The Moth Radio Hour: Hidden Treasure - Live from The Moth’s Education Showcase
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一场特别的现场版《The Moth》——来自Moth高中讲故事工作坊毕业生的五个故事之夜。加入我们，庆祝学生们关于初吻、文化冲击、找到自己的位置和烘焙苹果蛋糕的故事。本小时由Moth教学艺术家Julian Goldhagen主持，Moth执行制片人Sarah Austin Jenness也参与主持。《The Moth Radio Hour》由The Moth和大西洋公共媒体的Jay Allison制作。讲故事者：Isobel Connelly在成长过程中感到自己是个愚蠢的女孩。Saya Shamdasani感到夹在两种文化之间。David Lepelstat对他的初吻感到紧张。Luna Azcurrain和她的祖父创造了一个感恩节传统。Beth Gebresilasie试图保护自己免受家庭不断搬家的影响。播客：651</context> <raw_text>0 Does your morning toast taste more like cardboard than bread? Then you haven't tried America's number one organic bread, Dave's Killer Bread. Killer taste, killer texture, killer nutrition. Now try our new Rock and Rolls, a dinner roll done the Dave's way. Soft and slightly sweet and packed with the seeds and grains you love. Find them in the bread aisle. Visit daveskillerbread.com to learn more and look for Dave's Killer Bread in the bread aisle of your local grocery store. Dave's Killer Bread. Bread Amplified.

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This autumn, fall for Moth Stories as we travel across the globe for our mainstages. We're excited to announce our fall lineup of storytelling shows. From New York City to Iowa City, London, Nairobi, and so many more, The Moth will be performing in a city near you, featuring a curation of true stories. The Moth mainstage shows feature five tellers who share beautiful, unbelievable, hilarious, and often powerful true stories on a common theme. Each one told reveals something new about our shared connection.

To buy your tickets or find out more about our calendar, visit themoth.org slash mainstage. We hope to see you soon. From PRX, this is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Sarah Austin-Ginness. This is the sound of students from the Bronx High School of Science, the Beacon School, Harvest Collegiate High School, and young people from all over the five boroughs of New York waiting to tell stories with the moth.

Since the early days of the Moth, teams of Moth teaching artists have gone into high schools around the country and worked with young people to develop and craft stories from their lives. In 2012, the Moth's education program was formalized because we believe that young people's stories need to be celebrated and shared on a wider scale. So this episode is a celebration of the Moth's education program.

In this hour, you'll hear five students who were all part of a special showcase at the Bell House in Brooklyn, which was packed with hundreds of students, moth workshop leaders, and faculty advisors. Our host was social worker and longtime moth teacher Julian Goldhagen. As you'll hear, Julian wasn't always comfortable on stage, but he found his groove. All right. So today's theme is Hidden Treasure.

All of our stories this evening are somehow going to relate to this idea. And I am definitely someone that is full of hidden treasures, believe it or not. And it brought me back to when I was young, a little, little kid. And I was very, very, very painfully shy, which a lot of people don't believe because I just like talk all the time now. But when I was growing up, that was not the case. I was like voluntarily mute. You know, I just didn't speak.

I didn't ever raise my hand in class. I didn't have a lot of friends. It just kind of wasn't who I was. And I was more or less okay with it because I was also someone as a young person that had a tremendous amount of social anxiety. And so just kind of fading into the background and not taking up a lot of space was how I kept myself feeling safe and comfortable.

So I was cool with it. But the adults in my life were kind of less cool with it. You know, I kind of always heard these things from teachers and my parents being like, Julian, like, we got to get you to open up. We got to get you to break out of your shell. You got to break out of your shell. So I would hear this thing about like breaking out of my shell and it kind of like stuck in my brain. I was like, what does that mean? Why do I have to do that? And how am I going to do that? I really agonized over it.

So about halfway through my third grade year of elementary school, our music teacher left. She got married to this guy who was like giving swamp tours in the Everglades, and so she moved there. Which, by the way, I'm from Florida, so that kind of thing is like normal. We're like, oh yeah, Everglades. So we got a new music teacher, and her name was Miss Popa, and she was kind of way more serious, and she thought we needed a more serious music program. So she created this music club. It was an after-school music club. It was very elite.

Only third graders could do it. And so a letter went home in our backpacks to tell our parents about it. And I brought it home and as soon as my mom saw, she was like, "You're doing this. I think this would be a really good idea. It's going to help you break out of your shell."

And inside, I just felt this thing of, you know, this does not feel like a good idea. I knew that there was going to be a lot of kids there because it was a very popular club for whatever reason. And I'm like, I don't love big crowds. The idea of getting in front of people and just being observed felt like my worst nightmare. So I was like, why would I sign up for that? And also, and most importantly, Miss Popo was really scary.

She was like 11 feet tall. She had like a really thick Eastern European accent, which my grandparents do too. But like Miss Popa's freaked me out for some reason. So I was like, I don't want to go. But I also thought, you know, maybe this is what it is to break out of your shell. Maybe that's that feeling. So I said I would go.

