Molly Shannon
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it.

So Dana, when I was on the road and people, have you ever been to a CVS or something? And my bill was like $4.96 and they go, round up for Ukraine? And then everyone in that line was like this, is he rounding up for Ukraine? I go, oh, rounding up for Ukraine? Oh, that's funny. I didn't even hear it. Round up for Ukraine? They just say it like that. And I go, oh, and then I go, I guess. And I go, no. And then the whole line freezes. Dana.

David Spade doesn't round up for Ukraine. I go, well, where is it going? You're taking my four cents in like a fanny pack in the Ukraine. You throw it over the wall. I mean, I don't know what's happening. I'm buying an avocado. It used to be like, would you like to help the children? I'm like, well, how are you supposed to answer that? I know. Not today. You hate kids? Why do they need so much help? I mean, honestly, today I don't think so. So, you know, you want to Ukraine it up. And you don't know what's going on and you don't know where it's going. And I want to ask questions. And this is just my two cents. Really, it was four cents.

But they go, so no rounding up for Ukraine. I'm like, well, I like Ukraine. Everyone's like, psst, psst, doesn't like Ukraine. Psst, psst, wants Russia to win. And I go, no, no, I'm just saying, four cents, I'm rounding up, but where does it go? I want to follow it. No, they're always trying to hit you at grocery stores. I remember, give a nickel for Mr. Pickle. And I didn't even know what it meant. I go, who's Mr. Pickle? I'm just trying to buy an avocado. I always say, give a nickel for Mr. Pickle. Give a nickel and touch my pickle. People go, meh.

Give a dollar. Let's all holler. Remember that one? Yeah, that was out there for a little bit. I mean, there's so many point of purchase things. You just sort of go, do you want to donate? And you're right. You're just not sure where the money's going. Molly Shannon is wealthy. The thing about Molly Shannon, S-H-A, I thought it was one N for about 20 years, but it's two Ns. Why would it be one? I just, just fancy talk. I'm just spitballing. Good luck on wheeling fortune with that one. Molly Shannon has a cool name. Let's put it that way. And she has a...

bestseller book out, "Hello Molly." - Molly's one of the loveliest people to talk to. And she's so interesting, you know, she was at Norm's Memorial recently and she spoke very articulate, very interesting the way she puts things. She's not always like diving for the jokes like me,

She's not so thirsty like that. She's just very thought out, very authentic person. Yeah, she has a dry, funny, sensual humor. When I've run into her over the years, we're instantly laughing.

I remember telling her, I hadn't seen her in years. I go, should we try to get famous again? And she immediately thought that was funny. She starts laughing. Yeah. The idea of trying to get famous. Good audience. She's so talented that she's always working. And she's in our friend Manessa Bayer's show. And the title of that is. Which is good on Showtime, yeah. What's the title of it? It's one of those. It's called, it's kind of a condescending title. I love that for you. I love that for you. Yeah. Or, yeah. Yeah.

So, Molly Shannon is obviously one of the all-time great performers. Superstar! And got a movie with a character, her cheerleader character. One of the SNL movies. Of brilliant physical comics. She used to throw herself around on that show.

Yeah, she was doing like Farley-like maneuvers. She really was. She was really hurting herself. Steel chairs, not fake ones, like steel folding chairs. Yeah. She would dive into them. Yeah. Lauren would swing a bat at her just for practice on 8H. I'll just go higher, go lower. And she would dodge it. You know those drills they used to do? You won't catch spade diving in anything but styrofoam. I won't even do that. I don't do anything.

I broke my ankle on a movie and I broke my shoulder on Saturday Night Live. Grade three separation, actually, and it still hurts. All right, guys, here it is. Molly Shannon. Molly Shannon, enjoy. It's amazing. This is such a great idea. Congratulations, guys. I love this. Thank you, Molly. And, you know, Molly...

A bunch of high school friends and I chipped in and we bought a Bitcoin. So I'll let you know how that goes. Okay, great. I like how we're very quiet. Yes. I have a card. You know, I like when people talk this way. Like sometimes if I, like if a, if a fan comes up and it's like, I just wanted to say that, you know, I'm like, Oh,

I feel so relaxed by your voice. So I'll keep talking to them if I like the voice. I think that you, I think I relate that to you because maybe you talk like that in sketch or something, or maybe we've talked about that. That's where you did it. I've talked about this in interviews, but I actually have something called ASMR for real, which is like a type of response to certain voices where you feel really relaxed.

That's what it is. It's real. I've had it since I was a kid. So, Store, the game that we used to play, David, is kind of based on that. But it is really real. Like, if a certain – if I ask, like, a stranger for directions and say they had a certain voice where they were like, okay, let me just get the map. And then they touch the map and they have a certain type of voice, it puts me in a very relaxed state. So, is it like Zellig, Woody Allen, that you start to become them in a way? Yeah.

Like, hi, Molly. I'm just a really big fan. And you go, thank you so much. I love that. She just keeps asking for directions. No, it's not like that. I love that for you. It's a feeling of like, it feels almost like getting a massage. It's like, oh, I love this voice. I do that too. It's like when you were a kid and people would read you stories, if you got the right voice to read your story, that's what you wanted. Yeah. Some teachers had it.

sometimes when someone reads you, go to sleep, you know, when you're little and you just go lock into it and you go, oh, it's the best. And then you zonk out. It's great. You would read the story and I'm in second grade and the teacher was like 25 and had like nine long stockings on and a short dress. I was just sort of, it made you feel funny. Um,

Oh, boy. It made me feel funny, like when I used to climb the rope in gym class, where that came from. Anyway, I don't know why I went there, but... Wait, wait, wait. So, you're saying that she would have stockings on? Well, it's just that first time I'd seen an adult woman, and they were very beautiful. They were second grade teachers. It's the 60s. Anyone can be a teacher now. And they were pretty young women, and they would have just a normal skirt on, and crossing and uncrossing their legs. And I'm...

seven, eight or nine. I just sort of got a little tingly. That's when you start noticing women and you go, oh, I like this. And then they're not doing anything wrong and everything is sexual to you. Yeah, they're just really sweet. They're just living their life and you're like, whoa. Yeah.

So she's walking. That's great. It's like when you fell in love with the lifeguard. Remember in seventh grade? I just made this up. You know what I mean. I was like, what? I like that there's so much in her book, and it's the only thing that isn't in her book about the lifeguard. I have a question for Molly about your book. Okay. Great, David. You...

Worked at Cravings. Is that in Santa Plaza right here? Yes, it's right near here. Is it still here? No, it closed down. That was here forever. It was here forever. The best grilled lemon chicken salad and really good pastas. I worked there for about four and a half years. I love it. I read all that part of your book. And then I started in the beginning this morning. It's great.

really compelling. Thank you, It wasn't like, oh, we got a book, we got a, okay, what? Dana's one was like very well written. Thank you, And I wanted to ask, how old were you and how long did you go at Cravings and when did you leave Cravings? How old were you? Is that something I didn't get? Yes, I worked at Cravings for four and a half years and I,

I got Saturday Night Live when I was 30. But I had left Cravings, I think, a couple years before that. So from 23 and a half to 28? Something like that. Yeah, about like that. But we had fun. Ibrahim, our boss, hired really good people. So we would have parties at night and dinners. We had a blast working there. That's right in that strip where you can sit on the street at sunset, right? Now, it said here that you were an improv and you would call people.

to come to your shows like a bringer show like you'd say is that true you made a bunch of phone calls it said like 500 to get 200 people to show up yeah I would use I was it was before email so I would tell my customers oh I do this comedy show called The Robber you gotta come see my show what's your name and they're like oh Ben I'm like oh what's your girlfriend's name Melissa okay Ben and Melissa give me your number

So then when I did a show in Santa Monica, I would pack the house with like 200 people and I would just invite one industry person per show and make it like this hot show. But really, I was calling everyone myself like, hi, Ben, I met you at Cravings. Can you and your girlfriend Melissa come to my show? Yes. Okay,

great. And I would make all these calls. And when I got Saturday Night Live, I took that box of name and phone numbers that I'd saved from all my waitressing days and threw it in the dumpster because I didn't have to call anyone anymore to invite them to my show. That's nice. Did you light the dumpster on fire? It sounds very dramatic. No, I didn't light it on fire, but it was dramatic in that I took that box and I was like...

you know, all the little papers went flying. By the way, it worked. All that work paid off. It did. Go get her then. Yes. You got Marcy. Now, where did Marcy see you? Marcy Klein, talent coordinator for SNL. Marcy Klein came, flew out. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh, oh,

Oh, please. Thank you. Almond milk. I got to get some biscotti. With Molly, some almond milk. Coffee in an Ellen mug. Yes, with almond milk. That's so nice. Sorry about that. Just fill that anywhere, Molly. It doesn't matter. Marcy Klein came out to see my stage show. The Saturday Night Live producer and producer. Well, she wasn't a talent manager, but she was in charge of the show.

