Halloween Hangxiety
53:17 Share

- Happy Halloween, everyone. Do I sound like Santa Claus?

Happy Thursday! Welcome back to Hot Mess with Alex Earle. We're getting in the Halloween spirit today. Even though Halloween was two days ago, it's okay. We have a lot to recap about Halloween. I think Halloween's my favorite holiday. And today we have our most requested guest on. She's been on the show before. She was a big whoop. She was Sebastian the Ibis. She is Hannah Knight! Hey everyone, I'm Hannah Knight.

I've had some pretty crazy Halloweens over the years, so I just thought, who better to call in than the only person that gets crazier than me? I'm honored that you thought of me for that, Ackley. That's pretty an impressive feat, if you ask me. And usually for a Halloween, we go to Key West, and oh boy, do we have stories to tell you. It gets a little scary there. ♪♪♪

This episode is presented by Sephora. Nourish yourself with hair care that really works, whatever your hair type, from brands like Amika, Kerastase, Moroccan Oil, and K18. Click or tap the banner or visit sephora.com to shop now.

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts

every three seconds on the app, and the time it takes you to get a drink. You could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it. Open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.

For Halloween, we spent probably I think the past four Halloweens together. We usually go to Key West for Halloween. This is like a U Miami tradition. And the scary thing about that is that we're really going to something called Fantasy Fest, but it is a swingers festival. It is not meant for college students. No, but the whole entire school drives down to Key West. It's like

a three-hour drive, and you literally see on Snap Maps, like, every single person in their car going down the bridge. What is that called? It is the Great Migration of you Miami students. It's a swarm. Literally, you see every Bitmoji in their little car smiling, just blackouts impending. Yes, and...

We hunker on down the Key West and this town during Halloween weekend is filled with like naked old people. I don't, how do you describe it? Like I have never seen more saggy skin in my life. You walk down. I remember our first time walking down the street was sophomore year. We had no idea what to expect. And we show up, there's like all these cute little cafes. Everything's like green and pink and beach. And then you turn the corner and

And there's an old man's ass. Yeah. Front and center, front and center. And then to the right and the left and down the street. And they're all with their wives who are equally as naked and they're all chatting each other up. It's kind of a scene. Maybe 80 years old plus. Like it is the craziest thing you've ever seen in your life. You feel like you're in a

like your own halloween town it's like hocus pocus but like make it key west make it fantasy make it naked make it 2.0 it's insanely crazy like i don't even know how to describe the aura there i think i made a youtube vlog last year of our key west trip and like you see like i i'll put the footage right now where is this from this is like a bird oh

Right here the lifeguards and crazy town - sausages

I love Key West. Every street is like shut down and people are just like walking and partying. There's like a main strip of bars. What's that road called? Duval. Duval Street! Did you forget Duval? Oh my god, it's so good. We're already growing up and growing old. And I think the air in Key West is different. I don't think they're pumping enough oxygen down there. They're pumping something else. They're pumping aerated...

insanity it's not okay like the state of mind that we're all in during Key West like I don't know what happens but we just become new people and we have very scary stories it's like never a cute time there but like the best time at the same time after everyone drives down to Key West we finally get there you get to your hotel it is only a Friday and Saturday that you're there but it's like

a constant like 48 hours of going out it's insanity it's it is a manic episode for everyone there um so you pull up that friday everyone is just beyond excited they're shaking and that is probably the only night that anyone actually looks good yeah yeah that is that's the night you like actually you do your best costume because you're the most alive for it but you get ready at like

4 p.m. when you get there and you go out until like 4 a.m. Yeah. There's no stopping. And then after 4 a.m., you're up at what, 8 a.m. the next day to do it all again? Because you go out drinking during Saturday day, people get changed and then do Saturday night. And like Saturday day, people wear actual bikini outfits Saturday day. Like you wear a bikini with something to like make it Halloween-y. Like I would wear a black bikini in this and be a witch. And...

Then the other times where you have like you're more serious, but still naked costumes. I've slept fully through costumes before. Like every year that I go, my costumes don't go as planned. Like never. I never make it to like doing all three of them to the full extent because you're just so disheveled. And like, I'm just, I literally one year just like took a cowboy hat off someone on the road and like

Put it on I was like that's my costume There we go I'm done no that's the worst feeling though Waking up on Sunday and looking at the A hundred dollars you spent on your costume And you didn't wear any of it no yeah you don't You don't wear any of it And then the drive back from Key West Oh god is

I had a terrible drive back my first year. Yeah. So I did not want to leave. I was in denial about the fact that we had to go back to Miami. This... Okay, so this is our first year before we had left on the Sunday morning. We got a brunch and we all went to brunch. Hannah's like... I maybe took...

A little drinks at brunch. We're all like, okay, the party's over. We're so hungover. Like, no guys, keep it going. Hannah's like, wait, this place is the best. She's like, can I have shots? Like another round of shots at the brunch. She got cut off at brunch from drinking. And then we, everyone else left, but Kate and Kristen really wanted to like walk around and just kind of enjoy Key West for like, it's wholesome vibes because now like the swinger fest had gone. Right.