And the next Wednesday, I'm in music club. And my friends, it was like worse than I could have possibly imagined. It was so scary. Miss Popa had a lot of rules. She literally said to us, first moment, she was like, this is my classroom. It's my country. I'm a dictator. I was like, all right, Miss Popa. Like, just starting us off right away. She made us like stand up and do tongue twisters by ourselves, which made me feel really exposed and scared. And so I just kind of was like, let me fall into the background. Let me like learn the animal songs and do my thing and like just not be noticed by Miss Popa.

So that's what I did. And eventually it was the end of the year and we were having a big recital and the week before that recital we had a very special rehearsal in the cafetorium. Which if you don't know what a cafetorium is...

You know, you didn't go to public school, but basically a cafetorium is like a cafeteria, but it has a stage, so it's also an auditorium. So we were in there after school. It was our dress rehearsal. There were like other kids in the audience, like just eating their snack before their after school groups, and I was really freaking out. So I'm just like trying to fade into the background. We have like three lines of kids, and I got myself to the back line, which was kind of hard because I was really short, and they always want to push us up to the front, but I was in the back.

wearing my little khaki shorts, my little white shirt, like we were all wearing, and I was doing great. You know, I was like doing the songs, doing the hand dances, like falling into the background, no problem.

And then all of a sudden, I start to feel this like familiar pressure in the lower half of my body, in my bladder. And I realized that I had to use the bathroom out of nowhere. And I didn't know what to do because I couldn't interrupt the song because Miss Popa made it clear that like you do not interrupt songs when they're happening. So I was like, I can't ask her to go, but I also can't just go because you're not allowed to go to the bathroom without asking to go to the bathroom. So I'm like cost benefit in my brain, what do I do?

And then my body just kind of like decides for me. Yeah, thank you. It decides for me and I feel some warmth in the lower half of my body. And I look down, there's like a little dark spot. And then it becomes like a bigger dark spot. And I, you know, hear somebody scream, that boy peed.

And my brain is just exploding and I don't know what to do. So I just run off the stage and I run out of the cafetorium and actually run out of the school. And somehow the school buses hadn't left for the day. So I run onto the school bus and I get myself home. And I don't go to school the next day and I never go to music club again. And I don't actually like do anything similar to this until I'm like a high school kid. So it really kind of wounded me, this like traumatic exposure moment.

Now I'm an adult and I always use the bathroom before I get on stage. And I'm like, what does this mean? Because on the one hand, I really appreciate the adults in my life who saw this hidden thing in me, this ability to be in front of people and talk that I didn't see in myself. But I also feel a lot of empathy for little shy Julian who was just trying to take care of himself by staying in his shell. And shells are important. I was thinking like turtles have shells.

Clams have shells. You know, if they don't have shells, they literally die. So there are useful things shells do in our lives. And so now I work with high school students and I try to respect that. You know, I try to celebrate the clams in the back row the same way I celebrate the like Julians in the front row. And because I think everyone is just doing the best we can, you know. And literally, whenever someone asks me, Mr., can I use the bathroom? I'm always like, just go. Go for it.

Thank you, thank you very much. I appreciate it. So we're about to bring our first storyteller up, but I asked all of our storytellers, what are three things that you treasure most? This first storyteller said, her grandmother's wedding ring, a doll from her grandmother, and her Australian passport. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a huge Beyonce-sized round of applause for Isabel Conner! So when I was little, I loved playing with Model Magic.

And if you don't know what Model Magic is, it's a quick-drying air clay. It comes in about four colors, so if you want any other ones, you have to mix them yourself. And I had come up with this really elaborate system. It involved making people, but the people turned to villages, and then the villages needed homes. So I started collecting all of our cardboard boxes and cutting them up and making sure that everybody had a bed.

The beds were made of tissue paper, but the mattresses were Model Magic. And I loved this. It was my world and my space and I could build. But I had just turned five at the time and I had to start going to school. And school was really different than home because home had light and it was colorful, but school had crappy carpeting and bad murals on the wall. And we had to do this thing called a reading circle.

And I didn't really understand it at first, but all of these kids seemed to know because they brought their chapter books. But I brought a picture book, and as we went around in the circle, they would just read it off like it was nothing. And when it got to me, I stumbled over the three words on my page, and I thought, maybe there's something off.

So I got sent to these special learning groups and these special reading groups, and they were on the weekends, and they looked kind of like school but more sterile, and they had white walls and high gray tables, and I would sit there, and I was often in these orange corduroy overalls, and they'd put blocks and letters and numbers in front of me, and eventually words, you know, small ones like cot, mat, top hat,

And they'd say, "Isabel, can you read this?" You know, a word has a shape, and I didn't understand how the sound would correspond to that shape, and when you put them together and they were meant to sound like this complete word, and I'd get this hot feeling in the back of my eyes and a lump in my throat, and I felt like I was about to cry because I was this stupid girl. And then going back to school on Monday, things had really escalated. Social stigma was now attached to this, you know.

It was like, could you count to 100 or read a full chapter book? And I couldn't do either of them. And the point that it really hit me was when my teacher took me aside and said, you know, no one had asked to be my partner on our big field trip. So I would be with her. And I felt like the stupid girl.

