Julia Sweeney
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's- Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800th time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. How long did you work with Julia Sweeney?

I think probably three. Her whole run? Yeah. Or four. She kind of like... So we had Nora Dunn and Jan Hooks and Victoria Jackson as our primary female cast members. Some killers. And they were great. And then when... I think when Jan and Nora left, then Julia came in and took that primary role of...

doing a lot of stuff with phil hartman yeah she could her range is incredible and then we do talk about in this podcast really interesting her character it's pat uh about a kind of a woman that no one knows whether it's a man or a woman this was 1991 or two but she talks all about her reaction to that what she feels about it we also talk about she brings up a sketch i wrote for her when i was a little yes and that was that even shocked me and i did not remember and it was

Great to hear. It was a very real reaction from you. I always say to people like, take away David Spade, all the fame, The Bachelorette, all the shows, all the movies, all the world, Missy. He was a dandy little sketch writer. I like that. I'll take that over everything. That's the hardest thing to do. But you wrote some jokes for me once. You were my opening act. We did a little tour and I would give you subjects and you'd go, sure, boss. And you had a pencil in your ear and a little notebook. Right away, boss.

Here's a joke Dana did today. Why do they call them neat freaks? Why do you have to be a freak if you're neat? That's yours. Can't you just be tidy? Nah, you're a neat freak. I'm vacuuming. Why am I a freak? Who's this freak? I'm not a freak. I'm just vacuuming. Freak. Get away from the freak. The cat away. That's Dana's new one. All right, here we go. Julius me. So you were saying about religion. Oh, yeah.

You've done two or three one-woman shows based on... Well, really just one. Letting Go of God was the... Yeah, that's the religion one. The other ones are other things. God Said Ha, yeah, I got it. So you're an atheist. Yes, although I really... It sounds so negative, but it's just atheism. Yes, well, no, because to American ears, atheist sounds like...

I hate puppies and flowers. Yes. Yeah. It's not the thing to it or something. Yeah. Even though the Nazis weren't atheist, but I wish I'm always explaining to people. OK, but anyway, well, it comes from Catholicism.

But yeah, I yeah, I mean, I've had. Yeah, I don't believe I don't. Let me put it this way. I don't live my life under the assumption that there is a deity watching what I do. Right. I guess that makes me an atheist. Yeah, I guess. I don't know what I I keep coming back to this like I can't comprehend infinity, that there was no beginning or end to this. Whatever. Why? Why do things exist?

And when did they get here? So I keep going around with that. I did know a Jehovah's Witness once who told me he could understand infinity. I said, so you can think of a God who never was not here, was always here. He looked up and he goes, yeah, I got it. Yep. Yep. I want to say to the record, I like puppies and I like flowers. I think, Julie, what people is the, it hits the ear like,

If you don't believe in that, then you don't believe what we believe is that that created those things. So you're against everything. Is that kind of what the vibe is? Yeah, that's it. And it's like a very I used to think I could. I don't know what I thought. I guess I thought doing my show, I would change people's mind. I wasn't doing it to change people's mind. Actually, the reason I did the show is because for me, it was a huge, huge philosophical transformation.

I wasn't particularly religious before. So it was about age 40 that this happened. Well, I was religious. I wanted to be a nun in high school. I was completely committed, but I let it kind of go away. And then I had a crisis in my life that made me believe more. Like, I really felt, you know, like I had religious experiences and

And then after that, I started trying to think, well, what was going on with those experiences? And then as I learned more and more about the brain and how we evolved, then I finally read the Bible. You know, and then over two years, I realized that I could explain it psychologically or naturally or, you know, like I didn't need a God to explain what happened to me.

And then so then I wanted that was a big dramatic change in my life. And I had been doing these one person shows about things like that. So I thought, oh, that's a good challenge to kind of do a one person show about a change of mind that all the dramas all takes place in your head.

And that was really hard and I didn't necessarily achieve it. I had to make stories and, you know, like I had to conform to normal dramatic structure, but I did it and it was probably my most popular show. And

But I wasn't thinking I'm going to convince people to be an atheist. It was more like. It have comedic tones, I'm sure. Oh, yes. It was actually I felt defensive about it because I felt like I was getting as many laughs per five minutes as comedians were. But because it was a difficult topic, I wasn't considered a stand up, you know, like. Right. And well, it's a brave topic and that's hard to stand up. It's more respected in a way to try to tackle things instead of 7-Eleven, which I tackle. Yeah.

I watched about 12 minutes of it. I thought it was really charming. And the way you walked yourself into it was very disarming for the audience. But yeah, did I ever believe in a magic God and all that stuff? No, I'm with you on that. I mean, I never bought it and no one bought it in the Lutheran church. Even the pastors, you could tell. Oh, I fully believe now that...

All everyone, no one really believes it. I mean, like, I know about tribalism and history and affection for the ritual and affection for the way of life. Mm hmm. And so it almost is like it was useless to try to argue rationally with someone about it. It isn't a rational choice. It's usually you're born into it or you have an emotional thing that makes you join something because it helps your life. Like and, you know, I don't care. That's fine with me, with people like I'm not.

You know, so I went back to the Catholic church with my wife and I found it just interesting because they were talking about Pontius Pilate and stuff, you know, and it's like, wow, they're still doing it. It was like going back in time, but I'm still doing these bits. Yeah. But I know it's the old material. David, have you ever had? Yeah. Now I kind of as a hobby follow these right wing Catholics. It's interesting. Yeah.

Right wing. Okay. Oh, yeah. There's a huge schism coming in the church, I think. Oh, that makes sense. There's the Latin masters and they're the people who are with Pope Benedict and not with Pope Francis. And they think Francis is the anti-Pope.

