Paul Giamatti
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's- Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800 time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it? Here's a little song I wrote about our upcoming guest. Okay. Okay.

Poggemone Poggemone Can you guess who our guest is? Is that it? Oh, uh...

It's Paul Giamatti. You are a winner, my friend. I was wondering where you were going with that. You didn't really go anywhere. Well, these are called micro songs. They're like my micro impressions. They're songs, but they're just micro songs because I don't want to hog the spotlight from our incredible guest, Paul Giamatti.

I love hanging out with that guy. Very cool dude. Kind of guy you would hang out with, have some pizza with in New York. Super. It was very fun to talk to. We get into paranormal. Oh, yeah. He's into the paranormal. He has a podcast coming out about it. And he really gets in it. And I like that because everyone has had some experience with something weird, something that they want to tell you about. Yeah. He had a lot of good stories about that. He's been in a lot of...

Obviously, the big movie. Did someone say it? The big movies. The big movies. You got on. It's great. You got on. And he's been in, oh, he was in 12. He's a slave. The feel bad movie this summer. He's on Billions. Thanks for doing all the talking. Sideways was the major one. Adams. Did you mention Adams? Adams.

Oh, John Adams. Johnny Adams. We learned a lot about JJ Adams because...

Adams, we were laughing that you can't really tell if he's doing a good impression or a bad impression because it's so long ago. I'm Paul Giamatti. He's very, oh, that's pretty good. I'm Paul Giamatti. He was so nice and he's had such an amazing career. He does comedy and he does drama, both perfect and really fun to talk to. I would listen to this one. Don't, don't press the pause button. Don't touch that dial. Don't go over to some other podcast. Just listen and enjoy.

these 40 commercials. Paul Giamatti! That was good. That's all I got. I know, it was a good one.

Well, I think you've done very well. I mean, there's quotes on. I mean, there's fans. I mean, you're like you're a thing. You're a thing. OK, yeah. You had Billy Bob Thornton on. That's another guy who's a thing. Billy Bob Thornton. Yeah, well, he's yeah. He's like a serious, funny guy. He's like, yeah, yeah. He's amazing. He's what you had him on. What? Oh, on billions. No, I had him on. I've been doing this podcast.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. For like two months. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know. Two months. What the fuck? He's a newbie. Paul, do you have to take any special classes? Any courses or anything? No, I didn't. I found that I didn't need to. I'm learning on the job. Okay, that's what we did. We haven't learned one thing this whole time, and it's been a year and a half. Has it been a year and a half?

Yeah. I think if you're, uh, if you're curious, just curious about anything, that's a good place to be in. Cause, uh, you're, I'm curious about you. Yeah.

Well, no, that's it. No. And I think, I think the thing is that I was like, well, I'll talk about all this shit that I never talk about, like UFOs and stuff like that. That's super interesting to me. I can endlessly talk about that stuff, Bigfoot and stuff like that, like just endlessly. So, you know, I love that stuff. And I think that's a good area because I like, first of all, that you're veering a little bit away from Saturday Night Live, which helps us.

Yeah. And Bigfoot hosted in 2011. Did he really? That was John Mulaney, who's a size 14. So that was why they called him Bigfoot. But let's go back to Sasquatch, you know, and Bigfoot. Yeah, let's talk about this stuff, Dana. Absolutely. I'm happy to talk about it. Let's spend a little time on it. I'm happy to talk about Saturday Night Live. I don't know that I have as much interesting stuff to say. No, your episode is great, and we'll save that. That's a teaser. Okay. I went over it. It's...

was received incredibly well and you were very, very funny in it. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. Good. Oh yeah. It's a great episode to hear from you guys. Good. Actually, Dana, I want to jump in and say in your monologue, you were like shot out of a cannon. You were sort of like, you're ready to go. Is it a little nervous or what? I think I was, I think I was nervous. I think I was also, if I remember right, I was really sick.

So I was sick as a dog. So I think I was overcompensating. Wow. I think I was like, I was like, I got to get myself really ramped up because I was really unwell. I had a terrible time to be sick. Terrible. The only incredible thing about being sick and David, I'm talking about in terms of standup or whatever, your nerves go away because you're like, I don't think I can even fucking do this, but I guess I'm going to do it. I'll just do it. But I'll no way I'll be any good.

Yeah, I actually like being sick and some things or really tired, too, because then I don't over fucking do it. I overdid it there, but I don't normally overdo it. But I do think I was extra. I mean, I normally overdo it. And if I'm sick or tired, it'll cut back on my my overdoing. But that monologue, in fairness.

for anyone I've posted twice, Dana's hosted, even if you've been there and you see it and you go, I wouldn't get nervous. You, you hear that music in the back and you're like, fuck, is this really it? And then you start to shake a little, it's just too much. It's like, I was very nervous doing the whole thing. I was so nervous. I didn't really want to do it at first. I was like, I don't want to do this. They came and offered it to me. And I was like, fuck, no, I don't want to do that. That would be too. I would fuck that up. That would be terrible. I would screw that up. I don't want to do that. But you do get scale.

I think that's what I got. Yeah. Well, you also, I think, I'm sorry to harp on this, but it was interesting that

It was a blizzard that weekend. And I think from your monologue, I could gather that it was going to be hard to get an audience. You don't even know if you're doing the show. I think that's true. As I remember. Yeah. It was a gigantic blizzard. It was a huge one. You were thanking the crowd for even coming in. You said, we didn't know if we'd have a crowd. We didn't know if, and that's just one more layer of making you sick. Yeah. Shut the whole thing. Shut the whole city down. And I think it was the first time they'd ever had the party afterwards. Not at a, they had it in that studio.

Oh, a little mixer. It was a little, it was very much like a little mixer. I've never heard of it there. Yeah. It would be so convenient. Yeah. Yeah. Just break open the, whatever you're drinking right there on the ice. Yeah. It was a little sad. Yeah. Usually it's spectacular. Well, since we're on the topic, Paul, the rocker, I mean, you got, once you locked into these characters, you're really, really funny. The British guy doing the gibberish. Yeah.

The Lundford twins with Fred Armisen, who I doesn't even remember. That was really that I remember being the most fun. I liked that a lot. I thought that was really funny. And they did all the sets really well and the costumes and the other people were so great. So exactly like the people on those kind of hee haw type things. And Fred Armisen was with you and he's right. He was great. But

But yeah, that's the magic of it is that it's just picking the show by Wednesday and then these beautiful sets and beautiful costumes and you never think it's going to work. And then the air show, it's like, hey, we're actually, we're doing, I guess what we do. Yeah, I can remember them saying like, they were like, what do you think this guy's hair would be like? And I said, sort of like James Caan, the kind of like,

James Conn 70s perm that he had. Yeah. And then in two seconds, they had that wig made and it was just amazing. Well, they didn't have it made. I wore the James Conn big wig in 91. In 91. And I wrote on the bottom, I said, save it for future hosts. But anyway, you look great in it. No, they do that like that. Dan, do you ever try on the pants and it says former cast member, you know, say someone from 10, 15, 20 years ago. Yeah.

Because Farley used to wear, once he found Belushi ones, he would put them on under his own pants during the show. And I go, you're, that's like a crazy person thing. Like his lucky, his lucky pants. But I can't, I go, how do you move?

in two pairs of pants. Two pairs of pants. Didn't bother him. Didn't bother him. And he moved amazingly in two pairs of pants. Very agile. They have a big bulletin board in the wardrobe area and they list your name and then they list your sizes, you know, waist size and length. And I was the only one who had reverse sizing. So Lovitz and I have this funny long-term thing of reverse sizing because at those days I was very slender. So my

So you were very slender and your legs are incredibly short. No, my legs. Well, they had me at 32, but I don't like short pants. Oh, super long legs. I'm sorry. I see what you're saying. No, not super long, but I had a small waist. Insane. Dennis Miller used to say fucking Rob Schneider's

From the bottom of his nuts to the top of his boots is 11 inches. Jesus, that sounds so mean. By the way. Just shy of a foot between the knee bone to the hip bone. Feet.

