My Home Invasion Story (ft. Mean girls & Pee)
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You know why I'm so excited for this episode today? It's because I'm at home doing nothing and I have never been more excited in my life. I have not been home for more than maybe like three or four consecutive days in Miami since, I don't think since January. Like I have been traveling around so much and as much as that is fun, I'm so excited to like sit at home and be at home and not live out of a suitcase.

and be able to get things from my closet. I'm gonna go get groceries this week. I even spent my Saturday night this weekend cleaning my room. Like I was just excited for the little things. I was like, I actually really don't want to go out while I'm home. I don't wanna do anything. I just wanna like be with my friends, be with my boyfriend,

chill, relax, get work done. And when I say that I'm home and I don't want to go out and don't want to party, I'm probably still gonna have a few drinks, right? But I don't want to go out to the bar and get really dressed up and have to stand and talk and that just kind of seems exhausting, surprisingly. But something my friends and I did, which was so much fun, and I was like, wait,

I'm having more fun than we actually have going out is we just went to happy hour. Like my friends and I went, we sat around at bar stools at this little table. We got tacos and we got spicy margaritas and I had the best night of my life. Like we were just there for two hours talking and I was like, why don't we do this more often? But I don't know. I think that's something I need to start doing more because sometimes going out is like very daunting. And I feel like anyone who needs a good idea of something to do in lieu of a night going out is...

have some drinks, have a wine night and just sit and talk with your friends. Like that to me is so much more fun than going out to a bar where you can't hear anyone. And okay, well, I'm kind of lying because I do like to go out too. But I'm just saying, I feel like there's some nights when you force going out, like you don't actually want to go out, but you just want to go out to do something because it's the weekend, which is totally fine. But I feel like go to happy hour with your friends and do something like that.

And then afterwards, I was drunk and I was like, oh my God, I would totally go out. But I don't know. I just think that was like a great...

epiphany that I had there that happy hours and maybe little one nights with the friends are more fun than forcing a night out. Don't worry though, next week I will be traveling. I will be right back at it. We'll be partying, but honestly this is needed for me, my mental health, probably my regular health. Like I'm taking my two weeks off and I'm at home and I am just enjoying it. I'm

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This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts

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I think what I was most looking forward to being home and which was the highlight so far was watching the reunion of Love is Blind. So I know I'm really late to the game. I know this already happened like

two months ago or something and everyone was raving about Love is Blind, but I never really have the time to like sit down and like watch a TV show and I haven't watched one in so long. So I have been watching every episode of Love is Blind from the latest season with Braxton and it's so good. Like something about that show, like the way that they just like edit it and like leave stuff in that they're probably like not supposed to or like...

people shitting on one another. Like, it is just so funny and so good and I've been loving it and the reunion was amazing. Like, I love the way they really just...

ripped into everyone the beginning was insane I feel like they let off some of those people kind of easy though they didn't really rip into them like they did Jeremy he went through it and I think I also might start sex in the city everyone's telling me to watch that I don't know like where I was growing up but like I missed so many crucial things like I've never seen so many movies that people are like how have you not seen that

So I'm gonna be watching Sex and the City and I know that's a TV show, not a movie, but it's on Netflix now. So now my friends are like, Alex, you have no excuse. Like you have to watch this. And it made me think, I was like, I don't know the last time I actually watched a TV show before.

Like I think in college, maybe if my friends were watching something, we would like binge it all together or like euphoria or something. But I think the last show that I actually sat down and watched was White Lotus. And this was about a year ago when I was hanging out with Braxton. It was one of those things where, you know, when you're first hanging out with someone and you need something to do. So we started like watching this show. And that was like our bonding thing that we did every time we hung out. And yeah.

You know what else we actually did when we were hanging out, which I feel like is a really good testament to how we got really close really fast. We would play this game and I don't know if I made it up or he made it up. It's not necessarily a game. It's kind of just a conversation. But every night we would play this game.

And I would say, okay, tell me something that I don't know about you or vice versa, something you don't know about me. And we would pick categories. So I'm like, okay, tell me something I don't know about you with your family. Tell me something I don't know about you with your childhood. Tell me something I don't know about you with your career.

career or with your ex or like anything like that. And we would play this game for hours on end. And I feel like it got us so close so fast, which honestly was really good idea of me. I don't know if it was my idea, but I'm going to take credit for it.

