Patton Oswalt
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So the time you spend driving, it is the best time of your day. Visit Polestar.com to book a test drive today. David, for lunch today. It's almost lunchtime, yeah. Do you have any... What are you going to do? What do you do? You know, sometimes I really just want to have fun. I would get like...

A really good turkey sandwich with avocado. Or if I really want a guilty. I was going to say the same thing. Really? Turkey. I just had it yesterday. And maybe a few baked chips. And then you'd want an ice cold Pepsi, which I don't. What I like to do with Pepsi is I fill the whole glass to the brim with ice. And then I slowly pour the Pepsi in and I make what I call a super Pepsi.

Yeah. Because the cold is great. That's a super Pepsi? It's not that super, but yeah. Well, I think if I say it's super, then it's kind of, it's closer to super. Well, in your head it's super. Because it's great. It's a super Pepsi. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Pepsi's been around our whole lives. It's not a regular situation. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I was flying this week and Pepsi on the plane, all Pepsi products.

A casino I just played, every restaurant and everything. You throw one in with lunch, dinner, and get a little caffeine going. You get the fizzy bubbles, and it's fun. And, you know, you share it with people. An Austrian friend of mine once said to me, quote, and you know what enhances those flavors and really makes them pop? It's an ice cold Pepsi.

I said, thank you, Austrian. So he gives it a pop. Yeah, he gives you a pop with the Pepsi pop. It's better than a regular pop.

Get a fizzy Pepsi in you and a pepperoni piece of pizza. You know, I've done that so many times. Well, yeah, I would say pizza and a Pepsi. They sound alike. They go together. You will lose your mind with pizza and Pepsi every time. Grab a Pepsi zero sugar for your next meal as food deserves Pepsi. Dana, Patton Oswalt is on the show today.

Patton Oswalt, he is a dandy. This guy has been in our living rooms for decades. Great stand-up. Has a new game show we talk about. What was really fun for me is he is a movie buff guy.

And I watched The Killers, the Stanley Kubrick film, 1958. So he was so excited to talk about that. And of course, Planet of the Apes fanatic. So all that is really a fun part of this. And then also he came through the whole San Francisco comedy club scene. I had left a little bit before he arrived, but he talks about

How he became Patton Oswalt, how he became a great stand-up from all of his travails in that arena. Super easygoing guy, easy to laugh, had a nice time chatting with him. And yeah, we got in all that stuff. You and I jumped in on some of those movies that I knew.

And we did break down the idea that sometimes Wikipedia pages are inaccurate. That's true. We do go into that for a while. I usually try to find something on Wikipedia that they don't think is there. And I'm like, this can't be real. And then it usually is not real. And they're like, where did you get that? I'm like, it says it. Yeah. I've had some funny stuff on my Wikipedia page. We talk about that. And so he was just a really fun guy.

easy person to hang out with for an hour. All right, here he is. Patton Oswalt. Also, are there any other Pattons really? I mean, there was a famous actor named Patton, right? Not you, but someone. Well, there's, there's a Paul Patton and then there's a, Oh yeah. Last name though. Yeah. And then who's that other great, great actor, Will Patton, but there's no, there's no first name Patton.

And you're named after General Patton, which is pretty cool. Dad was a Marine, had high hopes. I thought you were named after Paula Patton. He was also, he is weird. He actually predicted her becoming a star. Three years before she, yeah, he was like, I feel like there's going to be this actress Paula Patton. Paula's great. I did a movie with Paula. She played my love interest, Shocker of the Century. God, you're always the boyfriend. Wow.

And guess what? It was, she was a bit resistant to that. I think she was, maybe we won't go first or maybe she's got, but I'm sure she's reading the script and it was a Sandler movie. And I'm sure she's like, Oh, I guess I could.

make out with Sandler and then there's a little bit of a mix up because when you read, actually this is true when you read the script. I'm the lead and Adam is the second lead. So I read it thinking I was the second part. Adam goes, no, you're the other part. And I go, that's the lead. And so Paul is probably reading it going, oh my God, it's horrible. Was that where Sandler's a military assassin badass and you're kind of the nerd? Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was good. Yeah. Yeah.

No, not Zohan. It was one of the Netflix ones. It's all right. Wasn't he also like an elite assassin? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's always an elite something. Elite something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Have you ever gotten to play a badass in a movie? Oh,

Oh, no, no. I'm always the guy. Me neither. So I'm in a lot of badass movies, but I'm the guy either building the equipment or telling the badass like, hey, be careful with this equipment.

Yeah, I'm handing equipment over to people like I'm giving Ryan Reynolds or Wesley Snipes a piece of vampire killing equipment or something like that. I just sharpened the steak, sir. It's ready to go. Yeah. Have you ever thrown a punch in a movie?

No, I listen. Here's where to the sound effect. I've never thrown a punch, but I was on Conan a few years ago and they put together a real. I apparently get my ass kicked a lot in movies and TV shows. So there's a whole thing from Magnolia and Justified and Burn Note where I'm just getting either killed or horribly beaten up or tortured. So you were in Magnolia? Yes. Yes.

Because that's kind of a work of art as a movie. I mean, it's brilliant, right? It's brilliant, but anyone who works with Paul Timers-Henderson will tell you, they don't give you the whole script. They send you your pages. Oh, so ballsy. So ballsy. So all I had was...

I'm beaten up in a casino. And then I'm suddenly I'm in a green wetsuit and I'm hanging in this tree in the valley and they're dumping Arrowhead waters over my head to keep me from passing out because it was so hot. And I said, Paul, what the fuck is going on? What is this?

And he just said, I'll just put it this way. You're the first frog that falls out of the sky and it'll make sense to you when you see the movie. No, it won't. You'll be even more confused when it happens. Go watch Magnolia. So Tom, Tom Cruise got the sides and it just said, respect the cock. And he didn't even know the context of that. I think he, well, I feel like maybe Tom Cruise's people were able to go, can we see the whole script? Yeah.

Few extra pages. Yeah. But when you're at Patton Oswalt, they're like, here's your page. We'll see you in Reno in two weeks. Would David just get stage direction? You just get stage direction. You don't even get dialogue. Grownups that just said, you have shorts on. I said, all right, well, I'll do it. Okay.

I can hang on. I can use shorts. Perfect. I mean, exactly. That's great. Can they be pleated? Let me talk to Adam. We'll get back to you. Oh, you mean those little miniature, miniature script pages that people have in their pocket? Mini size. Mini size. Hell yeah. Bringing out the mini size. Sometimes I'll look in, in a movies. I'll look in the pant legs and see if I can spot either mini size or, or, or cell phones. You always look for the little mini size folded up.

