Colin Quinn
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's- Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800th time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. I'm here to talk about Colin Quinn, one of my old good buddies, Dana Carvey.

You might not know him. He's always in the shot with me. He's on the show with me. But he's not feeling well today. And I said, you know what? Just lay low. It's not his heart because he did have heart things. He's not feeling great. And I said, you know what? I'll just handle this because I'm such a stage hog. It's embarrassing. So honestly, just stay home. But Colin, who I saw at the Brooklyn Diner last time I was in New York, that's the famous Brooklyn Diner. He goes with Precious Seinfeld. But then I got to go with him. And he said it was underwhelming.

Whatever that means. By the way, I was watching the VMAs last weekend. The VMAs are on the MTV. It's a lot of code, Video Music Awards. MTV stands for Used to Be Music Television. You can use it. No, but the funny thing was, aside from me not knowing literally one person, I don't know, was J-Lo not there? Why was she not at something? We have a J-Lo not sighting. Yeah.

What a fucking bird. No, I like J-Lo. But the funny thing was on the carpet, Addison Rae's mom, Addison Rae, who I did when I hosted Jimmy Kimmel, she was on with me. And Addison Rae's mom is this really pretty, nice woman. We sat next to her at the fights. Anyway, she's there with Young Gravy, who again, I don't know. That's my fault.

because I have shit to do. But he's a singer, rapper, whatever. But he's a big, good-looking guy. But then we realized they called each other to go on a date because he likes cougars. And then I thought, this reminds me of Machine Gun Scarecrow, Machine Gun Kelly, and Megan Fox. Good-looking MILF, rapper with blonde hair, likes to do press. They're doing press. Anyway...

Just a thought. Sorry, Colin. But that and but back to Colin. Great friend of mine. Legit. Always see him when I'm in New York. And you'll hear from one little piece of tidbit trivia came up with the title grownups. Wow. Boom. Take that, Megan Markle and your dumb podcast.

Oh, there I said it. Fighting words, online fight, jack up ratings. Okay, that's it. Dana's not here. He would say the same thing. We both love Colin. He was there when I was there. He did update for a while. I think right after Norm, he'll tell you about that. And then listen to mostly what I say when I try to talk over him. Here he is, Colin Quinn. You will punch. Colin, I like more of your tweets. It's so embarrassing.

hits wall disintegrates yes Colin I would like to goof around all day but let's we have to get down to business we have a specific orders yeah hmm

I just want to stop by saying, even though we're not on camera, you think David was bothering Heather going, should I wear a collared shirt with a sweater? She goes, no, not with that VNX. It's wrong. Okay. She said, everything works on you. I go, good. She's reading a cue card I gave her. If you took a bat to David's hair, it would be solid. No, my hair is... It's good today. It's a wispy. It's still from the...

Well, I won't say when this aired, but I was at a certain worldwide award show recently. Oh, really? So you were... Looking for trouble. Colin, one last question. Yes. Colin. I'll start it off. Okay. Since you guys have been...

so the first time I uh went to SNL I wrote these sketches and I brought them in Stanley got me in to meet with Jim Downey and he showed me the sketch I wrote these sketches and one of them was the sketch what it was basically I'm still very proud of it even though it got rejected by every host and it was one of those sketches I kept showing up with you know and it was just like stop

it was this it was a basically roman emperor so it was like uh uh sanctimonious who was like well i don't know and then uh

obsequious yo you're right every time my lord and then tim meadows played thesaurus who goes that means this so anyway i brought that in and down he goes yeah this you know the people are gonna this is too you know and just handed it back to me here's the thing about downey is as intelligent as as brilliant as he was

If you showed up with something that he thought was smart and precious, a word in SNL back in the 90s. Yeah, yeah, yeah, precious. Was the worst thing he'd be called? He'd just throw it back at you. And then...

And by the way, I also gave it to Chris Walken who snapped at me. Chris Walken snapped. He goes, I go, hey, that sketch. He goes, I saw it. And I was like, wow. Oh, boy. What accent is saw it? What is that? New York? That's Chris Walken. He's from Queens. Queens. And the only reason I know that is the first time I met Chris Walken.

was at some hotel and I go, Hey, my family used to go to walk-ins bakery, which was his family bakery, the legendary bakery in Queens. My family traveled all the way from Brooklyn. That's how good the bakery was. German, you know, German, German bakery. And he goes, yeah, that was a long time ago and just turns his head away from me. Goddamn. I've had it with him. Meanwhile, when I'm with him, I can't shut him up.

David, this was great. That was great. Everything you do is great. I'm like, oh, come on, Christopher. John Lovitz is the truth-teller showbiz. He went up to him and goes, Chris, come on, be honest. Are you kind of making up your accent? Are you putting it on? Oh, wow. No. No. He just starts laughing. Very John. I told you, Colin, he asked me once, he goes, you ever work with an actor dog? And I go, yeah. Hmm.

And he goes, you ever work with an actor cat? Did I tell you this story? And I've told it before. And I go, an actor cat. He goes, they don't do anything. They just, they're like a regular cat. They don't move. And then if you like push them, they jump. But any cat will do that. And I go, yeah, I guess. And then he waits. Then he goes, you ever work with an actor mouse? And I go, no. And he goes, he did on Mousetrap, this movie. So it checks out. And he goes, they're good.

You tell them to go up and take a beat and go to the left, and they do. They're smart.

That's my... See, that's when you really do agree with John Lovett. It's like he must be acting a little bit. Were you there when he said... Why would you say that? I know. Why would you tell me that story? And it's not just my bitterness about the bakery. It's a little bit. It's a little bit. It seems like actors are pretty subtle in the 70s and then later on they sort of get bored and then they just extenuate their self like Pacino. Wow. No. Screaming and just...

Only Duval manages to keep it a little small. Oh, keep it under, keep it real. You know, I have to give Colin a compliment. He's always highly respected. This is for the people that are listening. Highly respected comic. Very popular. One of the smartest. Also writes these one-hour shows that I wouldn't even understand just watching them. And then he also does all the research, makes jokes out of anything.

If you gave me a subject, my act is about like a thousand different things. But if you had said, oh, write an hour about one thing, I'd be like, give me 500 years. And he does it and he does it again. And he takes something that probably doesn't sound funny on the surface, like the Constitution or something. And he goes, I think there's an hour there and makes it really good. Well, that's so Google does half of it. But thank you.

