Shownotes Transcript
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Free delivery on a client's purchase is $396 or more. Offer valid April 3rd through April 23rd. U.S. only. See store online for details. David, our guest today. So it was, you're going to have a good time, people. Brett Goldstein, most famously known as Roy Kent, the gruff alpha male on Ted Lasso, which you got two Emmy Awards for. Yes, it was good to talk to another gruff alpha male for me.
It was nice. This dude has done everything. From England, he has done Doctor Who. He has done Derek. I think Derek is the one with Ricky Gervais. And then as of late, he's filming right now a rom-com with J-Lo, which he wrote with a friend of his. And he's doing Shrinking.
with Harrison Ford, Jason Segel, you know, so just nonstop. He has a deal with, we can go on and on. Warner Brothers has a standup special. He writes and produces all these shows and then he's in them and stuff. He'll tell us an interesting story about how he got cast.
Yes, we made him do that story and he was gracious. He's actually talking to us on his break from the movie on a weekend, which was very generous of him. And I had some good laughs with him. Obviously, he's a comedian. So we cracked up, but we dissected the comedy special like we always do and his, which is coming out soon. What is it called, Dana? Yeah.
His comedy special? Oh, that's called The Second Best Night of Your Life. That's right. It's a cool name. HBO. HBO coming out. He's a very curious person as a writer. So he asked us a lot of questions. So bear with that. Yeah. He was kind of curious about our situation. He has a podcast called Films to be Buried With as well.
that's out there. So yeah, he's super busy, highly successful and completely humble. Yeah. So a lot of fun and very humble and asked us questions. So don't get mad about that because I know it was, but it's fun if they're interested and we had a great three-way chat. It was like being at dinner and here he is. Guys, how are you? How are you? Hey, somebody looks like their picture. Nice to see you again. Of course you remember when you met me.
Yes. You do? I remember both. Well, I haven't had a long chat with either of you, and I'm a big fan, but I've introduced David on stage. Oh, yeah. Interesting. I remember that. I told Dana that. We just ran into each other at one of those loud parties. It wasn't a time to...
Hey, I really like Ted Lasso. Really? Yeah, I know Jason Sudeikis. Really? I'll kiss you. I hate those parties, man. That fucking music drives me nuts. Hey, whoa, whoa. I'm coming in hot. What party was it? It was one of the SNL parties.
Yes, that's right. That's where it was. And I wanted to say I love Heather and Terry, but it was too late. I'm exhausted right now because I've looked at all what you're doing out there right now. I'm exhausted because I've read your credits. You've got a lot going on. Yes.
Busy boy. He's like, yes. And that's why I have to jump off right now. Can I ask you a question? Like what, what, I know these are sort of cliche in a sense, but I guess like in 2017, 2018, you were kind of regular famous. You've done some things and then Ted Lasso and you became extra famous. Yeah. What year, how long have you been extra famous? This has been like three years since people are like, Hey, are you?
It was a weird thing where we did lockdown, and when we came out of lockdown, we suddenly were pointed out in the street. Oh, so it was playing the whole time? Just pointed at you. Hey! We were like, what's on our face? If they said to you, if...
This is a deal I would take. We're going to lock you down for two years, but you'll be super famous after. I would say, okay. That's kind of what happened. Kind of a dystopian nightmare. And you just were emancipated from it into love and happiness.
human beings being so excited to see you. Oh, that's a very nice way of thinking about it. How have you two coped with being famous for as long as you have been famous, which is a long, long time now?
David, you go first. We like it when guests ask questions. Yeah. Thank you. I'm glad we got through the Brett part of this interview. You can get a cup of tea, sit back and 20 minutes. How old were you two when you were? My, my,
I got an SNL and I had kind of regular fame. It was in the 80s. But then I had Wayne's World, got an Emmy for doing political impressions. Anyway, I'm just saying everything whooshed up and I was on the cover of Rolling Stone. So for that year, it was peak fame and I found it exhausting.
just basically exhausting because I'm kind of a people pleaser. And so anyone who wanted to give me the time of the, well, sure, you know? So, um, I think I'm David, right? It's David. I think David, David would, um, have a different journey. Mine was very gradual, uh, Brett, because stand up,
middle act wasn't even a headliner when i got on snl did an hbo like young comedian special so i got a drop of attention but got on snl but didn't do that much for a while dana kind of came out of the gate big and i i took a while and then leaving that and then a movie and another movie i think it was uh after snl after some movies and then
a sitcom called just shoot me. And then I got the cover Rolling Stone and the cover Rolling Stone is a very hard one over here. I don't, especially if you're a comedian. So I feel like that was, um, when people say, when were you the most famous? It's such a weird question. And it's always right now because it's accumulation of everything kind of, or people finally caught up to stuff. But,
That was probably the year, because you don't get that a lot, if ever again. So I really felt like that was a fun one. And Dana got one, maybe got two, I don't know. Is this where you two are best friends? Because you've both been on the cover of Rolling Stone. It's part of the club. And if you get on there, we're going to be hanging out a lot. Well, I'm just curious, how's the recognition factor in different countries? Like Great Britain.
compared to Ireland or, you know, because Lasso is Lasso or Ted. I like to shorten the show. Ted is global. So that's a different thing. So where are you the most? I mean, there was like the first year we were only recognized in America, but then I think the second year it then was, it's sort of where I haven't, yeah, it's sort of everywhere because I think it's because it's on YouTube.
