Tony Hawk
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it.

Oh, by the way, I'm at the Venetian with Nikki Glaser. If anyone's interested, I'm there again end of September and I'm there in November. So if you want to beep bop over to that, click a few links and buy a few ticks. I will be at Leonardo's Pizza Place in Sherman Oaks next Friday. Okay. That's a noon show. I'm going to go to Knott's Berry's Farm. Yeah, that'll be a noon show. I'm going to be at Knott's Berry's Farm on the water slide ride on August 19th. Letting people on the ride? Yeah.

August 19th. Well, yeah, I do sometimes moonlight. Oh, that's the carnival stuff I do. It's another time. I will be doing a organizing the midget tossing exposition in Loveland, Nevada on the Riverboat Casino.

I would be face down in a pile of my own goose early Sunday morning. Your own goo? Yeah, face down in a pile of my own goo. That's what I tell people. No, I'm not going to drink that much. How was the drinking last night? Great. I woke up face down in a pile of my own goo. That doesn't sound good. You know what, David? Tony Hawk. Flash observation. No one has ever woken up and said, damn, I forgot to do shooters last night.

A lesson for you hard drinkers. No one's ever woken up. I didn't get fucked up last night. I should have drank more. Yeah. Drank. David, Tony Hawk is a friend of yours. That's all. David, can I just say this before we start? Tony Hawk, we'll cut this. We started. We'll cut it. No, whatever. David, because I was mentioning you to someone recently.

who'd seen Police Academy go, like he was a national class skateboarder. That's what they said. Or a really, really good skateboarder. That I was? Yep. That's what they said. I hope that's out there. It's fucking live. So you were really good at...

But brings us to our person we want to introduce. Well, Tony is a freak of nature at skating. I was blessed to be in a movie with him because I'm in Arizona, like what they call it, a beater. It's a guy that just pretends to be like a surfer or skater. But I was kind of good medium. But Tony, they were so good. And I read about these guys. Suddenly they're on the movie with me.

And that was police Academy for stayed in touch with him. He did that video game. He talks about that, that blew him up. He still skates. He still gets hurt. He sells neck trouble. Like I do taking those falls so many times. I don't know how he still does it, but unbelievable. And he's still tough as shit.

It's a hard job to be a pro skater. He still gets in and gets dirty. He's competitive. I mean, he is driven. I think he sees the new guys and goes, fuck this. Like, I'm still good. He competes with himself. He just still wants to grab. But he will break down. This is one of my favorite parts of this podcast. What it's like to go up those giant ramps and you're going upside down. And what you're thinking. What are you thinking? Where you have to grab? How do you not get killed by doing that?

I admire daredevils. I mean, I once jumped off a six foot thing into a lake and I never did it again. I never did it again. I never did it again. Let me tell you. When you do those ramps, when you're up there doing half pipes in the middle of the trick, it's about a second and away when you're doing your next trick. So once you realize you've completed it and you're starting to land, you have to think, where do I go for the next trick?

And then how do I get my weight shifted? Then you go up and then you go, oh, this one, this one. I have to land here because I have to go to the corner and jump the fucking gap. It's so crazy. And they do eight, 10 tricks in a row. And I can't believe the thinking that goes on. You got to do it so many times. So we're going to talk all about his career as a... Is he the GOAT? Is he kind of the GOAT? He's the known GOAT all time of skateboarders. There's Tiger Woods, there's Gretzky. There's some that are sort of...

Nobody argues. And that's his real name, I understand, because it is kind of the coolest name if you're trying to brand things for like eight-grade kids. Tony Hawk. And he, incredibly nice guy, really, really smart about anything to do with flying around on a skateboard. And as an entrepreneur, he is a brand. He's a global brand. And he had just done his first thing on SNL when we talked.

Yes. Tied it all together. He was on SNL for seven seconds. Therefore, he's part of our podcast. Sorry. Now you're on. It's called Slim Connections episode. You fucked up. You're on our show now. If you've heard of Lorne Michaels, you qualify as a guest. Apply now. If you've ever said the word Saturday and live in the same day, you can be on fly on the wall. If you know what these three words mean, you're going to be a guest.

This is a bit off subject, but because I'm a great guy and I have great guy syndrome, I think for actresses, I don't think it's fair that every article they're like, Mimi Rogers, 67.

They always put their name and then their age. And I do not know why. Do they fail to do that with men? They do it for men too, but I think it's mostly women. And that's when I notice it and I go, why does that matter? And that should be eradicated because it doesn't matter. You can look it up if you want to know, right? I think they'll eradicate it if we look up anything at this point. I mean, I can't believe they're still doing that when they don't do anything else. It's like,

that one seems a little more. David, let's put a, let's put a billboard and say, stop putting the ages of women in Texas. I got a lot of time in life, especially in the acts world. Like if you're thinking of hiring someone that just in the back of your head, you go, Oh,

That's the right age. Oh, no, that feels... Whatever. It sends a weird message immediately and it doesn't need to be in an article. I know. Anyway, thanks for coming by, Tony. Take it easy. Thank you. You're free to look at my age. Tony Hawk, who turns 27 tomorrow. I don't want to blame Tony for this, but he's...

You know, the age thing, one is always gives a sense of humor about it. And I have a dermatologist who's, I think he's like 85. I said, how old are you? He goes, I'm 106. That's a standard answer. That's a good way to say it. Just to say it's high. He's the guy who checked my skin and he had a woman with a clipboard and he kept going, age-related. He's got a microscope. Age-related. Do you have to say age-related? Can I have something? Age-related. Age-related.

Dude, I went to- Anyway, I've done that on this podcast before. Dane, I went to catch one. I'm ready now. Tony, we might not get to you, but I'm just going to tell you. I listen to the show anyway, so I'm just here fascinated. You know how it works. You know it's going to come to you. We have so many questions for you. It's going to be a two-parter. So I go to this-

high-end restaurant, Koi. And Koi, which is basically sponsored by us. 72. I think I saw you at Koi. Koi's back in the day. Yeah. They moved it. When people were like hovering with cameras over the- Oh, it was very paparazzi-ish, yeah. Yeah, that's where I got caught was Koi's. And then Ketch took them. Or Craig's. So this guy was there and he goes, hey, this is my buddy. He's a plastic surgeon. He works in town and-

And he's already looking at me. And I was, of course, a little buzzed naturally because it was nighttime. So I had a little loud mouth soup. Your son goes down and you're like a werewolf. I go, guh, guh, guh, guh, guh, guh, guh. I get that little humming review. So I get on there and I go, and I'm just standing at his table. So I go, the worst question. What would you do to me? And he like slowly looks at me like Robocop. I go, no, no, no. And he goes, well,

And I go, no. And he goes, listen, here's a lot of bullet points. If you want just the top nine things that are like no brainers. These are things that are not even negotiable. No, Dana, I'm not going to say because I want to go, oh yeah, yeah. Because.

Because- We would disagree. Oh, no. No, you can't. You have to just, you have to roll with it. You just get nice work. Good work. That's the key. Good work. So people just don't know you got work. Well, Tony, let's get- I see. I'm looking at you, Tony. Yeah. Tony and I are about the same- When is that happening? We're about the same age. Can you, do you have that guy's number? No, this guy, honestly, he was like, listen, I'll do it on the house. This has to be done. He's on Instagram. By noon tomorrow.

Cutters like to cut. I'll tell you that. Face guys don't go, oh, you don't need anything. They go, we can get in there and dig around a little bit. This is all natural. I've been here since Eisenhower's first administration. I won't give my age, but I'll just say I was on this earth with these hands and these feet since the mid-50s. Voting for Calvin Coolidge. Look how good I look now. Tony, let's talk about. Do all right. There's so many places to ask, but I want to know, just because I was talking about Vicodin and how I only get plastic surgery for Vicodin.

I don't need it. I don't need this. I had crazy surgery. I took a Vicodin and hated it. I liked Advil much better. Ooh, the minority. Hey, Advil, if you're listening. I know, like when the doctor goes, so you broke your leg. You'll want to really pump the Advil. I go, the what? Yeah. How fucking dare you? Funny you say that because I broke my leg in March a year ago tomorrow.

Yeah, this is actually a good story. Where's the celebration? No, no. Can I get details on that? No, this is a good story because I know what happened. But I did. I was laying there on my ramp with my leg. Was it the femur? The femur, yeah. What was the trick? McTwist? It's always a McTwist. It's always a McTwist. Were you by yourself? I was not. But my friend, my good friend Kevin came over about five minutes later with two Advil.

Jesus Christ. I'll never forget that. Well, that. All right. Thanks. I might do an opioid at that point, you know, but so was it, was it particularly scary? It seems like a lot of times people get hurt when it's like perfunctory, but they're just not as zoned in as much. Dude, your fucking thigh. It was a trick that I have done tens of thousands of times. Okay. And I didn't have enough speed going into it. And I knew that full well, but.

