The Phil Hartman Tribute Episode (Live from the Groundlings Theatre)
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

where would i find a towel that's a toughie when it's because they're naked well it's in it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack yeah thank you i was gonna look there people don't even think hotels sometimes just go hey i'll go there i'll get an airbnb so um you won't regret it okay you guys we have a special episode uh today this is um

This is Phil Hartman, sort of a looking back, a remembrance, fondly at the late, great- A tribute to Phil. Yeah, there you go. Because on our podcast, we kept hearing all kinds of people mentioning Phil, Will Ferrell, Bill Hader, admiring Phil, even trying to be like Phil. So we just thought, let's do a show about Phil's greatness on Saturday Night Live,

And for that reason, we know there was a tragic tragedy that happened and we steered away from it for the most part because we wanted this to be fun and we let people ramble around. But it was, I'll just say from my side of the fence is I'd had dinner with Phil's daughter and her husband about a year and a half ago and she expressed kind of wanting to talk about

her mom and dad and we went, you know, we told her do whatever you want, but she did decide to come to the live show at the Growlings, which you're about to hear. So that was really nice for her to see all that love pouring out for her dad.

And it was emotional, but it also was just a blast to revisit Phil's greatness. And he just made me laugh so much. Yeah, and you're going to hear a lot of laughs because it's old writers and cast members you know. And we went to the groundlings where Phil's from, got on stage and had a great time.

Crowd that loved him and we just all. Or he is a Hall of Famer or maybe the goat of the Groundlings. He was there for 11 years. And so we went to the home base of where it all happened. And Julia Sweeney was with us on this particular show. And she got her break on that stage. So a lot of great fun to be had on this episode. It's very interesting and lots of laughs. Yeah, we got Kevin Nealon. We got Jim Downey, Dana, myself and Julia. So hope you like it.

Part 1. You don't scare me. I got chunks of guys like you in my stool. Hey, everybody. What a great montage. Oh, shit.

You got the cold side. That was awesome. Thank you very much. You've been a great audience. David? Hey, guys. I'll fix this. Give me about 25 minutes. No, but what happened? I feel like I'm in a witness protection program here with the microphone. Christ sakes. Remember when that submarine went down? I miss that crazy little sub. How long are you going to work on that microphone? I got attached. Ma'am, I'm perfect. This is okay. I got it. I went to DeVry.

I'm under a vent, and I probably will be for the next. Are you under a vent? Are you feeling it? Oh, yeah. It's fucking brutal. I call it a cool breeze to keep us comfortable. You call it a vent. Brutal. Who's negative now? So, you guys, thanks for coming down. We're going to get things going because we have all our friends here, a couple of great friends. How long has this puppet theater been here?

It is so quiet. They said it's small. I was here once, but man, it's intimate. Yeah. It's really intimate, isn't it? I thought this was like the forum. I want to see Neil Young here.

You know what I mean? Don't laugh. That's not that great. You know, just acoustic. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Introduce our panel. Okay. We're doing this show and we're going to bring out our guests. In no particular order, I'll just say number one. It's a dating game. Please welcome, from Saturday Night Live and everything else, my good friend and David's good friend, Mr. Kevin Nealon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Kevin. Nice to see you, brother. Nice to see you. I knew Kevin right when I saw him backstage. I go, I know that. That's Kevin. Is this okay? Yeah. I don't like to sit any closer to you guys. Yeah, this has been pretty distant. Who would you like to sit next to you? Because that's who I'll introduce next. Sit next to me? Robbie Margo. Margo Robbie. Yeah.

And her twin sister, Robbie Marco. Robbie Marco is a very good actor. I saw that blank stare. I thought, maybe that's not her name. Well, I saw a movie with Pitt Brad. Have you ever seen Pitt Brad? That guy is a hell of an actor. Old Pitty. Pitty, they call him. Yeah. A town without pity. Let's get out Julia Sweeney. Yeah. Look at that. They're packed in here.

Lovely, Julia. One of your own. One of your own. A groundling. I like when you meet people. Were you a groundling? Yeah.

How many were groundlings? How many not groundlings? Never been a groundling. Is that an applause light? Is that an applause light? Oh my God. That green light went on. Oh, it's almost over. I don't know what's going on. And of course, an esteemed writer from Saturday Night Live. We'll talk all about that. The one and only, the infamous writer of Saturday Night Live and other things, Mr. Jim Downey. Yeah. Yeah.

Right there, Jimmy. Yeah, buddy. Jim Downey. Our boss. Jim Downey with the re-choose. I just wanted to sing. All right, let's see. Jim Downey at the re-choose. Do you need any help with that? No, I won't. You tell him. Oh, easy, Hulk. Can I get a bit of you? Problem, problem. But we have this worked out. How's that? That going to be okay for the next four and a half hours? I'm going to work.

You would like an adjustment? Why don't we go backstage? Can I get a menu? While they're turning this blow fan off. I just want to be able to see. I was a stand-up for years and you know how to adjust mics, right? Yes. I do, yeah. Mine's perfect. Is that good? Thank you. Perfect. All right, let's wrap this up. Yeah. And David Spade. All right.

All right, welcome to Fly on the Wall live from the infamous ground lanes in Hollywood, California. I'm Dan O'Flarfo. This is David Spudler.

And we decided to do a tribute to Phil Hartman because we have this podcast that's dedicated to SNL primarily. And everyone kept mentioning Phil's work and his sketches, Will Ferrell and Bill Hader and others. So we thought, let's do an episode devoted to Phil Hartman's greatness. And I guess I'll say genius as a sketch player on Saturday Night Live. Yeah.

So we're going to talk about all that and start it live. We don't have a script, right, David? We're just flying free. Well, I'll become very obvious.

But we do know, we all knew Phil pretty well, some better than others. We could maybe just start with Kevin and we'll just sort of meander and go all over the place, but we will definitely discuss Phil. But Kevin, what comes to mind? Phil Hartman? I knew I sat in the wrong chair. I should have took the first one. Phil Hartman, I remember when we first got on Saturday Live and we

we were all kind of getting to know each other, although I knew a few people. And then somebody was talking about the old guy. There was an old guy that's in the cast too. He wasn't around yet, but he was really good. His name's Phil Hartman. And he was 37 years old. Gross. And we were all like, wow, he is old. He did seem like an adult. He's so old. And so, yeah, he was a lot of fun. So we got to...

We were shooting the titles and I remember it was late at night and we're sitting around waiting for the camera set up and it's Phil, Jan Hooks and me. And I don't know if this was a sketch he used to do or what, but Jan would like feed him lines, say, I forget what his character's name was, like Mr. Poopy, he was calling him something and he was a foreign guy.

And he said, Mr. Poopy, can you say, I'm having a good time in Los Angeles. I love, I mean, in New York. I love it here. Los Angeles, good time. And the way he did it was really funny. You know? No, he was. It was funny. I can't even do a fake foreign guy. Yeah. You know? But that's one of the things I remember right off the bat. We'll get back to some other stories a little later. The Y95. Yeah.

Yes, well, Kevin and I came in together with Phil, and our first show was with Phil. That's where I know you from. Yeah. Remember, we shared an office. You guys did? We shared an office a tenth of the size of this stage. Remember when it started snowing and I looked out the window? We were there for so many hours, you're exhausted. And I didn't know about winter, really. I mean, like a winter coat.