Yeah. It's like, I mean, I haven't checked. Did England take any, was there any different feeling than America? America was just sheer joy and bliss. Was England because you were there and your English, is there any different? I thought English people wouldn't take to Ted Lasso because it's,
uh, sincere. So I, I, is that not what plays over there? No, I, you know, I thought they were going to be like, you fucking prick. You sincere. Oh, you're so fucking earnest. Yeah. Oh, I don't like that show. You're so fucking earnest. Is it a lot of comedy is more, uh, insincere. Well, yeah. Or, or, uh,
negative, like as in... Taking the piss out of people. I'll tell you what was a really interesting thing that happened that I learned is I did this show that no one ever saw. It was like an improvised sitcom with David Hasselhoff, where David Hasselhoff came to England and we were like his fake entourage. Off the record. Yeah. Off the record, yeah. And it was really funny. No one ever saw it. It was proper funny.
But what was interesting about it is he, as the American, we were improvising these scenes and he came to us one day and he said, guys, he said, they're making you look like idiots.
And, and I, we were like, yeah, no, it's okay. It's okay. Because. Oh, was he worried about you guys looking stupid in a documentary? And it's okay because. Because we're English. That's the joke. It's meant to be funny. Like as in he wanted us all to be heroes. And I was like, that's such an interesting, like.
All right. It's funnier that you guys are all morons. Well, you guys gave us a Monty Python, you know, so it's kind of like, um, doesn't get any better than that. But I do think, um, first I've philosophical alert. No Ted Lasso, even for America, uh,
The earnestness of it, the sincerity of it took us off guard. You know? Right. Because people told me to watch it. I go, what? Lasso? I don't know. I was like kind of like, I don't know. I would sit on Peach Channel 4. No. So then I watched it and I started seeing it and it was the chemistry and it, you know,
I'm not going to say lightning in a bottle. I'm not going to say that because I don't want to speak in cliches. It might be. A great show is when every single person in the cast is the only person you can imagine playing that part. And Ted Lasso had that across the board, in my opinion.
That's very nice. I feel the same way about Just Shoot Me. Can I ask you... Is that a callback? Did it make it over there? Oh, you saw the show? Yeah, yeah. It was on Late Night in England. It was on BBC 1285. Yeah, it was on BBC 1285. Still getting the checks, eh? Shit, God, I'm glad you saw Just Shoot Me. It gives me some legitimacy on this call. Thank God. Yeah. Tell me this. I want to know about you two. Have
Have you done stand-up or shows in England? No. I've been invited, but never lined up. But I... How does... I don't know if it would work. Why are you scared? We are scared. I'm scared. For sure. Why won't you come? They'd love you. I just don't know if my shit would work. Well, first of all, London's my favorite city. I've been there several times. I love everything about it.
The West End, you know. Eiffel Square. Yeah. Eiffel Square. All the biggies. The pyramids. Leicester Square. This is, you know, okay, I have to ask. These are just arithmetic questions. But so you got this special.
That's coming out in a couple of weeks. Second best night of your life. I like the title. That's a good title. Always hard to get a title. Yeah. Spade's got one coming out called Dandelion. Always hard. Good title. I saw the trailer and the title was explained in the trailer and I was like, respect. Yeah, because I'm a puss. No one would guess that. Where did you shoot the special? Oh, in New Jersey.
New Jersey. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I had a Bergen theater, did you? At the PAC. Okay. Bergen. And how many people? It was 2,000 or what? Two shows one night? Two shows one night. Love it. So pre-pandemic, you're playing clubs, is that right? Yeah, clubs in like 50 seats. Yeah.
kind of my favorite size you can't make money but I like a 50 seater yeah yeah yeah you know what I mean but so then now you're your life has just went this last five years it really did but I but I I think I was I was sort of this is why I'm asking when you what age you were because I was quite I was 38 when I did LASA I think okay okay I'd been going I'd been doing all of this at a low level for a long long time so I think
I just didn't expect any of it. But then when it happened, it was like, well, I'll be dead soon. So I've made the most of it. I think it must be nice to go. If you're 38 and you're doing pretty well,
And you probably go, it probably would have happened by now. And the odds get higher that, I mean, you can be famous, but then you to have a game changer. Yeah. It's very rare. Exactly. Yeah. I'd long given up on sort of a big thing happening. Yeah. I thought when I got SNL at 31, I'd been in the clubs for 10 years and I'd auditioned for SNL several times in clubs and just thought it was sort of over. Yeah.
A lot of things had to come together. They were recasting and long story short, I got it at 31. And then the show was really on a low point, but by it happened to be the shit we had to rescue. Let's just take this guy. We can't lose. It wasn't easy. I thought I was going to turn the lights out because every pilot I'd ever done, every show I'd ever done, it failed. Yeah.
So I didn't want to turn, Oh, you can turn it out now. Okay. That's eight H. Dana, turn the light out on the way out. Franchise. What else have you got? So I was around that age 36 when I started to make extra money and be extra famous. And, um, I found it, it's a Faustian deal in some ways over time. Um,
Do you have a financial planner kid? He's got a printing press. I would say this. Um, and I don't think I've ever expressed this. I'll just do it very quickly. Is that,
At some point, you want a wall of money that's giving you income, not risky investments, not real estate, but liquidity, bonds or something that is giving you a wall of income. So in 10 years from now, you never go on Ben to D. You never have to do anything you don't want to do. Your career so far seems like you're in command and control because you're the executive producer. You're the writer. You wouldn't have those issues.
But whatever money you think you want, you just want to be completely done by 50. So you have nine years, eight years? Okay, I'm going to play back this podcast and I'm going to have to write out what you just said because you lost me at bonds. Well, it doesn't matter about bonds. Mailbox money. Just money that comes in when you're not working so that you can pick and choose your projects. That's all. But I think you already...