Did you say Pope Benedict or Pope Wannadick? Good night. Sorry. Okay. Anyway, I canceled. I'm sorry. I'm canceled every five minutes. I like that one. I just made it up. I just made it up. Anyway, should we talk about your other supernatural experience meeting David Spade in 19...

That's Julia. When you got... My question for Julia is... Okay. And then we're going to get to me and Julia, of course. When she... I think you came from Groundlings. So when that happens, and you can explain how it happens, is there any jealousy when someone gets plucked out of Groundlings? Well, it's so funny. I don't know.

I think I was so naive. I didn't think anyone was jealous of me and I wasn't jealous of other people, but now I understand that most people get really jealous of those things. I mean, so I was just kind of oblivious about it towards me and, and the people who got on before me, um, like Phil Hartman and John Lovitz, who I only didn't know well, but I, I knew Phil a lot better than John, but, um, um,

I didn't feel jealous. I just thought, wow, that's so exciting. You know, like I didn't. But there's something wrong with me that I don't feel that way. I actually don't feel that way. I know it's an innocence, a nice it's a nice innocence that you might you learn later, like, oh, shit, they're mad at me because of this. Or I started to feel those tingles of jealousy at SNL, to be honest. And I didn't really have it of getting on.

Yeah. Well, at Groundlings, everyone's good, too, you know, but SNL is just a whole nother level, like going from college probably to. Oh, yeah. I mean, my experience at the groundlings was all for one and one for all. And if someone gets, you know, we're all happy. And then SNL, it took me a long time to understand how to be competitive. You know, like I didn't. It was really brutal. I was really kind of a lamb fed to the sharks in certain ways. But I did adapt.

Melanie, Melanie Hutzel, we talked with recently and she did. I love her. And she's so sweet and so Southern. And she talked about that. The difference, the standups were kind of trained to kill. Yeah. Destroy elbow out. Right. And seemed like the growlings were sweeter and nicer overall. Oh, wait. I mean, I'm sure I was naive and I was and frankly, I was succeeding so much. I didn't know. That sounds arrogant to say, but at that moment I was succeeding enough that I didn't.

have any awareness of the competitiveness of it. I was just thought we were all doing it. And but then when I got to SNL, well, actually, and I feel like I had mostly really good experience there. But now that I'm older and I look back, I think I I really didn't understand what was going on. I didn't understand how hard you had to compete. I thought we were all just going to look out for each other.

Yeah, well, when Nora and Jen left and you came in, it seemed like you had a lot of... You were very active initially. You were...

Before I was beaten down. Well, you became the go-to wife. Solid utility, yeah. You were just in every sketch in a sense. You and Phil had that sort of, a lot of sketches together, right? And you were very active your first year. Yeah. I mean, Jan was mostly his wife, but I was like, I was the B-team wife. But then Jan left the show and there you were. And then you came in. You were the alternative wife. Did you and Jan overlap a year and maybe Nora? One year. Okay. A year, yeah. And Nora, not at all?

No, because I think I replaced her, if you think of it like that. Oh, you chased her out, is what we call it. No, she quit. Sharp elbows, Sweeney. There was several shows she was not at. Sharp elbows. We got some sharp elbows, Sweeney. Yeah. Don't play it. That's a good SNL book title. Yeah, sharp elbows. Well, yeah, Julia, so you come in, you get plucked from the Groundlings. Was anyone else with you, or was Phil and John already there, but you got plucked solo? No.

Yeah. And, you know, it was between me and Lisa Kudrow. Oh, really? I got it. I thought, you know, I hope Lisa gets something.

She deserves success like me. Yeah. Bless her heart. And I hope she, you go, I hope one day she makes tens of millions of dollars, you know, cause she, you know what? She deserves it. You know, what's funny. I'm not saying I, if there was room for two women and I'm saying back then it was probably a lot tougher where they wouldn't even consider that. I know. But you and Lisa would have been such a score. I mean, wonderful. I mean, yeah. So yeah.

I mean, it was it did. I kind of bought into that culture, too. Like you have three women and seven to 10 guys. That's way too many women. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good ratio. Twelve guys and three women. I really enjoyed that. In fairness, it was true that there was, you know, talk about not enough for the women. And it was true. So and it's very interesting.

It's I think nowadays they're more cognizant of it because there's a lot of great women have come through there. Yeah, I think I think you paved the way. I changed everything. I think she revolutionized us now. Yeah. And doing update and writing and bringing women in. And yeah. And pointing out that there's no reason not to have the women that if all the sketches are so male focused, that there's only women as weird archetypes in sketches here and there.

it's like you're never going to get the women used. You have to really change your whole point of view. And I don't I wasn't there, but and I don't even know Tina Fey, but I I sense that there was a huge revolution took place. That was a good one. You know, it's funny when Tina was there, that was

It sounds crazy, but it might have been the first time when there's like a sketch with all women. Yeah. Where people would be like, what? Well, she wrote about that in her book. I mean, not about the sketch, but just about why you couldn't have a whole sketch group that was all women or like, why can't why wouldn't you be able to think up a lot of sketches for a lot of women that didn't happen to have a man in it? You know, like and and I was I had that prejudice myself.

Like, I really thought, oh, yeah, you think of something for a guy to do and then you think how you could come in. You know, like it took a long time for me to see how much the sexism was even in myself. Yeah, that that was sort of the way it was. We were all there around the same time. And I remember it was just the way it was thought of good or bad. It was just the way it was thought. Yeah. It's amazing how you don't even question certain things like.