In charge of talent or something? You had a couple of headings, Marcy. Yeah, she was the producer, talent coordinator, but she came out to LA and saw my show and loved it. And then she was like, I'm bringing you to New York to audition for Saturday Night Live. So fun. Yes. Marcy was a big part of all that because she was there when I was there. She was in on my audition. She was in on yours probably, huh?

Nope Whoa Do you guess it was at Dana's audition? Go ahead, Dana Give it to her Okay, this is a 30 second story about me Okay I was on SNL I played Brown University Wow And there was a woman in front that was kind of eclectic or friendly or whatever And she had gigantic hair So I did a comedian's trick of calling her Big Hair Woman Oh yeah So I became a runner It's an old comedian So hey, Big Hair Woman What do you say? Yeah So it ends up that was Marcy Cline Okay

And then Marcy, the year next year, comes to SNL. I remember her from Brown University. So when we have her on this podcast, I'll call her Big Hair Woman. She has an incredible audition. What famous singer was at your audition?

Well, that was, I did it in Santa Monica as well, a little club called Igby's. Igby's. And Rosie O'Donnell was playing there and I had to ask, I didn't even know Rosie O'Donnell. She seemed like the most confident person I ever met. Yeah. Could I lean in on your show and I'm going to bring Lorne Michaels? Yeah. And then she said, okay. And we flipped a coin. I went on first, but Lorne walked in.

Brandon Tartikoff, head of the network. What? I go, God, I'm getting really nervous. And then Cher saddled in. So that was my trio three shot. Here's your life. If I didn't make it that night, I think I'd be working at, what was it? Carrie's? Carney's? Where'd you work? Cravings. I know it's gone, but I'd reopen it so I could work there. And how many

minutes did you have Dana I was actually doing the stand-up thing route so I had an hour hour 10 of stand-up amazing but you would audition at the comedy store and you do five minutes well isn't that special get off didn't work I bombed every time I followed Kenison once

Dead silence. So this time I had 45 in a real club. Yeah. And I was just scared out of my mind. When Marcy saw you, did you, how was your nerve level at that point with your act? Were you getting really confident or were you nervous when Marcy was there or you didn't know who she was? Oh, let's see. She came to my, yeah, so she flew out and came to see my stage show, which was about an hour, the Rob and Molly show.

And I was definitely nervous. Well, I was very excited that we got her to come see my show. So I was just thrilled. So I had kind of taken off a year from doing the shows because I was like, I don't know if I have the heart to stay in this business. So really, a year before that, I really thought I might quit because I'm a real estate agent or I don't know. I don't know.

But then I heard Marcy was coming to town, so I whipped together a show for the last minute and I paid for the band and asked my partner, Rob. I said, do you mind, could you do one more show, please? And I'll take care of everything. I'll invite everyone. It's all you have to do is show up. And he said, okay, so...

I was just really just excited that she was there. And it was a great feeling in the audience. And so, but yes, I'm sure I was nervous. But then for my actual audition flying to New York, I had five minutes at Stand Up New York with, and I got to do characters. And let's see, I'm trying to think.

Yeah, so that I was definitely very nervous for. Because you're not a stand-up. Well, I'm just interested, you know, if anyone's hearing this and they're like at a theater group in high school or something, that you, Molly Shannon, was thinking, maybe I'm going to quit. Maybe I'm not going to do this. Yeah, exactly. Of course, I think we all think that. And then 18 months later or something, you know, a talent coordinator from SNL, and then you're on your way. Yeah. So we had reinforcing mechanisms being stand-ups. That's how I made a living. So I couldn't quit. But I quit several times, obviously.

in college. I mean, I bombed so bad. So how did you deal with that? Did you feel like you went into kind of a depression? Let's see. I never really got depressed for a long period of time, but I remember I had an audition on

on a lot in the valley. I forget if it was CBS Radford and I remember not being asked to stay. It was one of those things where you could see the girls who were, they were going to say, we're going to go straight to producers at five o'clock. So you kind of know, they hang around and you kind of know, you say you can go. Yeah. And you get to know the girls on the circuit, kind of the comedy girls or groundlings girls. And I went and did my thing and they were just like, thank you.

Thank you, Molly. You know, like, next. And then I walked out to the room and you could see the girls who were being asked to stay. And I was just like, bye, everyone. Good luck. My heart melted, you know. Crushed. Crushed. And I went out to the parking lot and I saw this great actress named Catherine Lanassa. And she's just so lovely. And she was like, what were you auditioning for? And I think I forget what it was, but...

She was just so casual. And I remember she was like doing stretches by her car, like ballet and stretching her leg. And I was like, oh, I wish I could be easy breezy like Catherine Lanassa, not caring. And I was feeling dark, like, oh, this is so, so much rejection. And I think I'll just go to Gelson's and get a half a chicken and go home and close my shades and call it.

Pulled on a knife. Pulled my half a chicken. That's so crazy. I love it. It kind of sounds delicious, though, in a way. It was delicious, yeah. And that is what I did. But I just, in that moment, was like, I don't think I have the heart for this anymore. This is just too hard. So much rejection. Yeah. So that's when I gave up for a year. I would be sitting in auditions, and it's so depressing with Brad Pitt next to me and going like, are you reading for Hunk also? Well, let's see who gets it.

Let's stay friends after, though, if I get it. Anyway, I read for Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. Did you really? They gave me a scene partner, and I sucked. You've seen my movies. I mean, I didn't know what I was doing. So Paul Newman's there, and I'm in awe of Kool and Luke. And he had these red socks on, and Joanne Woodward had a little dog. And I just got confused. But I'm with a scene partner, and she was really good. But we just fucked up.

And we went outside the room and I go, man, that went bad. She goes, you fucked me, man. Oh, no. And Robbie Benson got the part. Robbie, if you're listening, congratulations. Robbie Benson really did get the part. Robbie Benson, Harry and Tonto it was called. Robbie Benson is a badass actor. But yeah, I felt bad that I took her down with me.

I apologize to Sherry O'Terry years later. No, I'm kidding. That's a joke. Were you just cold reading the scene? Yeah, you'd get it and you'd hold the script and you had a few minutes to look over it. I was a terrible, were you a good auditioner, do you think, and just had bad luck or were you, I was. Let's see, I think, well, what about you? So I can't imagine you messing that up, Dana. Um.

- I was terrified of acting. I was good at like doing my own comedy, but to me, actors were, it was, I never took any acting lessons. I never did any theater groups. So it was like, what? I gotta sound like someone else. It seems very easy now to me. Like I can really act good now, but I'm a little late to the game. - So you know, sometimes people look down on you. Like if they hear you're a standup or maybe improv, if you're with actor actors, and I've been in auditions,

And they go, so you're a standup? And I go, yeah. And I see him going, oh boy. Like they know, they think you're already, they're already winning. And they kind of are because it is harder. I had, I thought I was so naturally good. And I heard Eddie Murphy never took a class. So when I moved out here, I got some auditions right away because I was like blonde. I was 20, I looked 15.

And then I was like, I'm so naturally funny. So I didn't know what I was doing, but I'm just like reading. And I was, and they're like, he's horrible. Like they just go, he doesn't know what he's doing. And I go, no, I'm naturally gifted. And I wasn't. And then I had to do two years of class because they wouldn't bring me back for auditions. They said he's too green. Oh my gosh. And it was such, all my heat went away. I got to town, I had some heat. Yeah. And then it went away. And then two years later, I'd start again from scratch. That's so good. Of like, I know a little more. Like, I didn't know how to hold the side. I didn't know how to look up or look down. Yeah.