Most stand-ups just do stand-up and try to get hired. I mean, you got a big deal with Warner Brothers. I mean, you're already in charge. I think you're doing perfect. I take back what I said. You don't need my advice. I really am listening to all of it. The missing child is Lucia Blix, nine years old. Please, let her come back home safely. Thursdays, the kidnappers plundered meticulously. If money is what it takes to get her back, we're going to pay it.
The secrets they hide... You can't talk about this. You can't write about it. ...are the clues... The mother's hiding something. I know it. ...to find her. Tell me where she is. The Stolen Girl, new episodes Thursdays, stream on Hulu. I have a question for you both about SNL that I'm curious about.
Because I've spoken to Bill Hader and I've spoken to Jason and I've spoken to a couple of other people and everyone tells me. When I spoke to Bill Hader, I said to him how he was making Barry at the time and he was like writing, exec-ing, directing, producing, all of it. And I said, how do you cope with the pressure of that? That's such a huge, huge undertaking.
And he said, anything's easier after SNL. And I wonder if you two feel this way. Like the machine of SNL seems to me so fucking insanely stressful and sort of the ego of it week by week that you could be in a sketch, then you're not in a sketch and you're the king for a night and it's gone and then
week on week. How did you feel about that? Bill, who's one of the greats of SNL, we all love, I think maybe what he's saying is that at that point, you're on the upswing and you're trying to get to a level where you're not going to give up on showbiz. Everything's going on. You've all been in that position. We've all been where, am I going to do this forever? Because I just barely, barely making it
And that's the stress of SNL. You're going to get fired every year. No one's treated preferentially, really. And you keep writing and keep proving yourself. With Barry, maybe, which sounds such a hard undertaking, is...
He's already got to this point and he's been given something and now it's just not fun, but fun and hard. But maybe, maybe there's something I can't imagine something that hard. Um, SNL was horrible, but it's in the past, but the new thing would seem harder. Like, okay, it's right in front of me. I got to make this work, which luckily he did. Uh, uh, Dana, what do you think? Well, I would say all that is true. It's an emotionally violent sport, SNL. Um,
But over time, if you write your own sketches and get some friends together, it might help out, but it's coming from you.
And then there's no time for someone to overthink. It was great for my ADD brain. There was no real direction. You direct yourself. The directors are trying to get the shots by the seat of their pants. And so it, you're a master of your fate in some ways. There's whimsy to that, but then you, you have control. And so when I, when I walked off, I,
I didn't have the confidence. I was being offered multi-millions to do a couple of films that were complete mistakes, you know, because then going from complete control to no control, a hundred takes, they edit the way they want. I did this thing in a scene, which I thought, okay, I nailed this. I looked at the monitor, saw it in the film. It's been cut to pieces. What I love about your resume so far is that you're not, you're Bill Hader. Bill Hader bet on himself.
He could have made a Stefan movie. Let's just say 15 million. Sure. He could have stayed at SNL or done another variety show. He bet on himself. He just said no. And now he's like, he's a, he's a Cohen brother or he's Kubrick. Do what he wants. The second or he's a Paul Thomas. So what you're doing is already fantastic. You're, you're making shows. You're in control. And the only time I've been really unhappy in show business, like truly unhappy is being on a set or in a project.
where you look over at the brain trust around the camera and you're like, oh, we're fucked. Yeah. This is not going to work. You can tell right away it's not working. So just do what you've been doing. You're in charge of your brain.
So far, this podcast is really lovely. So thank you very much. We're going to transcribe it. Well, don't let them dangle a shiny arm. You make it so popular that you're tempted to do some movie you don't want to do because all of a sudden it's whatever cartoon money would be. And the money is only about freedom. The only reason to have money, from my mind, is to have freedom. Freedom to work or not work. Freedom to how to work.
By the way, I'll just ask you, do you have shiny things that speak to you like watches, cars? Do you live, which is totally fine. That's the, again, the beauty of it is I don't, I never, I always made enough before this all happened. I always made just enough. I made enough to pay my rent. I made enough to go to the cinema, which I like doing it. And I made enough for black t-shirts, which is all I wear. That was it. And so when all this, look at us.
Oh, God. All I need is a cover of Rolling Stone and we can be a gang. I can't afford that shit. Why? This one might be- I have a stupid regular shirt on. Oh, I have a good question for him, Dana. Watch this. Watch this. That's good. Fastball coming in. Okay. Brent. That's your real name. Brent. So, Brent. It's Brent.
If England is doing an SNL. Yeah, they are, right? England is doing SNL, Dana. Did you know this? Yeah, I did read about that. That's a big story we haven't talked about enough. Obviously, I don't think you would want to be on it as a cast member, but what are your thoughts about that? That sounds right. Because I was thinking, what's the equivalent of SNL over there? And then I just thought, oh, wait, I think they're doing one. They're doing one. They just announced it. Yeah, I think there are so many fucking great stuff
sketch comedians and comedians in England that it could be amazing. I think for years, everyone has tried to do an SNL and failed at it. So I think making an actual SNL might be the answer. Instead of a knockoff. Yeah. Instead of going like Sunday morning, I've recorded. They're always trying. And I've noticed, I think what they've always made the mistake of is
They go to like the Edinburgh Festival and they find a sketch group and another sketch group who aren't friends, don't know each other. And they go, they sort of mix and match random people. Whereas I think if they go to the groups that have chemistry and have built something and put them in stuff and give them some autonomy, I think it could be amazing. It could be.
I think that's a good observation. I think on SNL, John Lovitz, when I was there, knew Phil Hartman and Jan Hooks knew these writers and there was a chemistry that started right away. Yeah, you need it right away. You because that first first viewing people be like, is this any good?
That's the pressure. They don't go, you know what? We'll get it gelled around show 15 and they're like, we're gone. So that's the scary part, the pressure, get it right, right away. And if you have people that work together, that would help. Like they come in with something. You've got to have a, it's such a weird thing. It's such a ephemeral thing, but.