You've done seven stage shows, but we're going to get to the part. We'll get to SNL, but I like Tough Crowd. When was Tough Crowd? Before or after?

It was before. It was in the early 80s. Because a lot of shows get compared to Tough Crowd. No, I'm lying. It was in the 2000s. I thought you were 90s. I thought it was interesting. Is this true, Colin? You start stand-up, they said, in 84. You're on remote control three years later. Nobody gets a TV show in three years. How great did your stand-up get to get that? I mean, in three years? Well, it's funny you say that because my stand-up...

not only was it behind, but I was always like a comedian's comedian, even in New York. So I would do these gigs. It was really the one time I had like that heat where you'd look, like I'd go to a college in the Midwest and it'd be 2000 people. And the first time I did, I go, who are they here for? Is there a show here? They go, you.

And I go, oh, no. Oh, wow. And like half my act was about like specific streets in Brooklyn. And, you know, it was kind of a rough go. But they didn't care. As long as I stayed and signed autographs and did pictures afterwards, nobody cared. Yeah. So I'd hang out like two hours. I do like 45 minutes to my laughter. Yeah.

He does, halfway through his act, I saw him and these 17-year-old kids are cheering and then he goes, and now I'm gonna read from my Roman Empire sketch. Yes, and now I'd like to read the works of James Joyce. Please listen. But they were just excited. So you're saying they see you on that show, everyone's freaking out, I'm in Arizona watching it, going, this guy's super cool, he's funny. To get a show that's cool like that on MTV, they weren't always hits or would always work,

and it's a music show. I mean, it's a music station, but you've got Cara, Kari, the beautiful girl. - Kari, gorgeous, Kenny. And by the way, before I did any of that, my biggest celebrity gig, and I was paid very well and was treated very nicely, was opening for Dana in Wilmington, Delaware. - Oh, yeah. - Yes. - Yes. - You were a great guy. - Was he? - I suppose so. I wasn't mean. - Yes, he was totally nice.

paid better than anybody had ever paid and was just a cool guy nice guy before and after jeez that's nice david was one of my dandy openers he was yeah oh yeah in arizona um no uh new england new england tour the summer sheds where it was like 100 degrees and humidity it was those are tough you ever play those outdoor sheds in august brutal dana did we share a car

I think I drove us around. I think you had a rental car, yeah. Yeah. And that was fun. That was fun for me because Colin makes fun of me, but it was true. He goes, dude, 20 minutes, I'd walk up there with shorts and flip flops and drink a Heineken and go, what else is going on? Then I'd go beat that blooper. He'd drape over the stool and he's kind of whispering, what's up? I go out and I'm dancing. Hey, isn't that special? Gotta do it. Gotta pew. David goes, this is going worse than the Challenger. Oh, yeah.

I go, Dana, my closer's about the Challenger exploding last week, so just, you're gonna go up right after that. And he's like, oh, I don't know, maybe, and I go, NASA need another seven astronauts, and he goes, you know what, I wouldn't even put that in there, I would probably...

Some girl screams, David goes, who's that baby Jessica? I remember Wellington though with you because you were a great comic. I remember about 15 minutes in, I just said to the sound guy, is there any way we can kind of

Have you given him the light? That was my first move. He hasn't gone on yet. Can we get him off? I mean, I was like, because the waves of laughter were vibrating. I was like, can we just, is there any way we can get him off politely? How long did you do? I really love that. Yeah, like 20. 20. Shit. It's fun. I love it.

when the audience knows you so after remote control is it three years between that and SNL and what do you do during those three years it's well it was for it was more like five years and I'm just doing stand up and really I mean it was going pretty badly you know there's something about being back in coach after you were in first class very it's very humbling and very good it's very good for you but um but then

what happened was I was I wasn't I was drifting around doing stand up and I had a couple of uh things going on but nothing really and then Fred Wolf yeah hey Lawrence come out to see people I wanted to see you I really think you should be on the show it's ridiculous and you know Fred when Fred says puts his mind to something it's happening yeah and so we had this big audition in LA and I'll never forget it was during the

the long desert nights when standup was finished. So they had to bring in audiences for free. So this is an improv. They had to bring in all these kids from a summer camp, 15-year-old kids. 200 kids from a summer camp in the middle of their camp. So it's like a summer. I think I remember these crowds. Yeah. Wow. And I bombed so badly. Yeah.

So badly. And I was so fat that Erin told me after, she goes, I told Lauren, he goes, I thought this guy didn't look like this. She goes, I think his face is in there somewhere. I don't remember you ever being that heavy. That's so funny. Erin Moroney said that. She goes, I think his face is in there somewhere. That's such a great thing to say. David, Lauren really likes you. She used to go, David, Lauren really likes you. I'm like, why am I not in the show? I don't know, but I think he really likes you.

And Aaron was very like a positive, fun force running around that place. And then she was great. And then, and then, uh,

Lauren hired me as a writer 'cause Frith goes, "Do you hear the writing? "Do you hear the jokes though, Lauren?" And then when I got there, Lauren's go, "Yes, you kept a couple of people's careers alive "for a few more weeks with that performance." Basically saying how badly I bombed. And then hired me as a writer. And the only one I knew there really was David and Norm, you know? - Did you, was Marcy there or Shoemaker or any writers there? - Marcy and Shoemaker were all there, but I didn't know them. - Yeah, yeah. So you come on as a writer and I was probably, is that '95 maybe?

Yeah, in 95 was you and Huge Fink. It was your last year there. Oh, right, my last thing. Huge Fink, yeah. And that's when you started Hollywood Minute. Yeah, I think I'd done Hollywood Minute a few times, and then I had my own five minutes. Right, that's what I mean. Warren said, if you stay a year, I think Farley and Sandler left. That's right. So it was too much of a shake-up to have everybody go at once. Yeah, so you and Norm stayed. Yeah, huh? Yeah.

David. Hey. Colin. Hey. Huh? And all Norm wanted to do was play football in the hall. Oh, yeah. We also had that Magic Johnson basketball hoop. We had fake sports in the hall. That was the only thing we did all day. And Norm would storm down the hall.

