Holiday Special - Good Stuff from our 100+ Episodes
44:53 Share

Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's... Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800th time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. Guys, guys, hear ye, hear ye. So this is our long title holiday special with good stuff from our...

100 plus episodes. We didn't want to say best of because there's just too many. There's too many good things and it sounds weird. These are just good parts. Stuff that made us laugh. Anywhere you point, someone made us laugh very hard on each episode. We've got Peppered In, Fallon, Julie Bowen busting my balls, of course. She did the whole show. Chevy Chase, which was one of our nuttier ones and he was hilarious.

Sherry O'Terry, who's nuts, funny, great. Zudeikis, Chris Rock. There's so many, we lost track. So we're just, you'll hear clips of these people and I think you're going to like it and it'll be good to sort of shut you guys up, you know, over Christmas. And then we come back and we hit it hard when we get back. So speaking of hitting it hard, I'm going to go whack off. Anyway, folks, Merry Christmas and here we go.

So how do you two know each other? I get a sense you have your friends, right? You know each other. I know her. I'm just guessing. I don't know.

Why don't you tell him, David? Why don't you tell your friend Dana how you know me? Yeah, what is going on here? I mean, I'm just, I'm a fly on the wall right now. I met Julie, I think at a Golden Globes party. Is that possible? Golden Globes party, HBO Golden Globes party. You were Steve Levitan. Oh, I was? Steve Levitan. You were there for, you've been nominated for Just Shoot Me. Second time, yeah. 100%.

I'm so sorry. We're not keeping track. He's like, I don't know. When was it? Second time. So you sure it wasn't the first time, David? No, you know what? I mix it up. It's all jumbled. It's all jumbled. It was one of those awards. Did you win an Emmy? I can't remember. I don't remember. I don't think it's about that. Sorry, it doesn't make you a better person. Wait, David, did you win an Emmy for Just Shoot Me?

Honest. I did not. Okay. It doesn't make you inferior. Others of us win Emmys. It doesn't matter. I was back when those Emmys really meant something. I would have given you an Emmy. Yeah, back when they meant something. Now they just hand them out like candy. I think you got handed too. I think you got right. 2011, was that the pandemic? And 2012.

Yeah, I got one of those pandemic Emmys. I got a COVID Emmy. How many nominations for Modern Family? Just say it. I don't know. Six, something like that. Was it for me or the show? Six nominations. You know what, Julie? Honestly, I thought you hosted SNL twice and you voted two Emmys. I've never fucking, no, I won two Emmys and I've never hosted SNL. No, I would never host SNL. You kidding me? That

That is terrifying. I watch it now. Also, I'm kind of into, like right now, how you guys watch SNL every week, right? Nope. We have seen, I see it on Instagram. I don't stay up that late. We'll see clips. I'll go, you know, on Sunday, you can go on and watch all the sketches. Right, and watch all of it. But the guests this year in particular are like, it's like completely, it's all new. Like there's none of the classics, you know. There's no Tom Hanks. Oh, the guests, yeah.

The hosts. Yeah, all the hosts. And so when I watch it now, I'm like, oh, I could maybe do it now because it's just like they're much nicer and warmer, it seems like. Who is? I don't know. It feels like you used to have to come on and kill in the...

in your opening monologue? So now the hosts don't have to be. No, they are. They're really funny, but it's much more gentle and kind about it. They're like, I'm so honored to be here. This is so exciting. It's emotional and almost serious. Yeah. A little political statement. Yeah. And a little bit of like, this is, you know, what SNL meant to them growing up and how much it means to them to be there now. Like even, you know, Liev Schreiber did a whole like, this is such a big deal to me. And I was like,

And Martin Short is on top of a piano. I love him. He's crushing so hard. Right. And so it's not as hard on the jokes as it was back when it would have. Did they reach out to you?

I would imagine they were. During your 10 years or 11 years? There was a soft, there was some soft. Because you weren't on NBC. They're pretty loyal. You were not on NBC, right? You were ABC or no? I was on NBC when David tracked me down. I don't know if that's the terminology. That was Ed. I did a show called Ed. Oh, that is the terminology, yes. Yeah, tracked. I was doing Ed when you were doing. He stalked you? He stalked me. We were at this. I was with Willie Gerson. Strong accusations.

R.I.P. He was on, he invited me as, he's like, I've had this said to me more than once, you look like somebody who's got a nice dress hanging in the closet.