I was always able to figure that out, adjust for it. In the air. And-

I guess at age 54, that's the time when you can no longer adjust for it so easily. And next thing I know, I'm just sliding through the flat part of my ramp with my leg. I could feel it just dangling. And I looked up at another friend of mine. I go, I broke my leg. And he's like, what? And then I grabbed it and I put it back in place instinctually. I can't believe what I'm hearing. But then in that moment, I knew like, oh, I'm so fucked.

Like I can't, I can't move. I can't do anything. I want to rewind this whole moment in time, but. Did you hear it as well?

Or did it pop? It was all very chaotic, the fall. So then you kind of realize- I'm not really sure how it happened, but I don't remember hearing it pop. I just felt it disconnect. Wow. And what do you, what did they do with that? Do you have a metal rod down your finger? I do, yeah. Okay. How much did that cost? You know what's funny? I looked at the hard costs of it because I thankfully have insurance. It's a lot, it's more than a house.

Really? Yeah. By the way, who was insuring you? The home's in my area anyway, not where you guys live. Who do you get your insurance from? I mean, my God, it was like- Bobby's Healing and Band-Aids on Ventura. Where did you- Oh, SAG. SAG. SAG. Oh, SAG. Blue Cross. Anthem. How is it now?

Well, I went through eight months of recovery and got back on my skateboard much too soon. I watched this whole thing on Instagram play out. And it never connected. My bone never connected because I was so active on it. So you rushed it a little bit and it never grew together. Yeah. And I kept thinking like, it's going to happen. It's going to happen. And then at some point I realized that I'm just in pain all the time. I mean, like I would have to take a painkiller to get through an airport.

And I go, this doesn't feel right for eight months in. I went and got x-rays and realized the bone had moved further away from where it was when it got fixed. Because you were too active? I was too active. So...

I came up here to a specialist and he's the specialist in non-union fractures, which means it never formed a union. And he put it straight and sent me on my way and I've been taking it slow and I'm finally back on my skateboard the way I used to. Your bone wouldn't cross union lines? One year later. What's that?

I wouldn't cross the ticket line. I'm supposed to get a hip replacement at some point. Let's do it. Let's do it. I heard those are very effective and quick healing. 55 minutes open to close. Yeah. I've been avoiding it for seven years, Tony, because they take a saw and saw off the top of your femur.

Sandler just did. I heard it's awesome. I would rather go through that than my femur issue. No, no, yours would be much worse. People who do it always say, I should have done this a long time ago. I like to wait and kind of suffer. It's part of my personality. David's like that too. But I'm inspired by your healing, you know, because at 24, you know, things heal faster. Yes. Yeah, I learned that too. You're full court. You're fully around now.

I'm on my way. I'm not, I can't say I'm fully back to where I was. You're not going to push it, are you? Doesn't your wife say don't push it anymore because you're going to break it again? She is concerned that I am getting a little too ambitious and confident with it. So I have been taking it

As slow as I can. Let's put it that way. I'm much more aware of it this time. You're like, you're still kind of the old gunslinger in a way. I mean, you're the guy who invented the sport, basically, in some ways. Oh, well, thank you, Louie. Everything I read, it's just Tony Hawk and you're an icon. I mean, right? Yeah, and everyone's sick of it. No, I appreciate it. Thank you. You're attached to the sport. Everyone's sick of it. You got a point there. But there's a lot of people on our podcast. I'm like, when is he just going to quit and go away? My wife loves this podcast.

And she'll know enough about you just through our sons that did that. And I just for a second before we get into all the questions I have. So the beginning, because I was reading, you know, about your high IQ and you were sort of a difficult, like, because I'm interested in what kind of brain, not even your physical gifts, becomes brilliant at something.

At age 12, 9, 12? Yeah, it was, honestly, it was just being obsessive and determined to a point of like to a fault because when I was a kid, I just was so, I wanted to do certain things and I didn't have the body for it or whatever, but I was always fired up. Couldn't do football. I couldn't do football. I didn't play football, but baseball, basketball. I'm saying I could do a little bit of that. Like I was thinking what other sports you're good at because I couldn't do everything and I went to skateboarding because

In Arizona. It was that. Yeah. Well, skateboarding is a culture too, which we'll talk about. I mean, it's more than a sport. And then once I started doing it, I kind of fell in love with the misfit aspect because I never really felt like I fit in with my schoolmates. So are you saying to me that, are you saying, Tony, that you may not have absolute physical gifts-

Like someone who could just, Larry Bird got a basketball and just came to him right away. Eddie Van Halen got his son, his son, his brother's guitar, sat on the bed at 8 a.m. and played till midnight. Right. It just spoke to him. So when you got on the board, it just spoke to you. It spoke to me, but in no way was I a natural. A natural. You would do that. I would just do it, but I would just do it endlessly. Like I would go, I would go from school to the skate park.

Stay there until my mom got off work at the, she worked at community college at 8 or 9 p.m. And then she'd have to drag me away until they turned the lights off. Did you ever annoy them? Because bad skateboarding kids are really loud. Like they're constantly falling and banging. It's not a very relaxing thing as a parent watching bad skateboarders. You didn't have steel wheels. You weren't that far back, were you? Not that far back. Did you have a yellow freeform with a split tail? No.

No, but geez, what's going on, man? Or a bane. I,

I did have a, Bane was my first board. Okay. Okay. You like that, Dane? What? You like that shit? Bane? Yeah. Okay. Let me go back to- This guy's legit. Let me go back to more Larry King type stuff. Yeah, I do. So there you are. No, I have a psychological- But we want to get into the weeds of urethane and clay wheels. We have a psychological question for him. My son had a, when I was just talking on the way over here, he had, you just had a comment. He wanted you to comment on, this is jumping ahead a little bit, the turf war at a skate park.

between the BMXers, the rollerbladers, and the skaters, even though it's called a skate park. Okay. So will you comment, please, on that, Mr. Hawk? I'd say rollerbladers lose. So I got lucky in that I was sort of a generation before that was happening. And at some point, I got very lucky that I was still skating when rollerblading started to be on the rise because...

I was struggling to make a living at skateboarding and I got to be the special guest at roller blade shows.

Like, this is a rollerblade show, but we got special guest skateboarder Tony Hawk here. Thank God. That was paying my mortgage, literally. So I never had the beef. I saw it. I saw it playing out and people were whatever, having bad stereotypes with everything. But I love everyone. You're like the godfather though. So if they see you, do you win because you're a skater? And they're like, oh, the fucking king is here. I don't... It's more that...

I grew up too. Not that I grew up, but eventually I was in all the X Games and doing all that. And then we were all sort of brethren, the BMXers, even the inliners and the skateboarders, because we rode the same terrain and we were all sort of coming up together. So I didn't feel that turf war, like you said. I will say that it's tricky when you have

A lot of BMXers and a lot of skateboarders are skateboarders because BMXers are silent. Oh, you can't see them coming. You get hit. You don't hear them coming. Right. Because the rubber tires and everything. Yeah. Yeah. So that can be an issue. And so I think that there's a good... Some skate parks assign certain days for bikes and certain days for skateboarding. I think that helps. It seems to me as a layman that the rollerblader has the device attached to his feet, right?

The BMXer is hanging on to the device. Right. And the skateboard guy has to stand on the fucking thing. And it's like, seemed much harder. Yeah, there's some apples to oranges there, I gotta say. I guess. I mean, I would, I was such a baby. That was when there were steel wheels back in the 60s. A really steep hill. Yeah. I'd sometimes just sit on the fucking thing. We used to catamaran down some hills. Oh, yeah. At the Wedge in Arizona.

And big wipeouts at the end when you catamaran with your friend. And then it's almost fun to wipe out. Yeah, we would do it down really steep grass hills just so that we knew, because we knew we were going to wipe out. Yeah. And then we just come up with a grass hill. So you might live. Yeah, exactly. I actually wiped out at High Roller. I'll tell you that in a second. High Roller Skate Park. Can we just finish off this young Tony for a second? Just your...

you were just a quirky kid. You weren't a natural athlete. You've, you got ahold of a skateboard from, from someone in the neighborhood or you're nine years older, older brother. Yeah. And then it just spoke to you. You became possessed. Yes. And then within zest is good. Yes. Within three years of that, you were world-class or where were at 12. It was something there. 14. You were such a quantum leap. I, I started skating around age 10 and then got really into it. As I dove into it completely, um,

it took a downturn in popularity. So really sort of like at the time when I was really starting to come into my own and fall in love with it, it was all, the world was crumbling away around me. Um, and so I got sponsored at age 12 by Dogtown Skateboards, which, um,

didn't really mean a whole lot. It just meant that sometimes they would send me free skateboards. That was pretty much it. And then I moved up. - So no money. - No, no money. - Sponsor, I never knew what that meant, but I thought Dogtown was the coolest one. - Free gear. - Free gear. And then that moved me up to the sponsor division and that kind of lit a fire because suddenly I was skating with people who are much more advanced and I had to figure out how to navigate that. And then I rose to the top of the amateur ranks

within two years and then I actually turned pro at age 14. But when you turn pro, what that means is I was filling out an entry form to the competition and there's your name and address and then there's a box that says amateur and the box says pro. So I checked the pro box. That was the only difference? That was it. Do you remember the first time you made money? That was competing for $100 first place. 75 second, 50 for third. I got fourth.