So I made this conscious decision from a really young age that I would trick everybody, that I was smart, and I could read, and I could write, and I could do math. And I think for the most part it worked. No one really knew it took me until I was 12 to learn how to read.

I did it in a few different ways. When my mom would read to me, I would memorize the words that were on the page, and I would remember the picture. So when I did public reading, it looked like I knew exactly what I was saying. And in classes, I'd focus on the way I said words and tried to remember them too because I realized I could remember most things, but I really couldn't write them.

And so I was doing this for years, and when I got to high school, I was really determined to keep up this image of this girl I had created in my mind. I was on time for class. Sometimes I was really early, and I had homework assignments in on time, and I would work so hard. But then someone caught me, and it was my ninth grade math teacher. She asked me to stay after school, and she sat down with me, and she said, Isabel, I

I've taught for 13 years in all these different places, but I've never met anybody as far behind in math as you. And again, I got that hot feeling in the back of my eyes and that lump in my throat, and I tried to swallow through it, and I zoned out, and I looked at the window, and I kept thinking about how I was that girl again. I was that stupid girl. But then I went every day after school, and I learned my times tables, and I learned my fractions, and I eventually passed the class.

I kept pushing. And I mean, there were moments when I knew that this was wrong. Because, you know, I was scribbling out answers or questions on tests and putting in animations there instead. And sometimes I would stay up really, really late drawing. And then those drawings turned into paintings, which turned into little worlds again. And then it would be four or five drawings.

And I'd realized I was going to be really tired at school, but it didn't really seem to matter because at least I was really happy in those moments. And senior year came, and it was time to apply to college. It would be proof if I went to some really academically rigorous school that I had, you know, never been the stupid girl. I was just smart. And so I started taking really hard classes, and one was this constitutional law history class.

And we had this one big paper for the end of our term, and we had to do this big reading attached to it. So when I sat down to do this reading, I pulled it out, and I went over the first line, and I didn't understand what it had said. So I went back again, and I took a breath, and I said, I can do this. And I went over the same line again, and I still couldn't read it.

And this thing started happening where that lump in my throat was back and the hot feeling was behind my eyes and I was going over and over these lines and I couldn't read any of it. And I was so frustrated because I'm 18 and I know how to read now. I'm not 12. I'm not that girl. And I'm crying and I'm embarrassed and there's no one there to even see. And as I'm crying, the crying turns to laughing because I hated it.

And I hated constitutional law. I couldn't do it anymore. But the thing I realized was that there were things that I loved. And what I loved was Model Magic. And I mean, it wasn't that anymore. It was something else. It was something I could feel. And I wanted to go back to that girl who was five and that girl who was 12. And now I want to go back to that 18-year-old girl. And I want to tell her, you're not stupid.

You're a really hard worker and you're creative and you'll stop at nothing. And you were never the stupid girl, Isabel. You were always the smart girl. You were just chasing the wrong things. Thank you.

Isabel Connelly has told stories with the moth since she was a junior in high school, and she came back from college, the Rhode Island School of Design, to tell this story at the Education Showcase. Isabel majors in graphic design, and she says her newest project is making crayon letters from a typeface she designed called ReCog for dyslexic people of all ages. To see her recent visual work, visit themoth.org.

Up next, more from this night featuring students from the Moth's Education Program when our show continues. The Mth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts and presented by PRX. You're listening to the Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Sarah Austin-Ginness, and in this episode, we're live from the Moth's Education Showcase at the Bell House in Brooklyn. ♪

It's not an exaggeration to tell you that this mission to elevate stories of young people has fundamentally changed our whole organization. Here's Hannah Campbell, the senior manager of the Moths Education Program, with more on the mission.

Our mission is to give educators and young people a platform to share their stories and their experiences with each other and then also with the world, where we have educators come in, work on their own stories, and then think about how they can then bring this practice that they've experienced into their own classrooms.

In terms of impact, we hear very often from young people that they have had a chance to grow in their self-confidence. They feel confident being listened to. It's so rare in all lives, but also particularly in the life of a young person, to be listened to uninterrupted for five minutes.

So I think our students get to know their peers and their classmates in ways that they hadn't really imagined before they entered the workshop space. That was the Moths' Hannah Campbell. Let's get back to our live education showcase with the theme Hidden Treasure. Here's the host, Julian Goldhagen. Thank you so, so much. So when I asked this storyteller what are three things that she treasures most, she told me she treasures her journal, she treasures music,

And she treasures a necklace that her grandmother gave her. Ladies and gentlemen, and people who aren't ladies or gentlemen, let's give a huge round of applause for Saya Shamdasani. I've lived in New York for my entire life. And when I was younger, I used to watch a lot of television. And I'd watch these programs with these girls, and I became fascinated by one thing. And it was this girl who's eating these bags of chips. And I later learned that these chips were pirate booty.

About a week later, I went to my friend's house and her mom gave us the same bag of chips for snack. And I was just so enamored by that that I went home to my mom and I told her, Mom, I want these chips for snack every single day when I came home from school.