But I was like, okay, this is a great opportunity to keep doing what we've been doing. So I had...

Fat Tuesday slushies, drink at brunch. We leave brunch, Kate, Kristen and I stay and we go to Fat Tuesdays. I have a couple of slushies there and we just keep wandering around the streets. Kate and Kristen are just enjoying the music, getting souvenirs and I am getting drunk. So we get back to the car. Finally, we're like, all right, it's time to face reality. We have to go to back, back to Miami at some point. And we get in the car and I'm tired. We were drinking. I immediately fall asleep.

I wake up. I'm in Kristen's Jeep. The top is off. I'm in a dark parking lot. I'm drenched in sweat. It is like 95 degrees outside. I'm looking around. I'm like, where am I? And then I look to the front seat and I'm like, where's Kristen and Kate? I have no idea where they are.

surprise my phone is dead and so i'm just sitting here like hoping they didn't get kidnapped or something it's been like 25 minutes at this point weren't you like dying of heat exhaustion in the car no i was actually dying they did not leave the ac on kristen was like we'll just crack the roof and everything will be okay she'll be fine i was literally a dog

And they come back and I'm like, guys, where were you? They were like, oh my God, we just got the best dinner ever. The sun was setting. We were at this outdoor restaurant by the beach. I am wet. Clawing onto the windows. Let me out. But we finally made it back and that was the best shower I've ever taken in my life. Oh my God, that's so funny. You could have died. No, yeah, fully. Yeah.

Another fun fact about Key West is that they have these pirate ships that float around the streets and it's not like a little pirate ship. It's a full pirate ship. We do? Yeah. I missed it. We have to go back to see the pirate ship. And I think people like rent these big ships. They play music like it. I need to show a photo so you guys know what I'm talking about. It is like

The size of an actual cruise just floating down the street. I'm like flagging it one year. I'm like, oh my God, like let us on, let us on. And these guys let us on their pirate ship. And I'm hanging on to the front of this pirate ship. Like I am the girl from Titanic like this. I'm like, oh my God, naked. This is the pirate ship. It's literally not real life. My first year there, it was sophomore year. And I was just like,

out of my boots to be there. I'd heard stories. I'd heard the rumors of what this weekend was like. And it was just, it was a bit of me. The first night I was a butterfly. So wholesome. Oh no. I had my pink sparkly bodysuit on. I decided I was going to get butterfly face tattoos. So like the little wings all around my eyes. I was like, wow, I ate. I'm literally the cutest butterfly on the block. And yeah,

So we go out and I drank a little bit too much and I decided, okay, it's, it's time for Hannah to go home. I'm standing at the hot dog stand. I didn't voice any of these concerns either. I was just running them in my head. I'm like, okay, check time to go home. And, um, Brooke and I are buying hot dogs. My hot dog proceeds to fall onto Brooke's foot. And I'm like,

that's my green light i grab the hot dog scarf it and start booking it but your green light for what to go home okay i was just like this is my moment this is my opportunity i grab it and go i'm sprinting down the street and brooke's chasing after me like hannah where are you going like this is not like okay right now and if you've ever worn doc martens you know that it is like having a

two school buses taped to your feet.

so i'm trying to book it down this street i'm like oh my god the crowd is cheering for me there's someone to my left going like oh my god she's usain no they were saying oh my god she's insane like the butterfly has taken flight yeah she's off she was soaring and there was no stopping her and then brooke and i she's 10 feet behind me trying to follow me but um

And right outside the hotel, I just the steel toe on that Doc Martin gets trapped and I go splat. The butterfly got squished onto the pavement and I fly like I'm fucking going for home base. And my face ate the ball. So to preface this, I had gone home. We were staying at two different hotels this year.

And I wake up the next morning to my group chat going crazy, going crazy. All of a sudden, all I see, I'm infiltrated with photos of Hannah smashed in face, scars, blood all over her body with this butterfly. And at first I didn't realize the butterfly makeup was on your face. So I thought you literally have been

ran over it looked so bad because all the tattoos now were mangled in with with scabs this was not like a normal bruise like oh my god she hit her head no like this was wait did you break your tooth during this too no oh not this time that was a different time but the next day it actually worked out really really well because the next night i was a firefighter

And someone while we were out at the bar was like, oh my God, how did you get your face burns to look so real? I'm like, okay, this worked out. You don't understand the severity of Hannah's face during this. Yeah.