So no money? No money. Do you remember your first check for doing this or? My first check was 50 bucks when I got third place. 50 bucks. Yeah. I got paid $3 for my first set. Ooh. You got money for your first set? That's pretty rare. Rob Williams was there. I think we, it was $10. I think he took seven. I took three. Her. Her. $7.30. Oh, $7. Do you want to be famous? I asked him. Oh, I just want to play for the people. Never forgot that. Oh, you're playing pretty well. God rest his soul. Good friend. Anyway, Tony.

That's remarkable. How are your parents reacting to this? And your brother, are you, is there a sibling thing? Like Tony's a superstar. Well, he was, he was, he is 13 years older than me. So he was in college and just kind of watched it. Well, he was there sometimes, but.

My parents, I think they saw what it provided me just in terms of my sense of self and self-confidence and finally kind of focusing all of my energy and frustrations onto that instead of them. So they were thankful and they were supportive and there were very few parents were supportive. Yeah.

Because of the danger of it or just because of the culture of it. The stigma, the culture. You're a surfer dude. And you weren't going to go to school. Yeah. Even though there's a rumor you're smart, but we have no proof. It says here your IQ is 144. 144. Maybe at one point. You're at least half as high as that. Yeah, mine's half. He's incredibly smart. He's a chess champion. That was his thing. That's what I got off of that to go into skateboarding, which was a mistake. Some of us didn't go pro, Tony. Yeah.

Didn't get four. So you got paid $50. Yeah. And then, um, eventually got my own skateboard model. And that's when I started receiving real checks, royalty checks for between four and $5 a month.

- Four and five a month, that's not too bad. $4.85 was-- - Did you design it or how did you get your own model? - I designed the shape of it and then my sponsor, Pal Peralta, they designed the graphics of it. But then something happened in the mid '80s where suddenly skateboarding kind of came around again and I found myself in high school making six figures from royalties on those skateboards.

So you're already an entrepreneur. You're a businessman already as you're a superstar athlete. Yeah, I didn't see it that way. But were other kids doing it as well? Did you have other dudes or women in the school that were doing it? Not in school, no. That was the weird thing is that there was this resurgence of skateboarding. It was popular, but not –

A mainstream or widespread popularity. So I was still the outcast at school. I literally would hide my skateboard in the bushes when I go to school because people would hassle me if I carried around. They would yell skater fact.

Yeah. And I was pro. I was pro and I was traveling to places like Florida, to places like Phoenix to go to these big events and sign autographs and then come to school. And I was a ghost. Can I ask you just a technical question? Yes. Because it would seem to me when I watch gymnasts and stuff that you growing to six foot three, is that an advantage, disadvantage or neutral? Yeah.

In terms of doing upside down flips, you have to have a bigger, you know, the math of that. When did you get to 6'3"? Not till I was in my late teens. So you're becoming a brilliant skateboarder and you're growing. And so you're adapting your revolutions to that height. Yeah. And I was still very flexible when I got tall. So it was to an advantage because I finally was able to get speed.

and get more height. And because I could ball up, I could still do those spins and things, but at greater heights. So your height, the gap in speed. It helped me, yeah. I can't say it's helped me into my older age, but it definitely helped me. Interesting, okay. David? Okay, my psychological question. I'm the layman, he's a skateboard. Now,

When you grew up in San Diego, and what was the park in Carlsbad? Was it Big O? What's that? So there was Oasis Skate Park in San Diego. And then that closed. And then Del Mar Skate Ranch was the last park in that area. Okay. So let's say Tony's- Do you remember Vans? Do you remember Vans? Yeah. Yeah, that's much later. For one of my kids' birthdays, I-

bought the place. Which one? Ontario or Orange? It was like Milpitas or something. South Peninsula. Yeah. Vans. That made him the coolest kid in school. That was a good part. Yeah. This year, Dell Technologies' back-to-school event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose.

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Now, let's say, because I did get to golf with Tiger Woods, let's say he's the best in golf. That's sort of generally known. And you are, let's say, generally known as the best skater. Is it something in you that makes you not want to give up, number one, because you still skate? You don't really have to skate anymore. You could stop. Yeah, well, I never did it for fame or fortune. You still like it. But those things weren't even...

- No, I have the same. I asked my wife, did I ever talk about being rich or famous? Never. I was in the club and I just wanted to be the best guy in that club. So I totally relate to that. - But in skateboarding, no one was rich or famous when I started. - Yeah. - No one could aspire to. What do you aspire to? I don't know, I'm gonna be pro. - No one's making money. - You get that $100 check and your picture in the magazine. And so that was never the motivation. And so having come this far and having success I would have never dreamed,

I still just want to skate. I mean, it really is. But do you want to push it that hard? You're the first superstar of skateboarding. I think I've turned a corner on that, to be honest. I mean, you've proven everything, but I guess it's still fun to be like, you're still as good as everyone. We go to comedy clubs, you still want to do as good as these guys. You know, it's the same thing. Yeah, I can't. That's the thing though. I can't phone it in.

And everyone's watching you. Yeah. And so if I were to feel like I'm not really of a professional level, I wouldn't do it in public or on camera. Yeah. But I'm still doing it. I still walk the walk. I totally relate to what you're saying. When I go to do a day, I can't help it. I just want to dominate.

But it's not in an unfair way. Like you have your peers. Just to do, but to do your personal best. Yeah, yeah. Not because you want to destroy everyone else. No, no. But it becomes a de facto comedy competition sometimes. And there's a lot of subjectivity to it when 10 guys go on. And we're supposed to be just hanging out at the comedy store doing our sets. But it's always like, you had the best setter. He couldn't follow you. It's a gunslinger thing. Right. But it's not as much with Dave and I. Well, I did enjoy you guys after Chris Rock.

Oh, you saw that? I saw that, yeah. Did you sense the awkwardness? Because we were Caucasians. No, I think you guys handled it very well. I didn't want anyone to figure that out, but they did right away. Well, they were, yeah, it was good. We were there to facilitate, but, you know, I can't join in on those conversations. No, but I thought you guys did a good job moderating it. Well, we wanted a joke. First of all, we liked everybody there. The panel was cool. We hung with them all day. I love JB. JB's funny. He's hysterical. He came out of his shell that night. Yeah.

You know what? For the first time, he lit. You finally opened him up. He was poking and prodding. Yeah. He lit his cigar backstage. He'd held it for 20 years. That's right. That went so good, I'm going to light this up. I said, JB, you are smooth. Because that's my name. Arsenio's smooth. He was nice. We've known Chris for...

David's especially close with Chris, but known him since 1990. Yeah. And that was sort of how it came about. Like we had a podcast. We're always together. We're together anyway. SNL. It's Chris. We're all buddies. Let's put a panel together. Let's, I guess they want to make the event bigger. So why not? We'll talk about it, but there's some stuff in there. If I had some heavy controversial opinions, I would say them. I, but I didn't really, I just watched the jokes, liked them, said a few funny things, but when it got really heavy, I,

I don't want to comment. I mean, I want to let them talk. And that was why we're all there. I had the same thesis, but it happened to Chris and he owned it and expanded it. But I thought it was always about something else, that anger with the wife. I mean, it was pretty obvious, but he laid it out perfectly. And what was fascinating to me is that

very rarely does the world watch quote unquote the world. And we all know the story. Oh yeah. We all saw the slap and all the reaction. And then a year later, we have a guy who got connected to it in such a way because Chris doesn't flub lines. But I think the emotion was so strong at that moment, which made it better because it was live and real that this was a more than a mic drop. He was working some stuff out.

And, you know, I just wonder casually, is this over now? I mean, me and Dana- We'll be another special next year. We've all been bullied. Me and Chris used to talk about it. I was pushed around Arizona. I was always a pipsqueak. And I hated it. And Chris hated it. And I'm sure Dana got a little bit of it. Well, no, no, way more. When you get older. I got bullied by-

A grown man. Your family. Knocked out and shit. Yeah. Yeah. And so when you get like that, I can see when things like that set you off. Road rage shit. Because people try to fuck with me. They'll hit on a date right in front of me. They'll go, oh, this guy going to say anything? Or they'll say that, you're not going to do shit. And that anger builds up over your whole life. And so Chris getting that

on stage at the Oscars, in my head, I was like, I don't know if I could continue life. It'd just be, it's so humiliating. And then you don't fight back. Should I have shit? So you go on and on. And Will, I thought got off pretty easy because he,

Banning from the Oscars is one thing, but banning from getting an Oscar, I thought, should be stronger. For a couple years. He doesn't have to go to the silly award show. Who cares? Go to the Vanity Fair party. Just wait and watch people walk in. They'll bring it in on a platter. Yeah, I saw him there after the Vanity Fair party. Then I saw Chris at Gaios. And Chris was pretty cool.

