, but I haven't seen it for a very long time? It was boring for kids.
I remember loving it as a kid. I liked it as a kid. To be honest with you. But I also, I mean, Dama Michi, so much fun. Brian Dennehy, Wilford Grimley. I mean, like, this is great. You can't find this movie now, by the way. Really? It's out of print and it's not streaming anywhere. Really? Why? Apparently it's like selling very high on eBay. That's so funny. I thought it was, why? It was a Ron Howard movie that's, it's like a forgotten classic. I mean, look at the fucking cast. Yeah.
Yeah. I know that you guys don't know if you're younger than the age of 35. The boot and the goot. I mean, get me there. Dude, if you're younger than the age of 35, there used to be a thing called character actors. What they used to do is they used to have people that looked like people you'd meet on the street, but they'd be actors. Yeah. And they'd be in things. And one of those things. But now we just don't get jobs. They just don't. Well, they just don't. You either have to be deformed. Yes. Or you have to be...
And they're only going to make so many Masked movies. You get one fat girl movie a year. That's all you get. If you don't get that, well, you're shit out of luck. Sorry about it. We already put a fat one in. And so this one had, you know who's huge? Don Amici.
Don Amici is an amazing character actor. I believe was also in Batteries Not Included. I think he was. Batteries Not Included was an amazing movie. But not an alien movie. Yes, it is. Oh, I was thinking of Short Circuit because I was looking at Batteries Not Included and then I was looking up Short Circuit. Short Circuit's not an alien movie. Short Circuit's not an alien movie. No, that's a robot come to life movie. That's a robot come to life movie. We will do a robot film. Just like that's Chappie is Short Circuit and Batteries Not Included is more District 9.
That's fascinating right down the throat. Yes, yes. Very good. You know what's funny? I love batteries. I do love batteries on a gluten. Oh, man. It's May. I'm excited. It's getting warm out again. I'm digging through my closet.
pulling out some of those linen shirts I got from Quince last year. I'm ready to put them back in rotation, baby. That's the thing. It's like these linen shirts are great. You know, my linen pants, very nice. Great in the summer. Oh, my gosh. I can't even tell you how nice linen breathes in the summer. But...
I got to go get some of these European linen beach shorts. I'm about to be in Florida. And so I can't. I need this. This needs to happen. I have to look good on these beaches. Either that or I look like a coward in front of all my old friends. All right. So when you come back, you want to look good. You want to dress like a prince. And you know how you do that?
With quince. Ha ha! You know I love quince if you've listened to this show before. But the thing is why I like quince so much, not only is it nice, not only does the linen breathe well, and the linen's so expensive, the linen at quince is priced 50% to 80% less than what you'd find from similar brands.
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What I think is important when we talk about this dumb stuff, right? Like we're sitting here partially. It's obviously we're having fun on the show and we like talking about movies, but it really is important, I think, to filmmakers. And I've heard this said in filmmaking class, which is the idea of know your genre. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about the movie if you know what...
genre of the movie is as the maker. And so that perspective changes everything. And it really requires, I think, unfortunately, the real education of a filmmaker is watching movies and identifying what are the telltale signs of very specific genres. Because then what you can do is, if you're a really good filmmaker, you can manipulate the
the traditional chapters of a genre film to tell stories, but it's important to know those very traditional chapters. Right. And that they are very distinct versions of movies. And it's funny until you start to really pick them all apart to see like there really is entire veins of
You could see producers in the 80s saying, having kind of dumb-ass conversations like this that are actually extremely important to the art. Absolutely. I mean, Alien movies are very deep. They're way deeper than you think they are. Oh, yeah. For sure. A lot of times they reflect society.
which I think is really fucking cool. Well, that's also the best part of horror and genre. I feel like horror as a genre is one of the best. Same thing with sci-fi. Sci-fi and horror are such a great, entertaining way to deliver ideas as well, especially sci-fi. Sci-fi is like, that's why in the end I love sci-fi is because it delivers cool ideas.
concepts in an entertaining way. How like District 9 is kind of about apartheid. Very much so. Oh yes. I love that shit. District 9 is so good. I love District 9. It is so good. I feel like that movie people, I hear a lot of people say they don't like it. No, it's because he lost the poll. I think the director himself kind of lost it. It got nominated for Best Picture. But the rest of his movies were not for Alicia. I love Chappie. I love Chappie.
I'm a Chappie sympathizer. I hate Chappie. But District 9 was very good. I know. And it has great rewatchability. I have seen it multiple times. But for me, Chappie ruined that for me. There's a sequel coming. Of Chappie? Chappie? District 9. Oh, cool. We've been working on it for like 10 years. Yeah, District 69. Alien 9. Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. Alien 9.