Well, yeah. Well, you know, I think it was the second year. There's a big tall window in the office on the 17th floor. Yeah. And can you hear me way in the back? And, you know, you work so late at night to like, you know, three or whatever in the morning. And after a while, you just run out of ideas. I think it was the second year. We're looking out the window and 30 Rock is lit up from below. And you can see the snow falling down through the window. And we're both standing in front of the window. It was like a New Yorker cartoon. And we just both said, we

We had our chance. We had our chance. To get a winter coat. That was the first snow. I had my chance. I didn't get it. I don't have it. And now I'm fucked. Yeah. Take a break. We'll be right back. Juliet, any reflections you want to share? Well, I knew Phil before he was on SNL. He was actually my intermediate teacher. Yeah. Lingo. And he was truly one of the best teachers. I think, I mean...

Really, at least once a week, I think of something that he said. There's not that many people who are really funny and know why they're really funny. They can explain it to you, it seems like, don't you think, in comedy? Some people are just instinctively funny and they don't know why. Some people can't explain what they do, but Phil could. And so he was just such an incredible teacher. But I'd taken basic and then I was asked to repeat it. Whoa.

That was a great thing. And then, so I had taken basic twice and then I got filled for intermediate. And I still think, cause they were teaching the classes up at that church on Highland and Franklin.

Yeah, Scientology. And that's where I took the class with Phil. And I just loved him immediately. And I knew him from the Pee Wee Herman show. And he was, of course, I knew him from coming to the Groundlings. So I was a huge fan of his. And he changed my life, really. Like he could explain. I remember he, you know, he had exercises. He talked about taking like, we had to do like a Warner Brothers cartoon character and mash it with a

family member we know intimately and come up with a character that's just half of each thing. Like how, just how to do it. Like he just told you how to do it. And he had a great laugh and he was so supportive of everyone. And,

And then after that, we became friends and we hung out a lot and we became really just friends on our own. And then it was very exciting to know him. And then when he got on SNL, it was such a big deal. It was so exciting. And then when I got on SNL, I really felt like I had a big brother at the show. Like it was just so great to have him there. And he would bring me in his office and kind of explain the things that were happening at SNL. Like I felt like I had somebody had my back. It was great.

Wow. What a wonder. Nice. It was Lorraine Newman as far as the groundling going to SNL. And then it was John Lovitz. John Lovitz. And then it was Phil. Hello. And maybe you were the fourth. Yeah.

- Hello? - Was I the fourth? I guess maybe. - Maybe not. - There's a lot, I think. - Also, Phil was great at teaching the hosts how to read the cue cards. - Oh yes, he was. - Without making it look like you're looking at the cue card. - The gold standard of cue card reading. - Yeah, he really knew how to cheat well. And also, 'cause I forgot to tell you this, I don't know if it'll ever come back to me. - So you're just taking the floor. - You have all the time in the world. - So Phil's office was next to ours.

Close, anyway. And I would go in there. On the same floor. Same floor. I can't remember. It was back in the 1900s. So I would go over to...

Phil, every time I went over to Phil's office, it seemed like he had a different hobby he was doing. You know, he'd either be painting one week, he had the easel in there and books on how to paint and different, you know, paints. And then the next week I go in there, he's learning how to play the blues guitar. Paints were gone. The paints were gone. And then the next week he's sailing. And the next week he's flying an airplane. But he did all those things well. He was really an artist. I know. I know.

I know. He did an album cover. He did America's album cover. He was the only, I think I have this right. And I'm sure you guys will correct me if I don't. He was the only cast member who got a writing credit. Yeah. Right. And it was because he had actually come to the show as a guest writer, the season before you guys joined. I didn't know that. Paul Rubens hosted the show. And, um,

And he came with Paul. And John and Phil were friends from the Groundlings and was pushing him. But he suddenly, I remember, it was kind of amusing to us that sometimes the cast would kind of notice the fact that

They were doing an awful lot of writing, in some cases more than Phil. But he was getting a writing credit. None of them were. And Phil did have a really full life with all these hobbies and interests. He was a big surfer. Scooby-Doo a little later. Yeah. And kind of like, you know.

you wouldn't necessarily size him up and read him for like an adventure guy, you know, but he, Conan, Conan used to tell me that Phil would call him up like on a Tuesday and go, hey, Conan, let's go, you want to go skiing up in Stratton? It's like, Phil, we have a show this week. He's like, well, I'll have you back by read through. It's like, but,

But we have to write the show. I mean, that's what read-through is. It's the reading of the pieces that the writers write. You should know this. You're a writer, you know? And it's, oh, come on. Come on. It's one week. And you guys, like, I'm sorry. Why is it funny to me? It is funny. You guys wrote an awful lot of stuff. Didn't get a writing class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

I was one of the people who complained, by the way. And I think they said just Phil gets that. Well, I did get a writer's credit, Jim, my first year there. Because you came on as a writer feature. That's right. But once you were promoted to cast, promoted, it was like, welcome to your smaller paycheck. Let's back up a little bit.

I'm going to tell you a very brief story for the next 45 minutes. I had a, no, at the second season, Lauren said, we could either make you a cast member or you could say feature and keep your writing credit.

I said, well, I guess you know what I got to do. So I took the cast member and I, yeah, and I, we all kept writing and none of us got credit because Lawrence said about, you know, getting paid, the writers got paid more, right, Jim? Yeah. Than the actors. Yes.

Because we could go make money outside the show. By the way, I mean, it is to the advantage of performers to write for themselves. It is. As the writers. But wait a minute.

- You hit me there. - But Jim. - I love how this just devolved into us arguing about the house. - So wait a minute, Julia, you wrote on the show. - You know what, Phil would have said. - I'm only hearing this now. You wrote all your stuff? - Yeah. - But Lauren said the writers aren't gonna go on and make a lot of money like we are. So cut to Conan O'Brien, Craig Daniels, Dave Mandel, you know.

Yeah. By the way, Phil would have loved this discussion. Yeah. He would have been all over it. No one would have laughed harder. But, yeah, it was true that the feeling was that, yeah,

cast members, A, it was to their advantage to write for themselves if it helped them, you know, their image. And B, they were going to make money in movies and so on in ways that writers can't. Well, Jim's the, he was the boss. Jim was the head writer when I was there. And he was making $325,000 a week. I mean, I got that wrong. I don't.

Now, I think what happens, Julia, is when you and Kevin and Dana, we would...

lose the writing credit and be cast and then you thought you'd get this cavalcade of sketches written for you. And then you go, wait. Right. Exactly. I guess I still have to write because no one is writing for me. And that's the way it always is. So anyway, getting back to Phil. Anyway, the audience loves this conversation. Not yet. Wait, the other half of that though is it's not just that Phil was the only one who got a writing credit and hence the salary and like an Emmy or something. And had his own office. Yes. But

It wasn't even close in terms of which cast member did the writers write for. Phil. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he had all the writers writing for him. He was like the writer and the star and all the writers wrote for him. This is turning against Phil. This is an unexpected turn. We'll be back. We'll be back while we reset the stage. Our backup guests will be out in a moment.

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Find it on auto trader. See it. Find it. Auto trader. Can we just on the writing thing? I'm trying to diffuse it. I got some, I got to say, I just want to say this. What would Kevin and I did Hans and Franz or stuff that you do? Anybody remember that? You guys remember that?

Jim was a perfect example of the cast writing and then Jim became a fan of the sketch along with Robert Spiegel and was a big contributor. But, you know, we designed the template. And Phil played the funniest role in those characters, Hellman.

