Grant Ellis: What The Bachelor Taught Me About Life, Love, and Success | E155
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You're kissing multiple women on the same night. How do you actually focus and get to know who you want to be with when there's 25 people that you're kissing? Physical chemistry is a big part. I had been single for a while. You know, some people are going to say you're kissing too many people, but listen, I'm dating. I'm dating and this is the way that I want to be.

I became the bachelor and now my family's a unit and it's all centered around me and because they're excited. When did you first learn that your mom had submitted an application? Where were you during that day and what are you thinking? I was at my computer training and she called me in the morning. I talked to my dad and my mom and I'm like, "Listen son, you never know what's gonna happen. You could find your wife." And I listened and then it led to this. The best advice I have for the next bachelor is, best advice I have is be yourself.

Welcome to In Search of Excellence, where I get to meet some of the most incredible, talented, successful, and interesting people in the world. My guest today is Grant Ellis. Grant is the star of the hit TV show, The Bachelor, which airs on ABC at 8 p.m. Grant, thanks for being here. Welcome to In Search of Excellence. Thanks for having me, man. It's an honor, man. I've seen some of the guests you've had. You're doing an amazing job. Thank you. All right, so we're going to start the show a little different, and I'm going to give you...

The first impression rose. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. I'm going to keep this in my back pocket for sure. Okay, there you go. I appreciate that, man. So when was the last time you got a rose? It was on The Bachelorette a few years ago. It was on The Bachelorette, yep. And then, you know, I was on there, got some roses, got dumped, and now I'm handing out the roses. So it's a difference, you know. That's awesome. We're going to go through a lot of lessons and life on the show, but I think one of the most important lessons in our life is taking advantage of the opportunities as they come.

So let's go through and tell us how, tell everyone how we met. Yeah. So it's crazy. I was staying at the London and I was walking to the hotel and I dropped my bag as the hotel was opening. And then you asked me if I needed help. And I was like, oh, I'm okay. And then you asked me, what am I doing? And I was, cause I told you I had a stylist. And then you were like, well, what do you have a stylist for? And I was like, well, I'm actually the bachelor on ABC. And then you introduced me to your podcast and

and your company and what you're doing. And, you know, we just hit it off, which was really, it was really exciting. And that just goes to show you that, you know, the right opportunity and networking and, you know, being likable is a really big part of business. Right. One of the things that I teach and coach is you got to do it now. So you got an opportunity, you're ready. Obviously, I've got a hit podcast. You meet all kinds of interesting people in LA. I was staying at the London Hotel.

The fires were raging everywhere. We evacuated. So I was with my family there. I think it was my seventh night there. And I was actually checking out. I mean, all my luggage was in the car. So I were here in my last 10 seconds of the show. I was getting on the elevator and here's this

Good looking, stylish dude. And, you know, here we are. Here we are. All right. So I always start my show with our family because our family helps shape who we are and our future. So start of the show, you introduced us to your mom, Renee.

Your dad and your sister Taylor. But I want to talk about your grandmother, Corinne, who is 83 years old. Yes, yes. So how important was she in your life and who you are today? And then talk about what happened after the show aired. Yeah, so my grandmother was a big part. You know, she's obviously, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her because she gave birth to my mother. But she also birthed a lot of children.

She instilled a lot of things in us that were really pivotal in my life. You know, she taught me patience. She taught me how to be kind. She taught me about my faith, you know, and when things get hard to pray. And that's something that she instilled in me. And then...

After the show, she actually passed away. So it was really big that I was able to give her my first impression rose and that's going to be something that's imprinted on me forever. Yeah, that was a great moment of the show and a great way to kick it off. I want to talk about some of your family struggles. Your dad worked a lot. He had drug addiction problems and you never ate dinner together as a family growing up. So what was that like when you were in a family of parents arguing and

How did that influence your future? I'm going to tell you one thing. It taught me how to be very focused and it taught me how to be very ambitious because the things that I lacked in my childhood, I wanted to make sure that when I grew up, I was able to supply all those things. So when my parents would argue about

or I'll be frustrated, I would take out my frustration on a craft, basketball. So every time, you know, I'll get frustrated, I'll go to the park. And it taught me how to deal with adversity through putting your efforts into something that's good for you instead of something that's negative. So

It forged me in a way, but there also was some negative effects. You know, I had to go through a period of my life where I was, I isolated myself, you know, because I felt like I had to do that until I could accomplish what I needed to accomplish. So there were some negative effects, but there also was a lot of positive things that came from it. And, you know, I learned a lot from my parents. I learned a lot, both good things and bad things, but that's, we're human. So that's part of it. You said your mission in life is to be the man your father wasn't. Right.

Right. And the powerful. It's powerful. And the man that he is, you know, he taught me where my dad was lacking. He had strength. He was very compassionate, very affectionate, very emotional. His father and the reason why he got into drugs was because his father passed away when he was 20 years old. My dad had a very successful business. He sold cars to Biggie Smalls, Eddie Murphy, the Wu-Tang Clan.

But being around that lifestyle, he adapted some negative habits. And but I tell you one thing, my emotional side and me being into my feelings, I get that from him.

You don't talk about on the show very much kind of what you're like from ages 3 to 13. So kind of fill us in. Were you a cool kid in school? Were you a jock? Popular with the girls? So from ages 3 to 13, I did band. What instruments did you play? Saxophone and clarinet. And then I...

Did a little bit of plays and things like that. My mom always put me in different things, whether it was kuman or it was, you know, playing the drums or... So that's where I get my musical side from. And I eventually found solace in basketball. So probably around the age of eight or nine. And that's where I really...

developed my love for the game and that's where I found my ability to take myself away from distractions and focus on that. When was the first time you had a ball in your hand? I remember I used to go downstairs and I used to dribble in our basement. This is back then when they had and one mixtape. It was like a street ball kind of thing and I used to watch that and I used to be so enamored by what the guys were doing on the show and that probably around the age of seven or eight when I picked it up. And you played the drums as well?

Played the drums, clarinet, saxophone, a little bit of piano, a little bit of everything. You know, music theory is something that I love. And yeah, just being all over the place, you know. You have a kit in your house growing up, a drum kit? I had a drum kit and then we had a piano and I used to play at the church a lot. So just messing around, nothing serious, you know.

I always wanted to play the drums. When I was 35 years old, I walked into Costco. And in college, I bought myself sticks and I'd blast. Rush is my favorite band. Neil Peart considered, before I passed away, one of the greatest drummers ever, if not the best. And I'd play on the drums. And, you know, you have a beer or two or whatever. You're playing so hard. I remember the wood splintering just going up in the air as I'm playing the drums. But at 35 years old, went in, taught myself how. And my drum set is a little weird.

It was in my bedroom. Right. Okay. It was right next to the bed. We got a seven piece DW drum set right next to the bed with the big speakers, which is fun. You know, you got to do what you love. You got to do what you love. And you strike me as somebody who put that's at 35, you know, you push yourself to do new things and, you know, challenge your brain and challenge your mind. So that's something that's a big thing I admire. On your bio...

For the show, it says that you were a mama's boy. Yeah. And you love poetry. So what does it mean to be a mama's boy and who's your favorite poet? So to be a mama's boy, it just means my mom is really a source, a lot of my strength. And...

It just means that I admire her vulnerability and her strength and the strength that a woman has to push through difficult situations. You know, a lot of times you see women in positions where they really have to rely on their gut and how they feel and their intuition. So I really respect that for my mom. And, you know, you only get one mom. So, you know, obviously, you know, I'm going to have a wife and a family, but I'm always going to take care of my mom. And I'm always going to take care of my dad. That's something that...

I really look forward to. And you know, classical poetry, I, because rap and music is a form of poetry. So one of my favorite artists is Wale. You know, he is a poet, but he puts some music behind his words and he knows how to rhyme and put certain words in certain places to evoke emotion. So I really, Wale is not a poet, but he's an artist and I really enjoy listening to him. You write your own poetry?

I don't write, but like sometimes I'll just, you know, sometimes when I'm feeling I write lyrics to a song or if I'm feeling a certain way, uh, yeah, I'll, I'll do certain things like that. Where

We're going to talk about your new song later in the show. But do you have any favorite lyrics at all that you want to recite or, you know, a rap you want to recite right now? Come on, you can hit the rap right now. Okay, hit a rap. Okay, give me a word. Let me see if I can do something. Okay, podcast. Podcast. That's a difficult word. Okay, I'm on a podcast. I'm with Randall Kaplan and I'm in a podcast.

There's some drama on the show with the ladies. I told them to stop that. Because at times it gets hard. At times it gets difficult. But in the end, if we win, it's something that we could all admire, I guess. That's some poetry right there, I guess. It didn't really rhyme, but... Okay. All right. Let's talk about high school, education. You went to a Catholic school. Went to a Catholic school. I went to a public school at first, and then I went to St. Benedict's, which was...