It's like the day before some award show. Clearly everyone else has dropped out. Could you possibly chuck on your dress and show up? That wasn't me. That was Willie. No, that was Willie. Okay, yeah. So I went with Willie and you were there with Steve Levitan and you walked by me and then walked right back again and go, hey, do I know you? I know you. What's up? What's up? And I said, no, no. I think I said, do we have the same barber? Speak.

Spade has the best pattern with women. I mean, just even the flight attendant or whoever. You do. You have a good... They like...

Because funny matters. My family, when I started dating David, my family was like, oh, dear God. They're like, what? And I said, funny counts. I don't need to hear behind the scenes. Funny counts. That's the name of your next book. Funny counts. They go, does it count that much? Funny counts. It counts a lot because you, like Laura Michaels said once, you can't marry a face.

Because eventually you don't even see the face. So you have to marry a personality. What's better than someone who makes you laugh all day long? Right. So David tried to track me down through, but this is where he shot the bed. What channels did he use? Are we allowed to swear on your show? Sure. What the fuck? I don't think we can say track me down again, but we can swear.

What kind of tracking device did he use? Was it a private detective? No, a publicist. Okay. Which was such a fucking C-. I want to be tracked down, though. Isn't it flattering to be tracked down a little bit? Not by a publicist. There's no other way. By telegram? When you figured out that, because at first I told you I was a dog walker. Okay. Because you were like, I know you. I go, no.

And I was like, if he doesn't know, what, am I going to give you my resume? No. You had no idea who I was. You did the right thing. You just thought I was cute. I said I was a dog walker. You're like, hmm.

And then I ran into another party somewhere. And then the next thing I knew, I had, you did track me down through, you figured out I had been happy Gilmore with Sandler. Okay. Babatoo. Babatoo. Anytime he's mentioned, I try to do that. She did the best. But you didn't bother to go through Adam. You didn't go through anybody personal. I didn't think I went Adam knowing my personal business. So what, this is a Conan Johnson PR firm and we're looking for Miss Julie Bowen? No, it was literally this woman, um,

I don't remember her name, but she tracked me down. I had a bunch of, a couple calls from her. David would like to talk to you. David liked, and I was like, fuck that. They would like to see you in his office. You literally were, fuck that? Well, I got. She's like, fuck that. Yeah, publicist. You were on Ed, right? I was on Ed. It was not a lascivious, fuck that.

No, it was not like, I don't want to fuck that. No, it was, it was, it was not that for sure. It was not that it was not that. And then you did that. I was living in New York in this building. Uh, I remember I was in the gym really early watching TVs with no, you know, they had with no, no volume. Um,

And I see that you had been tased by Skippy. Well, okay. That's a story we have not explored. You haven't explored this? On this podcast. It's been mentioned, though. David was tased by Skippy. I know the whole story. Tase and beaten. Tase was the beginning to disarm me.

disarm the musculature. It was a night of terror. My attention, did I mention that the volume was not on on the TVs? I was doing my best. So what did you, what did you decipher from the silence? Anyone who gets tased, I'm going to go to Arby's with. Yeah, definitely. No, I was like, now where was that scrap of paper I wrote down for the publicist giving his number? So I called him and I was like, hey,

That's when you called me about that? That's when I called you. I go, hey, it's Julie. You had your opener. Are you all right? I just saw you got tased by Skippy. And you said, now will you go out with me? No, I said, no, I realized my dick's still working because I got all excited. Ah.

I'm sorry. Can we take that? You actually didn't say that. Well, wait a minute. You said dick working. You said now will you go out with me. Now will you go out with me sounds more like date. Now will you go out with me? I had to get tased to get a date? After I was laid up for a while in very pain, I started to come to my sense. I don't even remember these calls because it was. It was so much pain. So much calls, so much pain. I didn't even know about Vicodin until right after this.

So, anyway. You knew about Vicodin by the time we went on a date. Yeah, you were little V-chippies. Yeah, I remember a lot of that. Oh, yeah, I had a puka shell made of Vicodin. No, you didn't. You just ate your necklace today. Everybody needs to know about David is that he's the most, like, sensitive, delicate flower who has low blood sugar, has to carry around a little rat bag full of, like,

Turkey and chicken. Oh, there's protein bars all over this mansion. And like, even though he wants to go like party, but it's at like 6 p.m. 6.30. And bed at 8.45. But we're kindred spirits. We like to eat at 3.30. We asked the restaurants to open.