I thought of myself as a liberated, progressive person. And yet I didn't. I thought, oh, yeah, it will always be three women and 10 guys. Well, also, they Sarah Palin came in as a vice presidential candidate. So that was and then Hillary later. So that gave two political parts that were, you know,

I don't know who you could do back then, really. I mean, Senator Feinstein, she was there. Oh, you did Chelsea. Did it say that rubbed somebody wrong? Yeah, Hillary. Oh, you did Chelsea. Okay. Chelsea Clinton. And then she wrote a letter to Lorne. And then people were saying how unattractively I was playing Chelsea. And all I did was not wear makeup and put braces on. I was like, if you say that, you're saying...

unattractive like which maybe that's so but it's like that's like I wasn't trying to be unattractive with all that prosthetics you made her look horrible you're like I just went I just washed my face and then I walked in yeah I just didn't wear makeup and put on braces that was it and a wig a long wig curly wig but anyway but I understood what Hillary was saying especially now that I'm a parent like it's like yeah fuck off you know I mean don't play kids I mean

That was wrong. She was right. That was wrong. What about when Farley played? The show Apology. Who was the mayor or was it? Whose kid did Farley play? And he played him like such a moron. Jumping all over his dad and while he's giving a speech. Do you remember that, Dan? Oh, yeah. Was it Phil? Was it Giuliani?

I can't remember. Giuliani's. Yeah, it was Giuliani's 10-year-old boy, Andrew. Yeah, and he would just wear a suit and grab and eats hamburgers. Yeah, I would have been furious, of course, if you had to watch that as your own kid. Yeah. We did a lot of things that we couldn't do now. You know, I was in Lyle Bullock, the effeminate heterosexual. I know, but people mention that to me so often. I mean...

Well, people love that that describes the type of person and behavior that is recognizable that hadn't been labeled yet. I mean, like that was at least in a pop culture sense. So I feel like that. And I think that's true. That is true. There are people who are feminine and heterosexual who are men. Yeah, that's a true thing. I mean, like, right.

I don't, I actually don't even wife. I don't see how people could be offended by it. Well, what I found out later that, that, uh, pained me was that I think it was the mixer in the booth. The gentleman at the time was gay. And when that sketch came on, he recused himself. Oh, really? Someone else worked to leave her. So, and that, why does he think that being, um, a feminine mannerisms is, um,

pejorative towards a gay person. I mean, it goes both ways. You're right. You know, like, I guess I don't. Yeah, I find it hard to understand some of the stuff that people object to. But anyway, I'm with you. We're we're comedians and we're not very offendable. And we want to say the thing you're not supposed to say. It's just instinctual and do the thing you're not supposed to do. And so we're not normal. And then but that one I couldn't do today. And I did an Asian character, too.

- Oh, you're making our way to a character called Pat too, which has had a resurgence in notoriety in the last few years. I mean, there's been a lot of talk about it. - We were way ahead of the game on that. - We're behind. - We're behind, that's right. - I, yeah.

I mean, the thing for me is that I always thought the joke was mostly about the people who were around Pat, who were so flummoxed, who were so freaked out, which I thought was Christine and I at the beginning because we wrote all those sketches together.

Xander, Christine Xander, as we said at the beginning, the jokes are not on Pat, except that Pat looks weird and drools and is annoying. It's not because people aren't going to laugh at Pat for Pat's androgyny. What we're laughing at is the people around Pat

How do we understand it? That Pat's androgynous. So to me, it makes them frustrated. Yeah. And so but that's a subtle comedy thing, you know, that people. Yeah, there's people. Yeah, there's a lot of people upset by Pat. And it's and the truth is, I wasn't thinking of androgynous people as an SNL audience. You know what I mean? I was doing a character like we're laughing at this idea.

If I if I thought the audience was filled with androgynous people, I probably would have played it a little differently. You know what I mean? Like we didn't think of those people as our audience. But now you would. Now you would be aware of them. But then to me, to me, the character forget that it's Pat and no one knows whether it's a man or a woman is just a funny character.

I mean, the way she moved, the way she talked, it was just a funny character. Goofy. I guess if I did it again, I would make Pat more enigmatic and make it clear that it was about the other people and not Pat. Almost more Charlie Chaplin-esque, like just people not talking much.

just just about everyone else's reactions yeah but anyway no one's asking me to do that so no it's never too late for a it's uh pat two you know i think it's time for another one we do it for eight million at warner's oh wait let me tell you the saddest story okay now i love it i was going to i was going to new york and i was going to go to snl and bring my daughter who hadn't

I guess we've gone twice in her life, but this was one of those times. And the Supreme Court had just had a case where they had brought up Pat at the Supreme Court during the case. And Alito didn't know who Pat was. And then there were these jokes about it. And Lauren and I had been emailing each other for something else. I think I had to get permission for something. Anyway, we had had this email and and either here I was like, oh, it's not funny that the Supreme Court

joked about Pat and who on the Supreme Court knew who Pat was or whatever. And then he said, when you come to the show next week, bring your Pat outfit with you to New York because maybe, you know, I don't know. Who knows? You know, maybe we'll do something out of the Supreme Court thing. But then the actual act of the sad fact of me, you know, like at fifty eight

not at really packing my pad outfit in a suitcase and bringing it a little hoping, hoping that maybe we do a patch. Like it was really. And of course, no one even mentioned it. And the whole like I had to bring the fucking suit. And it was so it was such an offhand comment. And then I took it. I shouldn't have. Oh, God. Every time I was on a hanger. Did you show up with it on a hanger? Here's my outfit. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a really funny opening or is it an update piece? And everyone's like, is what? No, no, no one even mentioned it. And then it was like in front of my husband and daughter, which we all just took carry on. It's like, no, I have to check my my pad. Oh,

And then it's like, oh, well, I guess I really didn't need the priest. How come church lady never got together with Pat? Why was Pat not on church chat? I know, we should have done that. God. I always travel with my Tom Petty hat. He did it no matter where I go. And the mutton chops, right? Pork chops, yeah. Pork chops. You never know when someone is going to want it at a birthday party or something. Oh, my God.

