Redefining Success: The Heart vs. Mind Dilemma | Jarek Tadla DSH #760
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this time i said like when i'm gonna redesign this old attic restructure this old attic i want to do it my way and ask for all the help that i can possibly can a lot of men feel shame or guilt when they have anxiety or depression and they're scared to talk about it you know i was hiding man like i was hiding for so many years if the last thing didn't happen i would probably wouldn't be here all right guys from poland

Moved here at 21. Yarek Tadla, thanks for coming on, man. Thank you. Yeah, what was it like over there those first 21 years? You know what? I think it was like a very good journey. I need it. So what happened is when I moved here, I appreciated everything this country has to offer. And for being an immigrant and just see everything, how accessible and the wealth. Because I moved here in 1993. The steps was humongous.

And I'm telling you, the second I passed, like, you know, across the border, I got my green card. I'm like, I'm not going to waste it. Like, here, here you go. We say in my country, like United States, you know, the money is, you know, is growing under trees and laying on the floors. And it's like, I'm like,

You know, it's just you have to learn and you have to kind of like see it. But I immediately went to work and I did not waste any of my time. I love it. Did you come alone or with your family? No, I came with my parents. Okay. Yeah. My parents won the green card. And what happened is because I was under 21, I was six days before. So I, you know, me and my sister immediately jump on it. Got it. So that's how we came in. My older brother came 10 years later because he did not qualify because he was over 21.

And did you all speak English? Hell no. Oh, you didn't? No. That must have been tough then, right? No. But, you know, what happens is when you're in a society that everybody speaks English, it's easier. Yeah. Because, you know, you just merge. And then, you know, everything around us, it just takes like... To comprehend, it takes like three months and...

to speak at six months. Oh, that's not bad. Okay. You know, I mean, you're 21, young, you know, we observed the knowledge like immediately. So, and that first job dishwasher, right? Yes. I did my research on you. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But you know what, when I tell people this was my best job, people are like, "Why? Why would you say that?" Because at that time I didn't speak any English. So I was not involved in any politics, any like gossiping, anything. I was just doing my job, going home, going to school, you know, English second language and the college. And I was happy. And when I started studying English and I understand all the politics and everything's going on and gossip, I was like, "Okay."

That's the one bad part about America. The gossiping. The celebrity culture. Yeah, but I don't think it's only in the US. I think it's all over the world. Yeah, India has a big Bollywood or whatever. Yeah, it's probably worldwide, right? People will always kind of hate on those more successful and famous. Yeah, and now with the social media, you have access to everything. Yeah, it's amplified. And everywhere, yeah. And now mental health because of social media is pretty bad. And I know you talk a lot about that too. I talk a lot about mental health and emotional fitness because I went through so many...

stages in my life that I wasn't completely aware of it. You know, when all this stuff, like something really bad happened to me, I thought it's just...

i was a you know god was sending me a you know red flags just wake up wake up but i'm a slow learner it took me a while until i hit the bottom of the bottom and every time i hit the bottom of the bottom that's the bottom of the bottom and then two years later this was just a warning yeah i was like i give you a warning man i give you a warning and like you know i'm telling you i'm a slow learner but

Until I got the signal and awareness. That's why I'm here with the social media. You know, social media is a gift and a curse. You can use it for the good or for the bad. Agreed. And everybody has access to us, like your own Bible. And people know you and family and friends. But on social media, I mean, there's 8 billion people. Yeah. So you can really reach and connect with people that really need help.

and rely with your message. I'm very careful with my feed because it's easy to compare yourself on social media. So I try not to follow people that flash their expensive lifestyle or cars or materialistic stuff. I try to follow motivational people, healthy people. And my feed now is really good. But I used to compare myself a lot because of social media. The comparison game, but here what it is. My pet peeve is because it's unfortunate in this society that

depends how much money you're worth that's how much respect you get and what happened is when i had the bottom of the bottom i need like fathers i need people that went through it and all those good fathers all the good examples they were not social media flushing all the stuff there were guys of fathers they were working two or three jobs and i didn't have access to them and then i didn't want to listen to somebody who accomplished everything it's on social media but yet it's like

he's a douchebag. He's not a good father. He's not a good, you know, role model. And it's, it's hard to kind of find those right people. Yeah. And it was hard for me to find anybody that I can connect with. That's going through the same stuff that I do. You know, so how were you able to find that first mentor? Well, what happened is, um, when, uh, I found my, my first mentor, I mean, you know, like I, I was always self-improvement. So Tony Robbins, it was like, you know, since 2002, like I was deep, deep in with Tony Robbins, uh,