Oh, yeah. You look at Game of Thrones and you see a 7-Eleven cup and some mini sides and you're like, oh, wait, when was this shot? I thought it was 1440. They had blackberries then. Didn't they literally have to go in and do like CJ to get rid of a Starbucks cup in an episode of Game of Thrones near the end? Because it was apparently so chaotic at the end that they just couldn't, you know. Shit, I heard some guy, Kit,

maybe it was the car from Knight Rider, but someone named Kit was saying that, uh, that it was so hard at Game of Thrones. They go, people didn't like the ending, but you know what? We just wanted to get out of there. It was too much like freezing and all the things you don't even think about. You're wearing 48 pounds of armor. Every scene in a pelt of a goddamn walrus. You're like guys. Yeah. Well, it's always interesting when you talk to crew members about what are good movies and they're like, like,

Like, yeah. Oh my God. You did crew on there will be blood. Like that sucked. It was just like dust and wind. And you're like, oh yeah. You also did Alvin and the chipmunks too. That was a great movie. We were on a cruise ship. It was a buffet. Like their perspective on filmmaking is so different than ours. We're going for art. They're like, no, I will happily do. Are you kidding? Grownups for your greatest movie ever made. It was so much fun.

Shit, yeah. The crew has a good time too because they sit in trucks. Most crews sit in trucks. I mean, you have to have someone for everything if you're listening. So if you say, Adam goes, we need a bow and arrow

Where's call props. Then props runs up and goes, we have a bow and arrow. And he's like, ah, let me check the truck, which means no. Yeah. And then they have to send someone to go get one, but you know, it's just, you, you don't want to waste time. So everything's there in case of whatever. Yeah. They go through the script and they try to imagine every possible thing that might get riffed on the day. Oh, he might want this. Let's have it. Well, comedies are horrible. Like I'm sure on PTAs movies, uh,

It's very precise, but with movies that are comedies, you know you're ad-libbing and there's some things where they go, hey, you come out of here. Like I came out of a closet in one of the grown-ups movies. Mm-hmm.

from a hangover and they go, Oh, what if you had one of the sweaters on from one of the women? Cause you're just drunk. Okay. Then that did turn into, what if you have a bow and arrow? What if you have a hat on? What if you have a catcher's mask on? And then they just went into props and go, what's the funniest shit that would be in a closet that I could be wearing all of it.

And then we came up with like eight things. And the last one was I take the coat off and I've got one of those breast pump things on that the wife had earlier. So I'm like, there we go. Finally. Did it jump the shark at any point or was it just funnier? It actually got funny because we took half a day to go through each one and go, which one is the funny one? Which one's the last one?

And then the dog came out after me and I was like, oh, there you go. And they said something like always with a blonde because the dog was like a golden retriever. I mean, you can't make it funnier, Patton. I just imagine the prop people walking in the truck going, the comedians are riffing again. That's what I'm saying. It's ripping on movies. Here we go. Oh, God. David Spade has some ideas. Yeah. Oh, good. Make some coffee. We're going to be here late. Oh, he's brainstorming.

Triple overtime. So in time, he's not one on the call sheet. We don't need to hear his ideas. What was that story that Michael Keaton told when his little son was in like kindergarten and they did like career day, like what do your parents do? And Michael Keaton was kind of pumped up like, because his son had visited him on sets, thinking, oh, he's going to, my dad's a movie star. And then when they got to his son, my dad lives in a trailer.

He just said that's what he thought his dad did for a living. He went and sat in a trailer all day. That's true. He never saw him actually on the snow. And he acts nine minutes a day. Yeah, he visited him in a trailer. I mean, Batman, those movies are like, they say they shoot a quarter page a day, so...

It's mostly stunts. And then you got to be on some wires and screen. I complain because I'm not in them. I imagine you're bolted into that costume. Like they're apparently in on the, the, the Christian Bale ones, like he has to like lean against the wall.

Like, you know, like when you do a period thing and the dresses between shots, they have the women like lean because they don't want to. You can't sit down. They don't want you to mess with the dress. That's how it is with a bat. He kind of leans on this plank against the wall to keep the costume. Okay.

Do the agents and managers come and visit him? Does his team come and visit him? It's their way of going, you're literally a prop. We are leaning you against the wall in between these shots. I know, it's always just your eyes in those things. You're like, hey, that's Ben Affleck. No, it's George Clooney. Well, either way, get stuffed in this thing and then jump around. By the way, how happy is Robert Downey Jr.?

But Iron Man and Doctor Doom, they're going to have close-ups of his face that he'll shoot in some studio, and the rest is a stuntman in a suit. It's the best job ever. I was thinking of that during the movie. And isn't it $62 million? Or no, for the two movies? It's insane. It's something that he doesn't need. It's also, what was it? Deadpool. Deadpool has that costume on, which it took me three movies to go, wait, when is it him? When is a guy gesticulating in scenes in a two-shot, and Ryan just...

you know, voiceovers all seen. I don't know. Well, it's very smart on his part. He has a business empire. I mean, he's doing so many things. He only does two days on Deadpool. The rest is the side of 300. And then counts this moolah. There you go. Blue Nile.

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It was Lord of the Flies in a building. It was called Straight Incorporated. This is the story of Straight Incorporated, an experimental drug rehab for teenagers that infiltrated communities across the country in the 1980s during the height of the war on drugs. We're kidnapping, brainwashing, and torture. We're disguised as therapy.

It's the origin story of the troubled teen industry, which continues to profit from the desperation of parents and the vulnerability of their children. And its roots can be traced back to a cult called Synanon. How do I know this? Because I lived through it. My name is Cindy Ettler, and this is Season 2 of The Sunshine Place.

Listen to and follow The Sunshine Place, an Odyssey original podcast in association with Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey. Available now on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. So, Pat, one thing I find interesting about you and comedians in general, stand-ups, you're on the road, and what is there to do? So you try to see a movie. Yes.

And your thing, you wrote a book about it. You're like downtown. But I saw a lot, a lot of movies because that's how you feel that day. Yes. And I did see a list. I don't know if it was legit, but it was you were online going top worst sci-fi movies and top best. Yes.

Well, I'm sure it was just off the top of your head. There's something missing here. Yeah. Well, it was also that thing. My, my work, because I've been in enough movies now to know that even the quote unquote worst movies, people broke their back making those things like they really worked hard. Right. So to me, a bad science fiction movie is one that has a great premise and they don't run with it. Like they just kind of, you know, or they don't have any fun with it. So, right. Um,

Weirdly enough, a movie like Deep Blue Sea is on my top five worst thing, even though I say it is the most insanely entertaining bad science fiction movie. The whole premise is nuts where they're trying to cure Alzheimer's and they need to operate on these sharks. But the side effect is the sharks become super intelligent. So you're like, wait a minute. So to help...

grandma so stop grandma pooping in her pants the sea is now filled with genius level unstoppable killing machine i love it that's kind of brilliant feels like a michael bay that pitch sold in about eight seconds in hollywood exactly yeah so i love that kind of that kind of thinking that also they they could have gone so far where the sharks have to do the operations because they're the smartest ones now

That, oh my God, that would have been brilliant if the sharks become so intelligent that they start experimenting on us. That would have been a genuinely brilliant bonkers twist. Because you don't see it coming. You're like, oh my God, shark's like scalpel and his little fin. Deep blue sea again. Yeah, it's not too late. Do it again. Good cast. I'm looking it up. Saffron Burrows, love. Sam Jackson comes with any project. Yeah.