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At Robert Half, we know talent. Visit roberthalf.com today. When you came on, I started for four weeks of the end of a season with Schneider, and then I think you started with Rock and Farley? No, Farley was there. I came and visited the show when he did his Patrick Swayze sketch. Oh, that was... I watched that show from the...

audience, but I wasn't on the show yet. So you came in midseason probably. Well, no, it was just I think it was the next episode. Oh, OK. Maybe I knew I was going to start, but I wasn't in that episode. Yeah, I came the week before to look at a show. They said, why don't you come early? And I think that may be what they do to us. But

and you watch it and going, oh my God, I'm going to be part of this shit. It's moving so fast. I have no idea what's going on. I think it's scary watching a practice show, knowing, projecting yourself out there a week later. How will I be out there? But you guys are, you're, cause you guys, see, to me it wasn't, but, but it wasn't scary to me, but that's not saying that it shouldn't have been scary, but,

I think because of doing sketches at the groundlings, like I it was just like I was in so many sketches and you had to learn. It was very similar to being at the ground. Yeah, yeah, you're right. That's right. That's different for me and Dana because we didn't seem scary. I just I actually had the opposite. Like I thought as I watched it, I thought, oh, I can do this. I can do this. Oh, good. Yeah. Wow. So you come in and you see all of us. So, Phil, you knew and you have great admiration for Phil and you guys were good. My teacher at.

Oh, teacher. Yeah. God, who's better to teach? He's so good. Oh, my God. No, he changed my life with his teaching. He was such a he could really not very many comedians can explain why they're funny and how they do it. And he could, you know, funny thing. I'll fill seeing around the office is how Dana knows him way better. But yeah,

how unassuming and how egoless. And he's always thinking about other things at work when I'm only thinking about SNL because I'm so, but he's so good. He would be like, hey, I might go fishing this weekend or hey. And then you think, how are you thinking of one other thing? This is driving me mental to try to

But he's just great. I just remember how organized he was. He had his folder, all the sketches, all the lines. He really made sure he knew his lines. Oh, he's so good. He took it so seriously. Yeah. And then he was so disciplined around it. And then he would have a Popular Mechanics or some kind of Motorboat Today magazine. He'd be looking at schematics of an Evinrude. And then he'd put it down and then he'd go in a rehearsal scene. Nail it. Perfect. Go back out.

I think he had that red hard cover that says Saturday Night Live in the corner in that circle. And then it was like a red hard notebook and you'd open it up, three ring binder and you put your- That's right, yeah. I'd put my two pages of script for that week in there and open it up. Aw. My update bit. It's a consistent theme with David. He had a rough time. I keep saying it. And then, so you got along pretty much like you knew, what were your first thoughts of like an Adam or something?

What's my first thoughts about what about like Sandler or Farley? Sandler came a little later, I think. All right. Maybe a year later. Yeah, I think he wasn't there right away. Ellen Claghorn was with you. Yeah.

Siobhan Fallon. Yeah, I love Siobhan. Melanie Hutzel and Beth for each season. Beth Cahill. Those were kind of your primary. I didn't really know Beth very well. She was just there for one year. But yeah, I mean, it was exciting. I mean, of course, it was the most exciting thing. You're at the center of the universe and you're at the top of what you would want to be for your career.

you know, your skillset. I mean, like it's the best. I mean, it was the greatest, most thrilling thing. I would say it was completely great till the last year.

And at first, what happened the last year? Well, I for one thing, the sketches changed. They were more bro sketches. And who would be doing that? I wasn't there was no place for me in those sketches. I mean, like there was no and I wasn't getting my own stuff on and no one was casting me. And

Christine had left. That was the big thing. So we had written together every week and she'd gone to work on Third Rock from the Sun with Bonnie and Terry and Xander. And I, I just was lost without her, frankly. And and I felt like the sketches were more. I remember something. I mean, that's why it was kind of terrible. There was some sketch where they had to have a beautiful woman. And I was listening to everyone talk about how none of the women who were on the show could be.

a beautiful woman. And they had to bring in a model because there was literally no one there that even with makeup and everything who could pass as sexual. Like and so and then I was like, wow, I'm oh, my God, really have. I mean, not that I would have necessarily been that choice anyway, but it's like,

That point of view, there just was no room for me. Now, looking back, I think I should have pushed harder of my own comedy and I should have

you know, shoulda, woulda, coulda, but everybody does. But well, Xander and the Turners who have people listening, Bonnie and Terry Turner were great writers together. Christine Xander was wonderful. So so having them in your corner or at least a piece of it or something. Yeah, it really takes a chunk away and you need every piece to keep going. And if you have a little bit slipping and I knew it would be harder, but I didn't know it would be devastating. You know, I didn't know that it would be. Hmm.

I thought bottom would drop out. Yeah, the bottom really seemed to drop out. And so there were for the first time there were sketches. I have shows I weren't wasn't even in it, you know, like and

Yeah, that was hard. It was really hard. I could hardly wait to leave at the end of that year. But up until then, though, it was fantastic. Yeah, sure. It really was very exciting. Yeah, it seemed like you I was there three three years with you and it just seemed like you were really, really active in the show. Yeah. And I think that was a big part was my youthful enthusiasm and also Christine. And you're

Yeah. And Christine, who wrote the reconciliation sketch? It was such a me that actually I had written that sketch. Well, Christine and I wrote it together, but I had had the idea and done a kind of early form of that sketch. Do you want to describe what it what it was? Well, it was.