And you just need to have a little confidence to go in front of an acting teacher, say, when you walk in, do you do this? And she goes, no, that's a red flag. So then I just learned, oh, so if I just go in and I don't do these things, at least I'm in the mix. I read for Brandon Tartikoff. Did you? And right before, and he was going to give me a holding deal. It was already all set. And I walked in and this motherfucker, Dennis, somebody, head of casting, I'm in the waiting room. I got a coach. I went over my fucking size. I didn't know what I was doing. And he walks in and he goes, oh,

oh, I think we're going to do these. And he switched it, took it out of my hand, put in a new thing. He goes, and I go, this is a new scene. They go, yeah, they go ready for you. And I go, no, no, I didn't have the balls to go. Give me a second. I walked in. I just read it off the page and they go, thank you. And they go, and my manager goes, how'd you fuck that up? I go, what do you mean? He goes, there's no development deal. He said, you're too green. I go, well, they did the old switcheroo on me. He goes, well, no one's going to remember that part.

I read a love scene with Lynn Stallmaster in a room with a dark big casting director, right? Oh yeah, Lynn Stallmaster. He's a man. Yeah, he's a man. But it was just me and him alone reading a love scene. I'm with this guy in a room and the lights are down. I care about you so much. Don't you understand? Yeah, well, I like you too. My name's Judy, as you know. You know, I mean, it's like so. It's so hard. Let's get back to our guest. Let's get back to Molly.

You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony, which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Yeah.

just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, it, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, uh,

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. You want to- So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

So get started today with a compatibility quiz. So you can find some and you can be yourself with. Get Who Gets You on eHarmony. Sign up today.

Wait, I have to ask one question. David, how old were you when you came to town? 20. 20? No, he looked 15. But you could play... I tried audition with your... I had a box of props. Gross. And I waited at the improv. And you know what's funny? I had a Batman sweatshirt on to sort of signal I liked comedy. Like, this is kind of like a cost. That's a good idea. So gross.

But I was like, I'm kind of funny already, right? It was just a bat. I was like, huh? And they might stop me on the crowd and go, you don't even need to audition. I know you got something going on. That's funny. And so I got... And then, Dana, you might've done this. They go every three minutes, they pull it out of a hat. But I think it's all rigged because...

It's even worse because you don't get sickened by your audition. Every three minutes you're sick because they go, is this it? Hey, hey, Jim Squankmeyer. Nope, nope. Got three more minutes. And then every, that's all until midnight. Then they go, just go home. Well, that's it folks. And I was like,

Oh, I never got picked. So I gave up again for a year. And then I came back to LA. See, everyone quits. Try it again. Everyone quits. It's just the way it is. You have to be a quitter. I want to hear what happened when you walked into an audition room. Because when I walked into it and I'd see all these versions of myself, like really...

auditioning for the same part boys looking men with no chins and just sort of like so I'm like oh this is me I'm part of this tribe so when you when you walked into a Molly Shannon did you see versions of Molly or was it I mean I definitely when I started to get further along there were definitely like you know you probably auditioned opposite Groundlings girls like really talented kind of that those really fantastic comedy girls yeah um

But before that, no, I don't think so. But I would usually audition for like the best friend or whatever that type of thing. When did you get really... When did you kind of... Or did you always have it? Because I was reading your book last night. But I just... Your internal confidence. I'm always fascinated by that. Or is it confidence? Because I would say mine would go up and down. Do you have...

I mean, there's a Molly in there that goes, fuck these people. I'm fucking great, right? Get out of my way. Or how do you process your talent and what happened to you? How do you process it? Or is it just surreal to you? I think sometimes if I felt like... I remember auditioning for a commercial. And I was a waitress at the time. I didn't have a lot of money. But they were just like...

kind of rude. These like producer writers were all there and kind of blaming the actors and no, no, you know, and, uh, I was just like, and all these really cool actors were auditioning. And, and then I went and did it. And I think they weren't really paying attention and they're just like acting disinterested and they were making everybody wait for a really long time. And, uh,

I think when I was finished, I said, you know, the problem you have is the writing. The actors are all really good. These people are talented. You got to fix your script. This writing is not good enough. Okay, good one. Because I was just like, I just, so I could be tough that way and just not care if I knew that something was right. I would get, I think sometimes that's a good thing.

You know, sometimes if you feel angry, that can be healthy, you know, standing up for yourself. So I definitely did stuff like that where I was like, I don't give a shit, you know? They start treating you so shitty sometimes in those auditions. Anger. They don't even look up. They don't do anything. They know they're not taking you. They look at you, look down and go, oh yeah, they're out. And then they go, go ahead. And they go, we're not doing the other scenes. That's the worst. Because the person before you is there for 25 minutes and they're laughing and chuckling and really clicking the heels. And then I read one scene, they go, we're just doing one. I go, that last person did nine. Yeah.

And then they go, well, we're just doing one with you. I go, hmm. Yeah. So I was so good. I got it just from that. They're like, we'll explain it in the parking lot and get them out of here. Exactly. And I understand I was working with the public all the time as a waitress. And so I was always polite. And so I just thought, yeah, it's disrespectful to treat people that way. So at any level, I don't think that. I do think subplaning anger for fear is just a nice move forward.

You know, like I have a fear of flying and sometimes I'll just manifest anger to myself. Fuck this thing. Let's fucking light this candle. You know, it's just a good way to get aggression out, you know. Wait, you mean that you, so you'll be. Fearful, anxious. To fly and then you'll start saying like, fuck this plane. Fuck this plane, let's light this candle. You know, I don't know. My data's never amazing. I never see you mean anyone though.

Unless it's really, really People like me, I'm a nice guy Which is kind of, it could be also What an obnoxious, passive-aggressive guy Depends what song you like But I had horrible anger issues in my 20s And I would be nice until I wasn't nice Never make a nice guy mad

Because then they have all this suppressed anger stored up. And I would go zero to a thousand with a bank teller or a director. And I never had a middle gear. Then I figured out, God, I have all this anger from my childhood. So I've been better. It's like Molly said, if you bully, I get that. I get bullied all the time. So all my whole life. So if you get pushed around, you get this. Or someone's very disrespectful. I snap on a dime. David, did you get bullied when you were a kid? Oh, my God. Non-stop. Non-stop.

You did? For what? When you were in grade school? I was a bit of a pipsqueak. I wasn't this strapping athlete you see today. And I was always pushed around and I didn't have a dad, you know, and I was mad my dad wasn't there. So one time I fought back on this kid in sixth grade and he kept pushing me and hitting me for no reason. And it was so humiliating.

And then I'm like, it just came out like my dad left me. You want all this anger? And I just went bananas on him. And he went down his back and I started beating the shit out of him. And the whole school is watching. And they, and he crawled up and he goes, the coach is coming. And he ran. The coach was not coming. Well,

What was his name? I love it. Oscar. Oscar. Oh, yeah. Sandler brings him up a lot. Ronnie Carrasco was my last fight. Ronnie Carrasco, you know, called me out in seventh grade. We're terrified all day. Then this kid was like in fourth grade, go, we can hear the punches, man. We can hear the punches.

And then you just get them in a headlong. Anyway. Molly, I had boys in high school. I should say all their names right now because they deserve it. They're funny to hear. When I would walk by, they would neigh at me like...

And it really hurt my feelings. All the time. It's like, what are they? Why are they doing that? Do they think that I look like a horse? And it was humiliating. And I wish I would have spoken up or told, you know, the head of admissions or the headmaster, but I never did. I would just take it every day. And then I heard that it was because there was a horse named Molly in Animal Farm. And I was like, that was it? Kind of annoying. Even dumber. But every day, that's it.

So mean. God, if we could call those guys right now. Should I say? Get it out. They were twins. Assholes. I'm not going to say. No, no, I won't say. All twins are on standby right now. Two twins and another one. And they were such dorky twins. By the way, Sandler bullies me because I told him that story 10 years ago. And then now we're like, we're doing a gig in St. Louis. And he looks out of the crowd and he goes,

I think Oscar's here. And I go, get the fuck out. Oh, he kind of drops my heart for a second. So you talk about him a lot. I just did to like those guys. Oh, funny. I never heard Oscar. Oscar, who just was rabbit punching me, which is illegal. I'm talking to some people at Little League and he just starts rabbit punching me in the back of the head. I'm like,

And then immediately a circle around me. I go, no, no, there's not a fight here. Wham in the face. I'm like, I don't know. I can't get mad. I don't know what we're fighting about. If you'll explain it to me, I'll gladly. Yeah. Well, at least it was outside the house. I got beaten in the house and outside the house. No, but I kind of ran. You did? Why didn't you? Well, your daddy liked to get a little...

