Please Don't Destroy
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You know who's hilarious? It's Jim Gaffigan. Jim Gaffigan. The guy is a machine. He's made 11 specials. I guess this will be number 12 for, and I'll say it, comedy legend, Jim Gaffigan. Jim Gaffigan the skinny, now streaming on Hulu. Hey, listen, it's a hilarious new stand-up on Hulu.

In this all-new hour of comedy, you'll see Jim in a whole new light as he gives you the inside scoop on everything from parenting teenagers and gaslighting family members to weight loss and social media in Hulu's very first stand-up comedy special. Really? Wow. I did not know that. I did not know that. Is that weird? Is that wild stuff?

Come shed some existential weight and raise a glass with the hilarious event for one of America's most iconic and relatable comics. Whether you're gathered together with family and friends or need a break from them, everyone needs a happy hour. And who better to give it to you than everybody's favorite comedian, Jim Gaffigan. See the hilarious new standup special. Jim Gaffigan, the skinny now streaming on Hulu. There's a movie I'm watching right this moment.

that you have seen that I'm really digging. It's called Saturday Night. Now listen, we were both on Saturday Night Live. It's about the first episode. I didn't really know what it would be exactly. And it's really sharp. It shows where everything went wrong. I didn't know 99% of this stuff. I actually recognize people in there that were still working

Herb Sargent. Is it Audrey Perdickman? Is she in there? Yeah, she was in there in that time. This thing has got quick lines, a lot of funny throwaway lines. Yeah.

And you get to meet every important character that they didn't know it. That was the last night they were not famous. That was very interesting to me. It shows you what a wild ride they took on that first show. It barely gets on the air. The cast is maybe smoking funny cigarettes. It's a looser, weirder environment. It's all done in a set that looks like 8-H.

It gave me goosebumps. It teared me up. It's very emotional. Sure. And when you think about it, good Lord, it's still on now. Critics love it. They say it's wildly entertaining. One of the best movies of the year. Certified fresh to cast, you know, Dylan O'Brien, Willem Dafoe, I love, of course, J.K. Simmons, Lamorne Morris, Gabrielle LaBelle, Finn Wolfhard, Corey Michael Smith, Kaya Gerber, Nicholas Braun.

So, you know, grab some buddies. If people, they know SNL, they don't know it. You can, this is how it all started. And by the way, and by the way, and guess what? They're all playing, you know, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, you know, Garrett Morris and so forth and so on. And J.K. Simmons does a hilarious cameo as Milton Berle. Yeah.

There's Johnny Carson calls them. It's crazy. Johnny Carson calls them. Yeah. That was crazy. Yeah. I can't believe a kid. Get your shit together. We're always looking for punch up guys when this collapses. It's available to buy or rent on digital now. It's rated R. Saturday night. We have the please don't destroy team.

on the show today. Team, please don't destroy guys. You like guys better? Well, what is that? Okay, we got to start over. I like it. No, it's better. It's please don't destroy, period. But you could add guys or team, right? No, we have the guys from please don't destroy. We have the guys from please don't destroy. And this, no pun intended, this podcast is going to blow your mind.

It's going to reorientate your, I'm trying to, please don't just say it's going to destroy you. They are the guys that are three dudes on SNL that only do, I think they only do the videos. They do a video probably once a week. Sometimes it gets kicked just to online after the show, if it goes too long, which we joke about.

but they're always high quality and they're always funny. And so we thought this is turning into a big part of the show and an important part. And it's always been with the videos from Tom Schiller and,

to Sandberg, to people adding video. It's a great element of the show. Yeah. And they're just fun little short films. They've got Taylor Swift in some of them and all these different, uh, Travis Kelsey. Yeah. People like to jump in them. And, a lot of the, a lot of the hosts will jump in on them, even though it's a fucking beating. Yeah.

I'd like to be there and then they go, okay, you do read through Wednesday. Then you're going to do an 18 hour shoot on Thursday. Yeah. You go all night Friday and then get two hours sleep and then get ready for the show. It's fantastic. For the live show. That matters. These guys are funny. They're sweet. Yeah. They also write for this show. Anyway, they're very talented. They're very bright. And they use cast members, but they'll tell you. Very cool dudes. And there's five of us total on this show.

Right. Chatter today. So just try to pay attention and just know that if someone's talking, it's probably me and Dana. Yes. And we did, we were at our over-talk meter. I checked it afterwards was, was trending. It was right. Red line a little bit, a couple of times, but they were fun and easy to talk to. All right. Here they are. Please don't destroy.

Are you guys really friends? I mean, in real life, or are you just kind of like business partners? Yeah, kind of more like that, like co-workers. Like associates and colleagues? Yeah, exactly. I am so excited for this, you guys. It's already on, so keep talking. Feel free to ask questions. John is joining us today. I guess his bandmates, Ben and Martin, couldn't make it. He said they always do it in order of importance, so he goes on for a while.

And then one of the other guys jumps on. Well, you're, you're still, you're on SNL now. So you can ask us a lot of questions going forward, even though, you know, I'm just saying. No, you guys are on SNL. I'm not. I used to be John ask your dad. I was there a long time ago. I really made it. He said, I didn't make a dent in the show. I made a ding like where if you got an accident, they go, just go ahead.

It's not enough to even, no one noticed. Just go. What's more important, a few years on SNL or 40 years of post-SNL where you're doing a lot better than you did on SNL? Do you want to peak in 93 like I did? I mean, come on, man. I've been dying out on three catchphrases for over a half century. I will bring it out. Ben woke up for this. That's nice. It's like 5 p.m. in New York.