Thomas Jane, LL Cool J, Stellan Skarsgård. Stellan Skarsgård, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. I like to buy an S. I just want to bet. Sam Jackson has a scene. It has one of the best scenes in a movie. I don't know. Have you guys seen Deep Blue Sea?

No. Okay. David knows what I'm talking about. I don't want to spoil the surprise for you, Dana. I will say when the thing happens, I saw it at the Cinerama Dome and the audience gave it a standing applause. They were so happy. It was a genuine, I did not see this coming. Yes. Thank you. This is fantastic. Should you tell Dana? I don't know. Maybe. All right.

I don't think it would hurt me. Pause it for a second if you don't want to hear this. I kind of have a sense of what the speech might be. Well, in the middle of the movie,

Sam, they're like, the situation is dire. They got to get themselves off this lab. And Sam Jackson, and this is right after Pulp Fiction, and he starts one of his Sam Jackson speeches where he's talking about, if you think water is bad, try ice. I was trapped on a map. And it is this build, and then a shark comes out of the water and just bites him in half, like in the middle of Sam Jackson. It is horrible.

It is so goddamn perfect. And you know that when Sam Jackson read that, when they gave him the strip, he was laughing his ass off and went, there's no way I'm not doing this. This is going to be fantastic. No one saw it coming. Killed. Once in a while it occurs to me that I think Samuel L. Jackson may be the American movie star in the last 30 years.

Only because of all the different quadrants he occupies. Go ahead. Well, also because he's just one of those guys that when he's on screen, what do you do with everyone else? He's just it's just the you're completely drawn to him. It's ridiculous. Just get out of the way. Except Travolta was pretty good with a weird haircut. Pulp fiction as far as holding his own.

Yes. Yeah, they call it, what do they call a Big Mac in Paris? What was that one? A little Mac. A Royale with cheese. Well, Travolta was also smart enough to go, this guy is on fire. I'm just going to lean back and just comment on his stuff rather than try to overdo him. If I just kind of hang back and go, uh-huh, like that will give me that kind of focus. Travolta had that gear, you know, when he's dancing with Uma Thurman.

The minimalism he's doing with it is so charismatic. Versus Saturday Fever. It's the smallest dance ever. He's barely moving, but it's just like electric. He probably said, I did Grease. I did Saturday Fever where I was just huge dancing and I can't do it again. I'm going to go small. Plus he was, that was a comeback movie, right? So he's probably saying, I don't want to steal focus. I don't want to,

I mean, a lot going on for Travolta in that movie. Here's the weird thing about when they call Pulp Fiction a comeback movie for Travolta. It was a comeback, I guess, in terms of getting to do really good movies. But people forget when he did Saturday Night Fever, he took a cut of the soundtrack

track when he did grease yeah he took a cut of the soundtrack that guy was not in any need of a comeback fight he was fine you know so it was just like oh i mean this movie being in it apparently tarantino had seen blow out which when trulta made it he had really bad insomnia which is when you watch it he's kind of like haunted and foggy and weird and that's where tarantino was like that's the performance i want i want that character

And he did look who's talking, you know, Tarantino. Yeah. So he was still out there. But the thing was, is Tarantino has this knack for for the casting. That's that's amazing. And he was going around town with Travolta. And he said it was like being with Elvis or the Beatles. This was he'd already wanted him that way. It was so big.

That a three, four year gap where maybe he wasn't out there as much. He actually came to visit Saturday Night Live just to see what it was like to be a host. He was just hung out for a week. And he talked about, you know, you get your mansion, forgive the impression, you get your mansion in Maine, where it's not so expensive. You fly your plane in there. He was so set to your point. Complete businessman. To get a piece of Greece, right?

The publishing rights on that. Yeah. Two of the biggest soundtracks in history. And you can't ever be that level of fame. You can't. Two in a row and then he was always famous, but he probably wanted to get another big movie. But Pulp Fiction was a great one. Could I play a game with Patton? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Two best science fiction movies of the 60s. I'll pick two. Two best science fiction movies of the 70s. David picks the winner. I'm too young for this game, but go ahead. I'll play along.

David is a dewey ingenue. Why are we making him do our old man cinema game? I will just tell you which ones I've heard of. It's for our audience. No, I'll be curious. I have a sleeper one that you may not think of. Okay. So from the 60s?

The 60s. Two best from the 60s versus two best from the 70s. I just made this up, by the way. No, that's two best from the 60s. I'll go with Planet of the Apes. Whoa. Yeah. And which really has aged well and is kind of brilliant. And-

And this is so, it's such an easy pick, but it's such a good movie. Um, 2001, a space odyssey is so frigging brilliant. Um, this is something you might appreciate when they reissued it at the arc light. There's it's gone. Now I saw it five times over a period of six weeks. And the final time it was only one guy down below in the dome. And me, it was like a private showing. I got possessed by it. Um,

Yeah. And that's where it literally it's the the center of the screen, like bent it a little bit. It was. Yeah. It's ridiculous. It's a meditation. It's so brilliant. It's I don't even know how Kubrick does it. I want to ask you a quick question because I just love movies. Why is it?

that I'll see the modern, you know, Planet of the Apes sequels versus King Kong, whatever, with CGI, and they're perfectly okay. What is it about the magic of Planet of the Apes? Why, even though it was prosthetic makeup...

I mean, I have my own ideas. Why does it hold up so brilliantly? I mean, and I have my ideas, but I think you would have the same. Because of what you just said, you know, the limitations they had in terms of technology and makeup and they still pulled it off and still very real. Some of the, yeah. And some of the shots, that shot of Charlton Heston running and then they, he almost hit the camera and then they zip over and rack focus to the gorilla on the, um,

horse. Yeah. Yeah. The big deal. And it's like, you're just done because it's not, it doesn't pop out. He's just standing in the field, like doing this thing, which makes it even more freaky when you see it happen. You know, there's just an, and also not to drop a name. Whenever I talked to Quentin about that movie, what Quentin loves about that movie is,

Dr. Zaius is completely right. The villain of the movie is Charlton Heston. Zaius is trying to stop him and he succeeds in the end. He's like, walk down that beach. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you who you are. And he does. He's like, oh, we're the reason. It's the craziest ending, by the way. That gave me the chills.

It's still chilling to this day. And when they do, like, okay, when they show, when you see the Statue of Liberty, no music, just the sound of the waves. And he's just there. And we're gone. It's so final. It's so final. Wow.

Heston in the mature Heston, post Ben-Hur Heston, the Soylent Green Heston, the Omega Man Heston is so magic. One thing also, you know, I was taking my son to see one of the new Planet of the Apes years ago. Yeah, yeah. And the very first shot is the ape face comes down on the screen.