Robert Half Research indicates 9 out of 10 hiring managers are having difficulty hiring. If you have open roles, chances are you're feeling this too. That's why you need Robert Half. Our specialized recruiting professionals engage their skills with our award-winning AI to connect businesses of all sizes with highly skilled talent in finance and accounting, technology, marketing and creative, legal and administrative, and customer support. At Robert Half, we know talent.

Visit roberthaff.com today. I mean, I love both of you guys so much. I can't even tell you. I want to go into your career and your stuff and everything you've done to influence me. You know, I wanted to be Danny Carvey. I wanted to be, that's my whole reason for getting on Saturday Night Live. That was my whole thing. Oh, you said David Spade wrong. Ha ha ha.

I think that's age related because, yeah, David. No, I wanted to be Dana Carvey. I was sitting behind a read-through with a knife. Well, yeah, you were my surrogate. You were my stand-in. Sometimes I'd do church chat rehearsals. David had to get the dress on and sit in there for camera blocking, which I thought was horrible. David, just for a few minutes, can you sit in there? Dana's resting. But, Jimmy, you were 12 years old.

When I got on SNL. And that's what I call the peak formative year. It's like when I was listening to Monty Python or whatever gets in your brain at that age and through high school. So...

I appreciate you, bro. Thank you. I can't even tell you how much I would... I was such an SNL nerd. I would record it every Saturday night. It would be by myself. I wouldn't be... I didn't want friends over. I didn't want anyone around me. My parents. I didn't want anyone near me. I just wanted to study the show and watch it. And I videotaped it. Then I remember my favorite sketches. And then I would go to parties like...

whatever the next week or whatever. And I would bring videotapes with me with the best clips of SNL. Like I was like a human YouTube just going, or watch this part and watch this thing. But I mean, I was like, I love the chopping broccoli and,

There she went downtown. But can I tell you? She's a lady I know. If I didn't know her, she'd be the lady I didn't know. I didn't know. Did you ever put that out? Like, is that out on Spotify or something? No, the only thing I want to say, which was mind-blowing a few years back when I did your show,

And then I just, it wasn't my idea, but all of a sudden they go, Jimmy wants to do Chopping Broccoli with an orchestra. Remember that? It was fucking crazy. So that was the mic drop of Chopping Broccoli. There was a string orchestra. And then I was playing Chopping Broccoli on a baby grand. I had a terrible hair day because New York water just flattened it. But anyway, that's just my. But I Chopped Broccoli and I took it really far. She chopped, she chopped. She chopped. She chopped. I think.

That's a 20 minute bit of my stand up As you can imagine But anyway that's so you Jimmy We do have a There's a connection to This musicality of what we do And the way you do impressions and everything I brought a guitar I mean I'm in my office Will you play something?

for us? That'd be awesome. Dana, while Jimmy's futzing around, I have to say that if you're on SNL and you can play an instrument, Jimmy's like the perfect SNL guy. He plays an instrument. He's marginally good looking. Voted sexiest, one of the top 50. He was voted one of the tallest hosts ever.

of the year. And he, he's got a harmonic. It's fucking God. Oh, I know he's going to do that. Supernatural. He's either going to do, he's going to one of three, either Dylan Lennon or Springsteen, which are all brilliant. Dylan's one, but I thought maybe Neil Young too. Oh,

Oh, Neil Young. Yeah, just give me anything. I'm being entertained now by my guests. Neil Young would play the harmonica like he plays it differently than Dylan. Neil Young plays harmonica like with the song. So he's like... Oh, there we go. There, something changed. Yeah, it's good now. Yeah. Can you hear it now?

Now we hear it. Perfect. Neil Young plays the harmonica with the tune of the song. With the notes. Yeah. David and Dana Sitting in a tree. Dana and Dave were just a fly on the wall down the hall of SNL SNL

S-N-L. S-N-L. Dana and Dave. They don't ever call you Dave. Some people do. You have to get in the real tight circles. And then Dylan's faster. Dylan's like... Yeah, a lot of up and back. He hits the highest note of the harmonica and just screams it. So like... Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's it, yeah. Come on. Silent world.

He runs out of stuff, he hits the harmonica. Yeah, exactly. When you run out of lyrics. Have you heard Rough and Ready, his latest album, Rough and Ready, Bob Dylan? Yes. God, it's brilliant. Is it good? Soon After Midnight is a masterpiece. But he's got his new voice, which is like... Well, yeah, that's what I mean. This other voice, I haven't really tried to do it, but it's pretty special. It's really rough. It's like,

Soon after midnight, and I got a date with a fairy queen, with a fairy queen. I love seeing him in concert, because sometimes he doesn't feel like performing, and he's just out there, and he's going like... And I'm like, oh, man, this is weird. And then he's like, how does it feel? And you go, oh, I love this song. Oh, my God.