And he dressed like Criss Cross, like this young rapper. He had like these giant, he was dressed like in Kalkanai jeans. I'd just be like, like storming down the hall, just starting trouble. I know where he wasn't going, the bathroom. Because he had that in their office. You know, Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program. Oh, yeah. If you want to learn a new language, which no time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older.

I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is Ola and hasta luego. So it goes out of your head. So now you have Rosetta Stone, David, tell them about it. Well, Dana, you know, more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages. Uh, I mean, my gosh, uh,

They have Spanish, French, Italian, German. I don't think you can throw them a curveball. I think they're going to know. What don't they have? The language you want. Yeah. And immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You know what I'm saying?

They, uh, I know English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation. So you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard. So this is, this is the way to do it. Designed for long-term retention.

There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah. So that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses. Rosetta stone offers for 50% off a steal. And I, and I do think that the off label thing that we're, I'm ad living now going off script is,

Is that when you learn a language and you learn to pronunciate the words in that language, you start to learn about the people who live there and speak that language. Sort of a subtle, intuitive way of integrating with the culture. A little different, yeah. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, Fly on the Wall listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off.

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We found so many ways to not write, Colin, because we would shoot hoops in that little tiny Nerf hoop, and then we'd throw the football. And it was anything to go. We got to start writing. And I would always want to write while I was fresh in the middle of the day, but it was so frowned upon. Like, what a loser. I always hated. I always just, I was the same way. I would write on Sunday and Monday. I always thought that was so fake.

that everybody's like, we have to stay up all night Tuesday. It's like, no, we don't. You could write on Monday and Sunday and you can come in at 12 in the afternoon on Tuesday. I know you really look down on like a nerd if you're writing. They're like, what are you doing, Spade? I go, it was this thing from the old days when people did coke, which I understand that was organic. But by the time we were there, it's like, why are we staying up all night?

Yeah. It's fake. The all-nighters with no Coke was just a bad idea because I get why they used to do it. But now I'm like, we don't have Coke and we do have the day off. So let's, we could fix this. I feel like you just reiterated what I said. Yeah. Literally, exactly. Right. And you know. While I was waiting for Dana. I just was trying to, by the way, Colin has another real big credit. I had a Wi-Fi issue. Colin, you know what his big credit is?

What movie did Colin think of the name of? Do you know this answer, Colin?

I know it. Of course I know it. I don't know it. I'll give you a hint. It was called Lake House for a long time. Oh, it would be Black Sheep or Tommy Boy. No. No. Okay. It was Grown Ups. The Godfather. Grown Ups. Godfather. You thought it was Grown Ups. We couldn't think of a name. Why would you change the subject in the middle of SNL? I know. We're going back to it. I just had to make sure I said that because you told me that I have to say that at some point.

- I did. - Okay, so you're on SNL and you're a writer and you're a really good writer, so it's different being, I think you were very comfortable in that position, right? - Oh, I was too comfortable. - Yeah. - I was, I remember the first time, my first sketch was, Chevy Chase was the first host and my first sketch was a first. - Oh wow.

and it was called the blame game and it was a racial game show with a white guy and a black guy tim and chevy and it was called the blame game where everybody just blames each other for what's going on right you know and then we get to right we get to rehearsal and one goes where's the buzzing sounds for the because there's no buzzing sounds for the buzzers buzzers

so I go I didn't think like that was the important part of the sketch he looked at me oh boy oh this guy's an idiot so they got buzzers but then the buzzer during the game Chevy just starts pressing the buzzer how to it up well I don't know if he meant it's hard to tell it's almost like a kid with a butt yeah

Oh, and it kept screwing up and it turned into that. Yeah, I don't think he was trying to sabotage her. It turned into the buzzer sketch and it lost all its smartness. Yeah, yeah. That's awesome.

Who knows? I know. God knows. But, but it was good to get it, you know, like early on, I didn't realize how important it is to get sketches on. You know what I mean? I was so cocky. Like my sketches wouldn't get on. I was like, what's that problem? You know, like everybody at SNL, you go in there and it'd be like, my stuff should be, you know, everybody's got a little bit of an attitude. I feel, I feel that everybody who makes it out of their life has a little bit of an attitude. Sure. I'm so damaged. Uh,

It's a combo of things. I blame my dad leaving me second, and then I put SNL. SNL first. Yeah. I think a lot of people would agree with that. Yeah.

So, but I did get a lot of fun off it. I'm not saying negative, but I actually wasn't prepared to write like you had to write there. I was a rookie and it takes so long. You were ahead of me in that department, but it was fun. You were always pretty cool to me about sketches. I don't know if you remember this.

you would, after read-through, come up and give me a compliment if you liked it. And those are not always easy to come by in a semi-competitive situation. And so I always appreciate it because you're such a smart writer. And then I thought maybe you were just doing that to do it to make me feel better, you know, to make me feel like, eh, it was good you were just saying it. And then one time you came up to me after read-through and you go, hey, that thing, and I'm ready for my compliment. And you go, yeah, you can't do that.

And I go, oh, I think he said we're going to do it. And you go, yeah, but you can't. You can't. Why, it was hacky? Yeah, it was hacky. You go, comedically, you just can't. You can't do it. And I go, oh. And then I was like, oh, you are thinking it through every week. And you are giving me actual compliments. And now is a time where your honesty is appreciated.

Yeah. Unwanted, appreciated. And, but I got scared because I go, oh no, by the way, disappointing you is horrible. You were just telling me, oh yeah, because all of us kind of look up to Colin and go, oh, I hope Colin thinks it's funny. And then when you didn't, you weren't mean about it. You were just like, basically save yourself and save your reputation and you don't need this. And I'm like, uh, I didn't understand. I go, but it'll get on. You're like, I'm not getting to you.

Yeah, I mean, that's the whole thing about my arrogance. When people ignore my advice, I go, what? My arrogance. Like, I never think to myself, like, hey, you know what? They have to do what they have to do. I'm always like, I just told you what to do. All right. It's awesome. That's the kind of delusional grandiosity that I'm capable of. Where do you fall in, like, because I'd heard this from other people about you being especially generous in a sincere way. But, you know, Smigel told me about his cartoon thing.

And you would come up to him and really critique it and tell him how much you loved it. So where do you put yourself on the competitive spectrum of comedians, like sharp elbows and that kind of thing? Or do you feel like you have a different Irish attitude or something because you seem so centered in a way to me?