Sucking dick. Sucking dick. Eating pussy, dude. They're fucking eat your prawn ass, dude. I'm fucking skin you. I'll take your show off. I'm shitting. It's not my pussy. It's my asshole. I want to bring up a movie that I, it was one of the first movies I thought of when you said alien movies, and it was one of my favorites as a child, and that was Purple People Eater. Oh. One on one, horn flying, purple people eater. One on one, horn flying, purple people eater.
paper later. Do you remember the movie? Absolutely. I was obsessed with that movie. We all were. Slapstick Children's film. So weird. And I feel like that's why in going back through, I have so many more memories and I don't know if it was because I was...
born in the late 80s of zany alien movies. When I think alien movies, also one of the first things I thought of, Little Shop of Horrors. That's more of where my brain goes to. I guess that is an alien movie. It's very much an alien movie. It's from outer space. It's a trifid. I think of a Rocky Horror Picture Show. A Rocky Horror? Yeah, they're aliens from the
Planet Transylvania. I thought that was from the Planet Transylvania. Oh, that's not a Frankenstein movie. No. Oh, interesting. I mean, there's parts of that. Have you never seen Rocky Horror? I have, but I'm always hammered. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. It is. It's so... I think that having... I would love to do a big... Go and do an experience. I've never actually gone to a Rocky Horror movie. I've done it a couple times. It's a lot of fun. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. I have friends that do it in...
They do it regularly. And yeah, it sounds like a blast. I just never, I've never. I've never really done it. I stumbled upon it in Phoenix when I was by myself at midnight and I had one seat left. It was amazing. I had such a great time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Little Shop of Horrors is very good and really did scare me. That, I think, scared me more than the original Alien did when I saw it young just because I thought
it could happen. Like in a way that I think when I was a kid, I thought alien could never happen, but Little Shop of Horrors could. And I know that's a very stupid thing to say. Well, because you're in space and you can relate to New York. You can't relate to a spaceship. Because we grew up scared of Event Horizon. Yes, because we grew up in Skid Row. Oh, Skid Row. Oh!
And I love Little Shop of Horrors. You know, I think that, I wonder what it is. Maybe let's ask this question because I wonder if, again, if you're younger than 30, if you've experienced this, where when we were growing up, I remember being vaguely traumatized by certain films when I was a kid that now I look at are not...
They're not scary. Right. Well, you didn't have restrictions on you, right? You could watch anything? Semi-sorta. But it was the stuff that was interesting. It was the stuff like... Oh, my God. You're showing us the look who's talking toilet. Look who's talking toilet. That was mine. That was mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were scared of the toilet. That was look who's talking too, right? I think so. Yes. You know what mine was? Give me your pee. Give me your pee. Give her pee. Yes. You know what was mine? It was the opening sequence from Amazing Stories. Oh, yeah.
Oh. The opening sequence from Amazing Stories that was the Steven Spielberg's basically Twilight Zone ripoff. Yes. That was truly, play this. For some reason, it still brings chills to my fucking spine for some reason. The song of it does. Is that just... No, this is a sexy scene. This is a clip because it's a... Remember that when he got the ring? He buys the ring from the pawn shop. Yes. And it's Danny DeVito and Real Perlman. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh my god, yes. I don't know why this... I remember this. This just freaks me out. It literally makes all the hairs back on my neck. It shows you... This is like Spaceship Earth. It is. It shows you the evolution of storytelling. Something about the music and the caveman being lost in the dark and the top hat. The top hat and magic. Oh, those dirty magician liars. I don't like their lying.
Life isn't an illusion.
Life is real, magician man. I gotta watch this. I haven't seen this legitimately since I was a child. Amazing Stories really holds up. Yeah? I've watched a fuck ton of it recently. So does the Twilight Zone movie. Oh, yeah. Except for the murder he committed, it's actually a perfect movie. It's not a murder. It was an accidental death. That is gonna get... They were being fast and loose with some rules. They were being fast and loose, but at the same time, they didn't kill anyone on purpose. Unfortunately, it's just the idea that movies are...
supposed to be just so important that it doesn't matter what happens to anybody involved. Like, that's like one of those things that I'll always sort of like, there's a bitter taste in my mouth because it led to the Russ stuff and it led to the Allman Brothers stuff with Sarah Brown and Sarah Jones and it led to all that stuff where it's like that idea that, you know, we need to be so thankful to be in this
Yeah. That we can die for it. But accidents do happen on any job. I agree. I agree. It was mostly just everybody saying like. It's not like a line cook's never been dead, you know? Well, most of the time a line cook is killed by an ex-girlfriend or someone else on staff. That's different. Again, they just are. They chose the life.
Lion Cook Life chose them. What are some recent Alien films that you've seen? Alien, obviously, we're not talking about the Alien series, but movies about aliens that you've seen. I'll go first. Last night, I wanted to prepare a little bit, so I put two on. I didn't make it through the second one, but I saw No One Will Save You, the Hulu original new film. Yes. It's high. Yeah, it's high. It was better than I thought it was going to be. I wish I would have known that there was no dialogue in the movie. Oh.
Oh, my God. I remember I'm 30 minutes in and I'm like, are they not talking? Yeah. Quiet. Well, I got technically Alien Romulus was fine. I really liked it. I liked it. I liked it better than Prometheus. No, of course. I thought that was fine. I saw that one. And then is Dune an alien movie? No. No. Dune's in the Star Trek movie.