In all boys, private school. It was a basketball school. We were actually number two in the country in basketball at that time. And then I transferred from there. When the coach left, I transferred to Hudson Catholic, which is a Catholic school. Great point average? So, listen, I was not always the best in school. I had like a 2.9. I was not. I wasn't really... I was always more on the creative side. And I didn't get into finance until I realized how important it was. I was always...

basketball. Basketball is how I'm going to make it because in the inner city, that's something that we all look up to. But when I realized how much, I was never taught that. When I realized how much finances played a role, I developed a love for it. And that's when I really put my study into that. And then you went on to three or four different colleges. Why the various schools? You know, basketball is a very political game and there's certain things that happen. I actually, my freshman year, I ended up getting sick

I had the red shirt and then I came into my sophomore year a little bit behind the eight ball. And then I transferred to an HBCU, Southern University in Louisiana. And I broke my fifth metatarsal in my foot. So I transferred there and I finished out my career at Albertus Magnus in Connecticut. Then you went to the Dominican Republic. And for those people who don't know that it's a basketball mecca,

The baseball is the most popular sport in the Dominican Republic. And then it comes basketball, football, which is soccer as well. But the league there is the Liga Nacional de Baloncesco. It's called the LMB, established in 2005. Six teams in the league. Yep.

You play three months a year. It's a tournament. So there's different tournaments all throughout the country. And a lot of guys that play in the G League or a lot of guys that had short stints in the NBA. I had a season there when I was with Josh Shelby. I don't know if he played with LeBron. And there's a couple. It's a really, you know, when you travel the world, we live in America. So all we know is NBA. But there's so basketball, such a global game that there's a lot of talent overseas. And it's very difficult. You know, it's very competitive.

And, you know, the difference between professional and college is when you're a professional, these guys are fighting to put food on the table. So, it's a lot more cutthroat over there. So, how much money are you making? And tell us about the school buses you're traveling in. It's not like luxury coaches where... So, some of the top teams, which is Metro, which is Metro's Leonis and the team I was on, I

They have really good buses, but the bottom teams are the teams with the low budget. So the guys over there that are the top guys, the Americans, they're making anywhere from like $12,000 to $10,000 a month. Rookie contract, I was only making like $2,500 a month when I came out of there. I had to work my way up. And the most that I made in Dominican Republic was...

My going in my third year I was making about eight grand a month over there for the three months and then I would come back home and then I would go back over to DR and then play another tournament And then come back home and then did a short Stint in Spain and then come back home. Spain is more of an eight month season So yeah, but there's guys over there that make good money if you're on the top team the top three teams if you're on the bottom teams

you're kind of fighting to go to a different country or get up to the top teams that are in there. Spanish is the native language there. So, and I know you speak a little bit, I know you're communicating with some of the women. Un poquito, un poquito, a little bit. Okay, un poquito. Where'd you learn Spanish?

My grandmother taught me a little bit of Spanish and from being in the country I know how to speak just certain foods, certain foods and how to get directions, you know, because you'll get lost over there and the locals over there if you don't know Spanish they'll try to nickel and dime you for, you know, try to get over on you so you have to learn pretty fast. You get hurt there, what was the injury? So I injured my shooting, I actually had surgery on this arm because when I went baseline and I dunked

and I cut my arm on the backboard. - So you're up there pretty high for cutting your arm on the backboard. - I was up there pretty high. I was up there pretty high and they, it was a small cut and they didn't clean it out properly. And it ended up developing into MRSA and it went undetected for a while.

And if I would have had that for another two or three weeks, it would have turned into sepsis and I would have had to get my arm amputated. So that was something that was really traumatic in my life. And that wasn't when I was like, you know what? I think I'm going to relax on basketball for a while because yeah, I wasn't, I had to get a, um, forget what it's called, but it's a medicine tool that they pump in your arm for an hour and a half every day. And I had to get a catheter. I think, believe that's what it's called. Put over, put over in your arm and, and

They place it like around this area over your heart and it pumped the medicine into your arm to kill the infection. So, you finished playing. You're not getting a $100 million contract in the NBA. No, no, no. Far from that. And you learned day trading. Was Josh Selby day trading? Is that how you learned the craft? No. So, I actually did the research myself, you know. Around that time, there was a big influx of knowledge around trading and people were getting into the markets online.

around the time of COVID. And my mentor who I learned from him, I found him on YouTube and I reached out to him and he decided to teach me something. His name is ICT, which that's his nickname. He goes by, but he's on YouTube and he was in the market for 30 years. And, you know, he has some very controversial opinions on the market. And, you know, I decided to look into him

And he ended up teaching me some algorithmic principles that go along with time and price in the market. And yeah, from there, I just studied and I've been doing it for about five years now. You're trading what's known as S&P futures. What is the S&P for those people who don't know? And what are futures for those people who don't know? Yeah. So the futures market is trading...

the stock market as a whole. So, you'll have the S&P, the NASDAQ, the Dow Jones, and it's different than options because there's no expiration date on your contract. So, go back a step. Okay. There's people who have no idea what we're talking about right now. Okay. So, let's, let me jump it down a little bit. Let's go. Yeah. So, basically, day trading and trading the S&Ps, you're trading some of the top companies in the United States.

as a whole. So the S&P is the backbone to the financial markets. What the S&P does, along with interest rates... Well, what is the S&P? The S&P is some of the best 500 companies that are in the United States. So it's a conglomerate of all the best companies in one, you know, which would be

Sometimes the Apple is in, the NASDAQ is under the S&P. They're all in a conglomerate. Okay. And so when people talk about the market, they're talking about the S&P 500, which again is something that most people don't know. And there's different ways. Like you could trade an individual stock, which would be Apple or Tesla or Amazon, or you could trade the S&P, which would be a conglomerate of all the companies in one.

So you went all in on this for three years and lost all your money. How much money did you have and how much did you lose? Well, I didn't lose everything, but I was pretty close. I didn't have good risk management and I was really eager. And, you know, when I started off, I didn't make a whole lot of money coming out. I had about $60,000 saved up from playing. And I decided to put some money into a

an account and trade that. What I should have done was trade demo, but I was really eager. Trade a demo account, which is not live funds to learn. But I was really eager and I lost a very, very good amount of my money to where I didn't have any cushion for a while because I put it all in on trading. There's a lot out there about

day trading and the stats show that 80 and 90% of all day traders lose their money, go out of business. Yes, correct. So when you're looking at your, what you're up to, was there a better option and did you,

understand the risk and say, do I really want to do this? I think that I definitely understood the risk, but I'm a little bit naive in a sense. I believe in myself a lot. You know, I believe in myself so much that I'll go on a show and never, never perform and do it, you know, and, or do something where, you know, I, that's how much I have self-belief in. And I, when I was taking my losses, I

I did get down on myself a lot. You know, it could be depressing, but I always knew that I was going to figure it out and find a way to make it work because trading, there's a whole bunch of different philosophies, but the main thing is discipline. Discipline and routine and structure. And doing the same thing every day over a period of time, small wins, they add up to a large sum over the course of five, ten years. So I knew that if I could get discipline down,

and my mental down that I could accomplish it. And I think that's why most people fail in trading because they don't have the discipline to withstand the losses that occur. Did you measure your return or have you measured your return in each year? Because when we think about money managers and managing our own capital, no one beats the market long-term, right? Warren Buffett is the only person who's beat over 30 years. And if you're not

working or seeing someone in Omaha, Nebraska, and you randomly meet into them, you're not going to find the next one. So have you measured your returns and what have their returns been year by year? So I don't really get into my returns because I am, you know, over a span of five to 10 years, if I could do five to 8% annually, I'll be really happy with that. And basically not beat the S&P, but just

go along with the S&P. Well, that's way under the S&P. The S&P average over the last 20 years is 10.4%. 10.4%. And it's tax efficient. So, you're now getting hit on the day trading. Yeah, the taxes. But if you can get access to more capital, the more capital you have, you don't have to have as large of returns. If I have access to $300,000 and I do 10% through the year, you know, that's $30,000. If I have access to $3 million,

And I do a 10% year. It's a lot more money. So the key is more capital. And then the way you beat taxes is you just allocate in different areas. There's ways to do it. And there's ways to not beat taxes, but to lessen the blow that they take on you. Are you a Warren Buffett fan? I am a Warren Buffett fan, but he traded a lot off of fundamentals. And I'm more of a technical guy. I believe...

and technicals along with fundamentals. But you have to respect anybody. That's the best to ever do it. So I have major respect for Warren Buffett. All right. He said, if you're not willing to hold a stock for 10 years, don't even think about holding it for 10 seconds. Yeah, but there's things that, you know, change. There's things that change ever since, you know,

20, 30 years ago, the market, 40, 50, even 50 years ago, the market is a digital market now. It's electronic and, you know, you could hold the stock for 10 years or you could read the charts and you could hold the stock for maybe a year or you could read the charts and you could try to hold the stock or hold the position for five minutes.

10 minutes. There's ways to reassert and characterize that the market has and not time it, but be able to ride the wave that order flow brings. So that's something that I really try, I pride myself on and I have the stats to back it up. I work with the top proprietary firm in the country, which is Topstep. And I've been with them for about two years. And my plan is over

five years, five to seven years to have consistent returns and then bring my portfolio to a manager and say this is what I've done and then request more capital. And that's where things get really interesting.