And it was the first reissue. And I remember that 20 minutes of Rod Serling, I guess, dialogue in the desert. Yeah. All this anticipation, as opposed to they get off the ship, they get to the shore, and then they see the monkey on the horse. So that, you know, I'm a grumpy old man, but it was so magic just having them philosophize walking through this planet, you know. What about Charlton Heston saying another crazy thing

Big part of a movie, Soylent Green is people. It fucking gave you the chills. You're like, what? Yeah. And they really leave it hanging that they almost established like he's screaming it and you almost think, I bet if they told all these starving masses that while you're eating recycled people, a chunk of them would go, all right, as long as I don't die. It's been working so far. Yeah, that's what's so terrifying about it.

He was screaming. No, but Edward G. Robertson in that movie. Oh, I mean, that's the thing about great science fiction when it hits you that emotionally and you're not even really ready for it. But yeah. By the way, I'm sure you guys, you guys know movies, but I'm not telling you anything you don't know. You know, how 9000 in 2001? Oh, yeah. You know, the joke in that, right? No. H.A.L. Go to the next letter of the alphabet for each of those letters.

H-I-B-M. A-B. It's IBM. IBM. Okay. Just a little insight. A little Easter egg. A little Easter egg. A little Easter egg.

Dana loves that movie. Isn't that one of your top movies ever, Dana? Yeah, I would say, well, what's a better topic for a film than how did we get here? And this plausible thing of that we were seeded by aliens. Yeah.

I mean, what is a better moment than throwing the bone in the air turns to spaceship? I'm sorry. Maybe it's cliche at this point. No, no. But at the time, that must have also been stunning. And it's also there's something really there's another little hidden jab at humanity where at the beginning, the aliens come down, they seat us with intelligence and they help us fight over a fucking waterhole. And we win this fight.

hole. We win the hole. And then that bone becomes a satellite going around the moon. And what are we doing on the moon? We're fighting with the Russians over a hole that we've dug in the moon with another thing in it. Like we're just, nothing's actually changed the technology different, but we're all the same, same fights are going on. Same bullshit. Yeah.

So I just love that there's that little, oh, we're just fighting over holes in the ground. And what Kubrick did cinematically is he kind of blurred out a little bit the apes. He made it surreal in a way. Yes. There's a diffuseness to it. It's not that detail. And then when they, yeah, go ahead. I could talk about that forever. No, no, no. We'll have you back. Yeah, go ahead. A lot of it is shot,

In long or wide shots, almost like you're watching a nature documentary. They don't bother getting in close because the personalities don't matter. You're just watching the, oh, fuck, I didn't think about that. And then the effect on the, when the ape opens his mouth after winning the battle, the electronic effect on his growl, like those choices by Kubrick, you just sort of like, I watched the killing scene.

Oh, God. A couple of days ago. Really? Yeah. It's so good. Because I'd seen Paths of Glory also in the last year, which blew my mind. Another Kubrick film from the 1950s. But The Killing is just, I mean, it's heartbreaking. It was one of the first times I'd seen in a movie. Who was the actor who played the- Sterling Hayden? Oh, no, not Elijah, Elijah Cope Jr. Poor Elijah Cope Jr.

He plays the cuckold to the woman who doesn't love him at all and uses him. And he's so heartbreaking. But anyway. Oh, yeah. What do you guys think of the time machine? Sorry. Go ahead. Really quick. I just love that when Sterling Hayden goes to buy the brief, the big suitcase to put his money in, he walks out of the pawn shop and there's a poster for a strip club next to him performing that night. Lenny Bruce.

which was just, they were on this street and it was, Oh, Lenny Bruce is over there. Okay, great. And the little dog and the money flies everywhere. You know, it's just, uh, it's so great. Uh, time machine, not saying it's a perfect movie, but I saw that as a kid. And the first part of it was broad Taylor with the time machine. And you see the clothes changing pretty magic. Yeah. And the, and the frigging Morlocks are, are really disturbing. Just pulling those Eloy down into the ground.

Yeah. That stuff is still creepy as hell. I know. So anyway, you guys want to talk about movies or stand-up comedy or whatever? No, I want to hear about Six Pack. Then I'll get off of it. I figured that's so bad it's good, right? That is one of those things back in the early days of IMDb, you could write anything you wanted and someone added that.

to my IMDB. And I've just never changed. I just love that. It's just there. There's also some stuff in my Wikipedia that is so blatantly untrue, but I'm like, I don't want to change it. I love that. Like his comedy deals with cuneiform, uh, calligraphy. I'm like, great. Leave it there. Great. Have it be there. Good. I put one in mind about like, uh,

I used to house like baby weasels or something and something dumb that stayed in there forever. And the same thing it asked about, but I just looked up six pack gorgeous Diane Lane, Kenny Rogers as Brewster Baker. It just looks like a movie. I would have killed over. It sounds fun. Yeah. The poster is exactly that fun cartoony.

Smokey and the band, whatever that, that style from the old days, everyone's like a cartoon animated drawing. Yep. Looks great. Looks fun. Really quick. I mean, I got to shoot Kenny Rogers on an episode of Reno nine one one. So I got to hung out, hang out for a day with him and he could not have been a cooler guy. He was just the most chill fun. So I feel like Diane Lane and everyone in that film was like, yeah, we hung out with Kenny Rogers and did a race car movie. It was great. Of course it's yeah.

So did you ritually assassinate him or did you just shot him casually? He's...

He's doing a book signing and the Reno share department is doing all the security around. They're doing so much security that no one knows what the book signing is. So no one is showing up. And then I'm this crazed guy. They dress me up like Mark David Chapman. And I go, what condition is your condition in, Kenneth? I'm kind of bobbing up and down there. They totally ignore me. And then I go, I love you, gambler. And I shoot him in the stomach and run away.

What a fun episode. The funny part. You're giving him respect. I love you, Gambler. And then the police, all the Reno guys around him, he goes, go get the mall security. I need protection. Like he doesn't want them helping him. Go find mall security, please. Here's an impression of a Kenny Rogers concert. He walks out to applause. He starts to sing and someone goes, do Gambler.

Yeah. His whole life. Do it. He goes, I already did it at the beginning. Do it again. Do Gambler. Do Gambler. Do Gambler. Do Gambler. Do you find any? In the middle of every song. Interesting as far as Wikipedia pages, because when people, they put something on mine too. It's on my Wikipedia page. I was previously married to a woman named Leah.

And then people just assumed it was true. And I go, no, it's not true. And then they always go, but you must have known someone named Leah. No, it's completely made up. Well, you might've dated someone or someone. No, no, no, no. So she's totally out of the picture now. I don't know if you've experienced that. Well, you must have. No, no, no.

So it was an acrimonious divorce because you kept her off your Wikipedia page then, right? Then they go to that. So you had a deal. You protested. It sounds like you're hiding something. You have an NDA. There's no way to ever escape it. It's always guilty. Then cut to like five years later. So you were married to a woman named Leah? Yeah. Yeah, I was. Yeah, fuck it. You just completely beat me down. Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah. Ever think of getting back with Leah? I got Leah off camera right now.