Physical? Throw things around. It used to be like a fun podcast. I have a lot of questions for you, Mr. There's plenty of people who had a couple whoopings and I'm not exotic. That was sort of the drill back then. But my childhood, that's a whole other issue. I have so many questions. Molly, if you don't start a podcast, you're the most curious guest we've ever had.

We can't even get to. Dana, you can't let that slip by me because now I have so many questions. Wow. I know. We'll talk afterwards. Okay. Is that still rolling? We're going, right? Yeah, yeah. I want to talk about- Yeah, it is. A lot of things. No, I have to ask you about a stand-up comic named- I don't like that character. You did a character, right? I don't remember. I think I remember. Oh, Jeannie Darcy? And it was, don't get me started. I love that character. Were you very like-

Very monotone, is that what you said? Yeah, she's kind of like on the spectrum maybe, but trying to get into a stand-up comedy. Has a lot of dreams, but really not gifted. But she's like, don't get me started. Don't even get me started. And she does comedy about dating, but she's probably like, you know, very out of touch with herself. But so she does, but I love doing that character. I did it at the very end of SNL and I purposely did it to not get any laughs because

because I was kind of sick of always, hey, you gotta make them laugh. That's funny. Then I did the opposite. That's great, yeah. And I really just did it to- Because your jokes aren't really nailing it right. They're probably bad, right? Yeah. Intentionally bad. Yeah, I did intentionally. And I did it to kind of make Jimmy Fallon laugh and Will Ferrell laugh. It was really kind of just for them and-

The audience did not get it at all, which was perfect because I wanted it to be like dead silence crickets. And it took a while to get it on because, you know, if you put something through once and it doesn't get on, you really shouldn't push it again. But I pushed it through again and it finally got an update. And, um,

And it was great. And then with Jimmy, I did it. Yes, I did it with Jimmy. Yes, I did it with Jimmy. And then I did. And then Scott Wainier wrote a version where I was performing at an old age home and like, don't get me started. Don't even get me started. Yeah, I remember that. You know, when men leave the toilet seats up and she would do this dorky comedy about men versus women. And, and,

Basically, in the sketch, there were people dying in the old age home being wheeled out who would die. Their pulse has stopped and I'm still doing my stand up and I have no... I don't... The character has no sense of... She doesn't care if people are laughing or... I love it so much. It's the most fun. So do you feel like you're more confident like that? I feel like I was the most confident the day I stepped off SNL. Is that right, Dana? I kind of always have a part of me like maybe two more seasons because I finally didn't give a fuck in the best sense of the word.

that expression. Yeah. Did you feel like at that point you're making Jimmy Fallon laugh? I mean, you must have evolved in terms of just, you

you know, after doing, you did a hundred shows, you just feel different about doing SNL, right? At that point, there's a confidence. That's true. I think Lauren's world is so different than Hollywood. Like Lauren doesn't care when anybody thinks he's like, I like them. He'll take somebody and he doesn't care. He does his own thing. That's what I found refreshing. Whereas maybe I felt the town of Hollywood before I got SNL was a little more like

kind of people following people or, you know, Lorne just decides what he wants and he doesn't care what's being... I know, he is a master of his own world. They don't fight him on everything. Yeah, he's so good. So I really liked Lorne's world and yes, I felt like it was like a comedy boot camp. I felt like

I got to a point there where I really started to enjoy it. I was like, you know what? I'm not going to worry about if I get something on or not. I'm just going to enjoy it like a creative arts camp. Like, like I'm working with these amazing writers and talent and such talented people that if I start to look at it more as like an arts camp, like a fun, you know, that then I could enjoy it more. I mean, look, we all know it's competitive, of course, but,

But I changed my philosophy about it like three quarters of the way through there. I just started to really enjoy it. It's fun. Like pretend like it's like a summer camp for creative people. Did people call me down? Because when I was battling nerves, we've talked to Bill Hader and others around the nerves of SNL. Yes. And then I'd come out and I would see...

at the church they said and I would see Phil in his costume Phil Hartman and I would see Jan and they would call me down like these are my people and love it they're so good like it's so much fun to have people that are pretty much whatever damage why we do this who we are

In this little tribe against the world. It's nice, isn't it? That is so cool. So it sounds like what you're saying is that you would just feel like you're just with them and you could tune out the outfit. Well, wouldn't you say we're feral there and you're walking into the set? Or Anna, you're safe. You got somebody good. It does kind of calm you down a little bit. You're more excited and you're in it together. Exactly. I actually... Will and I wrote this sketch once where we were...

Two characters. We did it center stage, so there's no excuse to not get a lot of laughs because it was easier. And we played two characters who'd recently lost 100 pounds, and the sketch twinked. Not a laugh, but Will and I made a deal when we went out there. We were like, okay, if it's just crickets, we're just going to commit harder. See, I love that. And we were looking at one another, and like a twinkle in our eye, like, oh, shit, we are bonkers.

And then we just performed it harder and harder. Like, can you hold your breath? And nobody was laughing. I wish I could have a copy of this sketch. And it was just exactly like you say, Dana, like such a bonding. It's like, it's all I cared about was me and Will, Will and me. Nobody else matters. And this might be the most fun I have ever had. And I feel like you have to embrace the bombing as much as the...

because they really go together. You know what I mean? It might be a clever bit because sometimes the audience doesn't, if they don't get it, they sometimes feel like they're missing it and they go, this is good because in the old days you do a sketch like Cheet Burger, Cheet Burger, they don't know why it's funny. And then they go, remember that great sketch? And Dan Aykroyd goes, oh, Conan's bombed three times. Like they would just keep doing it. And then finally it clicks in and people go, I love this one.

And it takes a while to get why it's funny. And sometimes it's not so easy where it's just like joke, joke, jokes, or I'm a crazy character. And they go, I get that. But when you're doing something very dry, that's fun. And if they stick with it, sometimes by the end of the sketch or the next time you do it. You know, Molly, you did all these styles. You do this sort of very subtle acting. And then you're doing...

Mary Catherine Gallagher Yeah And so that would be If the sound broke at a bar They're watching SNL The sound was off That was still gonna get laughs And then it was also funny with the sound It was like an atomic bomb of comedy, right?

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's so sweet. That character was so fun. I mean, yeah. Did you not audition for that or am I crazy? I didn't audition for that because there was a woman around town who was calling herself kind of the unofficial talent scout who, I won't say her name, but she was like, whatever you do, don't do that. Little character, Mary Catherine Gallagher, when you audition for Lorne, because if you do that, you'll never get hired. What? So I listened to her. Yeah, isn't that crazy? What a brainwasher. Well, I had it with Church Lady. You did, didn't you? I had managers that...

that said uh you're doing that too much in your act my stand-up you're coming off gay you know this is the 80s the worst case scenario i would only do five minutes out of a 75 minute stand-up set i'm only doing five minutes nah it's too much you're coming off gay kid interesting and did you do it when you had that stand-up audition when lauren michaels was there with brandon yes yes yeah that was in my quiver yeah and i bet lauren loved it um um

He said he knew at that moment. I went through a further audition and I was terrified, but he said he'd already decided at that moment. Thanks. You had me at stress, Lauren. I love Lauren. You know what? The thing that's great about Lauren, because you're making me a nostalgia for him, is that he loves funny people. He does. He loves us. Yes. He loves us. He just loves that we're doing this. Yeah, yeah. He really does. It's so sweet. He's...

He is truly a legend and the thought of him not being there is just, I can't even imagine it. It's his show. You mean the show. It's his show. It's him. They've become one. They've integrated. And he has so much love. You know, people don't know that about him. And he's such a deep thinker and loyal and funny and so intelligent. Do you still talk to him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

He's fun to talk to after the show. He's the best. He sort of has this, you know, he's a little intimidating at first because he's so like, but he's so vulnerable underneath all that. It's still your boss. Always, forever. It'll be like, that's my boss. Yeah. But he's sentimental. I mean, now that I'm, after I turned 60, I just tell people I love them and stuff really casually. Sandler did it when he was in his 20s. You're coming off gay. You're coming off gay. That's what Sandler said. No.