Do you trade in Bitcoin? Do you think it's a good investment? And do you have any predictions on where it's going to be five years from now? I don't touch crypto. I don't touch crypto. I stick strictly with the S&P 500. I think that's the smartest move. I think crypto is a way to make money fast. But when you get in that mentality of making fast money, then you start gambling. So I would much rather...

have a larger pool of capital and just take small pieces and just build that up over a loan. So, I don't touch crypto. I don't know. I couldn't even tell you where it's trading at right now. You know, what's so interesting to me is you think that's gambling, but day trading is not gambling. But if you look at all the pundits, everyone says day trading is gambling. Humans are interesting, you know? They will...

ride a wave or everybody, I think you can't speak on day trading unless you have skin in the game more than three to five years. Then you could tell me it's gambling. If you go in there and you try it for three months or a year and you lose a bunch of money, you're going to be like, oh, this is gambling. But if you go in there and you do it over and over again and you take your lumps and you get back up, you'll see that there's a way to not beat the market, but you could

get consistent returns over a long period of time and be financially stable enough and develop a game plan to where if you could acquire more capital, you could make some really, really good money. So, you've been day trading now six or seven years.

What's a professional dream? So, you know, to start a hedge fund is probably my number one goal. Like, obviously, the opportunities that come with being a bachelor are great, you know, but I'm not really an influencer. I put so much effort into trading and so much of my skin and so much of my mental into the game that I'm never going to stop. I want to be the best. And I think that's something that

I'll never stop doing. So, yeah, to start a hedge fund and to be able to, you know, tell former athletes how to invest their money. I think that's something I really, really enjoy to enjoy. So a lot of the listeners and viewers to the show have no idea what a hedge fund is. So can you tell everyone what it is and the economics of it and how hedge fund managers make money? Yeah. So a hedge fund is basically just you're acquiring money.

pools of liquidity or pools of money, and you're telling your investors where to allocate their money. And you'll just charge a commission or fee for the deal. So if I give you a 10% return on your investment, I will just charge a fee for that. And like I said, the way you make money is in the numbers game. The more

um, money that I have, the more investors I have, the more money that I'll be able to make on the returns that I am able to allocate for each investment. And tell people how the fee structure two and 20 works for the hedge fund manager and how all these hedge fund managers become rich. Yeah. Like I said, it's just for, it's a numbers game, you know, for, for me, it would be a numbers game in terms of, uh, how I'm going to charge and how I'm going to, uh,

allocate my different funds. But yeah, that's something that I have in the works now. And yeah, I'm still a good three to four years off from really structuring that. The term hedge fund was originally coined because a hedge was a non-correlated class to the market. Right. To hedge your bet. Right. So today it's a misnomer because you have all these...

funds who basically do the same thing as a mutual fund. So instead of paying a 2% fee each year and 20% of the profits, you can buy a mutual fund where the average expense ratio, how much it costs to run the fund, is 1%. Crazy, but if you can get the 2 in 20 model for doing the same thing as the 1%, you'd rather have the 2 in 20 model. You'd rather have that. Yeah. And I think there's... You know, with hedging, there's so many...

different ways to do it and there's so many different models to have. So, finding one that you feel best suits you is really important. I think so much of what we do professionally is our mental state and how we go into it but we love to read books as well to see how we learn is one way to learn. So, your favorite book is "The Psychology of Money".

Talk to us about what you learned from that book and you still practice those each day and say, oh gosh, I'm having a shitty trading day. Got to go back to the book and got to help it bring me in a little bit. Yeah, 100%. I think the main thing that I learned from that and the psychology aspect was just that trading is not a short-term game. It's a long-term game. And if you could master that concept

stack your wins and master yourself in the psychological aspect you'll be able to get those returns so that that book was very pivotal in my learning and trading in the markets because at a certain time I was rushing I was impatient I was greedy and Because the market it plays tricks on your mental, you know when there's an infinite amount of money in the market and you're telling me if I just hit one trade I could make this much of this much and

You get lost. You have to, like I said, you have to take small pieces. So that's where that book helped me and kind of turned the corner for me. Let's talk about relationships now. We're going to spend a lot of time talking about it. How old were you when you had your first crush on a girl? What was her name and did you do anything? Man, I was pretty young. I watched the movie Love Don't Cost a Thing with Nick Cannon and Christina Milian. And that's when I had my first crush. I don't remember how old I was, but I know...

I wasn't old enough to drive or have a beer, I'll tell you that much, so I was pretty young. My first crush, kindergarten, first grade, Jill Blade.

I remember so pretty. I stuttered so I wasn't the cool kid and this guy Todd Fink was in our class could draw all of these battleships. Okay. It was great so I tried to say okay well if I can learn from Todd who was my best friend back then I could draw these battleships. Right. Maybe Jill will even give me the time of day and she'll talk to me. Right, right. Did you learn how to how to draw the ships? I mean I was like a C. Okay. You know Todd's like a A++. Okay, okay. Yeah. That's what he meant.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? Man, this is going to sound crazy, but I remember my first kiss was, it was like a playful thing. It was during nap time. It was like, honestly, in kindergarten. And I gave this girl a kiss on the cheek. I remember we were, you know, because we had nap time. I went to a school called Good Shepherd Christian Academy.

And we were having our nap time and I got up and I remember I gave her like a teddy bear and I kissed her on the cheek. And that was my first kiss that I ever had. All right. Not counting that one. Not counting that one. That one doesn't count. Lip to lip kiss. How old were you? Maybe like 12 or 13, maybe in that range, you know. I don't really remember that far into it. I remember that.

They're kindergarten, but I don't remember like my first actual, my first actual kiss like that. Are you comfortable sharing first time you were intimate with another woman? So a lot of my high school career, I focus on basketball. You know, I remember I always, probably like late teens, honestly, late teens, you know, and then going into college. Not going to ask you her first name, by the way. Yeah, I don't, I'm not going to name her. And then going into college, I met a wonderful woman.

And we ended up getting into a really serious relationship. And that was my first relationship. It ended up being seven years. And that taught me a lot about what love is. And that is more than just a word. It's an action. And taught me a lot of things about myself that I needed to work on. You broke up a lot. You know, you're on, you're off, you're on, you're off. I see so many people staying too long in a relationship...

When is the right point where someone should say, this isn't working, I have an investment in for years and it's time to just move on? I say there's two factors. A, when you start to lose yourself, when you start to negate your goals and your priorities. And then two or B would be when you start to, it's good to prioritize somebody, right? But when you start to let go of your interests and lose yourself in that relationship, I think that it's time to

leave and find yourself, you know? You have to be able to find the balance of being yourself and letting your partner be themselves and being in union where you guys are both able to have fun, be yourself, but be in love, you know? So, yeah, when you start to lose yourself, I would say. There's a moment on the second

show of the Bachelor this season where all these women are waiting around, they're in the mansion when this tall, good-looking woman runs in. All the women are like, oh my God, oh my God, is that the ex-girlfriend? That's my sister. That was your sister. She's a model. She's a model. And you guys are tight? Yeah, we're super close, man. It's crazy because we're different but we're the same in a lot of ways and I think the one thing that we bond over is our childhood. We both went through the same things together. So,

We have our differences, but the one thing that we always are locked in over is what we went through and how it forged our personalities into the adults we are today. One of the reasons why we're here is because...

want to promote the show, you want to give your sister a plug, what you're working on and, you know, just give her a shout out. Yeah. Shout out to you, sis. I love you. You know, keep doing your thing. She actually just went to Paris Fashion Week. So I hope she brought me back some, some drip, you know, I would like that. Okay. There you go. I'm sure right now you can get your own drip. Yeah, I could get it. I really don't think you need your sister for your drip. I don't, I don't. But you know, listen, Paris Fashion Week is a dope, a dope weekend. Are people now, uh,

sending you free shit? Like, are you getting people just sending it to your publicist or ABC and everyone's just like, okay, man, I want Grant to wear this. Want to wear it on the show or? Well, you know, we filmed the show prior, but people do send stuff, you know, and obviously, you know, it's a business, you know, but I enjoy seeing, you know, what the companies are sending it. Like I said, I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying getting free stuff. You know, it's the first time that I've ever been

have anything set to me free, you know. It's cool. Some people have sent me some cool stuff just for my show. They know I love the shoes, I'm into the kicks. Got some pickleball rackets too. Right, right, right. Selkirk hula. I've had the number one player men and women on my show too. So, it's kind of cool. Yeah, it's super cool, man. It's super cool. Yeah. So, after seven years, you dated a woman for one and a half years and then you went on the apps. Yeah. So, what apps were you on and how did that go?

Yeah, I, so, you know, I was, I did, so after the seven and a half year relationship, I was single for a long time because I really put everything into that relationship. And I tried, you know, hinge, I tried, but it's just wasn't me. You know, I think that... Okay, so you're on hinge. Hinge, yeah. Hinge is like for people that... You're throwing your picture up there. Yeah, yeah. Hinge is for people that are looking for like, like relationship. But, you know, a lot of times...

things don't work out. And then for me, I'm more of like an in-person guy. I want to sit down and have a conversation in person because it's different. So, did that for a while. Didn't really go on any dates from it. And then, you know, I was... No dates from now? I didn't, you know, I wasn't really into it. You know, I was at a point in my life where I was focusing on career. Career, career, career. Like, life, career, and taking care of my family. And I, it took me about

It took me a good year to really get over, to get over heartbreak. It took me a long time. And I knew that I wasn't going to get over it by just replacing it with somebody else because I was going to take bad habits and bring it to the next person. So I just, I really tried to work on myself and I really dug into my faith. And that's kind of what got me through that. Got me through that time, you know, being alone, uh,

Because it got lonely, you know, I'll come home alone and, you know, I spend time, you know, with my sister's dog. He's Diesel. What kind of dog? He's like a miniature palm tree, kind of like a mix, you know. He's bad, though. He's a little, he's a bad dog. He's a good dog, but he's like, he's a little brat. But yeah, that, my faith really got me through that. And my faith really got me through a lot of hard times in my life with my father's addiction and with me getting sick and almost losing my arm.

