Shownotes Transcript
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Visit BuyAToyota.com, Toyota's official website for deals, or stop by your local Toyota dealer to find out more. Toyota, let's go places. If you love a good mystery, you won't want to miss the new Audible original, The Big Fix, a Jack Bergen mystery. Jon Hamm stars as Jack Bergen, a hard-boiled private eye who's about to crack his latest case of murder and mayhem.
Four years after leaving the FBI, Bergen is pulled back into the game by an old flame. She needs his help to clear the name of an immigrant accused of murder.
But this case isn't just about one crime. It's about power, corruption, and the fight for a Mexican-American community being pushed out to make way for Dodgers Stadium. The Big Fix is packed with conspiracy, tension, and a star-studded cast, including Ana de la Virguera, Omar Epps, Aaliyah Shawkat, and a cameo from John Slattery. Created by John Mankiewicz and directed by Aaron Lipstadt, this is one mystery you won't want to miss.
Listen to the gritty and winding tale that delivers both meaning and mayhem with a solid punch. Go to audible.com, The Big Fix, and listen now. I'm Michelle Jalasky. This is The Moth. Right now we're in Boston, a city where over 1,675 people have gone on stage and told a moth story. Here's one of those tellers, Julie Baker. When I hear the doorbell ring, I think, seriously? Seriously?
But it's Jill, and even death wouldn't be a good excuse for blowing off Jill. So I put on my coat with a hood, I grab my rolling old lady carriage, I grab the blind cane, and I head downstairs. There she is, my blind coach.
I didn't seek out a blind coach. I didn't know that blindness was a sport that required a coach. But when my neuro-ophthalmologist told me that my MS-related optic nerve damage had crossed over into legal blindness, I was like, "Okay, whatever. I see just as well as I saw yesterday."
And she said she referred me to the Mass Commission for the Blind. I asked her if she was allowed to do that without my consent, and she thought I was joking. I wasn't joking. I tell Jill on the phone that I really don't want to waste her time. I'm sure she's a really busy person, and I'm not actually blind-blind.
because I can still do stuff on my own. She just listens. She says, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And she makes an appointment to come to my house. She's carrying a blind cane. She had asked me on the phone what my height was, and I saw the cane, and I said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not doing that. I'm not that kind of blind. I get around just fine.
She said, okay, okay, so do you ever fall? I said, no, no, no, no. Well, not out on the street. I fell down the stairs, but it's because it's a new house to me, and I have no depth perception. But now my son and I went to Dollar Tree, and we got duct tape that's bright orange and purple sparkly and orange.
Royal blue and we put it on each step so I don't fall down the stairs anymore She said yeah, is your son gonna follow you around with duct tape thought that was a little rude She asked me if I ever got lost and I said no I put in headphones and the Google directions told me to go up here and turn right and go up there and turn left and I was fine and
She said, "How about in the dark?" I said, "Well, I just get rides in the dark. I don't really like to walk around in the dark, especially the new neighborhood." She said, "Okay, well, I'm going to give you the phone number of somebody who's also a reluctant cane user. And you call her and you hear her story." I said, "Whatever, I'll call her so I can tell her I talked to this woman and we're very, very different."
I call her and she's funny. She tells me some funny stories about Jill, which I appreciate. She also thinks Jill doesn't have much of a sense of humor. She tells me everything changed when she named her blind cane.
and she named him Stanley. And she introduced him to children in her classroom. She was a teacher, and she traveled the world with Stanley. And Stanley helped her explore and be independent. She said, "Maybe you need to name your blind cane." I said, "Uh, yeah, I don't think so, because if I were to name the blind cane at this point, his name would be fucking Dickhead."
And then I fell in the street. I wasn't using fucking dickhead. It was a new sidewalk to me. I didn't know the sidewalks by heart the way I did in my old neighborhood, so I didn't see where the roots kind of made it buckle. And I tripped, and I fell, and it was hard. And I ripped my pants, and my knee was bleeding, and I was laying there on the sidewalk. I was embarrassed.