Do you mind if I lick this? It's called Chevy time. Did you ever meet Farley in the old days? Chris Farley? Yes, sir. I did, and Lauren had asked me to talk to him about the drug issue. Chevy, if you could talk to Chris. Really?

Might help. Might not, but might. I like your Lorne. It's kind of quiet. Will you do a little Lorne first? Yes. It's that thing of like if you could talk to Chris, you know, about drugs, it might be like a really good thing. I love his room. So I did talk to him. And? How'd it go? Well...

He didn't have enough drugs for both of us, so... See, that's a classic. He's been landing all day for me. They're hitting for me. They're hitting. Once you get into his comic frequency, it's like, it's just fun. Our town...

Greg is laughing very hard. You wished you'd stayed longer at SNL. I kind of wish I did a couple more seasons. Oh, Christ. I feel like I'm here longer than SNL. You never set up again. We can adjourn any time. Actually, I do thank you. Yes. Actually, I did. We're now man and wife. Yeah. Yeah.

I do. That's funny, too. You did like 40 shows. How tall are you? Thank you. Five, eight and a half on a good day. So you. No, actually, the answer to your question. I forgot the fucking question. You could have done movies during the summer and stayed on the show. Oh, you know, I would have loved to have stayed. And I really mean that. I mean, I left because of a girl. I had a picture of the girl.

And I kept saying, I'm going to marry this. Look at you, beautiful. And Lauren kept saying, no, she isn't. And Doug Kenny from the National Lampoon became one of my best friends. Actually became my best friend. And...

That's all I got. Did he write Animal House? Did he write Animal House? Doug, yeah. He was one of the writers. I think that Harold stepped in there too. Harold Ramis. It was always, what's his name who wrote these things, the book or the thing? John. Was it Landis? No. John Hughes. John Hughes. Yeah. But Francis with...

What's the movie I did with Harold? Vacation, honey. Right, thank you. Vacation. Yeah. Andy and Harold completely rewrote it. Yeah. Oh.

You have to rewrite him, Hughes. Oh, I see. Because he's not really, he was not comedic like you guys. He's not Jewish. Oh. Well, if he gives you a blueprint of a great movie, you can fix it. Chevy, during the podcast, puts his hands up like he's holding a loaf of bread and looks at it. A loaf of bread. Show it. That's quite a loaf, I know. Yeah.

It's quite a little fair. Ed wants a slice. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Do you do a Lorne impression? Everybody does. Everyone in this oral history of Saturday Night Live. Only because I've never met anyone like that. You know what I'm saying? No one has. And I was, I'd seen Austin Powers a million times before I actually got the job. So then I went there and I'm like, so wait, he's

not admitting that this is that because this is totally that. That sounds like a new sketch. This is that. This is totally that. This is totally that. Yeah. Well, did you have any Lorne-isms? We sometimes collect, you know, things that he says to people. You know, the initial one was never, never, never underestimate the value of water is a kind of a touchstone for a lot of people. Yeah. And he also like,

has a way of like summing up large occurrences in the world. It's like, yeah, because, you know, Elvis was a twin. So it's that.

It was like, what, what, what does that mean? Yes. Hitler was a painter. Yeah. Hitler was a painter. And so it's all that. So it's, it's that. World War II. I never know what that is. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what you mean. You're swimming up. Take over for Lorne. Keith, do you have any ideas? And who's good enough to handle that job? Higgins. Hands down. Higgins. I have him on a list here. Steve Higgins.

Yeah. I mean, Higgins is a no brainer, but Eric Kenwood is out there, you know, like Aaron Doyle, you know, the people that have been there for a longer period of time. I think Colin, you know, myself, I don't know, Che, like we can all handle it. Like if we all wanted to stick around and keep it going. Would you entertain it if they if they approach you? Yeah. Like, why not? It'll keep me in New York. It'll keep me, you know, in a state.

stable environment, which is hard for an actor. I'm just going to write, write your name down for a second. I'm just keeping it. Put it in the universe. That's great. I think you, um, uh, we don't have pens. I don't have it. I'm disorganized. Seth Meyers and Tina Fey. All of them. You know what I mean? Anybody that's,

especially being a person with a pencil in their back pocket for a week, you know, just fishing for jokes and like knows the structure of the show. So Seth, Tina, any one of them, I think, you know, that have had a good run at it and enjoy it, they can get it, you know. Well, you're interesting because you're,