And, you know, because you could be up one minute and then you never know when you're going to get sick or you never know when people are going to turn on you. But the one thing I found out is that I'm never I could always pray. And because life is unpredictable, man, like right now, I'm 31. I'm in shape. You know, I carry myself well. I have my stuff together. But who knows? You know, who knows what's going to happen and who knows what's

You could love somebody with all your heart. That's the main thing I learned from my last relationship. You could think somebody is your world, married, your parents, but they're going to let you down at one point. The thing that's never going to let you down is God. He's never going to let you down. He's always going to have your back. Look what just happened with the fires in LA. People work their whole life and they build up these material things which are good,

But you can't take those with you when you die. So, yeah, I think that's what really made me sit and say, you know what, let me wait and not rush into another relationship because I'm going to put my heart in there. And then if I get hurt again, I don't know how many of those I could take. You know, I don't know how many of those I could take before I start to really doubt myself. And I'm a pretty confident guy, you know, so, yeah.

And I got a call, you know, to, you know, my mom is always praying for me. She's actually a chaplain. So she, I don't know what got into her to sign me up for the bachelorette, but she signed me up and here I am today. Do you go to church on a regular basis? I don't. I don't go to church on a regular basis. I'm not overly religious. You know, I like...

music. You know, I have drinks here and there. You even see me on a show. I'm kissing and I'm dating. And, you know, I know that nobody's perfect. You don't have to go to church every week. You know, you don't have to go to church every week. But the main thing I try to do is I try to read my word because that's how when I'm confused and I don't know what to do, that's where my foundation comes from. And like I said, you know, nobody's perfect. I think that

That's one thing that people have to realize that the way that you get through to people is by you just love them. You know, you love people, you be there for them and you don't judge people because

You know, you could be sitting there looking at somebody, oh, this person's doing that and that, but you got your own demons that you're fighting too. So that's what helped me forgive my dad, honestly. What's your favorite drink? You mentioned... I'm a Hennessy guy. I love a nice Hennessy on the rocks. It's like my go-to drink of choice. I know I'm getting old, man. I just love Hennessy. I don't know why. So you mentioned you're confident, and we see that on the show, but you're not cocky either, and I think there's a fine line there. When you were single...

Were you one of these guys that could just kind of slither up to a woman and ask her out, no problem? Or were you nervous when you just go up to some strange woman? No, I don't, I don't ever get nervous. You know, I know I have that. Never. When, when you were younger and you just would walk up to some girl. No, I don't, I don't get nervous. Um, I think that because I was raised around women, I, you know, I know how to talk to women and I don't have the, I don't always have to have the intention of I'm going to try to, you know, and I think that,

you know, having the ability to do that, but not doing that, it, it, it definitely forges character and, and, and it brings character because, you know, when you, when you do that, not to say you're taking advantage, but you're using, you know, something that you have to get what you want, which is not always the, is not the best thing to do. So I try to, you know, I, I know that I had that ability to do that, but I, I hold back because I know one thing I do know is that being in a relationship, it, um,

For me, it brings stability. It helps me in my life, helps me in my pursuits and my business and having somebody that's there for you because you could have a vibe or connection with 50,000 people, but having somebody that's going to stick with you when you're down and out, that's what I want. You know, I don't want to just have meaningless connections. Our confidence grows as we get older and are more successful. But when I think back to

My teens and my college years, we'd have to throw down some brewskis to have the courage to go up to a woman. Right. And I had a pickup line. You know, we're saying, okay, what do you, what's a good pickup line? And I determined the best one was, are those your shoes? All right, all right.

Hey, listen, that's a conversation starter. It's a conversation starter. Yeah, yeah. You're like, what? What are you talking about? And it's weird. Right. But it's funny. It's funny, yeah. You never know what's going to work. I don't really have any pickup lines. I never went in there with like a pickup line. I just make conversation. And then you want a drink? You know, like, what's your favorite drink? I'll get it for you. Don't worry about it, you know? And that's a conversation starter. All right. We're leading up to The Bachelor, but it started with The Bachelorette.

You were on season 21. And how did that come about? Yeah, my mom signed me up. For The Bachelorette as well? So in order to become The Bachelor, you have to be on The Bachelorette. Right, so I'm talking about The Bachelorette. How did The Bachelorette come about? Yeah, my mom signed me up for The Bachelorette. For that too? No, I'm saying you don't sign up for The Bachelor. I see. Yeah, in order to be The Bachelor, you have to first...

be on The Bachelorette. So, my mom saw The Bachelorette or she saw the first Golden Bachelor and she signed me up for The Bachelorette, which was the next season. Right. Yeah, The Golden Bachelor was last year. Was Gary, yeah. That was the first season. 72-year-old man. Mm-hmm. Retired. Retired, yep. Marriage lasted three months. Yep. And listen, everybody's relationship is different, you know? Yeah.

Things happen differently, you know, some people fall off, some people stay strong and everybody's at different points in their life. So, Jen Tran was the bachelorette. Right. And you were sent home, I think, with five people to go. Right. You cried. Yes, I did. I was a little baby right there. Why do you view that as a baby? You know, honestly, I think vulnerability is...

important, honestly. And, you know, people may look at that and like, you just met this woman. But when you go on there, I just, I just got off. I just got out of a seven year relationship. I just spent a whole year and changed me and single. And then I went on to a dating show where, you know, it's, it's a nationally televised thing. So when that happened, uh, you know, I was a little bit in my feelings and, you know, I like, I, I'm going to say I am an emotional guy, but I'm also strong.

And I also carry myself with strength and integrity and dignity. But I'm not afraid to, you know, show my feelings. Not too much. But when I do, it means something to me. You know, something that really evokes emotion in me is my relationship with my dad or my faith. Those are two things that really, when I talk about them, I get a little emotional because I know how much that means to me. And I think in that situation, it was just,

a culmination of everything and it just, yeah, it just happened. Why are so many men afraid to cry and show their emotions? I've cried on my show many times. I think people here will tell you that. I've had a large number of my guests cry on my show, but it's something that we try to hold in because it's not macho. I think that a lot of men try to come off as, you know, like strong and which is good to have strength. I think that I've been around athletes my whole life and it's very like

Macho and and you know, but I think the I think the bravest thing you could do I think the most manly thing you could do is number one is sacrifice and

And then number two, to be in touch with your emotions and be able to, yeah, I'll cry. But, you know, if you disrespect me, I'm going to let you know. And I'm not going to take I'm not going to take any disrespect. But I'm also going to, you know, be in touch with my feelings because that gives you empathy. You know, when you have a daughter one day, I bet you're going to cry. You know, I bet you're going to be. So it's like it's OK to cry. But there's a time and a place for it. And there's a time and a place to be strong. You just have to learn.

Timing. You ever pull up to a stop sign or a light when you're in your car? You got a fancy car and we're going to talk about your Ferrari in a minute. So people are looking at your car. They're like, dude, man, I've got a Tesla plaid. They sit there and you're like, all right, we're going to see who's faster. All right. So even if you're not willing to race, you're not even thinking about it. Some guy floors it.

Our competitive instinct kicks in, right? You hit it, don't you? Right out of the gate? I'm really careful with my... I'm really careful. I'm a bit of a... When it comes to that, I'm a bit of a stickler. But I think in terms of like...

guys being competitive. Guys are really, you know, you ever been in a gym and you're benching and somebody tries to bench more than you or you're on the boxing bag and guys try to like, you know, they try to see, they try to measure up. I think it's just in our DNA for whatever reason. It's just part of our nature and it's healthy, but

there's a bit of it that's toxic too. Yeah. And then when you're on the bachelorette, right, you're sitting there and you got a bunch of good looking, great guys there. Isn't the competition, even if you're not in it at this point to find your spouse, you're looking around and man, like, I just want to win. I didn't, that didn't really cross my mind for me. Winning was like, cause I don't look at it like I'm winning. You know, I was just trying to

form a connection with somebody. And... Yeah, but there is that human element. I mean, you see it on the show, right? I think the main... Where that comes in is night one, when you meet all the guys and everybody's talking about their jobs and this and that. And yeah, there's a little bit of like chest poking out. But me, I'm like, I try to... I stay quiet. You know, I stay quiet because I think that the strongest men are the ones that are silent. You know, if you ever...

study martial arts or boxing, it's like you have a guy come into the gym and they try to act all tough. But the guys that are really serious, they don't really talk much because they know what they're capable of. So I just, I stay kind of silent. I don't like, but there's a lot of that. There's a lot of chitter chatter going on, especially night one. You look at countries like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, India, arranged marriages are the norm. So someone sets you up, your parent, and you're saying you are married.