Well, Hans and Franz were like these idiotic bullies and egomaniacs, paranoid schizophrenics. I remember. And they... Phil came on as the brow-beaten helmet, this very sad sack...

with a droopy prosthetic to make him look really pathetic. And that was the brilliant thing about Phil. He could come on and almost be like a silent clown in this, you know, very contained. There's a lot of melancholy around him. Hello, I'm Helmut. I am Helmut. I am Helmut. And Helmut, turn around so we can see your buttocks. You're lucky we don't have a campfire here. Your buttocks are like marshmallows. LAUGHTER

If you took your belt off, you'd cause a flabberlatch. I could flick you with my little finger and you would fly across the room and land in your own baby poop. This is the sophistication of the writing. That was Jim Downey's line, I gotta say. Jim's like, how did you not get money for writing that stuff? Also, his was the perfect embodiment of pumpitude. Jim, do you remember that?

I guess so, yeah. I mean, it's a lot of water over the dam, but yeah. That was funny shit, man. That was the kind of thing where, I mean, you guys walked in with that and Smigel and I both really responded to that. And so we would, you know, occasionally, you know,

How about throw you a line or something? That's the best. That's when the show really is working. But that is, I mean, you know, the writers, it's really a performer show. I mean, you wouldn't necessarily know it from the credit system, but it is the performers are the leading edge of that show. And a performer, you know, can lift a mediocre script.

you know, a great script can't necessarily work if the performer doesn't have something, you know? But the, and anyway, we're on strike now. So we're not- Is it illegal what we're doing right now? I'm in- That did cross my mind, by the way. Am I, is this- Was Fran Dresner, was she a groundling? Or-

Why is she in the audience in a mask? So anyway, Phil. I have a question, Downey, and you don't have to answer anything else. I have a very funny Fran Drescher story. Well, I'm all ears. You have to know Al Franken. But it was a dinner. Dana, it's Al. Al had wanted very badly to take over Update. This was at the time when...

When, in fact, Norm Macdonald ended up taking over. And Al was like really...

making his case as Al would do, you know, relentlessly over a long period of time and talking to lots of people. And so finally, Lauren said, well, if it's not going to be Al, we need to tell him. And so we, it was one of these posh Italian restaurants. And so, and it was me, Lauren and Al, and we got to dinner and we finally get around to the, it's like, so what, what is it, what's it going to be? Yeah.

And it's like, Al, we, Jim was thinking. And so we had just gotten done telling Al it's,

The feeling is that it would be with you, it would be good and certainly it would have an attitude, it would have a political edge, but maybe we want it to be...

not partisan, just sillier. And Al was like, wow. And he was, Al was very upset. And he just started to vent. And Fran Drescher, who did it at the next table, was like, hi. And it was just, I said, lawn. I don't do the Fran Drescher voice, obviously. But it was just, she, I mean, I think she's great and funny and everything, but it was just the worst timing. Yeah.

It's a step right on Al's plaintiff thing. But I'm sorry, I just sparked that one. You told me two things earlier. A little birdie told me. Two things about Phil and Saturday Night Live. One was... One was, I'm certain this is true, that Phil was probably in more pieces than any...

cast member in history, especially now that the casts are so huge. I mean, when you guys were there, it was more like eight. What kind of money is the cast making now? A lot of money. We don't want to go there again. No, Phil would be in so many pieces. Yeah.

That our running order would be determined by his wigging requirements. Right. So that after you guys, after we had that, the way the show works is on the last rehearsal, the studio breaks at 11 o'clock on Friday night.

And and I would I would be up there in Lauren's office with Lauren and mainly the heads of the departments like the set and and costume departments and and making sure, you know,

hammering out a running order for dress deciding which sketches would go where in the order and and based the bait way it worked was we would have our our ideal order based on the comedy in the flow and let's you know, this is a big full casting open with that and then we you know, this is a Smaller piece that that'll be a nice segue and then we film here to transition something and the way it works is is

It's like a Swiss Army knife where we have-- If we're producing 13 pieces in this fairly tiny space,

The sets, the same space has to serve as the base for like three sketches in the course of night. So the sets have to be assembled, taken down, a new set brought in, and something has to be entertaining the audience while this is going on. So you have film and other, you can't do it during a sketch. Anyway, no one ever envisaged a problem where it would be a performer.

Like amazingly, they found a way to, you know, to build like a Roman Colosseum piece during a film, little two minute film, and then remove it and turn it into like a, you know, modern restaurant. But the problem is like, can you get from like Roman Colosseum to, you know, Warsaw or something?

Yeah, we can, but wardrobe has the problem, and it was Phil's hair because Phil was in every piece. And so if it was like a bald pate,

you know, it does take time to get on if he's gonna be bald. And so we finally got to the point where just put him in a fucking bald pate and put wigs on him all night. Every night, yeah. A lot of times. But what we used to, he literally, we could like, we'd have a running order there, perfect. And then Tom Broker, who was one of the costume people go, um...

Now I've got a film problem going from that to that. And it was only because he was in every fucking piece.

And he was so organized. I remember him bringing me in. He had this binder. He had things for every sketch. And the actors weren't that organized. Well, if you weren't in as many sketches as he was in. But he'd be like in eight sketches in a show. Like routinely. I'm trying to remember if he ever had a light show. And cast members...

That was a thing that we kept from you people to the extent we could. But sometimes Lauren would go, you know, Kevin's really light in the show. Does anyone have? And often, you know, I'm saying, for example, it could have been Dana. Sure.

That was my choice, by the way. Although it wasn't date up, bear up. But, no, but I mean, you know, and it would just be, it was the luck of the draw, except in the case of Phil, it just never, he never seemed to have, and I don't remember, although an interesting fun fact about Phil is that he never appeared even one time on Update. Really? He was the only cast member who never did.

He managed to get through however many seasons he did. - They couldn't get the wig on him in time. - They couldn't do it. And he finally did when he came back to host the show after he left, he came back and he did Frankenstein.

On update. This might be a good time to look at something for fun. We have a little clip of Phil as Frankenstein. It was Frankenstein. I'm going to Peter. Jim wrote that, didn't you? It was Tarzan. Kevin played Tarzan. With Jack Handy and I would write. Jack Handy. And Tonto was John Lovitz. The idea was it started with we were going to do a piece about cavemen Christmas caroling.

And it was the idea of cavemen dropping out the, I guess it's the indefinite article. So the and and and stuff. So away in manger, no crib for bed. You know, that that was the way they would sing. And then then it became like Tarzan. The thing with Tarzan was Tarzan.

you know, Tarzan would, would, would speak like that with that kind of diction, but then suddenly throw like some highfalutin, you know, word at you like Tarzan, see white hunter come, uh,

on escarpment. And it's like, what? And so we had, you know, Tarzan was the same kind of idea. And then, and Tonto. So anyway, it was just the people who talked. Anyway, we have like a 45 second clip. No, that's good. We do have a short clip. Okay, but what about the INF Treaty?

Excuse me, Ms. Fulmer. Frankenstein, not understand question. Oh, I'm sorry. The INF Treaty, it outlaws medium-range nuclear missiles. At least that in the European theater. The film's breaking.

Sassy. So that was. I couldn't see that, but was that where the set literally started? Yeah, and then Phil lost it. He came crawling out. And he never did that. He never broke. That was the only time he broke. And he broke hard.

Jim, did you see his audition? You probably watched all of our auditions, right? Yeah. Yeah. He was our boss. You're all great. Do you still look at him? I don't regret any of the choices. We want you to know that. Thanks, Dad. And Phil, so what happens is you guys, usually you and Lauren, they hear about someone. To get as far as an audition...