Femur to anklet. You know, Giamatti looks a little like Schneider, which I think you said, Giamatti, right? Somebody said, or you said on some talk show. Do I look like him? Do I look more like him? Am I aging more into looking like him? Because I never thought I looked like him, but I was mistaken for him. There was a period of time where I was constantly mistaken for him. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know what started it and I don't know what ended it, but there was a definite like. You went into it and you faded out of it?

It's a weird gap where everybody was convinced I was Rob Schneider. It's not in Totem, but maybe a little bit about the upper lip and the nostrils. He has kind of an Elvis-y thing going on there. He played Elvis in Japan. We talked about that. There might be something right in there. I thought it was the eyes more, too. Well, if you... Listen, let's just say this probably never happened. There's a Grown Ups 3. We have a...

contract situation. We call Paul. All I need is 10 minutes in the trailer with you. Can you say maze maze? You could sound like him. I don't look like Paul Giamatti. Quit saying it. Okay.

He's got a hair though. They're both offended. He's got hair. No, I wasn't offended. I just couldn't figure it out. I was like, that's so weird. If you put us together, there's no way you would think we're the same. I was having dinner with him once. The guy came up, Paul Giamatti. Really? That's the thing I always wonder. Does it happen the other way? No, I'm not Paul Giamatti. Fuck you. Hey, fuck you.

Rob, if you're listening, we're joking. There's another little window where I got mistaken for Larry the cable guy, which I actually can see more than the other thing. That's 90% hat, though. At least three people thought I was. I love that one. That's a good one. Okay. Do you mind lowering your voice for a second and saying get her done? Get her done. Okay.

Okay. You're done. It's not bad. It is the guy. But I did wonder if people, there was no mistaking him for me though. That would never happen. Why is that a one-way street? I don't know. But if you have that hat, he wore a hat, right, Dana? Yeah.

Yeah. I don't have a face or a voice. Like, I'm a completely neutral person. So I'm able to, if I put a hat on and just do it, I can walk amongst. I don't have any. You could put a nose on. I'm perfect to add a voice or a thing. It's a blank canvas. People don't recognize you. People don't immediately. Your voice, nothing.

It's frustrating. What they do is they squint painfully. Like, why do I know that guy? But I love being anonymous. I'm not... Yeah, that's great. I'm an introverted extrovert. But David and I used to be mistaken for each other a lot. I could see that. I could sort of see that. Same tribe. He's got the little beard now and...

We both went to differentiate you guys. That's a good idea. I had bangs till I was 55. Then I said, my wife said, Hey, like the Dutch boy. Yeah. My wife said, you know, tired of having sex with howdy duty here. Okay. Let's come back and do something. Although howdy. Brill cream.

Both of you guys have good heads of hair. It's nice to see. There's a lot of product. There's a lot of smoke and mirrors. If I came out of a pool...

You would comment to somebody. You would throw up. Jesus Christ, there's an island out there. That peninsula is shrinking. I'm just in a Dennis mood today. Yeah, that's very interesting. I'm punchy already, which is a good thing. Is that a thing you go to normally or is that just, is that? Well, I love doing Dennis Miller. I think he's brilliant. I mean, his, the way he'll filter language, like give me a subject, anything.

Or an idea. Having an ice cream sundae for lunch. Well, that's a good dietary choice. Okay. Give me the 7,000 calorie split. All right. I'll put that on my orifice and hold my stomach for two hours cramping. So that's a good way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

I got a freezer burn in my perineum. You never said that. David is an heir apparent to Dennis. He's doing this podcast, his throwaway wit and references. So they're twinsies. But anyway, Paul, what we love about you. Yes. Paul hasn't even talked yet. This is fantastic. We're getting to you, Paul. Let's do a little bit super down because I just want to tell people

It's also on YouTube and you can listen to it. Ching. Yeah. Cause there's animation with it. Yeah. And there's animation with it. We wanted to do the whole thing animated, but that, that was too expensive. That's just to point out people that they're talking about supernatural stuff and, and,

waking dream states. And then you, when you see it on YouTube, you're seeing animation animation. Some of the stories going, I thought that was really cool. Yeah. The animation's great. And, and that was really, that was the idea. And maybe someday we can do the whole thing. Are you allowed to show clips or you're not allowed?

I don't know. They show the whole thing. I don't know if they've harvested clips of your show and put them all around Instagram. They put clips up on the social media and stuff like that. But if you say someone in Washington, there's a new possible Bigfoot.

Can you show 10 seconds of that? Or is that a legal? Oh, of like of, of a person who filmed a big foot in Washington. That's a good question. I don't know. We haven't gotten to that. I can on social media, but YouTube might be a different story. Interesting. We haven't,

We've been wanting to do stuff like that because actually I keep talking to people of crazy stories and I want to record them and put that on and, you know, which that would be fine. But but showing like the chupacabra, somebody filmed the chupacabra in like, you know, Arizona. I don't know if we could do. Wait, sorry. I'm a neophyte. Chupacabra. Chupacabra is getting around. Is it a serpent?

It's like a crazy little coyote-ish thing that kills cattle and goats. And it's a blood sucker. It drains the blood out of goats and cows. It's sort of a Mexican. It started in Mexico, and it's like a lore that they say it's out there. Now it's gotten worldwide. I saw it.

You've seen it? I saw something demonic. So I'm at a ranchy farm place, right? We have a koi pond because it came with the house. But anyway, at the ranchy pond, at the ranchy place, there's a koi pond. So I see a thing bigger than a cat, smaller than a dog creeping in slow motion to the koi pond. Right. And I'm just looking at it. So I sort of knock. It looks at me. It looks really chewed up.

And it had a demonic face. Yeah. Just like intensely scary. I was told it's just a chewed up Bobcat. So then I just banged the window and ran away. And ran away. I think that Chupacabra has horns. I can't remember. Oh, it didn't have horns. I don't think. I think that Chupacabra has horns. You know, Paul might appreciate this story. Dana, you can tune out.

When in, in grownups too. Oh my God. A couple of people remember. That's our third reference to, uh, I know. I know. I didn't expect it to come up this much. What was the box office? Uh, gross domestically to 165, 165 minutes. I think it was. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Uh, so pre pandemic, we have a scene where the grandma has a big beat up, chewed up toe. And she goes, my toe hurts. My toe hurts. And, uh,

And one of the big... I don't want to give the whole movie away. But when she takes her sock off, and it's so big, swollen, and disgusting, like obviously cartoony, that we all react. And then they go to...

I think Chris Rock says, oh, Kobe Bryant lives or whatever. So no, Toby Bryant, whatever. So we do a couple, everyone, you know, you cut around, you go Spade, here's three for you. We do that. So we get to Salma Hayek and she goes, what should I say? And I go, just stare and go Chupacabra.

Awesome. And she did it and then no one laughed and she looked at me and I go, I think it's funny. I think someone will get it. I think it's great. That's great. It didn't make it. Didn't make even a rough cut. So Paul, about chin wag, chin wag.

Yeah, chit-wag. What is the stuff that floats you as far as supernatural? Is it people seeing ghosts, aliens? Yeah, ghosts are interesting. Aliens, I was super into for a long time, alien abduction stuff, which kind of doesn't really, I don't think it happens so much anymore.

which is weird that it was, again, there was like a window of time. It was like me being recognized as Rob Schneider. There was a window of time where people got abducted by aliens. Well, that doesn't seem to happen as much, but I'm fascinated by that and UFOs and stuff like that. And Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, all this kind of stuff. But ghosts are really interesting to me too. What's the stuff that you believe the most? Ghost? Probably the ghost stuff the most, which is actually in some ways kind of the wackiest. I don't know. It's like, but yeah, probably the ghost stuff only because I've actually had people

weird experiences like that. I haven't seen a UFO and I haven't seen Bigfoot. I wanted to ask you about that. But what's interesting is when you talk to people, because we have Irish relatives in our family, they're not even saying it's a crazy thing. They're just like, oh, we had a ghost on the house. We'd see a little girl in a dress and we'd wave hi to it. And everyone saw the same image.