Yeah. As a person. Well, I mean, I want to do well. I mean, I want to be successful, but I mean, but yeah, I don't feel, I never felt, I feel like comedians are really the only ones that really understand each other. So it's like, I always loved comedians because I feel like somehow there's something in a comedian's frequency that we, like, even when they're not,

Even if you take the hackiest comedian in the world, if you're sitting somewhere with them, it's like a different conversation than with anybody else. Not that we're better or worse. It's just they're on my wavelength. And I just feel like they're all we have, you know? I couldn't agree more. If you're in New York at a party or something and there's no comedian there and you're talking to businessmen and CEOs and then a comedian comes in, instantly both kind of –

even actors or right. Anybody, there's something in them that's different than comedians. Comedians have this, this like a dead part of us that is really funny and makes us who we are, where we're just like, Oh, like you don't, you don't have to have that enthusiastic or, you know, that earnest thing that a lot of people, even actors have where they're like, it's just another layer. We like, Oh God,

God, that's brutal. But it's like how we feel. I can't even articulate it, but it's like you know it when you see it. It's the elephant in the room. They usually identify it and then you have a co-conspirator, whether it's about someone's dress or the guy who soiled his tuxedo, whatever it is, and they just go right at it. When you go to any party in Los Angeles where there's celebrity types,

You always sort of find a comedian and then another one finds you and then you're all in a corner. And then sometimes other people like to come over thinking that'll be the fun group. Yeah. And then they also like, what do you guys think about blank? You know, what's going on right now? And then you get to, you get to blab around. But yeah, it is always fun because you feel some sort of comfort.

Yeah, the classic somebody who comes up to you and goes, I don't know if you, you know, a civilian, quote unquote, I don't know if you could use this, but I always thought this was funny. You know, one of those guys, and you're like, oh no. Oh no, I don't know if you could use this. It's like, I know we can't. We know we can't. You don't have to tell us. We'll tell you right now. They should do a show about my job. You should hear about my job because there might be something there. Yeah.

So what? Okay. So you did Joe Blow. Remember Joe Blow on Update? Yeah. So you were a construction worker. I love the name. That was my happiest things was that Joe Blow and then, and the lion. Those are my favorite things. Lenny the lion. I saw that. Yeah. When I did those two things, those, and I,

i at that moment i think it was the first millennial geoblo where i was like i just lived my dream now i can die because being on snl live so it's ne it could never be taken at that time especially but yeah it's true to this day live that still means so much and then to do those things that are really important to me i was like that was it i could have died right then

And you got to write it. And there's something about writing it. And you go, you do a TV show, you do a movie. And a year later it comes out and you go, oh, they cut out that part. Oh, it didn't get picked up. It never got aired. Well, the news changed. Yeah. It doesn't mean anything anymore. It's right there. It's how you wrote it.

how you want it out there, you actually present it, and then you walk off and your phone can ring and you go, I just saw it and I'm in Milwaukee. And you go, oh, it's out. Okay, so what I thought of is out. And stupid Norm, right before I go on the air, this is Norm to the core. I'm in a lion costume, the first time ever. I'm nervous because as an owl and just, you know, I wrote this thing and I'm getting it on. You look dumb. And then,

You know, nobody really, you know, some people maybe remember me from MTV, but it's been a few years, you know.

And then I'm sitting there in a flying costume. And then Noah goes to the crowd. Is that Colin Quinn? He's dressed in a lion suit. Yeah, I can see that. But he's not a lion, right? He's not a lion. He's just sort of in a lion suit. You know what I mean? Don't be frightened. He's not actually a lion. No one like Norm.

No. I mean, how do you, I, I, you followed Norm and Norm was one of your favorite comedians. And yeah. How was that? Was that for you? It was very ugly. And when I look back now, I feel like I sabotaged what I was doing too, because I was so afraid of being like, you know, Hey, like, no, I'm screwed up. I'm going to be the good guy. And so I kind of,

went out of my way to be villainous. I feel like I just sabotaged my time at that spot because SNL for me is such a demarcation between the great times I had there, which was before that. And then the dream gig, which is we can update why I was miserable. Lorne was miserable. It was just not, it was a bad thing. It was a bad time.

well to speak to that was it because the hangover of Norm being fired is that what gave it because Norm getting fired and then suddenly I found myself position where oh so I'm gonna be like the goody two shoes I had never done that in my life oh I just I felt like I went out of my way to sabotage every episode that I could until I formed until that became

my thing on and it was not a good thing but it was it was how it went so i kind of i feel like i destructed starting i got off on that foot

You know, with the norm thing. And then I just, I just, I would never, I would never try to be like engaging. I would barely smile. And I mean, I was kind of like that in standup to begin with, I guess, but I took it to another level and I really feel like that's what I did, but I didn't realize that till like seven years ago, you know? And how have you grown into your face by then?

Yes, sometimes I had, sometimes I hadn't. My weight's been up and down a lot. Your face was there. I thought that during that update time, Aaron was always in 8H right near you, just with her arms crossed, kind of staring and pointing to your face. But I heard that was a rumor. Sorry. If you heard the first part of the podcast, that made sense. It has to be a bit of an uphill battle, no matter who you're following. You know, it was like Dennis, there's Nealon, there's you.

Sure. And so you got to go, okay, I'm the new guy. There might be mad because Norm gets a little more legendary status because he got fired or whatever. So like, he's like a hero. And then it's like, oh, what do you got?

And you weren't like super sketch guy at that point. So it wasn't like bringing Fallon up or something. No, but it was, it was more than, like I said, it was also me just saw like sabotaging it because I was like, I'll show you. I'm not, you know what I mean? I was not, it was just a, it was a weird vibe. It just, it was a weird fit.