And she kind of wrinkled her nose and she was like, what about the Indian snacks I make for you every day? And I'm like, no, can you please get me these? And she did it because that's what moms do. And every single day I had a bag of chips waiting for me when I came home from school.

So I, like I said, I grew up in New York City and I was always surrounded by a lot of white people and it obviously influenced how I did things. When my white friends came over, I'd tell my mom and my dad, never speak in Hindi, that was the one rule, and I'd always have these board games stacked up in a pile and I'd have the food that my friends were going to eat lined up and ready to go and everyone had to act

a certain way and smile. But when my Indian friends came over, it was more rough and messy and it wasn't perfect. But I didn't want that. I wanted to be like the girls in school with their chips and I wanted to be like the girl in the TV show. I didn't want rough, edged and messy.

One day, my mom came home, and she told us we were going to India for two weeks. And I'd been to India before, but it'd been a couple years since I'd been, and my first thought when she told me that was, ugh, I do not want to go to India. I do not want to be in the heat. I want to be here, and I want to spend the time with my friends when I don't have school. But I still packed my bags, and I went.

It's a long flight, and it's so chaotic. People are yelling from the back row about some food that their relative has in the front row, and then they have to sweep through the aisles and then pass it to them, and it's all these hugs and greetings. And when you land in the airport, everyone's speaking in Hindi, and there are immigration flyers, and there's baggage claim, and it's just this type of freeness that I never experienced anywhere else.

And my grandmother was waiting outside in the car, and she came and she enveloped my brother and I in a tight hug. And she said goodbye to my brother, my mom, and my dad because I was going to be spending some time in her apartment and living with her. And I remember pulling up to her apartment, and it was this yellow brick wall.

apartment had seven little flats and it was, each flat had a balcony and it was really beautiful and small and as I lived there with her, the neighbors were a big part of her daily life and it felt so different from my life in New York and the only time we spoke to our neighbors was when my brother threw the basketball in their area and then they came over and they handed it back. The only time we ever spoke.

So I live in, I was living in the apartment. I was surrounded by my mom's violet walls when she was growing up. I was showering in her shower and she didn't have a shower head. So I had this bucket and I'd pour it over myself and I was eating food and my days consisted of walking in the markets and watching my mother bargain for an item. She'd spend 20 minutes bargaining, bargaining over probably $1 and it didn't even become of whether or not the

the dollar was worth it or the item was worth it. It was just about who won the fight, who was the better bargainer. And every time we went to a new store, I was just hoping she'd fight a little harder and win that fight.

And we'd ride in rickshaws, and my hand would stick out the car window, and I'd feel the dust in between my fingers. And I remember one time my brother, my grandmother, and I were leaving the apartment complex, and I was sitting in the front. That was so cool because I never got to do that in New York. And a bunch of boys were picking some mangoes at a tree nearby. And they walked over to us, and one of the boys, my grandmother, asked, how much for a bundle of mangoes?

and the boy said some absurd number and my grandmother was like, "What are you gonna do with all that money?" And I think he said something really sketchy, 'cause all of a sudden, my grandma takes her hand and slaps the boy across the face. And that boy is rolling his eyes and I'm like, "Why isn't he freaking out?" And I've seen the boy around our complex before helping my grandma carry up groceries up the stairs 'cause they didn't have an elevator and she'd given him food before when she had leftovers and

She didn't have to look out for him because she was his mother. She was there because she wanted to be there, because there was a sense of community, the sense of togetherness, something I never experienced in America. So he just rolled his eyes and he said, "Auntie, you know, this is what teenagers do." And she laughed it off, like, "We're going to talk about this later."

And we flash forward, and I'm back in New York, and I'm hanging out with my Indian friends a little bit more, and one day we all go to a restaurant with our moms. We're loud, and we're happy, and we're boisterous, and we're sitting down, and we're about to order our food, when all of a sudden this man stands up, and he bangs his fist on the table, and he says, "If you want to act uncivilized and loud like that, go back to your own country."

And I remember the entire restaurant being completely silent. And this fork I had was digging into the palm of my hand and I was sweating and my heart was slowing down. And I watch as my mom stands up and she walks over to that man and she says, Sir, we have as much of a right to be in this country as you. This country is as much our home as it is yours.</raw_text>

一场特别的现场版《The Moth》——来自Moth高中讲故事工作坊毕业生的五个故事。加入我们，庆祝学生们关于初吻、文化冲击、找到自己的小天地和烤苹果蛋糕的故事。这一小时由Moth教学艺术家Julian Goldhagen主持，Moth执行制作人Sarah Austin Jenness也参与了主持。《The Moth Radio Hour》由The Moth和大西洋公共媒体的Jay Allison制作。讲故事者：Isobel Connelly在成长过程中感到自己是个愚蠢的女孩。Saya Shamdasani感到夹在两种文化之间。David Lepelstat对他的初吻感到紧张。Luna Azcurrain和她的祖父创造了一个感恩节传统。Beth Gebresilasie试图保护自己不受家庭不断搬家的影响。播客：651</context> <raw_text>0 在那一刻，我从未像此刻一样为自己是印度人而感到骄傲。我环顾四周，看到了我的朋友和他们的母亲们都在点头，支持着她。在我心里，我想，没错，妈妈，你告诉他。这是一种再次感受到的团结和社区的感觉，是我从未体验过的。我知道人们在我身边，他们以我从未有过的方式支持着我。