And they weren't even frightened of it. It was just the ghost was there. And that's when you kind of go, well, maybe what? Yeah. Now, I think there's some places like in Japan, they're super like 99% of the population believes in ghosts.

ghosts and so everybody just accepts that you have a ghost and people will like leave out snacks for the ghost and stuff like that to appease the ghost and stuff like does the snacks ever get eaten like santa's i don't know i don't think so but i don't think you're thinking of eating or something yeah but i have a question that's not not to bum you out please but oh here we go i can take this out later we've never taken anything out

I could take this out later. But they said there for a while that there was a theory, and you might have heard this, that some of these alien abductions were people that had relatives visiting their room and they were dreaming it, and that's how it would come out when they would

or that's what they were told or something. Have you ever heard that? They would remember something that was happening, just relative specifically. Well, like a little darker than that, you know. Right. Yes. In the rooms. I understand. I understand. Have you ever heard something like that? Yes, I have. Yeah. And that it's all a kind of, there's a word for it. Waking dream state, but there's a more scientific word. Well, there's that, but there's screen. There's a thing called, I think, a screen memory, which is weird.

which is when you invent a memory to hide something from yourself like that, like what you're talking about, because you don't, you can't process that. So you think it's something else. So you sort of create- And people probably steer you to that. So it tones down possibly. Could be that too. But the thing you're talking about, Dana, is called hypnagogic sleep, which is sleep paralysis, which is- I've had it. Well, I've even seen- I've had it too. Can we hear your story? Yeah.

I've definitely, I've had it. I mean, I had one of the kind of ghost encounters was probably sleep paralysis, which is when I woke up in a place in a hotel that was very haunted in Dallas. It's supposed to be one of the most haunted places in the country. And, uh,

And I couldn't really move, but I was hearing sounds, knocking on the walls and all kinds of stuff like that. But then what I felt was there was someone in the room with me. And then I felt like someone got in a bed with me. Housekeeping? Yeah, well, I mean, you know, and then someone put their arms around me and I could feel somebody squeezing me.

And then I thought I heard somebody say, don't move like that. But then eventually I moved and woke up and it all disappeared. And a lot of that stuff is characteristic, they say, of sleep paralysis. The feeling of pressure on your chest that you can't move. The feeling that there's somebody in the room with you. And it's all...

Brain chemistry. It can all be explained. It's very real, though. It feels very real. It's super real. It feels totally real. I had a double whammy, but sorry to interrupt. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Go ahead. No, no, no. Well, I was in a hotel with my wife, and she drew a ranch. And then I had the thing where I'm about to wake up, and something is...

Yeah. Or I think I'm awake, but I'm, you know, and it's pressure on me. The word nightmare comes from as a feeling of a horse laying on you. Right. So then I woke up and said, okay, that's a waking dream state, or I must've been in between, you know, so I use the bathroom. So I go back to bed and I'm, I'm, I'm a little shooken up front. So I'm completely wide awake at that point. I processed it. I woke up and then it came again, except with more force. Yeah.

So I woke my wife up and I said, we got to leave. And we did. And there was a lightning storm outside and a dead skunk on the freeway with a kind of a way. It was a fucking nightmare. It's great. Yeah. No, but that's a, that's a big feature of it is the, is the pressure on your chest thing. And it's like, why it does that. I don't know, you know, but, but certainly that's a thing that a lot of people say the alien abduction thing could be a sleep paralysis. Yeah.

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That's $50 off with CodeFly at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. What about white noise? What about white noise? You mean like... What is it? I don't know. Well, I didn't know what white noise was, but then there was this boombox in my son's room. He was...

uh, got a little spooked about his room. So he moved in with his little brother. So the room was empty, but there's a boom box in there and it's not on, but it's 2 AM. And I hear it as if it's on between channels. Oh, really? Right. What the hell can anyone hear this? So I go in there and by the time I get to the room, it stops, but all the way there, it was, wow. I've never heard of that. I've never heard that kind of thing, but there is a, there is a thing.

It's called like electronic voice phenomenon, I think EVP, which is that people think that when you have it like sort of between stations or if you find the right frequency, you'll hear ghosts talking. People pick up voices. Yeah, exactly. Or aliens and stuff like that. And so there's a whole thing with people study that stuff.

It's amazing. I've been at dinner parties and play this game of, as anyone, I turned to someone, have you ever had a supernatural experience? Um,

besides meeting me. That's the joke. But everyone, everyone, or an extraordinary experience, but everyone has something. Oh, there was that one night, you know, that's why your podcast, Chinwag, should be a smash. I think it's just Chinwag, right? It sounds like a Chinese restaurant, but my point is... No, it's not...

The name might not be the greatest thing, but it's what we picked and they went with it and they liked it. Chinwag instead of... Yeah, I was like... It's all we could clear. Yeah, I think maybe it was all they could clear. I have a question for Dana. Dana, quickly. Okay. When you say... No, no, no. I want to hear more from you. What do you got? It's just what you just briefly ran over was...

Is the term nightmare meaning a mare laying on you? Yeah, a horse. Yeah, that's where it came from. I've never heard that. The night horse, the horse that kind of comes in and takes you away. Yeah, it feels like a heavy, you can't, it wants to hold you down and you can't.

push on it. The second time it was pushing harder. And then some people are spiritual, like these are trapped souls and they're actually sort of disoriented themselves and they want to take your life and your body over. So they're just trying to get into your body. No way they were successful. I have a Paul one.

I have a Paul question, Dana. Don't get mad. This one's for Paul. Oh! Okay, so... I like when Paul talks. When I have my dreams that are scary, I will hear someone in my room say something to me, and I wake up to look, and I realize it's so scary and real. They'll say my name, or something will talk, and I'll get up, and I...

I must've just dreamed it and it seemed real. And it, yeah. Or something. I don't know. Because again, that's the weird, you can hear things with sleep paralysis too. So I don't know, maybe it's kind of that thing. I've had that happen too. I'm just trying to get in the club with you guys, I think. No, no, no. Listen, that's super. One of the other ghost things I had was hearing voices in a room where somebody had told me you can hear voices in this room. And I, and I used to, it was a, it was a,

the relative of mine's house. And I used to sleep in this bedroom just because I was like, I want to, I want to experience this. And it never happened. And then finally it did one night. It woke me up because I heard a voice and it woke me up. Then it wasn't going. And I thought, oh, I was imagining it or something. And then I would hear the voice. It was two voices talking to each other. I had that on the road in Wisconsin, Dana. I think I told you I did this gig and I was selling out all these shows. It's no editing part of the story.

That's good to know, though. That's very good to know. How big were the rooms you were selling? How many tickets? A lot of comps or hard tickets? But after the shows, when I was wiped out from doing encores, I'd go home. You're tired. And, uh...

I'm walking through the lobby like, "You're so brilliant, blah, blah, blah. You're so famous, whatever, whatever." - So you're exhausted, but exhausted. - Supernatural, just, yeah, absolutely. - I've got carpal tunnel from signing Funkos. So anyway, I go in and they go, and then Bobby got on the road with me, goes, "You know, this hotel's haunted." And I go, "It's a pretty nice hotel, it's huge." And I said, "Oh no, don't tell me that. That scares me and we're here for three nights."

And then they have a company line. That's how haunted it is. They go, are you guys haunted? And the waitress goes, um...

We serve spirits in the bar. And I go, shut the fuck up. Are you guys haunted? You do not get the question. But they're not allowed to tell you. So everyone dodges it. And everyone's like, I mean, people have said things, but it's not. I mean, we can't. Because it scares people. Yeah, it does. But I think it'd probably be a selling point, too, for some people. But probably not enough people. I was afraid of it, but now I'm more fascinated. Have you guys ever seen a ghost? Because I have.

No, I've never seen one. And I don't know that I buy that. The whole like, you know, the lady in green with the bloody head walking down the hall. I don't know that I buy that. I challenge that. I draw the line at that. I don't really know that I buy that. This 10-year-old girl in a nightdress a few times, because it was the same house, 1912 it was built, would come through the wall and just walk down the center of the bed. You've seen that? Yes. You saw that? Yes.

You saw the 10-year-old girl in white walking through the pew diarrhea. Yeah, walking down, coming down the center of the bed. And then I told my wife, what are you doing?