And when I look back, I know why now, but at the time I didn't. I was just like, I don't know what's going on. What specifically would you say to your younger self then about that moment? You know, just have more fun or be more animated. I would say if you're going to do it, yes, try to charm them a little bit. Don't just be like going on. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I mean, I would say that to myself in comedy in general. I feel like, you know, I always had this weird thing about comedy where it's like,

you shouldn't be trying to cheat and, you know, smile and win them over. And you know what I mean? Like, do you, so I always had like a, uh,

an attitude that didn't incorporate that, which was then I wasn't even enjoying it. So it's like, what are you doing? If you're not going to bring your personality to, you might as well just hand out books. Here are my jokes. Everybody read them and I'll sit on stage. And after an hour time is up and we'll just leave. But it is true. It's like, it is show business and you have to, they go like Sandler. He knew what he's doing right away. Yes. Well, no, not right away. I knew Sandler the first time he started. Yeah. It took him about a year and a half to,

and the first year and a half he was up there like a young raw you know and then he came back he went on the road for a year and a half and he came back and you're like he was he had all his charisma was there suddenly but yeah confidence and charisma same thing but also because i mean you don't want to overdo it because how many people do you know that were just

i worked with a lot of 80s really hacky people that were just all fake and it was we all resented this when they'd go up there and they'd start laughing and the crowd would start laughing and they'd be just it was all this sound and fury signifying nothing so it was like you're like wait a minute that's not stand up this is and so then you over correct the other way and just go i'm not gonna move i'm not gonna i'll just and so there's you know what i mean

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Okay. When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role, obviously. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. Everyone knows LinkedIn, but LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team faster and for free. That's right. You need good people, Dana.

You do, David. And newsflash, LinkedIn isn't just a job board. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else. Even those who aren't actively searching for a new job, it might be open to the perfect role. In a given month, David, check this out, write it down if you want to, over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other leading job sites. So if you're not looking on LinkedIn,

You're looking in the wrong place. Well, because they get what they want from LinkedIn. So why look around? On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. That's one day according to my calculations. That's right. And LinkedIn knows that small businesses are wearing so many hats that might not have the time and or resources to hire. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They're constantly finding ways to make the process easier, even though it's easy already. Yeah.

They launched a feature that helps you write job descriptions, make it even easier if you want to post something, you know. That's right. Quicker. 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring. Listen, post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash candidates. That's LinkedIn.com slash candidates. Post your job for free. As always, terms and conditions apply. Can I just interject for a second that I think you found the title of maybe your next book?

Sound and fear signifying nothing. That is an incredible phrase. If you just think of that. Well, it's Shakespeare. It's Shakespeare. Oh, it's Shakespeare. Oh, Bill Shakespeare. Okay. I love it.

- Well, I'm not really well read, so. - What was funnier than Phil Hartman going, oh no, than Chris Farley going, "Looks like we got ourselves a Bill Shakespeare over here." When David goes, "I really was thinking of becoming a writer." - Hey, look at this guy. - And then Phil, and he goes, "Well, actually we try to encourage his writing." - Yeah, Phil goes, "Actually, Matt." - Chris Farley's face.

Miss Foley's face was so depressed over that. And then he flicks his glasses up and down. Hey, I can't see too good. Yeah, he was always like that. Is that Bill Shakespeare over there? I don't know how to write anything. Every night he'd say that. And Phil Hobbins totally denies him. He goes, actually, we tried to encourage you.

And his face was so depressed and mad. I like when he turns on, he goes, you know, dad, I wish you'd shut your big yap. I like at the beginning of that sketch, they'd think of different reasons to make him gacked out. So they go, we hired a motivational speaker. He's been down in the basement eating coffee beans for three hours. Like why? Just to explain why he's going to bust out of the door and fall through the wall. I know.

But that was a problem. Speaking of the show, here's what the problem, in my opinion, there's two big problems at SNL. One is structural things, which obviously it's the most genius structure of all time.

Right. It's still the most genius structure, a live show where every Sarah Silverman wants to describe that. I go, what do you think of the show last night? She goes, it's like, it always is. It's a casino. Even if the first, that sketch you watched didn't work. You're like, you know what? The next one's coming up. And I was like, yeah. And, but the two things that I thought were big mistakes was one when they would,

they would have the rewrite session where suddenly everyone's throwing in these funny lines that ruin whatever the magic that sketch had that that writer wrote. So you'd have all these lines, and then it just killed the sketch.

because it's getting gang banged by too many people that are different yes good jokes those jokes are better than what was originally in the sketch but they ruined the alchemy or whatever right oh yeah and then the other thing was which i'm sure you guys much more than me must have dealt with the frustration especially dana which is dress rehearsal some of the best things who care the dress crowd's not laughing that doesn't mean it's not the greatest sketch and it's a different animal

So cutting things based on an audience response between dress and air, I felt like that was crazy because how many great sketches you see? No, you can't cut that. It's going to work. But just because that dress audience didn't work. Danny, you must have like five characters that you had that

that you were like, no, no, no, just let it go to air, you know? Yeah. And then eventually, you know, I had so much status there and had a lot of great collaborators that I would try to not peak at dress. I wanted the air show, my brain. And we all had that in it. Update two. To beat the system. You want your live show to be the,

the voice in your head going, this is the best I've done it this week. And that took me a while to learn. I peeked at read through a few times, just trying to get it on the show. God, crazy. Yes, yes. And never got back there.

um but yeah I get that yeah I could see that you know when De Niro with the one of the big things was on was Joe Pesci was on with the brewery used to do Pesci so yeah so they asked me to fill in whoever's gonna do De Niro yeah as De Niro so De Niro shows up and at dress rehearsal it was the most magic thing because we didn't really hadn't seen them yet we heard they were coming

and it was this and the air was good but dress rehearsals just horrible even De Niro had a different energy to him you know well then you're discovering it still a little bit because you're so beaten down after the read through with Thursday Friday and then Saturday walkthroughs by the time you get to an audience you really think the thing sucks so that's the first time you're getting laughs since read through since Wednesday and so it's hard to get back to that on the air show that discovery of like wow I'm killing this is great you know

Well, Shoemaker used to always talk about you and he said, Dana, even if he didn't have the guy's voice down completely, he always had something about him that he discovered that was so funny that made it, that took it to another level. You know what I mean? He said, you always do that. Now, did you do that?

Like, I don't know how impression is really. Did you do that consciously or did you just, did you watch tapes or did you, or like how many times, how long do you have to watch somebody? How many times do you have to watch Ross Perot before you go? Ah, that, uh,

He was pretty immediate, but if anyone cared to look at the first one, I wasn't as committed. I wasn't extending the rhythms. And then as you watch someone, these sub rhythms keep coming out. You know, can I finish one time? Can I finish one time? I don't know if that was in the first one, like a press conference. You're not listening. That frustrated kind of thing. I just yesterday, and I'm not really, I'm not like James Austin Johnson, but I thought I heard a new Trump rhythm yesterday.