And Martin's trying to log in. Okay, well, they're here, man. Fuck yeah. I want to ask you guys a quick question. Please don't destroy. If it wasn't that, what were the alts? What didn't make it? Because I have a couple ideas, but I'll let you guys go. We have Beatles 2.

We have... What else do we have? I remember you guys genuinely wanted to call the group Three Stinkers. Yeah, we did. Three Little Stinkers. Three Little Stinkers. Beatles and the Dung.

I had this is a these are horrible. The Cupcake Trilogy. Oh, hey, that's not bad. Higgins, Hurley, et cetera. We we be the exploding guys. We be guys. I'd say they were good. Three and three words is good.

No, please don't destroy is the one. Do you like that name? Please don't destroy? Yeah. Yeah. Because I have a special I'm doing and I thought of maybe potential spam. It's kind of one of those things that people just know in the world, like a little saying, please don't destroy. That's a great one.

And no one ever gets it right. Well, I said it wrong today. How did they ruin it? What do they say? Please don't disturb. Okay. Oh, yeah. Do not disturb. Do not disturb. Might be better. Yeah.

All right, let me just stop. Casually. Yeah, that one's done. I like that. Hey, man, are we part of a press junket? Are you doing eight today promoting something or is this sort of a one off? No way. This is it, man. Okay. All right. Let me mark that down as wrong. This is Tyson Paul. This is the main event, guys. Yeah, bingo. I love that fight. What a rocking fight. Dude, Tyson gave it almost everything.

Well, nothing, but that's okay. I like when people send me, here's a live scene of the Tyson Paul fight and his two cats going, tapping each other. And I'm like, exactly. Jost had a great joke on update of they teamed up against the audience. That was it. That was the quintessential. My problem is they say it's not really, the fight wasn't really,

A real fight sanctioned fight. It was just for entertainment. I'm like, but it wasn't entertainment either. So I'm suing for that. But it was sanctioned. It goes on Tyson's record. Why would he do that?

He says, what does he care about his legacy? I'll be dead. I don't even care. I started doing Lennox. I'm on mushrooms. I was really fighting them hard, but I don't care what happens. What about legacy? Sorry. Tyson has to go to the bathroom. Was that when he was talking? What was the video that you sent, Benny? He was talking about the little girl?

Oh yeah. There's a little girl standing there. Like a 12 year old girl. And he was like, we're all going to die one day. We're all dust. She's like, do you eat dino nuggets?

My dad used to think, well, he was nice after the fight, but he was mostly, he'd be really, when it's heyday, he'd be like, I'm going to kill you. I hit you so hard, your family's going to be hurt, and I'm going to kill you. And after the fight, he'd beat the hell out of the guy and go, I really like you. I think you're a tremendous fighter. I'd like to knit you a sweater. Anyway. By the way, this airs in 2027, so we don't need to talk about it too much. On the Jay Leno show in 1995, I'm out of ammo. What about rock, paper, scissors for you guys?

Was that one? Is this a name? Was that a name? I thought we were over that. No, I thought that was, that was so two minutes ago. I wrote down 40 minutes for this. So I don't know. He's got the best lighting he's ever had on the podcast and he's a little different. And it's not that good. I kind of am red. No. Do you got a ring light going? I, I don't have that kind of money, but I have, I just have, I have the top lights from my ceiling on.

Okay. I'm doing pretty good. So you guys... Dana, are you in New York? No, I flew back to...

LA. Then I'm going up to a place in the mountains. This guy's digging deep. I've been running past these guys in the hallway for the last two months. What's up? How you doing? Standing around. They're like, doing Biden this week? As you dressed as Biden, you're like, yeah. My contract says seven Bidens. That's

You'll do seven. They might all be in the same show. We might throw one on. I have four catchphrases and I rotate them. That's all I do. I just click them off, look confused, and then ask Lauren for my paycheck. It's so good. Thank you. I saw the one last week that

That was scary. I hate to say you should change the name to We Got Cut, but what is the... Cut for time. Cut for time. Cut for time. Because you guys have... Please don't cut. Please don't cut.

But it seems like everyone sees it anyway. I mean, it doesn't even matter anymore, but that, that, uh, I liked it. What was the last one? Oh, Charlie X, CX, XX. I'd like to buy a vowel. She was in it and she had, uh, she had a lot to do. That would have been good in the video. Oh yeah. That's funny. Like to buy a vowel. He had a lot, he had a lot of jokes in that. I mean, it was more like tons of jokes and she'd got, you, you shoveled her with a lot of jokes. So she did a good job. It's always good if the host,

gets to score. Yeah. Yeah. She was awesome. And that, when did, who, when did you just, when did you know you were going to fly down the stairs at the end? Cause I, I'm always curious about endings. Like, so that was like a perfect, and were those stunt guys or you guys, were they stunt stairs or stunt people? You're kind of young and springy.

No, those were stunt guys. That was after Rewrite Table, I think. I think we had something in there that didn't work at Table, so we were like, maybe we go down the stairs? We all just said bye. Yeah. Bye, Charlie. When we don't know how to end a sketch, that's what we do for Table Read.

You should probably go, okay, bye. Then Lorne looks up and goes, we'll find something there. And then he turns it, Wayne's World 2, cold opening. Hey man, the 50th, we don't know who's coming back. Some cobwebs are coming. Hi, we're the cobwebs. We're here to pump you up. Yeah, believe me, we are shameless. But so who's your, like Dan,

Bula, is he? Who do you talk to? Who do you talk to there about what you're thinking of doing? You have to go in and meet the Wizard of Oz. Do you pitch ideas anymore or just do them? Just do them at read-through. Yeah, we do them at read-through. We have the Monday pitch in Lorne's office still, but everyone does a fake idea.