Oh my god, it was the most haunted picture I've ever seen in my entire life. And like, if you guys are looking at it now, for anyone listening, like you need to just maybe if there's one thing you watch during this episode, it's just looking at these photos of Hannah's face because they're honestly golden at this point. At the time it was not golden. It's our most treasured photo. Oh,

In Key West, they have this little like tattoo station right outside the bar. Very conveniently placed for all the drunkies to go get their tattoos. And these tattoos, they're not permanent, but they're like semi-permanent. So they're like three month permanent tattoos. And for some reason, I don't know why, but I decided to get a monkey on like my left butt cheek. And...

you know, whatever. I get the monkey. As one does. I'm going about my day and like all of a sudden I had like smeared it like soon after getting it. I don't remember how I smeared it, but it was all over my arm, all over my hand, like everywhere. And I was like, oh, like this is fine, whatever.

But because it was semi-permanent, I had this smeared monkey butt for like three months. I went home for Thanksgiving. My mom was like, what is it? I had black all over my arm, like all down my one thigh. Like, I don't know what happened there. But like the tattoo parlor right outside the bar always gets me. Like that's always a big downfall for me. So I had monkey butt, which is what we call that for a while. That's like a great name for it, though. Yeah. And also that night, I...

do you know that i went on someone's like yacht? you did?

I don't know where I was wandering off and I wandered to a dock and just strolling around the dock looking at the boats and there's this one boat and I see like lights on in the kitchen and like the door was open and it was a yacht like you could see a full living room in there like there was like a mansion built on this boat and I was like okay like whatever they were calling your name and they formally invited you so I'm drunk with this smeared monkey ass I and

And like, oh my gosh, I hop over the dock onto this boat. Like a monkey. Like a spider monkey gripping on. Yeah.

I get onto this boat. First of all, what, like, what's the joy of this Alex? So these like nice fancy, like rich people are probably having like a nice dinner on this boat and I'm crawling around it like this, like going through the sides and I'm, I'm peeking in the windows and I'm with this guy, like, I don't know why, whatever. And I saw this guy.

Alex fell in love this weekend. I had a husband. We'll talk about that next. And I literally like all I wanted, I saw that they had like Lay's chips in the window. That might have been what called me in. That was definitely it. I look in like the kitchen window. You could see from the outside of the boat. I saw like a bag of yellow Lay's chips. And I was like, Alex hungry.

it's hungry now and I'm crawling around the boat and like all of a sudden I hear people like coming out of this room on the boat and obviously I can't be seen or I'm gonna get like arrested which we'll get to in a minute I literally run I sprint to like the top layer of the boat and I sat there with this guy for like two hours just stargazing on this random person's boat and like thinking about this now I'm like

what like was i doing like if someone had saw me like they probably would have like shot me or like i was gonna say you definitely thought you were being so stealthy but you probably were you didn't get discovered yeah so that was my one did you not talk to anyone on the boat no i just like that's honestly impressive i'm impressed so i was uh what do they call it froggers are those like the people that live in your house and you don't know they're there lodgers no squatters

Oh, no, it's called frogging. Frogging. I think that's from a movie. No, it's squatting. No, it is definitely squatting. No, I think it's squatting and frogging. Well, whatever. I was squatting. It's not frogging. I was squatting down in someone's boat. And... You made a nice little home for yourself. I did. And then I left. I just wanted the Lay's chips and then I would leave. But I think we need to describe to them this, like, costumes that people wear during this. Like, these aren't, like...

Like regular costumes. Like I was Cinderella last year, but I wore like a bra and underwear and I was like, Cinderella. This goes back to freshman year actually, because I think this was even different at our school, like as a whole. Yeah. Like Alex and I went in freshman year. Freshman year, Hannah and I had the sluttiest costumes that the freshman dorms had ever seen, I think. I guess.

We thought that it was just we talked to older girls and they were like, yeah, like everyone wears like their butt out and their boobs out. And we were like, OK, I did. But just I think freshmen were like hesitant to do that. And we were like, no, not us. No, we went full fledged. And I won the Halloween costume at the bar. Oh, my God, you did. Yeah, that was good. See where them booty chicks get you. Key West, everyone's naked.

Yes, it's worse than it was freshman year. But honestly, it's kind of like a, it's a cult, I would say. Understanding that everyone is just enjoying themselves as little as possible. As much as there is cameras there and everything, like it feels like you're not being like judged. Like you don't feel like you're in like,

the united states like you've i feel like we went to like a different life it's a parallel universe like i feel like i went to like dreamland and everyone there just like does not give a shit like you just walk the streets naked like you people are doing insane disgusting things like in the middle of the street and like no one blinks an eye it's like here we go except the bouncers blink an eye oh my god the bouncers are very very strict there and scary if you bring a fake id to this place you

No doubt you are getting arrested. So this is another part of Key West is that everyone gets arrested and the morning after going out, it's like a game. Like everyone goes to breakfast and you look around and you scroll through the local like jail cell and look at like- Local jail cell. The Key West police-

um like website and it's like page six yeah and you scroll and we literally like oh that's our friend adam that's our friend david like look at them all on here all arrested yeah so if you go you will get arrested probably like it's like the odds are good the odds are you gotta be on your best behavior i'm pretty sure this girl we know like whopped one of the officers one time in the street is

She was, I think, trying to get her brother into one of the bars and the bouncer started getting aggressive and she said, nope, I'm taking this into my own hands. Absolutely whopped him. One of our friends almost got arrested and I forget what she was doing. She was being definitely bad and the police goes on his walkie-talkie. It was...