You know, no kidding. But I did. I did see that. And and this was a thing other people had seen. No. And it's all in that same house in that same area. No one's seen anything. I'm a bad. You know, my friends, my friends said I don't have collaboration. I saw a ghost. It looked like a young waitress leaving the house right when she got home. And he's like, wow, my God, it's haunted. Did you you saw her, too?

young pretty waitress she just took off oh we gotta move honey this is terrifying no i love this are there movies that terrified you like the exorcist or whatever that are yeah the exorcist is scary the shining always scared me when i was a kid yeah the shining was a scary one the first movie i can never remember seeing was a movie i don't know if you guys have seen this movie carnival of souls are you big movie buff guys

Well, I am, I would say, but I haven't seen Carnival of Souls. Oh, you should check it out. It's a really, really, oh, it's got to be the early 60s, I think. Oh, okay. Blood Farmers. A little black and white. But Blood Farmers is a good movie. Sickening. I watched Logan's Run last night, so that's where I'm. Oh, did they remake that? Or were they talking about remaking Logan's Run? They might. Yeah, yeah. That was 1970s, I think. Yeah, that's a great one.

Farrah Fawcett. It was scary. She's bloody and dying. Farrah Fawcett. Michael York.

Yeah, absolutely. Great. That was a great scary. Was it? It wasn't supposed to. No, no, I was just sci fi. I mean, scary ones. I mean, the shining, I think, is, you know, what about like the conjuring? Are those I don't I haven't seen one. Those modern ones are more horror shock. There's there's. Yeah. And they're OK. So Kubrick's was atmospheric. Go ahead. Did you see this movie Barbarian?

Fuck. That just came out. Is it a real, real horror film? No. Yeah. It's really good. It's really good. Yeah. It's really good. A real scary film. So you don't see them. You get really freaked out by. I do. I don't like that. Those as much as I love smart science fiction. Like I loved alien, you know? Yeah.

Obviously, 2001. I love smart science fiction. I do, too. I like science fiction like that, too. Yeah, and it can be a little scary, but still fascinating. Did you just see a movie called Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise? Yes. That's a good one. I've seen it twice. Yeah, that was a really good one. The guy just kept repeating everything over and over again. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, I liked that. At this point, I'll see anything with Tom Cruise. I mean, he's won me over.

well he'll jump out of a plane he'll fly I mean he'll go to the moon he's gonna go into space isn't he I think he's gonna go into space I just have such a me too more appreciation for him as he's gone on me too Top Gun was brilliant I mean it was brilliant amazing film saw it three times brilliant the type of film that you can't not

How do you not enjoy that? And so at this point, he's like the last movie star, they say, or whatever you want to call him, he's got his own lane. And now I'm just have such an appreciation for me too. But I always liked him. I always thought he was a risky business, which I read. I read for risky business for which, for, for that part of that part. Yeah.

Oh, wow. What a different. When did you find out? When you found out when he came out? I nailed the audition. He passed me on the way in. I go, really? I said, top that motherfucker. Did you? At that point, he was a known guy because he'd done the machine gun. Machine gunning out the window thing. It's beautiful. Yes. It's so beautiful. It's fucking beautiful. Taps. Taps.

I read for it, but I don't think I got close to it. I had a problem. What would you call it? Bad actor syndrome. It's a bit of a problem. Not being able to act. It's tough. There's something you can do about that. You can certainly get over that. I need a teacher and we could do it over Zoom because I think you could teach me.

Paul is known as a great actor. I tested for Amadeus. I tested for Amadeus because I had a baby face and blonde hair. Yeah, you would have been great in that. I know. Tom Hulse was okay. Didn't he win the Oscar? Did he? I don't know. He was okay. He would have been great in that, though. That's a good movie. I saw that again not too long ago. Which one? Amadeus. Yes. Do you go for mostly people in the 1700s?

Yes, I strictly. I feel like you could play anyone in the 1700s. That's my bailiwick is people in the people in the 1700s. That's my wheelhouse. Here's the thing. Just to bring that up. He goes from Big Fat Liar, which was just huge for my kids, where you're the blue or the orange guy. I mean, just gigantic. And then he plays John Adams in a miniseries at HBO and wins like 20 awards. I don't know how many awards.

Yeah, I don't know. I thought it was troubling for people that I was the blue guy and then I was John Adams. I don't know. It probably was troubling. I think it's called range. Okay, that would be a nice way of putting it. The good thing about John Adams is no one knows if you're playing. He could never play John Adams. Oh, yeah?

Fuck face. There you go. Watch say, are you playing him well? And you go, this is exactly how he was. Exactly. That was a good one because nobody knows what he's like. They having to play Washington was much more probably. I mean, the guy was great. David Morris was great. And Ben Franklin, the people that everybody knows. But yeah, I didn't have to

I didn't have to live. I could just make it up. I mean, nobody really knows what he, nobody knows much about him, but tell me how you prep for that. Or when you got it was like, Oh, I'm playing John Adams. Was it, was it a big get to Tom Cruise read for it? I don't know. That would have been amazing. You should have read for it. You would have been great as something in that both of you would have been great as something. Thank you. Well, if you ever direct anything, put us in there. I will. If I do a 1700s thing, I'm definitely going to have, well, let me, let me ask you a question.

Let me ask you a question about technique, because I always feel like comedians are good when they're discovering it. If you look at Larry David, there's like Larry David's like, OK, you'll do this. And Gary Shanley did that, too. We'll say something like this, like that. And there's three cameras and then you just do the take and you kind of know your lines. You don't really have lines.

Uh-huh. So it seems like great actors, trained actors can do all the angles, repeat everything. But do you have a technique for yourself? Like I'm going to save it for the closeup or whatever you do in the wide shot in the morning, you got to match it all day. I mean, I suppose sometimes it's hard to do. Yeah, it is hard to do. But I mean, I guess sometimes I've gotten more into the,

sometimes I save the energy if I'm tired or something like that, but I don't generally do anything all that different from thing to thing. I mean, I don't really do it, which may account for sometimes my extra hammy acting, but it's like, but I don't really think of it that way. No, I still kind of, cause I used to act on stage a lot. I still sort of think of it like I'm on stage, which is probably not the greatest way to act on film, but I sort of do, you know? I mean, it's like, if I'm off camera, I'm still doing it,

I mean, I like doing it. You give it 100% off camera? Don't you lie. Don't you lie. No, I do. I do. I would never do off camera. I give it 45%. You guys, do you guys not do it? Garth, Garth never. Hey, Garth doesn't do fucking off camera. Have you worked with the guys who don't do off camera stuff? I know. I always do off camera. That seems amazing to just walk to your door. I've had it where they have either. I've had their stand in read.

Yeah, I've had it too. I've had it where they, I don't even know if I'm allowed to complain. I just know it's, it's a little disrespectful, but some people, whatever's going on or they're burned out, I go, I'll give it to them. I said, you can, sometimes I go, you can get out of here. Some of them, you don't need much to do your side, you know,

Yeah, or whatever. I mean, I know people who don't want to look at you when you're off camera. Some people who kind of prefer not really looking at something, they get distracted by something off camera. When I do movies with Daniel Day-Lewis, we laugh about this. Danny and I talked about it too. You talked to Danny about that? Yeah.

Yeah. DDL is usually saying stuff like, um, just to just, he, you know what he says to me, just say how to say it. Just tell me how to say it. Right.