And then after my ski accident in 2016, I found Raul, Raul Velezas, the Edge group. That's my brotherhood. I've been with them for eight years. And he was the first guy that really woke me up because like there's something, there's missing something in me. I'm not happy. But what happened is I didn't even know how to ask questions. Like I just don't like it.

yeah but why you don't like it like the feelings that i have you know it's just first with emotions and feelings it's we don't understand them we feel them but we don't get it like but this is not it you know i'm like 40 44 44 year old man like by rules of society i have everything

yet I'm miserable. Like there's emptiness inside. And I started looking for answers and I couldn't find it. So I started, you know, hiring coaches and people, you know, because Tony Robbins is very big. You know, you go to the seminars, there's thousands and thousands of people. Yeah, you're not getting one-on-one with him. Yeah, so I was looking for like a more intimate, you know, kind of one-on-one and that's how I found with the group. Nice. And then,

From then, the journey just started. Dude, that's crazy. So you almost died from that accident, right? The ski accident? The ski accident was very serious. I did not die. But what happened, I was six months in hospital. I got 13 surgeries in and out. Jeez. And I almost lost my leg. I broke everything in my body. But however, the biggest problem was my leg. Holy crap. I couldn't recover. And...

Completely rewrite the story in my head. Your head? Like completely. Like I didn't realize how weak I am. Wow. Because like I could conquer anything I put my mind to it, and yet I struggle with this. But then I recover anyway, you know, because it's the, you know, I use my work ethics and I don't know how you, like I always question myself in my voices about,

Were we born with the work ethics or did the parents give it to us? That's a good question. Because why some people have it so much and some people don't? Right.

So I could always put my mind and get out of it. So, of course, the recovery took two years. And, you know, but the imposter syndrome in my head and was keep telling me that, hey, you know, you're not doing enough. You know, now you won't be a good father. You can play the soccer. You cannot, you know, at that time, I have four kids. Wow. So what do you mean? I cannot walk anymore in my life. You know, suddenly the not enoughness came in, which is, by the way, in my book. Mm-hmm.

I'm not going to be a great father. I'm not going to be enough. I'm not going to be enough for my kids. And the story was getting worse and worse and worse. I'm like, I become a victim of my own circumstances that I created. I mean, this is nothing. You just had a ski accident. But because I recover, of course, you know, under two years later, everything recover. You know, I forgot about it. Wow. So it's like I'm a glory. Yeah, I come out of it.

And then two years later, divorce. I was like, phew. I'm like, are you kidding me? But I was already mentally prepared. I already was aware of emotional intelligence and fitness and awareness. Oh, so you saw it coming. So there's like, you know, yeah. So I was kind of like mentally prepared, but I wasn't prepared. I was like, oh shit, I thought I was on the bottom of the bottom after the ski accident. Boom, divorce. Okay. Okay.

Then I recover after divorce. Then my oldest child just, you know, move out and disowned me. And the second child, I'm like, God, why me? Like, what did I do? Wow, he disowned you? Yeah. Holy crap. But now we're good. My kids came back. I would love it, but it took me two years. But the problem with all the inner work that I took, you know, because I become the douchebag, you know, I become the, you know, the guy to have everything. And everybody, you know, I look at four people

All my validation outside the world. Like, you know, so if I want to be loved, I want to look at validation if I buy more stuff or I win another competition. Or, you know, I buy more businesses and have more employees. And that's what I look at for validations. Right. A lot of people think that way. Yeah. And so I become. Product of your environment. Yeah. Exactly. And I have to completely disconnect it.