It takes a lot, right? So they're already probably pretty good just to get in front of you guys. So by the time you see Phil, you've heard a lot. He was, was he hired before Kevin and Dana? No, we all came out at the same time. Oh, you were all on the same show. You're not paying attention, man. I was, I drifted off in the middle. He might have technically been

in the discussion just because of the Paul, he had been at the show the year before. - Oh, right, right, right. - And John Lovitz was- - John had to talk him into it. He didn't wanna. - I didn't know that, really. - He didn't wanna what? - Be a cast member. I mean, when I met him, he was supposedly a writer and John kept going, "He's the funniest. He's the greatest. You gotta hire him."

And John really knew. He'd seen him here, you know. Well, they worked together. They worked together. Yeah, yeah. They did pieces, didn't they? Yeah. So, Julie, did Phil recommend you? Was that any, or did you just? I don't think so. I mean. Did you audition right here? Yeah, I auditioned here. Like, where physically? I like the time machine. Like, I'll route this whole.

Like right there. Wow. Was I here? Was I right here? You were right there cheering me on. I remember it was between me and Lisa Kudrow and when I got it, I thought, I really hope that Lisa has a career. Because she deserves something. She's so good. Scraps.

It just shows you. You never know when you're in business. You never know. But you came on. Did you bring, when you're Begatrix, it's Pat? Did you have that developed here? Yes, I had done it here, but I had this character that I'd done many times here called Mia Culpa.

I thought that was gonna be my big character. But then Pat, I'd only done one sketch here as Pat. What was Mia Coppa like? It was just a character. She apologized for everything. Well, can you give me 10 seconds? No, she's an apologist. I mean, I talk like this and she just said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm sorry. Anyway, anyway, oh yeah. But anyway, that was...

a play and I won best play of the LA weekly like I thought okay I have my character and I could not get this character on in fact Al Franken said he thinks I did more sketches trying to get that character on than any other person he'd ever seen I think I tried to get on 15 sketches as Mia Culpa and then I thought you know what they don't like this character yeah

Did it get to dress or you just did it at read-through? Did it ever get to dress? No. Just read-through. But then Al put it in his movie in Stuart Saves His Family. He had me play that character. As a compensation, so I finally got to do it. But no, I'd only done Pat. I had done Pat here as a down left. How did you come up with the name Mia Coppa? What does it mean? Just in a common... What about Mia Coppa? Jim...

Julia. Kevin. You know our names. We should add name tags. I was going to say, I remember what we don't talk about a lot is the commercial parodies. And some of my favorite ones were Coal and Blow. Coal and Blow. And that was pure. Phil was the star of that one. He did my first thing I ever wrote was Chia Head.

I don't know. Kevin, were you in that? I think you were in that. Yeah. And Chris Rock. Were you in that, Julia? I think she had. Yeah. I don't think so. She had. I think Chris Rock was. And I filled in that. And then I think he did Salon. There's a couple more. So I remember. Change Bank. Did he do Change Bank? You did Change Bank. Well, Jim was the announcer for Change Bank. That's like when you tell Reggie Jackson that he had three home runs. Jim goes like this. Oh, yeah. I remember Change Bank. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

How would you describe Change Bank? It was a very quiet digression, a bank, a commercial for a bank. It was just a guy, a guy, a not very mediagenic guy, way too excited about something that he was the most excited person about. And it was explaining something at great length that everyone gets instantly without the explanation. Yeah.

And it's just something that always made me laugh as a writer, just like, no, you don't understand. It'll be great because, you know, like I remember wrote a piece one time about the female owner, Joan Kroc, who was like, she owned the Padres? Oh, Ray Kroc's widow? Somebody, anyway, she was giving it a...

She was giving a talk to the team, to the baseball team and saying, and you hitters, tonight, hit a home run. Hit a home run. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because when you hit a home run, you get to run around all of the bases. True, true. And so, I don't know. But Change Bank is like,

Do a little change bank for us. Yeah, yeah. Change bank, change bank, change bank. They don't know the idea is people bring change in. The bank would make you change. The only thing this bank did was to actually make change. And so it was just a guy. And then you over explain it. It's funny, well, I wrote it for Kevin. I wrote the part with Kevin playing it.

And I remember, and maybe you forgot. Because I was late in the show. Whoa, okay. We'll be right back. The plan. Reset. But Kevin, I remember I was getting very notey with the performance thing. And you were the one who suggested that I do it instead. Yeah.

Wow. And then I became much lighter in the show. That's making yourself even lighter. Well, but no, but I mean, it was, I remember you saying, Jim, no hard feelings. You seem to, you have very specific ideas about this. And I mean, you could do it. Why don't you do it? And I was sort of thinking. I was like, why don't you just do it? It wasn't that, it wasn't that tone at all. But, but, yeah.

- No, I'm not mad. - Do a little bit of it. - Yeah, show us how great it is. - I mean, it was, by the way, it was like 30, was it in 1988? So 12 plus, it's 35 years ago. That's a long ass time ago. - Easy, easy. - But it was- - Maybe we don't have to hear it. - Yeah.

All right. When, when, when Frank would do your cold open, let me hear it. I'm this close to doing it. If you don't do it, it's just like, if you want change for a dollar, we can give you 10. It opens with a graphic. Like, um, at first, at first citywide change bank, we do one thing. We make change. And it's like, um, you can, you can bring us in a $10 bill, a $5 bill. We will give you change. You can bring it a $5 bill. We'll give you five singles. Uh,

20 quarters, 50 dimes, you know, and I'm explaining. And many people don't realize the sheer variety of change combinations that are available. That was just an excitable guy. All right, we have a clip of Change Bank. No, I'm kidding. Oh, I thought we did. Oh, they're disappointed. Did he do the car you can fuck? Was that one?

The Car You Can Fuck? Is that one? Who is that? That sounds like something we did, but I don't... I thought that was... Sounds like a keeper. I know we did. Bonnie and Terry Turner wrote a really funny piece. It was about a car...

It was called the Chameleon. Yeah. And it was a luxury car that no one would steal because it was like inside, it's like, you know, plush leather and just the finest, you know, mahogany glove box and all this stuff. Super, super. But the exterior was rust and Bondo. Yeah. And it was just designed to look like a piece of crap that wouldn't get stolen. Yeah.

Yeah, I remember that one. All right. Well, here's some Phil. And Phil was in that. Yeah. He was in everything. Yeah. Phil was loaded and he was always great. Okay. We have a lot of clips. Okay, David, you can decide. Can you read those? I don't want it to be a sketch we did with me. Oh. Well...

Oh yeah. Church chat? Why don't you do... Well, do show the rest of that Frank Sinatra we showed earlier. That was a big one. The Sinatra group. All right. Let's talk about that for a sec. We'd done McLaughlin group on the show. And then the idea was to have... And Bonnie and Terry had done a Frank Sinatra sketch with Phil, who did a great Frank Sinatra. And then...

And then the inspiration, I don't know. Robert Smigel, probably. Yeah. So if you haven't seen it, Frank Sinatra has kind of a news talk show, and he's very critical of everybody. That's all you really have to know. He hates his guests. It's filling all his glory in this particular sketch. Billy Idol is played by Sting. I think it was Sting. That's right. Jan Hooks was Sinead O'Connor. And we had...

Mike Myers and as Steven 80. Yeah. Chris Rock was Luther Campbell. I was not in that sketch. Well, let's look at it. We'll figure it out.

Oh, okay. That was the same clip from before. I think there's a legal reason they're so short. Well, let's see if we can get lucky with the next one. Phil, Kevin, do you want to look at the air? Just hold it up. Just hold it up over there.