20 years, you know, every in and out, you know, what's going on. If you just perked your ears up to like budgets and stuff, you could figure it out pretty quickly. But there's also like the other element where Lorne is such a rock star and he has so many like

you know, pick up the phone favor kind of, you know, moments that he can make happen for the show. The network or the studio just deals with them. Yeah. And keeps them away from us, you know, keeps us protected. Like he's just an OG. So someone that can continue that kind of thing and like make it a safe space for us. And then also make a phone call and get a legend in there at the last minute, if it, if it needs to, to be that.

Yes, there's a lot of off-label things that he's doing that go beyond executive producer. And I think he does always develop a fondness for...

For his cast members, you can feel it. You know, I mean, he's talked very nicely about you almost in a paternal way with other cast members. He becomes the de facto dad that no one ever had or something, even though I'm three years older than him. He's still kind of my dad. Yeah, that's so crazy. Yeah, but that must be a crazy dynamic because, yeah, he's the one we all kind of turn to because if he's not happy, like, you know, the shit's not getting on. You know what I'm saying? Like, if he's not fucking with it, then that's that's the end all be all.

So I've gone to him for a lot of different, you know, nothing pertaining to the show kind of advice because he just gives that air basically like, you know, if you have a question or, you know, if you have a situation, we can help you with it. You know, nothing's too, you know, too terrible that we can't fix it. Yeah. Oh yeah. And when I was sort of, you call it wilderness years or raising a family, whatever you want to call it. But then I ran into Lauren. He's just like,

He said, everyone knows who you are. You know, it's just Lauren and a very supportive little like, you know, whenever you're ready, you just can do it some more. But yeah, he's brilliant at those kind of just been there, seen it all. He was like a stepdad to me because he used to ground me and hit me.

Okay. You want to talk? No, a lot of people did. Um, let's break some news. We got a trend, man. You weren't like the spoiled child. David's like a little boy and you have to take care of him. Dana, will you bounce him on your knee?

David need a spanky. David, he need a little spanky and he's in a timeout. Don't talk to him. I'm not going to use any sort of object or spatula. I'm going to go full hand. Yeah. But it'll be just on the bottom. Skin on skin. That's good for Lord. Skin on skin.

As a Ford owner, there are lots of choices of where you get your vehicle serviced. You can choose to go to their place, the local dealership, your place, home, apartment, condo, your workplace, even your happy place, like your cottage on the lake. Go to your Ford dealer and choose Ford pickup and delivery to have your vehicle picked up, serviced, and brought right back.

Or choose mobile service where a technician will come to you and do routine maintenance right on the spot. Both are complimentary and depend on your location. That's ownership built around you. Contact your participating dealer or visit FordService.com for important details and limitations.

Okay. When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role. Obviously, that's why you have to check out LinkedIn jobs. Everyone knows LinkedIn, but LinkedIn jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team faster and for free. That's right. You need good people, Dana.

You do, David. And newsflash, LinkedIn isn't just a job board. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else. Even those who aren't actively searching for a new job, it might be open to the perfect role. In a given month, David, check this out, write it down if you want to, over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other leading job sites. So if you're not looking on LinkedIn,

You're looking in the wrong place. Well, because they get what they want from LinkedIn. So why look around? On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. That's one day according to my calculations. That's right. And LinkedIn knows that small businesses are wearing so many hats that might not have the time and or resources to hire. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They're constantly finding ways to make the process easier, even though it's easy already. Yeah.

They launched a feature that helps you write job descriptions, make it even easier if you want to post something, you know. That's right. Quicker. 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring. Listen, post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash candidates. That's LinkedIn.com slash candidates to post your job for free. As always, terms and conditions apply.

In the soap operas, they would come in and go straight to the bar. There was never a TV on in the soap operas, right? And so I would make up a makeshift bar and have Kool-Aid in a vase that you could see through. That was my carafe. And then I would have ice and tongs to put. And then when my mother would walk in...

I would stand the way the camera shots, you know, how in soap opera. Sort of open out. The camera comes in and then the person is talking to them from the back of it. Like a rack focus. Yeah. Kind of. Right. So I, my mother would come in and I go, oh mother, you startled me. Mother, you startled me. Yeah. And she would go like this. Who the fuck are you?

left the door open with the air conditioner on. And I would go like this in my mind, cut.