that person, you have no choice. You've never met them, you've never slept with them, you don't know anything about them. Isn't the bachelor and bachelorette kind of the same thing? Here's 25 people and you're really, they're preordained, you're going to find somebody and it's going to be one of the 25. Yeah, I mean, that's an interesting way to look at it but it, you know, sometimes people hit it off, you know. Sometimes you really, you find your person and

I think that it's all about where you're at in your life. If you're really ready for a relationship and you find somebody that you like, you're gonna make it work, you know? 'Cause there's always gonna be more out there, you know? There's always gonna be another... If you're a woman, there's always gonna be another handsome guy or another guy with more money or another famous guy. If you're a man, there's always gonna be a beautiful woman out there. But if you find somebody that you can have a relationship with and be your best friend, that's irreplaceable. So I feel like if you can develop that on the show,

It works. So, The Bachelor started in 2002. It's a hit show. We're in season 29 right now. When did you first learn that your mom had submitted an application? Where were you during that day and what are you thinking? I was at my computer training and she called me in the morning

And at first I, you know, because in order to go on the show, you gotta freeze your accounts and then you gotta be away from the market for three months. And I was in a groove and I was like, man, but then I talked to my dad and my mom and like, listen, son, like you never know what's gonna happen. You can find your wife and you know, we see how focused you are. You need to take a break and you need to just, you need to do this. So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna listen. And I listened and then it led to this. He said two things. He said, I wanna find my future wife.

And it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. What's the opportunity? That in itself, finding your partner, you know, finding your partner. But there's also, there's also, you go on the show to find your person. But, you know, it's inevitable that things come from it. You know, there's a whole bunch of things that come from it. But you have to keep your relationship alive.

uh, your relationship, are you looking for a relationship of priority? Because people could sense, um, when you're not genuine. You have to be genuine. You have to be yourself. You have to be there to look for it, you know? So, yeah, I think that's the main opportunity. And then it puts you in a different position. You know, my dad, who was, um,

in rehab, he's now working at a sober home in New York that was facilitated through somebody that saw me on the show and reached out and then things happened and now he's working in New York City, you know, teaching and speaking for people that with addiction. So those are the things and it's brought, you know, when my grandmother passed away, my family was divided. I became the bachelor and now my family is a unit and it's all centered around me and because they're excited.

And, you know, so people that haven't talked in three years are talking to each other now. So those are some of the opportunities that come with it. It's not only monetary. It's also opportunities with relationships and family life and just growing and this journey that we live in life. But you have to be considering...

Before you're on the show, hey, good things are going to happen to me. Were you thinking about that? And what are some of the good things that are happening to you now, now that the show is filmed? Yeah, that's inevitable. You know, listen, I went to the NASDAQ. I met, I watched the company have their IPO. That's so cool, by the way. That's what I'm saying. The Bowery.

Everybody's going crazy. I'm like, I watch this market fluctuate every day. So those are some of the things like you, I didn't think about that in the future, but when, you know, the press run, when these opportunities or these things are coming, I'm like, wow, you know, this is an opportunity for me to really make connections and, you know, show them that and gain some respect as, as a trader, people like, I think that a platform to show people and transparency is,

to show people that it's possible to do this and to be transparent and, you know, I think that's a really big opportunity there. So, that's something that in itself that

that I would like to pursue. Did you want to be famous when you were a kid? And do you want to be famous now? I don't think, I think that fame is, you know, a gift and a curse. I think that, you know, people are in your business. People always have opinions about you. I think that there's a solace that comes with

being kind of private. I was a very private person before this. I mean, my Instagram had one profile picture. So, but I always knew I had, you know, I always knew I was talented. You know, I could dance, I could do certain things. And I think it's just good to put it out there, you know, just be yourself, be authentic. And I'm not, I've never searched for fame, never will, you know what I'm saying? But I think that influence is a good way to point people in the right direction. How many,

interviews did you have to have to actually be on the show and who's interviewing you? You have to - you go through - there's a process that you go through.

To be on the show, to be interviewed, you go through like three interviews, three or four interviews. What level are we talking about? The president of ABC finally getting in there or someone a little lower down on the...

There's a hierarchy that you go through. So you meet some really cool people and, you know, they just assess your character and they assess... You know, because it's one thing to fall in love, but, you know, when you're nationally televised, you have to... People want to...

You have to have the ability for people to want to watch you fall in love, you know, or watch your story or be interested or invested. So I think that's just part of the interviewing process. These are one-on-one interviews. And how many are there? And what's the length of time that this process is going on?

Some of them are via Zoom. Some of them are in person. But I would say it's about a month. And do they tell you, all right, you passed the first round, the second round, and now there's five and you're a finalist and are you going home worrying, man, I got to compete with five other people? No, no, no. It's very much...

Call, you know, we like you call. Okay, you're gonna be on call. Okay pack your bags You're leaving in you know, I'm saying you're leaving here and there you're leaving in two weeks, you know, so it's two weeks I don't have a specific time period but that's just yeah, but it's it's it but how long before you get it Do you start the show? Is it two weeks? You got a yeah About a probably about a month anywhere between three weeks, you know and that range a month three weeks range So who called you actually called you and say hey grant? I

You're it. Sometimes, you know, I have a really, you know, I have a really, really close relationship with some of the EPs and it's, you know, the EP is that call. What kind of preparation is involved for the show? Do you take public speaking? I mean, you're a very articulate, well-spoken person, but there has to be some awkwardness in front of the camera following you around. I mean, you did it on The Bachelorette.

but I'm new to the podcast. Well, I'm not new to the podcasting world, but I'm new to holding the camera in front of my face. It's awkward. I feel very silly. Instagram live. I feel silly. You doing training for the show? I never really, I think that just press from playing basketball, I was able to like, I know how to speak, but I'll tell you the most awkward thing is when I'm like,

having to document my life. Like, you know, you go in a restaurant, like, oh, me eating my food or I never, I never was really into that. So that's probably the most awkward thing for me. But in terms of speaking, I don't really,

I don't know. I just, I don't really struggle with that. I think talking slow is a big thing or being able to formulate your words. I don't, I never really had any training on it. When you're on the show and they're filming a restaurant scene, I noticed sometimes you got the whole place to yourself, but are you walking in with a camera crew to a restaurant or a crowded place? And it's awkward. Everyone's looking at you and it's just like,

Hard to just not be embarrassed. Yeah, that's awkward. But the most awkward part is when you're having a really intimate moment with somebody and, you know, you're engaged in a kiss and you know that it's the cameras there. That's probably that's probably the most awkward moment. And then, too, you know, on the show,

you know, they do such a good job. They want all the important moments to be, to happen and to be seen. So, if you're in private, you know, and you're saying all of the things that, you know, they want, you know, the people, the story has to be told. So, just having those moments caught on camera, I think that's probably, there's a bit of awkwardness to it but, you know, somebody got to do it. So, 25 contestants on the show, ages 21 to 31, various professions. You got a venture capitalist, you've got a

influencer who brought her llama into the show, which is the weirdest thing ever but makes for good TV. Do you see the bios of the women on the show before you get there? No, no. Nothing about them? Nothing. You know nothing. The first time that you meet the lovely ladies there, it's night one. Meet them night one, they pull up to a limo for those people who haven't seen the show. You hop out the limo and then you stand there and then you wait for - you

You wait for all the ladies to come in with their entrance and that's where there's nerves. They all do some like funky stuff. Yeah. Like someone brought you a crystal basketball and you know, some of this stuff is like, okay, come on. Right, right. But they put a lot of thought into it. What was your favorite one? I think I'm an animal lover. So, I like, I love the llama. You know, I'm happy I didn't get spit on. I'm happy that that didn't happen. But I'm an animal lover, man. I love animals.

So that was probably one of my most favorite entrances. And that was the first row, the first solo date? Yeah, the first row was the first solo date, yep. When you were single, did you date multiple women at the same time? Never. I never. I am a one relationship type of guy. Like, you know, I like commitment. I like the stability that comes with that. And it's a lot of, you know, I trade. So I'm already emotionally like, it's stressful. So it's a high stressful situation when you have to

sort things out and deal with different personalities and remember certain things. And it's very difficult. You're kissing multiple women on the same night, we're back to back to back, touching them, hugging them, you know, feeling a little bit, a little tushy action on a couple of these. I mean, it's hard to do. How do you actually focus and get to know

who you want to be with when there's 25 people that you're kissing? I think that physical chemistry is a big part, you know, like I said, I had been single for a while so I was ready, you know, to really find my person and I feel like, you know, you could tell a lot about a person, you know, some people are going to say you're kissing too many people but listen, I'm dating. I'm dating and this is the way that I went about it. It's a lot of kissing though. It's a lot, it is a lot of kissing and to be public but, you know, if you don't have the chemistry with somebody,

And you have to make a decision in such a short amount of time. That's one way to figure it out, you know? Okay, is there chemistry there? And then we could build on a friendship and see if it's there. There's different kinds of kissers. Some you got the chemistry, some you don't have the chemistry. I mean, we're not going to get into who's who. But do you ever kiss one of the women and you're like, yuck?