Yeah. Yeah. Kevin, we don't have a clip, but you did Siskel and Ebert. I saw that on. Was that funny? What was that one about? What happened to Johnny Carson and McMahon? Johnny Carson and McMahon. That's a closer. That feels like a closer. Okay. All right. You're right. A closer? I don't know. Well, we should take them when we can. Johnny Carson, me doing that with Phil Hartman was one of my favorite. How about Reagan?

reagan master reagan mastermind yeah that was that was written by virtually the entire writing staff this was should we this was phil hartman playing ronald reagan the doddering fool and then the guests would leave and then he would switch the whole war room out and he'd speak 10 languages and he became incredibly sharp so it was a tour de force for for phil always faking being dumb and then when the doors closed he'd be smart i remember i think i saw that before i came on the

Should we look at it? You got it! The great countries are the countries we sell arms to. The great countries are the countries where we wash our money. The great countries are the countries where we wash our money. Excuse me, Mr. President, sir. Yes, it's your 1130 photo opportunity. The little girl who sold the most Girl Scout cookies. Yeah.

Okay, let's get it over with. Everybody out. God, whoa, whoa. Well, Lisa, that's pretty sales lady. Maybe I could use you up on Capitol Hill. That was nice of you. Come on, Lisa. Come on.

- When did you phase Dennis out of sketches, Jim? - Dennis, well, pretty cool with his haircut. - I thought that was you at first. - We were, yeah, we were interchangeable. Can I say something? - Dennis was-- - I had my hair slicked back and a pompadour on that piece of tape, okay? - He was asking some impertinent questions about a writer's credit.

And we decided to make an example of it. Wait, Kevin was telling us about Siskel and Ebert. We don't have a clip, but what was that one?

It was not my favorite. I'll tell you that. I know that you brought that up. I even forgot I was in. I thought you said you liked it. No, I never liked that. Oh, really? Maybe I did. What was it about? It's been 35 years. We didn't do a Sister on the Everett sketch, did we? Is this the show? These are people we're talking about? Yeah. No, wait, Kevin. We have a movie review.

There's a little known fact, a little trivia. Phil did a Siskel and Ebert sketch. We did? You must have been there. Later. I would have been there, but I don't remember. You would have been there during that, right?

Can't stop arguing. What about the Harmon Lovitz sketches? Yeah, let's do that. Let's do the ones where... Lovitz, he's a groundling too. Oh, yeah. John, where is Lovitz? Why isn't he here? John would be too emotional. He said, yeah, he was too emotional. I talked to him today for an hour and I heard... We talked to him yesterday in person at my house about all this and then he said he was too scared to...

He would break down. - He's too emotional, but he and Phil were, when I first got on the show, I didn't really know him that well. We're just hanging out at Lauren's house and they always talked as gangsters to each other. "What's up, how are you?" "Hey, I love it here." At Dynamite, the producer said, "Is that all they do? "Have you seen them do anything else?" He goes, "All day long. "We want a sandwich, sure boss, right over here." So then they wrote this sketch where I don't know,

I kind of wish we showed these whole sketches. Did they do it here? Yeah. Where John is the movie studio head and Phil is the washed up actor. And here's a short. From the 40s or something, right? Yeah. Yeah. They're in that whole mode. Maybe I made too many of these war movies. Maybe I should take a rest. I'm glad you brought that up, Johnny. I think you should take a rest too. A permanent one.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah. Hilarious. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, they had quite a rep up haul. Oh, yeah. Okay. When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role, obviously. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. Everyone knows LinkedIn, but LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team faster and for free.

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Well, a lot of people ask me how I got on Saturday Night Live. And actually, they phrase it more like this. How did you get on Saturday Night Live?

And then later on, it's like, you were on Sarah White. I was more confused than Spade getting on there. I mean, I had nothing. I had not one character. It's true. Nothing going on for myself. Well, what about- I didn't realize it was the height. Subliminal Man, which you- Yeah, that I had. You killed on the first- Can you hum a few bars?

Subliminal Man, could you do a little bit of that? Because that was on the first show and it killed. You did it on Update. Oh, you did the first show? Yeah, it was me and Victoria Jackson and John Lovitz. And it was an advertising company. And I remember, this is my first sketch I've ever done. And it's a little difficult because you have like two conversations going on and you really couldn't go off the cue cards because it was kind of rapid dialogue. And I'm standing there waiting to go on.

first time ever, and Loren comes up alongside of me, and he puts his hand on my shoulder, like 10 seconds away, he goes,

Are you sure this is what you want? Very, very Lauren. He loved to scare us, but it was hysterical in retrospect. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be really like really nice if this was like funny, you know, I mean, that was, that was Lauren. Yeah. That was so him. But that character was basically, you know, he'd be talking about, you know, boy, I'd, uh,

I'd love to have dinner with you tonight, your treat. If you want to hang out afterwards at your place, that'd be a lot of fun. So it was always kind of flipping those words in there. What was the one where the audience would fill in the blanks?

That I never did on that show. I was in the audience at the Tonight Show when we were living together, and I was one of the people. That was Merv Griffin. And you were Merv Griffin. Jim was Arthur Treacher. Yeah. Anyone remember? That was not SNL. That was a bit from your act that you did on TV. That was Carson. You did on TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just like I'd be telling a story, true story. And I wouldn't ask the audience to fill in the word. I would just say, you know, it was...

It was crazy, I was driving home last night, right here in... -Melrose? -Melrose, yeah. And I'm a little tired, I had like one drink, and it was late at night, time was probably like... -Midnight. -Midnight. And I'm telling you, I've been in this town for a long time, and I usually carry a little... -Cash. -Cash in my car.

But I'm telling you, this was a little. This is from the change bank, actually. Anyway, it went on and on like that. Kevin, when these two guys were like my favorite stand-ups, when I was at the improv, I'd always go watch them and I always knew Kevin's jokes. But let's remember, this is not about me.

This isn't about you? I thought it switched halfway through. I got a text. The topic is moving toward... Julie, do you have a... Oh, Jim has his hand up. No, I was just thinking of something that actually involves, very much involves Kevin and Phil. I mean, you guys... Now, you guys remember that I was pretty contained at the read-through table

Partly, you know, it's my nature. Partly, I... You know, it's a matter of, like, I didn't want to, you know...

you know, I had to be like a judge. I didn't laugh very hard. There was one time I absolutely, a couple of times at Damon Wayans audition, I completely lost my shit. And then at, when it was a piece of Kevin wrote, which I hope is well known to the audience. I hope it's online, but the first one was called the hostage piece.

And it was Phil plays like this hopped up thug in like a wife beater t-shirt and his hair greased back and tatted up and everything. And Kevin is like a straight laced businessman who's tied up in this rat hole apartment.

And Phil's like waving this huge fucking gat in his face going like, if you're real smart, you're going to play ball. These people are going to come up with this razzle, right? Because I'm a mean, mean motherfucker. I'm a bad apple. I'm rotten at the core. I'll soon pull the head and look at you. And so he's like super intimidating. And then Kevin...

And Kevin says, no, they're going to get that ransom. Honestly. Hey, what's that over there? And he tries to escape. Phil instantly, instantly stops it. And he goes, what the hell was that about? What are you trying to do? I'm just going to tell you I'm a bitch. You're actually right, sir. I had no business doing that. That was complete. I was in the wrong. You're dead right. You were in the wrong.

You see that? That's a gun. Bang, bang. Go shoot your head. And he goes, and so Kevin pledges and then immediately tries to escape again. The whole thing was, the whole sketch is Kevin repeatedly trying to escape after Phil threatens him. And then Phil forgiving him.