Yeah. Okay. Your ideas probably just sound fake. Yeah. Yeah, they do. Oh, they're not really doing that. That was one of their goofball ideas. This, this video that we just did was maybe the first Monday pitch that we actually turned into a video. That was my pitch on Monday. Oh yeah. So what was that? So what did you say in like 20 seconds? We're just going to have a rave off, but you need to host time, which is very precious. Yeah.

Well, I just pitched the first turn of it. So I was like, maybe it's a romantic comedy where you run into a guy and you're like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. This is so crazy. But would you ever want to watch where the fuck you're going? I love it. Yeah. Laughter, big laughter ensued. You guys, I didn't hear any from you guys, but I thought it was good. This is me laughing.

Dana just texted me. Don't laugh anything they say. You know, a lot of times comedians, when they hear their friend, you start thinking of how to tag that. When your friend says, maybe that's a please not destroy sketch, or please don't destroy. When we're writing, it's like people always ask, like, are you guys just cracking up? And it's like, never.

That's what they think. Okay. Now what goes after that? What goes after that? How stoned were you when you came up with that idea? So three months ago when Charlie X Charlie hosted you guys, cause we're figuring out the air date now. Yeah. Early 26. So she, she, she's in the money meeting. You throw this into the pitches and then when it involves the host,

and she's got X amount of time during the week, when do you get her? If they, they have to okay it right away? You have to start figuring out the sets and shit. We had to write it for the Wednesday read-through and then that night they greenlit it. But we shot it on Thursday night, like all night. So,

So we were shooting. What a fucking drag. Yeah, we had rewrite table all day from like 1230 to nine. And then from nine to like 6 a.m. We were shooting our video. Oh, really? For nine hours, practically? Well, rewrite table on Thursdays is fucking horrible. Oh, OK. You were rewriting all the other people's. Oh, everything. Yeah, not just that. That's the thing people understand. You guys are writers.

writers on the show yeah and writers on the show i that's what i thought that's good you guys are on fire i have another name for your thing leave at gate these are horrible here's a question have you ever seriously said to each other hey get out of my face dude

Like, serious. Not part of a sketch. Yeah. Like, real. Get out of my face, dude. Who's been the most mad at who? Ha ha ha!

Because I've said that to Spade every other day. Just get out of my face. Get out of my grill. Yeah. Don't get up and get in my grill. So anyway. No answer. Noted. Yeah. I mean, we've had some blowouts. There we go. We are trending. We are trending right now.

I have a sense of gratitude when it comes to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the holidays. I don't know about you, Dana. I do too. I think that's what, because you know, the word thanks is a total giveaway. It's right in there. Yeah. It's a giveaway. Yeah, it's a giveaway if it was called watch out for yourself time holiday. Selfish giving. Yeah. Listen, we get together Thanksgiving day.

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And a lot of languages, you know, I don't know what they're saying. I'm like with Rosetta Stone, you've got a tool in your hand that is probably the best way to learn a language going right now. You know, this world is getting more mixed every day. It's not bad to know something you could learn. They pretty much will teach you anything Spanish, French,

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Now, two of you have parents that are writers, Dana. You did not know this, but parents are writers. Do you have to free pitch them before the pitch meeting? Our dads come up with the majority of our ideas for sure. But besides that, you have to know that that's sarcasm. Do they pitch you an idea and you have to say no and it's horrifyingly awkward?

It's not that awkward. My dad pitches a lot of jokes for us. Okay. But it's not that. What about overall? Just here's an idea for you guys for a whole thing, whole concept.

No, they stay in their own lane. You call each other's dad, dad. Yeah. Like, no. Like just dad. I call Dana dad. Yeah. I call everybody dad. That's just respect. Yeah. Exactly. When I got to the show, Dana was there and he was like fucking crushing it. Number one guy. And we all had to call him dad.

You know what, David? I don't even know if it's based off of my dad, but in middle school, I would flirt with girls by saying, you know, David Spade's character in Grown Ups is named Higgins. You know, that's great. That's fantastic. I don't even know if it did not work. No, but here's the I don't even know if it's based off of dad.

I don't know either. I didn't read the whole script, but I do know that. No, I might have been Sandler's. I know Sandler's hometown boys growing up. One was Laman Slough. There was a really complicated name. I'm like, that has to be one of your friends. And we met some of the guys, but it might have been a Higgins there, but it could have easily been you guys because people yell Higgins to me in the airport. Like I can remember what,

movie I was even in. And they're like, are you talking to me? Yeah. Are you Higgins? They think I'm real, like a real person. Are you Higgins? Are you in the closet with a dog? I'm like, oh, that was a movie.

But it's fine. I'll take any praise. When I came here through the airport, this isn't funny, but interesting. Dad comes up with a six and an eight-year-old boy, girl, really sweet, cute. They are just huge fans of your Joe Biden impression. Six years old. Because it goes on at 830, I guess, in the West Coast. They just think it's some funny old man. Anyway, that's our airport chunk. When do you get word...

if you're in the show and you tape it, edit it, cut it, because that sounds like a really unusually crazy schedule because not just a sketch you have to put on his feet. You have to get a set, then dress it, and then you've got to get wardrobe, and then you've got to cram lines. Charlie, bless her heart, she has to cram lines for that. And then do it all night when she has to rehearse the next day. It's the hardest week of her life. And then you...

throw it in a dress and then you you it might make it to air but it also you don't know if it's going to make it all the way on air right yeah like the the tapes are always a lot of the times it's like you it's easier i think to just cut a tape for time because you don't have to get rid of the whole set and the whatever so they're kind of the first to go after update once the show's going long

Once people are milking their sketches. A lot of stuff is cut for time. It really, when you're there, like a lot of sketches. Was it always like this, Dana being back of the, like you're 30 minutes over going into dress or did you guys have it closer to. We had some, there were sketches cut. It seems like more now is my, what I'm thinking, but yeah. Cut for time. Dress was always long.