And that's where the inner work started. Wow. So do you think you were so strict on your kids? They kind of distanced themselves? Yeah. Because what happened is I was strict on myself. I'm telling you, brother, the way I talk to myself...

I would not have anybody around me. I talked to myself like shit. But that was like the motivation, you know what I mean? Getting up at four o'clock in the morning, not going to gym. It's like, oh my God, get up, get up. You loser. The way I talk to myself, it become my identity. But also, even though I did not speak to other people, but I carry the energy.

But then I emptied the bag because, you know, because I want to, you know, just looking for validation from other people. I empty my bucket and I become a people pleaser. And that depleted me more and more and more because I forgot about Little Yannick. I forgot about myself. So when I hit the depression that, you know, that I want to get out of the bed, I was like, oh, my God, like I'm empty. I just give everything away.

But that's where the awareness started. It's like, okay, now we're going to work. And this is the work that I absolutely don't know how to do. Because you have all the voices in your head and the imposter that you trained for 50 years. And now imagine how you change your habits. It's hard. So that's where you go and go bury it yourself. Yeah.

You were on your own for years, right? Yeah. So that must have been probably the lowest of the low right there. Yes. By yourself with all this money and probably a huge house. Yeah, because what happened is I built the huge bunker around me and I didn't want nobody in it. But what happened was by me not allowing anybody in it because everybody wants something from me. I did not allow anybody in it. Guess what?

I did not allow anybody out of it. So all the pain always stay inside. So when Raul helped me with taking the bricks down, I start opening and I just realized, when I become vulnerable, how much people around help me and just sharing the story and just being present and being vulnerable. And it's like,

I like that. Yeah. But the imposter and the devil, because the devil was still in my head. Yeah, you're a loser. You're not doing this. You're not doing this. It's like, yeah, you're good here, but you're horrible here. And it's the voices and me understanding that I'm not the only one. I thought that I'm the only one going through all these issues. Mm-hmm.

And I was like, I was born like that. You know, I was going through the issues when I was swimming, when I was in high school, when I was in college, when I was like, you know, building my careers. And I was like, that's why I kind of distanced myself from anybody. You know, because I had to like, and then I realized everybody is like that. All the guys, like all the men is like,

It's like, I'm not the only one. And it's like, we all have these voices. I thought this devil imposter just sitting in my head and just fucking with me. And it's like, oh, we all have it. You have it. I can guarantee. Yeah, I talk to myself a lot, actually. How is your self-talk? Mine used to be very negative, dude.

I grew up in a household where my parents were very negative, pessimistic, and it took me years to change that. Even still today, I get negative thoughts. It's tough. I think we all get negative thoughts. We do. And look, I'm getting goosebumps. What happened is the negative thoughts, like how quickly they build. The little negative thought, it goes to the next one, and the next one, and suddenly you're in the bubble. It's like, what?

holy shit, how did I end up here? You know, it's like 40 minutes later, I'm just hate the whole world. Like, you know, so I have to go back to the gratitude and being grateful and I meditate, pray and it's like, you know, just reset myself. I love that. Yeah, but now I cutting myself a lot quicker. But it takes, like really, it took years and years to, to, to,

do that it didn't come overnight you know like on the beginning like I did not even know what the feeling is you know I could not even describe it the only feelings I knew is like happy not happy or angry

But that's why I could, you know, I got triggered like immediately, you know? So it's like, holy shit. You couldn't control your anger? Yeah, because, you know, it's like you're carrying the, well, why nobody fucking understand this shit? You know what I mean? Yeah, because you got all that emotion you're storing in your body. Exactly. You got to let it out. Yeah. So you would let it out through anger. Exactly. And, you know, when I had the depression, the last one, I was like, you know, I cannot, like, I like Lily.

For three, four weeks, I could not get out of the bed. Damn. And me, like me, I could not get out of the bed. Like, you know, my queen just literally, like when she opened the blinds,

I'm like, bitch, close the freaking blinds. And she's like, I'm done. You're getting out of the bed. I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm like, you are. I'm like, no, I'm not. And she just kept pulling me. And I went outside and I was like, look, I have this huge skylight in my house.