I'd like giving him another chance. But the topper was at the end where, his name was Mace, by the way, in there. Mace. He says, I gotta go to the bathroom. You better not leave. So he goes to the bathroom. I gotta hit the head. He would shut the door and he had to sit down, you know? And he would, everyone's, he would,

He would push the door open just a little bit. To see if I was... You better not leave.

That's a perfect film. He was great with that. He was so good. And then we did another one with Peeping Tom. Ross and Peeping Tom. You better get out of the way from the window. I'm not going to tell you again. It's a Jan Hooks play. It was like a prostitute. And Phil has just gotten out. He's just gotten out of like a three-year stretch or something. He's like, oh, yeah, little lady.

Mace, Mace is going to take real good care of you. And she's like, yeah, whatever, just get it done. And like, oh, Mace is going to get it done, little girl. He's going to get it done real good. Hey, hey, you. Kevin, little Kevin's head in the window.

What the hell are you doing, you freak? You sick freak. It's okay. It's the same dynamic. But the thing that I was getting was, Kevin, I was astonished later. I just assumed like, well, Phil, so is this a character Phil had done at the Groundlings or something? And Kevin decided, hey, I have an idea for your Mace character for this piece. And Phil just said, oh, no, I just, no. Kevin just wrote the script and I was just interpreting it. I thought he did a character named Mace here. No? No.

Did he? He's seen it after a few times. But then he is talented. But that was a perfect Phil character. That is so perfect. I used to sit, Phil would sit right next to me. I would sit, yeah, I mean, me and Lawrence had the head of the table and Phil would, I don't know why, but maybe the writing credits, I think he sat right at the right hand up at the table. And so he's doing that character right next to me. And there was something about

It was like, you know, like kind of like accordion kind of energy that comes. I mean, it was you couldn't sit, just sit and, you know, quietly poker face that thing. It was. But I strongly urge people to try to find it online. It should be.

I have a copy at home if anybody wants to see it. You know, Kevin, you did a sketch I thought was very funny once. Please, it's not about me. Well, Phil was in it. Maybe it was Julia or Victoria, but it was Waiters Without a Pad. Oh yeah, it was not me. But I love that one. Kevin was the funny one in it, but Phil underplaying his part is always sells...

the other side of the sketch and it's very hard to do and then he's you're getting twice the laughs because you get a laugh and then he gets his reaction he was so good at that he totally understood what you were going for in the sketch and what was needed from him and how he could elevate the sketch we were just talking about that piece earlier I bet you remember this moment in the piece where

Phil is, Kevin has shown up, he's super smooth and it's an elegant restaurant. He's taking these complicated orders. And at one point, so he says, aren't you gonna write any of this down? Oh no, that won't be necessary. And so Kevin leaves.

And Phil's like, one of the guests is, wow, that's really impressive that he can memorize all those complicated orders. And it's like, listen, he's a professional at his job. And I'll tell you something else. Betty makes a damn good living at it. Do you remember that line? The reading out of it makes a damn good living. Don't kid yourself. That guy, he's sharp.

So he never writes it down. He gets it wrong every single time. But the joke, like a typical joke in the piece is like, would you like to start off with a drink? And it's like, so people are giving very specific, very memorable drinks. Like, yes, I'd like a vodka martini with just a little bit of vermouth. And I want some Angostura beers. Very nice choice. Very nice. So Kevin's approving.

And then, absolutely. Absolutely. And then like, I'd like just a white wine, simple white wine, glass of wine. Okay, Chardonnay, that'd be excellent. And then, and then Kevin comes back. So they talk about how brilliant Kevin must be. And then he comes back. I'm here with the drinks, the,

cream de cassis for the lady, the red bull and coke for the gentleman, the diet yoo-hoo for the lady, and for the gentleman, a creme de cassis. It's like, that's not what I ordered. Oh, it's like, really? Anyway, that was, so it's Kevin's refusal to write anything down.

My sketches seem to escalate with the same premise. There's more and more, you know, until it got so absurd. I remember the last order I took. Well, I don't remember it, but...

The last bit was I would go off with their order. No, I swear to God, I'll get it right this time. I know exactly what you want. Okay, I got it, I got it, I got it. Don't worry about it at all. And I leave, and then Phil's phone rings, and he picks it up, and then he cuts to me by the kitchen. I'm sorry, once again, that was the tuna tartare and the meatloaf. No, why don't you just write it down? I got it, I got it, I got it.

Oh, wait a minute. I'm sorry. One of the nicest things you were, Dave, you were talking about Phil's contribution. Yeah. It's at one point, Phil's like, I think I'll give, I'm happy to give you the order again. But this time. I think you might want to write it down. And Kevin's like, no, sir, that won't be necessary. Friend. Friend. Yeah.

friend is the one that's right listen friend friend he's quietly stewing and he's getting it's and that was with rosie um rose no no that was with the who's the she had a talk show who i was dating at the time i remember

But what else did I do that was funny? Kevin, I know one of yours that is thematic to this. I don't know if it got on air, but it always stuck in my head. It was the boxer whose

who's really scared, he's backstage, and he keeps getting phone calls from people asking where to park and how to get tickets. I always thought that was a premise. - That was a very common thing in SNL. You spend more time trying to get your friends in, make sure they have their tickets, and they have parking, and you know, whatever. - Where do you go? - When you should be working on your lines and remembering things and talking to wardrobe or whatever. Okay.

The tickets should be down there. They're not down there? Did you check with the usher? Yeah, the guy on the side. No, I got nothing to do. Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. So that was the... I was doing a gig, doing stand-up just two weeks ago and I'm at a restaurant and sometimes you see the people at the restaurant when they're coming to the sold-out theater or whatever it is.

So whatever. It doesn't matter. Go to Ticketmaster. So this table full of like seven is sitting there and a guy goes, Spinner, I'm coming to your show tonight. I go, all right. And then he goes, I guess if you're here, then the show hasn't started. I say, yeah, okay. So we go through those. And then I get up to go.

And I go, all right, here we go. And he goes, hey, we're going to be a while. Can you tell him to keep seven open? I go, me? So I got to go there and like lay across seven seats until you come over. Yeah, that's my job now. Do you remember when we would do the sketch pitch ideas on Monday? Yeah.

- Afternoon at Lorne's office. It was so small, there was like, I don't know, how many of us with Jim and everybody and Al Frank and we could barely fit in there but Lorne insisted that we do in his office and his desk took up like half of the office. And we just all sit around cramped in there and each, we go around the room and Lorne would point and he'd go, "David, what do you have?" And you'd tell your idea, "Diana." And then it would go around and Phil would always be so quiet in those things and I don't know if,

I don't think he pitched an idea much. And then Lorne, I guess he had talked to Lorne privately about his idea or whatever, but he didn't have to pitch because he was always in everything. But didn't you guys do fake pitches? Because if you did a really good pitch on Monday, then it was on Wednesday. Jim had to decide which ones were bullshit when you go, Schneider's like, caveman afraid of caves. Dominic, she'd play the caveman. And...