So, you know, David, just newsflash in my earlier days, I did do a stationary rower and I thought it was one of the best workouts you can possibly get. Oh, yeah. And the current greatest thing to get right now is hydro rower. Yeah. And I would really recommend it. It doesn't there's no real pounding like you can get with running and sure. And it's one movement and you're getting your whole body really burn calories.

And break a sweat. Yeah. You know, a lot of people talk about, oh, I should get somebody a treadmill or elliptical or a bike. It's just a lot of yapping. You know, they don't really work out your upper body or core. No, you would you do this properly with hydro? You are just like your entire movement is your core. Then it goes to your back, your arms. You push off with your legs.

It's literally everything, including your pinky gets a workout. It's not super easy, but it's a workout. And that's what it's, that's what you need. You know, you need to work out, get sweaty and feel good. It just hits a lot, a lot of muscles, arms, legs, core, everything.

It works 86% of your muscles. - Yes, and by the way, there's a way, usually it's called a damper to adjust the tension when you pull back on the row, quote unquote. And so you can make it easy. You can start out on the hydro, just get acclimated to the movement. You don't have to go all out. And then eventually you can just, as you get more fit, you can up the tension on the chain. - And some people get confused 'cause they go, I thought a damper was when you invited Dana to your party.

It really bums people out. Anyway, all hydro workouts are led by Olympians, world-class athletes, top-tier coaches. What's really cool, hydro workouts are filmed all over the world, outside, not stuck in some sweaty studio. They have the largest library of rowing workouts. You stay motivated. You crush your goals. Listen. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Hydro covers you with free standard shipping, 30 day risk-free trial, one year warranty. Listen, this is easy at home with hydro. You know what I mean? Yes. You get it. You're going to love it. You're going to, I'm starting to get it. You are. Give the gift of a full body workout, David, all from the comfort of home with hydro. Head over to hydro.com and use code fly to save up to 800 off your hydro pro rower. That's right.

That's H-Y-D-R-O-W.com. Code fly. To save up to $800, that's a lot. Hydro.com. Code fly. Here's my noise of a hydro. Yeah, that would be the old-fashioned rowers. This is like... Our next one is fracture, Dana. Let's just... Fracture. We're going to go through this. So every year, Dana, I think this is it. This is the holiday. I killed it gift-giving, and then somehow...

You get socks. I send you socks. Oh, Dave, it's socks. That's basically a cry for help wrapped in cheap cotton, partner. This year, you're leveling it up with the no-fail, jaw-dropping gift everyone will love. Wait for it. Fracture. Fracture? That sounds something like I did to my ego in the 90s when I read reviews. What is it? Hmm.

It's genius. Fracture. No, listen, listen, listen. No, listen, all kidding aside. Listen for a second. I'm not joking. Fracture takes your favorite photos like that one of you rocking the mullet

and brings them directly on sleek modern glass. Hear me out, hear me out. The colors are so vibrant, so stunning. It's like your, David, Hollywood memories all aglow. So any photos of me with the mullet on that lives in glory, that's...

That's like a hall of fame. I'll take that. Exactly. You starting to get it. Single, single prints, gallery walls, frame frameless. They've got it all. I'm telling you, I'm here to tell you, David, just upload your photo and boom, you're gifting like a pro. There's no effort required. That's good for you, which is perfect. So I don't need a toolbox because I have one screwdriver in the house.

And then you have one screwdriver right before dinner. It's a slippery snorkel. Nope. You don't have to lift a finger. They come ready to hang. No hammers, no extra holes in the wall. Just sleek, stunning glass prints that make people gasp. Even Aunt Barb. And she's a tough crowd. Barb. All right. I love it. So this year, no socks, no oven mitts, no candles, just fracture.

Thoughtful, personable, unforgettable. Fracture is, I'm going to just say this, whatever people think. It's the no fail gift that makes you a holiday hero. We both said no fail. Yeah. No fail. We're just going out on a no fail limb. All right. Well, finally, my mullet saves Christmas. What's the kicker? You get 30% off at fractureme.com with code flyfracture.

Making bad gifters great sense whenever they started. Oh, what about Down Periscope? Listen, I... Okay, let's get into some... What year was that? Because, listen, I... Down Periscope... It's a fun movie. Stupid Dana and I have the same manager. And he's like, got a movie for you. Down Periscope. They want to see you. All you got to do is show up. Go have a meeting. And I'm like, okay. And he goes...

let me ask you something. They just told me you're the only guy that came into a movie with the part and left without it. I go, why? What happened? He goes, that's a nice manager. He goes, you talked him out of you. I go, because whatever the part was, I didn't think it was right for me. And so I kind of express, just talk to him about it and left thinking,

I don't know what I'll do when I get this offer. Oh, there's no offer. You, he, they said you walked in and told me you don't want to do it. I go, no, no, no. I just said,

And then I was like, I kind of did. I don't know. That was the weirdest meeting I've ever had because that's what happened. But down Periscope, I go, it was sort of up my alley. Maybe it was I was playing the exact same thing I just played or something stupid. I don't know. What year was that, by the way? Yeah, what was that? 95. Okay, so you were already, you were famous at that point, David. No, no, no. I had done one. But not you, Pat. You were not, but David was. No, no, no. David was. Oh, yeah. Well, what did you do in that? Let's see. I'm trying to figure out this movie. Kelsey Grammer was the lead.

I literally have one line. It's what got me my SAG card.

Oh, funny. I'm scoring down IMDb cast. I'm running out of batteries. Exactly. Keep going. Plug your laptop in. David's never done this on the podcast. This is very cool that you're looking up stuff. I'm looking up stuff because I looked up The Killing and I looked up... I know. Well, already it's one of my favorite podcasts ever been on. I love talking about movies. Movies do over people like. I can do it literally all day.

I'll talk about Up Periscope or Down Periscope in the sequel Up Periscope all day long. Yeah.

It was one of those movies where I was just in the background, but I was established in the background. So I was there like almost every day and got to hang out with Toby Huss and Rob Schneider. And just like talking to, and we're just like hanging out. It was really, really fun. And just listening to people's stories, you know, and cause I'd never been in a movie. I was like, I don't know what this is. And everyone just put you. And then at one point I, cause then I got a writing job on mad TV and,

And they went, you have to start next week. And I'm like, oh God. And I went to the director and I said, look, I have to start this writing job. We have to shut down production for a while. You're going to need it. Can we mouth all this submarine set? I'll tell Kelsey. Yeah. He'll I'll break it to him. No, but, but the director was, oh, Hey, no, he was so chilly. He was like, yeah.

And this next scene, when they when they succeed, like they do this whole war game thing, just get up and walk down the hall like you walk off. So I physically just walk off of a submarine, I guess, in the middle of this movie. I love it. All right. I got to go start another job.