So I saw Chris the next morning. Where were you? I was staying up here and I saw him at breakfast. Oh, you did? Yeah. And he was alone at a table and I just came in. He's always alone. Well, tell us what you said to him. I just said, I thought that you handled that like a maestro. And, um,

He said, yeah, I don't think that had anything to do with me. But he already had a clear piece of, you know. Yeah, he has his own history with that family. It's smart to sit on that, basically. Sit on it for a year. A year, yeah. It's got driving crazy, but at least he let it all out. It was great. I feel like he's... I think that was a literal mic drop. I don't think he got it all out. I don't think he has anything else to say. Right, right. But I hope it continues. People have said to David and I, if we had a real feud, this podcast would blow up. Right.

No, we're trying. Ooh. So I'm trying to find a way to get mad at him, but he's pretty mellow. You want to be part of it? It's a wedge here. Let's see. He's pretty mellow. How do I do that? I'm trying to work up anger, but I just can't. You're very wedgy. I want to have credit for that. No, but what you say about bullying, I mean, and in our day, it was, you just, you got picked on. Yeah.

They're always picking on me. You know, we pick on him. That was totally accepted. Yeah. There were no resources. And a lot of it is not grandiose. Like a lot of it is just the guy in the locker room just takes the back of your neck and just quickly just pushes you down to the floor. They used to. It's not always. You're going to do nothing. Because I was so small, they would pick me up in the hallway and spin me around once.

By the way, nothing more humiliating. Now that's why you were so great doing 360. You got to thank the guys. Let's go, wait, let's go two and a half this time. I was working up to a 900. Tony Hawk became brilliant because of bullies who would flip him, throw him in the air, throw him across the room, roll him down the hill. But when you're on a skateboard, you go, no one's trying to hit me.

I don't think you get picked up like I do. When people pick me up at a party, I fucking flip out. And to this day, it happens. I go, if you pick me up, we're dead for life. We're not friends ever again. It's like the most humiliating asshole move. I would get picked up too. Yeah, and they'd throw you against the locker. I had a girl pick me up. And that was my mom. That's it. After I came in my pants, I said, this is over. Surprise ending.

A happy surprise. So, Tony. Well, Tony. Tony. You know, let's ask him about the movie we did. We have to talk about that. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, I just... Oh, go ahead. You got something else to say? I'm still so fascinated how... Well, just to make one casual observation. Very cool. The sport is...

went fallow for a while. Yeah. You come up, you're emerging right as the sport is going. And so you're the first that, I don't know if there's a second or there are these after superstars, but to the casual observer, you are skating. Yes. Who,

How many people, their name is a brand. It's funny because I don't know. I know skating. I know some names, but- It's synonymous. Tony Hawk. To equate with Tony at that level, I don't think it's- Well, I can tell you, I credit a lot of that for a successful video game. Oh, that's right. Because your name was- Because our game- In huge letters. Had huge success. They're gigantic. That was where you made the most money, right? Oh, yeah. And they're still out there. And so people would-

see my name synonymous with a successful video game. So that kind of added to the recognition factor. Well, that's the cool thing is that you're the video game guy and then you're still actually the best guy who can physically do it. Doesn't always happen. So that's so much power. So how did the video game quickly, how did that come about? They approached you, you got to a certain level and a company approached you and were you in on the design of it and so forth and so on?

So I was actually working with a PC programmer who came to me and said, hey, I have an idea for a skateboard game. Nerd. What's that? Nerd, nerd. We were two nerds. Nerd alert. Literally knocking on doors. We were going to console manufacturers. We were going to software companies and saying, how old are you?

So this was like around 97, 96, 97. So you're huge though at that point, right? Yeah. Well, there's sort of a gap in skating's popularity in the early 90s. So it went underground very much so and that's kind of when street skating emerged. Okay. So this game, they don't come to you fully formed. They say go with us. So you're pursuing to put it together. Well, no, what happened was this...

he and I went to meetings and we just got shut down everywhere we went. They said, skateboarding is not popular. Classic. Why would anyone want to play a skateboarding game? Okay. And at the time there weren't

that many home consoles. There were some, but not, it wasn't. Did you go to Nintendo or Atari? No, so he gave up. He got frustrated. Okay. And he actually told me, he said, look, I got to find a job, but I feel like we've made some headway in terms of putting your name out there that you're interested in doing this and then maybe something will come of that. And I remember thinking, yeah, okay, buddy, sure. And then almost a year later, Activision called me and said, hey, we heard you want to do a video game.

I said, well, yes, very much so. And they said, well, we are doing a video game of skateboarding and we'd like your input or to see if you want to get involved. So I went up to Activision and they were working on this game that was based on an engine that they had already made for a game called Apocalypse starring Bruce Willis. Okay. It was the first game.

That had a celebrity lookalike or, you know, their avatar, I guess, avatar. Sure. Not the movie, but not that literal and his voice. And but it didn't do very well. But the engine was perfect for skateboarding. The engine means the motion in the game. So the first time I ever played what became Tony Hawk's Pro Skater was was Bruce Willis on a skateboard.

with a gun on his back doing kickflips. Okay. Like through a desert. And it was Bruce Willis. That's hysterical. Yeah, that was it. Was there a breakthrough moments or an epiphany like how to make a skateboard thing as exciting as a war one or something? Well, when I played the game, I knew then like this is the way it should. Because you're feeling it. I'm feeling it and it was intuitive. Suddenly I was doing tricks right away. So I thought with my...

with my resources, we could probably make something that is legitimate. I wasn't thinking it was going to go gangbusters because I still heard those voices saying, who would want to play a skateboard game? And when I told them, I had a Nintendo 64 at the time, and I said, oh, we're going to make this for Nintendo 64? And they go, no, we're making this for PlayStation.

- PlayStation. - There's a million PlayStations out there. There aren't a million Nintendo 64s. And so I went along with that, obviously. - Another smart idea. - Not long after when it had success in the beginning, they called me and said, "You get your wish. We're gonna do Nintendo 64."

I was like, cool. And then we ended up doing all the systems. And did the first guy, you wet the beak on him a little bit or not? Did he go away for good? Show business term, wet the beak. Give him a little money. A little taste. No, I felt bad for that guy. Oh, he's totally. So you had gross points. I mean, I don't know whatever, but you're an owner. You're an owner. And so being an owner is king.

Oh, yeah. I mean, it changed my life. So it just starts rolling in. And then it gets bigger every year. Did you evade taxes? By the time the fourth game, no. I remember my first, I remember writing my first check to the IRS and thinking this is more, this is more than the money I'd ever think I'd made in my lifetime. It's interesting. Giving to the IRS. So the rich do pay, the rich pay their fair share. The only one who did it was Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk.

Tony Hawk. Yeah. I could figure out loopholes. That was Joe Biden. Sorry. I got it. He gets it. Anyway. Well, everything seems to be going well at this point in your existence. The game has kicked ass. You've won so many X Games, world champion. Done a lot of commercials. You land a 900 at some point. How long did it take you? I saw that whole video. How big a deal was that for you? That was... Well, that was...

For me, that was my best exit from competition. So you were thinking, I'm going to land this. There was no plan. Oh. It was all spontaneous that night, honestly. So you just thought, so just because I was trying to explain it to my wife and my sons, you're going up in the air really, really high. Yeah.

You're going a full revolution in your body, another full revolution, and then a half a revolution, which, you know, 360, 360, 180, and then hit it. Right. And that was a little Mount Everest kind of thing? For me at that time, yeah, because it's something that I had been trying off and on for 10 years.

I did the first 720 in 1985. And that was huge at the time. Yeah, for sure. I mean, in the skateboard world, but the skateboard world wasn't huge. Oh, okay. There were no X Games. There was no social media. Okay, so no one really. Does it have to be filmed or do they take your word for it? I got a sequence of it. I mean, back then there was, Bones Brigade videos were out kind of, but really it was more about did it get in the magazine?

So I got a small sequence in Thrasher. Oh, all those photos like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a small sequence in Thrasher doing a 720. Fuck yeah, I probably saw. On a backyard ramp in Sweden. So when you landed the 900, what competition were you in? That was at the X Games. At the X Games. That was global television. What? I said, what kind of pussy did you get? I thought that's what you're saying. From mature audiences only, is that on the video game? I thought that's where you're headed.