所以并不是说我回到学校后，突然变成了那个在午餐时吃印度食物、听印度音乐、穿印度衣服并说印地语的印度女孩。但我开始意识到，我不必假装成我不是的人。我开始捡起那些我曾经放下的自我。

那是Saya Shamdasani，在节目进行时，她是纽约市Trinity School的一名学生。她说她仍然与她在纽约市和印度的印度社区保持着密切联系。Saya的祖母在她讲述这个故事后不久去世了，Saya很高兴通过这个故事让这么多人认识她的祖母。要查看Saya、她的祖母和这次印度之行的芒果的照片，请访问themoth.org。

接下来，我们将继续《The Moth Radio Hour》，带来这场高中展示的最后故事。《The Moth Radio Hour》由位于马萨诸塞州伍兹霍尔的大西洋公共媒体制作，并由公共广播交流（PRX.org）呈现。

这是来自PRX的《The Moth Radio Hour》。我是Sarah Austin-Ginness。迄今为止，成千上万的学生和教育工作者与The Moth共同创作和分享故事。在这一集中，我们将为您带来2020年初在布鲁克林Bell House的现场学生展示。我们的主持人是Julian Goldhagen。谢谢。

好的，我非常兴奋地将这位讲故事者请上舞台。当我们问他，您最珍视的三件事是什么时，他告诉我们，弹吉他翻唱、无论如何保持幽默感，以及拉面。好吧，让我们为David Leppelstein热烈鼓掌！

在我的中学生涯中，我有过许多不同的暗恋。那是我开始对同龄人产生真正感情的时候，但没有人被允许听到任何关于它们的事情。这是因为两个原因。第一个原因：拒绝。我害怕承认我喜欢某个人，而这个人会知道，然后他们不会喜欢我，这对我来说似乎是一个可怕的境地。第二个原因是接受。

我害怕承认我喜欢某个人，那个人发现了这件事，他们可能会喜欢我。那么接下来我们该怎么办呢？我想，哦，也许我们就得约会，然后，哦，怎么回事？我们分手了，我所有的朋友都不喜欢她，而她所有的朋友也不喜欢我，这在当时看起来似乎是很多戏剧。

但随后八年级来了，伴随着八年级的是我最大的暗恋。那是一个叫Rachel的女孩，她坐在我地理课旁边，似乎在我生活中有这样一个时刻，我只为那门课而上学，只为坐在她旁边，与她在地理视频游戏中比赛，看谁能说出更多的国家。她真是太棒了。我们之间有很多内部笑话，我感觉我再也无法压抑这份暗恋了。

幸运的是，我们的中学舞会就在眼前。没错，我上的是一所小型进步中学，我们为八年级学生举办了舞会。所以我想，这是我进入中学浪漫场景的绝佳机会。我会邀请Rachel参加舞会。所以我回家后在谷歌上查找如何邀请某人参加舞会。

我发现了一些叫做“舞会提议”的东西，这些提议就像婚礼求婚，但这次是为舞会而准备的。很多提议都有音乐元素，比如，有人唱歌或跳舞。所以我想，嘿，你知道，我有点音乐天赋。我可以做到。接下来，我在课外等Rachel，手里拿着尤克里里，给她唱了一首歌，邀请她参加舞会。然后...

这有点过火。人们说：“你本可以只送花的。”但她在笑，她似乎真的很喜欢，可能觉得这很可爱。她说：“好。”我想：“哇，这太酷了。”

接下来，我们就在舞会上。主题是海底世界。地板上有充气龙虾。每张桌子都有海藻中心装饰。Rachel和我度过了一个美好的夜晚。我们整晚都在聊天，从未离开彼此的身边。我们甚至让漫画艺术家为我们画了一个卡通肖像，这对我来说感觉是一个很大的举动。这真是一个神奇的海洋之夜。在结束时...

我们拥抱，互道晚安，我走开，心想，嗯，这并没有那么糟糕。这并不可怕。这真的很酷。第二天，我们一群中学舞会的情侣在Emma家聚会。Emma就像我中学朋友圈的首领。我们都在一起看电影《冰雪奇缘》，就像你们所做的那样。在某个时刻，Rachel起身，借口去洗手间。就在那一刻，房间里的所有注意力都转向了我。

Emma站起来说：“David，你有过初吻吗？”我说：“没有。”她说：“哦，Rachel还没有初吻，她明天要去夏令营，整个夏天都不在，她说她希望她的初吻是和你在一起。”哇。我甚至没有想到过吻。这对我来说太疯狂了。然后Rachel就回到房间，大家又恢复了正常，而我却在脑海中想着，这...