So funny. Your agent calls you out of the blue. I heard you told your friend you loved him. You're going gay. Are you still there on that lady character? Double gay. Get out of my sight. Wait, who's the manager who said that? You can't say. Oh. No, that's okay. You don't have to say. You don't have to say. Yeah. It was, you know, look, they...

It was the Twins. It was the 80s and, you know, whatever. I don't want to say, but it was a big talent agency. And I don't think they were trying to fuck with me. They really believed that because if you're not listening to the character, well, well, well, just sounds like, you know, you could say it sounds like a stereotypical I'm playing some effeminate character instead of a church lady. Not a clever church lady character. It's very clever.

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We should talk about the injuries you took, because that was a big part of your book. Are you okay? I am. I am okay. Are you all right? Orthopedically. Because I remember you threw yourself around like barley, and he would be really in pain. And I think I remember when I was still there, we had overlaps because we did play store. You guys were cast members together. And lovers. And you weren't, I know you wrote, but were you also paid as a writer or not? No. No.

Not the whole run. Paid as a writer? No. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, we all wrote. I think they dropped my writing credit when I went full cast. But everyone still writes for themselves, obviously. Yeah, we write. And people at home don't know that if you write, it's fun to write with a writer from the show because you have to have someone watch it. You know, like from the booth when you're rehearsing, if you write it yourself and there's no one else involved...

Who's watching? I don't even know who watches it. You have to write to get yourself on the show. It's a writing job. Steve Korn. Who'd you write the best with? I wrote with so many different people like Paula Pell and Steve Korn. But basically it feels like when I first got there, I was so, you know, oh my gosh, how do you figure this out? But it just takes, you know, feeling comfortable with one person in the room. I think you have to be able to be yourself. But I always tell people who are trying to get into writing that

if you just have that one person that you can be in the room with where you don't feel dumb throwing out ideas and you can really fully be yourself, that's all it takes, you know, or write by yourself. And if you're a writer, it's good to lock into someone else that's good because if you can write for someone, you see these writers that are like Tim Hurley, he's with Sandler for every movie. Like there's a lot of people that are double up and they just do movie after show after movie. And it really is important to find someone you can lock into on the show. I think what I was saying about Mary Catherine is,

I think they were using steel folding chairs. And I remember going, are those real steel folding chairs? There's no, she keeps falling on them. I remember feeling worried for you. You did, Dan? I mean, I've seen it live. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, that looked gnarly. Back on to whatever you're falling on. Yeah. I was kind of reading your book last night. Like you were like another type of Farley. I mean, I don't think many people threw themselves around the 8-H. Like you did in that character. And you kind of got in a hypnotic state in a way, or you'd be right.

I would feel nothing. Just talk about that. Yeah, I felt nothing. I didn't feel the pain when it was going on. I would throw myself into metal chairs and do crazy stuff.

And I look at that now and I'm like, oh my God, I'm so glad I didn't break my neck or, you know, my back. Yeah, I wasn't even thinking about that. But then the next day when I would wake up, I would definitely feel like, oh, my muscles hurt and I would have cuts and bruises. And so I would feel it the next day. But I also liked it because I felt like I worked really hard and threw myself into the character. And I really did want to perform and be physical and be like the boys when I started and

I really wanted to do that. And then it also helped me kind of pour my nervous energy into the character because I was so nervous. So the physical aspect of it felt like a release. I got that. Yeah, yeah. And so how big... What was the evolution of that becoming a movie? You did it and then you did it and then it became a huge hit and it was exploding. And when you come out and you get applause, I mean, that feels great, right? That feels so good. I guess...

Especially because, well, it took a while to get on because I put it at the read-through and then Lorne liked it right away. He was like, let's wait and save it and we'll do it with Gabriel Byrne. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Yeah, so then Gabriel Byrne came. But then for the show order...

that week for the dress rehearsal, it was at the bottom. And I was like, why is this at the bottom? Which means it's probably going to get cut for the dress show. It was late in the show. It was late in the show. They think it's not going to make it. They think it's not going to make it. Yeah, they don't have a lot of time. And so I...

But that was kind of good because I thought, oh, I'm going to have to show them. And I think because I'd read it at the table, they weren't understanding how physical it was going to be. And because I'd done it in my show, that character in my show for so many years, I knew what it was. When I did it in my stage show, I would climb the walls and get up on the rafters and climb

They'd have to peel me down off the wall. And did you have the outfit? Sorry. Did you have the outfit in the stage show? No. In the stage show, I think I just wore a black skirt. She became a Catholic schoolgirl. Because it was a very funny look with the underwear and everything. Yeah, with the underwear. Bobby socks. Yeah. So go ahead. So then I thought, I'm really going to have to show them. So that was kind of good. So for the dress show, I went crazy. I really had to like...

Oh. Just checking. Oh, okay, great. Is it okay? Carry on, Molly. Okay, great. Carry on. Just short. Okay. Technical issue. So for the... Yeah, so for the... Air show. So for the dress show, I just really went crazy performing it and people went crazy. It got such a great response. Yeah.

And then I went into Lauren's office between dress and air to see what made it to the live show. And my sketch got moved from the bottom of the show to the top. Yeah, number one. And same thing happened with the church lady. Is that right, Dana? Something about these characters. Yeah. Did you have the smelly armpits and superstar on the first one? I did superstar as a joke. I threw it in for my friend because we used to always, my friend Deborah Palermo, as a joke, I used to always go superstar.

So I did it for her. I threw, I exited the stage as Mary Catherine Gallagher. Then I came back in and slid on chairs and just under my breath went, superstar, for my friend at home watching to make her laugh. So we just threw it in my exit, then we kept it in.

As like a refrain. And then it became, it's just like a great exclamation point. Yeah, exactly. Someone who just fell all over the place and owning it. Yes, exactly. And it's also... And so proud of it. Yeah, and it's a representation of my childhood of overcoming hard stuff and still having resilience and hope and maybe...

stumbling and falling and maybe looks like she's not going to make it and then they rise above the wreckage. It's a repeated dance of those themes. So you were able to, sometimes people ask me where things came from and all that and I try to come up with an answer and sometimes I'm not sure, but you were able for yourself to figure out at some point that that character was a manifestation of stuff that happened to you. Exactly. And it was like

It's self-care, basically. Yeah. I get to reenact this, but be superstar at the end. Exactly. That's so interesting. Yeah, it's like healing. Yeah. So before I was even in therapy, I would do the character on stage. And I remember a friend came once and they said, oh, that character, the schoolgirl, or was it a schoolgirl then? Mary Catherine Gallagher, she seems angry. I was like, angry, really? I didn't, I thought, oh, that's interesting. Yeah.

But because the original scene was just a girl auditioning to try to be in a David Lynch movie and we would just improvise it. And I'm like, no, no, you're not understanding. And I have to prove myself and get this person to, you know, like me and cast me. And so it's just a little exercise in trying to be seen and understood and

And so, yes, so that's where art can like save people. You know what I mean? That performance as a release. And does that make sense? So sometimes you can be in the, like, so in your work and being creative and not realize what it is you're trying to express and not be able to be objective about it till later. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think, you know, in a cartoon way, I think that's a really evolved way to think of things. And that character,

I did a lot of passive-aggressive characters because I had trouble expressing anger because I grew up with a lot of anger in the household. So you were just taught to suppress it. Yeah. So Hans and Franz, I don't know, you can't even look at me. Church lady, well, you're an unquaint no one, you're doing. So all my characters was kind of angry initially and passive-aggressive.

I guess that was healing. So let me ask you a question. So you felt, so in your house, but you said that your dad could be really aggressive and violent. Yeah, violent temper. But you had to, did you, how did you survive it? Well, I got on HLs. HLs. I'm going to disappear.

So we weren't like, I asked Sandler about that. And his family was just like, they could yell at each other nose to nose. I mean, want to get some ice cream? Okay. You know, healthy. Yeah. This was not that, but it was the sixties, five kids.

A lot of independence. See you later. You know, so, I mean, I survived. And what was your mom like? She was sort of very sweet, but very dainty and very much under his thumb. And she was the artsy one. Interesting. Yeah.