I think so. I mean, technically, it's a fantasy. Have you ever seen Sputnik? No. Sputnik is a very good alien horror film. Yeah. Very, very good. And there was another one about, remember that the moon's dangerous? The one where they go up on the moon. I want to say it's Apollo...
Oh, yeah. Like 19? It's a couple. They made it a couple years ago. Yes. Apollo, like 19. They go to the moon. I don't know that one. They go to the moon and it turns out the moon's got bugs on it. It's got evil bugs on it. Not dangerous moon light. It's called Apollo something. It's Apollo something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's another one of the more recent ones, I think. Of course. Google's like, Apollo 13. No. No, I know what that is. Yes. It's Apollo 11. Is...
A Quiet Place an alien movie. Yes. They are aliens? Alien Invasion. They are aliens. It's an alien invasion. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very much so. That Quiet Place prequel, whatever that other one was. God, that was hot garbage. You're telling me the cat isn't going to meow one fucking time? What?
One time. One meow out of that cat. One time. To rip its larynx out. The original one was pretty good. I thought it was pretty good. It's not, yeah, it didn't break the bank. Do you know how many movies came out in a row about being quiet? Yeah. There was like five movies in a row about being quiet. And honestly, you know which one won? Don't Breathe. Yes. Don't Breathe was obviously
Made for $2 million in Detroit. So good. And that is our Be Quiet film movie genre episode. So say it, Quiet Place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One thing I like about the Quiet Place, no cokeheads. Sad. Yeah, man. They're not tweaking out loud enough. But also, Cloverfield Lane. 10 Cloverfield Lane is fucking awesome. Yes, it is. So good. One of John Goodman's greatest roles. Tragic.
He didn't get nominated. Yes. He puts on a display of acting in that film. I love 10. It's one of the movies on my list. I think it's one of my favorite alien films. I love that movie. Yeah, it's terrifying. It's three different genres in one. You know, it's like a capture. What would you call that? Like a kidnapping film, I guess? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would put it as a, you know what's funny? It's in the be quiet movie category. Yes, it is. And we're saving it for that.
And the be quiet movie category. Unfortunately, that's a whole other thing. Everybody's got to be quiet. So how do you feel about, can I let out of the bag who we're going to interview at Contact in the Desert? Of course. We're going to interview Whitley Schreber at Contact in the Desert. Very excited. So I'm like, once I found out last night that Communion is actually about him, written by him, wrote the screenplay and the book.
Yes. I got halfway through it. I'm enjoying it, but it is a little silly. It's dated for sure. The Christopher Walken thing, it is quite dated. The aliens are definitely puppets. There is a weird thing with Christopher Walken. I like puppets. Christopher Walken's really given a very amorphous... I think these are behind the scenes. No, this is from the movie. Yes. This is from the movie? I didn't get to this part. He dances like this?
in the movie? He can't help it. It's like Sam Rockwell. He's going to dance if he's in a film. Yes. I mean, he used to be a dancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how do you feel about Communion? Is it accurate? And then a follow-up question, Henry. What is the most accurate movie about alien invasions or something like that that you would think of? I personally think the most accurate movie
I love arrival. Okay. I love the idea of something truly alien that it is very difficult for us to understand. Love that. Um, I think that's a part of what the main issue is, is that we expect these things to show up and we'd even recognize them. Yes. Uh, I,
And then communion, you'd probably close to put the most directly consulted by somebody that was abducted by aliens. So I guess technically you would say it would have to be the most accurate because the guy that wrote it was abducted by aliens. Fire in the sky. Fire in the sky.
had a lot of liberties. I don't know if Travis Walton necessarily was even involved with the making of Fire in the Sky. Because it's based off of the book. I believe that he was more inspired. Oh, he's in it. He's in the movie. He's in the movie, but I don't know if he contributes. He makes a cameo, so I think he's,
I mean, he co-signs it for sure. When we saw him speak in Contact in the Desert, he showed scenes from the film. Of course. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's got to be pro it. Yeah, but what do you... So you think Arrival would be the most accurate to what we're talking about here? Like, you know, I go back and forth. I mean, because it's so over the top and they're making a clear point that...
first of all, don't be scared of them. Well, you know, and it's just as much a time travel movie as it is. Yeah, I do. Yeah. You know, it's hard because in my mind, I still believe that there's way more of a psychic component to the whole thing. I think that, that a, the idea of the, the entire scenario being kind of wrapped up, um,
In one movie, it's actually quite difficult. Yeah. I think Close Encounters might be the most accurate. Sure. Because it's got the orbs. It's got the, you know, it's got a lot of things that are taken straight from people's experiences. Oh, yes. And then the idea of feeling like you're special, like you're being spoken to, like you got chose. Richard Dreyfuss was chosen in that film. A lot of times people talk about abduction scenarios going on. When people that have been abducted that remember...
past a certain age. They then kind of go into either some form of regression therapy or something where then they begin to think that they're or maybe come to realize that they have been getting abducted since they were a kid. Yeah. So that would also reflect that. And then I do think it's Mac and me. And I think that's the final one. Yeah. It has to have a butthole for a mouth. Yes. You know what other one I like a lot? Contact. Contact.