Not quite. No, so you do the, I get all serious. So what, so you do the 900. You're asking me to answer your question. He's famous. He's out there in Sweden. To answer your question, I was trying it off and on. I couldn't figure it out. I got hurt a couple of times doing it. And then when that event happened in 99, it was the best trick event. And I had one trick planned for that event, which was not the 900. It was a variation of a 720. And I made that early on. Wow.

So I had 10 minutes to kill in this event. And the announcer, the live announcer for the audience that was there said, why don't we see one of those 900s? And I was like, great. Now I'm on the spot. Crowd. Okay. So try it. Yeah. I watched this last night. This isn't the one where you kept trying it. Is that the one? I kept trying it. Yeah. That's one where you go over and over and over. Like your 10th one. And then they all bobbed you. And everyone almost gave up. And then.

You kept doing it. Well, I was, I think after my third or fourth attempt, I realized that this is the closest I've ever gotten. So there's no way I'm going to give up. It's either I'm going to make this or they're going to take me away. Or you're going to get hurt or something. Are you thinking right as you take off, like to get height, right? To get as high as, or what are you thinking? There's a bunch of elements, but speed for sure. It's got to be a certain height to get that much spin rotation. Yeah.

The snap is when the moment you leave the ramp, you gotta have a snap where you hit your tail and you grab the board at the exact same time. And if that doesn't happen, your board just flies away immediately and you're stuck kind of spinning in space. - Right as you're about to go airborne, you gotta grab your board so you're attached to it. - And so if you get a good snap, then somewhere in the middle of the spin, you have to shift your weight towards the front foot. That was the part that I couldn't figure out all those years.

Whoa. Interesting. And so, I mean, sorry, not, not the towards, towards the back foot. So you spinning, if you, if you just spin the way that you take off and try to land, you're too top heavy. So I had to figure out how to sort of shift my weight to the back foot mid spin. Right.

and that's what you see me working out at the X-Files. You mean when you land, you'll go face first, you won't- I did go face first the first time I ever tried to make it. So that's why you go, I gotta get the weight. But with the weight on the back foot, it seemed like when you did do it, you did sort of a squat and you- Yeah, well, that was me overcompensating. Right, but you didn't leave the board. You set the record. But that was like, yeah, interesting. Yeah, you know, because I do, when I used to skate, it's fun to watch once I quit because you sort of know

a little bit about it enough to know which tricks are hard. So when I see Instagram and I'm like, God damn, like it got so beyond what I could ever do. I was, I was, it's video games now. Like the tricks that you see on Instagram or the, or the pros that you see out there, especially street skaters. It's the kind of thing that we did on our video game and combos as a joke. Cause you know, you could never do it. Yeah. No, no one will ever do this. Right.

And now they're doing it. - Has the equipment gotten better then? - The equipment hasn't changed that much. - It's about the same. It seems about the same. - Okay, I think they have like, they have plates on track shoes, people running four minute miles, high schoolers, carbon plating. - Yeah, no, it's just skating with a trial there. - Okay, so they're all about the same weight. They're all about the same wheels. - But it's also like, when you think about the generations that have come before,

The generation coming in now establishes that, oh, a 900 is possible. Or these tricks, these combos are reality. So that's the baseline of which to start. You could even go crazier. Yeah. You know, they used to have these things, Dana, called sky hooks. That was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Tony knows what it is. I was like, it was hard for me when I got to doing aerials.

at the old High Roller skate park in Arizona. And so when you have to leave the top of the pool, that's being a colossal pussy. This is a doctor telling me this. That's three pussies on this. No, that's just saying I am not tough. All with different connotations. It's a fear. Oh yeah, totally different meanings every time. It's a fear thing, Dana. Once you leave the top of the ramp. Oh, come on, don't be a baby. I'll be my dad for a second. It's too scary. And then, so I wiped out a High Roller trying to do an aerial axle stall. I think I've told Tony this before.

And so I... Which, to his credit, is a pretty gnarly trick. It's a hard trick. It's hard. And it's dangerous. And so you go up, I think David Andraik, someone did those. You get speed, you go up off the pool. You go up out of the pool. It was a pool at the skate park. And you go up and you land on your axles and then you drop back in. Landing is the hard part. Dropping in I could probably do, but I missed it and I wiped out and I fell backwards into the pool and broke both wrists. Now...

everyone, uh, uh, all the concerned skaters go get the fuck out of the bowl. Yes. So, cause I was laying there and so I had to drag my board up and it's hard to walk up from the deep end of the shallow. It's like slippery. So I get out and I'm laying on my brother's, we had the Lee car and Andy got mad cause we just got to the skate park. We had two hours and so I'm laying on the car on the, on the windshield and, uh, Andy, they

they go get Andy, my brother, because he saw me. He goes, I'll just go in the car. We're out of here in two hours. And so the skate park person saw me kind of shaking. I didn't say anything. I knew I was in trouble. And then they went and got Andy and he comes and throws his helmet. He goes, what the fuck? You're fine, right? And I go, yeah. And they go, no, you got to take him home. You can't stay. And he goes, fuck. So he throws me in the car and he goes, I'm going back. So he dropped me to my stepdad.

Oh, and he went back to the ski park. And he went back, yeah. And then I sat there and then my stepdad was buzzed because it was night, he was just drinking. It was morning. And he took me to his clinic and x-rayed him and I saw a crack down both of them around his corner. I look around the corner, I go, hmm, I didn't even go to med school. I see something going on. Did they set them? He goes, let's sit on this. He was drunk. I go, what are we waiting for? So I lay down and I don't, you know, we don't have Vikings back then, we don't have anything. So I'm just lying there, sort of whimpering.

I was whimpering. And then the next day my mom was like, take a man and do something. So he just gave me splints. So then the first day of school, I went as a freshman, I had two splints, but I looked like a badass. I had my quick silvers. I had my fucking old t-shirt.

carrying a skateboard or a magnet. I didn't, we got injured in different ways. Like my brother popped the wheelie. That's what we do on our, yeah. Popped the wheelie, the wheel comes off, chips his teeth. Oh yeah, the forks go down and you go, uh-oh, this is just a way to happen. So he's like got fangs for a while. They finally got him, you know,

caps on him and then he's doing a duncan imperial going with the yo-yo yeah boom broke him again that's twice you guys were daredevil then he got a slinky then he got a slinky he lost an ear look i don't want to go into the carvey we were rough and tumble 60s kids it wasn't nothing was nothing was safe trust me i knocked my teeth out my front teeth uh five times

God dang. Are you, is he really? Yeah. Um, but the cool thing about that is every time you knock him out, you can choose the size and the color. Oh, you have a very positive adult life. That's, that's a thing, right? So how many bones do you have broken in your body? Everyone wants to know, uh, four officially for officially. Yeah. My pelvis, my elbow, uh, my femur. And, um,

Well, I broke my thumb, basically. Concussions? How many bruises, roughly? Concussions? I had many. My son, he used to do ramp rats with BMX bike. You know, you find out later, but he was out cold for three minutes once. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, concussions weren't talked about a lot in the old days. No, no, you just hit your head hard. They didn't know. Bell rung. Yeah, you got his bell rung. Shook up. But they say multiple hard hits is the hardest thing on your brain. Well, or- Within the hundreds. In succession. Yeah. Yeah, where it's one after the other in a short time. Yes, absolutely. And on

I've been proactive in that and I've had the tests and to see if I'm at risk for Alzheimer's and it seems that I'm doing all right. - I see a lot of dudes on these Instagram with no helmets doing some gnarly stuff. - Yes. - A little scary. It's kind of a skateboarder cool thing to do, but it is not the smartest thing to do. - They were trying to, when they put skateboarding in the Olympics, there was a movement which I found odd to not have helmets in the park event.

yeah you can sing people are flying yeah you're doing real side that's it when it's flat you're saying when it's just street stuff not when the street they're they're they're not but what they were saying oh and we shouldn't have to wear pads and i was like you guys are i i was i was not in the conversation but so you guys are flying 10 feet above 10 foot pools that's yeah i don't think it's going to go well for the general audience

Yeah, I mean... No, it's not like it's supposed to be kind of a fun game. I picture parents going, yeah, you're never going to do that.

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They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue, sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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It's not necessarily a cannabis culture. It was kind of, oh. I'm just throwing that out there. Well, I'd say skateboarding is so diverse now that I wouldn't just zero in on something like that. I feel like this definitely has been associated with skating. But they had the phrase surfer bum. Did they have skater bum? Skate rat, I think, is more appropriate. Skate rat is more like to someone who lives- But I think on the outside, especially in those days when skating wasn't very popular, there was a-

there was a sort of view of skating that was, oh, they're slackers. They wake up late. They're stoners. And I guess you could view it like that, but I feel like skating requires so much discipline that that was sort of being ignored. Yeah, it's very technical. That's true. We were sort of outliers. Because you didn't fit in anywhere at our school. So my brother and I. We took my kids to Europe and they...

because we were middle-class kids, got some money. We're in Italy. But all they wanted, all they talked about was statues and monuments. I could catch so much air off that. Oh, yeah. Everything was about what they could skate off of. Any angle. I remember when one of the Palatirists went to the Vatican and I tail dropped off one of the sculptures. I'm sure they loved that. People didn't really like that. Yeah.