And I'm like, look at the clouds. It's like, what the hell are you doing? But I believe in my own thoughts. First, I was sick like a day, two days. Then the two days become a week. And I was like, oh shit, you did not work out in a week. You did not answer any phone calls. You did not make any progress. You did not read. You did not like...

And then the new pain becomes the more painful. And then I just, the new pain becomes the fuel. I forgot about all the other stuff that I was depressed about, the new pain. And I have to completely bury myself and start, you know, from the new attic. Like, you know, like I was embarrassed. Like I walk 100 yards. Dude, I swim three miles a day. I bike 100 miles a day.

Like I walk 150 yards, like to the stop sign from my house because I live on the end of the coast. And I was like, that was nice. But I cannot tell anybody, hey, I walked today 150 yards. Motherfucker, you run 20 miles a day. Like what are you talking about? And I was excited because I could not go back to the old attic that is doing the same thing because, you know, I dropped it, you know, for so many months. I dropped it. So you cannot, you know. But this time I said, like when I'm going to,

redesign this old attic, restructure this old attic, I want to do it my way. And ask for all the help that I possibly can. That's important. A lot of men feel shame or guilt when they have anxiety or depression and they're scared to talk about it, you know? So that's powerful that you shared that. I was hiding, man. Like, I was hiding for so many years. And if the last thing didn't happen, I would probably wouldn't be here. Wow. I wouldn't be here, you know? You know, I become a part of the brotherhood, the tribe, right?

when I really hit the suicidal thoughts. I mean, I was so lazy in bed. Can you imagine being so lazy? I have my boat outside the house with all the scuba diving tanks, and I was so lazy because now I have to call my captain. I cannot drive the boat because then if I go and, you know, go and...

to the water with the scuba dive tank, like, you know, go 100 yards. It's the easiest that. I'm like, what's going to happen with the boat? So I cannot call him. I'm not going to commit suicide in front of my captain that I know him for 12 years. You know what I mean? So I have to do it. I was so lazy to walk. Thank God I was so lazy because that's why we're here. You know what I mean? And that was hard. Wow. You know, or then driving to my title company there on 28th floor, so jumped off the building. I'm like, no, maybe I'm not going to jump because,

What if I change my mind in the middle? You know what I mean? Thanks. You really had these thoughts. Oh, it was bad. Like, it was done. Like, I was like, and it's like, Yarek, you really, when you put your mind to it, you do it. And that scared me even more. Wow. And Raul was like, we have this phone calls every single day. Just think of your kids. Think of your kids. Think of your kids. And that completely get me out of it.

But it was like a day by day. And it was like people say there was like any jump. No, it was the longest process. I feel that. Yeah, I saw you say on another podcast, kids are here to teach us lessons. Yes.

Yeah, I believe that too. Because what happened is like, do you have any kids? I want kids. We just got engaged. We're getting married next year. And I want at least two, three kids. So I got five. Nice. Yeah. So believe me, all the pain, all the stuff that, you know, you see it, you know, in you. So our kids are really like, like my kids are best lessons for me because they taught me everything, you know, I struggle with.

You know, it's like, they are the mirrors. Like when you see what, and the kids always give you their feelings. They don't know how to tell you how they feel. They act up. They want us like, dad, please feel this. Like, I don't like this stuff. And, you know, and then when you start feeling and you're just understanding, you're like,

Shit, that shit triggers shit out of me because that's, I still not resolved. They're inside me. There is still my issue. But yet, you know, I did not ever realize it. So, you know. I look forward to it, man. Yeah. I didn't want them for a while, but my opinion has changed on kids. Yeah. You know?

I'm telling you, after one, two, it's like three, four, five. There's no difference. There's like, you know. Elon Musk has 11 now, I think. Yes. That's a lot, man. You want more? Yeah. You know what? No. You know, I can tell you my oldest one. I love my kids. And my daughter, she taught me good lessons, very painful lessons. And I got to tell you, without those lessons...