Right. He just needs a line reading. He goes, I'm not getting it. I can tell from your face. Just tell me one and I'll just say it and we'll get out of here. What am I doing wrong? Yeah, totally. Totally. Well, I want to ask you, Paul, because I think you're a great actor. So now we can dig into that a little bit. Like I asked Joe Pesci, I go, Joe Pesci, how do you know the scene is great? Or how do you do it? And he goes, you just lock in. You lock in. That's what you do. So I wonder because...

if you're a smart person and you're over redundant thinker about life and absorbing and sensitive person, and then you got to focus into this thing where you're so loose. It seems to me great actors kind of aren't acting when they're in the pocket, when they're supposed. So, yeah, yeah. There's a great take and you realize there was no judgment. The voice wasn't saying, am I doing this right? You know what I mean? But, but I always wonder, is that actually the best take sometimes? You know what I mean? Sometimes if you think it was,

or you felt like it was i wonder if it actually was you know i mean you can't really know in some ways i don't know somebody like him though i mean has he ever not been in this i mean has he ever not been in in the sweet spot all the time i mean that guy lives in the sweet spot it's like he doesn't you know i mean it's like and somebody some guys like i don't know does he need to do a lot of preparation and shit i mean it's like it's not that he's playing himself it's just that he's

I mean, he just, it's constantly a guy like that. I see like Jeff Goldblum. I'm like, when did you like, when did you flip the switch? And it just turned on Jeff, Jeff Goldblum and everything. Yeah. Just endlessly flows out of you. And it's endlessly. Yeah. It's endlessly interesting too. And it's like, you're always in the zone and, and it's not like they're repeating themselves in some way because they're always great. They're always, you know, and then DDL, DDL has to prepare for three years to become somebody completely different.

You know, he kind of lost me when he said, which I love Daniel Lewis, but Sally Field goes, he was so into Lincoln. He would text me as Lincoln. I'm like, well, I don't know if,

That sort of ruins it a little bit. That doesn't really, yeah, that doesn't add up. He had a flip phone. He couldn't text. I have a bit of a competition problem. I think he was doing, I think he, like Brando would do it too, or Nicolas Cage, you'll do a subtle impression. So I think Daniel Day-Lewis was doing a John Huston was who he was doing throughout There Will Be Blood.

Right. Not that I should win. It's everyone else should lose. I'm John Huston. Cut. Daniel, no, you're not. You're not John Huston. I think I am John Huston. I think that's a good. There's something to that. I think there is something to that. You find a funny voice. You find a funny voice that's endlessly interesting. Yeah. Nicolas Cage. Nicolas Cage. I was doing this goofy movie with him.

and he goes he was just thought acting shouldn't have to be real it should be surreal if it wants to be he goes in this next take I'm going to come in and I'm going to do Daniel Day Lewis in the name of the father and so he came in he plopped to his knees and started crying he was doing a scene from a different movie not telling the director cut brilliant brilliant did he really do that

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's amazing. What was the movie you did with Nicholas Cage? It's not as big as your movie. Trapped in Paradise. Me, me, love it. Yeah, there was no script and no real direction. We wandered around in the snow for a few months and they put it together. Anyway, I did Mickey Rourke.

I'm much, that's always a good choice. I did make you work in the movie. Did you? I don't know what you're doing. Well, I don't know what you're doing, but you guys should stop doing it. Watch the movie. It didn't work. The studio was mad. Anyway, back to you, Paul. What were you saying? I think he's a great actor. Mickey Rourke, by the way. Oh yeah. Mickey Rourke, a great actor. Do you ever, do you ever watch a body heat?

Is he in Body Heat? Yeah, he comes in. I don't know what he's doing. Oh, that's right. Yes, yes, yes. He's great in Body Heat. And he's great. He has the music on and everything. That's a great movie. Yeah, he's great in Body Heat. Yeah. He's a great actor. He's a great actor. That's William Hurt and Kathleen Turner, maybe? Yep, that's right. William and Ted Danson. Ted Danson's in that movie quite a bit. Oh, yeah. And he's dancing in the movie. Yes. Yeah. That's the movie I'll watch every couple of years. I haven't seen it in a long time. I should watch it.

I'm a nibbler, Dana. And I think you are too, but you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up.

They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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Visit buyatoyota.com, the official website for deals. All new Toyotas come with ToyotaCare, a no-cost maintenance plan. See your dealer or visit buyatoyota.com for details. Let's go places. Let me ask you a question because you've been in all these movies, all these great actors. So you've been in a scene with someone.

And then you just think to yourself, damn, they're good. Like really good. Oh yeah. All the time. Yeah. No, I did a movie with David. I have yet to do that. Believe me, it's going to be, it's going to knock my socks off. I'm saving it. You're not seeing it here. You'll see it. Very good. Yeah. All the time. I mean, that happens all the time. I did. Russell Crowe was like that. It's like crazy. And he's great. He's really great to work with. He's awesome.

And yeah, he was like that. And Helen Mirren, I was like, how the fuck? Wow. How the fuck are you doing any of this? It's amazing. And all kinds of people. Yeah. But Russell Crowe actually was a good one. He was totally like that. All the time. Send a real man. I worked with William Heard. He was amazing. He was amazing. Yeah. What about you did Man on the Moon? How was Carrie on that? I loved him. Carrie. Was he...

Cause you know, I heard stories about that movie, but was it just, was it interesting? Have you guys ever done anything with somebody who's doing that sort of like I'm in the character all the time thing? Uh, a little bit. I think Sean Penn, it was a movie called racing with the moon wanted to be referred to as character. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. My part was cut out of the movie, but I had a scene with Sean Penn in a hospital. Yeah. I was a, I was a crazy man. You were like another, you were a lunatic in the hospital. Yeah. But I'll tell you what, Richard Benjamin called me at home and said, we love what you did, but we have to cut it out. He was so sweet to do that. So I worked with him. I did a movie. I did a,

a Disney family TV movie with that he directed where I played a wacky civil war ghost. It was great. It was one of my favorite things I've ever done. It was so really, yeah, it was a long time ago. He was great. Oh yeah. Dickie Benjamin is the best. I was blown away to be working with Dickie Benjamin. I was like, that's really, that's amazing. Wait a minute. What'd you ask me? Man on the moon. Man on the moon. Oh, it was, um,

Yeah, it was challenging. It was not easy. You know, he was great, but it was tricky, you know, because it was sometimes hard to just kind of fit yourself around what he was doing, you know, being in the thing all the time. And it was tricky. It was amazing. And they made a documentary because he filmed all this stuff off camera. And it was like, what was going on off camera was amazing.

almost was more insane than the actual movie. And I think the idea was to make some kind of movie out of that, which eventually he made this documentary about it, but it was like... So it's Jim Carrey playing Andy Kaufman who's playing Tony Clifton? Tony Clifton, yeah. So it was like... So whenever he was Tony Clifton, it was particularly...

mayhem off the set because he was just fucking you know he would so you yell cut and he's still in character and the character of tony clifton is loud of knox who's yeah just just lunatic yeah what's your fucking problem so he was proud yeah

Yeah, browbeating everybody. And he was walking around with fucking stinky cheese in his pockets and he was smearing stinky cheese on people when he'd hug you. He'd be like, you know, give me a hug. Give me a hug. And he would like, you know, he's stinking. Who pushed back the hardest? Who said, get the fuck off me?

I don't know that anybody did. That was the thing is that it was such a fucking weird assault that I think people just were so kind of stunned during the headlights that you couldn't really tell them to fuck off. We're just like, okay, okay, I'll give you a hug. Nobody really told him to fuck off because it just occupied the whole fucking room whenever he was doing it.

Especially that character. And then sometimes he's Andy Kaufman, who, if people don't know, is just sort of quiet, more demure, right? Yeah, that was a more manageable thing. Yeah, it was interesting. I mean, it was fun. It was challenging. You know, but it was fun. Got talked about.

Yeah, for sure. It did. Yeah. And sometimes you'd wonder like guys do that. And is it just building a kind of mystique around what you're doing? Is it like, does it make you more mysterious and more interesting sometimes if you do that? I don't know. Yeah. Does it feel it works for them? Yeah. I remember Rob Williams telling me that the real, um, Andy Kaufman at, at a given point would wear his wrestling outfit. You could tell he was wearing it underneath his clothes. Right. Just hanging out, walking around, just hanging out. Yeah. Yeah.

He was amazing. The stuff he did was really amazing. Yeah. Really brilliant. Anti-comedy. Yeah. Worked on a lot of crazy levels. Yeah. And I remember thinking, realizing, watching so much of that stuff with him. And I was like, he does the shit.

That you do alone in your room that you would never do in front of anybody else. He does that in front of other people. You know what I mean? Like the mighty, the mighty mouse thing and shit. I'm like, or just like, I'm just going to read fucking great Gatsby endlessly. And it's like the thing you just aren't going to do. He just would do, you know, it was like the thing that's going to not work. That's going to bomb or not. It's the word performance art in a way more than comedy. When you're kind of, you know, I would say that because you're not eliciting,

big laughs all the time. You're getting people that are like, really love it, really love it. And then the people that don't go, I'm waiting for the payoff and it's not there sometimes. I did a...