I like SNL because it's like the Muppet Show, right? It is a gang show. And it is the chemistry. Dana was Fozzie Bear for sure. It's a sporting event. But the thing about it being live is that it's obliterated all the competition. We used to have so many, mostly tape, but variety shows were huge, I assume in England as well, in the 60s and 70s.
Now they've all disappeared. I tried one in primetime. Martin Short did. All disappeared. There is no live 90-minute comedy show with a really cool band and maybe a movie star or football player host. So...
you know, stay to that, have, have a, an athlete host. You just do the, do all that. But you guys between Ricky Gervais, I'll just loop, leap around here. Peter Sellers, of course. And I already mentioned Monty Python. It's one of your biggest exports is comedy. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's, I'd be really interested if they fuck it up. I don't know the, the facts, the backness of it. As in, if, if Lauren's involved, I don't know. Like if it's like,
Would they ship a Tina Fey over to help get it going? I don't know what extent they would be involved because it's a very complicated show to do and there's got to be some shortcuts of people that have done it forever that can help alleviate the full-on stress it would be. Would you go? Yeah.
Yeah, let's go. I would go. No, I don't think I'm good enough. Dana might be good. Dana should be the first host to sort of tie it all together. I would go. I would just stay with, I mean, there's two lanes of that show. One lane is that you're seeing some unknown people, comedians, come on the show. And so you're watching them evolve and you're kind of rooting for them and seeing them find the audience, get more confident. And that is a reality show. When the show bombs,
so to speak. It should be just as interesting as when it kills because it's live. Oh, this sketch is balmy. And, you know. It's kind of fun for the audience. Jake is the guest host and he's really, he's horrible right now.
Oh yeah, he could be the first guest host too. Sorry Dana, you're pushed out. We've already had Jake. Your second week. And then an athlete or someone who's never done comedy in their life is forced to do sketch comedy. So if they do it, great. That's another secret sauce. You have a lot of those over there. You could do that. Those are two. And then constantly have Paul McCartney sing Let It Be. Every week. And J-Lo.
Yeah, every week. Oh, to promote the movie. We got to hurry up and get this SNL going, though. Tell me, what's your secret when you're bombing? If the sketch isn't working, what do you do?
Do you feel... No, Dave is bombing if he's on stage. Well, Will Ferrell famously... No, I could easily... That show can go south in a second, you know, because it's so under-rehearsed and live, the audience can be weird. Yeah, yeah. Will Ferrell is famously the most... Like, if a sketch starts to bomb, his commitment goes up exponentially. Goes harder, yeah. And so, yeah, you just sort of...
it's all madness, but it's, it's very much under rehearse and, and there's rewrites right before you go on. And it's, you know, you're going to get it right off the cue card, but that's what gives it this, this, this chemistry, this excitement, you know? So, and,
And live from London just sounds funny to me. It's a little bit like The Clash. London calling. Maybe that should be the theme, but live from London. You know, it's like, is there any other town it could be from out there? Live from Liverpool. Live from Birmingham. It has to be London. It has to be London. London calling. Yeah, you're frozen, but with a thumbs up, like you're really pleased about it.
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Roll ball or Lonzo ball for buzz balls. Ready to go cocktails. Take 12. Buzz balls just dropped their biggest blue balls. Script says Biggie's blue balls, Lonzo. Take 13. Blue balls just dropped their biggest buzz balls. Let's try a vocal exercise. Buzz balls, Biggie's blue balls. Buzz balls, Biggie's blue balls. Big balls just dropped. Get blue balls this season now.
Films to be buried with. Been doing that for years. Yes. And it's really the premise of, and I did think about it, movies that affected you.
It's like the film that made you cry the most, the film that scared you the most, the sexiest. Exorcist scared me the most. Yeah. 2001 A Space Odyssey at 13 in a Cinerama Dome in Seattle blew my mind, basically. Wow.
didn't know, didn't have any precursor. Like, what is this about? And everything about that movie. I actually, a few years ago, they were going to, they did the 50th, whatever anniversary. And I saw it six times over two months at the arc light theater in LA. It's just kind of a spiritual experience. Yeah. Um, it's a meditative experience and I don't know why Kubrick, how he kind of does that. What is the secret of the off kilter? Um,
acting kind of you know how and the casualness they're getting the sandwich in the spaceship and all they know is this thing's better there's some magic to that film for sure i think it's a wonderful life um i don't know why but even if i bring this up in casual conversation i get choked up he's back he's back we're talking about it's a wonderful life talking about oh yeah
It's where they say that his life, the angel, he sees what it'd be like if he wasn't born. And then he's euphoric and the townspeople show up and someone says to his character, we heard George Bailey was in trouble. That always stuck with me. We heard you. And I've always teared up about that when I bring it up. You don't have to tear up now. I could a little bit. You are. There's something about that.
So what about you? What movie? Yeah, Start Crying. What scared you the most besides Tommy Boy? Did you see The Exorcist?
I did see, you know what? I saw the exes when I was young and I thought it was stupid. And then I watched it. You got scared later. Yeah. I got scared like a year ago when I watched it. I was like, Oh my God, that is so scary. I didn't think it was scary when I was little. I would never watch that. How old were you when they saw it? I was like six. And I was like this stupid little girl with a spitting head. That's just this bullshit. That's interesting. Dana, ask him about, I will. Cause I can't, I'm too embarrassed. Um,
uh ask him when he did that audition which he's probably talked about for ted lasso did you film it alone in your room i have to hear every goddamn detail it's so funny well just set the table for your writer on ted lasso there's a part and you're thinking maybe i'm right writer on ted lasso i love it i know you've probably told the best thing you've ever done embellish it this time let's get some details give us extra i will give you i'll give you one one extra detail i don't usually give uh uh
We're writing it. I get the thought that I think I could do Roy Kent, but I know not a single person in the room is thinking that. Everyone. And I know that if I say it out loud, everyone will be like. Embarrassing. I love it. It's embarrassing. You know who would be good for this? Yeah. That's how you start. If we can't find anyone, I don't think we can find anyone. You know who's actually super talented? You know, what if he had really big eyebrows?