Oh my god yes and she sprinted away And he goes on the walkie talkie He's like girl with the long black extensions Two piece black outfit like He called her out The bad clippings He was like arrest now like whatever like detain her And so like all the cops Have been notified and I rip

off her wig and I'm like you run as far as you can as fast as you can and I think her phone was dead but I was like just don't get arrested like we don't have time for this right now. Yeah. I found her like two hours later like five blocks down at like a biker bar. She's like having the best time of her life. She's completely fine. She doesn't even know she's lost.

In Key West, there's probably like a handful of hotels and then there's also Airbnbs that people stay at. So it's a mix of both. And like every hotel and every Airbnb on the street is like you Miami people. Like it is shut down like crazy town. Yeah. And I think the worst part about this, or actually this might be the best part, but we...

We always waited until really late to book. And so the only places that were left were places that looked like army barracks. Like they were this thin and they were just bunk beds.

So every night you'd come home from being like distressed, so tired. And your friend was with a boy on the top bunk. Like we literally stayed in rooms that were like the size of this bed right now. But there would be like five beds in there. And like everyone's getting ready for Halloween on the floor. And like the room over is like the frat guys. The room over is like another room of girls. Like it was literally just like we shut down this town. Last year, my boob implant almost popped.

stopped so we're at this bar and this was the first time that someone had ever come up to me asking for a picture because we were so excited for you like this was crazy for us too we were like go last october and i had like a few hundred thousand followers and someone like came up to me and was like are you alex earl and i was like yeah and she's like can i have a photo with you and i was like

I was like, what the fuck? Like, call me fucking Justin Bieber. What's going on? Who is she? You want a photo with me? I was like, okay. So I'm like going to take a photo with this girl and someone that we used to hang out with.

came up to me and was like, can I take a photo with you? And punches me like full throttle. So hard in the tit. Mike Tyson that tit. I saw stars. I was like, I was holding my boob in my little Kill Bill costume. And I was like, I think that my boob implant just popped. She killed Bill. She killed my boob. And so, yeah. So it's a guy. Yeah.

It's still there. Yeah, it survived and the friend didn't. Oh, that's so good.

also in key west i think we should describe to them like the bar scene of what it looks like because it really is just like one two blocks of like straight bars and there's like a few that are just like popping off at all times fat tuesdays ricks oh my god oh like the fat tuesdays in there it is like you are a sausage in a

What are sausage in? You're a sausage in a casing. No. No, you're a sardine. You're a sardine. You're a sardine. Oh, my God. Sausage.

You're like a sardine in this bar. It's so much fun. And like the sides of the bar are like open. It's just like a railing. And like when people don't want to wait in line to get in because all the bars have like long lines. People are like hopping the side and like the police is like ripping you down. It's insane. There's also a wall just of...

spinning drinks and you're literally hypnotized by all these colors and alcohol. Yeah, the sugary Fat Tuesdays cups will put you out. Oh, they'll do more than that. And,

Oh my gosh. I actually, I probably blame this on the big frozen Fat Tuesdays drinks. 100%. There was something in them. No, but I'm talking about my own experience at Fat Tuesdays. So I'm talking to this guy and maybe my stomach was getting a little twisty because I was nervous talking to this guy. It was the sugary tequila drink mixed with like the nerves of talking to a boy. And all of a sudden I feel like, oh,

I'm like, wait, I feel a little wet between my butt cheeks. It wasn't because of the guy. A little shart had slipped out.

I didn't know if I just shit my pants. So I'm like, oh, I really have to go. I run to the bathroom and I sharted my pants in Fat Tuesdays. Keep in mind, we're in bikinis. Like you are a brave soul. I had like a white bikini. Oh no, I think I had like a pink bikini bottom on at this point. And I was like, holy shit. Like I just sharted my pants. Like whatever, we continue on with the day. Flash forward. She did clean them, everyone. Yes. Flash forward a few months after Halloween.