Contact is a very emotional movie. Yeah, I enjoy Contact. I think it's definitely... It has its silly parts to it. It gets a little weird with the Matthew McConaughey and all that stuff. But I love the Jake Busey character. He's terrifying to me. And, you know, it's just that. Do you think Jake Busey
like frightens his family and his friends. Obviously. Do you see that Gary Busey's grandson has a band? It's a one man band that he does fake rave music with. Oh, so he's not like playing the accordion or anything? Is he Jake's kid?
Or is it another child's kid? No, it's some other child's because the guy's too old. Oh, okay. But yeah, I mean, that's nothing to do with what we're talking about. No. Gary Busey could be an alien. Yeah, he definitely could have. I have a question for you guys because you said, all right, no movies that completely occur in space, but what about Spheres?
Now, that is in space, but that is an alien, or it's like at least, you know, something that is to them. I didn't even think about spheres. Spheres kind of water-ish, isn't it? Esk, but it's also, I mean, it can like read you and go inside of it and like know, so it is like alien technology. Now we know about aliens more than ever. They are probably, if they are somehow based on the planet Earth, they probably are coming from the water. Yes. Okay. That makes sense. Wow. Sphere. I haven't thought about sphere.
I loved the movie Sphere.
I always enjoy it. It's not, you don't watch it for it to be good though. Okay. Fair enough. I have two more esoteric choices that I absolutely love. Oh yeah? Annihilation. I love Annihilation. Yes. But that's, you know, that's not another, Annihilation's great. You know what else? Can I say something about Annihilation?
I feel like the plot from Annihilation was borrowed from for Frozen 2. And I think that they fucking ripped off Annihilation. Well, you know what? They took it all. Okay, you're saying, okay, I thought you meant that Frozen 2 or that Annihilation stole from Frozen 2. No, the other way. Oh, Rob just brought up Space Invaders. Space Invaders is fun. Space Invaders is a lot of fun. Oh.
Oh, shit. Yeah, this movie's a blast. Everyone knows about space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is very stupid. It's actually not good at all, but it's worth watching. I would see that again. Yeah, no, definitely, you know, biggest joint you can roll for space invaders. You know, way better than Paul.
I hate Paul. Paul sucked. Right? Yeah, Paul was garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth MacFarlane's not good at movies. He's not, is he? No. Although I am very excited for the new Naked Gun. I'll watch it. I'll see it. I'll see it. We'll see. Live from Northland.
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Annihilation is essentially a retrofitting of Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. Yes! Same thing as Apocalypse Now. Very much is. It's all about traveling into a thing. Technically also Annihilation borrows a lot from a sci-fi author by the name of J.G. Ballard.
who wrote a book called The Crystal World that is just like this. It's just this like a weird force has arrived. It's changing a part of this one part of the country. Scientists are arriving in there to try to figure it out. Yeah. And it's a, there's something about the travel in. No one saw Annihilation. I feel like it got like unjustly like, I don't know, panned or I don't know what happened to that movie and why it wasn't popular.
It was by what's-his-name, right? Alex Garland. Same guy who did, is that Ex Machina or no? That is Ex Machina, right? And Civil War. Yeah. Warfare. And Civil War and Warfare. Wow, okay. What's Warfare? I like all of his movies. That's the new Iraq War. Yeah, it's the new Iraq War movie. It's good. Is it funny? No, it's hilarious. It's hilarious, yeah. It's a laugh a minute. It takes place in real time. Oh, wow. It's very good. Oh, that's...
But it's not funny. But he's also doing 28 Years Later, which I am excited. Oh, I thought that was Danny Boyle. That's Danny Boyle. Oh, is it? I thought it was Alex Garland. No, Danny Boyle. They're putting Michael Gandolfini in more things. He was good. He was good. He's good in Warfare. He's good. Yeah. Oh, did you see Warfare? Yeah. Oh, wow. Both of us saw it. We didn't go together, but we saw it. No, we both saw it. Yeah. All right. Let's move on to...
Alien films we don't like. I'll go first. Pitch Black and Signs. Don't like either one of them. You know, Pitch Black is funny because that's a Vin Diesel effort outside of Triple X that I actually kind of like. Because nowadays, you know what's funny about those style of like...
this genre is that at this point, because of the superhero genre, it makes these movies look way better. Okay. Without the superhero... If you got rid of the superhero genre... It does take place in space, so I'm going against my own bullshit here. But if you got rid of the superhero genre...