我在想，等一下，我确实想和Rachel有个初吻，但这太快了，而且还是个最后通牒。但当我们看电影时，人们开始暗示：“David，也许你应该把手臂搭在她肩上，先做个动作，为今天晚上的吻做准备。”我有点呆滞。但接着《随它吧》这首歌响起...

你知道我做了什么吗？我把手臂搭上了Rachel的肩膀，她微笑着，靠在我身边，这似乎是个不错的举动。我想，好吧，也许我可以做到这个吻。但电影结束时，Rachel突然说：“好吧，我得回家了。”我想，哦，我的天，我要错过机会了。但我想，好吧，我送你去火车站。我跟着她走到门口，大家都在说：“是的！”

所以Rachel和我走向火车站，我觉得这是我在心里同意吻她的时刻。聚会上的每个人也同意，因为我的手机响个不停，简直要疯了。人们给我发短信：“确保你在吻她时把手放在她的腰上。确保你低下身，因为你比她高很多。确保选择一侧。选择一侧靠着。”所以我想，“好吧，弯下身。你更高。手放在腰上。选择一侧。选择一侧。”

就这样，Rachel和我之前的愉快对话似乎消失了。她只是走着，而我则在脑海中沉默不语。我们到达火车站，走到地铁站台，我太紧张了。她在等我做点什么，而我却无法做到。我只好说再见。她说再见，刷了她的地铁卡，旋转门把我们隔开了。

我在想：“哦，为什么要让那些短信影响你的思维？”这实际上是你想做的事情。然后我看了看火车时刻表，发现我还有一分钟，于是我心中涌起一股勇气。我拿出我的地铁卡，准备刷卡，因为爱情值得浪费一次地铁卡的刷卡。

我走到站台上，她开始大笑，我问她：“你为什么笑？”她说：“哦，我紧张的时候会笑很多。”这让我感觉好多了，因为我也很紧张。我问她是否愿意和我一起度过她的初吻，她说：“好。”于是我把手放在她的腰上，低下身，因为我比她高很多。我选择了一侧，选择了右侧。

当火车到来时，我们在嘴唇的侧面轻轻一吻。火车的风吹过我们。这是神奇的。我真的在庆祝这个时刻。但我没有和她一起庆祝。事情发生后，我就跑开了。因为...

没有那种深情对视的时刻，没有那种。没有。我只是离开了火车站，心里想着，如果我愿意把自己放出去，我可以在生活中拥有多少令人兴奋的时刻。我从一个连承认自己喜欢某人的人，变成了用尤克里里邀请女孩参加舞会，拥有了我的初吻，更重要的是，与我喜欢的人建立了真正特别的联系。

我脑海中有很多想法，但其中一个一直萦绕在我心头。我一直在想：“我做到了。”谢谢。David Leplestat是Moth的全市讲故事团队的一员，该团队在周末在Moth办公室聚会，创作故事。David也是我们的教学实习生，他说Moth的教育项目在他上高中的时候是一个温暖的家。

他还告诉我们，他和Rachel仍然是朋友，并且在学校重聚时仍然见面。他说现在他不再上高中，所以没有公共学校的地铁卡，因此他在刷地铁时更加节俭。要查看这场史诗般的海底舞会的照片，请访问themoth.org。我们的下一位讲故事者是Luna Azcurre。她珍视的三件事是冒险、文化和食物。以下是Luna在The Moth的现场表演。

我家里的感恩节并不是典型的感恩节。我的一半家人来自西班牙，所以我们总是给它加上我们的小西班牙风味。我们有土豆饼和蒜虾，而不是你们这里的绿豆砂锅？我不知道。我最喜欢的感恩节部分其实是这个苹果蛋糕。

通常感恩节是在我姑姑家举行，所以我一直以为她是这个蛋糕的主脑。但我实际上发现是我祖父，这让我完全惊讶，因为他从不在厨房。他要么在看法文报纸，要么在看西班牙新闻频道。所以当我发现是他时，我想，一，这是获取食谱的绝佳机会。二，我实际上可以有一个时间和地点与他联系，而在那之前我并没有这样的机会。所以...

从那时起，我会在感恩节早晨早早到来，我们会拿出这本旧食谱书，上面沾满了食物的污渍，我会混合湿料和干料，而他会仔细检查我的测量。

然后我会坐在那里，目不转睛地看着他如何将一个苹果剥成一整条皮，我们会把所有东西混合在一起，然后去咨询我的叔叔关于蛋糕在烤箱中的放置，因为没有人想打扰火鸡的烹饪时间，尽管没有人想吃它。然后几乎瞬间，房子就会散发出肉桂的香味。

苹果的香味，晚上当每个人都得到那厚厚的一片时，我们就会得到一阵热烈的掌声，大家都会说：“哦，我的天，这太棒了，味道太好了。”我和我的祖父会从房间的另一边互相看着，心想：“是的，我们做到了。”这就成了我享受并期待的传统，但随着我长大，他也在变老。