Sorry, go ahead. No, no, no, go ahead. No, no, no. I did a Showtime special. I was really bad. It was in the early 80s. I got a two-minute spot on it. It was just a... And Andy was on there, and I was outside, and they go, Andy's still on. He'd brought a washer and dryer on the stage, and he just...

He did his laundry. Oh, I said, when do we go for the good nights? He goes, he's on the dry cycle. He's got seven more minutes. I go, what? It's amazing. Yeah. And nobody really does anything like that anymore. I mean, the kind of nobody does stuff like that. That's calculated. I mean, if somebody does something like that, it's going to be more the jokes they're telling are going to be.

So off color or so politically. Yeah, even Norm MacDonald, who is a little off brand, is there's payoffs and there's this and that. Or it's a put on, but it's not like that wrestling thing where you're waiting.

Yeah. No, he hurts for the pay. This is not funny. Yeah. I mean, it's genuinely not funny. It's like, and, but which is just amazing. And you think there's going to be a big thing at the end where you go, Oh, he did all this because blank. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Nothing. I do think he really got off on the theater theatrical idea that he's,

insulting the audience. You know, they're in, they're in the South. They're, they're big with the ring and go, you guys are bunts. Hey, see, and they go, boo, they take him so seriously. Yeah. Somehow I must've enjoyed that part. No, definitely. There was some kind of really aggressive element to it. I guess, I guess what's his name?

you know uh borat did that guy yeah he does that kind of thing too sasha yeah i don't understand i'd say he's probably closer to that yeah you're right yeah you're right because he did that down there and he'd fight and he got naked or something yeah yeah i don't like it i i'm not my wheelhouse to to to come from cruelty too aggressive to like kind of aggressive and well you get these bad positions

these frat boys in a camper and you, they're drinking and you sort of humiliate them and it affects their life, you know?

know stuff like that but uh i have an offshoot question yes yeah and then we'll talk about sideways as per your deal but that's interesting the humiliation thing is interesting to me but i want to talk about that too just because i think that's interesting because i don't like it let's talk about it yeah i also feel like a lot of comics i i don't go see a lasari i do want to i do want to hear what we'll go to sideways but i want to hear the yeah but i i was like i just i also don't love

I'm not a stand up guy and I've never done it. And I never would have the balls to do it. And I don't even go see it that much. But I went not too long ago to watch a bunch of people do it. And so much of the humor was just self-humiliation. It was too much self-humiliation. It was all just like, I'm disgusting. Nobody wants to fuck me. Nobody wants to. And I just kind of actually didn't find it funny after a while. A lot of it was just this really kind of like relentlessly like self-humiliation.

whipping kind of humor. A lot of it was like that. Yeah. Social media begat kind of exposing everything. And then the idea, the comedians up there and like, uh, you know,

You know, I was masturbating in front of my cat today's guy's elbow on the mic stand, you know, and self-flagellation and self-criticism and honesty. And I'm so depressed. I have so much anxiety and I can't get laid. Yeah. Yeah. Which to a certain extent is fine. But then when it's just the whole thing and it was like one person after another like this and I just, you know, part of it, Paul, might be that.

There is sort of a wave of that, and there's a wave of less targets out there because of cancellation. So they become the target. That's interesting. I've even made fun of myself, but I always have just a little bit. Yeah, you do, but it doesn't feel like the same thing. It doesn't feel the same. No.

I go out because it's funny every time. Stop in, but I don't make it my whole theme of like, I'm the biggest fucking loser in the world. And I have a lot of problems. I take a lot of pills. Like I get, I get kind of what you're saying, but I know that targets are going away and, and people say, oh, they shouldn't. And you can do whatever you want, but you really can't. You can do some of it. And you, if you haven't, if you have a bit, it has to be so bulletproof from every angle where you can't get in trouble for it. If it's, if it's a risky bit,

If it's race, if it's this, if that, you better be careful because you're going to get somebody mad. And if they get mad and they make us think about it, then you're suddenly backpedaling and you're like, it's just comedy, but that doesn't always get you out of it.

Yeah. My goal maybe would be similar if you went into standup, Paul, was that, and I'll go back to this all the time because being in the Volkswagen bug, maybe your friends are a little stoned and I'm doing an impression of the water polo coach and I'm doing it redundantly and exaggerating it, winding it, winding it, winding it, and they're helpless.

So that still is where my favorite place to get with an audience is I'm going to do Fauci for 10 minutes and I'm going to go further and further. We gave you the boosters, but they didn't work.

So that the rhythm of the language, the silliness of the exaggeration becomes this stew of laughter. So that's always the goal for me. So I don't have to worry about cancel culture. But I do love, I love something you do, which is just the little,

The little like one line, one gesture impersonation is really funny. The sort of like Michael Caine with his coloring book or whatever. Oh my God, you know about that? Well, that was just out of boredom. I thought I'll do micro impressions. Like I would do the great Sean Connery. I go, this is great. Late great Sean Connery gets back as asked whether he enjoyed his vacation in Spain. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

That's it. That's it. Just endlessly. That does it for me. Christopher Walken sees an amazing magic trick. Wow. That does it for me. That's good for me. And then Michael Caine in kindergarten. I'd like to eat power.

paste. I don't know why, but I love to eat things in the classroom. So I don't know what you call it, but in the classroom, the text is one thing, but then the musicality of the rhythm. Yes. Yeah. To distill them to just one sound is fun for me. Something in your brain and in the listener's brain that you can't stop. There's some sort of thing that

The fact that you heard that bit. Anyway, let's go sideways. Sideways is a movie that I visit regularly. My wife and I saw it within the last year. And we think it's just a very special movie. Like your character in that.

is so i don't know it's so it's heartbreaking and hysterical and your your co-star uh hey tom church tom church hayden church yeah hayden church you guys were so great together he's really funny he's a really funny guy i think people know guys like that and i do know a guy like that and you were put in this weird position of being with him and you're also depressed and

And he's living the high life and he's about to be married and he's doing all this shit you wouldn't do. Right. And, right. And I love my carefree friends that have no worries or any conscience about anything. Yeah. And it makes me feel like a stiff cause yeah. Yeah. You sort of think a little more straight, not totally, but you go really like you're totally cool with all this shit you're doing. Yes. Well, but that's the thing that I think is kind of interesting about that movie is that in a way though, oh,

he's almost more fucked up than the guy I play. And in a way he's almost in the darker, more fucked up place. Sure. Yeah. And then even the guy I'm playing, which I always think is interesting in that movie that you really kind of suddenly see this moment. He's brighter about it, but he's covering it. Cause it's like, so like, Hey, we're having a great time. Why can't you be fun? He's going to go get married and live in that house with the father. Who's going to be an asshole and go and just kind of cut himself up. And like, it's kind of depressing. And actually my guy in the end,

He's got possibilities in his life and stuff. So it's interesting the way it switches. He's more real. Yeah. The desperate to have, we're going to have so much fun. Like for people, I haven't seen it. Go see it. It's two guys. Go, go to the wine country. And,

And one guy is shy and is brokenhearted and his friend's trying to get him laid. And your scenes of the woman that you like are so funny and heartbreaking of trying to break. Yeah. Who was the actress? I'm glad you like it. Virginia Madsen. Virginia Madsen. Yes. You were, oh, that was such a great pairing. She's great. The script was really great. It's one of those things. The gentleman who did that also did Descendants, right? He did. He did the Descendants. He did Election. He did Nebraska. Nebraska.