It hurt, and I was pissed because Jill was right, and I wasn't safe without the blind cane. So I sent her a text. I said, fine, fine. I'll do the blind cane training, and we did. And we took the train, and we walked upstairs, and I still...
I was not happy. I didn't like that I needed the goddamn blind cane. And I was going to do whatever I could do to avoid certain blind cane situations. I told her that people would think I was faking because when I'm on the train with the blind cane and I'm looking at my phone, they know I can really see. And I'm probably just trying to ride for free.
She said, yeah, do you think blindness is all black and white? Because it's a spectrum. When she suggested we go to the grocery store, I said, no, no, no, no. There's this thing called Instacart, and I don't have to do that. And if I want to run in for oat milk, I know exactly where it is. She said, okay, what happens if you need something, Instacart doesn't have it, and you don't know how to find it? So I meet her. We go shopping.
to Shaw's. It's raining. I said to her, how do blind people deal in the rain? I have the old lady carriage. I have the blind cane and it's raining. How am I supposed to do that? Do blind people not get to use umbrellas? She said, well, you have a hood, right? We walked to the store and I'm angry and it's raining, but I did it. And I asked for things that I couldn't find. And when I left the store, the sun came out.
And I said to Jill, I'm okay on my own from here. And I snapped my cane open like a Jedi lightsaber. And I went home with everything on my list. That was Julie Baker. Julie is a writer, storyteller, and mom of two adult children who almost always text back.
She's getting ready to walk the Camino de Santiago Portuguese coastal route, 175 miles from Porto to Spain with a blind cane named Stella and her partner Paul. Julie, that's amazing and we can't wait to hear how it goes. And if you'd like to see a photo of Julie and her cane named Stella at the Acropolis in Athens, check out our website, themoth.org slash extras.
On this episode, we have two stories. You just heard the first about learning to accept help. And this next one's all about a steamy Italian tryst. But you'll have to wait a few seconds for it. We'll be right back. I was looking for a way to determine what my body needed for more energy and to better understand my metabolism. And Lumen helps me do that.
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Thank you, Lumen, for sponsoring this episode. I am single, and I spend some time each year traveling with the moth, helping people craft and share stories. And there are times my friends and family get a little worried about me. Whether it's your spouse, your kids, your parents, or even your friends, loving someone means you want to know they're okay. Life360 addresses that anxiety with their location sharing app that puts the real-time location of everyone you love right in the palm of your hand.
When I'm traveling with the moth, Life360 will give my family peace of mind. Life360 even has roadside assistance and tile trackers for your keys and luggage. So many features to help everyone feel safe. My Life360 circle is about to include my family and my best friend, Aaron. And if they're ever curious or worried about me, they can just open the app to see where I am. Get peace of mind in the palm of your hand with Life360.
Visit Life360.com or download the app today and use code MOTH to get 15% off. That's Life360.com, code MOTH. Welcome back. Up next, we'll find some unlikely lessons in the most unlikely place of all, a dating app. Hannah Bowens told this at a New York Story Slam where the theme was deal breakers. Here's Hannah live at the Moth. Thanks. So I turned...
at the beginning of this year. Thank you. And I learned that the quickest way out of an identity crisis is sexting an Italian that you met on a hookup app. So I was living in Chicago. He was in Rome. We'll call him Luca. And...
Very quickly, my daily virtual flirting conversations with Luca became the best part of my day. We were exchanging dirty texts, photos, voice notes, you name it. And I had never done anything like this before, but I loved it because when I was talking to Luca, I wasn't this sad, depressed, anxious person.
who was struggling to function. I was confident. I was sexy. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I was someone worth wanting. And I tried to keep it... I tried to take things slow, so I waited eight weeks before I got on a plane to Italy to meet Luca. And I spent the entire plane ride... I should have been learning Italian words for, like, catfishing. Help me. Help me.
No, I was smiling the whole way, really proud of myself because I was turning my pathetic life into a real life movie. And whether that movie was going to be the next great love story or a Netflix documentary about my murder, that was for fate to decide. And for anyone wondering, I did, I bought my own flight. I paid my way. It put me into debt, but...