Wait a minute. You were in the Vatican and skateboarded off a statue? I mean, in the Vatican City, in the outdoor area. Oh, in that area. Yeah, yeah. We were just skating. That was the thing in those days. All we cared about was skating. Anything, yeah. Yeah, the sightseeing was just more incidental to us getting to skate that day. Stairs. What would you get most excited about, just in sort of urban environments? Back in those days, anything that resembled a ramp or a bank or like a...

Even Kettner School here, I used to see in Skateboard Magazine. So when I came here, I had to go find it. And it was kind of lame. It was just slight banks on asphalt, but it was something. Yeah, but that was the early days. Yeah, do some Bertelmans. You know, show off a little bit. Yeah.

Bertelmans? Oh, yeah. That's a surf term. Is that right? I do little tail blockers because there's really no danger to it. I have a photo. I'm representing the audience at home. In the first Bones Brigade newsletter, I had a photo doing a Bertelman at Cantor Banks. Oh, for real? Yeah. You don't have to go to Bertelman's Deli for bagels. A good thing is if Tony's a photographer across me, if you go up to him and there's a camera low and you do a tail block, put your hand out. Oh, yeah. That's a good picture. That's a hero angle. Yeah, that's a good one.

Let's talk about the movie. Oh wait, you were in Jackass too before you get to Police Academy. - All of them. - You were in all of them? - Yeah. - And did you do, Dane, have you seen when they go full circle? - Some kind of blown up suit. - Full pipe? - Yeah. - Did you do a full pipe in a chicken suit or something?

I did, yes. I was about to say, it sounds like possible. That's Johnny Knoxville. I did that for Jackass with Matt Hoffman. The TV show? The TV show. He and I wore chicken shoes. Oh, he was at BMX, right? Yeah, and we did a loop in Orlando. And then after the loop, we jumped into this lake. Oh, that's fun, yeah. And then I was on Wild Boys.

And we were skating in gorilla costumes. It's never easy. We were also skating with an orangutan. So that was the whole vibe. There was an orangutan that skated and then Bob Berkowitz and I dressed up in gorilla costumes. Did the orangutan think you were gorillas or didn't know you were? No, but it did not like if we got ahead of him. Competitive? Yeah, very competitive. He's in it to win it and we're going to stand behind because you don't want him coming after you.

We ended up skating. Picture your face off, I heard. Yeah. We ended up skating. Side note. Just to fill the content. And then we went and did Bob had his own loop and we did Bob's loop and Bob's loop was very slow and weathered. And I didn't take that into consideration as I went down to it. And then I ended up paying the price. Did you not get around the whole thing?

I fell from, what happens, I fell just around 10 o'clock going up. And that makes you go all the way to the top and then fall. So I fell 16 feet. That's when I broke my pelvis. Yeah.

And were you in the orangutan suit at that point or some other suit? Was the orangutan suit- That was for Wild Boys. Was it padded? Not worth it. No, that was extra. We don't got any budget for that. And I was wearing the mask, so I wasn't wearing my helmet. So that was a problem. Oh.

I got a concussion. But a loop. Fresh my skull. For people at home, you just go straight down fast like Hot Wheels and then you do a whole loop. A whole loop, yeah. And you lose all your momentum at the top and you want to bail, I'm sure. But if you just hang on, you're fully lightweight. I'm sure you're full. If you have the right amount of speed, you just...

hold steady and it works. And it will stay on. Yeah. But the problem with Bob's is that it was so weathered you couldn't get that amount of speed. So I tried to compensate by using my legs and if you use your legs then you end up

completely straight leg with nowhere to go. Have you ever studied geometry or physics? Because it sounds like you're really, you got to know speed. It's wind. It's like- Well, the first time I ever did it, I did go, I actually like did a Hot Wheels and tried to measure that and do the ratios of how that would work. And it worked the first time, but this time it didn't work. It seems that there's a lot of thinking that goes into these tricks that

that maybe not every skateboarder has. Usually it's just intuitive. No, it's just try. Right. I don't like they gave you a shitty ramp. If I get here, I'm going to fall there. I got to get speed to get this velocity and this angle. I don't know. It sounds interesting. We're just kind of going off a feeling. We didn't have foam pits or training grounds. Right. So it's like David, like he tried air to axle stall and

Came down hard, broke his wrist. Yeah. By the way, we did this movie in the old days. I was trying to jump the simple thing of stairs. Just seeing if your wrist has a bump. No, I actually broke my wrist again after that. Skating? Yeah. And then my mom goes, you shouldn't skate anymore. I go, because it's too dangerous? She goes, no, you're horrible at it. We have to keep you in school. You keep...

We're mortgaging the house to pay for your medical bills. It got too hard because it was too... I could do the desert pipes. We did those. I could do...

you know, and just go to vert and come. I couldn't really do that. Those are, those are famous. Could you do a, um, what is it? The pineapple reverse squat? Do you remember that one? The old dipsy doodle? No, I can do front side grinders. I can do stuff, but it gets scary, Dana. And it was just when it gets too hard and what they were doing, it just, it separates. I had a hard time looking at it. My kids coming down steep hills. Yeah. Didn't want to wear helmets, but kind of put the helmet on, put the helmet on, put the,

And I, because of childhood trauma, I had to look away. My wife could just watch them, but I would just look away. Oh, they made it. You know, we had 23 ER visits between the two sons. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Yeah, I actually have the cell number of the head of the ER down there by you in your secret location. They have a special lane. He's coming in on Tony Drive. Okay, put him in a Hawk One. We have several children, and they all went through their share of injuries because they all skate, so that too. And is Riley a pro? Riley, my oldest son, is pro, yes. Yeah, he's good. He's cool. Oh, that's cool. So do you think when you see him...

becoming that good you do you see yourself in him intellectually or i see i see his

and his drive to keep trying to outdo himself. Yeah. Very much so. He's more of a street skater, so that is not my wheelhouse, but I do see the same sort of motivation that he has that I have. It's kind of true of all successful people. It's hard that he's that good because he's got this guy as a dad and it's hard to be good anyway. He kind of shied away from skating when he started getting good because of that. It's weird. It's definitely weird. Yeah.

But came back to it because he had so many close friends that were just hardcore skaters and kind of found his own path after that. Well, once you're making a living at something that's a passion, it's kind of a, it's a very nice thing. So he is professional. He is. And I always wanted to make the same amount of money I could as a waiter, like maybe 1500 a month. Right. And once I got to 600 a month, I was able to put down the apron. Are you there yet?

I made 600. We made 600 on this podcast alone. By the time you finish that sentence. I'm telling you. Two jokes. No, life's been good. But to your point, it's for everybody who excels at things. The passion has to come first and just wanting to get better at it. Yeah. Wanting to get better. I do see, I have seen skaters come and go because their motivation is

is fame and fortune. And if they get a taste of it, then they don't want to skate anymore or they don't want to push themselves. And also if that's your moniker, it's like Lorne Michaels, one of his, uh, the miniature hot, you feel yourself getting less hot. Yeah.

It's hard to stay. So in other words, if you're a fame whore, you're just like, you know, I don't, I like to stay home. I don't want to go anywhere. Dave's a man about town, but we're, we're different. That's why we, we have a chemistry, but yeah, I'd much rather watch Friday night lights at home. I have to extract Dana out to dinner once a week. Oh yeah. I feel you. But he has a steak dinner and mashed potatoes waiting for him when he sits down.

And then he'll have a small cocktail. I go, are you feeling anything with that two pounds of T-bone in your... I got a glass of whiskey tonight. Dana, why aren't you asking him about the movie you don't care about? It's Police Academy 4. That's where we met. Well, this is for our listeners. No, well, I have some questions after this, but this is...

The axis of connection between these two, the movie, Police Academy. Four, the good ones. David's in it. Tony's in it. Go, guys. I set it up. I got hired just doing improv. I wasn't a good actor. The way I lucked into that, Tony, is I went in. I was very new. I was 21.

And I just started doing sets at the improv. And there's casting people peppered around. You just don't know. And then one day called me in and they said, we got a script. Can you come in and audition? I didn't know what I was doing. I would have literally, cause my next audition, I just read it off the page. Yeah.

They go, we want you to read. I go, oh, I can read. And then I just read the script to them and they were like, you don't know what you're doing. And I go, nope. So the only reason I got that is because they go, can you skate? And I said, yeah, because I auditioned for North Shore, a movie, and I said I could surf and I could not. But did they discover that? Yeah, did they test you? Well, I didn't get it. So I got down and Matt Adler, a buddy of mine, got it and he could surf. So it was about a guy from Arizona and I go, I have all the components. I can't surf that good.