God, so your survival mechanism was to almost live inside a soap opera. I lived inside and no one knew what I was doing. It was really just myself. And then I would watch like Little House on the Prairie. I'd go upstairs, put my hair in plaits, you know, in braids and they get on my prairie pajamas. And I would come down and my mom would be in the kitchen. I go crazy.

Ma, when's Pa coming? And she goes, what? I go, when's Pa coming home? And she goes, I don't know, but you better have fucking money. Cut! So it was like, my dad didn't live with us. So it was like, whatever, you know, and in my mind, I was constantly cut.

It wasn't going to what you wanted. It wasn't going to like a TV show. You can't curse on TV. And I'm just, and she, and then I remember I would watch like, um, uh, the 10 commandments was just on the other night. Oh, the movie. They, the original because it's Easter, Easter is coming. So they, you know, and I used to live for the 10 commandments, you know, and, um, and

And I would be watching it and I'd go in the other room. My mom and her friend are smoking cigarettes and, you know, talking and I would get a ladle and I would give it to fill it with water and give it to my mom and say, mom, can you hand this to me? And she's like, what, what do you want, Sharon? I go, just hand it to me. And then my mom's friend would say, honey, I'll hand it to you. And I go, no, no, no. And my mom go, I'll hand it to you. Just give it to me. So she would take it and then she would hand it to me and I would drink it down really fast. And I go, you are kind.

I will dwell in this land. And she goes, dwell in the other room. Have you done a one woman show about this relationship? It's so good. And then my friend, I would say to my mom's friend, you are strong. You stood up to the Malachite.

And so you were kind of like- Do you remember that from- Well, I just know the Canes, I actually read the Bible after I saw it when I was like eight or something. I started reading the Bible for a while after I saw it. Are you serious? Oh yeah. I was just like, maybe this is a true man. This looks pretty real. I was like, you know, I was like seven. It was like a documentary to me. Oh.

I'm going to get to the bottom of this religions thing and I'm going to open the book. He's like, is the Bible a real thing? And then he goes, oh, there is one at the library. Let me delve into this a little bit. Dana, that's adorable. And years later, just a flash, which I want to ask you too. I'm with Charlton Heston on SNL and Lawrence wants to get him to do church chat, church lady with Moses. And he's like,

And he didn't want to do it. We're kind of pressure. I didn't want to pressure him, but he goes, this is awesome. It's so surreal. Those kinds of things. But back to this, I just want to couch this for a second. So your mother's, you probably love, love her. She's very aggressive. There's a lot of tension in the house. You escape into these shows and use three-dimensional props to kind of become a part of these calming shows. Um,

The Ten Commandments. Did you have a crush on Michael Landon? I was going to ask because wasn't he sort of a teen idol in a way for a while? Yeah. Little house in the prairie. No, I mean, did I? I like the blind girl. I thought it was. David's like, what I could have done with that. She couldn't see that I'm not that cute. I would just tell her I was. Not with that lighting.

Not with this lighting. You can't see him, listeners, but David's got gothic kind of lighting on him. My hair looks cool and no one believes me and I don't care. I'm going to the wall with this. We have great hats. You have a hat on. Well, because I was throwing you guys off because there was so much shade on my face and lighting it looked crazy.

So, Sherry, this is so interesting. I'm just so, you know, when I think about you as a performer, just the word that comes in is committed. Not as a woman. Well, as a woman, that's a whole other, that'll be our second hour. We'll delve into your sexuality and everything, you know. No, you are very attractive. You know, Sue me and I adore you.

But were you as committed? I mean, you're so committed. You're watching these shows, little kid. You got props and you're talking like biblical characters to your mom. What the fuck are you doing? I so love you, mother.

how did this inform you as a performer? I mean, obviously you developed an ear and you're theatrical, but you'd never done anything official till you go into groundlings. And then how many years into that were you in the main company and ready for SNL? How long did it take? I did two years of classes and then two years in the Sunday company writing or performing every Sunday. And, uh,

And then I got into the main company. I was in the main company for a year and a half. And I would say that SNL was my first job. Wow. And that was, you were prepped enough, right? Because you were doing pretty much exactly SNL, pretty much. Yeah. I mean, I just kept the same kind of writing and just kept going.