Now I'm thinking, is that really true? Well, it's the one with Alec Baldwin plays the handsome priest. It was Alec Baldwin came on and he's so handsome. And, you know, he's just he's like he's one of those guys who's handsome and funny, as you know, blah, blah, blah. Yes. And I was telling Christine that in my Catholic high school, they had changed confession and they now called it reconciliation. And you looked at the priest in a room instead of going to a confessional.

And that at our high school, I went to an all girls Catholic high school and the priest was Father Bully. And he was so handsome that people would get so distracted telling them their sins. That's funny. Couldn't like he was so handsome. Father Baldwin. And then I would go in and start flirting with the priest. And then it was creepy. And that I would start making up sins just to stay in the confessional, you know, like just so we could keep this conversation going. Yeah.

And so we wrote that with an outlet, came in and wrote it with us. I mean, at least parts of it with us. And.

God, that was really fun. It was so much very, very funny. He was perfect casting. And you were you played it beautifully. I mean, it's just and then the best thing about that we had written a line at the end where because I'm like, I, I cheated on my diet. And he's like, well, that's not really a sin. And I'm like, oh, and then he goes, but I know I know what it's like to, you know, try to be going to diet. What did you cheat with? And I go, I ate a whole box of Oreos. And he says, oh, do you like to unscrew it and

eat out the creamy center or something like that. There you go. And then the standards and practices like you can't say eat out the creamy center. We suggest you say lick out the cream. They always get it more pornographic. It's so funny every time. Class. OK.

Really? Wow. Good. Can you say go down on the Oreo? I think that would be better. Yeah, exactly. I haven't. I am. This is just a Catholic 20 second story. My wife and I were married in a Catholic church. The priest, we went to dinner with him, this and that. They usually have a few pops. You know what I mean?

And my wife, very pretty, 23 at the time, gets up, goes to the bathroom with her tight jeans. He looks and says, if you don't marry her, I will. That was the priest. Good night. That's all I got. David? Julia, were you there when Alec, I'm just looking at your thing where it says you brought up Alec. It says she demonstrated an early talent for mimicry.

What is that? Is that like an IMDb or something? Awesome. I love it. I didn't.

I was not good at mimicry and people would often have, you know, assigning me famous people to play. And I, I feel like I really was like, see, see minus at that. Like, it feels like more special skills at the bottom mimicry. I heard you're good at mimicry and you're like, you're a mimic in third grade. Do you remember Dana? I don't think Julie was there, but Alex first show was my like third one. And he did.

A sketch called The Mimic, unless he did it later. Oh, I think, no, no, I think he had done it when he came. He had already done that. This is the stupidest sketch. And he was so funny. He goes, The Mimic. And he'd pick up the phone and go, hello. He goes, he can do anything. And then he was like kind of bad at all of them.

And because he actually is good at all these accents and stuff, but they just, and he dressed all black. Well, the classic was Frank Gorshwin. He was a brilliant impressionist on Ed Sullivan in the sixties. And he would do the classic turn, turn away from the camera and kind of fluff his hair up and then come back, which is like, look at me now, you know? I like that. I like that kind of impression. Yeah, we can do voices.

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They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is Pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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So, Dina, do you... You live in L.A. now, not in Mill Valley anymore? I was just in Mill Valley. The actual address is... No. Yeah, I was just there. We have...

The 1912 haunted house up there. And I've experienced, I don't know if I believe it, but poltergeist up there. What? And I told Dan Aykroyd about it and he says, I got to get someone in there, check it out. It's in one particular bedroom. And at night I would hear white noise because my son had moved out of that bedroom and moved in with his brother because he felt, and I would hear white noise because there was a portable radio there. So I would walk in and then the white noise would stop all that.

And it happened, you know, a couple of times a year. And I saw some things. Anyway, I'm in LA. I happen to know the top paranormal debunker in the United States.

If you're interested. I don't necessarily believe in it. I've had the nightmare where you feel a pressure on your chest, even though you're in a waking dream state. And that made me leave the San Ysidro Hotel one night with my wife at three in the morning. I woke her up and said, we have to go now because I felt the pressure on my chest.

when I'm sleeping and bouncing up and down on me. And then I went and used the bathroom, thought, okay, that's a, I was dreaming. Then I laid back down and I felt like I was awake as I am right now. And then massive pressure that felt angry, pushing down on me. And I was just couldn't move. And then it released me. Didn't you have heart issues? Like, isn't there a physical explanation for that? Yes, Dana. I had,

Seven stents and a botched bypass 25 years ago. Look at me now. Those are my issues. Let me charge myself. No, but I mean, there's always a natural explanation. I mean, always. By the way, Julie, I know a paranormal bunker. They should meet your debunker. Dana, I get scared at my house because I just moved and I don't want to hear that story because I hear like clicking in the house, settling in quotes. It's like...

And Julia will say it's a house settling, which I say, because I can't in the middle of the night when it's dead silent, you're so scared. You're like, I have to think of a reason what's going on. Cause it's always scary, but I haven't felt pressure or anything like that. I would fucking freak out. Oh, I read it. Since I became a person who doesn't believe in supernatural. Yeah. Um,

I never get scared. I mean, I get scared when I think there's a reasonable chance that something's truly wrong. But that kind of stuff, it doesn't even I just think there's some things making the sound.