That I hadn't heard before, which is like, it's not a great trumpet, the rhythm you'll hear at the end where he fades away. He's like, and gas is going up, $5 a gallon, $7, $10 a gallon. How high can you count? How high can you count? That's the one, I hadn't heard it. Yes. 10, 12, 15 dollars a gallon. How high can you count? And he looks away sometimes. He actually turns aside.

Yes. I like when Dana says, when he goes, excuse me, excuse me, but no one's interrupting him. My angle was that he would just take a word and repeat it for three minutes and make it work. We're going to win like everybody. We're going to be winning. We're going to win. Excuse me. We're going to win so much. You're going to be tired of winning. You're going to win. We're going to win so much.

well winning too much winning people are saying please enough with the winning so that Trump was an amazing people are saying he always has people saying things to him people are saying this guy's a crook many people are saying many people don't like I like when he says many people don't like this person a lot of people have come to me based on nothing

Just to make someone look like an asshole. He's a loser. A lot of people are whispering to me he's a loser. Many people are saying, many people, excuse me, many people are saying, he's not very well liked. You were nice, now you're not so nice, okay? He's a one-off. Someone asked Rudy Giuliani before he went a little kooky, how do you define Donald Trump? And he said he's unclassifiable. Yeah.

Like a rare insect. You can't. There's never been another one like him. So what do you, I don't know where to go. There's so many things I want to ask. I have a question. I have a lot. Colin, go ahead. No, I was going to say, when you do update, were you working with, was it a Downey or was it Herb Sargent or who was kind of running it with you? No, no. It was, we had different people, but it was Carlock, Robert Carlock. Oh, Robert Carlock. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Yeah. And was Tina on yet? No. Tina was on. No, she wasn't on the show, but she was the head writer. Oh, shit. And when we had Myers on and I mean, I think he did. He did. Did he say he offered you? What was it? What part? Scotty? Scott.

but that's a that's what a rumor no he literally sarah silverman again colby she goes mike myers is looking for you i go all right yeah he calls me up and he and he goes hey i'm doing this movie it's whatever it was uh it's about he describes austin powers he's this guy from the 60s and i go that's great man i'm i had nothing i literally i

He goes, so I'll fly you out and you do this part. You know, I saw you on Gary Shandling playing Rip Torn's son. So just do whatever you did then is great. Just do that in the movie. Wow. Nice. And I go, yeah, I'm working on my own movie though. And he goes, oh, you shooting something? I go, no, I'm just rewriting. He goes, all right, well, this will take a few days. It's not a big deal. I go, nah, I'm busy.

And he literally goes, what? He goes, what's going on? Like, he didn't understand what was happening. He goes, I go, you know, plus the show is happening. He goes, yeah, but it's a week off. I'll talk to Lorne. Don't worry about that. I go, nah, I'm just, thank you. And he goes, so stupid. And then he goes, um,

look I go it sounds great well good luck with your movie I go it sounds like the kind of movie I said you can even get like uh Burt Bacharach type music he goes no we have Burt Bacharach doing the actual back rack this is a big production and for whatever combination of stupidity on my part

I still you know I just kept turning it down I mean I was all he did was say look I love you on Gary Shanley this is the part do your thing and that's it and I turned it down and he goes well because I can't beg you to do it he goes you know I'm offering and whatever idiotic thing and I've turned out a lot of things in the business but I never regretted them you know but that one I regret

Because it was great. I have heard you've turned down stuff and I go, it's great. But you know, in your own mind, if it's not for you, whatever reason, you move on. Yes, but what is your reason? So in most cases, I was right. I defend it all.

That one case I was wrong. I was stupid. Because he made it for me. He said, just do what you did. Yeah, it's just walking the park. It's easy. You already did it. I think for all of us, if you're lucky enough to get on TV or be in show business and you have things coming at you,

And later on, I would always say to myself, I did not know what time it was. I didn't. I was in something that I had no context for. So, you know. Right. And how could you know that Awesome Powers would be a trilogy and a global smash when you turn it down? Oh, I couldn't know that, but it sounded fun. Yeah. Yeah, and he's funny. One way and he's funny. I always liked him.

Yeah. It was great. I don't know what my problem was. But Dana, I agree. And I'm chiming in, even though people say I talk too much. My wife is all over that. She says you're great. What you're saying about that, Dana...

I like to use words like frequency and alchemy when I talk. Because I just stole them from Colin. I'm going to use them all the time. Full of sound and fury signifying nothing. I wouldn't be able to get away with that one, but they would buy alchemy from me maybe. But when I... Dana, you're saying you get in sort of a vortex. And I wasn't in like a super fame vortex like when you were on SNL, but...

When I did SNL and in the summer we did Tommy Boy and then we come back to SNL and they go, what do you guys want to do this summer? What movie?

There's this one black sheep that Fred has and we're like, oh yeah, okay. And then we do that. Hey, you're good. You're not so good. No, you're really good. You're not so good. Dana, I'm going to talk about you in a second. I just want to tell something to David, but I have a big compliment for you at the end. That was really good. I swear to God, that was really good, but you're not so good. Okay. We're doing Fred Wolf. So then, and then the next summer, I think there was, do you want to do a Gap Girls movie or something? But the point was,

I didn't realize how hard it is to get a movie and how it just, that's a, that's a, that's a thing you're caught up in where things are getting kind of thrown at you. And then I was like, nah, maybe. And then like a summer later, I'm like, I think I wanted this movie. And they're like, oh, that ship kind of sailed. And I'm like, well, what about this? And they're like, nah. And then I thought, holy fuck, is it hard to get a movie? And they're like, yeah, dumb fuck.

If it makes you feel better, I turned down Wayne's World 1, I thought, right before we did it a couple weeks before, I go, I don't know. I don't think so. It'll be all right.