We would still be bagging on these movies, but because superhero movies are such a waste of everybody's time and such a waste of the economy and money and shit, these movies you just showed that like, look at this. Like this was made for like $25 million. How much you hate the superhero genre. We, you know, we do ads for them. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking can't stand them. I think Thunderbolts is going to be great. The problem with the movies, my main issue truly is just that I'm not good.
going to watch ten movies to watch one movie. You don't have to. Yes, you do. They make up for idiot proof. No, but then that's the problem is that now I'm watching them as an idiot and I've done this. I've tried to watch them out of sequence and then I watch one that I'm sort of vaguely interested in and they have all these references to a bunch of shit that I couldn't possibly give a fuck about and it's all this other stuff where it's like, just make this one movie and I would have bought a ticket to it. There's just one sequence
standalone film, I could just watch the movie. That's why I watch movies and I hate television series. I don't watch television series because guess what? They never end. They just fucking keep going. You really don't watch it. I don't like TV that much, but I do watch some of it. You watch none of it. I watch none. I watch trash TV. I watch trash reality TV, documentaries. I watch my drag race. I watch my, I got Project Runways coming back.
And then I watch movies. See, I watch none of that, and I watch some actual TV. Yeah, every time I watch a TV, I don't like it.
second. You're such a fucking coward. I just don't like it. It's not for me. I hate the thing too. You know what I really, really fucking hate? What I really fucking hate is when somebody does the thing. What do you hate? He opened this. Yeah, what do you hate? When they, like, it's just there's too many storylines all at once. And everybody, it's just like, I just don't, I don't care. You love Twin Peaks. You know what's proof that Henry doesn't like TV shows? You hate the Dune show.
I'm not allowed to say we have to cut that. We do a series of ads for it. We'll have to cut it. We do ads for Marvel movies. Marvel movies, they don't even hear what we say. They have no idea what we say. We love them. We love them. You know what it is about them? I guess it's like I don't mean to be that butthurt about it. It's just like I feel like you could probably like I'm watching our friend Ryan Kukler.
Oh, yeah. Oh, is this how you're referring to him now? Yes, my friend. All right, great. I'm watching him get run over the coals in the trades, all bagging him for his money, how little, quote, unquote, how much money that show was supposed to make sinners and shit. It's killing it. It's an R-rated movie that's number one in the box office two weeks in a row. Yeah, dude, but they're comparing it
to the everyone in China is seeing the new Marvel movie money that they have to make. These Marvel movies have to make hundreds of millions, almost a billion dollars just to break even. And it is killing Marvel.
It is killing the entire industry. Well, it's bringing back independent film. No, it's not yet because they're all dogging on the independent films that sort of do well. Sinners is not an independent film. That's how fucked shit is, Eddie. But that's how shit
That's how fucked shit is right now, Eddie. That's viewed as a scrappy movie that might just make it. And it's like, it's a fucking huge tentpole horror summer film, you morons. There's two Michael B. Jordans in it. It just gets to a point where it's like, how much money are we all supposed to make?
Yes. No, but that movie's going to fucking... It's killing it. It only made back its money. No, I love Sinners. I'm just saying that that's kind of what we're... That's what the Marvel and superhero movies do is set up this like...
unmatchable amount of money. Yeah. That everybody has to make. Yeah. And it has to be palatable to any person with half an eyeball. Yeah. That can arrive to see it. And they're shitting on him like he didn't make two of the biggest movies ever made. He's just, he just made, he,
made a superhero dude. He did one for you guys. He made Black Panther guys. And everyone's trashing the fact that he got this deal where he owns it after 25 years. Which Tarantino got the deal! It's nothing uncommon. Everybody's just trying to hurt this man. They're trying to hurt the man and trying to hurt the work. And there's no fucking reason for it. Alright, well... I like the movie The Faculty. No! No!
I like that they gave it a good soundtrack. Yes. It's got a great soundtrack. It is, but in talking about alien movies that are not very good, that is definitely one of them. But man, I will say if it is on, I'll watch it. Do you remember they had to push it because it was all about killing the teachers? Oh,
Oh, and it was right after Columbine. Yes. Or are you thinking about teaching Mrs. Tingle? I am, because it was supposed to be killing Mrs. Tingle, and then they changed it. Teaching Mrs. Tingle was the one where they killed the... Because this is, I mean, they're aliens, so you gotta kill these... You know what one I had to get over my penis to enjoy? What? Under the skin. I never saw it. Under the skin, when I first saw it, I was just like, it's good, it's good, look at it, it's poopy, it's in it. And then, now, as an adult...
I'll watch it. And I realize it's actually quite good. It's quite haunting. It's actually very, very, very good. And I want to say it's probably ScarJo's best movie. I didn't even know it was an alien film. Yes. Until I started researching this episode. It's ScarJo's best movie outside of her where she's not in it. Yeah. You know what's a good future space movie but not an alien movie that kind of I've always put in the same genre as this. And I'm probably incorrect. It's Melancholia. Yeah.
You know, Melancholia is a cool movie. That's a very interesting movie. It's got deer hunter vibes to it. It does. It's sad. It's very sad. Yeah. It's very sad, but I like that movie. And it's got, you know, Kate Winslet's boobies. Well, no, not Kate Winslet, the other one.