Yik Yak, the anonymous app where you can like write in things, became popular at our school and everyone was kind of like roasting each other. And someone said on Yik Yak, Alex Earl sharted her pants in Fat Tuesdays. And I was so fucking mad. Keep in mind, there's only a few people that like really knew that story. The only people that knew that was like our big girl friend group group.

group chat and like so there was a rat so someone was a fucking rat and someone told someone that i sharted my pants and they wrote it on yik yak you got outed i don't know and now you're outing yourself honestly i don't know if i should put this in the episode probably not but girls don't poop oh my god girls don't poop they just shart ever oh god so

And then the other bar, Rick's, is a playground. You could be in there for hours because it's downstairs. There's like 10 different locations. Downstairs, upstairs, sideways. Like there's 45 different bars within this one bar, which are my favorite types of bars to go to. Yeah. Every single level you could see something else. Like up here, I was actually, I left all of my friends one night to just hang out with the swinger moms and just was dancing with them the entire night. They were the coolest people I've ever met. Um,

But then you go over there Someone's in a screaming match With their girlfriend Someone over here Is literally asleep on the ground Oh Well someone was in a screaming match With their girlfriend And the girlfriend chucked Someone

something at my head do you remember this um so this guy and this girl at my school they like had broken up and the guy like really liked me always tried flirting with me but i was like not interested in him i was like friends with him whatever but the girlfriend or the ex-girlfriend got like very like mad about this and like grew a hatred for me she was territorial so

They were fighting in Key West and this guy left his like phone and wallet at the bar. So I'm like, I probably should not have walked up in the middle of their fight, but I'm 10 frozen fat Tuesday drinks down and they're fighting and I go up to him and I'm like, oh, hey, like you left your stuff at the bar and I hand him his wallet. This girl takes the wallet and chucks it so fast at my head. I was like, bonk. I was like, oh.

Wait, actually, what is in the Fat Tuesday's hair? What is in the Key West hair? Like, actually. I don't know. Something possesses everyone's soul. That was my second time getting assaulted in Key West. So I was like, I'm just going to keep on going. I just walked away. I was like, I'm so sorry about that. So the other amazing thing about Rick's is that on one of their many levels, it's like the Barbie Dreamhouse for drunk people. It is the drunk girl's Barbie Dreamhouse. Yeah.

Is on the bottom level, they have a full concert venue.

for the number one rock band of all time. I've never seen, I've never seen a band better. The Dirtbags. And I've never seen people go so feral for a band that they don't know anything about. Because this band doesn't have their own music. They just play other like classic hits that everyone loves. And like you lose your mind. Like I've, I've been to concerts. I've been Starstruck. I don't like ever do this. We have, they have like a rope in front of the Dirtbags. I'm reaching over them. I'm like,

like please like oh my god they're perfect and the one guy has little hair that like flaps in the wind like or his his beard flaps in the wind like this like a little hello to the

and oh my god it's the best thing ever you can like also venmo them for song requests which is so fucking dangerous has lost a thousand dollars to the dirtbag request so have i because like they have such a long list of requests that basically like the venmo thing's just like a money grab and you're drunk and you're like oh they're gonna play my song i venmo them like a hundred dollars

probably not that much probably like 20 probably like five but I Venmo them and like just in hopes that they would play my song and they never did I have a really mortifying story about the dirtbags though my it was junior year junior year we were there this night I was especially excited to see the dirtbags and I was a cowboy's cheerleader and I decided to go

extra ham this Halloween. So I had a 28 inch ponytail in my hair and because I was headbanging to this band, my tiny thin actual ponytail was poking out the side of my extensions, like hanging out. And I really thought that this band was singing to me. So I was trying...

To clamber on the stage. I was actually physically going over the rope and trying to hop myself up on the stage. They wanted me up there. So I thought, no, they didn't. They called security on me.

And I got carried out of the bar by security and there's the funniest photo. I think Kristen has it. And it's from the back and all you see is my 28 inch ponytail. My little real ponytail. And then just the security guard like manhandling me out of this concert.

oh it's okay okay oh god wait i just realized in my head that we went to qs three years for some reason i was thinking it was only two yeah no we went three years of my life i know we have to go back

All my episodes are about college. Like, girl, get a fucking grip. To be fair, we have a lot of ground to cover. Yeah, we do. In respects to actually telling stories about what happened. Also, in respects of people, like, getting to know me and getting to know us. Like, they need to know where we come from. I know you said that in your last podcast and I was thinking about it and I was like, you've never actually told what going out with you is like or what we actually do as a friend group. I think that this is important. Yeah, it is. We're definitely, like...

Very similar. Yes. Oh my God. This was the other thing I was thinking in your last podcast when you were talking to Ashton and you were like,

yeah i'm usually drawn to people who are like very calm and whatever alex and i are each other's enablers we are too similar in the fact that if we are ever alone together do something act yeah we're like the two friends that like can't go out together because it's just never gonna end up good and that was a prime example of our freshman year because yeah

we went out every night together monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday so people had to intervene like our friends were like you guys need to get apart from each other because we were literally like like all of a sudden it's a monday night i have an exam in the morning and then the next thing you know we're like in some rolls royce getting like flown out all we had to do was just give like the

are you going out? Yeah, I'm like, wait, but are you going out? And she's like, well, only if you're going out. And I'm like, okay, well. Well, then, so yes. Then I guess we're going. I think we're definitely both really fun. I would...