I'm not frightened of it at all. Because I never got hurt. It just flipped me out the first time. But I don't know if I said this, but Mike Myers, who kind of read the encyclopedia as a five-year-old, you know, nightmare is from the word, you know, it's some medieval Latin prefix for a mare, and i.e. a horse feels like it's laying on top of you. And it's just a waking dream state. I read about it in the New York Times. The brain disconnects. David, you're fine.

I mean, that scared me and I've never heard about the horse part, but I like it. Julia, you were in Coneheads. No, we should. You were in Coneheads, weren't you? That was sort of a sign. Wasn't it or no? You weren't. I remember thinking I'm playing the principal and Chris Farley's playing a high school student and we're only like four years apart in age. That tells you a lot about show business. Yeah, that was fun. I don't remember that much about it.

Yeah, I was in it, too. Believe me, we were all in it. I think as I think Lauren just said, David, you'll be reporting to Coneheads. I was like, oh, yes, I think it was like it was like you just were told that you were going. But David, you know what I remember is that sketch you wrote.

not necessarily for me, but I got to be the main comedy driver of it. I always bring that up. And the sketch, remember the sketch where I go on the date and I just keep ordering expensive food and then I start talking about how I'm not going to put out trying to push me towards the more cheap, the cheaper food. Do you remember that? I don't. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. I have this idea for you. I'm going to write the sketch. And it was

Wow. I'm forgetting who the guy was, but it was some handsome guy. And I'm just and the whole thing was like me, like, oh, I'm so happy to be on the stage. Oh, lobster and steak. That's what I'm going to get. And then it's like, I just want to tell you that I don't ever have sex with anyone. And then it kind of goes. I mean, it wasn't that obvious, but it was really well written. And when people say those guys at SNL, they were so, you know, together and not

you know, really into the women that much. I say David Spade wrote a sketch for me. That was one of the best things I ever did. That's so great. I love that. And you know, he wasn't even in it. He just wrote it. You know, like I can't believe it was a very loving thing to do. I don't know how much it meant about me, but I took it.

That's a very, well, you probably performed it great. Cause you, right. I know you're good. I knew you're good. And, uh, it's fun to have a, a sketch and you got probably had the host in there, but when you get the funny parts, cause it's really hard. Yeah. I mean,

Because usually you're not getting to be the driver of the comedy. And you and that this character was. I mean, it was really the host was kind of just reacting to me. And you had just written it. And it was just the most wonderful gift. I mean, it was just an incredible thing. And I bring that up at least once a month. I'm telling people that. And David's so nice. And David doesn't remember. I said, that's the most baffling part of the sketches I wrote. I didn't write that many. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, thank you. And I'm glad you did it. And I'm glad you remember it and say it.

That's great. I don't want to talk about me forever, but I like that. Do you want to talk about not many people, this will go full circle, got a movie out of a character. And you did. There was no Church Lady movie. There was a Stuart Smalley movie. There was a Pat movie in the 90s. Anybody else?

of a character. I think those were the two. Those two should have been in the movie together. They would have been great. I know it. But is that a bittersweet memory? Yeah, definitely bittersweet. I had such a good time making it. We didn't know what we were doing. I didn't do it with Lorne. I didn't understand the politics. He wanted to do it, but then. Oh,

Didn't he own it? Didn't he own the character? No, I was one of the people when I came in, my lawyer got me to own Pat. Oh, OK. Matter. I mean, got it. So you owned it and did it outside the system. So I could have because I had done that character at the Groundlings. I I don't know why. Anyway,

So he did. So it was my choice. And I think I made a dumb choice not to have learned to be the producer of it because all kinds of awful things happen. Aside from the fact that we didn't write a good script. I mean, like, you know, so I don't know. It was it was really fun to to do it. And it was really fun to make it. Oh, my God. It was so much fun. And I learned so much. And then it was really a big bomb. And

But I always felt grateful for it. And I am...

I wrote to Eisner afterwards and said how I know I made it. I know I just wasted eight million dollars of your money. Really? But I learned so much and had a great time. And I know that shouldn't compensate for it because that's a lot of money. But I just want to say everything about it was really great. And thank you. I'll never forget that, obviously. And then he sent that letter around Disney as like, here's somebody who's grateful for failing. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, Julia, I did that with a movie once and I think that's so cool you did that. I felt so bad after a movie. I called the guy and said, I appreciate you doing it. I'm just so sorry I didn't do what you wanted kind of thing. And I don't think he wrote me back. But I do think for myself, I felt like I needed to do that. Yeah, I mean, you realize like now, of course, everything's so different now. But I...

I don't know how I would have done it differently. And maybe I wasn't really up to the task of turning that into something successful, but it wasn't. And, and yeah,

You know? Yeah. But I got the chance. I mean, I got the chance. But Julie, is it hard to take a sketch? I'm sorry to take a sketch difficult and and you've done a sketch and you feel like a lot of the good jokes is the reason the sketch is doing well. And then you're not really starting from scratch, but to fill the whole. Yeah, no, I think it is. I mean, actually, it wasn't too late. I didn't watch all the Charlie Chaplin movies till much later in my life.