I loved playing that game and we'll still play it at times, but I feel like now we know each other so well. So it's not as fun as in the beginning, but that's like such an annoying part of when you first hang out with someone. And I feel like my friends are experiencing this now because a lot of them have been like going on dates and

You have to take so long to get someone to know you know your story and I feel like that's a lot of the comfortability that you find in a relationship like when you're breaking up with someone and you have to go hang out with someone new and then you're like oh god damn it like I have to like reteach them everything about me who I am my life my story like it's easier when this person already just like

knows everything about you and I feel like that can be tricky for some people who are trying to like break up with their significant other and don't really want to. I feel like that's always been a factor for me. I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to reteach another person like every single thing about my life. So that was just a side little note there, but that did get us really close really fast. As I've been just chilling at home, I have been thinking about how excited I am to go to the grocery store.

Like I don't think you guys understand I haven't gotten groceries since January because when I'm traveling obviously I'm not getting groceries in the hotels that I'm at and then when I'm back home for three days it doesn't make sense for me to go buy all these groceries because then they go bad like why do I feel like everything goes bad so quickly I'm like avocados bananas my lettuce everything's gone after like two days and

But I am just like fantasizing over going to the grocery store. Like I have a whole list. Actually, that's a lie. I don't in my head. I have a list of all the meals I want to make this week and I haven't been able to cook in so long. I was so excited. So pumped to go to the grocery store. I'm like, this is going to be the best night ever. And I'm walking through the grocery store aisles. And you know, when you see something, maybe smell something, maybe you hear something and it gives you like

like deja vu but not like deja vu in a good way deja vu is in like a terrible horrifying flashback that you want to like literally cripple up and die I was walking through the grocery store aisles and I look and for some I think it was the colors at first that triggered me like my fight or flight like my stomach started churning and I was like oh and I look and

And I'm seeing a strawberry lemonade specka. And I know that I'm not the only one. I feel like when you first start drinking, maybe some of you guys still drink this stuff.

Personally, it was just not for me. I loved strawberry lemonade speca. That was like the first thing that I ever really drank I thought it was so good. I was like, wow, this is amazing Like it hides all the flavor like this is so good, but the strawberry lemonade in particular Brings me back to this night where I got Such a bad black eye. My right eye was swollen and bruised and I

never felt worse. It was one of my first times like really drinking and going out and I need to tell you guys this story. So for me, this was in, I don't know what year of high school I was in, but I think maybe sophomore year of high school. I had never really drank before and listen, don't come for me, okay? Everyone's gonna be like, you're underage, you're not supposed to drink. I feel like

some people try alcohol in high school. Don't do it. Don't listen to me. I'm just saying this is what Alex did. So I went to my best friend's house to have a sleepover and she had an older brother, which I feel like if you have a best friend in high school that has an older brother that also goes to the same high school, like his friends are around and you are just like enthralled by them. You're like, oh my God,

Older boys. Like, this is so much fun. Like, she would always have the best nights at her house because her older brother was also there and also having, like, parties and it was so much fun. So, anyways, I didn't really know the older kids that much yet because we were still young and I feel like he was still like, you're my younger sister. Like, you guys can't really hang out with us. But...

this one particular night we were having a sleepover and her older brother was throwing a party and this was a big party. This was like a party that you heard about in the hallways at high school and I was like, oh my gosh, like I really want to go to that party. Like that just sounds so much fun and we're like these little losers over here. Like I don't even know like if I hit puberty yet at this point. I'm like, I don't know. I

I really want to go to this party though and so did she so the way that her house was set up she had this sort of back house where there's the main house and then there was a back type of like garage but it also had like a kitchen living room area where they would have these parties and we were making it our mission this night we were like how do we get into the back house like

how do we get ourselves invited to this party? Because every time she asked her brother, like, can we come? He's like, no, you're my little sister. Like, this isn't happening. And I was like, okay, well, you know, how can we get ourselves back there? Like, we were brainstorming for hours. And I was like, what if we give them something? Like, what if we have something to offer? Like, obviously our presence isn't enough. So what if we have some type of, like, peace offering that we can give the older brother to invite us to this party? And

And we came up with the simple solution of cookies. I mean, so pure and so cute of us and so kind of us and so thoughtful because who doesn't love cookies? I don't know really why we thought that was the best idea. Like, I don't know. Maybe we should have gotten them some like soda for chasers and brought it back there. But we thought cookies was the best way in. Cookies are the ways to everyone's heart.