And then air was supposed to be pretty close. Well, then you cut the show down. And then what I do with Gaffigan and stuff, we get together and go, let's just fucking milk the cold opening. Push the show really long. Sit back with an ice cold beer and just laugh at the cut for time, guys. I shouldn't have said that, but Gaffigan's like that. But anyway, no, I think it is a little longer or maybe sketches are playing longer. But yeah, there seems like there's at least two or three cut each week.

When you and James went off cards at dress this past week, that was so funny. Yeah. David was the best man. Why?

Why can't we do that on air? You know, because it's all make-believe. And all of a sudden, I stepped on his line and we got all tangled up. It was so funny. It was right before the live from New York, too. Yeah. Went off on this whole run and had to, like, reset right to that. Yeah. But you found your way back. Everyone's, like, waiting to run. I did say, is this Tresor Air? I think I stayed in Biden. Is this Tresor Air? Yeah.

I don't know. I thought Lauren was going to scold me on that one, but instead he went, you look like you're reading off cards. And I said, because I was. Mike normally has 19 words and now I got a half page of exposition. Anyway. Report to the spanking machine.

The spanking machine. That's not a bad name. Do they still have that? The spanking machine. Yeah, I used to go stand by it. Do you guys want to talk at all? Because David and I, I'm getting just a routine cholesterol blood test. So I haven't eaten in like 19 hours. So I'm a little punchy. But do you guys have any questions for us or things you want to say? Any statements you'd like to read? How much money do you have in your bank account?

combined that's dana's question just cash on hand liquidity are we talking about property i'm talking fucking assets i'm talking real estate i'll write it down and i'll just hold it up at the end of the podcast it's a scroll people on youtube can check in and guess uh one of you is herlihy's kid

Yeah, that's me. Who's going to admit it? Check the name. It's Martin Hurley. It doesn't say his last name, but I would say it's you because you're the only one without a last name. But I was friends with your dad. Obviously, we had a big falling out. He picked Sandler over me, which was sort of an easy one. But you're really the Hurley boy. That's what I was getting at. Yeah.

There was a sketch, Dana, when you were there. I would just do what I did normally before update and I'd go home. But what was it? The Hurley boy that was called in San, it was Sandler and Farley, right? Yeah. And that must be fun. You're, you can say it's,

Named after you. That's more believable than the Higgins bullshit he was given earlier. Come on. Ben, Ben, do you have any connection to show business, like even a cousin or anything? No, I don't. Okay. All right. Pete Davidson, your dad. I'll adopt you legally. Please. I watched your Taylor Swift one. I have watched over. It's hard for me to just say each one because they come week to week.

They're all the same. No, no, they're all really good. I have to say is that they're all very clever. There are, I mean, a year ago I was saying, Oh shit, these are so funny. If I'm ever in town, I want to go try to worm into one because they're so clever. They're funny. They're, they don't look that easy, but they're just good, different things. And it's so hard to stand out on a sketch show. That's been on fucking 50 years to get anything slightly different. Cause they're so, they're great. You get good people and you give them something to do. And,

I've listened to every episode of this podcast. Oh, you listen to this dog shit? Good job. Everyone? Thank you. Yeah, I listen to everyone. I love it. I mean, like, the biggest SNL nerd fan, so that means a lot. Yeah, we're massive, massive fans of you guys, we should say.

That's what I was getting at. Thank you. Well, when I look at your stuff, I just feel envious. Like, yeah, like it's such like so much fun. Nothing was happening like that on our, you know, it is fun. We get to shoot them pretty quick too sometimes because they're like, especially the office ones. We can do those Thursday nights where they don't go until six o'clock in the morning. So sometimes we can bust them out in like four hours or whatever. And it's just,

Who do you reach out to to get a celebrity that's not the host? Do you have the talent department? Yeah. You say, hey, can you grab us this person? The talent department helps you get talent. We need a yes or no ASAP. Yeah. Then you go type in their name in the script and then you change it to someone else and then send it down. Yeah, I accidentally sent it with Robert. Wait, who's Robert De Niro? Yeah. So...

Is this true? Like the first one was Pete Davidson and Taylor Swift. Is that your first one? No, no, that was just us three in the office. And it aired on the Kim Kardashian episode, but she, she had nothing to do with it. Yeah. Okay. And then you didn't put her in it. You were shot later. We shot it secretly.

Oh, that was with the walking around with the, yeah. The hard seltzer one. We shot it on a Monday with our friend, Paul Berganti, who used to be a director there. And we just had like two cameras, a prop guy and a sound guy. So it's nice that you, it does well. So now over time they must build up trust with you guys. So now a little eyes are on you less and more like, what do we have this week? And then do you have to show the final, uh,

to anyone before it goes undress? - The producers, look, Eric Kenward will watch everything before it goes. - Everyone's busier than shit, obviously, but you try to go, hey, can you just check it? And they give you maybe last second trims or notes, anything before it pops undress, okay. - Yeah, for sure. He's always really helpful. We'll normally come to him with questions, like is this working or whatever.