And when I watched them, I realized not that Pat is any the character of Pat is anything like the Charlie Chaplin character, but that the way he was enigmatic and let everyone else be reacting to him while he was doing physical things would have been the way that I think it could have succeeded. But I didn't.

know enough to know that. I was in some very shitty movies, but I never felt like I was driving the boat. But I do think that funny with the sound off, like if the sound broke on a Pat movie, it would be nice to think it could still work. But to solve that dilemma, especially, you know, Stuart Smalley, these are quirky characters. They're not. I think Wayne and Garth just follow Bill and Ted and they're like dudes, you know, party on. They're very accessible. And to make Pat

Yeah, it would be a challenge because it's such an eccentric character, but visually funny. It's sort of like more for adults and Wayne and Garth could be for adults or kids, you know.

they can get into it, too. Yeah, because it's like very good. But, you know, Stuart Smalley, I watched I did I when I lived in Chicago for ten years and I was helping to teach at the Harold Ramis Film School. They have this film program that I was teaching. I was really not teaching. It was a friend of mine teaching it, but I kind of helped for one semester. And we were watching some Harold Ramis movies and he directed Stuart Smalley. And

So we watched it and you know what? I liked it. I thought it was a successful film. I, you know, I mean, it, it was, it's, it's a really quirky movie, but I was really unlike Pat. When I watched the Pat movie, I was like, yeah, this doesn't work. I mean, this really didn't work, but Stuart Smalley, I thought works. Yeah. I mean, Harold Ramis is so talented. I think, uh, talking to Al Franken, I think he's going on Fallon soon. And I told him he should, he should do Stuart Smalley. Uh,

Even for the young audience and hold Jimmy's hand, make it all about Jimmy. You know, good enough, strong enough, you know, that kind of thing. So, oh, my God, you know, I almost canceled myself, except that no cares if I'm canceled. Because after Al Franken's debacle and demise from the Senate, I was so angry and upset. I was so angry. I couldn't sleep for a month. I was so angry. And then I wrote a one person show about it.

and did it for like five Saturdays at the Groundlings small theater until people came up and said, Julia, first of all, this isn't even funny in any way. It was just me. I was all I did. I went through all the allegations. Allegation number four. You know, like I was I was crazed with anger at how the Me Too movement had been twisted up in the worst possible way to go after this great guy, in my opinion. And

I was so angry, you guys. And then I had somebody come and say, you know, you'll never work again if you open this show, because it's really just even though I'm a need to support her. But when it came to Al Franken, I just could see how that all that shit went down. And it was bullshit. And it was and.

And then people weren't talking to me. And then I finally just dropped it because I couldn't make it entertaining enough. It really was a show of me for 90 minutes talking about each allegation against Al Franken and why and my bulletin board and this and why and why and why. And and I had to stop it. I think that's when I really had went over on the other side of the culture because I felt like, OK, this I'm so angry about this. It's so unfair.

And yet the culture is, you know, I'm not, I can't influence the culture and I'm just going to wreck my own career in health over it. So I kind of just dropped it. And then I also realized I didn't really have the standing for anyone to care about

about it, you know what I thought about it. So I couldn't really even help him. And then later I finally saw Al Franken and then I realized he didn't really care if I was doing that either. I was like, I've just been doing a one person show about you. And he's like, Oh, thanks.

You don't have to. It's kind of scary because anybody, if someone from high school said I looked at them wrong in 1973 or something. Exactly. It's like, whoa, I mean, you know, there's the other, the big players, we don't have to name them, where it's pretty obvious. Yeah, exactly. And then there was a lot of people that maybe behaved a little boorishly or something, but to be canceled for life is just a bit much. No, it was really, that was really, anyway, I didn't mean to take us into sad territory, but that was really, really,

I really, really just fucking got my goat. I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. And I wanted I just couldn't I couldn't think of anything else. And it took a long time to just accept. That's how life goes in an unfair way, sometimes for some people. And that's how it's always been. I mean, like.

Not for everyone, obviously not for everyone, but sometimes you're at the wrong place at the wrong time. It's all I could thinking. It's almost like there was a huge pile up on the road and Al Franken was driving on the outside of the road and his fender caught it and he just caught up in it. You know, like one thing about Al, you can rest assured he's he's very resilient, obviously. And it's oh, yeah, yeah. No, no. When I saw him, he's already had a million ideas. Yeah, yeah.

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They launched a feature that helps you write job descriptions, make it even easier if you want to post something, you know. That's right. Quicker. 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring. Listen, post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash candidates. That's LinkedIn.com slash candidates to post your job for free. As always, terms and conditions apply.

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7-15-24 and 9-11-24 and Dell will donate $1.75 for each eligible product within your purchase to ComputerAid capped at $1.2 million total. For details and restrictions go to dell.com slash deals. I have a gear change question for Julia. You have a what? A gear change. Okay, yes, I'm sorry.

No, I don't care. We love all of it. We love all questions. I just, before I got off, I wanted to ask you if you, I read that you felt badly that you might have cracked up during Motivational Speaker, and I never thought of that of you. I never thought anything negative about that. I thought- I did. I do have a problem controlling laughing during sketches. I didn't ever think that of you. Oh, yeah. I thought, I fucked that sketch up. Me and Christina ruined it, but-

We were just laughing, which didn't really ruin it. It was just, it just, it was so rare to happen. Yeah. It was really just seeing the funniest thing and you knew that it was going to live forever and you're in the middle of it and you have the best seat in the house and I can't stop laughing. Like I, Farley in that character, I said it on another podcast. I think that's the most,

I don't know, most potent thing someone he's ever done. Maybe it just the way he squatted and got ready for his next line. It's very crisp moves. They were just it was like it was like Chaplin S. He's just going to get squatted, get set with his body before. Yeah, I that might have broke me if I was in it. I think, yeah, Phil might be the only one that didn't laugh. I know Phil is so good. He could really I couldn't.

control it. I couldn't control myself. We all started to break. And that's the problem is that we, and back then, I think they do it more now. They crack up a lot, but it was definitely a no, no, no. It was terrible to do that. You were being like, yeah, the Carol Burnett show now. Yeah. We didn't have as much fun as we could have had, you know, because I was just thought you get fired. I mean, when Phil finally broke,

Phil finally broke doing Tonto, Tarzan, and Frankenstein. And he's Frankenstein. He crashes through the thing or whatever. And then that first time, Phil broke. Phil was done. Fire back.