I need those lessons because even I always got out of it without kind of cheating and finding the ways out. You know what I mean? And my oldest ones, they really taught me the lessons. It's like, you know, because I was never present. I was always like that. It's like, why are you guys complaining? You guys have everything you can imagine. Like, you know, the only thing they wanted, they want to spend time with me. Yeah.

And I never, like, you know, I just did 100 miles on the bike. I'm tired. I have this important phone call. There's something going on in my business. I always figure out something. I never want to be present. And they want to just spend time with me, you know, because they love me. It's like, give me your time. But I give time to everybody else, not to my kids. But most important, I always forget about myself.

You know what I mean? You put yourself last. Yeah, I put myself last. Wow. And then the bucket here got emptier and emptier, and that's where the pain came. And then, you know, and then the unconscious mind, conscious mind, they were going both directions. I always tell people the devil lives right here, and God and love lives right over here in the light. And it's funny, all my financial decisions, all my relationship decisions, any good decisions in my life, I made it from here. Wow. All the decisions.

And then this is always screw up. Really? Your brain? Yeah. Because we make decisions. Everything we make, all decisions we make in our mind is based on experience. You know, we perceive our reality the way we see it. And sometimes we have to step out of ourselves and just give ourselves the opinion and give ourselves a different perspective. Interesting. But with the, you know, and in the head, we always manipulate everything what is like, you know, we can manipulate it.

in the heart is like, no, that's what I want to do. That's true. It's easy to lie to yourself. You can justify it. Yeah, people say the gut feeling is the thing. It is gut feeling. It's like, you know, it's right here. You feel it. And the best of the best of the deals, you know what I mean? And the best deals that I didn't do it,

I took myself out of it in my head. I started overanalyzing, you know. Oh, now you're older. You got to overanalyze. I want this. That's it. I'm like a little kid, three-year-old kid. I want this. I want this, you know, 100 units now. And then it's like, no.

We have to do this, this. You know what I mean? Yeah, because your brain sees the numbers, right? And it looks good. But then the business partner, your gut's telling you not to work with that person. Exactly. And then it ends up going bad. Exactly. Yeah, your gut's never wrong, man. Nope. Crazy. Nope. There must be some energy field or something that your gut can sense. You know what? The older work I do right now is...

I've done ayahuasca. My friend told me, like, Yarek, I know you for like 20 years. I know you don't believe in any shortcuts. Like, people around you, they know like you freaking work hard and there's no shortcuts or anything. It's like, but there's a shortcut. I'm like, dude, don't say these words. I'm in so much pain. Dude, there is a shortcut. So I went to the ayahuasca experience. I got out of it. I'm like,

holy shit. First of my, like really my soul, my unconscious mind, conscious mind, the first they went to war, like they went to war like constantly and then like after a few hours they start loving each other and they start guiding her this direction we're going, this direction we're going and that's when the peace came.

But I'm not going to be on the medicine all the time, right? So it's like, you know, that's where the work, the reading, and surrounding with the right people and, you know, work started. So was it a good experience? It was definitely a good experience. Nice. I've been considering taking it. Yeah. So you'd recommend it? I would highly recommend it. Okay. You got to go to, like, Brazil or something, right? Peru? Well, there's, like, I did in Orlando. Orlando. Yeah. Those are, you know, guys from...

Peru and from Costa Rica. And what I like, it's a husband and wife. So you have the masculine and feminine energy. Yeah. So you kind of like connected with the nature and everything else. And I would highly recommend it. It definitely helped me. Did you leave your body?

Yes. Seven times. Oh, my gosh. You took it seven times? Seven times. Holy crap. It was a few hours. The first few hours was horrendous. Wow. I perched a lot. The pain was unbelievable. But what happened is he kept telling me, you have to bury the old addict. Like, he's not serving you. He's like, you know what I mean? And it's funny that then when you go to the conscious mind and then you got out of the medicine and the life starts,

You're like, I like that. I don't like that. And then, you know, at least you have something that can rely in the back of your head. You know? That's cool, man. Did you see aliens? No. Okay. No. I really see myself. I saw all the pain I went through like a childhood. Like, I wasn't even aware of all the stuff that happened to me. Wow. I was like, I, you know, because we remember the story we tell ourselves. Yeah. You know? But...