So I do. I think you dodged a bullet with that one. Yeah, I would have fucking drowned. Surfing is. No, no, but I'm just saying that is one of the most quoted ridiculous surf movies. Oh yeah, it was kind of goop. Was it kind of goofy? Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, there's some one-liners in there that endure, that live on. Which movie was this? It's called North Shore. North Shore, yeah. And who was in it? Matt Adler is a buddy of mine. Okay. Laird plays the protagonist. I remember that. Oh, he does? Laird Hamilton is the guy that pulls his leash. He would have drowned me. Oh, Laird Hamilton? Yeah, he's a trip. He's the bad guy. If he knew, I was not good. So anyway, so I auditioned for Police Academy, but when I get there, they go,

we're getting a new script and it's not here yet and i go oh and they go shit you're here do you want to just oh perfect you want to just ad lib stuff well you're just a smart ass kid and there weren't lines you're so stiff anyway i would have bombed so i just started making up stuff that's good and it was so lucky because they go oh he's not bad because i was just free forming that's so much so i get hired i go there i'm making so much fucking money

I think I was making $2,500 a week. It's a movie. I was in a movie in Toronto. And they go, you're a part of a little skate gang of misfits. And they go, oh, we're going to get. And of course I knew the Bones Brigade. I knew everything from Arizona. And then they go, this guy, Tony Hawk, I think it was Guerrero and Cavalero and Mike McGill. Lance. Lance Mountain. And so they all came out and I was so excited because they were rock stars. Do you remember your first impressions of David Spade?

- I thought he was super funny. - Yeah. - So you started cracking jokes. - I mean, it was one of those things where you go, "Oh, you're really funny. You should be a comedian." That was lucky 'cause you know, Tony, the one problem we had was Tony was taller than me and he was, were you goofy or regular foot? - I'm goofy footed. - And so we had Chris Miller. - Well, no, can I interject? - Yeah, go ahead. - So. - Yes.

So we all read for that part. Oh, is that right? We all read for the part that you got. Oh, that's right. Oh, okay. Or that you and, who's the guy from Fast Times? Brian Backer. Brian Backer. So we all read for those parts as the Bones Brigade. And they're like, yeah, you guys are not actors, but we'll consider you in the gang or whatever. Okay. And then they- I didn't know that. They singled out, when they hired you guys, they singled out Lance and me as the doubles. Yeah. I went through a growth spurt.

from the time we tried out to the time we got there. And so for the first week, they were like, I think that guy's too tall. And I remember the director saying like, you know, he's a pretty good skater, but he's a bad stunt double. And so then Stacy kept telling me like, stay low. Oh, crouch. Stay low. Oh, Stacy problem. Yeah. And I go, I don't know. I was trying, I was trying. And then they just quietly sent me home.

Basically, I got fired. Oh. And then they sent in Chris Miller, who looks like you. And is the same stance as you. I'm goofy, but he was closer. It was a tough decision because you're goofy and he's regular. Sorry, what does goofy foot mean? I'm goofy.

Oh, that means- He stands with his right foot forward. So do I. And that's called goofy? Yeah. And left foot is called? Regular. Regular. Okay. And so when I got hired, you remember that was part of the thing. It was like, oh, you're goofy footed too. That's what David is. So I went. So in long story short, they sent in Chris Miller who looks more like him, but is regular footed. Oh, okay. So in the skate sequence, his stance keeps changing. It's so crazy. Wow. I'm going to watch this tonight. So unprofessional. But you had a legit-

skate part like going through the mall. I could skate. I could skate. And then when I go one time, I go, uh, Brian Backer could not skate. He was, uh, he was very much against it. Yeah. To the point where he's making us very uncomfortable as part of the movie.

He just didn't want to even pretend and they needed establishing shots of him skating. Okay. Even if they had to pull him on something. Oh, okay. He didn't want to be. Yeah. But at one point they did try to get him on a skateboard and he was very upset about it. He was kind of complaining to us and we're like, well, we just work here. Yeah.

But we can help you. Stacey Peralta was a great skater and a great director. And one of his bosses, because he's from Pal Peralta, Bones were great, all this stuff. Yeah, I mean, he's the one who put us together. And he was the one who got us the audition. And he did second unit. Yeah. So he directed us in a lot of those skate scenes, if not all of them. And one time I go, Stacey, he goes, you can skate a little bit, right? I go, yeah, yeah. I go, listen, on this one, I'm wearing a pink Bones shirt, didn't I? Yeah. And I go, we're just rolling through the city at night. So I go,

And then they go, you go over these steps. And I go, what is it, five steps? I go, I can do that. And he goes, okay. So I could do five steps.

Seven out of 10 times. So, but when the pressure, so they're all behind me. I don't know if you remember this. Anyway, I'm in front, woohoo, making noises. We looped later. And then we go in and I do the first steps and I fucking wipe out. And then everyone has to wipe out on top of me because they're all like two feet behind me. Oh yeah, there was no, was the camera rolling? There's no adjusting. Yeah, yeah. And then it's like cut and I'm like, eee.

And they use that? No, I think they just go, Tony, just do it. And then you did it. We need to get one right. As a stunt double. Yeah, as a stunt double. Five steps. Was it nothing for you? Not nothing, but it was doable. It seemed to be a lot for David. It seemed to be very difficult for David. But what we learned in that shoot is we learned about stunt bumps and we didn't know anything about that. So if we pretended like something was really hard, it would give us extra money. Oh, right.

Oh, you did jump a police car. You're talking about two stairs. Are you nuts? Boy, I've got a fee for that one. Yeah, I got it. It was one. It was the, um, when we jumped the fountain. Okay. I don't think you were there for that one, but we, we jumped a fountain. They set up this big ramp and, and it just was so janky, the whole thing. And,

The landing zone was terrible. And we were just sitting there sweating it. And they're like, we'll give you each 500 bucks to do this. We're like, what? Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, the ramp got a lot better. Yeah. Every time. We're going to run it backwards. Keep going. And that's when we learned that we can stunt doubles. Interesting. Yeah. Stunt doubles. I've been next to guys that were about to take a car hit on my behalf, talking to them. How you doing? Pretty good. Yeah.

And they never say they won't go again because they get another- I guess they get more money. Junk, yeah. Yeah. So every take they do it, they get a bump. Right, right. Yeah. There's only one time I had a stuntman tap out and I took over. You took over? What was it? Weird. Well, it was going inside this big vat of goo. Yeah.

Big wooden thing. And Anthony Hopkins was the dad and he was there and he's supposed to go under it. And then it's the goo fills everything. And I guess a little claustrophobia. The guy was a great stunt man, but just got him shook up. So I did it.

You did it? Yeah, I got underneath the thing. It's terrifying. I go, well, fuck, I'm a little guy. I can't skate. I can't do anything, but I'll stay down in this fucking goo. I come up from the goo and there's Anthony Hopkins or Tony, as I call him, or Hoppy. We were close. Anyway, he's playing my dad. Anyway, I have questions. Yeah, give him the questions. I just do this sometimes for fun. Let's see what I got here.

You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony, which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Yeah.

Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, it, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, uh,

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

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I do want to say, though, to end that, I get asked about that all the time. I do, too, all the time. Oh, yeah. Please count me four. Please count me four. It's just one of those comedies of the 80s everybody knows. From then on, we stayed friends. He would always give me a board. He would always, if I asked for something, we went and skated McGill's Ramp once, which I was not good at. And I'm so brittle that I can't believe you still will risk falling because every time I fall, it really rocks me.

Um, I think I got accustomed to the slight pains of skating, but now as I grow older, things linger more. But I do find that if I stay active, it's easier. Yes. Because when I, but Dana, when I did that thing with Tiger, I was comparing them because they're both like the number one in their field. Tiger is so driven. So we played golf that night and he was visibly hurt from his back operations. He wasn't, he's super cool. He's great. He's reading putts. He was having fun, but I could tell he's in pain.

I even asked him, do you think he'll ever play golf again? Because he just got an operation. And I thought, maybe this is it. Why I asked him, I don't know. That next morning, he gets in the car wreck, right? So he crushes his feet, everything. He may never play again. And he starts to swing. And within a year...

he was better than me for minutes. I go, there was a while there where I was better than him because he couldn't pick up a comb comb. And then he goes, I can kind of, I'm better than you. And I'm like, well, how is it that? I thought it would take years. Yeah. And he's so good at it that once he can just stand up on two feet, he's like. He's playing on one leg now. Yeah. And he was also made the cut and was doing bad ass stuff like a week ago. It's infuriating. You know.

Have you ever been like upside down on your skateboard and had the thought in your head like, this can't be good? Or this isn't going to end well? The first time I tried 900, yes. In your brain, you went, this isn't going to end well? I was like, I don't know where I am. When am I going to hit the wall? Oh, there it is. Did you ever been upside down on your skateboard and thought, why did I ever really, did I ever really like this?