Well, they move so fast. Good laughs, get out cuts. It's like just that you have the doctor in the one on the Taylor Swift and you go, Hey, that's my real, but it's just funny to get, I go, got a doctor set and an outfit for a fucking cutaway. It's just seems expensive and hard, but always feels worth it to me. When did you get out of the room? You know, you were doing them in the, just in the office for a while. And then you got out of the room. And then when I was there, you did the, uh,

the helicopter set, which was like, it played really big. I guess you did it at 66th street in there, but yeah, it was very, very cool. The consistency of how excellent they are is very high to me. So I just want you guys to understand that you're like, you're a smash. I mean, I hope you know that. I, I, I don't know. We do. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you know it? Do you know it? Because it's hard to do comedy. It's hard to nail it. Coming up with ideas that are consistently good. There's just, I don't, you know, that aren't clanking and not quite there. And there's just this high, high percentage of, of winning. And so I'm just curious about a lot.

I don't know. It's not just me. Hey, look at the YouTube counts, you know, cut for time. It's three million. You know what I mean? I mean, you got your highest one was 17 million. So and there goes something like that because, you know, exactly. It is pulled up on my phone. Something like that. No, I'm pulling it. Yeah.

David, you know... I think we first... Oh, yeah. Go ahead, John. I was going to say a joke that I like when David does it on talk shows. When he goes, I was leaving my house, mansion, whatever.

Listen, 44 windows, three pantries, whatever. These are other people. I don't know what it's called these days. Yeah, I don't know. House, whatever. Apartment. The West Wing that has seven bedrooms has never been inhabited. You just go walk by door after door. It's incredible. Yeah. I have Dana come over. I have a door that's like 90 feet high. I'm like, I like to do cardio. So I run laps around his house, you know.

About 20 minutes. I got lost one time. I don't know. What do you guys want to talk about? Did we answer your question? No. We haven't answered anything. And I think Martin said one word, which is fine. Which might be a podcast record. David and I, we're just punchy. We want you guys to talk. All NYU guys, where do we meet? That's a good one. Mm-hmm.

So you just all nodded. Great. Anyway, what else is going on? Thank you very much. Okay, wait, now let's go back and answer it. Yes. When did we get out of the office? The Taylor Swift video? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I will say the budget that the film unit has can be pretty ridiculous. And I feel like somebody's going to notice it and

And then be like, there's no reason this should be happening. Bye. After the hype of the 50th, they're going to start looking at the books and going, what the fuck is going on over here? I've heard a lot about the budgeting and it's quite surprising, not only with you, but with other people. We actually, we actually, for a lot of ours costs nothing and compare, especially those office videos. It's usually our money's on, you know,

big sandwiches or whatever our prop is that week that we're cutting. When you do not to focus on Taylor Swift, but when you do that bit, it's with Pete. So it's fine. It's already funny. Do you say, Hey, we should have someone coming at the end or was the idea always someone coming at the end? We just don't know who, you know, you know, who pushed it was Dan Bola was like, dudes, we could just ask her and I'll record a thing and show it to her.

That'll sound awesome for her part in the video. And we were like, we had truly zero expectations that she would do it. You know, it was our third video or whatever. And then Bulla put together her part in the song, like as a demo, and it sounded so awesome. And Taylor, we showed it to her, loved the bit, was just like, let's do it. And we were...

Shocked. Sweetheart. That's very nice because she scores too. You know, it's like, yeah, it's smart if you're a big star and you wait and make moves that are like that. They're like, that's a little nugget score. Get out. It's kind of, it was perfect for that. Yeah. He's so good at it. It's the lesson that you learn every week is if the host is scoring, you're likely to make the thing, you know what I mean? Cause it's, and it's so easy to not like,

Think about them as the main character or whatever, because it's your bit, but you kind of have to. Yeah. Do you guys kind of co-direct it yourselves and have a official director or is it kind of like that? Obviously you're chiming in and because I watched the Travis Kelsey one and I thought it was just so crazy funny. It hit me hard. Thanks.

Because the way when you fell and your eyes were still open like you're instantly probably dead. And then the ending with the old lady and the Russian roulette and everything. It's just like perfect. Some of these are just like super gems. We put that woman in like five or six sketches now. Marnie. Shout out to Marnie. We put her in every live sketch that we like. You made her a feature player on your thing. She's instantly funny.

And instantly, yeah. Was she in Andy Samberg's video as well? There was a... No, that's a different... A different woman on that interview. Dana! Touchy, touchy. Sorry! Sore subs, sore subs. Uh-oh, note to self. Yes, to answer your question, Tim Wilkheim directs our stuff, who's awesome.

But we all chip in and give notes and help out. But just want to give him credit. Is Martin a screamer on the set? Yeah. What the fuck? Meltdown City. I'm surprised Martin even has his lines. What the fuck, man? They're like, Martin, you have to talk in this one. Does it play here or here? Come on, make a choice, dude. Push in. Fuck me.

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So you guys also tour, right? Yeah. A little bit. Are you going out next summer or what are you, what's, what's that like going out? Cause you're doing all this and then all of a sudden you have all these thousands of people screaming. I mean, what was that must've been? What is your show like? Yeah. What do you do? Is it funny?

Is it fun? It's a drama. It's a drama, I would say, yeah. And it's pretty tragic. But the first time you went out and the crowd went crazy, it must have been like pinching yourself. Last summer, we went on like a 30-city tour. I can't believe there's this many people in a Jimmy John's.

So wherever you play, I don't know. I don't know what the Jimmy John's Jimmy John's arena. Yeah, it was, um, I just backfired on me. Fuck. I'll say, go ahead, Ben. I'm sorry. Um, no, it was, it was cool. Our show is like, it's a sketch show, but we don't do like costumes or props really. So it's kind of like half standup half sketch. Cause we're like talking directly to the audience, but then we'll be like, all right, now we're in a coffee shop and then do a sketch. Um,

And it's like the most fun thing we do. I hope we do it again this summer. Yeah. We filmed a bunch of our shows last summer and we might, we're like cutting together a little special. Would you ever team up with like Sarah squirm and go out? No. Okay. Sarah squirm. David, another joke. You gave Sarah a big joke or silica, silica gel pack. She loves that one.