I would say, though, I think I'm a little bit more responsible. You are. Well, no, that's not even an I think. Okay, yeah, cool. I just, I think there's something about going out where my brain leaves the chat. Also, your phone. Your phone always dies. My phone, that's definitely a liability issue. No one can contact Hannah. Like, she's just, like, out there in the world. I'm very present in the moment. Now that we graduated...

I feel like it's not frowned upon to go back. People go back to Key West, but I feel like one year out, it's a little weird. That would just be a little weird. It's a little washed up, but we'll definitely be back soon.

soon. Yeah, but this year we're going to New York. And Alex has like a huge party she's throwing on Saturday. Yeah, so all of our friends from Miami are all migrating down to New York for Halloween and I'm hosting a party. I'm like what? Yeah.

I'm hosting a party. Sophie Tucker's playing. I'm so excited. But I just think like we have to make it our own version of Key West. Like we have to make Manhattan Key West somehow. So we should run a biochip and go through the streets of New York is what I'm hearing.

And I'm so excited and scared for what this year is going to be like. But obviously, taking you guys with me. I'm not leaving you guys out. Don't worry. We're all experiencing this year's Halloween together. I'm scared. It's going to be fun, I think, hopefully. And now this year we get to wear like...

actual real costumes we get to wear clothes like we're gonna put on like a cool outfit instead of just like a bra and undies so this should be a fun year

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.

and the time it takes you to get a drink. You could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it. Open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.

This episode is brought to you by Joiba Bubble Tea. If you're a fan of bubble tea, then you guys have to try this range from Joiba. I've seen this all over my TikTok and personally, my little siblings are obsessed with this Joiba Bubble Tea. They show me videos all the time. So Joiba Bubble Tea, it comes in several delicious flavors.

fruity flavor tea combinations and popping boba. Joyba has fun flavors like strawberry lemonade, green tea, and mango passion fruit green tea. Enjoy your popping boba moment anytime, anywhere with Joyba bubble tea. Follow Joyba on Instagram and TikTok at joyba.fun for fun giveaways and to find a retailer near you.

We finally made it to New York City. Tonight we are going out to this club, which I'm hosting a party. I think that I have to like go up and say hi. I'm going to be in the DJ booth and I'm going to like say hi after I've had a few drinks. So I don't know.

I don't know what's gonna come out of my mouth, so that will be scary. Stay tuned for that. But I'm in the city, all my friends are here. Everyone from Miami came to New York and then my friends from high school, Sally and Isabella, made it here. Tonight is gonna be a lot of fun. My first costume tonight is Madonna.

And I had this corset custom made. I guess it's like a bodysuit that has like this cone bra look. I don't even think I'm going to be able to breathe in it. And I'm wearing a wig. We are going full out. So I'm very excited. I'm a little nervous. I hope it turns out okay. We're all going to go to the club together. Oh, it should be interesting. My friends are here now. Here they come. They don't want to say hi right now. Look at them.

Oh my gosh. So tonight's going to be a long night. And then we're going to sit and recap you guys tomorrow with what happened. I did Kristen's hair. She's going to be sleeping beauty. So hopefully this turns out okay. She saw me struggling and was like, I got to step in. Hollow weekend. Here we come. Okay, let's get ready. Madonna is here. Hello.

I was really bad last night. I was big Allie and I am embarrassed for anyone who saw me. This is Sally. Actually, you guys haven't met Sally before. She's my friend. She's my friend from high school. So Sally and Isabella right here. I've been friends with them for eight years. Eight years. That's crazy. Like that makes us sound old. Or is it more?

No, it's eight. Is it nine now? Oh my god, it's almost nine. I think it's, yeah, because, ew. Well, first of all, no one knew what I was. Everyone was thinking that I was Marilyn Monroe or Miley Cyrus. Everyone on TikTok was like, this doesn't look like Madonna. I thought you were... I thought at eight, whatever. She became Madonna. I became Madonna last night. I really embodied, like, a crazy bitch.

I don't know if she's a crazy bitch. She's definitely a lovely lady. But I was crazy. I got hoisted away by the security many times. And I got yelled at many times. She, like, became...

Not Alex. I don't know who she was. She was, like, performing. I was performing for everyone. Yeah, it was actually, like, I was witnessing a movie scene. Everything about it. I was so happy. And, like, I don't know. Like, wigs, like, I don't know. Maybe I should cut my hair and dye it like that because I felt so free. Like, flipping my head around with that, like, short hair. I was just like, no one can stop me. Yeah. To, like, start it off, we went to...

this club that I was hosting a party and we got there and they were like playing this Madonna remix and had us go up on the stage. So me, Sally and Isabella went in the DJ booth. DJ booth. Every bad night starts and ends with the DJ booth. At this point, I hadn't had anything to drink.

So it was like kind of awkward because I was like dancing and this was my first sober time in the DJ booth. And then it's kind of scary because there's like way too many people looking at you. But we went upstairs. Literally, my family was there. Like my friends were there. It was a great time. But...