As far as when you did this, because it overlaps with... You're younger than I am, but you spent three years in San Francisco in the San Francisco comedy scene. So there's a familiarity with people I know and you know, or Larry Bubbles Brown or Mark Pitta. Mark Pitta. Mark Pitta, whatever. Larry Bubbles Brown, I talk to him all the time. He's one of the sweetest guys. Alex Bennett. Yeah. Alex Bennett. I love you. Alex Bennett.

I love Larry Bubbles Brown so much. I remember one night I was standing outside the Holy City Zoo and Larry Bubbles Brown was like headlining and I'm standing out there with Kevin Kataoka and some other comedians. And this couple walks by me and they're like, Larry Bubbles Brown, I keep hearing that name. He's a comedian. What does he do? And as you're saying that, the door to the

Holy City Zoo opens, like someone went outside and you just hear, suck it, whore. And then the door closes. It was so perfect. What does he, oh, that's what he does. Okay, good. He's the one that when we were doing Secret Life of Pets 2 press, you brought up where he and I are possessed by John Wayne because we're such cowards. Yes, cowards.

That he's, we love that John Wayne isn't only never afraid in his movies, but he's literally furious at the idea that anyone else could be afraid. Yes. He's just so, in the searchers, he's like yelling at people for being upset that other people have been killed. Yeah. He's in a submarine with Walter Brennan. It's like, well, take her down, Pappy. We can't take her down.

The whole submarine's going to explode. I said, take her down. You'll take her down. All right. Don't make me do what I did last time. But he never says what he did. But anyway, we riffed on that for five hours in a car. And it was you. You had him as as the pope at one point. And it was so friggin funny. Yeah. Trying to do like the Catholic mass. But it has that John Wayne. Yeah. Outrage attitude. But it made it even better.

I'm not sure I believe, Duke. I'm losing my faith. You'll believe what I tell you to believe, Pappy. I'm the pope for crying out loud. But we use it all the time just to bolster ourselves. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever work with Bobcat? Was he around? Oh, yeah. One of the first...

Right when I was starting becoming a comedian, I got to see him at the Warner Theater in D.C. And he let me come backstage and talk to him for a bit. And we've since become friends. I'm actually attending. I'm attending his wedding reception this Sunday. Wait, it's Bob or Tasha? Bob, Kat and what is his new bride's name? I'm blanking on her name. Oh, I was thinking he has a daughter named Tasha. Oh, his daughter's name, Tasha. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she's like, I think she's a costumer now. She does wardrobe. Oh, how fun. I haven't seen her since she was a baby. Isn't he from Indiana or is he living there now or no? He lives in Indiana and he owns these two ducks and he traveled cross country with these ducks. He has these pet ducks and was sneaking them into hotels.

And at his wedding, the ducks were the two, like they went down the aisle with their little bow ties to him. Like he's just, I know he's originally from Boston and he, he directed my third to last special and his daughter did all the wardrobe for me. Yeah. So he was just, he's such a brilliant director. He was such a,

I mean, we're such good friends. I'm so well, you and he would match up nicely. He is incredibly interesting to talk to. Dana, he got me, you know, and I did a police Academy movie. I think some people knew that, uh, he was in it. So I was doing standup. I was new, but he,

He helped me out. I opened for him for a while. You know, he told me he's a good piece of advice, Patton. What? Let me hear this. I was on the road with him and he was doing like fucking two, three thousand seaters, you know? Oh, yeah. And he'd throw in, it's really different to be a newer comic and do a club and then do a big theater. Yes. And so he said, the reason you're getting heckled so much

First of all, it's another way for saying bombing was he said, quit asking the audience questions. He said, every bit started with, have you guys seen this new Michael Jackson video? Well, and they all go, no. And then I go, have you seen this John Wayne movie? And they're like, I, for some reason he goes, quit starting with that. Just say, I saw this new Michael Jackson video, but, and don't give him a chance to jump in. I was like, oh, that's such a great,

because it was, I was leaving myself open every premise and I'd get interrupted and then I was spinning out. So that really helped a lot of it. That shows you my act. Have you seen 7-Eleven? What?

Have you heard of it? I'm waiting for an answer. These are rhetorical by the way. How many years were you in it when you had that revelation? That was like two years. Okay. A little too late. I used to love going to watching like open mics, even when I was an open mic or, and you would see people that they understood the, the rhythm of comedy, but they didn't understand how you used it in context. And,

So they knew all that. So I remember seeing the guy, I've never forgotten this. He was on stage. He's like, yeah, the, uh, the black on black crime is really getting out of hand. Right. Ladies.

No, that's not like he was bringing the ladies into it. You're like, no, that's not how it doesn't. It's something not working there. Abort the mission. Abort the mission. Am I right, fellas? Yeah, fellas. Give me back me up. I just I love stuff like that, that

that whole, when you have to, sometimes you learn the rhythm before the content and that can make for some really, really funny moments. What was your go-to club in San Francisco then? Did you ever play Rooster Teeth Feathers down in the peninsula? Hilarious. In Sunnyvale? I played, well, okay, I played Rooster Teeth Feathers once and then he never asked me back because his mom didn't like me.

Oh, and she was at the door collecting the money, right? Oh, really? I just think he's mean and he seems upset. And I just, I'm uncomfortable when I come on stage. And then I said to the guy, I

I go, well, is your mom buying a room full of drinks? He's like, that doesn't matter. And then that's what sealed my fate. Like I shouldn't have mouthed off, but I couldn't. Oh yeah. I'd headline and I'd say, I have a couple of guests and it would be a kerfuffle. She'd be like, well, what can't they pay or what?

Well, I'm the headliner. I mean, I fucking was, well, I was opening. You were the headliner, but I went down there and stayed at some dog shit hotel. I walked a mile the next day cause I didn't bring any money. Well, I didn't have any. I just said I didn't bring anybody and have any to bring. So I walked down after one show and I said, Hey, can I get a draw? And I think it was her.

And then she said, a draw of what? I go, I just need some money. This is a secret. They give you an ice cold beer and push you out the door. The comedy secret is, you know, you want to get, borrow some money for the week that you're going to make that week. So eight shows, I'm probably making $400. But a draw sounds fancy. She goes, how much? I go, I don't know, maybe a hundred bucks just for food for the week. And she goes, you've only worked off about 77.

She goes, I can give you that. I go, am I going to make a break for it now? I mean, the show's in four hours. I'm coming back just in case. Here's your 71, 72. And I was like, Jesus. True.

I love the deadwood mentality of like, well, you panned this much gold, so we can give you $2 or a clean woman. Which one do you want? I'll take one chicken. Yeah. I'll have a whole chicken and a 25-cent beer. Bag of seed. I'll work for Pete Moss. Yeah. I didn't go, give me a couple of grand and I will...

She goes, yeah, you're making $400. I'll worry about that. She's like, oh, that's what I should have. Go high. And then I go, I'll settle for $400. Wow. Did you play the other cafe? I'm just curious. Was that still around? It was around...