Just to get out there, but to get out there anyway, I wait till we finish writing and then I make a self tape. But what I did with the self tape, I went to mosaic, which is my manager's office and they like do. Oh, in LA. Yeah. Yeah. It was in LA. So that's where we were. Oh, okay. And, uh,
And, you know, I don't know if you've done this, but they have like whoever the assistants are at the time, they can read in with you and they can. All right. So I did my scenes with this.
Norwegian guy who was like an intern. So the scenes I'm acting with Keeley in the original self-tape, it's me going like, "Keeley!" And Keeley's like, "Hello." - He's a dude? - And not even an actor. - Yeah.
A sort of deadpan Norwegian man was playing Keane. And I recorded five scenes and I flew back to England. I finished my contract and I flew back to England. And when I got on the plane, I sent Bill Lawrence the tape and I said, thanks for everything. I said, look, I've been thinking I could play Roy Kemp, but I appreciate that no one's thinking this. This is really embarrassing.
If this is shit, I will never ask you about it. We can pretend this never happened.
but if this is good, here's the tape. And then when I landed, it was like an overnight flight. When I landed, I got an email saying, this is fucking awesome. I'm going to send it. Oh, really? Wow. Well, I want to have a question about this because the character that you play and like, we're getting to know you now. So you really did like the body language is,
It's so funny and interesting of Roy Kent, you know, and also obviously you went lower, a little more gravelly and he's sort of an alpha alpha type character, you know? So did you have that in the audition tape or did that evolve as you kind of got on the set? I think I had the posture in the tape because I knew he, it was all based on a load of things, but I knew he was like a guy who had been told since little shoulders back.
head forward, like he'd been told that. And that he was leading, like he's ready to headbutt someone at all times, so he's leading. But the voice, the voice was like halfway there in the self-tape, I think. And they wanted you to play it up? No, I just felt right once I was there with, once you're sort of faced with, it's funny because, you know, I'd done this tape with a Norwegian guy in a room, but then suddenly he
there's 20 men and you have to be super. Yeah. Oh, tougher. Dominant. Yeah. So what was the line? I mean, what, what did he say? Something had to happen. I think it was in the audition tape and in the show or I'm going to start punching something. Yeah. Silence. Well, I'm going to start punching dicks.
And how would Roy, you don't have to do the carry. You want me to do it? I feel like you're impressed with it. I don't know. I don't know. Now you got me on this line. I use that line when I'm waiting too long at Cheesecake. We're going to be silent in here. I'm going to start punching dicks. I'll punch your dick. Line him up. You're a fucking dick. So you get to swear. Balls are next. I remember Sandler did a movie. Sorry.
uh with paul thomas anderson i go god you're so good in that he goes carvey i got to swear you know so fun so you're you're yourself you're on the phone what the fuck and so your character how many swear words per episode are you allotted someone did count it i think it's in the hundreds it's in the hundreds of seasons
You got a real Nora on your hands. What about, do you swear in your standup? I don't even remember. Yes, I do, yeah. Oh boy. Ooh. I found that interesting when I started doing gigs in America, like smaller gigs when I was first coming out here and they'd be like, do you have a clean set? And I was like, what's a clean set? That's so true. We don't have that division in England. We just, it's just standup. Everyone's dirty. Yeah.
Yeah. But it's also like, what do you mean a clean set? Isn't this an adult evening out? Right. But some clubs want it clean. That's funny. Or some headliners, if you, when I used to open a middle,
they'd say, keep it clean. And I'm like, huh? So I always sort of looked at a clean tip because you were also eyeballing doing Letterman or doing a late night show and you had to be clean. So your manager would say, you're wasting it because you can't do that bit. And I'm like, right. The level of what you can do on a late night talk show is kind of, but so what's the, as far as your special coming out, what's the, what's the bit that is the bluest? Well,
We call it blue. I've got a five-minute bit about the C word and how America is scared of it. Oh, Brett. Oh, my mom just called. She goes, oh, you don't need that. We know that about... My mom doesn't like my own act. I like Dana. He's clever and he's fun. I'm nice and clean and cheerful. Oh, you know, come on. Are you clean? You're clean. Your stand-up's clean? Dana? Nice clean boy? Um...
For the most part, there's certain jokes that's kind of...
you know, where the punchline is, fuck you or use this fuck. Right. And then I go, okay. And Jerry Seinfeld doesn't like that. Try to rewrite it where you don't need the word, you know, what do you need it for? Was that Seinfeld? Seinfeld with a little garble in the back. Fucking Eeyore. Yeah. We also both do corporate gigs, me and Dana and,
When they say do an hour, do 45 minutes and keep it clean. That's another way we work. And if like I watch Dana on these, we do them together sometimes. He's not a hundred percent clean, but you don't even notice it. The whole tone, the whole vibe is like fun. And it's really because they said,
One guy told me, he goes, we just say that because Martin Lawrence did 20 minutes on eating pussy. And I'm like, oh, okay. Well, we get where the line is. That's where the line. Okay. I get. So somewhere under. Yeah, I got it. But that's what they're fearful of. Something happened once where people complain and you go, I got it. You won't even notice I'm dirty. It's like so goofy. My goal is to get them to laugh at minutia that's been wound down into madness.