This is definitely where we went downhill first because when we first got to the table, I took two shots in a row, like multiple times because I was like playing catch up because it was 1 a.m. and I hadn't had anything to drink yet. So I just like took...

Probably like six shots in the first like 20 minutes. Alex was on the table. She was getting picked up off the table. We're having a great time and I became like a legitimate psychopath. I don't know if it was like sleep deprivation or what.

But like I was dancing and like whipping my head around like i'm surprised the wig didn't fall off I was hanging over the railing at the club and i'm Literally praying to god that this doesn't end up on my for you page and I don't see it somewhere But I was hanging over the railing like so dangerous and the security guard kept coming up to me and I was like Let me live Like oh my god We were at this club for like way too long and then

This girl texted me to come to this other party. And I'm imagining like a club close by, whatever. We get in this Uber and we get in the car and he's like, this isn't your Uber. Like, this isn't the right car. And I was like, that's fine. We just need to go to this address. Like, I'll Venmo you. He said yes. And...

If you're listening, don't do this at home. And there was also one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. There was like 10 of us in this car, like sitting everywhere, all on top of each other's laps. And I thought like, it's okay. Cause we're just going to like go down the road. Like, that'll be fine.

We're in this car ride. Something possessed me to hang out of the window the entirety of the car ride. Like, I'm, like, having this biggest scaries right now because I'm, like, what if my head literally just, like, got decapitated? Like, I was hanging out and I was also upside down in the Uber. Like, my head was in the girl's crotch that, like, I was sitting with. And, like, of course, this was, like, the one girl that, like, I actually, like, I'm, like, not that close with her. Like, I don't really know her that well.

And I like my head was in her crotch and I think she was like freaking out and like getting very claustrophobic and like I was twerking on her face. She was in a headstand on this girl. I'm so sorry Ella. And then whatever we're in the car for a while and Brooke is in the front seat and she keeps being like hey Alex like do you know like where we're going? I'm like yeah like this address this address whatever.

All of a sudden, she's like, Alex, we're, like, leaving Manhattan. We're going to Brooklyn. And all of a sudden, we're crossing this bridge and we're going to Brooklyn. And I remember the bridge because I was out the sunroof at this point now. And my head was flapping in the wind like a dog. It was the happiest Madonna there ever was. And...

We go to Brooklyn. So now I'm like, whatever. This club's in Brooklyn. Not a big deal. We pull up and we're outside like an apartment complex and there's like a big line outside. For some reason, I like bustled my way to the front and like, I don't know how they let us in the door, but we were like all squished, like clamoring to get in. So we get to this apartment. We're like going up to the floor that this party is on and we walk in and I'm

freaking out because for some reason i have been to this apartment before and i was at this apartment for like a nba draft party like a summer or two ago and i had like a very like weird cryptic night at this apartment and i was also there and i was there till the sun came up so then you know when you're drunk and you like repeat yourself a million times i how many times last night did i say like

At least 500. In all the videos, we're like, Alex is just like, we'll just be talking and Alex is just like, guys, but I've been here. Like, I've been to this apartment. Guys, do you know I've been to this apartment before? That's why I know where the bathroom is upstairs. Oh my God. Yes. So they didn't want to let us go upstairs to the bathroom.

But mind you, in this Madonna costume, I was strapped up, belted up, Spanx tights, like 10 layers. Like there was no going to the bathroom for Madonna. So I was like, fine, I don't need to pee. Like I'll hold it in for somehow.

My brain. For some reason, I didn't actually end up having to pee the whole entire night. But when we got to this apartment, I was like, you know what? It's time for me to pee. Of course, it's like Alex, like everyone's going home in an hour. Like, just hold it in. No. So we go to the bathroom.

After fighting our way to get up there, the security was like, no. And I was like, I need to go. Being the smart person that I am, I was like, you know what? Because usually when you're wearing a bodysuit, you can like scoot it over to the side so you can like pee.

But I had Spanx and tights on under this bodysuit. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to move the bodysuit over to the left of my vagina. And I'm just going to pee through the Spanx and the tights. Like, that's fine with me. So I sat on the toilet. I peed. And I don't think I could, like...

fully move the bottom part of the bodysuit over because like it was so tight so i just peed through my madonna costume in the toilet and i guess i got my period because not like a lot of blood but a little bit of blood so this is like where everything gets really dark i'm walking around this party like i was like limp like like crazy eyes whatever we're outside and sally's taking a video of me

I'm standing here. I think she's taking a video because I'm like, I can't walk and I'm tripping. All of a sudden, she's like, Alex, did you get your period? On the bottom of my costume is blood. And I...

It's because I peed through the costume that the pee, like, soaked up everywhere and it took the blood and just... It just spread. So, like, the whole bottom part of the vagina of this costume was covered in blood and I was walking around with my blood on my costume. I, like, would not be opposed to, like, going to the hospital. Okay. Should we get IVs? I have a story about this, too. So, when you get, like, an IV for your hangover...