Suddenly all the experience I was like, oh my God, I never even remembered that. There's a lot of past pain I remember from when I was two years old, three years old. - Wow. - The last memory I always have is when I was seven and during the medicine it was truly like I was two, three years old. - Dang.

um like even a year like it really went went down yeah I don't remember anything before like six seven yeah that's yeah so but there's some trauma because you're you're still registering that emotional trauma right when you're that little so you don't even know that you have it we carry a lot of wounds man yeah and it's like you know when you start doing the inner work and it's funny when when you share what you do and like you know when you share stuff you learn a lot about yourself

When you listen to the other people, you're like, oh, my God. I never even think of that. Yeah. I give myself like I really like I surround myself with a lot of people and I try to get out of my head. You know what I mean? Because and to give myself perspective from, you know, other people. Yeah. This podcast has been amazing for my self-development, honestly. Yeah. You know, because I never used to talk to people about my problems. Like I was pretty anti-therapy. I didn't believe in it. But I think talking is important.

Yeah, because as guys, you want to keep that shit bottled in, you know? It's looked at as weak. Exactly. You're weak. You're soft. You know, like, what are you talking about? Like, you're a man. You know that I never cried? Really? Never, ever. Not one time? Listen, never, ever. I did not cry. This was a point of weakness. When I met Raul and he went through the process, I started crying eight times a day. Damn. I'm like...

And you know the story that men crying is weak? Nope. It just releases the emotions that you don't carry, you know, otherwise. So me, by kind of releasing my tears, what it does is...

It's better to release the tears than lose my temper on somebody else who doesn't deserve it. Because if people do something and they don't do it, the stuff doesn't trigger because of them. The stuff triggers you inside that it's a trauma or wound that you didn't resolve it. But you see in other people. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, that's important. He doesn't work hard enough. This is like because I cheat. You know, I find a way. It's just like, you know, and it's like you see the stuff like, you know.

Absolutely. Expectations. Did you interview Patrick Bet-David? No, he's my neighbor. Oh, he's your neighbor. Yeah. Okay, I saw a video, I think, on your YouTube with him. We are neighbors. Got it. Yeah, we live... He moved in to my island...

I think three years ago. You got a $20 million house, right? Yeah. Something crazy? Yeah. Wow. That's a good neighbor to have. That's a good neighbor. I surround myself with good people. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I have Leo Messi parking and knocking on my door. What? Can I park my cars over here? Wow. Yeah. I put Leo Messi in our island, you know, to deal together. So the guy, he was going to buy my house.

And then because I have a master bedroom on the main floor and he got three boys and all the kids' bedroom was on the second floor, they didn't want to buy a house. So we showed my friend's house and my friend was like, well, I sell it to you by my house. So we put all the deals together. That's smart. Wait, so you sold your house? Yes. Oh, so you're not neighbors with Patrick anymore? No, I have four houses over there on this island and I live like two blocks away.

Oh, wow. So we're still neighbors. Dang. Not like, you know, like now I'm building a house, two houses down from him. Nice. Four houses there. So you really like that area. Yeah. You saw a lot of potential in it.

That's my business. Yeah. Real estate. That's how you made all your money, right? Yeah. How'd you get into that? Was it from Grant Cardone or someone? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I, I, you know what? It's again, it's a story talking to people. Okay. This was like, I have a one, one conversation. It was 90, 95. I was the last year of college and I live upstate New York. And it was one conversation at that time was my girlfriend family. And, and they said they live in the fullplex.

They rent three of them and they live in one. And I'm like, what? And we got home. It was the one conversation. We got home and I told my girlfriend at that time, hey, we're getting married. We tell everybody no gifts, just money. And we're going to use the money and I'm going to sell everything we have. Because I was buying and selling cars. Because I was like a waiter. I was working in restaurants.

and selling cars so I'm going to sell all the cars and everything else and I'm going to buy a fourplex. I have no idea. I thought the only thing I'm going to buy, I'm going to buy a fourplex, live in one of the units and the three people are going to pay for my rent, for my mortgage and I'm done. Yeah. Then the fourplex becomes second fourplex, then the third fourplex, then the...