And you know, these big families, you know, we raise each other a lot. We scrambled. It was like, if there was a sugary cereal, get it now, you know, that kind of stuff. So, um, anyway, it's very interesting. It's always fascinating. Like David, he had an easy childhood, so it's still, he's so fucking funny, but with just a, Oh no. David, you were raised by your mom. Yes. I'll take this question from Molly. Yes. You were raised by your mom. Uh,

My mother, I was saying about Dana's mother, like it sounds like mine. She was very like creative and she was a writer and she loved artsy stuff and always wanted us to do anything like that that we thought was, my brother was more artistic, you know, anything, comedy, anything. She loved it. She loved writing. So she would always push that. But the dad wasn't around. I think you had sort of...

the reverse of that with your mom and you had a tough, I think it's funny because all these comedians, it just always sort of is the same type of story where it's just tough, you know? And a lot of people have tough growing up. I mean, that's, we're not alone. And they're not all comedians. Yeah. It's just, that's why we're not that special in that regard. But I did, I was lucky to have a mom that was very, you know, she had dealt some tough cards, but she tried her best. And,

The dad wasn't around, but I think the mom really tried to make up for it, you know. That's great. And she was great. She's still around, thank God, because that's a tough one. And I think that plays into everything, you know. Yeah. It only takes one. It's like, I think... You need something, yeah. If you have one good parent... I like the figure of sweets they say, having a champion. Yeah. And when I was reading your book this morning, your dad became your champion. Like, you can do anything. My mom was like that with all of her siblings, you know. That's...

So it was, we did, we were had about. With all her children or all her siblings? With all her, all of us kids. Oh, with all of you kids. That's so great. So she was supportive that way. Did she stay married to your dad? She did. She did. That's so interesting. Interesting. You know, 1940s, 1950s. I understand. It's that generation. You don't leave. Well, let me ask you this. So, so she, so did you feel like you had to be more like her?

No, I kind of took care of her. Yeah. You did? I was her surrogate husband. That's so interesting. That makes sense. I had that a little bit with my father, too. There's nothing to be embarrassed about with a... Oh, no. It's just normal codependency. How do you get attachment? How do you get love? And by behaving this way, you get it and you don't. I went to therapy, too. Maybe we went to the same therapist.

You are, I have to say, I don't know how much more time we have. We've never had a guest quite like you. You're so interested in us and we love it. You guys are so talented and I have to say it's so fun doing this show because I would rather hear you guys talk.

Yes. We would too. Seriously. We're listening to this particular episode wanting to hear about Molly Shannon. Well, I like talking about anything like that because I think that it helps so much. I like talking about it. Therapy helps so much. Yeah. How long did you go? A long time. Okay. I went five years, but maybe I'll go back. That's great. Because she's driving me nuts. Molly's got such an interesting disposition because you're always upbeat.

upbeat and you're such a good listener and even we don't have to talk about it but when we were at that norm thing the other day you're such a good articulate speaker and you speak from the heart about any subject and just when we're out and you meet

People, you're just very locked in. It's very hard. You don't see that a lot. You think you do, but you don't. And so it's very, and then your whole upbringing and just to this point in your comic, it's just, we're all so been to the ringer in a weird way. And it's funny because when you finally make it, you're like, what the fuck was that about? Was it worth it? But you're very, I just have to give you a compliment that when you're out,

And about, she's got such a good vibe about it. Everyone loves this. You must have a lot of friends. If you're a curious person, people like that. That's what I was going to say. But don't you think, like sometimes I think going through that tough stuff when you're little does give you that kind of command of an audience, that control. You have to have some kind of weird skill to be able to, you know, do what you guys do. Like,

get up and perform and know how to like hold a crowd. I mean, that's not an easy thing. How do you think your childhood gave you that ability to do, to have that special skill? Oh God, these are really good questions. It's maybe attention. I'm actually been recording. Yeah. I'm going to use it for my book. Dana. Dana. Wait,

Well, hello. Oh my God, it feels so good to laugh. One thing I will think though is I don't like, I feel like the healthier I become, I feel like I don't want to keep going toward those old patterns of going toward pain or this or that you're not good enough. It's like, oh my God, after a while, you know what I mean? When you have your health and this and that, be happy, right? It's like, oh my God, give me a break. It's a great thing. I have to ask you about the show where you, QVC, it's called I Love That For You.

I love that for you. And we talk to your lovely co-star. Sure, sure. Do you know we talk to your lovely co-star? You talk to Vanessa. She's so nice. I actually saw the first two episodes last night. I saw one. That's so sweet. I love when you do characters and then the character does a little character voice. Oh, no. It's so funny. That's such a specific thing only you could say. Oh, I love it. Just do a little bit because your character's like talking and then it's like whatever you do. Well, you're for the people at home. Yes.

I mean, in their car. This is on Showtime with Vanessa Bayer. Yes, I love that for you. Vanessa's such a doll. And Molly Shannon. I love that for you. It's a really quirky, cool, smart show. You say what it is. Oh, yeah. I play a host of a home shopping network. So perfect for you. And I'm like the queen salesperson. And I...

can sell stuff like this is the cutest little jar of sugar you see you know and Vanessa taught me how to do it but this is what these women do and they're very good at selling stuff funny to watch yeah but Vanessa grew up watching it so it's based on her childhood and Vanessa and I are both from Cleveland, Ohio and

Vanessa's another one who she seems almost like she could be a psychotherapist, not an actress. She's very calm in real life. Did you find that? Yeah, definitely. She's so grounded. I could see why you two would connect. Yeah, yeah. Molly, you saw one and she plays the QVC girl. And it is kind of funny for you because I like it because it's very calming to hear those people talk, like you said. And you're just so happy. I could just drone on and watch them for a while because...

They're very interested in what they're talking about. They're very interested in the audience. Yeah. And they're just talking to you and they don't fucking stop. And they showed Vanessa going through the audition process of that show. And it seems very hard, that show. It made me scared to be on QVC because you just got to run it. And then they have a graph showing when the sales go down. Yeah. You say something wrong and you go... And she accidentally...

something that acts like it smells kind of bad for a half a second. And then the sales fucking plummeted. Yeah. Just now, half a second. I have a friend who trained for a shampoo line and he said he was terrible. But they put you through training and there's a certain type of language they have to use. But he said if you talk about like mama or God, the ratings go up. My mama says, you know, this sugar is the best. Thank God for, you know, church on Sunday, you know, sales tick,

So there's just certain things. I wonder what we should say in this podcast to make our ratings go up. I know, you don't say anything. Hallelujah, David. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Praise. No, I don't want to say that. So anyway. I don't go for ratings. Yes, I do. No, I do. Molly. So Molly, how do you, how, so yeah. Do you like apples? Do you like apples? What's your favorite? Have you ever? I know you like half chickens. Can I ask you a question? Have you ever at a dinner?

Been to it like a group dinner and just there was like a little bit of a silence or a lull in the conversation. Just said something just to fill the air. David, you go first. That's all I do. That's a good one. That's all you do. I go, do you like apples? I go, I already asked you.

I go to, what's your net worth? That gets everyone going. Or have you ever encountered anything supernatural besides meeting me? And then people have ghost stories. And that, I did that with Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks and these people at this Shakespearean comedy thing we did. Wait, what's that? What is that? Tom Hanks.

Would have You would go on And you would do Shakespeare But you could do it Any way you wanted So I was just doing it As like Hey how you doing On Shakespeare You know It's a big charity event He does And this was 10 years ago So then Julia Roberts And all these actors And we're all around a table And it's a little bit Of like that small talk Well I think so You too And I go Have you guys ever seen A ghost or any Supernatural thing And then everyone Has a story Yeah So Molly Shannon That's great I ask you Yeah do you Yes Okay

Have you encountered...

A UFO or a ghost? Something you couldn't explain that kind of freaked you out. I lived in this apartment in Hollywood that Nan Ray used to live in. I like your question, Dana. And when I was a struggling actress with my roommate Brian Donovan and it had cathedral ceilings and it was across an El Pollo Loco on the corner of Fountain and Vine. And I had just like a loft. I love that. That's scary over there. Yeah, a little scary. I love that El Pollo Loco. Old Hollywood. Franklin Hotel or something. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bit sketch though. And my

We lived there together. And I remember we had a party and this guy, this guy who was at the party was like, them's ghosts in here. And I said, really? Where was he from? He was from Arkansas. Does that scare you though about ghosts? That would scare me. No, because I didn't really believe. But I would have dreams at night. I don't know if it was sleep paralysis, but I would have a dream where I was being held down in only, only in that apartment. Yeah.