I thought she just used it in front of me to make me feel better. I love that. She's kept it everywhere too. Yeah. She's so bananas. I didn't really know her and we went on that tour and, uh,

She was she's very first of all, she's very likable, very fun to talk to backstage because Sam, that slug over there getting massages being covered in gold coins. And so but Sarah warming up and then Sarah was funny and then she gets up and her act is so bananas. And I was like, this is so funny because no one knows what to expect at all. Plus, she was newer on the show. Now she's been there for a while.

But I see clips from her on tour in the summer. It's so funny. And it's so hard. I'm like, Sarah, do you know what you're getting into? Like doing all these cities like you guys, you know, you work hard, but then it is a bit of a trudge to go on tour. If you guys line up a few, it's more fun. You're together, but it's still, it's still tough, right? It's, it was, it was hard, but we don't do the, the, she does a lot of hiatuses during the season goes out, which feels like,

Our hiatus is we'll write a bunch of shit and whatever and work hard on other stuff. But the idea of traveling right away to go hit four cities in a row feels like... Tuscaloosa. She's one of our best friends with the show, though. We would totally pull up with Sarah to do a tour. Yeah, we came in at the same time and just immediately hit it off and started writing with her every week.

She's the best. Yeah. Matt Gates. Gates. His name was fucking terrifying. It was insanely scary. It's like this. Oh,

All those makeup guys are Star Trek fans and all kind of. Yeah. He definitely had it. And when she would put her chin down and do that little smile, it was it was it was bonkers. She looked like Jack Nicholson. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like that was a look that she could have just that has to come back. I mean, yeah, it doesn't even.

how funny she is in that. Do you guys do vids when you're out there? Is it too much hassle to bring a screen and all that shit? Well, you recorded all your shows last summer or no? Yeah, we recorded a bunch. My wife is cutting together a special right now. Oh, okay. That's a nice wife. Yeah. Are you a professional editor or is she a scale editor?

Scale plus 10. Yeah, scale. Hey, you're new, you get scale. That's good. That's actually good. Just watch some tutorials and get this special going. Get on YouTube. How to do a special. I'm just curious, what was the lighting kit or the crew like if you're going to do those shows? Like how much...

hassle was it three cameras lots of light or was it really kind of lo-fi or we really didn't prepare to do it so we we would hire local crews to be like maybe this is a good place to film it and then we would get embarrassed about whatever show we filmed and we're like let's just film it again somewhere else because that's the beauty of that if you can do that it's great because you're gonna hit a fucking winner like

Adam, when he went out and did all these shows, he would just keep filming them. That's the beauty of being big budget. You just go film another one, film us on the plane, film us backstage. He could add 10 specials with that. It's kind of like that model of cutting around to different cities and then doing backstage bits. It's like a combination of Zach Galifianakis and Sandler's special. Smart List guys did that. You're going to get something.

You know, if you're just bullshitting or laughing, there's something backstage. Even if you get a minute after the whole night backstage and then you get your stuff on stage and you get something on, I don't know if you have a bus or a fly around.

It's always hard to get the crew on Southwest to start rolling, but I remember I'm bummed out. Get me here when I asked for my water. I think there's something there. Oh, it's funny. It's funny. It's so nothing. It's just funny. Are you? Did you, did you, you just released a special, right? David.

I'm glad you just got my text. Yes, we are. Oh, here we go. Yeah. Dana, you might want to go get a coffee. I can't. I'm getting a blood test. Oh, yeah, I can't. You shouldn't even drink water. Can't write you out water. I don't know. Tell us your story.

I did a special for an unknown streamer. Why we can't say, I don't know, but there's only that many Pluto. Yeah. I don't tell you cause it's the worst one. It's TV. Blippi. One of these is a fake name. Goo goo. Flumbo. Beep bop boop. Okay. So I did it and, uh, I'm, I'm editing and I will tell you, Dana, I was editing yesterday and, uh,

I hate watching it, so I keep putting it off. And then I watch it and I go, I think I'm bombing. So I'm here with Heather going,

I might cut that whole bit. I think it did good. I had a good crowd, you know? And so, so I keep doing this and then I, I'm almost done. I go, I'm too sickened by watching my act. Then I talked to the guy and he goes, Oh, you got the line cut. Yeah. So yeah, don't worry about that. You know, we didn't put the laughs in from the audience yet. I go, what are you fucking talking about? What am I watching? Just me bomb. And he's like, Oh, well, you know what worked. I'm like, no, my,

I was discombobulated. You had that too? Yeah. We're the same thing. We watched it with the laughs mixed way down and it's just the most horrible feeling. Oh my God, you did that? It was so sad. I go, turn it off. Yeah, it's horrible because also you realize that there are laughs there, but to you, it looks like you're milking a thing. Oh, I'm just dying. I'm like, I saw people watching with me going, I'd cut that. That feels like it's got like a dead spot. I'm like...

Yeah. I mean, it's the middle of my joke. Why is there a dead spot? They're like, oh, did you want the one where people are enjoying and laughing and then you'll know which one's working? I'm like, oh, my God, that one. They're like, oh, sure. We can send that over. Why do they mix it down when I don't? I wasn't even in. I go technical reason. I don't know. I don't know.

Ask your wife what's going on. Dana, you got a funny thing too about editing a special where you watched it like 12 feet away so you wouldn't focus on how you look.