No, I was never like, yuck. I think that all the ladies were, they were really amazing, you know. They're all good kissers. They were all good kissers, you know. They were all good kissers. We all had fresh breath. We all were on point, you know. Taking the mints before. Because the night is long and, you know, you're drinking and I'm giving speeches and I'm talking. So I had some mints. I had some Tic Tacs on deck. When I was single, I could tell if I was sexually attracted to someone in a millisecond. Right.

Isn't that the case for you? I mean, you've got all these women. I mean, I could tell on the show, you introduced a woman, I saw it. And I guessed where we were going to be and I was like 75% right.

Is Grant going to like these girls based on their physical appearance? Right. Didn't you know in a millisecond who you'd be interested in? Yeah, it's interesting because the audience could tell better than I could tell. You know, I was in this place where I... Because I know that there's two ways in a relationship. There's a spark and there's a slow burn. So it's like...

You could think that you're not, you know, you could be on a scale of one to 10, you could be attracted to somebody, maybe like a six and a range of not, not their attractiveness, but how, how much you're attracted to them. And then you could talk to them and be like, Oh, like this person makes me laugh or, Oh, like this person has their own unique. And then that attraction could grow. So, and then you could be a really attractive somebody off the rip. And then you find out that there's not much depth there. So, or there's not much depth in your relationship. So yeah, attraction is a spectrum. And it's, it's, it's for me,

All the women were beautiful, but there's some that made me laugh more. There's some that, you know, the chemistry was there more. And there's some that the kiss was there more. So it's all up for the moment. One of the most common questions about the show is...

At the end of the show, there's three finalists left. You go into the fantasy suite. You're spending a night with these women. So one of the questions is, are you having sex on multiple nights with all three women? Yeah, I tried to, you know, I kissed a lot, but I handled myself the way and fantasy suites the way that I would want. But I had a daughter the way I want her to be treated. So I didn't.

You know, I'm not going to divulge anything, but I handle myself with respect and I treat the woman with respect. So that's the main thing. I can't imagine. It must be mental torture. You're one of three finalists on the show. You know that Grant is going into the fantasy suite and the worst things are going through your mind. That Grant is having sex with this woman and that woman and that woman. That just must be an absolute killer for these women. Yeah, I think so. I think that is definitely...

a deal breaker in a relationship because sex is something that is really important and if you know that the person with his experience and that with other people it could ruin the whole relationship. So I definitely tried to keep that in mind and that was a focal point in how I was thinking

And you know, you try to do this thing to make the relationship if there is one to make it last after the show So the show stopped filming in October. Mm-hmm And the final is gonna be in March. We're not gonna tell people the date ABC is gonna make it big thing Here's the finale. So you got five months between the winner whatever happens We're not gonna spoil that either what happens but you're either and get you're probably engaged in

to the woman, the winner, you got five months but you gotta hide out. Are you doing a little sneaky sneaky going through the window so you guys can still see each other during these five months? Well, if there is an engagement, there's a way that ABC handles it, you know, they keep us - Secret tunnels under the - Yeah, maybe some secret tunnels, maybe some things of that nature but they keep us happy if there is somebody, you know, and I know through - you know, I talked to Joey

you know, he told me the process and Joey Graziadate, the last bachelor. So he told me and I really learned through that experience. So, you know, can't divulge if there is or is one, but I know they're just to tell you that, you know, I learned through them and there is a process that we go through. When we're thinking about relationships and what makes them successful, let's talk about some of those things. Do professions matter? And do you want your wife to work full time?

Before and after you have kids. And the same to you. If your wife is a breadwinner, if your wife is the breadwinner and you want to stay home with the kids, what are you thinking? Yeah, so this is an area that I'm not that knowledgeable on because, you know, my whole life I've been like, I'm going to be the one. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that because that's what I had to do. So, but I do know whatever my wife wants to do, she wants to work full time, she can't.

If she doesn't, we're going to be fine either way. So whatever makes her happy, I think that's the direction I'm going to go. And yeah, but listen, I haven't supported a family yet. I've been able to help my mom, help my dad, help take care of them, take care of myself. But I know when you have kids, your lifestyle changes and you have to really plan for that. So I'm not there and I'm not that knowledgeable in that area. But I would like to say now that

I think that I would be able to support whatever my wife wants to do. If she wants to work full time, if she doesn't, she's free to do whatever she wants. I got married to my amazing wife, Madison, or beneath the chuppah, which is where Jewish people get married. And he said the three things

The two most important words in a relationship is "I'm sorry". I think that you could correlate that to sacrifice. I'm sorry, sacrifice, they're synonymous, they're like basically, you know, in order to - in order to, you know, say I'm sorry even if you feel like you're right, you gotta be like, you know what?

Maybe, you know, for the sake of the relationship, maybe I'll, you know, I'll apologize. And sometimes you don't want to sleep in the same room. You got to, you know, you got to, or you don't want to talk. You got to, you got to sacrifice. One of the most important aspects of a relationship and a marriage is being on the same page with money.

So I've seen it lots of different ways. You know, the man comes in with money or the woman comes in with money. Sometimes the partners will talk to one another and here's what I have. Here's what I have. You want to be on the same page. Some don't. It's secret. What's your view on that? Are you and your future wife going to say, OK, we're going to lay it out?

money-wise, here's what we have so you can plan for your future? Or do you plan on saying, hey, this is mine, this is yours, and what we build together, we build together? Yeah, I think there's, you know, there's a world where you have maybe a joint account and there's a world where you have your own finances, you know, whatever she's making from what she brings in, she keeps that

whatever I'm making from what I bring, I keep that. But then I also could allocate, you know, maybe 10% a month or 5% a month we put into a joint account. And that would be for maybe future kids or down payment on a house or something like that. So, like I said, can't lose yourself in a relationship. And I've seen situations where women that I know, they, you know, allow the man to be the breadwinner and then he decides to get up and leave and then she doesn't have anything. So she has to always think

you know, put yourself first, even though, you know, you have to put your partner, but in terms of finance, you have to have your own safety net. Never rely on somebody else for, to take care of you. Million percent. Are you good with money? Listen, I am a trader. I'm not the best. I have to learn money management in terms of spending. You know, I know how to make money, but 90% of the game is keeping it, you know, and being able to, being able to grow it. So,

I've made some, I've spent some money. Um, but as I grow older, I think that my really, when I'll be really frugal and plan is when I'm planning to have a family and I'm planning to, now that I'm stepping into, uh, uh, having to, you know, everything in my life I've done

up until this point for my mom and dad and myself really, you know, I've never had to provide for kids or provide for a wife, you know. My last relationship I provided but it was like now that I'm stepping into this area of my life, that's an area that I'm really going to work on is planning more in terms of spending. There are 50 to 100 Ferrari sold in Houston every year.

You have a Ferrari F8 Spyder where the retail price of that car is $324,738. Is that responsible? No, it's not responsible. It's not responsible. That's what I said. I'm not the, I, you know, coming from where I come from and some of the things that I've been through, it's like as a young black man, when you get some money, you want to be like, I made it, you know? And I think that

I learned from that and I think that that's why I don't wear chains like that. I don't wear really expensive pieces. I'd normally just dress really modest. You know, I might have some fly kicks like you or have some nice purchases. But yeah, it's not the best purchase. But, you know, it's something that I wanted and something that comes from hard work. And I think that I'm happy. I'm happy, you know. So when I got...

I divorced many years ago. You know, I had three young kids, six, six and four. We had a minivan. It was black Toyota Sienna. It was scratched, indented. But that was my daily car. Not the coolest car in the world. Right.

So I bought myself a four-door Maserati Quattroporte, which was awesome. That became my daily car when I wasn't with the kids. And a lot of yip-yap in the community saying that the nice car was trying to compensate for something I lacked physically. People are going to talk, man. That's one thing I'm learning. It doesn't matter which. Can we name what that is on the show? Can we call it what it is? What do you mean? They call it a small penis car. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Trying to compensate for your lack of endowment. Right, right, right. I mean, I don't have any issues in that area, but I will say that people are always going to talk. People are going to talk. Whether you're doing great or you're doing bad, they're going to say something. So I'm sure that you're not trying to compensate either of mine. When you walk around Beverly Hills and you're walking down Rodeo Drive, you got these guys

revving the engines in their Lamborghinis and their Ferraris. In Houston, there's Westheimer Road and the Galleria are the kind of the two main drags there. You go on in there and you're revving the engine as you're driving by? No. Honestly, I have... Listen, my car that I drive every day is an Acura. Driving Acura, you know, 2019 TLX. Don't rev my engine. And when I see that, I don't judge, you know, I don't really...

You know, I made a purchase because it's a dream of mine. And my dad was an exotic car dealer. Like, I have pictures of my dad where he's with Eddie Murphy and we're inside the shop and he's, you know, selling a car. So I'm like, I just like cars. You know, I'm not a huge car guy, but it's just something that I grew up around. So I'm not somebody who's going to be revving their engine. If somebody wants to race me, they could race themselves. Right.

When I grew up, I didn't have a lot of money. And I go to the Porsche dealership every year. I sit in a Porsche 911. Company goes public. I can afford the car. And I waited some time, too, because I thought, oh, shit, like $107,000 for this Porsche. That's a lot of dough. And so a couple of things. I remember I got the car. And first day, I took it home, and I washed the car.