And then he was I was toast. And I thought, wow, this is amazing. Is he going to be in trouble? There's always fear on that. Yeah, there was. I wonder what it's like now, because I was thinking, you know, Lauren is so much older now than the people who are performing than he was from our age. You know, like for us, he was kind of an older guy, but now he's a

much, much older guy. Yeah, 76, and then a new cast member is like 22, and they're chatting about comedy. Right, I mean, that's a whole different feeling. I mean, I wonder what it's like. I don't know. The meetings are like, who's your favorite rappers? Rap singers. Right. Is Dr. Dre really a doctor? Does anyone know? Please.

I think they always seem to find a way that show to find great people. You know, you know, it's an incredible success that I didn't. I didn't think I thought, oh, it'll go for a few more years. But you really have to hand it to him. I mean, like.

It's really incredible. He is the show and he never panicked because there were so many years of like, we got to do it taped or we got to change the name and change the band. And he knew he had an incredible brand and he just stuck to it. And like Steve Higgins said, Lorne wrote the constitution of the house and then he lets it's a, it's liquid form. It can be whatever it becomes. Cause now going full circle with women, they play a lot of mint on

On the right, you probably would have done George Bush or Ross Perot. Yes. Well, the reason I played Pat at first is I was trying to play a man, but I didn't feel like it was very convincing. And so I thought, oh, I'll just make a joke that you don't know if it's a man or a woman to kind of cover for my lack of acting ability.

But now I probably wouldn't think that I'd think I could just play a man if I wanted. Julia, can we just get up? Cause we need something to trend. You know, we're, we're behind smart lists, but we're getting close. Um, do you, inside your mind, have you ever thought to yourself, was Pat a man or a woman just internally to yourself? Do you know the secret? I'm sorry. Yeah.

There is no secret. There is no secret. You know, you wish I could see you had a little soundbite. You could. Yeah, I know. I'd be lying. Making fun of soundbites. Here's a soundbite. Church lady wasn't religious. No, I don't know. We could have done a church lady becomes an atheist. That would be fun. Oh, I do think church lady with Pat.

would have been perfect. You know what I think is that they just live together and you just don't ask questions about that relationship. They moved in together, you think? I just think it'd be funny if they just like you find out that they've been together for 35 years in separate rooms, you know, but it's just curious. Church Lady just says we anyway. That would be your thing. We like to get dressed, don't we, in our clothes.

Well, we have our special clothes on that fit us in a certain way, so we can't tell quite what we are under. Dana, do you have anything else for the lovely Julia Sweeney to ask her? So you guys are both mainly living in L.A. now, right? I'm living in L.A., are you? You?

Or yes, I moved back from Chicago. And OK, so I bought a house in 1992 that I thought was going to be a starter house, but it's an ender house. And prices have gotten pricey. No, because I couldn't afford to live in this neighborhood. There's no way. No chance. So now we're my husband. I just married about 15 years ago and my husband and I. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He's a good guy. Go ahead. And we're remodeling that house. It's a small house, but it's perfect for two retired people. And so we're remodeling it and we're living next door while it's being remodeled. But it's supposed to be done in about a year.

It's supposed to be done in 10 and a half years. So are you? It takes a while. So when it's done, I want to have you guys over. That's more like it'll be really pretty and we can sit in the backyard and I'm I'm I would love it. Will you invite us? I'll go. Do you have my email or Greg will give it to you? No, Greg, you give me both your emails. Yeah, I think I saw you, David, at somebody's.

Who was it? Some a party. Anyway, David at a party. Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, Dana. Those are the good old days. But I still go out if it's someone's dinner or some small thing like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I used to have big parties all the time. I used to have a Sunday night party that was huge every Sunday. I think I was young. Yeah. But now I like four to eight small, the right people. Nice food early.

Early and early is the key. I like to eat early. I like to eat at four or five. I eat at five. And so I would have an adult beverage. We're on the same page. Yes. Yes. Early, fun, maybe Sunday, four to eight. Boom. Get in, get out. Maybe four to seven. And you're an atheist, so you won't care. It's a holy day. I am too. I'm an agnostic. I'm pretty sure I'm not an atheist. I don't know. Whatever. Joke to come.

Julia, send us a mass email and get Dane and I on there. Julia Sweeney, one of the all-time great cast members of Saturday Night Live. Thanks for having me. It's really nice to see you guys. And when your house is done, we will see you. And if we don't see you then, we'll see you at the 50th. And my hair is going to even be more weird. I guess it's pretty close to that now, right? Oh, yeah. 2025.

I get the pad outfit back in the suitcase. You little things done right as a right before I go. The last one, I really cared about being there and it was really important for me, my identity that I was on SNL. I'm in such a different place now. I don't even know if I go because I just feel like, yeah, OK, I know I want to fly.

You just, yeah, I know you can't, it's, it's, it's really, it's really about Lauren, you know, kind of, well, no, I mean, it is fun, but you don't, it's not like you can really talk to people. I mean, like you just kind of be in this. No, you're going, Hey, there's, there's, there's Bill Hader or there's, there's Melanie Hutsall. Yeah, I know it's everywhere, but nowhere. I like a small party, six to eight people. I think instead I'll just, I'll have it after you guys go, I'll have my dinner party and we'll tell you all the juice. Yes. Yes.

Juice it up. All right, Juicy. Okay, honey. I'll get your emails. Yes, get our emails. We'd love to keep in touch. And so great to see you. So good to see you. This is a fun part of this podcast. Just getting reconnected with old friends. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye is awkward. This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks.

Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.