在一个感恩节的早晨，他坐在厨房的桌子旁，我以为他在等着做苹果蛋糕。我在拆购物袋，把苹果放在桌子上，他看着我说：“Luna，你在做什么？”我很震惊。我知道他开始忘记事情，但我没想到他会忘记这个。这是我们的传统，这是我们联结的时刻，这是我们联系的时刻，而他忘记了。

我告诉他：“我们在做苹果蛋糕，你知道的，就是我们总是做的那个。”他问：“苹果蛋糕？你能教我吗？”我现在感到恐惧，因为他曾是我的老师。而现在我必须成为他的老师，因为我不想让这个传统消亡。所以我告诉他，我会教你。当我告诉他我在搅拌糖和鸡蛋时，我把面粉和肉桂放在另一个碗里，然后我们要把它们混合在一起，

我递给他一个苹果，他仍然能一整条皮地剥掉，我想，好吧，也许他记得一点。我们把它放进烤箱，出来时完美无瑕，但整个过程感觉并不一样，因为即使他和我在一起，他也无法像以前那样完全在场。快进到今年，大约三年后，

我在上班的路上，想起感恩节快到了，于是我给我妈妈打电话，告诉她我需要她去买五个最新鲜的格兰尼史密斯苹果。几个小时后，她再次给我打电话，说：“Luna，你的祖父刚刚被送进医院。他需要进行小手术。他会没事的，但我们今年将在医院过感恩节。”

我第一反应是，哦，我的天，他会没事吗？但我的第二反应是，苹果蛋糕怎么办？所以我知道大家都很担心他。于是我决定今年自己做苹果蛋糕，这样我就可以给家人带来一点安慰。

我回到家，看着苹果，完全忘记了一切。我不记得他是切成薄片还是块，是大块还是小块。我用一个苹果测试，绝对无法一整条皮地剥掉。然后在我混合所有东西的过程中，我一直在怀疑自己。我想，这会很糟糕。它不会看起来一样。我在

把它放进烤箱时，我想，这没有他的触感。他不在我身边。这个蛋糕不会一样，因为让它如此特别的是他在那儿，是我们能够一起制作它。而他这次无法做到。

所以当它从烤箱里出来时，我想，我们不带它。这不是蛋糕。我们不带它。但当然，我妈妈坚持。所以我们把它装进袋子，前往医院。当我们进入时，寒冷的空气中弥漫着药水的味道。但当我们到达我祖父的房间时...

周围的人们围着他，创造了一些温暖。我试图偷偷把袋子藏在背后，但我奶奶看到了，她说：“Luna，你那里有什么？”我把袋子递给她，她拿出苹果蛋糕，然后告诉我祖父：“看，Luna做了苹果蛋糕。”他低头看着蛋糕，然后又抬头看着我，微笑着，我感到一阵记忆涌回到他心中，回忆起我们一起制作的每一次。

在那一刻，尽管他在医院，但感觉就像我们又一次一起做了它。我们再次做到了。谢谢。Luna Azkurim出生并在曼哈顿下东区长大。作为一个真正的纽约人，她喜欢在地铁上观察人。

Luna说她已经有一段时间没见到她的祖父母了。他们都在保持社交距离。但她说，他们的FaceTime通话是最好的。她的苹果蛋糕食谱仍然是一个严密保守的秘密，但你可以在themoth.org上看到Luna和她的祖父在厨房里烘焙的照片。接下来是你的主持人Julian Goldhagen，来介绍我们的最后一位讲故事者。当我问这位讲故事者她最珍视的三件事时，她说找到她认为自己失去的东西，

进行一次很好的对话和一本好书。让我们热烈欢迎我们的最后一位讲故事者，Beth Gabersale！当人们问我来自哪里时，我通常只是说这是个长故事。确实如此。我出生在东非一个非常小的国家，叫厄立特里亚。我在那里很喜欢。

天气总是完美。温暖而阳光明媚，总有微风来缓解阳光的照射。我有一小群我爱和崇拜的朋友，我几乎每天都和他们在一起。当我上三年级时，我九岁，我妈妈把我从我们家其他人身边叫了出来。我们站在门口时，她告诉我，她在联合国的工作要调动，我们要搬到苏丹。

我实际上非常兴奋。我喜欢看到新事物。这就是我在苏丹看到的。一个新的地方可以看，新的朋友可以交。我的父母分开了，所以我父亲不得不留在厄立特里亚。在机场，他只是试图抓住我，想要留住我最后的几分，但我太兴奋了，几乎没有说再见。在苏丹，四年级的第一天，我上了校车。

我很紧张，也很急切地想看看事情会如何发展。我坐在一个叫Yasmin的女孩旁边，她转过身来跟我打招呼。我也说了嗨。于是我们成了朋友。苏丹的生活还不错。我学会了阿拉伯语，背诵了国歌，交了一群新朋友。在我的朋友中，我和Rayan最亲近。Rayan非常理解我，她能让我轻松地笑。

我们会玩一个游戏，她用阿拉伯语说得非常快，我会尽量准确地翻译。我确实想念我的老朋友，但我找到了新的安慰感。在六年级快结束时，我和我妈妈在看电视。她告诉我，我们将再次搬家，这次是去弗吉尼亚。我不想去一个新地方。这次，我不想交新朋友。