I think when I first came back to the ramp after breaking my leg, there was a moment of that.

Have you ever been upside down in a skateboard? And a thought popped in your head, David Spade was really funny in Please Scan Me For It. He said, almost every day. Have you ever been upside down in a skateboard and gone, my IQ is 144. What the fuck am I doing? Ramming my thighs. I had a BMX guy who was pro for a while. Chris Duncan say that to me, that he was upside down once and he said, this can't end well. Like he just knew he was out of sorts. Well,

And also you just anticipate that hit where you're like, I know that I can't prepare for it this time. So when is it coming? And please make it soon. Have you ever gotten kind of an endorphin high like distance runners do from skateboarding? Like a real buzz? Oh yeah, all the time. When you land something great, you're just like- Anything that I land new to me.

Okay. It's like new jokes for us. No joke. It's like, if you do a new joke at this stage of the game, no joke, new joke. Have you ever been on your skateboard going fast, had somebody else push a skateboard five feet away next to you and tried to jump on that skateboard? Yeah. Uh,

Yeah, that's not as amazing as you would think. Oh, wow. I thought you were going to go, no one could do that. Dana, I saw a guy on Instagram the other day. He hits like a bump and there's a skateboard on the other side. He does a flip in the air. Oh, I've seen that. That's pretty. Yeah, that's pretty wild. There's so many ways that can go wrong. Okay, go. Has anyone ever used the pun to you? You're just skating by. Has anyone ever said that to you? You're skating through life. Hey, Tony. Skating through life. Skating by, huh? Okay, I'm just curious. Skating by. What makes a prodigy?

I guess it's determination. I think a lot of determination, discipline, and it's just, you know it when you see it. Mozart, right? JonBenet, yeah, all the big ones. The biggest mistake beginning skateboarders make? Tony Hawk. Biggest mistake beginners skateboarders make? Yeah.

Getting ahead of themselves skill-wise where they think that because they can ride a skateboard that suddenly they can do some big stunt, a big set of stairs, a big handrail, and they do not have all the required elements to that. And it goes horribly wrong. Because they get discouraged then. It looks easy on Instagram, Dan. Yeah. When you see someone make a trick, you don't realize they fell 30 times. Fill in the blank. Tony Hawk is...

You don't have to answer these. A skateboarder, a husband, a father, and a philanthropist. Okay. David Spade is... You can say all those same ones. A funny skateboarder. A really funny skateboarder. Not so good at skateboard, but incredibly funny. No. It's like anything.

Let's see. Do you think Evel Knievel could have made some noise in the skateboarding world? Noise. He was an inspiration to me, so by proxy, yes. So you'd watch him on TV going over cars with his car? Yeah, I had the wind-up. SSP, yeah.

Which one? Oh, okay. I know you've landed the 900. I'm just throwing this out. It's going on record. This is going out all over the world. 1200. Michy Brusco, a current pro skater, has done a 1260. Was he young? Is he really young? Tom Schar. You're thinking of Tom Schar. Tom Schar did the first 1080. He was very young. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is on a bigger ramp, so more airtime. People somehow think that's easier. I don't think that's easier. Cheater.

Asterisk. But- No, it's hard. But Mitch Briscoe did a 1260, so he did three and a half. God dang. I can't put that in my head. Springling Brothers. It's amazing. The humans just want to keep- Yeah, it's amazing. Reach for something. If you look that up, find the clip. It's worth watching. Because in track and field, in sprints, it's like a hundredth of a second. World record by .001.

Oh, one hit. No, this is a full spin. Yeah. That is extraordinary. These were just random ones. Like fear, where does fear come into it and how do you deal with it right before you go on off? You want to be in an attack mode, right?

I treat fear in more that I feel confident that I have the skills to do this. The preparation. Hope this works. Hopefully it can land it. Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen. It's more like I have all the pieces to this. Let's put them together. And I approach it with more confidence than anything.

That's it. Fear, yeah. Have you ever done a rope swing into a lake and you were the kid who would do like all kinds of triple somersaults? No, but when I was little, I would go off the high dive. Did you have vertigo at all? Did you look down and go... Um...

Yeah. But I, I think I just knowing that other people have done it. Yeah. Seems like you would have been a good high school diver probably with this sort of, I don't think I'd be that accurate. Hmm. You know what I mean? Like I'm down to do flips, but I don't want to pencil in and yeah. Yeah. You'd hit the water, but maybe I'm going to make it look like a hyena. Uh, I just asked people this anyway. Did you, as a kid movie or television show blow your mind and make, make you happy? Um,

Shoot. For Ben Stiller, it was The Poseidon Adventure. I always give that as an example. For me, it was Jason and the Argonauts. Oh, for a TV show? Or those are movies. Mine was probably Animal House. TV show would have been Little House on the Prairie. That's Dave's favorite. Oh, I love that one. I did like it. He's a huge Michael Landon fan. Once Mary got blind, she couldn't realize I'm a six. Yeah.

That's a good question. That's all right. You can pass. I think I really enjoyed Greatest American Hero.

The movie? Oh, it was kind of, okay, so more. He's a regular dude that had superhero qualities and it just didn't fit. That was fun, yeah. And he would run into the walls and stuff like that? Okay, that makes sense. My favorite movie back in the day was Fast Times. Fast Times with Rich Monk. Yeah, because it summed up high school. Well, that says it all. That's perfect. You were right at the age to hit that. Yeah. And Sean Penn's Stunner Dude. That was great. Yeah, great movie. Tasty Waves. Yeah, that was a big comedy. I got to actually clarify a thing.

a line from fast times with sean pence that was big you did well it's coming of age

What was it? People think he says all I need is a cool buzz in Tasty Waves. He said cool buds. Yes. Yeah. And that's how I heard it. Yeah. I got to clarify it with him. He thought he said buzz? No, he said buds. People think he says buds. Because they don't know what buds means. Yeah. I remember that line and it was buds. Yeah. Thank you. Well, Tony, thank you for talking about SNL.

for an hour with us. Well, no, that's part B. We'll talk Tony's audition for SNL. He skates onto 8H. Lawrence, like, what do you have? Do it! Skateboarder, dude. I gotta say, it was a dream come true. And it only happened recently. And I was so thankful. And you came out and did a cameo. What did you do? So...

I was here in LA doing our podcast, Hawk vs. Wolf. Hawk vs. Wolf, wherever you can find podcasts. And it's also on YouTube. Yes. Hawk vs. Wolf. And so I was staying here doing this for a couple of days in the studio in Santa Monica, driving back to my hotel. It's like 6 p.m. And I get a call and they said, hey, can you make it to New York by tomorrow night? They wrote you into a skit on SNL. It's Thursday.

And I'm like, yes, I can do that. Let's do sure. Went, stayed there, went, went, did my podcast with, with Seth Rogen and went straight to LAX. I live in San Diego. I'm not even prepared to travel at all. Right. And went there, bought a jacket upon landing and they had written me into a script. Literally all I was going to do was say my name.

Not skating at all. You can handle that. Sure. Whatever it takes. It was a skit about the, you know, that whole thing went viral with the Miss Universe. France! Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you were in that. Yeah, that's right. I was going to be one of the judges of that pageant with the Property Brothers. And when it came to me to ask who won, I just say my name. And honestly, when I saw the script, I thought, this is it. This is a long way to go. But also, this is my big break to SNL. And then they loved it in the rehearsal so much, they added a line for me. Oh, yeah.

We're adding a line for you, Tony. It'll be on the cards. Did you say, Lauren, so do I have the it quality? Should I stay and be a cast member? I did get to, at the after party, I got to actually sit with him for a few minutes. He's quite a brilliant character. He just says really interesting stuff all the time. Tony's like, I know who you are. Ah!

Yeah. He would be that. Yes. He would be very, very, yeah. I know success when I see it. David, Dana didn't know how to monetize, but Tony did.

Thank you, Tony. Tony's a very cool guy. Just to sum up, yeah, your podcast is great. Thank you. And all your business endeavors. And I think this will be an inspiring episode. And it doesn't matter what your passion is. You just have to apply yourself and focus. I always say to people, look at your feet.

Don't look at the fame, the money. Just look at your feet, literally with skaters. Yeah. But just like, am I better today than I was yesterday? And what can I do to get better? No matter what you're trying to do. That's what I take away. David, your takeaway is? Same thing. I know what he said. All right, Tony Hawk. I'm talking to Tony. It's good. He's a philanthropist at a skate park. Builds them and-

You have a foundation here called the Skate Park Project. Oh, that's right. Safe skate parks. We help build parks in underserved areas. Yes. Yes. That's great. Going for 20 years now. Wow. They give skate parks that's sick. You make them better. I don't understand how it works. All right. Thanks, Tony. Tony Hawk, everybody.

This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.