About Schmidt. He did Alexander Payne. Yeah. Yeah. He's brilliant because Descendants is another brilliant film. It's a great movie. I actually think that's his best movie. I really liked it. I've seen that at least five times. I think George Clooney at the end saying goodbye.

it's one to his wife is one of the best pieces of acting I've ever seen. I agree. I think he's really great. Yeah. I did another movie with that guy that comes out in the fall with Alexander Payne, a movie called, uh, the holdovers that comes out in the fall. Yeah. And, uh, what's it, what's the, what it's about a kid who gets, um,

It's about what's that log line, please log line. I'm trying to think it's about a kid at a, at a prep school, at a boarding school in the seventies. Yeah. And he gets for Christmas vacation. He has to, he, he gets, he's the only kid who doesn't have anywhere to go on Christmas vacation. He has to stay at the school because his parents neglect him and don't care. Okay. And so the only people at the school are the woman who runs the cafeteria and the guy that

the faculty member who's been assigned to look after the kid, who's this fucking...

ass that nobody can stand and that's the guy i how old are you playing as this kid it's about the kid the kid is uh oh i thought you're playing a kid no no yeah no no he's playing the i'm playing the teacher the history teacher who has to look after the kid and that's what it's about and it's nice are you passive aggressive toward him or overtly mean or i'm aggressive towards him i'm aggressive towards him yeah he's kind of a passive aggressive kid and i'm aggressive aggressive

So do you just go for the comedy or do you think like, why is this guy so damaged that he's just going to beat up? Yeah. I mean, it's like, I feel like the comedy is there kind of anyway, because this guy is such a fuck up and so bizarre. And there's, I have a weird physical thing that's really bizarre. And so it's, it's, yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't think I'm that funny. So it's like, I just, I just try to just play the thing.

as it's supposed to be. You know, it's like, that's the only way I feel like I can be. I think those well-written things, well-directed things, they know what they're doing and you just know how it is and it works. I think that's why you make me laugh. I mean, I don't laugh at comedies as much because I know how the rabbit gets out of the hat. It's very rare for me to get surprised. But when a dramatic actor...

I like that term. I do like that, yeah. Yeah, we see all, oh, they're doing that. But sometimes a movie will hit, you know, like Tropic Thunder and stuff. There's one where you're kind of like, or the first Hangover, like, you know, there's a bunch. But most of the time I go to dramas and I laugh harder at a drama. How much did grownups do domestic? Dana. Was it under or over 200 million? You know what? Let's look at a clip.

What it was, was... No. What was the foreign boss job? What did you do overseas? We did go overseas to do press. And one city, one country.

Every night. Yeah. He probably done that junket. Yeah. It's kind of tough, but, uh, do people in particular countries really take to, to, to that? Well, I don't want to say I'm huge in Bulgaria, but I can't step foot. Adam has a big, uh, huge reach. No, he does because of, because Netflix, it helps. And, but you know, those, I think if they finally went on, um, from TBS to Netflix, that grownups movies, but it's,

It's just fun. I bring those up. I don't know why. We can talk about Police Academy 4. But I also have... What about Billions? Has Billions made Billions? That's my question. I think it did do well for the network. I think it did. Is it possible global syndication? Oh, sure. People love that all over the world. People love that show. Paul, in fairness, I watched Billions

The first one yesterday, right? So I'm not caught up on all 900. Yeah, that's okay. At least I wanted to know what this bullshit is all about. No offense. So I said, everyone, I'm kidding. What the bullshit is all about? No, no, no. I hear only good things. Don't criticize my Chuck Rhodes. No, I'm kidding. I only hear good things about Billions. So I go, I haven't seen it. I knew Malin Ackerman a little bit in the old days. So I said, let me just see this. And very cool, very gripping.

And your wife at the end stepping on you, I go, oh, I'm in on all these different angles. So I really did love it. No bullshit. And it was just fun to see. And now I feel like I'm missing out because there's so much catching up. There's so much catching up. That's why I have a hard time watching anything. If you miss the beginning. Knowing I'm going to have to stick with something makes it hard for me to even start something if it's new. But then having to go back, I just can't do it. I'm like, there's too much.

somebody was i've never seen a lot of these like i've never seen breaking bad i've never seen um some of these oh yeah you miss it i'd love to i've never seen the sopranos i'd love to but i'm like i can't it's just too too much well it's a 90 hour movie basically yeah it's so true much people like you know yesterday i had the day off i did uh 14 seasons of uh you know

Better call Saul. I go, what? Yeah, exactly. Is that a hundred hours? Yeah. Knocked it out. Yeah. I can't do that. You got to see Ozarks, man. It's only a 75 hour movie. But that, you know, the great thing is it's like a big bookstore. Billings is on the shelf.

It's going to be available for human beings for a long, long time. It'll always be there. And, uh, well, it's another one I don't want to find, but it's another one that your character is so, uh,

I don't know, rich. It's an intense guy. Damaged. Yeah. He's so human in his relationship. Maggie Siff and you have a beautiful thing. She's great. Plays my wife. Yeah. And it was so weird how close she was to the Damien Lewis character. Yeah. That's the grossest part. His character's wife is really into. It is really gross. It's like, yeah. But everything's so thought out because you go to that, to that, to that. And while you're seeing it play out.

the big house. It gets really, as it goes along, David, it gets really like the plots get really elaborate and it's all like double cross, triple cross, quadruple cross. It just gets really, really elaborate. So it turns into that kind of thing. Yeah. I didn't know what that title, I just didn't know really exactly what it would be about, but the intricacies just sort of hooked me on stuff that, uh,

I liked, so I sort of got into it. It wasn't, you know, some you watch and people fawn over them and you go, it just didn't click with me. I have that. Yeah. Oh yeah. I kind of clicked into it.

And thought, shit, I kind of am late. Well, the basic thing that they're following is that, well, you came from money, your character, and he's a district attorney in the beginning. And then it's really examining, is there this other game that billionaires are playing? I always feel like I have a little bit of stocks, but I know there's other people trading and selling.

or entities or BlackRock or whatever that are just playing a different game. We know that the AI has been picking their stuff. You just follow them. You're just like, they're like, you're... And the cat and mouse game between you and your nemesis. Yeah, the cat and mouse thing is interesting. Kind of who's worse and stuff like that. Is the billionaire worse than the politician? Is the politician worse? Yeah. Why do we worship these billionaires when really most of them are just assholes? And it's like, you know, why isn't the politician a better person than he, you know? Well, I'll ask you a question. Which billionaire...

And which politician would you like to have lunch with? I just, I turned into Larry King. I turned into Larry King. That's really interesting. David, you could. I'll say Elon Musk. Well, be Elon Musk for me because he does ketamine. He's so, he has rocket ships and he's so. I would say Elon Musk too because of the space stuff and the sort of like the kind of wackiness of that stuff. Yeah, probably. Politician, that's a really, I don't know. That's a tough one. It's scary. I don't want to know too much. I don't want to know. I don't really want to. I don't know. I really want to spend a hell of a lot of time.

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Well, currently, Bobby Kennedy Jr., I know he's, for a lot of people, he's kind of out there. But I find anyone who says, and you know, my uncle, JFK, and my dad, I mean, Bobby, so then I just want to hear, I just want to, and I also find him just very interesting because he's eccentric. I would say I might like to overhear a meal he's having. I don't know if I want to have a meal with him, but I'd be definitely interested in hearing because it's like...

It gets pretty, exactly. It sounds weird. He's got to work on that. I haven't really heard him talk, but everybody says his voice is really scratchy. He has, he has, which is rigidity on his vocal cords is a very, very tight voice, but you get, he's got that thing. And is that, but that's, is that like a psychosomatic thing? Is that like a, is that like a psychological thing? I have a brother who has it just that he has no,

control over his grip in one hand. Interesting. And did he over strain it or something? And then it happens? Or like, how's that happen? Because I knew a guy who had it. I think it's a brain, starts in the brain, but I'm not sure if it's, if there's a symbiotic relationship between...

or some reason you'd be predisposed, you know? I know a lot about science and medicine. So if you have any questions. No, I'm good with corner. I'm good with hard stuff. You should get on TikTok. Okay, there you go. Wait, I have a question. I know we got to let this guy go. I don't ever want this interview to get lost. I'm loving Paul. Can we hang out? Do you live in New York? I do live in New York. Yes, I live in Brooklyn. You live in New York? No.

No, but I go there all the time and I know where Times Square is, but yeah, you're so much... We can meet in Times Square then. We can meet at the Bennigans in Times Square. That's a good idea. Your father, I have this question, Dana. Here we go. Because interestingly enough, when he was...