When you have nothing left to lose, like a looming credit card bill is really nothing. It's a small price for the chance at love. So I met Luca outside the airport in Rome. We got into his car to drive to Tuscany and I was absolutely sick with nerves, but he was sweet, he was cute, he looked just like his photos. He even had a piece of pizza for me in the car to eat on the way.
And my entire body just relaxed in that moment because you don't bother with road pizza if you're plotting murder. So we pull up to Tuscany to our rustic villa, it's sunset, and if this is all starting to sound like too good to be true, yeah, I thought so too. And I just was like, you know what, that's my inner self-saboteur. And I am not going to let that toxic prude ruin this for me. So like put that to the side.
But as the night went on, the more wine I was drinking, that voice just got a little bit louder. And I just kept thinking, you are a phony. You're just over here performing for the stranger. He is going to see right through you. And I felt suddenly really stupid for being there. Like,
Kidding myself that I was deserving or capable of this kind of like happiness. So, you know, sexy thoughts, all sexy, sexy foreplay. And at one point we sit down by the fire, we're like on the carpet in front of the fire. And that's when I look at Luca and I'm, I can tell something is weighing on him too. So I pour another glass of, um,
I still can't pronounce it. Montepulciano, whatever, wine. And he opens up that he had lost...
all of his savings in an investment that went bad earlier that year. He was starting to save up again, but he had moved in with his mom in Rome. I could tell just the shame on his face when he was telling me this was all too familiar. I shared with him that I had lost my day job earlier that year.
The side writing project I'd been working on for two years was recently put on hold indefinitely, and I had also moved in with my parents. So there we were, two adults who had taken big risks, and it landed us broke sending nudes from childhood bedrooms. And depending on your perspective...
It could seem very pathetic, but in that moment, it seemed, like, incredibly romantic. And I'm going to save the dirty details of the rest of the weekend for, like, the feature script. But it was great. It was a lot of fun. And I left. I went back home. And we drifted apart. And it sort of turned out that, like, distance and work turned out to be deal breakers. But...
I think being on that silly app that was just meant for like fun with no strings attached, we discovered people that we liked, each other, but also we could be people that we liked. Confident, playful, fun, with a little bit of passion still left. And he's still a good friend. I had a really good way to end this and I just totally blanked on it. I'm sorry.
Yeah, thank you. That was Haina Bowens. Haina's risk-taking continued with international pet-sitting until she found her own cat, Moses, and settled in Chicago. Her next project is a podcast about sex in the movies. She still believes it's more important that the risk pays off rather than the credit card bill. That's it for this episode. If you're enjoying the podcast, why not tell a friend about it? So many of our listeners are here because their families and loved ones told them about the moth, and we'd love if you could share our stories with the people you care about.
From all of us here at The Moth, have a story-worthy week. Michelle Jalowski is a director at The Moth, where she helps people craft and shape their stories for stages all over the world.
This episode of the Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin-Ginness, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Sollinger. The rest of the Moth leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Jennifer Hickson, Kate Tellers, Marina Cloutier, Suzanne Rust, Leanne Gulley, and Patricia Oreña. The Moth Podcast is presented by Odyssey. Special thanks to their executive producer, Leah Reese Dennis. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by their storytellers.
For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org. I've been counted out, dismissed, passed over, told I'd never be a golfer with just one arm. But the only thing that feels better than proving people wrong is outdriving them. I'm 14-year-old golfer Tommy Morsey, and I want to be remembered for my ability.
As a champion partner of the Masters, Bank of America supports everyone determined to find out what's possible in golf and in life. What would you like the power to do? Bank of America. Bank of America N.A. Member FDIC Copyright 2025 Bank of America Corporation All Rights Reserved. Hey, it's Austin James. Yes, I'm living with diabetes, but it doesn't have to define me. Thanks to the Freestyle Libre 3 Plus sensor, I get real-time glucose readings throughout the day.
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