And I dropped this big bucket. I thought, okay, that's great. And the bucket was round and it has still this little round dent on the back of the car. And I didn't rev it, but I had a photo shoot. Someone was writing a piece on me about this kid in Detroit who paid it big. And I remember I had the top down and then the studio was in the worst neighborhood possible, Compton. And I'm driving through it and I can't figure out how to put the top up. Yeah.

And all these guys are looking around. Oh, man. And I got to go inside. You know, if I said, do not be late. Do not be late. And so I had to leave the car outside with the top down. And I just didn't feel safe. It's like stop sign after stop sign. Like, oh, shit, is my car going to come out and still be there? I've been in some situations like that. And it's definitely tough when you're going through

a rough neighborhood and you know what they call that around from it's like you're an easy lick like they look at you like they like they could get you you know so you got to be got to be prepared you know the average length of a relationship that someone lives together before they get married is 2.8 years thoughts on how long you're going to live with your fiance before you get married that's not the average length of the relationship that's living together that's living together

Yeah, I think that's right on point. Sorry, sorry. That's the average length of dating before they become engaged. Okay. Yeah, I think that, listen, I'm not Dr. Phil, but I think that that's a good time frame. Some people move faster than others. Some people move slower. It's just about how you feel.

and where you're at in your life. If you're like in your mid-20s, 25, 24, you might take a little long but if you're in your 30s, you know, you might, if you find a person and things, you know, just depends on where you're at. I was single for seven and a half years. I had a relationship for two of those years so I had five years. It was craziness. You know, you're in LA and...

I was working a lot, running three different companies and very focused on my kids as well. You know, I'm divorced, home for dinner every night, pick them up from school when I had them 50-50 custody. And it was nutty. And I met my wife Madison in New York and we got engaged three months later.

And here we are 11 and a half years later. She ended up living, moving from New York and living with us for about one and a half years. And I just think it's a great, great thing to do. You have to know your partner big time. 20% of engagements don't result in marriage and half the marriages in the United States fail. The divorce rates, 50% crazy numbers. Yeah. Does that scare you?

Um, never really, never really looked into it with like a pessimistic mindset. You know, I'm usually pretty optimistic on things and I'm not going to go into it thinking, you know, this I'm 50% going to fail. You know, I'm just going to do my best. And if it doesn't work out, then it just wasn't meant to be. So, uh, yeah, that's pretty much, that's, that's all I got on that. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm not scared, but I like, I, again, I said, I think that,

Having a solid foundation, aligning on core values, you know, keeping things spicy, keeping things fun. I think that, you know, over the long run, it could be beneficial. You look at the success of The Bachelor on a long-term relationship basis over 28 seasons. Here are the stats. 22 engagements, several marriages, and only two remain married. Right. You know that going into the show?

Uh, I didn't, I didn't know that going on show. I know, but look and look at the stats of how marriage is in America today. So I think it's a, I think it's a, if you ask me, I think it's a core value issue. You know, people, people grow apart, uh, which I understand people grow at different paces, develop different interests, different hobbies, uh, viewpoints might change, but you know, commitment is, is past love. So if it's something that,

You know, I know on my end, looking at marriage, I definitely want committed and I think it's rooted in my faith. And I think that like I'm a very...

committed person. So hopefully, you know, if things go that route or whatever happens at the end of all this, if it is marriage, if it isn't marriage, whatever it is, I think I'm going to stay committed to my purpose. Do you ever get any pressure from the producers on the show and say, Grant, man, this better work out because it's not going to look good when the show ends if you don't get engaged? No. Um,

No, because like I said, regardless, you can go on there and be Shakespeare. Somebody's going to tell you that you're not saying the right things. You can go on there and do everything right. It's always going to be opinions. And that's what just happens when you're in the spotlight. So whether it doesn't work out, whether it does work out, you just got to be yourself. Stick to your heart, stick to your gut, be a good person and let the chips fall where they fall. Aren't all 25 women on their best behavior when they're sitting and they're having time with you? Listen, they may be...

with you. But you could judge somebody's character by how they interact with other people. So, do you watch them interact with other people? Because when all the cattiness is going on, you're not in the room. Yeah, but you could be on date, group dates,

You know, there's times when you get to assess the situation and be vigilant, you know, and just check out like what's going on. But I'm not going to say, you know, best behavior is they all want to find a partner and they're there for you. So when they're with you, they're going to try to connect. But, you know, if somebody is not getting along with this person, you can start to see, okay, why? And then you see interactions and then you just kind of assess there, you know. Do you know what's going on behind the scenes on the show, the backstabbing and all the...

Riff raff going on? You don't know. You don't know what's going on. You kind of have to, you're in, you're in a little dark spot. You're in a little blind spot and you have to, you have to take context clues. There is competition for the show. All the women want to be the one.

And just like in the real world, people are going to basically sometimes shit on someone else to try to make themselves look better. And you were on a solo date and one of the women said, okay, someone told you that you were really into her. I forget the exact word and she felt very uncomfortable about that. And then you confronted Rose who had said it and she's just crying all over the place, busted. Yeah.

But yeah, you still gave her a rose to move on to the next show. Yeah, that was something that, you know, because my word is something I try to really stand on. And that's my character. You know, I'm not going to say, first of all, I think that was probably the, that's a bad move personally. And it's all around to say that. So I like, that's something I wouldn't do. But I also, I accepted her apology and we had a connection. So even though that dampened it a little bit, I wanted to see if, you know,

give that person a second chance. So, I think that's why I did that. But isn't that someone's true character? I mean, that just is not smart. You're on the show, you're taking a massive risk and how do you know that isn't someone's character in general? Yeah, definitely. It definitely makes you, especially when you're first meeting someone, it definitely makes you question. And then two, you want to allow a little more time for things to unfold.

for things to unfold to see was that really said? Was that really, you know, did somebody say something different? Was there a mix up? So, you know,

Thinking logically, you know, maybe you send that person home and the same night but also, you know You have to hear let the story unfold a little more when I was dating Madison we went to Greece after one month and at this point I've been single for a long time and Just wasn't ready to mess around anymore. I want to get married I want to have more kids and she was living in New York. And so there was a woman in LA and

who was interested in me and I was interested in her. And I asked my buddy, John Terzian, who's going to be on my show tomorrow, by the way, amazing guy, Agewood Group, shout out to John. I said, you know, do you know Madison? And he said, no, but I think I have a friend that did. And so I talked to this girl and she was interested in dating me. She

shit all over Madison and gave me all kinds of stuff about these trips she's taken to Vegas, et cetera, et cetera. And so I had a little bit of a damper on it. I mean, I assessed the situation, you know, as she's saying it because she wanted to date me or whatever, but on the trip,

to Greece. I mean, we talked about a lot of things, you know, kids, religion, values. I said, by the way, I said, you know, who's, I heard this from somebody and she said who, and I had no problem telling her, by the way, because there's no need to beat around the bush. You know, I'm going to tell her who the source is. And she said, I met that girl once. She was in Vegas. Uh,

She isn't very well liked and that's the case. I mean, she finally got married but was single for a very, very long period of time. I think at some point you can't change your stripes. Yeah. And then if somebody does something that doesn't align with your character, like if that's not something you would do and somebody is doing it, probably not going to work out, you know? So, that's a good way to tell. Yeah. No one's perfect. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes, that's a fact.

You have a bucket list and what a bucket list is you want to travel to as many countries as possible. Right. What are the top five things on your bucket list in addition to that travel plan? Start a hedge fund. Have a family. In addition to traveling, try...

all different food groups. I think that's something. What's one food group that you haven't tried? I've had a little bit of Indian food, but just the basic butter chicken, garlic naan. I want to try different foods in that category. Spicy. Spicy. I like spicy. I like spicy food. I like spicy food. Yeah, those would be like my top three things probably. All right. We're at the end of the show and I always...

Finish a show with a game I call fill in the blank to excellence. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. The biggest lesson I've learned in my life is... Biggest lesson I've learned in my life is to forgive. My number one professional goal is... My number one professional goal is to start a hedge fund. My number one personal goal is... My number one personal goal is to learn how to love better. My biggest regret is... My biggest regret is...

I don't have regrets. I just - I don't have regrets. My biggest fear is? My biggest fear is not living up to my potential. The biggest mistake I've made in my life is? Biggest mistake I made in my life

Up until this point was probably where I committed to college, honestly. Probably where I committed to college. Why do you consider that a mistake? Because I had a lot of offers and I rushed it. I was young, didn't have the right guidance. And looking back at it as a 31-year-old man, I would have took my time and assessed the situation and made the right decision. Is education critical to our future success? I think education is very critical. I think the traditional route of education is changing.

But I think furthering your knowledge is critical. You have to learn, you have to learn new things and you have to always push yourself. But you don't... This is maybe a controversial take. School is important, but with the use of the internet and today, you can learn how to be an entrepreneur, how to be a businessman and how to handle yourself through different people that are online, you know? The biggest challenge I faced in my life is... Biggest challenge I faced in my life was...