Wait a minute. It was around, but it had moved. It wasn't in the- It wasn't Carl and Cole. No, it was over in like Emeryville. And it was, I played it once and then it closed. It was that and Foo Bars. And like when I moved there, because I left-

The East Coast in 92. I started in 88 right as the boom was ending. So like as I started, I saw clubs starting to close. So then I went from D.C. to San Francisco. And when I arrived in San Francisco, there was the zoo, the punchline, the other cafe, food, three times. He's Cobbs, which I finally which I passed out after like six months. I got to become the house emcee, which was like, oh, oh, God, I made it.

But then as I got there, all the clubs started to close. And I heard the stories about when the other cafe was in the hate, like legendary stories about shows where like Bob Rubin would in the middle of a set would like just leave and get on a bus. And people would like look to see the bus just pull away. Like that was our what the heck? Like just these insane things that would go on. There was a big, big.

window and the people on the street. So I was headlining one night and there was a, a club, a lesbian club called mods, uh, down the block. And these teenagers or eighth graders or whatever, just for fun, went over and harassed them. So there was melee in the intersection. Everyone, everyone in the club could see it to the left, a right to the body.

Throw him off. I mean, just a huge, huge riot fight. You're up there going, dogs are funny. Yeah. And your back is to like this fight. Did you ever notice? Has anyone ever been to a post office?

I just sat down and pointed. That was my set. You guys did Cobbs back in the day then, right? Incarnations. There was one down in the marina. Yes. And then he went to a nicer one. And then he finally got to the one that exists today. Right. Over on Broadway, wherever it is. Which I did last week.

It was really fun. It's a good one, yeah. By the way, did you see Dave Attell's special, which he shot there? Yes. It's 36 minutes long. Go ahead. I'll let you talk about it. No, no. I was about to say that. It is very...

this it's like the ramones first album in the middle of right right now there's a lot of comedy specials that i think are getting a little too big and grandiose it's like right now we're in the emerson lake and palmer era of comedy specials and he just put out rocket to russia he's like no strip down joke joke joke joke joke 30 this is what it is it was

I love that special so much. I thought it was the special of the year or whatever. Yes, absolutely. I was blown away by how tight it was. And I was just curious whether they sort of made Cobbs a little more intimate or I wasn't sure what they did, but compared to that whole, because the managers and the agents want you in front of 3,000 people, so you'll get booked in front of 3,000. You work out your set in 200, 100 seaters, and then you go to the cavern. You know, it's like...

Yeah. Hello, hello, hello, hello. They are tougher. The ceilings are so high and you can still do well, but there's nothing like... Well, if you're doing act outs, like Patton does a lot of acting with your material and little looks and things and just small clubs must be really nice for you. 300 seaters, 400 seaters. The new Adam Sandler special looks amazing, small, intimate. Yeah.

raw i my next special i'm either gonna shoot it i just did a club i'd never done a comedy on maine in um madison wisconsin and um oh my god it was one of the best weekends i've ever had like i i it's so small it's so intimate and i'm like why am i doing these massive theaters where i'm having to do this and you're just completely wired into the crowd it was amazing

That was another cafe. It was 70. The one in Carl and Cole. 70. Really? Low ceilings and no hard alcohol and no blender. That's where everything came from me. Impala Poundstone. No blender. Well, you're three feet from the bar. Yeah, I'm there working a church lay. What is that? Dude, I did a theater. I won't say what city, but it was a new theater. And in the back was...

There's a balcony, there's a lower, but in the way back you see light and I realize it's a full bar. Yep. But people are back there mingling and it's a little distracting for me. That's directly in my eyeline and they have your back towards you, some of them, and they're laughing because they're like, hey, we can serve drinks the whole time. And if they want to just walk out there for 15 minutes and drink, it's fine if there's a door, like a swing, you know, they get out of there. Yes. They're just fucking blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I'm watching them the whole shit and they're just...

And then I hear a laugh and they go like this. Huh? Is that guy still on? Yeah. The guy you paid to come see is still on. When did comedy clubs become steak houses? Like I was playing one of the improvs Irvine and there it's a full giant, you know, road that coming out with giants. Oh, I know. And I'm trying to work. What's up? You know, and they're just digging in and you know, I love it. We've got a quarter house.

Yeah. I mean, I, you're right. You're right. It's like full meals. So at the end of that, look, the check drop is always difficult. They're like, well, yeah, but they're like, at least in the comedy club, the check drop is, well, we got three beers and we got mozzarella sticks, but now they're like, well, no, hang on. Cause the,

you didn't say the sides with the steak were extra. I thought, because I chose, like there's a whole discussion. Who had the caviar on the broccoli? I thought the au gratin potatoes came with the entree. I had no, I didn't see it on sides. Show me where it's on sides. You're closing with some bit about a homeless guy in an alley. Jalapeno poppers. Jalapeno poppers. Yeah. Get Dennis in here. Yeah. This is an ad for a new podcast.

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Visit buyatoyota.com, the official website for deals. All new Toyotas come with ToyotaCare, a no-cost maintenance plan. See your dealer or visit buyatoyota.com for details. Let's go places. Do you remember that specific compliment I gave you when we ran into each other 10 years ago? I don't. There was some bit that you did, and I heard something about

It was someone masturbating in a tunnel or something. You told the whole bit from their point of view and your point of view. And I just thought it was such first level writing, you know? Thanks, man. It was, yeah, that was when I, the three months that I lived in New York, I was, I was doing this play and I stupidly brought my dog with me. And it was just like New York, if you're not used to it,

It is a real assault, you know, and the only way I could deal with it was, OK, put yourself in the head of the person that's driving you insane. A lot of the nutty people in the street and think about how they are looking at it and maybe that'll make some more sense to you. But, yeah, I was trying to I don't want to go to the whole bit because the bit is so grim and awful. I don't know how memorable, but it's really grim. I mean, you guys lived in New York for years. You must have seen it.

so much stuff where you're like, I have to disassociate myself from this. This is too much. You're not ready for it until you get used to it. Then people come visit and they go, you see this every day? And you're like, I guess I do. It took me a second, but now I'm used to it. I was driving in a cab once and across the way, a guy just picked up his girlfriend and just body slammed her. Put her over her head and was like, Jesus. God. What happened when you ran over to help? Well, I wasn't that guy in the story. Slow down, fellas. Yeah.