Four plexes become 12 units, 17 units, then 50 units, then 100 units, then 200, then 1,000, 2,000. Jeez. And then the game just never stopped. Wow. What about the 08 crash? Did that affect you? I always tell people that I win lottery in 2008. Yeah? Yeah. How did you stay clear of that? Because a lot of people got wrecked. Well, here's what happened is when I bought all the stuff in real estate in 2001, 2002, and I have...

i don't know gut feeling again i lose you know it's like everybody's it's too late it's too late i was in denver colorado it's too late it's too late so i started doing foreclosures so i prepared for the crush i did not time it right of course because by 2006 like you know i was having all the start raising money for everybody and the crash wasn't happening and then when 2008 a thousand when 2008 crash happened i started buying everything like you know for like a ten cents on a dollar

10 cents on the dollar? Yeah. So I did not even sell any of my properties. But suddenly when I bought my properties, like my fourplexes, for example, at $60,000, $70,000 a door, suddenly I was buying 100 units at $10,000, $17,000 a door. Wow. So I knew I cannot be wrong. I knew I couldn't be wrong. And then after that, after the crash, I did so good because then the market went up. So I bought everything I can put my hands on.

I retired again in 2010. Oh, so you're retired. Well, I retired many times, man. I retired so many times and it's like, and that's where the mental battle started because, you know, instead of like, because we as a man, we do need a purpose. Without purpose, we're dying. The money, you can get the money. The money doesn't give you any happiness. If you don't have a purpose, you're done. Facts. So, you know what I mean? So then what happened is, oh, I want to have more kids.

It's like when you quit smoking, you're gonna start drinking. When you quit drinking, you're gonna start smoking or start eating more. We substitute our addictions. And people that are successful people, they are addicts. Like any successful person I know, there is an addict. And I'm an addict. But now we can use it in a good direction or a bad direction. And so then I have two more kids.

Oh, because I missed it, you know, because my oldest ones, you know, I was always working. I was like, I work 20, 22 hours a day. Damn. Like I was falling on a desk and then, you know, going back to work. And then suddenly I have all the time in the world, so let's have more kids.

and then that that took two years okay i'm bored okay let's start start doing ironmans okay so now training so then i can start training like over training you know one ironman second then start winning competition start winning everything and then skates didn't happen and so it's it would just substitute for for another addiction yeah i don't think i'll ever retire man yeah even if i have a hundred million a billion i don't think i'll retire

You will not. I love working. Like doing this is so fun. I feel so fulfilled. I'm getting, yeah, you see, that's what I mean. Because you find your purpose and fulfillment. And I'm telling you, when you find a purpose, it's like, and it's funny, like when I was going through my journey and then people was like, wow, find something what you love, find something what you love. And I was the first douchebag. Like, shut the fuck up. It's like, dude, you got to make money. What are you talking about? Like, you know, find something you love. And I realized that you can make money and you'll be miserable.

And like at 20, like my journey, like literally 20 years, like I was always miserable, you know, because it's like, at one point it's like, okay, you got 10 million, then you got 100 million, then you have 200 million. It just doesn't, it doesn't,

fulfill you anymore. You need to have something that have that infinite game so it never stops. Absolutely. And you definitely found the right thing. I found it. This platform, being able to share messages like yours and seeing the comments and the messages I get daily now, saving people's lives. There's been a couple suicides we've stopped that I know of. It's powerful, man. I feel really fulfilled. You touched the subject. Sorry, I'm getting this wrong. When you get to the level of suicide...

you really, your mind, you disconnect. You literally hear the voices that were never in your head. And you're like, where is this coming from? And you become so delusional that you really, your reality is the voice. And the problem is that the voice that we created, and it's hard to get out. If you, like the first thing, if anybody think of suicide or any even start even have those thoughts,