Which I think is really hard. Yeah, they push it too tight. Like you put a laptop way far away for your first watch down of it. Oh yeah, almost anything. Just so you can hear it. I only saw Chopped and Broccoli two weeks ago for the first time. Are you serious? I have a hard time watching myself. I just do self-critical. So yeah, I get it really small, get it way far away and kind of squint. And then turn it off. Turn the mute down. Yeah.

When I was your guy's age, it wasn't as problematic. Wikipedia me. When you get to this age, you're like, really? Why am I even on camera? No, if you see yourself on camera, it's so gross. Also, just seeing dead spots, I go, I can't. I go, well, I have to rethink what I'm cutting because I was going to make a 12-minute special. I go, these aren't. They're like, oh, no. Because I was there. I'm like, what?

I had a good show. It was in Denver. Anyway, it doesn't come out until April, but I'll text all you guys. We got a group chain. I'll tell you when it comes out. Just put the product into the marketplace. Like you guys, who's, who do you have a manager that manages all three of you or, you know, a guy with a cigar or a metaphorical cigar going, okay, we got, we need product in this quarter. We're going to be like, yeah,

We'll do another movie. We're going to do, we're going to play County Fest because there's a lot of money. I mean, who is that? Are you all at Tom Parker? Who's the money guy? Yeah. The booker. We all have the same. Whose wife? You're all with the same people. Yeah. That'd be cool though. If we had competing reps. Yeah. That's the way to do it. That's how you break up quickly. Uh, we, Dane and I were the same guys that like had, uh,

You know, the Bernie Brillstein company. So they had Aykroyd. They've had it from day one. That's why they're all. Do your checks say please don't destroy on them or your individual names? Yeah. Good question.

Individual. Individual LLCs. Oh. Yeah. We're all incorporated. And do they have funny names? Who's got the funniest names? And so it begins. Start out as artist and then get the cash. No, you actually, with the 50th, there's a lot of sponsors. So you guys actually did an all-state commercial. Yeah. Huge.

You did? Thank you. That's what we're promoting today. Oh, yeah. We finally got to it. That's what we got coming out. Now, you co-wrote that or you had so much input into it, I assume, or just did it yourselves, basically. Yeah, we did. We did two of them. When does the next one come out? This week? I don't know.

But SNL was like, you guys are doing a commercial. So then we did a commercial. Yeah. Yeah. They killed my commercial. David and I are available. We're just saying, you know, I had a Superbowl commercial and they told me and Lauren killed it. I'm like, well,

When you were on the cast. Lorne killed it and then Lorne was in the Super Bowl commercial. They needed someone. Lorne did buh-bye in the Super Bowl commercial. Yeah, he did it with Helen Hunt and I was like, you could crush that. I do something like that. Wait, that's kind of like my bit. Yeah. Buh-bye. Buh-bye.

I would just say do everything. Does he say bye-bye? Nobody could. He could do it. That's one of the few he could do. Bye-bye. There's a really good show in there somewhere and it'd be like really good if you could

You know, we have a two week break. His his stuff around that makes me laugh so hard every time. It's so funny. Dry sarcasm. Yeah. Really nice if it was actually a funny show. Yeah. You're going away for break. It'd be nice if people could compliment you at Thanksgiving. But yeah, I.

I love, I love the notes like that. Cause it's always just like, you're so nervous. And for somebody to be like, that wasn't very good. It's kind of like refreshing. Yeah.

Yes, it is. I like it on air. I see on the commercials they bump, you know, and they show like the sketch being broken down or usually or they go to a commercial. They come back just in the middle of Lauren's just standing there near the set. Like, you know, this is the one that counts. Just so you know. Well, not my first season. He would be out on the floor and everyone was terrified, obviously nervous. And he had he always had a glass of Chardonnay.

and be very relaxed. I thought this must be a message to us to calm the fuck down. Yeah. Just come up right before you, the sketch. He goes, um, this sketch needs to breathe and then just walk away. Breathe. What? But he was right. Anyway, he's, he's the greatest character, uh, to do. But, um, when did you become friends with him? Like how long into your, into your,

cast member i you know i he always it took me a long time to really kind of not be intimidated by him even though i was only there and his you know he had done five seasons was gone for five so he was he was 40 years old but you're still kind of intimidated because the original cast the original saturday night live the folklore but at the end of my first season he said you know um

come out to Amagansett this weekend. So I just thought there'd be a lot of people there, but it was just me and Lorne going out. And then we hung out for a weekend together. We went to movies and stuff. Would you like Milk Duds or popcorn? Wow.

Back to the sea song? He had a Mustang and we'd drive around the island and he'd point at things. If it all goes away, I've always got that. God, that's awesome. I can't wait to meet him one day. Yeah, you should meet him. Doesn't he come to your birthdays and stuff? Growing up. Yeah. Everyone, Lorne's here. He would sing me songs and stuff. Yeah.

Dana was singing to him this weekend at the God dang. Oh, forget it. What's that? Oh, that's his birthday. His birthday cake at the party. Yeah. David.

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Here you are, like thinking five years ago, you're coming to NYU, you're funny together, you're doing stuff. And now here you are now, what would you tell your younger self, yourself of coming right out of college? Because this doesn't always just happen. It takes a lot of things to come together for all of us, you know, so.

um are you um high as a kite all day you're happy or more nervous than you were in some ways because the stakes are higher having fun i don't know just throwing stuff out you can say we don't have any response to that i guess like you're doing the right thing i don't know i was so like racked with anxiety of like

pursuing this thing that like doing sketch comedy shows for like five people as like a an adult and not making any money being like is this what am I doing this for so I guess like there is something you're onto something I don't know

Yeah. Did you ever have any adults say to you, well, this probably won't work out, but it's going to help you in whatever you probably end up doing? Yeah. I think, Marty, your dad, too. It was like, this is not nice. This is not a nice business. Yeah. And that was the main thing. I wanted to be a Disney kid more than anything. And they were like, no way. I was like, my birthday asked when I was nine was for an agent.