I'm not reading this. Yes, I am. When he was commissioner, he is one of the band Pete Rose, right? From Betty? How interesting that he was there for six months, was it? I don't even know if he was there for that long. I mean, I think it was really brief. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. And now these days when gambling is so much a part of it, it's hard to stop it. It's like a dam break. I mean, it's like now it's just like getting caught for gambling, but they're sponsored by DraftKings. Is that true? Is that? I don't even know. I mean, is that true? Now it's like gambling. Wow.

They're like partners with NFL and stuff, but you're not allowed to- Crazy. It's getting very muddy. Super muddy. Super crazy. I didn't even- And I know Pete Rose is grinding his teeth, but- Yeah, probably. Oh, yeah. Because Pete Rose, that whole thing, because my grandma's from Cincinnati, so is my mom. Oh, really? So they were in love with him. Sure. Well, the idea where you would bet on the game and then you would perform in a way to win money, that was the problem, right? I guess so. You would bunt instead of going for a single or something.

If you bet on your own games, it's a problem. If you bet on your own game is different than betting on other games. Yeah. And I mean, I guess it goes back to the sort of scandal. The Reds, Boston, Reds, White Sox. The White Sox, right? And it was they were paid by mobsters to throw the game.

I mean, it was like, yeah. So I guess that's why it's particular was particularly like the worst thing. Any part of you miss mobsters in a way, just some about a mobster. Hey, that there are mobsters anymore. I think they're mobsters, but they're, they're well-dressed and they're at five stars.

Yeah, I guess so. They're all like, yeah, I do. I do a little bit. I do a little bit. I kind of do miss that. Have you played a mobster? I've not really. Not really. No. And it's funny because I am Italian American. Oh, yeah. And when I first got to New York, they would send me out.

on things just because you know you get you you've you've you've met you get to new york and you get an agent and they're like you're italian we'll just send this in yeah this is what you'd be good at yeah so i was constantly getting sent out for these things where i go in the waiting room and it was all these like 300 pound fucking guys from staten

all the guys who were on sopranos eventually it was all these guys and they're all sitting around and they're all just like and i'm like and i'm like kind of sitting there just like just out of the drama i'm like yes i'm from the yale school of drama and they're all just and i'm like i'm never gonna get these fucking parts do they have you go ahead but i but i

I wanted, and I would go in on things sometimes. I remember going in on a thing and it was for like a cop or something. And, and the, the woman kept saying to me, can you make it more Italian? Can you be more Italian? And I was like, I am Italian. What? And so I would keep doing it. And then I realized what she wanted was she wanted me to be like, Oh,

all that kind of stuff. And so I did that, but I still, let me, let me hear it. You mean like a New York Italian guy, like that guy? Yeah. Well, that kind of like, you know, you want, you want us, you welcome, you want me to welcome for you, Tony kind of shit, all that sort of stuff. Can you talk about that guy some more? Cause I love that guy. Let me ask you a question. Hey guy, hey, roughly. Well,

All those kind of guys like this. I love that shit, but I'm not going to do that. I could maybe now play an older... I could maybe now play kind of the older guy who's sort of sitting around playing dominoes. You know, he's got like the card table on the street. He's like kind of the Don in retirement kind of guy. Like maybe I could play...

Yeah, that guy is kind of like my sausage and peppers. Where's my sausage and peppers? It's a little bit of Regis Feldman creeping in there. Where's my sausage and pepper? I need it over here. Honest to God, it's the best sausage and pepper I ever had. Tom broke on it. He would have been brilliant as a kind of Irish mobster. Here's the Italian. If you ever do one again, you add the no at the end because I had a friend who would go, hey, this is good pasta, no?

That's good. That's a good trick. I knew a guy who would always say you'd ask him something and

And you'd say like, hey, that's a really great car. He'd go, watch this. I got that car. He'd say, watch this before he said anything. Yeah. You would always say, watch this. He'd go like, you'd say like, oh, this is just a speech is so good to go. Watch this. This is the best pizza I've ever had. Watch this every fucking time. I know. Instead, it says a guy says or he says he goes, he stands here.

He stands here. What are you doing over there? And I said, he stands here. He says, what the fuck is going on? What the fuck's going on? I go, I don't know what's going on. The guy comes home. He stands here. He says, where's my, where's my shoes? Where's my fucking shoes? Yeah. All those. I did see an Italian movie the other day and it was like a low rent one. And I was like, I think I'm finally tired of like,

The beaten down Italian wife and the guy and the wife beater coming in and going, hey, Frankie, how'd you do in school? I'm like, is it the same shit over and over again? I'm tired. I'm with you. I'm kind of tired of it. I'm tired of the kind of like, what are you, shut up! You want some of this? You want some of this? Yeah, yeah, totally. Your baby's

Hey, Paul, would you ever like to do prosthetics and an accent? I've done prosthetics. Which movie? I really like it. I did a Planet of the Apes movie where I was almost totally covered in prosthetics. And I was in a orangutan. I didn't want to offend. They made you a fucking orangutan. I probably saw it. No, I was pissed off because I wanted to be a gorilla. And I was going to be an albino gorilla. Yeah.

And then they ditched that idea. I was going to paint guys and I was going to be an albino gorilla. And then they ditched that idea because it was too expensive. It's a good orangutan suit. This is a good orangutan. I got pink eye for free at a strip club. Yeah. You were an orangutan, but you didn't get

nominated for that. So I did that. And actually in Man on the Moon, I did Tony Clifton briefly and one part of it, but I've done it in other things too. I wore a lot of them in John Adams. But Gary Oldman in Churchill, what about you? That would be great, but he was completely, almost completely covered in that stuff. So John Adams had prosthetics on? As it got older. As it got older.

As he got older. As he got older. Yeah, as he got older. And I think I've done it in other things. I can't remember now, but I've done it. Yeah. I do like it. I really like it. I really like doing it. Hey, watch this. He really likes doing it. Watch this. Watch this. He likes to wear. Watch this. He's got a fucking rubber nose on. Now you got Trump coming in. Hey, watch this. You're wearing a. Yeah, he's got. He's standing with a fucking nose on. Right. Yeah. I love it.

I would love to do something. It'll never happen. I don't think that I'd love to do prosthetics and just be invisible and then, and then just get ready for my Oscar.

Right. Right. Hey, you just put a nose on you're halfway there or, you know, I can actually just a nose can really make you look different. It's crazy. Yeah. Just the nose. Nicole Kidman for Virginia Wolf. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, I know movies. You didn't think I know movies. You didn't think I know movies. I'm bringing up from the cold fucking. Watch this.

Virginia Woolf. Watch this. How'd the podcast go? You know, it was great. You know, he stands here, you know, Paul Giamatti, he stands here, he goes like this. He stands here. He stands here. It made no sense. What about Not For Nothing? That drives me crazy. Not For Nothing's a good one too. Not For Nothing. Yeah, Not For Nothing's a good one.

Yeah. Let's let Paul go. He's been, he's been very good to us. Chin wag. Yes, sir. It's a new podcast. It's been a couple months. Hey, chin wag. That's a good show. No. Yes, it is. It's all about supernatural ghosts. I'll just do this. It's so bad. You're you're have this, I think.

30 coins coming out on HBO Max. Oh, yeah. That's on HBO Max. And you play a century kooky... Billionaire. I play a crazy cult leader billionaire. So all your parts now have a billionaire in it. Yeah, probably. Either you or them. Yes. And now you've got Cary Stoll. He's your new kind of billionaire. Yep. My rival. So 30 coins on HBO Max. He's got the podcast, Chinwagon. What about the movie about the school? Billionaires. When does...

Millions is on in August, I think. The last season. And then the school. That's right. This movie, The Holdovers, is in the fall. It's like Thanksgiving or something. Let me tell you something. You got more pots than a fucking auto factory. Not for nothing. The film is going to show. You got more rolls than a bakery.

Sausage and peppers. Watch this. Watch this. Anyway. All right. Thanks, Paul. Pleasure, Paul. Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. We enjoyed it. It was awesome. Thank you very much, guys. Thank you. Bye. This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks.

Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.