I did the same pitch. I remember pitching to Christopher Walken and maybe Harvey Keitel too, different shows. I said, my idea is this, Lauren. It's a runaway truck stop, you know, gravel and a steep hill. And there's a bar at the end of it. And I'm the bartender.

and Walken comes in, everybody comes in rattled, you know, and then, you know, it's just, it writes itself after that. - I like it writes itself. - I would pitch that like, you know, all year and every time long ago. - I should explain to the audience that the show,

we gather, you have to have some kind of opening gun to signify, okay, we're, you know, we have to start doing the show. And that would be like Monday evening at like, they became later and later over the years, but they were supposed to be around like five or six o'clock. And like, as Kevin said, that everyone crammed into Lorne's

capacious but not for like 30 people size office and so people would be like sitting each other's laps there were like 12 people on a single couch there and then I had a chair in the because I was the head writer producer and then the host had a chair and we were sort of

you know, the underpaid cast sat on the floor and then they would go around and Laura go, you know, Al, um, and the Al Frank who did the same joke for like, which we all, which would like, um, he'd go like, um, you know, you know, ladies, ladies and gentlemen, this week, you know, Buck Henry next week, Steve Martin. I remember that. Yeah. But, um, the, um,

The most famous thing from, I remember from any host meeting was, you know, he would go through and then he'd finally ask the host, like, Steve, did you have anything you wanted to do? And it was Chris Walken. It was the first time he hosted. And we didn't really know, you know, exactly what he was going to be like. He just sat and stared out the window. He didn't even look at us. But his line, he said those, Chris, did you have anything you wanted to suggest?

"Ape suits are funny." - No. No. - No, no, he said, "Ape suits are funny, bears as well." - No. - Yes, that's right. - That was what he said. - Well, I don't know. The way I remember it, he said, "Bear suits are funny and bears as well." So for an hour, he processed that thought. Bear suits are funny and bears as well.

No, I think it was more like this. Bath suits are funny. But you know what? No, here's what happened with that, I think. If I remember correctly, the Russian circus was playing at Radio City Music Hall across the street. And I think I remember that. And I said, maybe it'd be funny if...

you know, we did something with that because they have bears over there and stuff and maybe some bears says, "Bath suits are funny." But I could be wrong about that. Did he host? He hosted, right?

Yeah, he said, Bale suits are funny, and maybe a Wayne's World. Actually, that week that he was on, I got a cat from him. We started, he, yes. Cat suits are funny, too. No, and I went to his apartment up on the Upper West Side. We started talking about cats, and he had a cat that had some kittens. And I was living with a couple in Brooklyn, and they wanted another cat.

And also we're big fans of Christopher Walken. And then he said, well, you know, I can't do it. But it was like, come on. And I will give you the cat. I was like, OK. And so then I went up there and his wife is the casting director, right? Georgiana Walken. Anyway, she let me in. And then I sat in the living room waiting. It was like this townhouse. And then he came in and said, you've come to get the cat.

And I said, yeah. And he goes, I want to. I wish I could do him. But he goes like him. Yeah. But anyway, he said, this cat is the most the father of this cat.

He died from fucking. And I said, he did? And he said, he got cat AIDS. Because he was such, he loved to fuck. He loved to fuck this cat. And I said, oh, and there's, that was from this cat, and he said, do you want to see a picture of the father? The cat. And I said, yes. And then he left, and he came back with

I'm a cat. And he was like, here is the part of the cat you're getting. This cat couldn't stop fucking. He fucked and fucked. And the cat you're getting is, he was sired by this cat. Yeah. Love it. I like that impression.

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It immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You understand? I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Just don't type.

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There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah. So that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses. Rosetta stone offers for 50% off a steal. And I, and I do think that the off label thing that we're, I'm ad living now going off script is,

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are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up. They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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as usual. And it had two things going on at the same time. And Lorne came up to me. He goes, you know, you've got two different kind of things coming out. I think you need to lose one and have, you know, lose a walk-ins thing and you go tell them tomorrow.

Jim and I were thinking. Jim and I were thinking. And so I told him, and he said, "I don't know why that would happen, "and what is the best way." We'll talk about it tomorrow. And I don't see him for like three days.

And then he comes up to me. It's like we never stop talking. He goes right into the middle of the conversation again. Because, you know, I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. It's like if he went back to his kindergarten, you know, kindergarten reunion. No, I just thought that you were grading on a curve. You know, I didn't know that you were. And he smelled like garlic all the time. Which is good. It's healthy.

You know what Phil sketch I like? Not to bring it back to Phil, but...

Who was there? The one where he was dancing with Jan Hooks. The best! The best! Love is a dream. Oh, Love is a Dream. Come here. Love is a Dream. Who wrote that, Downey? Tom Schiller. Oh, Schiller Vision? Yeah, it's a Schiller. That was a movie. It was a short film. Schiller Vision, while they're screwing around. One of those little Schiller Visions. I have a bad neck, you know. And one of the reasons I figured out is because in one of the things, it wasn't Julia, I don't think.

We were at Central Park and we were paying off a joke where they dropped a bomb somewhere and then two older people are walking wearing old makeup and then they drop a bomb and it hits me on the head. So it's like way later, years later. And so he's above me with a ladder and he goes, this is a fake bomb. It's okay. Like, I think it's a real bomb.

I didn't think it was a real bomb. I just thought it was something heavy. And I go, and you're dropping it really on my head? And he goes, yeah, it'll be fine. I'm new, so I don't want to say anything. Drops this thing on me, cracks my neck. I'm like, oh my God. Concussion protocol. Another take. Another take. Another take. It hurt so bad. It was jamming me like a turtle down. And then I go, is this man out of balsa wood? He's like, no, like steel, iron, and kettle bells glued together. It was so heavy. Mm-hmm.

And there was no thought about it. And then I walked in there going, I wonder if I'll have neck problems for the rest of my life. And have you? Yes. When Jan died and they played that at the end of the show, I was such a mess. Too much. Yeah.

Way to bring the show down, Julia. No, because two of really the greatest, funniest, most wonderful people together. They were so fabulous together. It was the fact that Schiller just decided to cast those two. I mean, the...

I mean, it is an amazing thing to look at. It kind of knocked me for a loop, too. I just feel so sad that we didn't get to know what Phil's career would have been. Like, I would have really enjoyed. Would have been busy. Yeah. You know that one where he gives Farley a hug at the end? I think it's when Chris left?

Was that the very end of the show? Do you remember that, Jim? Oh, yeah. It was when Phil's last show. Was it Phil's last show or Chris's? No, it was Chris's, I think. Chris's last show. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Because everyone was talking about Chris leaving and I was going, I'm also leaving. And everyone's like, oh, let's get a sub-abroad. You get in there. It's like, ah!

- I don't believe it. - Yeah. Julia's like, "No tears, everyone." We can do this. - Yeah, I always wonder about the career Phil would have had too if he went on. I mean, certainly Tom Cruise wouldn't be where he is right now, that's for sure. - Well, you know, it sounds funny, but Phil would have been someone to parachute out of an airplane and hang off things, you know, 'cause of all his hobbies.

He could have been a good Walter White from Breaking Bad. Oh, yeah. I think he could have. I think he had it in him to really do some... You think I'm kidding around with you? No, I'm not kidding around with you. Yeah, I think so. If you're smart, you'll be smart. Jim, you were saying something. No, I was just saying probably... I never know...

What strikes me as like some hot piece of news, everyone in their audience is like, oh, idiot. Yeah, we've known that. I mean, I was always told, and by people who claimed it now, that Phil used to do looping for Jack Nicholson.

Oh, yeah, he did. Yeah. When he did, he said, apparently got so lazy. He didn't want to go in and write and rerecord like a simple voiceover. But the film would come in and do it. Yeah. That's one of the first things he showed me is his. Oh, OK. So he really did it for the movie The Border, I believe. Can I tell a short story? Yeah. Is this so I'm at a par three. Do you have the clip coming up? So do we have a.