and get them to go with that for an extended period of time. And that's its own sort of pornographic, you know, I mean, you must have bits in your act that maybe you get more laughs than you think they deserve or less laughs or ones that you think are the most challenging for the audience in the sense of how abstract they are or, you know, everything is all the above. That's very interesting. I guess, I guess, yes, there was, there would be stuff I wouldn't do if it were a corporate gig for sure. And I, yeah,
But I still am like, I think I just fundamentally...
object to the idea of here is 200 adults in a room and because it's corporate they don't want anything rude. Can they handle it? Yes, you can handle it. I'm like, but they're still people. I think they'll probably really enjoy it. I do want to do 10 minutes on eating pussy. I do get that. Everybody has that bit. We've all got that in our back pocket. The audience wants it
unbridled, but there's always people, there's the CEO, the company, and then there's the people who've been hired. And so they just don't want to HR department, but the audience by and large, they're adults in America in 2025. What if they haven't heard? Yeah. Yeah.
It's about people complaining, getting sued and saying, I was so offended. I was shaking. It's like, Oh, because of Brett's filthy act. Okay. Stop thinking about eating pussy after that. I couldn't stop. I couldn't start doing it again. It's not too late to drop in a bit, go to the comedy store and just insert it into your special and just say, I don't know why I thought of this, but when you tape this, which I think is out now, uh,
April 26th, I believe. So I think it's out now because we don't know what day it is today. Oh, we don't know what day it is. I think it's out. Anyway, we'll see. But Brett, is there, did you, I just did mine and all you want to do is have one of your best crowds. I mean, they're obviously coming to see you, but the cameras sometimes throw people and it turns into a pretty good crowd.
Yeah. How was yours? Tell me, tell me. Mine was, I did two. I did the same kind of thing too. One night, I think when you're Sandler and you've got an almost unlimited budget, he was just taping almost everywhere. He went small, big, really thought out. He, he pictured like a movie and I think PTA was involved in one of them and maybe the safety. So, so he's got a lot going on and a lot of fun and it's fucking great. So,
I'm doing the more common to a night, but yeah, I went to Denver, which is a great comedy town. And, uh, I did come out the last one I did. The crowd was tougher, but they were masked and I wasn't sure of that. And when I went out, I, they sounded muffled, which is a good, you know, they were wearing masks. You know what they said? We can do it. Minneapolis. Austin says, no, uh,
And they said, Netflix isn't agreeing to do it with Austin because of the parameters, but the parameters were they wouldn't wear masks. And I didn't know what the parameters were. I go, oh, but we can still do it. They go, yeah, we'll just do your next gig in a,
Minneapolis will just sell two shows. And then I was so in the zone about my own shit. I was like, Oh no. Cause the opener wasn't doing as well. And I'm like, do not give me a rough crowd tonight, please God. Yes. And so, uh, that was the, but this one was obviously unmasked and super fun. So I, I got lucky. Also, you have two shows that people don't know. You're sort of combining the two shows. Sometimes you use most of one because sometimes you just hit one way better. What did you do more of a combination? Well,
Well, I had that experience. Everyone had said to me, oh, your special crowds are just, they're so up for it. It's going to be amazing. And then that first crowd, you can tell, right? You can tell by the announcement. Yeah. Yeah. Anything. You just walk out. By the cheer. Yeah. And that first crowd.
There was so much stuff and there was so, you know, wires everywhere and there's stuff in the way. Camera's pushing around. Yeah. And I think it does throw them. And like the seven o'clock is quite early, you know, and that was the first show. A little early. They're not drunk. They're just wide-eyed. Yeah, and I did the offstage thing and they went, yay. And I thought, uh-oh. All you got was a yay? Yeah.
Yeah, I know. That's funny. Also, they bring them in a little earlier for that early show. So they're sitting forever. I don't think there's booze.
they don't want to see i mean unless you specifically ask and then they're seated with the technical issues they can't get up use the bathroom and stuff yeah yeah yeah and then yeah i never have shot one that i felt was anywhere near the sets i did before that but practice so um the late show was was excellent crap like then i was like okay we're good we've got we've got something with it i
I mean, they were really good. They were really good. They were both very good. I'm very grateful to all of them. Yeah, of course. I'm grateful anyone shows up. When I did this, we did a show in Minneapolis that when I taught and that was the best crowd I've ever. Oh, see, that's why I said that'd be good. What theater were you in?
Did the Guthrie or the Paramount maybe? No, that was done. I'd have to go to my calendar. Cause they do have, we'll give you 20 minutes. Could you give me 35 minutes? I love when you said you wrote Ted Lasso in LA. I pictured you in a castle in England, anything in England. I feel like it's a castle. Anything where the British accent seems smarter, more sophisticated, you know,
We've seen all your movies all these years. I always tell Dana, if I'm famous, I'll go over there. But I went there for one day and I wasn't too sure. We went for Grown Ups, that movie, and we all went over there and stayed at the Soho. What's up? There's a gig in London that's the best gig in London called Always Be Comedy. The man who runs that gig, James Gill, he is obsessed with you, David Spade.
I'm telling you off camera, I might hit you up and say, Hey, tell me about this thing. And I might go do it sometime. He can't believe I'm doing this podcast. Like he's so excited. And he said, get him up, get him to do my gig.
Like you will, you will be very famous in that room. Took you 44 minutes to get to this, but this pitch, but thank you. And I might hit you up. So unblock me and I'm going to hit you on Instagram. And then all my messages flood through. Once you unblock me, I'm like, dude, I just saw you in the parking lot. The improv. Why did you drive away as I was chasing after you? I really just have to look at my act. Like,
You know, you might, because I didn't get a chance to hear your whole hour, obviously, but
I have to wonder the big subjects work overseas, politics, marriage, relationships. And when I look at my act, I've got to see what I have to throw out because I just don't know, you know? Well, also, but there's much more. Everything's fucking everywhere right now. Like I think the stuff you're scared wouldn't work would work. I should just try it and see what happens because I'll blame them.