I don't want people to be bummed out. She was actually got up and was mad or like, yeah, there was a story, David, you told it was either on Letterman or Conan where you had it. Cause you're from Arizona, right? Yeah.

so you had a friend from arizona come visit you in new york and they were doing the classic friend from out of town where you're like well we'll go do this you're like i can do that in arizona but like oh yeah i want the darkest most fucked up stuff and you have to go even us new yorkers don't go searching for that right you think that i have the key to some portal of madness but i actually that's not what i and he's like i can do that now like i

That landed so hard for me because I've had friends when they come visit me, like, show me the weird shit. I'm like, I don't do the weird shit. Or I go, it's Saturday Night Live and on Sunday I wake up and I go, what are you doing? And I go, I got to do laundry in the basement. I can do laundry in Arizona. Let's go to the Golden Gate Bridge. I go, well, that's not here. Yeah.

but it's it's a it's a longer walk than you think yeah yeah let's go to and then they have all these things they want to do i'm like oh we're really going to go to the statue of liberty today oh yeah yeah yeah what a production by the way pat we got it let's talk about your game show right before we go out of here we've okay milked you long enough but i actually i i honestly without no ass kissing i put it on and i think it's really good

Thank you. In other words, your asides were great. I don't know if it was the first episode, but it's a very tight, interesting game. I'm just saying that it is. Within one minute, you're like, okay, this is interesting.

Well, it's my takeaway. No, it's a British game show where they ask questions that have nothing to do with the amount of schooling you've had or knowledge. It's all, can you follow logic and put it together? So what's kind of fun about the show is, and you work your way toward the, the first question is the 90% question, which 90% of people that they poll get rights. It's very easy. And then it ends with the 1% question that only 1% of people, but what's weird is,

Because everyone's brain is wired differently and you'll watch the show and there's a 60% question that you'll go out on. But then you keep watching and go, I know the fibers. I know that like it. And you'll see like people with PhDs in nanotechnology getting smoked by someone who's working as a barista and doesn't know what they want to do with their life. But their logic centers are so much stronger that they put it together. It's so hard to find a...

a game show, they're all trying to do it because if you crack that code, you get people just sort of interested. Yeah. That's it. That's it. That takes a long run and it's hard to get. And right away, that sounds just sort of interesting. Like when you watch and you go and you're about to walk away, then you go, let me just hear this answer. And then you go, Oh, that's the, I knew that. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay. Well, let me hear the next one. Yeah. And that's what happens. People sit around with their family and they go, Oh, I got that one. Did you get this one? Yeah.

You know, that's fun for people. And it's syndicated, right? From Britain. So Ricky Gervais gets a check, I assume. Everything's syndicated from Britain. Ricky Gervais. It was a British show that, oh God, I'm blanking on his name. There was a British show and then there was an Australian version.

And then a Venezuelan version, and I'm the American version. And it's really... And David Spade, you are a fellow game show host, are you not? Snake Oil. Welcome to Snake Oil. Snake Oil. Snake Oil. We're going to hate us. But yeah, Snake Oil was... You know, all these things are interesting. Sometimes they're a little harder to...

than it seems because, you know, they go, we're going to do one. It'll take us about three days. I'm like, wait, what's going on? And then you get, you get it down, but there's a lot of stopping and starting. And there's a lot of, maybe this isn't with you, but so much focus on the rules because it's so legal. They have to get everyone. Oh boy. Yes, they do. And they have to make sure that,

I don't know about your show. Do they have like lawyers in the wings that are, they have, they have to make sure I'm sorry, but this, and they have to go over there and talk to them. Yeah. We had a woman that was a little older, uh, and she was going to the final round. And I said, if you want to bet three, four or five of whatever, I go five, you win the most, but it's the hardest, blah, blah. And she goes all my money on five. And she goes, yay. The crowd is yelling. And then we stopped and we go,

And so someone from the audience goes, she doesn't get it. And so I said, as a host, I go, do you understand what it is when you bet all five, that's all your money? And she goes, I don't.

And I go, okay, let's take a five. And so we stopped. And then the producers literally came out and they explained it to her and the celebrity. And then she goes, I got it now. And then we went on, but I was like, oh my God, that's how fast it can happen. They get caught up in the crowd and everything. Yep. She didn't, she was embarrassed, but then she figured it out because it is kind of complicated. All these game shows until you start to know them, that's why they hammer the rules over and over every commercial. You come back.

Here, instead of your three funny jokes, will you explain the rules again? I'm like, oh, this one. I think the 1% has it down. At least what I saw that it's boom, boom, boom, boom. All the information stack. The way you explain it. I got it. And we zip along. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's it's.

And also, I mean, this is probably the same with you. It's a lot of, it's crowd work. You got to talk to people, get their story, you know, make it like a human thing going on. And if you got to make it fun that way. Keep it light, little ad libs and things. Keep it light. And you have to, like when someone loses, you've got to send them home gently. I'm so, you know, you don't want to be like, oh, I got, you want to be a warm host and kind of move it along. And it's on Amazon Prime, right? Oh yeah, Amazon Prime.

No, it's okay. It's on Fox on Monday nights and the next day it streams on Amazon. Okay. So you can get it either way. Yeah. Either way. Easy, easy, easy. Fantastic. Thank you. I was just saying that I would, someone lost and I go, okay, we're going to walk you out. It's after that door, it's about a mile and a half and you're in lot C.

And the buses aren't running today. And, uh, but it's, it's not bad. And then they were like, yeah, obviously that's all cut out, but, but good try. Yeah. And I'm like, is there anything I said left in there? Like, well, not much. Cause we got the game we got. And I'm like, okay, got it. Got it. It's kind of a funny observation. Cause isn't it interesting when you're in a set, that's all glowing, like a game show set and you're in there all day and all the lights. And then you bash open the doors and it's all bright and asphalt and,

Exactly. Oh, the brightness of the set wasn't real brightness. This is the sun. This is real, yeah. Oh, okay. Wait a minute. I'm a creature of showbiz coming out in the daylight. I don't belong out here. It's a mad house. Where's that from?

Oh, that is, of course, Planet of the Apes. The man. Yeah. Thanks, buddy. I learned a lot. You're hilarious to talk to. Thanks for all these funny stories. That was so much fun to talk about the killing and to talk about Planet of the Apes and stand-up. Look, really, I'll leave you on this, on the killing. There's a scene where the big, bald chess guy starts a fight in the bar, and according to legend, I don't think it's him, but there's a guy in the background who looks so much like a young Rodney Dangerfield.

And a lot of people think that Rodney Dangerfield is an extra in that scene, but I don't think it's him. But go give it a look and see what you think. In the bar. Yeah. Oh, I was an ugly baby, Johnny. I was an ugly baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother. I tell you, I was ugly.

It's all these YouTube shorts. And if you click on Rodney once, you just want to laugh. You just go, this guy does acid humor and it's jokes. It's so hard to write. When I'm on the road, I'll go down YouTube rabbit holes till four in the morning watching him. Like just when he painted Carson, it was incredible. There's something about him. I told my dentist, my teeth are turning yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie.

And it's the relentless. I mean, I was told that he has his act recorded and he listens to it all day, or he used to, sorry. Wow. He would listen to it all day because it was so many one-liners. Too many to remember. I believe it. I believe it. Yep. Okay, bud. Take care. All right, have a good day, Pat. Thanks so much. See you guys. That was fun hanging out. See you, bud. Bye.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.