And I'm not saying go to a freaking therapist. Talk to somebody. Talk to your friends. Talk to somebody. Just don't hide it. It's like when you just get this stuff out, that's where the first step starts. But I didn't want to even tell what I'm going through because that would be, he's weak. But my voice, the longer I waited...

the voice got so loud and so clear that I was scared of the voice. And I know it wasn't mine. I know I was so delusional that I believe in the bullshit I'm telling myself. Suddenly you believe the bullshit story you're telling yourself. And if I'm on the top of the mountains and I have those issues, what about if people that have real problems? Because I have no problem at all. When 2022 happened,

I just got out of a toxic relationship, a toxic divorce. I made so much money during COVID. I mean, it's sick because when COVID happened, all the real estate just boom, right? I find a queen of my life. I have a good relationship with my kids. I mean, I have everything, but yet I'm empty inside. And the voices, I just believe those voices. And truly, I believe in the voices. And I couldn't believe how delusional I was. Wow.

And until I started like, hey, I think I have a problem. You know, I don't drink. I don't do drugs. Like, there's something like, you know what I mean? And some people laugh. It's like, dude, you don't have a problem. I'm like, don't tell me I do have a problem.

But thank God I already have the tools. I have the coaches. I have everybody. You know what I mean? So they, at least they took it serious. Right. And they just walked me through. That brotherhood. Yeah, the brotherhood. That's powerful. Because if we're not part of the, you know, when you in the, like in the tribe, because we got to be part of something, you know, like even, and you don't, I'm,

I'm talking about men because, you know, we are men and are men, so I don't know how women think. But if you kind of feel that you're part of something and you know you're in the tribe or brotherhood that, you know, you can be vulnerable and nobody's going to judge you, it's got easier. You know what I mean? And then you know when you're not alone. Because Santa's like, you know, like, I love my queen, but there's some stuff you cannot tell. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? There's some stuff that we got to, you know...

And when you have somebody that you can really like vent and you know the venting, you're not going to be criticized for it or you're not going to be judged for it. And then it's like, hey, how do we resolve this? And then we just move on. And suddenly even if somebody talk about his problem, like you said, like you create this platform, right? But in the brotherhood,

And he's like, is he fucking with me? He's talking about me. This is what I'm like. This is my voice. And then you get the lessons, how they deal with this stuff. And then we develop. Agreed. But we got to be part of the group. You cannot do anything alone. Without relationships. I mean, without even a relationship with Sam, 14 years, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here. Yeah. And it's funny. We talk, we cry, we just do everything. It's like, hey.

I love that. Brotherhood has changed my life too. I joined one when I was 21 and these guys took me under their wing and it changed everything for me. It's important to be around guys like that.

Tell me about your brotherhood. It's a mastermind, Dan Fleischman's mastermind, 100 Million Mastermind. And I was the brokest one there, but I was also the youngest. So they liked that young energy, you know. So they took me under their wing, and now I'm best friends with some of those guys six years later. Yeah. I always tell them, you surround yourself with five alcoholics, you become the sixth one. You surround yourself with five cyclists, you're going to be the sixth one.

You surround yourself with like five visionaries, you're going to be the sixth one. You surround yourself with five millionaires, you're going to be the sixth one. And it's like you really, it's like finding and being a part of it and getting the advices. Sometimes I get advice, I didn't even ask for it. And it's like, oh, thank you. I got to go, brother. What did I say?

You did something. Bye, bye, bye. And it's like, you know, I would like right away, text my office or it's like, Hey, you know, that's what I thought. You take action. Yeah. That's why you're successful, man. Yeah. It's been cool. Anything you want to, I know you got a book, anything else you want to promote or close off with? No, just my book. And just, you know, just bring that awareness to emotional fitness and the mental, because we all go through the struggle and just share the message and just, just open up and just, just, just, you know, and I know that we scared lots of men. We scared,

but it feels good. Yeah, powerful. We'll link your Instagram below and your book. Thanks for coming on, man. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for watching, guys. As always, I will see you tomorrow.