What? Have you ever had that dinner? I've had it at San Ysidro Ranch, which I made my wife. We left the hotel in the middle of the night. Why? Because I had it twice. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? But that's a push down, like a feeling? It's from nightmares. The feeling of a horse lying down on you. Ooh.

Whoa. And then I had the house we have up in Northern California. It's from 1909. Yeah. And where my son's bedroom was, which he moved in with his brother when I slept in there a couple times. I had it in there. Also, a white noise I had in there, too. Interesting. Why is everyone sleeping? One hour's all right. Why?

What the, where's that coming from? Yeah, only those two things. Your brain's on a frenzy. But I'm not afraid of anything anymore, really, at this age. That's so good. But what happened? So, you said ghost, did you meet the ghost? Yeah, that's all, no, but I would just feel like I was being held down or I would feel like there was somebody at the edge of the bed holding my feet down and then I would wake up, but it was only in

that apartment when I left it never happened again isn't that weird we gotta call we gotta get Dan Aykroyd on this podcast he loves this stuff he's into it wow that's so cool he would really be fascinated by that oh my gosh but you know what I would be scared shitless

Yeah, I was a little scared. When I hear any noises, I'm scared. And I had another scary thing at that apartment, too, where there was in my bedroom a peeping Tom in the alley like I saw a head while I was changing. And I was like, peeping Tom. And so then I ran out to the front and called the security guard. I was like, eh.

And he came into the door, and I almost have to get up and demonstrate, but I don't want to go away from the microphone. Walked in, and he came in, what, what, what? And then while he was in the door, he got in, and then he slammed the door shut with his foot, and it was within seconds that I realized, oh, no, that was him. And now I just let him into my apartment. Oh, wow. Isn't that scary? He was like, yes, I'm going to demonstrate. He was like, what, what, what? Molly's standing up. And crying.

And closed the door. He's kicking her foot back. Scary? Wow. And now you lock...

They get him in the room with you. Then he was in the room with him. But I did quickly get him out because my, I just was like, oh my God. Did you figure it out? There's a killer in the alley. And you realize he's the killer in the alley. Hell, I didn't see anything anymore. You can go now. Yeah, I was like. You think there's a killer in the alley. Here's what you should have done, Molly. He should have closed the door while you were behind him. And he should have gone, he's not in the alley anymore. And then he goes, he's in your room and turned to you.

And then you would have gone, oh my God. Oh my God. Did you ever see that movie when a stranger calls? Calls come from inside the house? Yes. Don't do that to me. I can't. They live alone in a 19,000 square foot house. With no security. Are you David? Well, I definitely haven't seen any scary movies. I would not see it. You wouldn't see our horror film in this place. I didn't see any of the biggies. No. No. Why am I inviting? I have enough nightmares. I want to add. I want to add. No. No. Exactly. Too stressful. There's no more room.

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That's $50 off with CodeFly at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. All right, Molly, let's get Molly out of here. Molly Shannon. We have one final question. Yes. She's the greatest guest ever. What did you eat for breakfast? Dana first. Jesus. Dana first. Dana first. The same thing I have every day, Molly.

I had one egg and one egg white. What a pig. I had some avocado I sliced up. Yum. I had a half piece of sourdough toast. You're gay. You're gay. You're gay. That's the name of the episode. So avocado toast and those two things. And then my wife made a thing she calls a green drink, a little bit of pear and spinach and

And stuff like that. That sounds... What did you have? That sounds exactly like when at breakfast, I had a Gelson's half a chicken. No, I just had a smoothie. I had a banana almond milk smoothie right before I came.

David, what did you have? You know, the big story is when you said that about Gelson's, when I moved out here to stay with the Funny Boys to do stand-up, I had no money. Yeah. And I just had change. Yeah. And he goes, you can keep the, there's change up on the counter if you want it. So I felt so embarrassed. But when I went to do stuff, I would scrape the change and I went to Ralph's on Fountain Way down there.

Yeah. It was Ralph's or something. And then I went and I got the rotisserie chicken and the thing, same thing. And just took it. Because this is a lot of food for the brush. I was like Cujo, I ate it. And they come home, I go, oh, Cujo. Christ. It's like Cujo over here. I really went at it because I hadn't eaten all day. Yeah. And then I know if I get a spot at the improv, you get a free pineapple chicken where it's like a little breast with a pineapple circle on top.

Woofed. Yeah. Because that was it. You don't know when the next one is. And so, but this morning, eggs. Oh, eggs. Eggs, scram. And the only interesting thing, I've well done bacon. That's not that interesting. And then I have a little plain oatmeal. Bacon, what's your plain oatmeal, sir? A little plain oatmeal. No bread. No bread.

Yes. Don't want it. I try not to eat too much wheat now. God, we're so old. It's horrible. Sourdough, it's the most benign. Come on, it's Joe Biden, it's sourdough. Okay. It's inflation. I'm doing Biden. It's inflation. It's inflation. It's the Pirates of the Caribbean.

Is it a joke or is it no joke? It's no joke. It's no joke. Oh, I'm not getting around here. Biden's always saying stupid shit. Molly, final question. Yes. Oh, we're getting the last one on her. The decks are clear. The kids are great. Everything. What's a Molly super day? Like your mental health day.

This is Molly's day off. Okay, I like that question. I definitely like to exercise because it relaxes me. You go for a hike? Run. Run? You run? Yeah, I run. That's great. I ran this morning because it calms me down. That's great. I just can't do it anymore. I hike, though. Well, hiking is so good. It has to go up a hill, though. That's amazing. So you start out with a run. Running, and I would listen to a good podcast or a good interview.

or the daily or NPR or books on tape. So I'll do that while I'm running. Oh, okay. And then I also like swimming. So a good day would be to swim for one hour. Wow. Yes. You're my hero. That's what I want to do. It makes me feel so happy. I've been starting to...

To attempt to do it, because they have a little pool at this one house we have. Oh, that's so nice. So where do you swim? We have a pool in our backyard. So it's like 40 feet or 30 feet, 40 feet? I'm not sure. Yeah, maybe. So you go back and forth. Are you switching strokes? You wear gondolas? I just do the breaststroke the whole time, and I also listen to interviews when I'm swimming. Do you get your hair wet? So how do you do that? I just have a speaker. I don't have the ear pods, but I just have a speaker, so I'm really like...

- Oh, you're kind of like this and it's on the side of the pool. - Exactly. - So you come out, what gets you more just zen down, the run or the swim? Or is it just the two together? - That's a really good question. I would say, what do you think?

I'm just coming on to the idea of swimming. So I feel like, especially if it's deprivation where you have earplugs and it's like people come out of the pool like, whoa. In my olden times, my other times, I think hard cardiovascular breaking a sweat. But basically, let's put it this way. Your perfect day is 10 a.m. and you're basically blasted in a good way.

Exactly. After your run and your hour swim feels good. After my run, so relaxed. So you're just like this. And now what do you do? Exactly. Then I guess if it's like a perfect day too, I might go to a steam, get a nice steam or sauna. And it makes me so relaxed. So now you're super relaxed. Well, you're asking me like a really fun day. This is like- No, I love this. This is your dream day. This would be while my kids are in school if I have a little bit of free time. Yeah, the decks are cleared. Then I would maybe, I mean, if it's a dream day, maybe I would-

I mean, I haven't done this for a while, but I would love to go to a pretty park in nature and sit and do creative visualization. If you're asking for a dream day. Like a meditative visualization. Yeah, meditative kind of writing. Some writing. Because we know some part of these things you do all the time, but now it's loaded into one day. Yeah, loaded into one day. But then, let's see. Did you go out to dinner with your husband? Oh, my God. Well, that's later. Say after I pick up the kids. Later, yeah.

My husband likes to stay in and cook. I love that about him. I love going out for dinner with friends, but he likes to cook, cook dinner and stay in. And of course, my ideal, my favorite thing is just spending time with my children. So they're 17 and 18 and I'm going to pick my son up today at school and my daughter and I are going to get acupuncture today. So I like stuff like that. Stuff that makes your body

body feel good. Everything to make you feel better. Do you watch movies? Do you watch dramas? Yes, I just finished watching the Dropout Mike Showalter show with Amanda Seyfried. I loved it. That was so good. And my husband and I love documentaries. We're watching Love on the Spectrum right now on Netflix. Oh, Rosie's watching that. We're getting some high fives in the room. Love on the Spectrum. Just watched Pam and Tommy.