There's, you know, I learned the difference between theater and television. I remember writing something in the Groundlings that did really well, but it died. And I remember, and I remember Quinn, Colin Quinn saying, sure, I don't know if this is going to come off the way it did in theater because it's

When you talk out in theater on a stage, the audience can imagine the fourth wall. If you do it on television, you just look crazy if you're talking out. You know what I'm saying? And I did not know the difference between that. And I remember it was Kevin Spacey and I had done this character where she has a party every year, the same party. And the only two people show up and she acts like there's a lot of people there.

She says all the things that you say when it's a really packed party. You know what I mean? Right. Did you find parking? Excuse me. I just got a request. The the the keg is beat. We're a young party. The keg is beat. We've got to put I'm going to pass a hat around and all the

All these things. And I did it with Kevin Spacey and it just died because of what he said, because a lot of it was me talking out to people that weren't there. And it's kind of confusing. But.

And then I remember Lauren always saying, Sherry, do you know where your camera is? And I thought it was a trick question. I go, yeah, no, you don't. And he goes, the people at home would like to see you too. And I didn't even know what he meant.

Kansas is, oh. Now, you play basketball. The only thing I ask, I'll ask this first. Could you touch the rim? I could. Could you dunk a baseball? I could dunk a baseball, yes. I've probably dunked a basketball 10 times in my life. Shut up. Never during...

a game with a referee. I was just talking about this yesterday. Any witnesses? There's basketball going on right now. You know, a lot of basketball. So I'm just... Yeah, so you're 6'2 or 6'1? 6'1. 6'1. What's your wingspan? Oh, probably 6'1. Nothing spectacular. So you had a pretty good vertical to get a basketball. It was also adrenaline. I also had a lot of friends that could jump and so it's a little bit of peer pressure that way too where it's just, come on, just shut up and do it. But I do remember if I dunked 10 times, six of them...

Six of those times were one day after playing basketball, like in between junior, senior year, you know. No, no, sophomore, junior year, like during summer. That's unreal, dude. My dad put up a nine-foot hoop and it fucked all the kids because we were awesome on the nine-foot hoop. Such a great feeling. And then we'd go to high school. What the hell is it doing? Air ball after air ball. Yeah, exactly. I can get the net. I can dunk on the net. Nine foot is awesome. No, it was a...

It's less of a big deal now. I feel like, you know, shooting threes off the dribble is what it's all about now because of, you know, Steph Curry and whatnot. But back in, you know, back when I was playing, dunking was the biggest deal in the world. I mean, that's, I was the test market for those strength shoes, you know, that they, you know. Really? That would kind of create. Yeah. I mean, I had a pair for the legit reason. I would jump rope them all the time. A lot of, a lot of time spent on that. But yeah. You know, when they do it now.

They go past half court. It's like one step, two steps, shoot it. And you go, Jesus, how do you guard? You don't even know what's happening. He changed everything. It's just one, two, boom. And then they make it 90% of the time. Yeah. I'm Caitlin Clark on the women's college circuit too. I mean, it's all over the place, all over the world. Yeah, just shooting. You play Sandler? Adam and I have played, I think we may have played once or twice, but not enough to have

a scouting report. I hear he's good. I know he gets into it. He's competitive too. Oh yeah. Yeah. What are you doing? It's all funny games till the game starts. Exactly. Yeah.

Like, get open. You don't talk to me like that. Jesus. Happy Gilmore. I'm not. Check the call sheet. All right. You are not triggering financing out here. We are all the same. No, but no, he plays. He's played in a game with my buddy, Sam Jones, that I've played in a few times and buddy Brad Morris. But yeah, I haven't played maybe once or twice. I mean, probably the best.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's a big deal. Like a lovely sort of, because I'd read about that game forever. Oh, yeah. Gary Shandling's house. Yeah, absolutely. Sarah, you, I mean, who were the regulars? Oh, my gosh. I mean, McKay was there. Jimmy Miller. Jimmy was there a couple of times. I used to go in the early, not early, early days, but there was a run there when I went and I was no good and I sort of got pushed in the background. Yeah.

Yeah. Not the emails anymore. You need to be a Muggsy Bogues out there. I was like, you know, distraction, whatever they call it. Yeah, I just want you out there, like on the side, just like, you know. We need a new guy. We need five to keep it even. You go out there and run around in circles. Or a Spud Webb. I would have been a Spud Webb.

But no, I got out of that quickly. I was D basketball in high school and our center was literally 5'3". He controlled the paint. That was when they had D basketball. Five foot tall, 91 pounds as a freshman. What about you? Were you always a bearded stud in high school? No, no, no. It was a beard of acne like any of us, right? I don't think I could grow a beard until about an hour before I got here.