I'm at a par three in Studio City with John Lovitz and Phil Hartman. So we wait and then we wave on the next golfer and it's Nicholson. And he hits it out of bounds and hits a car. Anyway, so then he's coming up to us and Phil was very just a gentleman and goes, you know, Mr. Nicholson, I just want to say that I actually dubbed your voice for the movie The Border. And Jack Nicholson said, no wonder it was my only stinker.

- You mean as a joke to be funny. - It was a joke and then we couldn't find John 'cause he just got attached to Jack Nicholson. Where's John? We can't see off. - He went up his ass. - And how do you do it? Is it the method or what are you thinking? - I'm gonna follow you home. - Don't worry, he's one of my best friends. We talked today, he knows how I teach. Any final thoughts? - I remember one time,

I did a movie with Sandler called Anger Management. A couple of people remember? Nicholson. Anyway, I played a lawyer and Nicholson was in the scene. It was a courtroom. And I'm doing the scene as a lawyer, just throwing a tennis ball at somebody or something. And then Sandler told me that Nicholson came up to him like a year later and he goes, how's that lawyer friend of yours doing? He thought I was a real lawyer. Yeah.

It's called acting. Acting. That's how good. Yep.

You're wrapping up the whole Phil thing? To sum up, yeah. We've done a lot of Zooms. It's going to be a two-parter. Two-part episode. We've just shined a light on Phil's greatness. Jim, anything else you look at there? We love him and we miss him. I always read his stories. I'm still reading that tiny piece of paper. Well, it's reminding me of things. I mean, I was... His...

The best use of Jesus ever on the show. The receptionist. And this is about? Yeah, and this is regarding. And Phil? And by the way, Phil was, apart from a lot of other things, he was

Very devout Catholic. And to a surprising degree, I remember he... Julia, comment? This isn't a criticism, but... I'm surprised to hear this. I never knew that. But he was. Oh, he got very upset when Sinead O'Connor ripped up the... He was? He got upset, especially when he had written... The Pope didn't care. I know him. So, go ahead. He was fine with it.

But no, I remember Phil kind of shocking us. Al and I had written something for a debate piece. We were playing David Brinkley, and it wasn't an important piece.

thing and the scheme of things but it was just sort of surprising that and he had never had objected to anything before um but it was about um remember i don't know for those old enough to remember david brinkley he used to do editorials uh as part of the news and and his thing was he was kind of a sour kind of seen it all kind of

David Brinkley, yeah, he just sounded weird. But he was supposed to... What was entertaining about him was he was so cynical. So it was just him commenting. It's like Peter Jennings, played by Tom Hanks, turning to David Brinkley for commentary. And it was just like... It ended up in this thing about...

you know, life is just, you know, this awful veil of misery and it ends with we're food for worms, you know. And Phil practically refused to do it, not because it wasn't funny. It wasn't particularly funny, actually, as it happens. But it was, it's just that he just found it really upsetting the way it dealt with

you know, the view of life or something. And it was religious. His objection to it was religious. And I never, I mean, you know, it's like when he told me, and maybe you guys know this, when I was in college, I was a big fan of a group called Poco, which was formed out of

Buffalo Springfield, one of an offshoot and Phil designed their album covers. In an earlier career, he was a graphic designer and I actually totally remembered the cover of the album he described because it's one, it's a thing with a cabinet where you're seeing a collection of curious and I go, yeah, I know what there's like a seashell and the thing. Yeah, that's the one. My wife went to see America a couple of weeks ago and, uh, I didn't go. And, uh,

I was... You should have gone. I was doing something. You were riding a horse with no name? Sorry. That's all I got. That's what I said. I said, you know, Phil Hartman designed the cover for America, that famous album with the three of them in the front. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, she's 30 years younger than me, so she didn't know. No, she... But it was cool. You know, she does things with you that she doesn't want to do particularly. It seems...

Seems to me once in a while. That is true. That is true. No, I just had surgery so I couldn't walk actually.

- I forgot that part. - That makes sense. - But I just wanna say Phil had such an incredible design sense, like the way his house looked, like how things were designed or what the colors were on the wall. Like he really-- - Office too. - He was great with that. Like he had so many side stand that-- - His office was the most tidiest office ever. - Right. - I mean, you walk in there and Dennis Miller's too. Maybe I'm thinking of Dennis. - Yeah, Dennis! - Maybe it's Dennis.

But I remember going to Phil Hartman's house the first time here and he just had one chair in front of the living room. He only had one chair in it and a TV. I was like, so you'd never have anyone over? It was just one chair. But it was beautiful. It was so specifically designed just for him. Are there any clips of Phil we haven't seen? I don't think so. 27 of them. I think we showed one. Those are all the sketches he did? Well, I'm...

unfrozen caveman is probably the most famous yeah yeah i mean so jack handy for my money best writer uh writer writer uh ever in the show what was um had a special um he had a special connection with phil and and he just um he's the one who created unfrozen caveman lawyer and and um

um that he wrote tunes but he also wrote the um the chef he wrote the charlton heston soylent green oh yeah remember the yeah yeah yeah of the he had a great charlton heston yeah that was one of the fun what was the chef he did that anal retentive that was bonnie and terry turner oh that was so good those are funny as hell and the peter graves thing

Phil wrote that. That was a piece he actually wrote. What about the acting teacher that goes, you're here, you're not here? What is it? This is something, this is nothing. This is something, this is nothing. I was told it was based on an actual acting teacher. It's when he hosted. Yeah. When he hosted...

i have to work during chris katan will ferrell this is not yeah so funny how did it go again i just saw it the other day it's not so this was nothing or something this side this one's something that's something this isn't that's okay i get it i get it i get it yeah makes sense to me you have to see it

Well, we're going to take a short break and we won't be back. I remember this is one last funny bit.

Whenever I would come into 30 Rock and I'd see Phil getting off the elevator, we would talk like we were two advertising executives. Every time. It was just like our way of greeting each other. Ted, how you doing? I'm doing well. Hey, Trudy's up in R&D. Why don't you go on up there and tell her we need some AR down for this Colgate. I'll do that. I'll do that, Walter. Otherwise, we'll see you down tomorrow at the Squasset meeting.

It's just stupid stuff like that. And it's got no real ending to this, but it's a strong start. I remember witnessing that. Yeah. Yeah. I remember when Downey get mad if you go, hand me that Johnson file. If you made it too corny in a sketch, you had to make it more specific. Yeah. I like the way we finish big. We're finishing big. I like that. We're finishing big. This is called a fizzle ending.

We have editing capabilities. This will be, no one will ever see this part. One last question. Jesus. You recognize me. You can't just die in a vine. There's a second show. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

House Guest, I remember. All right, take it easy. He did a lot. House Guest. Jingle All The Way. So he didn't do a lot of films, right? Jingle All The Way. Huh? Jingle All The Way? Jingle All The Way. He would have worked and worked and worked and worked and worked. He would have been nonstop working. Oh, yeah. When live streaming came, he couldn't, I mean, he could have done like 10 shows at once with his range of...

And one last thing. Something, nothing. Nothing? This is nothing. Okay. They should be rolling the credits at this point. Okay, well, we're going to read a couple ads for Instacart right now. Yeah, we'll do some live ads. Manscaped is masterclass. What was Madonna book on tape? That was the third one. It took you that long? He's looking at a post-it that is two inches. Madonna, what does it say?

I didn't remember the Madonna. The staff left 20 minutes ago. I mean, I don't think anyone's really back there. Is Madonna on book on tape? This turns out Chipotle is. Sex by Madonna. Text by Charlton Heston. Age 63. I like my vagina. Sometimes I stare at it in the mirror when I'm undressing it.

and wonder what it would look like without any hair. Yeah, I think so. All right, you guys. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks.

Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.