Everybody looks at Daily Mail because it's crack cocaine for the brain. They sift through the commercials and try to look at an article. By the way, do you have enough money for Daily Mail Plus? That's a real question. Dana, they just added a plus. It's $1.99. I know. I told them to get fucked. Fucked.
Are you still quoting 30-year-old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now. It pays to discover. Learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report.
So, by the way, you're doing a movie with Jennifer Lopez currently, right? Yes. Yeah, we're filming at the moment, yeah. Do you know what it's called? I do. You tell me. It's called Office Party. Office Romance? Office Time. Office? Yeah.
It's called Office Schmoffus? Meet you at the office. What's it called? Meet you at the office. It's called Office. Yeah, so is it a rom-com? Be honest. It's a rom-com. Nice. It's a big, cool rom-com. So this is you stepping outside the lines unless you wrote and produced this film. No, I did. I did co-write this with Jay Kelly and...
And do you play Roy Kent in this? This is a lot of people are asking. No. Okay. He plays Ted Lasso. He plays Ted. I play Keely Jones in this one. J-Lo in my brief encounters with her is quite sweet and funny. Is this true? She's so funny. She's very, very funny. And she's always friendly. Brilliant, brilliant.
comedy actor like underrated like when you see her live i'm like fucking hell you're good at this like she's a really really good comic actor so you wait you just said you wrote it with your friend is that what you said yes joe kelly and so you get you get that get up on its feet yeah and then you figure out who's the leading lady who's the rest of it where you shoot that's all you're in on all that that's great yeah yeah yeah we wrote it on a on a train while i was making ted lasso
We sort of had the idea. Did you think of calling it Office Train? We did. We thought of calling it Office Station. Yeah, you could all do it. It could all be played on the train. How did you try to make it spin? How did you spin it? Because it is a genre. What's the sort of rough pitch? The hook is, I suppose, I can't tell you much, but I can tell you the aim is it's like a really proper...
Classy old school rom-com like a Nora Ephron type film, but with hard jokes. Oh, okay. Oh, good. Good. Any aliens?
Okay, good. That's another good hook. Is it too late for David to do a nice little cameo? He walks in. What about the guy that steals the girl? Is that part taken? That's me, dude. What else could you bring at this very late stage? That's it. That's my only move. The good-looking, dashing dude runs in and she glances at me and sprints.
toward me. Hey, this dude, I didn't know about this guy. He was on the planet. Bye-bye. So I think rom-com with R rated is interesting. I can't really think of one. So I like that idea. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds more real.
Yes, hopefully. I think it's going to be good. I like that. Yeah. So of your two children, Ted Lasso and Shrinking, which one's your favorite? Get off my couch. Get off my couch, Chewy. I'm not Chewy. You're Chewy to me. That's Harrison Ford, if you don't know him. I love that show, and I love Harrison Ford in it. He's my wife. I love that show.
You can't see our shaking fingers. That's a big part. I know. No one gets mad like Harrison Ford. He's so good, man. My wife! That's my favorite thing. Chewy, your tics got in my soup again. Chewy, get me out of here! Shut the fuck up, Chewy! Oh? Oh?
He should be Chewy-Doo like Scooby-Doo. Like a collab. So we're entertaining, Brett. Chewy had sex with Scooby-Doo. I guess I'll give up. You can go anywhere you want. You're going to play Hercules, potentially. You did a cameo, and now you're in the Marvel Universe. Well, I mean...
Gun to head, I can't say anything, but at the same time, I think that's probably it on that one. Okay. I like gun to head. Because I thought, what's the difference between Hercules and Roy Kent? One is a Greek god, and the other one is a hairy guy from Tutankhamun. Yeah. From T-T-B-R-O-M. That's a good answer. What's your favorite soccer team called? Tottenham or something? Tottenham, yeah. How'd you know that?
Who have you been speaking to? I did talk to my soccer buddy, Bobby, and I said, because I have a Tottenham shirt. Oh, do you? Yeah. I don't even know why, but oh, he gave it to me. And so I wear it. And if people ask me one question, I fall apart.
So I just like to puff up. Is Brendan Hunt dating Hannah Waddington? Are you reading that off the internet? Is Brendan Hunt dating Rebecca? Oh, Rebecca. That's right. No, no. Hannah Waddington is her real name. Is Brendan Hunt dating Rebecca Waddington? Do you mean... Hang on. What's the question? Yeah.
I don't know. He doesn't know. He's reading the internet or something. I'm looking. I've got, well, who's the bad apple on the bunch in that cast? In Ted Lasso. Oh, he's a difficult one. No, you said in Ted Lasso? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Who's the bad apple in the cast? There genuinely isn't one. And I know that's an annoying answer, but like, I don't think. Who's the most difficult to work with? Go ahead.
Dana on this podcast is the most out of us too Juno Temple is coming back to play Keeley Jones right
That's correct, yes. I believe so. Gun to head. Is there a girl named Keely on the show? Yes. Keely, yeah. And there's someone named Keely? She's the love editor. There are people in the world called Keely, yeah. Is that a common name over there? There's not one person here named Keely. Really? You have no Keelys? Zero. We got a couple of Keelys. Yeah, you got too many. Were the negotiations tough to get the cast to come back or were you guys locked into a certain salary already? We'd all signed like
contracts in the early days, you know, forever and ever. So they pick up? Yeah, I think so. Oh, that's good. Makes it easier. Yeah. Saves time. How long did you do Just Shoot Me? How many years was that? That was... Calls in your court. Well, we did six as a mid-season replacement, they call it out here. And then we went straight through. The old days was 22 episodes a year. So we did about a little over six years. My God. 148.