This year, Dell Technologies' Back to School event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose. With every qualifying purchase, Dell will donate to ComputerAid, who equips solar community hubs with tech and AI literacy skills to empower remote, displaced, or disconnected communities around the world.

This is your chance to empower people globally through AI access and digital opportunity while upgrading your tech now powered by Snapdragon X series processors for game changing performance and to power efficiency. Help Dell make a difference. Shop AI ready PCs and get free shipping on everything at dell.com slash deals. Purchase any PC or monitor between

For details and restrictions...

Go to dell.com slash deals. If you're driving right now, take a look around. See all those cars? You can find them on AutoTrader because they have the largest selection of new cars, used cars, electric cars, even flying cars.

Okay, no flying cars yet, but as soon as those get invented, they're going to be on AutoTrader. Not only can you find the car you just saw, you can find it at a price personalized to you with Kelly Blue Book, my wallet on AutoTrader. From credit scores to down payments to interest rates, we all know that car buying requires a lot of math.

Enter MyWallet on AutoTrader, a tool that shows you exactly how much you'll pay each month for your car based on your unique info. So you never have to do your car math again. So whether you're into timeless classics or the latest trends, did somebody say solar-powered, eco-friendly, self-driving car? Or whether you just want something practical with no surprise costs, if you see a car you like...

find it on AutoTrader. See it, find it, AutoTrader. How did your anger express itself then to you? I mean, here's the weird thing. When I was, I mean, my child, I was bullied ridiculously. Half of it, the bullying, because I was just a little guy.

And then I got bused to school. So I got I was a little guy and I was black. Right. It's hard. So it's like I'm getting double bullied. If I was white, I would have probably got bullied, too. But it was just like, ah, you're also supposed to be tough. Probably. Yeah, it was pretty rough. Right. And it was pretty like every day. So I it's weird. I had a weird temper. I'm going to it's going to be a weird thing.

I was the oldest of seven and I was weirdly smaller than my younger brothers. So it was a weird thing where your brothers like, hey, so and so down the block bothered me. And I'm like, I got to go protect Andre or Tony. And I'm fucking smaller than them. So anyway, one day a guy

A guy really disrespected me really bad, like mushed me at a party and like mushed me and pushed like, kind of like kick sand on my face in front of girls and shit. And I went home, I put a brick in a book bag. This is like a legendary story in my life. Like bad boys, yeah. And I...

fucking swung that shit and smacked this guy in the face with this brick and then stomped him Joe Pesci style. Wow. Now, to the point we thought he might die for like even like three days later, every time a cop or whatever would come through the block would be like, we're literally talking about ways of getting me this down south like that would have helped. Long story short, from that day on,

as my shrink puts it to me, you have been scared to be angry ever since. So, the guy you saw was bending over backwards to be nice because I was so scared of my anger. Yeah, I see. Yeah, Hulk-like. I was frightened of what, you know, my shrink

The good shrink I got, you know, like the top, top guy. There's good ones and bad ones. There's good ones and bad ones, you know, and he broke it down. It's like, we got to get you over that incident. Right. Because you're a nice guy and this guy brought out something in you and you're so scared of that thing coming out of you again. Yeah. That you let the whole world walk all over you. Mm-hmm.

Your friends walk over you, your family walks over you, your female relationships, like everybody just fucks you over. Because it's somewhere in there they know you, there's a force field holding you back.

Interesting. So I'm like the opposite of you in the sense that in the last year, now I can get angry. Right. I'm not scared. I'm not scared of letting people know how I feel about that. My therapy was about that, too, though.

Because I was always the nice guy holding stuff in and not really. My aggression, my competitiveness overrode the nice guy. Because people ask me who meet me now, well, did you just allow other cast members? Like, oh, no, Lauren, do their sketch, that kind of thing. There was a natural competition in me. But in my personal relationships, I hated confrontation. Because when confrontation happened at my house, bodies flew.

My dad was just really violent. So I, all my siblings are like that. We don't like confrontation. And that goes too far. It wasn't violent per se, but it was loud as fuck. Yeah. So. But those things stick with you just loud. Yeah. It just sticks with you. So now, yeah, I can kind of, I can tell you, I'm, Hey, I didn't like what you said to me, or I didn't like what you, without losing my head, without getting anybody. Well, that's all. That's a home run for therapy.

This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.