Did you watch? It was so funny. Tommy's sons bought my old house in Encino. Really? That's so cool. Yeah.

They're in my recording studio and in my pool. Oh, my God. But I'm happy for them. Go ahead. Yeah, but no, yeah, my husband and I love documentaries. That's our favorite. Yeah. So watching TV with your husband, hanging with your kids. Hanging with my kids. Sauna, jacuzzi, meditation, be at a park, relaxing. Yeah. Steam. Yes. Okay, I love that answer. Yeah, exactly. I'm relaxed just hearing that. Oh, good. And just hanging out in the house is so fun with my kids. There's nothing that makes me happier. Yeah.

than just having a free day where you could just stay in your house and do whatever you want. I love that. Yeah, I love being a dad. I love hanging out with my kids. It's the greatest. Yeah, me too. Well, Molly Shannon is her Tell Me Your Book. It's called Hello, Molly. Yes. A great title. Yeah. Because it's that you can never forget it. I love Molly. Don't you think? It's just so clean. It's not like my journey to the thing. What was the name of your book, David? It wasn't very good. It's stupid. It's not Hello, Molly. I'll tell you that. It was...

harder to deal with. What was it called? I think it was called, oh, one of them was called, this is a good one, A Polaroid Guy in a Snapchat World. That's a good one. A Polaroid Guy in a Snapchat World. Well, it's a cool name. Because I talk about how the difference is when I grew up and now it is now, everything's different. I like that title so much. I like it, but Hello Molly's so clean and simple. No, Hello Molly's boom. And it's off the title. You can sing it, that's what's good. And you're also, I love that, free

Hello, Molly. She's won awards. You've worked consistently ever since you left SNL. It seems like you're always doing stuff with Will and they're hiring you for this and that. Now you're in this show. Life is good. Yeah. You're healthy. You can run. Aw.

That's cool. You can swim, we learned. Yes. Breaststroke only. Well, you do or you don't get your hair wet. That's what we other people want to know. If I have a, I know, I like that, that you're asking, David. If it's a nice blowout, I would probably toss it up because I wouldn't want to ruin it, I'm sure. And then you're going above the water. Yeah, yeah.

and just a very meditative back and forth. Yes, with some good reading material. Maybe I would listen to a New Yorker article on Autumn, the app. I do love that about modern digital technology. Isn't it the best? Just you're driving and you can listen to World War II books and like so...

Hitler decided it was too late. You know what I mean? I just can't get enough of that stuff. Is that right, Dana? Oh, I love documentaries too. I kind of like everything. If wife wants to watch The Crown, I love The Crown. And I like 2001. I see that every year when she's not around, you know? So I like all of it. But I mostly like dramas and movies.

adventures and stuff. Yeah, exactly. Did you see the original Staircase documentary? It's on Netflix now. That's excellent. About the guy who maybe pushed his wife down the stairs? Yes. Yes. That's a good one. You know what? Those things, if you want to look for dysfunction, cow sills.

about a 60s pop band, family band. It's about their dysfunctional family. Very reminiscent of mine in some ways, but it's also their fame and their trajectory. The Cow Cells, I think it's called, on Netflix. Oh, that sounds good. Yeah, on Ted Sarandos' podcast.

Yeah, wow. So I also support Netflix on this podcast. Or my special on Netflix. Hi, Ted. Call us. All right, bye, guys. Nice to meet you. Okay, good. Yay. Yeah, we did it. Yay. You guys, thank you so much. We did it. You guys are good. Well, you're amazing. This is so good.

Hey, what's up, flies? What's up, fleas? What's up, people that listen? We want to hear from you and your dumb questions. Questions, ask us anything. Anything you want. You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com. Okay, from Akur Emyl Khyber. What do you think of that name? Akur Emyl Khyber.

It's a long one. Okay. Hello, Mr. and Mr. Funny Dudes. It's a funny way to think of us. That could have been the name of our podcast. Mr. and Mr. Funny Dudes? Ish. I've been a big fan of both of you since the 1930s. That's cruel. No, 90s. Even though I didn't know what SNL was back then. I'm an Icelandic. Okay. I get to the real, an Icelandic. Okay. I like that place.

I am also a fan of Chris Farley, and I still remember where I was when I heard the news of his passing. Okay. My question is, how do you think Farley's career would have panned out if he would have lived? Would he have had a podcast? Would he be doing serious movies like Adam Sandler or even collecting Oscars like Tom Hanks? Hope this email finds you swell. And with that, I'm going to get fucking warm. I have a stove in my igloo. No, sorry. Go ahead.

I don't think they live in England. It's freezing out there. If your country starts with the name ice, get a fucking polar tech or something. I think Greenland's full of ice and Iceland's green. That's what I heard. Yeah. So... I knew someone was from... But here's your real answer. Freezing land. What is your answer? Here's your answer. You knew Chris better than I did, but I think...

He, I developed a movie called Beverly Hills Ninja. You couldn't do it today. For a year, I was going to be the Beverly Hills Ninja. Shut up, I didn't know that. Yeah. I had read-throughs and everything. Really? Yeah. But that fell through and then Chris did Beverly Hills Ninja. Yeah. And he was hysterical in it. So, that was just a fun fact. Just, you know, I also turned down Tommy Boy.

No, I didn't. It's very likely, though. They wanted Dana for everything. I think Chris was a one-off as far as his brilliant physical comedy and his, you know, sneakily very smart guy, obviously. He's a smart guy. Yeah, he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew what he was doing. And I think...

His podcasts were down the line, but I think he would have done those big, by the way, those big comedies we all used to try to do are not as prevalent these days. They're very tough to get going. So he would have just adapted like Madonna over the years. He would have always been funny. He probably would have had to stop drinking and then he would have just been. Would he have gotten butt implants then if he's. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I think he would have looked like a Kardashian at this point.

He would have fallen for that whole thing. Yeah, I don't know about that. I mean, they all have in...

In their asses, right? I mean, that's not natural. They always would say, we don't have butt implants. You can take an x-ray. They don't say that. They don't mention. They're like, ish, ish, ish. They're putting like 30 gallons of butt juice in there. It's like blowing up a tire when you're a kid. It's like loading a Pelican. Ish, ish. Those last couple of ish. But we love the Kardashians. Yeah. But as I call them, the Kardashians. You know that Kris Jenner is managing all these people and she's a brilliant businesswoman, you know?

She sits around a table, you know? She would be managing Farley, you're right. Chloe, I need an ass pic like yesterday. High heels, panties from behind. If I see another Mickey and Minaj ass pic, I'm going to go nuts. Kim, let's see some black and whites by Friday.

And Courtney, take a picture with the guy. Have one more wedding. We got to do a clean sweep, make it an even 12th. Caitlin, we got to take you back. But I don't want to go back. We're going to put you on this rowboat and push you out. We froze the dick. Kanye's the surgeon. But I don't want to go back. It's a billion dollar piece of business. Now listen, bitch.

You're becoming a man again. So I guess Chris would just be doing movies, TV shows. Johnny Job got his life going. He would be the third. Greg Holtzman's laughing very hard. One in this podcast. Now, we would have done maybe more movies. There was a movie called The Tree we liked. The main thing I would take away from this question from Iceland is just we all miss Chris. And he was just a lovely gentleman and...

I remember just saying to my wife, we were living in Upper West Side and Chris got there. He got to meet Chris Farley, so sweet, you know. And he did have the Midwestern. He was, you know, had that Minnesota nice. He was from Wisconsin, right? Don't mess with the lady. Well, he always called me the lady. Never, never, never didn't call me the lady. Him and Chris Rock, I don't know what that was about. Even Chris today. Hey, lady. It's the lady. And both were Chris's.

Chris Rock, Chris Farley only called me the lady. For the church lady. Sounds like the beginning of a... Thank you for your question and thank you for Iceland. And please send us a couple pictures so we know and I can educate Dana. The thing I love about Iceland, I'm not a good flyer going into Europe and I go, okay, eastern seaboard, okay, Greenland, we could bail out. And then it's like, Atlantic, cold, icy Atlantic. I go, we could always bail out in Iceland. Round up for you, Chris. Three cheers for Iceland. Iceland, Iceland, Iceland. Beep, bop, boop.

All right, I guess that's it. Thank you for your questions. Keep them coming. We'll keep the answers long. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. Production and engineering led by Greg Holtzman, Richard Cook, Serena Regan, and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.