Oh, Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst. But they're sad boobies. But they're sad boobies, yeah. That's the thing. I always kind of felt like that. Is under the skin sad boobies? Yeah. You know what's also funny, too, is that as a kid, too, like, I remember doing that. You ever just, like, okay, Jackie, you're not here.
You ever do the thing where you're... I am here. I need everyone to know I am still here. Where you have to thumb through an extremely sad movie just to see tits as a little boy? Oh, I mean, yes. That was a big part of my childhood. Like the piano? I was flipping through the piano. Just to see her.
You don't want me to be hearing this, but I need you to know I need to bring up Astronaut's Wife because that is definitely a movie that I would go right. I knew exactly how to get to the one sex scene in Astronaut's Wife, which was a great fun alien movie. Now we're just looking at Holly Hunter nude for the piano. Sad nude in the piano. I never saw the
piano. I didn't know Holly Hunter got nude. Yeah, but the rest of it's boring. Oh, man. She's so beautiful. Yeah, she is. She's really just a classic, beautiful woman. She just cry, cry, cries. I watched The Firm the other day. Guess what, man? No fucking piano in either. I'm expecting. There's no piano
That movie? This is my thing. You call that movie the piano. Are you really going to fucking tell me there isn't one piano in the piano? Not, listen to me, Eddie, not one Jerry Lee Lewis song. Whoa. Oh, my God. Yeah, man, that's fucked up. And you know what else? That's how that movie should open. There's no game in the crying game. There's no game. It's just crying. Yeah.
Man, that would be so cool. The piano. The piano too. Ragtime. I think she's a deaf woman.
It says there is a piano in the piano. Yeah, there's like a piano in it. Yeah, she's mute. She's mute? Oh, does she talk through a piano? Well, she does the thing where she's like, she tries to marry the piano. I don't know. Yeah, she becomes the piano, but she can't. Oh, okay. You ever play the piano game with a girl where you press on her clit until she starts doing the chopsticks thing? What'd you do with your feet, like Tom...
Yeah, my heels. Don't forget, in Big, that woman fucks a child. Oh, yeah. But we are talking about it. There's a whole genre of child trapped inside adult's body having sex with adult. Different episodes. There's many of those films. Sleeper movies about aliens. Ones that you think maybe have flown under the radar. People haven't seen that much. I'll go first, as always. Slither.
I love Slither. Slither is fucking cool, man. It's gross. Michael Rooker is incredible in that movie. I really love Slither. You know what's one that I forgot about that I was reminded by? It's a major one. It's just one of those that doesn't come about because it's the type of movie you don't see as much anymore. The Blob.
The 80s blob is one of I love that movie and the idea of there used to be a lot more movies about just a big thing You know like ants Remember Them With the ants It's like very interesting It's actually kind of an interesting movie There was also the other movies Killer Bee ones Caterpillars I think
I don't know. Not Ants. Not Ants the film. Yeah, Ants the film. Ants the film, which I think is technically the last. Sylvester Stallone, Woody Allen movie. The last Sylvester Stallone, Woody Allen film that we'll ever get. Yes, that's the last one we'll ever get. I don't think there'll be more. Yeah, there are two. There's an Ants 2? No, two Sylvester Stallone, Woody Allen movies because he's in any hole.
He's one of the guys that robs him on the train. That's so funny. Whoa, the Italian Stallion. Wow. Robbing him on a train. No shit. Or is it Bananas? It's one of the other ones. He's in, Stallone is in. Those are the ones of his I've seen the least. Yeah. But regardless, we're not doing that. No, no, we're not doing canceled director's films. Yeah, we're not doing Aliens. We're doing Aliens. We're going to do another one where we do canceled director's films. Okay, good. I can't wait for that. Oh, wow. That's going to be great. I'll get into that. I'll look into it. I just saw Chinatown.
Great movie. That's Chinatown. Great movie, man. Guess who didn't like it? My wife. She was extremely upset by that film. What? I don't know. I was like, because in the end, at the very end of the movie, she was just like,
That's it? Chinatown. Chinatown. I was like, yeah, baby. It's Chinatown. She did not enjoy the, yeah, she was not into it. I really liked Attack the Block. Yes! I think that's one that is like a, that might be one that people don't bring up. What happened to John Boyega? He's a good guy.
Star Wars. Does he do anything else, though? I think, doesn't he do Star Wars? He did Star Wars, but that's all done now. He then got upset about, then he got mad about his treatment during Star Wars. Oh, okay. Pacific Rim. He was in Pacific Rim. Oh, they're fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were okay, those movies. Man, that second Pacific Rim was so bad.
You know, I find them entertaining. I like the first one we saw together. It was a lot of fun. Truly, anything that's not some form of IP, sign me up. I'm desperate for new IP. Like, give me another time. I don't care. Bring Triple X back.
I know no one likes XXX, but I'll see more XXX movies. I watched five Final Destination movies in a row at home because I was sick. I watched all the movies in a row. That's great. Didn't you love them even more as they went on? They're terrible. Yeah. But what's nice about them is that it's not...