Learning how to forgive. Learning how to forgive and deal with inner struggles that I had. The most prideful moment in my life has been... Most prideful moment in my life was an argument I had with my father. And I said some really mean things because I was hurt. And I forgot that he's the one that gave birth to me, you know? So...

that I had some pride there. The craziest thing that's ever happened to me is? Craziest thing that ever happened to me was becoming a bachelor. The funniest thing that's ever happened to me is? Funniest thing that's ever happened to me, I was...

I was like eight, I was eight years old, I was playing hide and go seek and I got found out and the person scared me and I got scared and snot came out of my nose in front of everybody. It was just like, it was bad, it was bad. The best advice I've ever received is? To go with your heart. The worst advice I've ever received is? Don't get into day training. 10 years from now, I'm going to be doing? Hopefully I'm with, you know, I have a family.

building a life and just enjoying my life. 20 years from now, I'm going to be doing, probably getting a knee replacement surgery. The best advice I have for the next bachelor is? Best advice I have is be yourself. Be yourself and...

Yeah, just always be yourself. If you could pick one trait that would lead to somebody's success, it is? Perseverance. The one thing I've dreamt about doing for a long time but haven't is? One thing I dreamt about doing for a long time but haven't is travel to every country there is. If you could go back and give your 21-year-old self one piece of advice, what would it be? Get into trading earlier, 100%. If you could meet one person in the world, who would it be? LeBron James. If you were President Trump,

What's the next thing you would do in office tomorrow? Man, listen, I am not astute in politics. You know, I have no comment on that. No comment. Controversial. Controversial. Listen, I'm very, I'm like very, I'm media trained. Okay. I would invest money into people that

work in unions, you know, the middle class, I think it's the backbone of our society and really make sure they're taken care of. You mentioned media training. How much media training do you have for the show? There is some media training, but there's some, you know, they prep you on certain things are going to happen. But ultimately when you're

on the seat, it's up to you to say whatever you're going to say. So when I say media training, I just, I've been an athlete my whole life. So I've had to do presses and yeah. So just that's part of what I mean. You're pro union. Yeah. A lot of my friends work in the union. You know, I think that they work hard. I think that they work really hard. I'm not going to say I'm pro union, but you know, guy, I think that we need, you know, we need that. It's very important. The unions have an important place in society today. 100 years ago, 90 years ago, I think there was a

great purpose for a union, but a lot of people today say not necessary at all. I think that a union is very important. You have to have somebody that's looking out for the person that's working hard, somebody that has their back. I think that this may be off topic, but a very important part of leadership is leading from behind, you know, pushing people forward that need it. You know, people in the union definitely

you know, they had that having that support is, is big. The one question you wish I'd asked you, but didn't is how long does it take you to know that somebody is your person? I think the love of my life is Madison. And I realized after spending, so this is a crazy story. I'll tell you the story. I was on a date with another woman. We're going to Brentwood. She drove to my house first. I wasn't digging the whole feel. I could tell she wanted to

to get romantic even before we went to dinner. I was just not comfortable. You know, I think as a man or a woman, I think a lot of people love sex. It's the most enjoyable activity in the world for most people. So a lot of people would be like, okay, whatever, let's, you know, let's go. And I just wasn't feeling it and I didn't like the dinner conversation. So when she got up to go to the bathroom, I had been invited

the day before to a place called the Soho House. It's a cool club kind of thing. And I'd never been there before. It was a group of cool guys. And I said, no, I can't do it. Got this day. As much as I want to go, I'm not going to cancel the date. Just, there's a woman that I want to take out. She goes to the bathroom. I wasn't digging it. I text my

friends, hey, can I come in a little bit? So a woman comes back to the table and I get migraines. So I said, I got this terrible headache. I got to go home. They're like, oh, we'll drive home. I was driving. Her car was at my house. And she said, okay, I'll take care of you. We got to the house. I'm like, no, I got a migraine. Can't have a photon of light in the house. And so I go, well, let me put you to bed. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. She said, you shining me on? I said, no, I really don't feel well. So she left.

I waited 15 minutes because I was nervous she hadn't cleared out of the neighborhood. I felt like she was not really believing me. So I go to Soho House.

And I'm there and I'm sitting next to this woman. I'm not going to mention her name. And it was cool. She was cool. She was pretty. And for whatever reason, she started showing me photos of her in this full frontal nudity. I'm like, holy shit, this woman's gorgeous. And she's got a great personality, whatever. We became friends. And she moved to Los Angeles. She was here kind of part time. And then I was taking her out on a date.

And Madison, my wife, was living in New York. She was modeling. She had four jobs when I met her. And then we went to Katsuya right down the street and she crashed a day at the last minute. They came back to my house and played the drums in the Wii in my bedroom. Okay. Till two in the morning. The Wii was like in a little room and then I'm playing the drums and they're sitting on the bed and they're playing the drums. I'm like, oh, I got these two gorgeous women in the bedroom. Nothing happened. And then we kept in touch.

and not really in touch, but we're Facebook friends. I got her number and she posts on Facebook, going to Hawaii with my boyfriend, can't wait for two weeks. And I texted her, is this the engagement trip? And she wrote back, hardly. And I wrote back, oh, you're incredible. You don't have to settle. And I texted her four days later. I'd been to the resort a bunch of times. I said, hey, how's the trip going? I said, we broke up. So I said, oh, I'd love to come to New York and take you to dinner. And she said, no, I live with my boyfriend. I got to get my own place.

So I basically lied. I'm coming to the Frieze Art Fair this weekend. Because she said I'll be in California. She's from Fresno. My sister's getting married maybe.

i can get together this summer it's like you gotta strike with that iron is hot right it's like man one second you miss it one day you're done yeah so i said i'm coming uh to new york we went to dinner twice and i said to her it was it was great i mean i've been single for a long time i dated all the wrong women i knew what i wanted and i thought she was the perfect partner for me and when we left when i left after

two nights in New York, I said, I know you're just getting out of something and I just think there's something here and I'm going to go back to LA and I'm not going to date anybody, but you can do what you want. Of course, that was fucking bullshit. I didn't want to do anything. Right. And so we ended up seeing each other once. We took the trip to Greece and at that point I knew. So I think when you know, you know. Right. When you know, you know. And I think, yeah, for me personally,

I know like there's so many beautiful women out there, but it's hard to find character that aligns with yours. So when I see traits in that where I'm like, okay, not only am I attracted to you, but your character stands out. Yeah. That's what I know. And listen, my life, I've been through some struggles. So when somebody has my back and I know they're like a rider, they're there for me.

I'm like, okay, I'll give you everything. You know what I'm saying? At that point. So, you know what I'm saying? Well, not everything. I'm still got my own, but you know what I'm saying? Like I will sacrifice for you if I know that you have my back. If you're not after me for, you know, obviously you're going to be attracted and obviously there's, you know, what I could offer and provide. There's a mutual benefit in relationship. But if you love me for who I am on the inside,

So that's that's when I start to fall my wife is dropped at gorgeous and when she walks in the room people look and they turn their heads when people tell me your wife is so Beautiful. I tell them she's a lot more beautiful on the inside than the outside and that at the end of the day Is way more important because at the end of the day it looks fade and it's really what's inside that matters She also went to business school

graduated college in three years and she lost football. So as a football guy, like I got the TV on Sunday. There's no complaining when you're watching football. The calendar comes out. The Michigan Wolverines goes into the calendar and the Detroit Lions go into the calendar. She knows that's my time and she'll watch, you know, when she can. That's so important. And you know, like my night one speech was, it was called the strength of a woman. Women have so much to offer. It

They, when you find the right, when you find the right person, the right person to match you, it's like, it's better than any amount of money that you could have. Obviously, you need money, you know what I'm saying? But it is like striking gold. You find somebody that understands you, that compliments you, you know, because a lot of times as men, we think, you know, we're very...

calculated and we're very, you know, and women come around like, like, you know, to have a drink, lighten up. Let's have some fun. Let's do something that takes your mind off of things. And they, and then they hold you up when you're down. And sometimes we don't think about things that they think about. So it's like a perfect union in the middle when you find the right person that builds you up. So that's, that's, yeah, I am, um,

I'm just excited. I'm excited for how things play out. I'm so fortunate that I get to meet some of the most successful business people in the world. And I've interviewed two coaches in the last two months who have coached hundreds of thousands of men over the last 10 or 15 years.

And they've said to me one of the most important traits of a man's success is finding the right partner to support them, be with them, share with them and grow together. And I agree with them 1 million percent. I'm with you on that. Any other questions that you want to ask me before we finish today? Man, I just want to give you flowers, man. I really enjoyed the interview. You're such an intellectual person. You know, you're calculated, you're smart.

and I could tell that you care. So that's something that, you know, before I leave here, just want to give you your flowers. And I really enjoyed the interview. I enjoyed getting into finance, trading, talking about love. It was a well-rounded conversation. Well, I think you're an awesome guy. I'm excited for your future. Excited to watch.

The show, again, ABC, 8 o'clock Eastern Time, 8 o'clock Pacific Time. If you missed the show live, it's on Hulu the next day. Yes, sir. One day later. So, again, congratulations on all your success. I'm excited for your future. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. Thank you, man. I appreciate you. I enjoyed it. Okay, me too. Thank you.