So we made trays of these cookies like we were baking up and down all night I don't even know how many we made but I was like the more the better like let's get all the ingredients Let's make these cookies and while the cookies were in the oven We got ready and I think you would have thought that we were getting ready for the Met Gala like I remember so specifically Curling my hair and I actually had a lot of hair at this point like I

Like I had just started dyeing my hair blonde, so I didn't fry it all off yet. And I actually had a good amount of hair on my head. So this was like back in the days where I had hair to my butt and it was thick. Now, the only reason I have this ponytail is because it's all fake and extensions.

but I had this curling iron that was one of those wands and you know it would come with like the little glove and not the one that it's like a clamp the wand you like wind your hair around with your finger and do it a million times I made these like coily little curls all over my head and I thought it looked so good it probably took me like two hours to do my whole head total

I thought I looked amazing. I was like, wow, I just wanted my whole head like this looks so amazing I didn't brush it out So I just have these big wandy curls on my head Like thinking of like a little five-year-old that's in like a pageant. That's what I looked like and then I slipped on my Abercrombie like skinny jeans. I'm pretty sure this was like combat boot era clothes

Or was this Timberlands? Does anyone remember when people would wear Timberlands out like the big like work boot, like the khaki colored, big, clunky, chunky dinosaur foot looking work boot? That's what I like would wear out. Like I was like, this is so cool. And I remember, too, there was like an all black pair of them that I was like, I want to save up and get the all black pair of Timberlands.

But anyways, I don't know if it was the combat boots or the Timberlands something big and clunky was going on my feet with my skin tight jeans or leggings and then I had this like Navy off-the-shoulder Roughly kind of like crop top that I think was also from Abercrombie and this was like my going out shirt I was like I'm putting this on and I'm gonna look hot So after we spend about two three hours getting ready preparing for this probably smeared orange makeup all over my face and

we went downstairs, we plated the cookies, and we were like, this is our time to shine. We're going into the back house and we're going to serve these cookies to the older boys and get ourselves invited. And you know what, guys? I'm not gonna lie, it worked. It worked so well because we not only got invited to stay at the party, but they were offering us drinks. And this is where the night takes a turn because...

I didn't really have that much experience with alcohol or drinking or how to handle myself, but I remember hanging out with the older girls and, you know, they were like, oh, we have the strawberry lemonade Svetka that we brought and you should try it. Like, it's so good. And I remember taking a sip of this and I was like, oh, okay.

I was like, this is amazing. Like, I think the only alcohol I had tasted before this was, like, the alcohol I stole from my parents in their liquor cabinet that was, like, probably, like, Grey Goose, like, tasted like rubbing alcohol. And the fact that I tasted, like, strawberries and lemonade, I was like, wow, like...

I mean, the older kids in high school really know how to do it. Like they know how to party. They know how to live. Like this is so good. So I'm just filling up my solo cups with this strawberry lemonade specka. Don't do this at home. And I'm drinking. And before you know it, Alex is drunk. Alex is very drunk. And I just kind of remember like, whoa, I was like, oh my God, like things are kind of spinning a little bit. Like maybe I need to take a step back, have a water. And I sat down on this couch and

And I'm like, wow, like, okay, like recuperate. I'm looking over at like all the like older people in my high school that I see and everyone's like kind of spinning a little bit. And then one, two, three, bam, knocked out. Blackout, done, lights off. I'm knocked to the floor. My friend...