I love it. Yeah. Just like, you know, maybe I, you know, maybe. Yeah, of course. Well, it's also, everything you do is a gamble that could hurt you. You almost rarely think about the upside. You go, if this fucks up, I look, I'm in a bigger hole. Yeah, but that's what you think. But it doesn't mean any, the more you do, the people that do everything is Teflon. You know what I mean? Yeah. The last time anybody got screwed was Billy Squire doing his video for, you know,

And Sam was telling me that one. He goes, you know, I remember him telling me, yeah, this Billy Squire video from 19. I was like, what? He goes, oh, I destroyed him because he did the whole thing. He was laying on his silk sheets. It messed up his credibility. Yeah. Billy Squire was amazing. Yeah, he's fucking unreal. He did some video and it was like on some silk sheets doing like a pretty boy video. He didn't lose me for good. I took a little pass for a little bit. I'm sorry, but could you guys familiarize myself? I'm representing this other part of the audience. Billy Squire. What was his song? Lonely.

is the night. Oh, okay. And he had stroke it, stroke it. Stroke me. Stroke me. I was trying to clean it up. I was trying to PG it for the audience. Oh, okay. And that was, I think Sandler used that in Billy Madison. Yes, I think he did.

I have a thing that every time Adam's name is mentioned, I just do it to myself. Every time Sandler's mentioned on the podcast, I just do that. I've already done it twice. Yeah, show business. The only guy who would seem to have show business wire, first, the people who are like, I always see Jerry Seinfeld.

and Jay Leno happened to be the most successful metrically in many ways. They both were so pragmatic about it. And Leno was always, oh, you never stop. His whole thing was don't stop. Guys stop. Don't ever stop. And it was very, very logical advice. You know, Colin, what you were saying about people that do a lot of stuff, I sometimes do a lot of stuff, but also it's because out of some of its fear and some of its,

if I'm getting a script for a movie, we did this one father of the year. I don't even have to say individual movies, but they're never handing me the number one movie out there. That's the funniest one written because there's a hierarchy of who's getting that. So if I get a script and they're willing to do it,

I'm either co-writing it or I'm trying to help punch up or they're saying this one's a little bit of a mess. There's a reason it's not made right now, but there's something there. And if you want to put into the work, put the work in and try to help it or do whatever, or you think you can bring something to it. And those are more opportunities where you go, I can't sit back and say, I'm going to get the best of the best of everything or you won't do anything. So I think what you're saying has made me think, yeah, you keep, you try stuff to go

I, if I get to take a swing, that might help me because I can get in there and do my best. So anything, a talk show, anything, just get in front of people where someone goes, Oh, cause it's constantly on an audition. So if you hit one that wasn't supposed to be a hit, people go, Oh, okay, maybe we'll give him another one. You know, that kind of thing. You just got to stay out there. But,

but well you also said even talk show movie whatever when they let you write on it I feel like all of us comedians are like oh let me get a let me get a swing at this uh script too yeah like that's how I feel every everything I've ever read I'm always like that's good I could have made it better I'm reading a Colin Dana had a Colin had a few scripts and I'd say oh can I read that one and uh

The compliment is really, I don't know why they're not making them other than it was almost too smart. It was very funny and very smart. And I think...

Smart wit. In our world, you know, sometimes you don't want to be the smartest one in the room. What room are you in? It's that thing of like, you know, it's going over people's heads and it's like a really big audience out there. Just do what you want. You mean the Beatles were smart and dumb. Do you know what I'm saying? They had a good beat and then you have strawberry fields. It's that whole thing of like, so Colin... You stopped. Oh, shit. No, no.

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At Robert Half, we know talent. Visit roberthalf.com today. If you see, Dana, if you see any of his one-man show, we saw one. Yes, I watch them all the time. I've seen all of them, I believe. Oh, thanks. They're just, they're really fun to watch. What I was just going to ask you, I don't know if you were, David, it's like the research part of it, because you're, how steeped are you in the history of when you, the research part before you make the comedy part?

how well it's so easy because you just have it like i said yeah yeah because of google it's not like the old days but the only one was a lot of research the one was a lot of research was the constitution one because yeah i had to read these books to understand what everybody's thinking about at that time so i read these horribly boring books because in the old days they wrote books you had nothing to watch on tv so you had to read the books so they could write it as intricately as they wanted yeah i'm reading these books going oh my god this language is you know from another

It's just, it's another animal. And, but that's it. But mostly now with Google, any facts I want, I just Google them. But you know how it is. Then you're on a, suddenly you're on like a, you're just lost in a rabbit hole. And then I'm like, why was I here originally again? It's hours and hours. It's the worst. Well, on the premiere night of Grown Ups, I think number one, we were, we were all in New York doing press and we all came to see your show, right? Was that, which show was that? Yeah.

That was long story short. Long story short. That's how long ago that was. That was 12 years ago you guys were there. Gross. Anyway, we walk out of there in a daze going, why are we all in comedy? It's all like so thought out and put together. And I'm like, even the Constitution one, I'm like, do you think you had to read the Constitution? Because I would never. And then you have to write a whole thing about it. It's only four pages. I couldn't do it. Yeah, it's really, really quick. It's four pages, the Constitution.

Yeah. Too much. How do you feel? What's a one-man show for you versus stand-up for you personally as a performer? I mean, the same thing. I feel like it's the same exact thing. To me, it is. Except you don't get the light. Because I work on material at clubs.

But I work it out at the clubs, so, I mean, it's the same thing, you know? If it's not getting laughs there, I'm not going to put it in the show, you know? Because back in the day, if a comedian was too dry or whatever, people might say, oh, it's a one-man show, you know, because it's not going for the oath of the comic that we'll get six laughs a minute or something. By the way, I know. Yours are extremely funny. That's different. By the way, what's better than Fred Armisen's one-man show guy? Yes, yeah.

Fred Harbison. Oh, it's a patch.