Did you? I love it. It went over there, right? Is that where you saw it over there? Yeah, I saw it in England. Oh, I love it. Love it. Did you, what was your trajectory on that show in terms of enjoyment? Did you always enjoy it? Was there a bit in the middle where you were like, I've had enough of this and then you enjoyed it again or what? No, you know, I came from SNL and it was options like Dana said, you could do your own show like the David Spade goofy sitcom, but I had seen that if it didn't work, all your heat's gone. They don't give you another try. Yeah.
So it was an ensemble, a writer from Larry Sanders, Steve Levitan, and a good cast. And the network already liked it. I joined. They added me to a shot pilot. So we reshot it and added me because NBC was a little fuzzy on, they were on the, you know, back and forth with it. So I got added to it and I liked it the whole run. I have to say that it was one of the most fun runs because everyone, everyone,
They were writing for me, which at SNL was not exactly the case. They did in some, but you were sort of in charge of it. And then you've got everywhere you go is good people like on your show, I'm sure. And that's always more fun. And then also it was a little easier than SNL, the hours. And it was immediately in a top 20 or top 10. And we were in a heyday of Seinfeld and ER and Will and Grace and Friends and Frasier. And so-
We, we were at least in the vicinity. We weren't those shows, but we were with them on the lot with them. And it was just all fun to see just a good run. I loved it. We, and the last thing, and then I'll let you talk at the very end is we had done, everyone had had something in their career was good and bad. And so everyone was really happy to be there and lucky and appreciated. And I think some shows, um,
people get cocky because it's their first show and it works and so they get sort of out of control but we were like we're every year we got picked up we're like this is so great because it could all go down to shit everyone knew it what was your last day like tearjerker of course bawling um if i knew we were going to do it again in a year that would have been fun for me yeah but um
I guess yours isn't really a reboot because it's sort of just keep going, right? Yeah. That's been a big gap. And then we'll don't tell us any secrets, but you got Bill Lawrence is great. The women's team that got out Ted does. So it makes it sort of puts a spin on it. He's not nodding or shaking his head. He's giving us nothing. I've got a gun to my head. Remember? I know. I think this is the good thing on Marvel also is they don't even say when they're releasing their movies anymore. It's smart.
They say we did a big one last week. You guys missed it. And we're like, you're too secretive about it. What else for this young man, Dane? I know you had a lot, but we got to let him go. And we appreciate you, by the way, Brett, you're shooting a movie. You come in on the weekend, you help us out. We wanted to talk to you for a while. So thank you very much. I appreciate you both very much. And I'm genuinely grateful I got to hang out with you. This is very, very cool for me. So thank you for your time.
I want you to see me in better lighting, but that'll be, you know, it's fun to see someone on TV playing a character, you know, and then meeting you like this. It's, it's just interesting because all I knew was that, you know, character. Yeah. Um, so it's, uh, I see why you won the Emmys compliment alert. Good job. Compliment alert. Sorry. Uh, back to back.
Yeah. It's a super compliment. But anyway, I mean, I can't, it's your podcast, uh, films to be buried with. Um, you know, and you have time, you should both come and do it one day. I would love to have you, but no pressure. There's nothing worse than being asked to do a podcast. You're off the hook, but if you ever want that one in a second, I could talk about movies all day long, you know, but I want to know the movie before we go for you. That moved you the most.
Well, I talked to, like, E.T. I find traumatic. Like, I cried the most. Like, I remember my dad taking me and my sister, there was like a re-release of E.T. And I was three, four, I don't know, four or five. He took us to see E.T. at the cinema and he was like, you're going to love this.
And we were crying so much that I remember turning to him and saying, "Why have you brought us to this?" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what is this? This feels like abuse. This is not, there's no fun here. I'm devastated. It is pretty rough. If you're younger, I loved E.T. I'll be right here. I have the same build as E.T. You know, Brett, not to put on my special, I talk about E.T. of all fucking movies.
Of all movies. It's so random you say that. But that one did kind of rough me up too. I get it. I mean, those movies like that or like Bambi when you're not ready for the beginning part and you're like, why? Who cleared this? You know what? My friend, Roisin Conaty, if you don't know her, she's a fucking brilliant comedian in England.
And she's her father died. And she once said to me, you know, you Disney always has these films where the parent dies and things like that. And and people say it's good for kids because it teaches them about death. She said that when her dad died, not for a second. Did she think, well, thank God I saw. No shit. That's a really funny line.
You're like, Hey, your, your mom might die when you're 70, but we'll let you know what it feels like when you're six. Yeah. That, that was cruel. All right, buddy. I would say, yeah. Um, you're doing good. I don't know if you need any more plugs other than your specials out shrinkings coming season two, Ted Lasso season four. Uh, and, and,
Everything else. Your podcast, how do you find time to do it? Do you guys do more than one a day or you stack them? No, I just do it. I do it. I don't like free time. I go, I get. Oh, you like to keep it busy. I get deep, deep darkness if there's any space. So I just fill it up. Got it.
Huh. Well, that's a whole other podcast. We'll have you back. Yeah, exactly. Next year. Yeah. Anyway, it's, it's, it's better. I think about death all the time. Anyway, lovely to see you guys. Hey, great. Death and darkness coming soon. He's severely depressed, but Ted Lasso is coming out. Jason Sudeikis will cheer you up. Anyway, tell Jason hello and good luck with everything with the movie. And guys, thank you for having me. We'll see you around campus.
This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.