It's supposed to hydrate you and make you feel good. But they can miss your vein. And when they do that, your arm blows up like a balloon. Oh, is that what happened? That's what it is. Because I went to a meeting one day, really hungover. I was out till like 5 a.m. I went to a meeting the next morning at like 9 a.m. because...

girls gotta do both over here and I'm sitting in this meeting and it's like at this guy's house so he was like okay I have this like doctor who comes over she's doing IVs today like do you want one and I was like um sure like I'm pretty hungover and

So she goes in my arm. All of a sudden I'm like, I don't know. Like this kind of hurts. Like this usually doesn't hurt. I look over. My arm is filled with blood the size of like a fucking balloon. And I was like, all of a sudden,

I feel myself starting to get like sweaty the blood's rushing from my head I was like i'm gonna pass out so I we i'm like I have to go to the bathroom like I don't feel good. This story gets even worse So I wheel myself to the bathroom with this ivy thing. It's hanging in my arm. I'm

in the like same room but just like in the bathroom so there's just like a door dividing me between like the guy i'm having a meeting with and like me and i'm puking and like he can obviously hear me like because he's right next door and i like come out wheeling my thing and he's like are you okay i was like yeah i'm good and then

He FaceTimes Kim Kardashian and I'm sitting here on the verge of passing out on FaceTime with Kim Kardashian. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on right now? And then I didn't like say anything to her because I was like, whatever. And he was like, you were so shy and awkward. I was like, little did you know, I was just about to die. So it's Sunday today and Tuesday is actual Halloween, the 31st. And Heidi Klum is having a party today.

Well, she has a party every year. And last year she was like that weird caterpillar worm. Worm. Like a rainforest worm. I'm somehow like invited to the party. So we're going. And this costume on Tuesday is definitely like my favorite costume for this year's Halloween. Heidi Klum's party goes until 4 a.m. or something. And I want to leave the next morning to go back to Miami. So I booked us flights for 7 a.m.

So I'm going to have to go right from the party to Miami. In that glam? Yeah, I did it. You're going to be in the costume. For Heidi Klum's, I'm being this white witch from Narnia. It's going to be so good. But like we have this big custom made gown. I'm gluing like these icicles to my head. It's actually funny how I came up with my Narnia costume because I like would never have thunk. Whoa. Whoa.

I would have never thought to be someone from Narnia, but I was telling NFL man, I was like, sometimes you kind of remind me of that, like, goat man from Narnia. And he's like, what are you talking about? And I was like, I don't know. Sometimes you just, like, resemble him, even though he doesn't. I was just like, wait, for some reason, like, you're just giving that goat man right now. So I looked up, like, Narnia characters, and then I saw the White Witch, and I was like, wait, she's cool. So that's how I came up with this costume, and...

Yeah, it's fun. But I kind of miss being really naked and slutty on Halloween. I think we need to incorporate that a little bit.

Little bit more next year. Like, I was putting on my costume last night and it was just, like, some of my booty cheeks were out, but I was wearing tights. And the tailor was like, ooh, like, scandalous. Like, look at the butt out. And I was like, this is actually the most covered I've ever been on Halloween. And I'm, like, very depressed about it. Like, usually I'm, like, in a thong, no tights. All right. Well, now I have to...

recover. I have some stuff to do for work tomorrow and then we are going to Heidi Klum's Halloween bash and I'm going to transform into Ice Queen. Let's see if I can pull it off.

This episode is brought to you by Mejuri. You know, I had a thought the other day. Since Rwanda jewelry becomes something we only bought on special occasions, Mejuri approaches fine jewelry a little bit differently. Each one of their pieces is handcrafted by jewelers committed to quality craftsmanship as well as ethical and sustainable jewelry production. Created by women for women, Mejuri is breaking down barriers in what has long been an exclusive and occasional category of men buying for women.

In 2020, the brand launched the Mejuri Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals. Because fine jewelry doesn't have to cost the world, feel good about your jewelry in more ways than one. Start stacking your favorites, shop online, or visit the website to find a store near you. This episode is brought to you by Joiba Bubble Tea. If you thought bubble tea was just a trend, think again. In fact...

Now you can have it in the comfort of your own home. I have seen it all over my TikTok page. Ooh, bubble tea. Ooh, ooh, ooh. I'm like, okay, what is this? I need to try it. All of my friends are now drinking it. Joiba bubble tea comes in several delicious fruity flavored tea combinations with popping boba, like strawberry lemonade green tea and mango passion fruit green tea. Enjoy your popping boba moment anytime, anywhere with Joiba bubble tea. Follow Joiba.

Joyba on Instagram and TikTok at joyba.fun for fun giveaways and to find a retailer near you.

Okay, we're on the way to go to Heidi Klim's party. I am Jadis the White Witch from Narnia. I'm running late, so I have to go. I have a wire stabbing me in my head, and I, again, can't be in this costume. So wish me luck tonight. Bye. ♪♪♪