I'm not being spoon-fed things that I need to purchase. Honestly, you know what you need to do next? Watch all of the Fast and Furious movies back to back. They are good. They are very fun. No, there's a bunch of really, really bad ones. Well, Tokyo Trip is bad. There's a couple ones you can cut out in the middle, but man, it just really, when they talk about, are they aliens, when they come, when they ride in the car from space down back to Earth and still jump out of the car to murder. They're anything but alien. They're not aliens.
Their family. Their family. Their family. One that came up that I forget, Color Out of Space. I brought this up. I said it under my breath earlier. I view Color Out of Space as an eldritch horror film. Now, a question, though, what would be the difference? And because then it's not coming from space, because it's coming then essentially like from the earth? I don't know.
I don't know anything about this movie. Oh, I think that you would really enjoy Color Out of Space. It's a slow burn. It is. I like a slow burn. Oh. Yeah. Cool. It's just a fun, psychedelic, Nick Cage sci-fi movie. Yes, it's by Richard Stanley, the guy that did Island of Dr. Moreau. Okay. That was the failed, was considered to be the failed Island of Dr. Moreau.
I still enjoy it. I love that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, an undiscovered classic of his in the sci-fi genre, Hardware, which is actually quite good, and the Dust Devil. I've seen all of his films for some reason. Really? And they're good? Dust Devil's really strange. It's like an erotic horror.
horror thriller that he kind of, after the success of Hardware, he was kind of allowed, again, this is one of those things, you still give great deals to filmmakers all the time. He just got this kind of like, alright, now you make dreams desire. And then he made this kind of weird wizard desert sex movie and everyone's like, oh, this is bad.
But it's quite, I liked it. Now, how about this? I know this is one that y'all love and we haven't brought it up yet. Maybe, I don't know if it's a sleeper or not, but Bad Taste. Oh, Bad Taste is a part of the Peter Jackson. Oh, yeah. You know, Peter Jackson, those early movies, they mean a lot to me. They're not good. They're not. But they're important to watch. Yes, they're not bad.
his best work but they are like Dead Alive is I love Dead Alive Dead Alive holds up and like the X-rated version of Dead Alive is required watching I think Meet the Feebles holds up but I also haven't seen it in a minute when's the last time you saw it it's been a minute it's pretty bad it does not quite hold up but here's the thing though Bad Taste and Meet the Feebles hold
for me, are important movies because I remember seeing them at a time that I didn't know that you could make movies like this. And we laughed our asses off. In America, you couldn't probably. We laughed and just, like, loved it so much and it so affected me that while, yeah, they're not good movies, they were huge to, like, opening up my brain into, like, what you could make. Yeah. Because to me, that's the big deal is that, like,
What does it mean to you? What do the movies mean to you? I think that that's like what we sort of miss sometimes in the age of like, I think that's also part of why I have to examine my anger. And when I get angry, like you heard me earlier, I got angry. And then a lot of times what my therapist tells me to do is to stop and think about like, where is it coming from?
And the anger a lot of times for me comes from a deep sadness. And I think part of where the sadness comes from sometimes is that when you are making work on such a level where you're putting out 10 episodes of a series at once and the idea of binge viewing and binge content making and binge like all of this concept, you begin to lose. Like, I guess that's one of my main issues is that with the new influx of all the content is.
is that they all blend together. And then part of me then thinks like, these are people, each one of these television shows is a year out of those people's lives that you consume in six hours. And then you're like, next! And then I feel like it does get to a point where you're like, the movies used to...
For me, these movies meant something. Like, even the bad ones meant something. A lot of times the great actors say they prefer television because they really get a hold of the character. I understand. They get to really be a part of the character for a very long time. But that's if the writing is good. Yes.
And Killer Clowns from Outer Space is how we're ending this whole fucking game. Yes. Because it's the best one of all. Yeah, it is a great movie. I really love Killer Clowns. I totally understand digging into it as an actor, but again, I'm the audience member. I'm not the actor. Yeah, for sure. I'm trying to watch it.
And I get sad because I feel like a lot of people's work gets overlooked. And I think that people spend a lot of time and then their work is harshly judged and quickly judged and it's flushed on the toilet. Yeah. No. And it makes me angry because I feel like more people should understand what goes into the stuff that they watch. Wow. Yeah. And I, you know, I have a similar feeling. I feel like horror movies and like in sci-fi alien movies and all that stuff was really big for me because it like,
I don't know. It kind of like, I was an only child who like, I was like, I lived in Boca Raton, but my family was like the family that went poor trying to live in Boca Raton. And so like, I wasn't like in with all the rich kids and I was like super fat. And so like I went to Catholic school, so I was a nerd. I didn't have any friends, you know? And so I had like two friends and we watched horror movies and we fucking, and that's how like I related to society. Same.
Exactly the same. From like eight to like 14, you know, until I got to high school and my fucking came out of my shell. They're very important. They really help people more than people think. Oh, yeah. You know, it's a lot of people look at it as trash and all that stuff. But it's actually like they teach you about society. They like they're the first movies were for women and people of color are the leads. No, sci-fi was a sci-fi means the world to me because of that.