我花了最后一周的时间和我的朋友们一起哭泣。在我最后一天，我们去了商场。我们做了我们通常做的事情。我们吃东西，喝饮料，看衣服，四处走动。最后，我们都挤在长椅上，一起哭泣。

弗吉尼亚对我失落感的安抚毫无帮助。那时，所有这些年撕裂的友谊对我造成了伤害，我再也承受不住了。我不想交新朋友，然后又离开他们。所以当学校开始时，我没有和任何人说话。在高中，我搬到了纽约市。我厌恶它。

但在许多方面，这让我对选择独处的决定感到更好。因为这次，我没有留下任何人。我在课堂上不说话，午餐时一个人吃。我不想交朋友，只是为了再次离开他们。在十年级时，我妈妈催促我申请犹太遗产博物馆的实习。她注意到我有多孤独，有多受伤，以及我看起来有多绝望。

我反对。我不想和人说话。但经过多次劝说，我申请了。令人震惊的是，我被录取了。在实习的第一次会议上，我甚至不想考虑和任何人说话。但随着时间的推移，保持沉默和孤立自己变得越来越困难。在实习中，我们15个人都必须讨论社会正义和我们自己的遗产。其本质要求脆弱性。

在我们第一次会议中，我们必须带来我们文化的文物并谈论它们。我带了一张传统咖啡具的照片，因为它太大了，无法带进去。我们每个人都提供了不同的东西，我们都敞开了心扉。在敞开心扉的过程中，我们自然而然地建立了联系。通过这次实习，我意识到自己错过了多少。我建立了这些惊人的联系，而我之前却将自己隔绝了。

我想到了那些我没有和他们交谈的人，我只是保护自己不受失去的伤害。实习结束了，那些联系和人们确实淡去了，但他们改变我的方式始终留在我心中，铭刻在我的灵魂里。我学会了在无常中寻找永恒。谢谢。这是Beth Gebrecelase。Beth又搬家了，现在是SUNY New Paltz的大学生，在那里她找到了新朋友。

她想念纽约市，但她说：“我觉得这是一种不断的拉锯，想要永恒，同时又想要不断移动。”

在这里，最后一个想法是Moth的教育高级经理Hannah Campbell。我希望我们能将这个项目带到其他城市。我希望让它更易于接触，也许随着时间的推移在不同城市举办教师研讨会，让更多的教师获得这个机会。当成年人停下来倾听年轻人时，会发生什么？

你知道，世界，我的意思是，世界总是在变化。因此，现在与我们许多人年轻时的情况不同。所以听听年轻人正在经历什么，他们的快乐和乐趣是什么，他们的压力是什么，我认为这非常重要，真的让我们对他们以及他们所面临的事情产生同情，并为我们能够支持他们做好准备。

我还认为这让我们对自己产生同情，并有机会记住年轻时的感觉，记住你知道的，关于我们暗恋的故事，或者我们的舞会，或者我们的舞蹈，或者那些感觉非常重要的事情，因为它们确实是。倾听那个故事也让你有机会内省，记住你自己的故事。我认为这是一个如此美好的机会。这是Hannah Campbell。

有关Moth教育项目、学生故事和我们的免费在线课程的更多信息，以及了解您如何作为教师或学生参与，请访问我们的网站，themoth.org/education。这就是本期《The Moth Radio Hour》的全部内容。我们希望您下次能加入我们。

本小时的主持人是Julian Goldhagen和Sarah Austin-Gines。Sarah还与Michelle Jalowski、Jodi Powell和Chloe Salmon一起指导了节目的故事。Moth的其他导演团队成员包括Catherine Burns、Sarah Haberman、Jennifer Hickson和Meg Bowles。制作支持来自Emily Couch。Moth的教育项目由Jennifer Birmingham、Delia Bloom、Melissa Brown、Hannah Campbell和Julio Chavez领导。

我们还要感谢George Dawes Green和所有Moth的教学艺术家及合作学校。请务必收听Moth播客，了解从5月15日开始的“与Moth共度星期五”的故事，您可以与各个年龄段的朋友和家人分享。

Moth教育项目得到了Kresge基金会、好莱坞外国记者协会慈善信托、Kate Spade纽约基金会和Alice Gottesman的慷慨支持。额外支持来自彭博慈善事业、纽约州艺术委员会、Con Edison和纽约文化事务部。

Moth故事是真实的，由讲故事者记住和确认。我们的主题音乐来自The Drift。本小时的其他音乐来自Blue Dot Sessions、Krungbin、Ivan Rezendez和Percussions。您可以在我们的网站上找到我们使用的所有音乐的链接。《The Moth Radio Hour》由我Jay Allison制作，Vicki Merrick在马萨诸塞州伍兹霍尔的大西洋公共媒体工作。这一小时的制作资金来自国家艺术基金会。

《The Moth Radio Hour》由PRX呈现。有关我们播客的更多信息，了解如何向我们提交您自己的故事以及其他所有信息，请访问我们的网站，themoth.org。