And he did his comedian guy on Update. Do you remember that? Yeah, and then the accent guy who goes around the room with the accents. Where are you from? That's amazing. Long Beach. Remember we did the stand-up guy? He's like, look. Oh, yeah, yeah. The New York Times. Okay, my father. Okay. And he just gives... He just would interrupt himself so beautifully. I asked him, how do you do that? Because that's like a mental technique thing.

you know and he goes yeah just do it he's yeah colin lastly were you a roast guy did you do roasts yeah all the howard stern roasts you know the audi roasts gary roasts oh my god those are my favorite things shit yeah they're not they're not doing as many you done a joke that you thought you had to kind of check it with people to see if it had crossed the line

in a roast from funny to cruel or are you just what's one of those no but I feel like they're all you know I mean yeah they're all going to be they're pretty allowed to be they all have to be godless to a certain extent but yeah nothing now

comedians like the young comedians do these roasts put on YouTube they're so much more brutal oh yeah anybody we thought we were like I thought I was like whoa that's hardcore these they don't give a damn it's really funny to watch so

Whatever we did was like light compared to what it goes on now at roasts, you know? I think what happened is like Amy Schumer sort of got known from roasts and maybe Whitney. And there's people that blew up. So they go, here's my one chance. The worst is if you're getting roasted and they go, oh, we're going to have a couple of your friends in quotes and then eight new comics. And you go, so there's no fun between you two. It's just an assassination. And they get famous from it.

But what I hate is, once again, my little critiques of everything, is that there's writers at roast. I hate that. I hate it. Like when we did roast, you wrote your own jokes. That was the whole pride. Like these are all from me. And yeah, once in a while, somebody would go to their friend, hey, I'm making fun. You know, I'm sure people took jokes from other people, but it was you. And now it's writers and the jokes are good. But like you said, they're brutal.

Nobody cares. It's not you up there saying it. You wrote it. And the other person is desperate for jokes. So you got these celebrities making some obscure, you know, jokes about somebody's, you know, first wife dying or whatever. They don't know what they say. Right. Right. They're up there going, Hey, which one's being roasted Chevy. Okay. Hey, you fucking asshole. And you're like, well, my friends can say that to me, but I don't know who you are. And that's why people get mad.

If no one's getting beat up at a roast, I don't know how this thing happened with Will Smith. I mean, roasts are brutal. All right, well, I guess we should let Colin go. Colin, by the way, I moved, so if you want to stay here next time, we've got a spot for you. It's huge. You moved? Yeah. He's got a mansion. No. It's beautiful. What's your new address? Ah, almost made you say that in the air. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

It was so close. They would have been with a battering ram in 10 minutes. Well, I will keep liking all your stuff on Twitter, even though I get mad at myself. I keep liking too many in a row, and I go, this is embarrassing. No, I appreciate it. Go do your thing. I appreciate it. And I can't wait to see you when you come stay here. I'll see you in heaven. Christ sakes. Colin Quinn. Nobody like him, okay? Guys, thank you so much, but I heard your new opening, and I don't like it.

You go live from the podcast. It's Dana and David. Why do we never think of that? Who is saying that? It's all lame. Oh, really? All right, we'll stop that. I heard that you guys are open. Oh, by the way, let me tell you one more SNL thing. Sure. Dennis McNicholas was right. He's still working on the show.

but we were sitting there one day and I'm listening to Nick Drake because you know in the late 90s it was like oh Nick Drake so yes I'm one of those but but this song comes on called Saturday Sun by Nick Drake and Dennis McNicholas goes to me that's the Saturday Night Live at the end of the show that's the song and then we went down and we went down and asked um

you know she was in charge of how wellner no not how but she yeah she was in charge of the piano Cheryl Cheryl yeah Cheryl and we go Cheryl

could that be possible that they took a Nick Drake song and she goes, Howard, when Howard Shore was in charge of music shows, Howard definitely would have done that. So that Dennis McNicholas discovered, not that anyone asked, but the mystery of that last song. At least everyone has that answer. Now, Colin, before, Colin, I'm not going to leave. I took a shot. We,

We don't have a corny ending. We have a good, solid ending. You don't have a corny ending except what I just said? No, except here's how we end the show now. Buh-bye. This is what he does. Hey, buh-bye. Yeah, man, you missed the easy one. Well, isn't that special? Yeah, then Dana says that. That's my sign-off. I like the 80s.

What was your sign-off for update? Did you have one? Oh, yeah. We'll end on that. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Oh, that's a great one. That was a good one. Yeah, you had a great one. That's a great one. Thanks. All right, buddy. Thanks. Thanks, guys. All right, Colin. Love you. Hope to see you. Bye. Love you. Good to see you. Bye-bye.

Hey, what's up, flies? What's up, fleas? What's up, people that listen? We want to hear from you and your dumb questions. Questions, ask us anything. Anything you want. You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com. All right, here's a question. This is a question from Jason Smith. Your podcast is better than Cats. The play? The movie? I hope. The animal? I doubt it. Cats are great. Yeah.

I will listen to it again and again. Anyway, I like when they start with a compliment. That's smart. That gets me in. Imagine if you will, there's a comedic heaven. You're standing before it's hilarious gates. In order to be admitted, you must submit one piece from your body of work and be judged. What would you submit? Oh, Dana's not here. I don't know if I can answer for Dana. I'll answer for me. I like the people that go, I can't speak for him, but then I do. I don't mind speaking for people.

What would I pick? A lot of people would say, Dave, pick Tommy Boy. But Tommy Boy is mostly Farley. It's not really me. I mean, it's mostly, it's a hit because of Farley. I liked Just Shoot Me and Rules of Engagement, the sitcoms I did, but those are other people too. That's based on other people doing great, you know, and they make me funnier. So that's kind of a cheat. Emperor's New Groove is, I mean, I like it. I'm in it a lot. The voice is,

I'm handing in voice work to get it. Oh my God. Desperate. But, you know, Kuzco and Yzma, they're so funny though. Fuck. And so the total of that makes that movie funny. And the animation is so great. Animation helps every joke. Fuck. Maybe my standup specials. I love them and it's just me. I mean, I love Joe Dirt. Joe Dirt's mostly, at least I'm driving it and co-wrote it. So it's a good representation.

But if they don't get it in heaven, then they really don't get it because some people don't like it. This is tough. Glad Dana doesn't get to chirp in. I get to just take all this time and just stare off into space. Ah, it's so glorious. But I would have to go with, but what if it's R-rated because it's heaven? I can't hand in anything R-rated. Then I'm screwed. It's been very R-rated lately. Someone even commented, it was a little blue during your Mike Myers interview. I go, I don't give a care. Okay, um...

A special, one of my specials. I think Dana has a lot to give in, so. I would say that or some, one of my appearances on Ellen out of my 30. No, some of those talk shows were fun, funny. There's just different things. Some of the stuff I wrote, I thought was funny. I don't know. I'm just not getting it. Thank you for the question.

This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.