Because I'll always remember when I first got into reading sci-fi and watching these movies was when we moved really from New York to Florida. Same thing. It was an escape. I was alone. And there was something about connecting to something else that felt different.
Alien. Yeah. Right. And specifically with aliens, I think that opening up, especially from a kid's perspective of opening up what could be and showing you even in like the zany alien comedies that a lot of us grew up on. I feel like it showed us that possibility.
Your current reality isn't the only thing that can exist. And that's a good thing. Like, I watch alien movies from being a kid and thought, oh, that's freedom. That's a freedom that we can have. That who knows what could happen. Think about how free the flying purple people eater monster was. So free. The last bout of freedom that anyone's ever had. Didn't have to wear any clothes. Stitch? Totally free. Yes!
Stitch not a... He's an alien. Alien. Oh, yeah. Stitch is an alien. He came from outer space. It's the first scene of the movie. I'm going to admit, never seen it. I also haven't seen it. Really? But they're coming out with the... Because a lot of people in our chat on our Friday show were very excited because they're doing a live action Lilo and Stitch. And I've never seen... That makes me want to die.
I'll check it out. It looks cute. Just the idea of the live action Lilo and Stitch. We already have a Lilo and Stitch. They can just watch the old one. But you didn't. No, it's not for me. I mean, the kids can watch the old one. The kids can watch the old fucking one. They already fucking made it. They already made it. And it wasn't even that fucking long ago.
It was 20-something years ago. Whoa, is it? Yeah. No, I guess monsters under the bed and demons are very different than aliens because I just saw little monsters and I got excited. That's monsters. But that's monsters under the bed. Another episode that we will do. That is, yes. Monsters. Well, this has been wonderful. This really has been. Can we write down all the potential episodes that we're going to do?
Someone will do it on Reddit, I'm sure. We'll definitely do the Be Quiet films. Yeah, I like that. Canceled directors films. Love it. I think canceled directors films is going to be important for us. Oh, absolutely. People really want us to do that. Oh, yeah. They really want us to examine. Scream it and really give them opportunities to rent them. I want to give you my definitive Woody Allen watch list. Yay. I'll tell you what to watch. His front door.
Make sure he stays inside. Make sure he don't leave. Make sure he don't come after you now. Oh, Woody Allen. You know, he's done. He'll be dead soon. This is great. Make sure you watch and listen to Good Pud. Please do. The funniest show on the network by far. We are going to be doing, you'll see, a revamp of Good Pud. We have a bit of a special coming up for you very, very soon. We certainly do. I hope you enjoy because we definitely enjoyed making it.
And we are going to, and then Hoop-A-Goo is going to be coming in. We're doing Hoop soon. Yes, absolutely. We're going to be pausing live streams, but then we're going to be coming back out with a whole season of Hoop-A-Goo-Goo. It's going to be very well made and produced. Not that it wasn't before, but it's going to be organized. We're doing this shit. I'm very excited. And then, of course, this comes out on Wednesday, May 7th. If you happen to be in Fort Lauderdale, the three of us are performing tonight.
Come check us out. At the Fort Lauderdale Improv. So come check it out. And we are prepared. We have our material. Jackie's doing 25 minutes up top. Yeah, I've got it all set. Yes, she's doing, she's got a whole thing. I'm polished. And it's all about Borschen. Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. I'm going to get into that. Borschen.
You can go fake and cry. I'm talking about abortion. But of course, you know, if you've got abortion problems or if you have any other kind of bitch problems. I've got 99 problems, but abortion ain't one. But a bitch might be one. If you've got abortion problems, I feel bad for you, son. And you should take those problems to whosethebitch.com. Let us know what those problems are. Whosethebitch.com. Don't you have a phone number?
We do have a phone number, but all the information is on whosethebitch.com. Good work. Yeah, go do that. And then also tomorrow night, we're going to be in Orlando, the three of us, at the Orlando Funny Bone. The early show is sold out. There are still some tickets available for the late show. And that's where Jackie will be doing her full episode.
hour on her portion. And that's when she's going to come up, mostly be talking. We're not going to be talking. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs are in my hole in here. Eggs are going out out here. And by beat poetry means I'm going to do poetry and y'all going to beat the shit out of me. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Hitting that woman. Always funny.
Also, if you happen to be in Key West this weekend, come and see me in Key West at the Comedy Key West. I'm going to be there from May 9th to 11th. And he may not be doing comedy, but he is going to be drinking hard. Yeah, yeah. So you just be right there with him. Yeah, absolutely. Especially on Mother's Day.
Please go see his show on Mother's Day. Please just go see any show on Mother's Day. What else are you doing in Key West on Mother's Day? That's all he's asking for. Bring your mother to a show on Mother's Day on Key West. They like me. Come on. Moms love me. They do. Come on. He's allowed to eat pussy on the island. All right, y'all. This has been Side Stories. Hail Satan. Goodbye, everyone. Bye. Hail Peter Jackson. Yes.
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