What's a Disney kid to be on a show like Wizards of Waverly Places? Yeah, exactly. Like I always wanted it. They were like, absolutely not. So then once we started. Did you dress up as Kuzco like I did for Halloween? You did? No, I'm not allowed, but I can't dress as my own thing. Martin, did you go to the set of Happy Gilmore? I did. Yeah, yeah.

Is it fun? How's Uncle Adam? He's good. Did you sit on his lap? Uh-huh. That place is a cavalcade of stars out there. Every time I talk to those guys, it's like someone else came by and they threw him up in there. Sounds like fun, though. Have you guys talked to Marcelo yet? No, he's been stonewalling us. Domingo? Domingo? Hey! Domingo? Yeah.

He's got a big personality, man. But he's...

Makes you happy when you see him. Cause it's like dopamine or something. It's, it's great to be around. We want them on the show. You guys have any connections? I see him at the improv sometimes too. When it first stand up. Marcello is hilarious. Cause it'll be like, he'll be screaming in your face, doing a bit with you. And then at the end of it, it'll go like, God, I'm so tired, man. You're like, this is him tired. Yeah. He just got tired from yelling. Yeah.

Well, I think the cool thing, what you guys have going on is that you just make your own work. You know, and the movie is on Peacock for the rest of our lives. Treasure, Foggy Mountain. You guys wrote that, did that. So you're in a, I,

I would say that to anyone. If you can create your own work, create your own movies, create all these mini feature films you're doing, you know, it feels like someone might go, I like that one, make that into a full movie. But yeah. And the other observation I thought about later, sorry, was, um, the self deprecating kind of characters you are, the likability, you know, you're always, um, uh,

Just just extremely likable as as as actors on that screen, you know, because you're you're reacting to madness and stuff in a very real way. So I think you it's just a great lane to be in in show business, not asking for permission. I mean, not having to go audition like you are your own.

ecosystem we talk about that all the time of like if you're just an actor in LA waiting for auditions how do you keep your mental health like how do you keep going it seems impossible

That was something I was going to say when you guys asked if we all have the same agents is sometimes we'll all get the same audition. Like we'll audition for the same parts and we'll all do a tape and then send it and we'll see what our agents send back to each of us. Love this take. So you also will audition maybe for a part in a movie and stuff like that, just as yourself. And you don't, you don't necessarily not as a trio.

I do a lot of solo modeling, too. That makes sense. Who's the tallest? Ben is the tallest. Thank you for getting that on the record. Everybody thinks I'm short, but I'm not. Because you have two tall partners. How tall are you, John? Six feet tall. That's pretty good. Six feet, 5'11", and

No, I'm six three. I was saying that John is five, 11, five, five, 11. John, are you five 11? No, I'm six feet. I went to the hospital the other day. Just to get. Yeah. So, yeah. Why does Dana say we have to interview that pipsqueak today?

This is Zoom. They're bigger than you can see in the frame. You look tiny, these guys, all three of them. David, when are you going to come to the show? I know. I think I'm coming in December now to come watch. So I haven't been. I did a tour this year, so I'm gone every weekend. I can't even come see Dana. So I think I'm going to come visit and just like give head nods in hallways and stuff like that. We got to do a video. We should do a video. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Let me know if there's anything so I can kill it. Anyway. No, but I love you guys are great. Late night. I'm doing a wrap up because you guys are great, but I just want to say, are we wrapping up? Yeah, we did it. You guys.

I can do this for hours. I know. It is fun. The second half was going to be you guys talking, but we didn't have time. We reached our quota of 17,500 words between Ed and I. You guys are at 2,200. But...

No, but it is fun to finally talk to you guys and meet you guys. And always funny on the show. I hate to sound sincere, but it's good. Do you have any wrap up thing you guys want to say? Yeah. Anything you want to say? We didn't get out. We got a plug. Got anything. Any questions or answers? Six, five. I didn't say it, but I'm six, five. Okay, good. The same as Travis Kelsey.

The latest like. Yeah. Every Instagram is girls going, the guy has to make a million and be 6'5". I'm like, Jesus Christ. I'm like, what about the part having three pantries? That's never making it there. What's that skateboard in the background, David? This one is Jack Spade. That's

My brother's old company and they made a skateboard because he's a skater. This one is Bruce Lee on a board that I was as a present because I skate. I used to, I'm kind of a phony now, but I used to skate a lot. So do you do it? I couldn't, I'm too scared though. I used to skate and then I'm too brittle and I, I don't, you know, if I go into a pool or a ramp, it's like, yeah, I tried my buddy's ramp and it was so huge. It was wood and my,

my wheels would slide more because I was used to cement. It's just so hard. And then you fall. It's like, oh my God. So I know one fall you're done. Yeah, I can't do it. So I just talk about skating, wear the t-shirts and stuff. Just a phony. No, me too. I got a Knoxville t-shirt on right now. Oh yeah. All right. Here's a quiz. The safest way to get thrills recreationally.

Cocaine. Yeah. That was my second one. A wave runner or, you know, on a lake that's empty because you can just fly off. Sometimes those are boring.

because you're not allowed to splash so people get near someone else it has to be an empty lake you know okay i just least the whole lake i've invested anyway all right thanks guys and my net worth is oh yeah go to black anyway i will see you guys uh in a couple weeks we love you guys for real thanks for having us guys uh thank you enjoyed it appreciate you all very much thanks guys

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.