And her brother were like arguing, but not in like a bad type of way, in like a sibling fight type of way. And he took her and picked her up and threw her onto the couch. And now my friend's elbow had essentially knocked me out.

and her elbow was not a regular elbow. It was a full-blown metal elbow because my friend did something one time where she got her elbow injured and she had to get surgery. So like her elbow and bone structure there was just all made out of metal. And this metal elbow comes flying across the room, clocks me in the head. I'm down on the floor. And now I just remember seeing like black, like, you know, and something just

You know when something just I just smacked myself in the head clocks you so fast that like you can't even think like all of a sudden you just see black and I'm waking up and I've never been more embarrassed because all of these older kids are looking around at me on the floor drunk Alex from her strawberry lemonade vodka with a big black eye laying on the floor of this high school party and everyone's looking at me and I was like I was like

oh my God, what happened? And I was like, I'm fine. Like, I was like, guys, I'm fine. And I just remember looking at everyone's faces. Like, like everyone was kind of looking at me like, um, like, is she okay? Should we tell her? And I'm like, guys, like, I'm fine. And I'm like, still like stumbling. I'm like, what? Like, whatever. Like, I look fine. I don't care. I'm just going to like go to the bathroom and probably like bawl my eyes out because I was so embarrassed. And I walk into the bathroom and I look in the mirror and

I have an egg on the side of my face. My eye is black and blue. Like my cheek was like right here, just like so swollen. And I...

And I did not look cute. The hours of wanding my hair and slipping on my Abercrombie crop tops for this party did not work because I now looked like a clown because I had this huge black eye. The party was over for me. I went to bed. I said, we're calling it a night. This is not happening anymore. No more partying for me.

And I just remember thinking like, oh my God, what am I going to tell my parents? Because like my parents are going to come pick me up in the morning. Most importantly, what am I going to tell my dad? Because my dad was the very strict parent to us. And I was like, I can't tell him that I went to this party and got a black eye because

So I'm like think think think like what can I tell my dad and the first thing that came to my mind Was that we were baking cookies and I opened the cabinet and hit myself in the head and I was like, you know What that sounds good. That sounds cute. That's like nothing wrong with this So that's what the storyline that we're gonna tell my dad and dad I know you listen to this podcast if you're listening to this and

don't be mad at me but i was dead set on the story of like i just whacked myself in the head with this cabinet so you know the strawberry lemonade svetka really did wonders for me and just ever since that moment like i can never see it again can never smell it and i feel like this happens to people with alcohol like you just have one distinct memory that's so bad that like you could just never touch it again

And for me, that was my strawberry and lemonade svetka My dad did pick me up in the morning and you know what my dad was also notorious for in high school And honestly still to this day this has happened But he will do the find my iphone sound Do you guys know what i'm talking about? Like my dad can log on to track my phone and like hit ping and it does this sound that's so annoying. It's like I don't know how to do I need to like find it

I'm going to play it for you guys because it's actually, oh my God, my dad's calling me right now. Hello? I'm podcasting. I was actually just talking about you. I was saying how you always would play that find my iPhone sound, like you would ping my phone and do it. Do you want to ping my phone so I could show them what it sounds like?

Okay, well, he's on it. I mean, that just worked out. He is on his way to ping my phone. Like, it's the most triggering sound ever, and I have a story that goes with this that you guys are gonna not be okay.

That triggering sound. My dad was notorious in high school for any, if I didn't answer him for one second, I would be in class and that would go off and I'm like, you can't do this right now. So he's very impatient. I think that's where I get my impatience from. He would always ping my phone for this sound. And there is one specific time that my dad pinged my phone in high school that is so horrifying and embarrassing.

because I was in the middle of hooking up with a guy. So...

Basically, this was now high school graduation. I was done. We're partying and my best friend had her graduation party and there was this guy there at the time that I was talking to. He was like a little older. I actually ended up dating him like two years later, but he was basically like, oh, do you want to like come back to my house? Like let's leave this party and I was like, okay, like let's go. So I went with him to his house and it was probably like two

20 minutes away from where this party was. So, off the bat, like, I should have known that my dad was going to track me. I was just hoping that, like, maybe it was late in the night and my dad wasn't going to track me and wasn't going to, like, go show up anywhere. I was wrong. So, I'm back at this guy's house. We're hanging out and we're in the middle of hooking up. I can't even say it. Like, uh, dad, just turn off the podcast. Like, we're in the middle of hooking up, we're

whatever's going on. And I don't know, like this is a guy that I didn't feel that comfortable with because he was older, like not in sense of comfortable, but I was just like scared of him. Like I was like, oh my gosh, like he's so cool. Like in my eyes, he was the coolest thing to have ever walked the earth. In the middle of hanging out with him, I look over and I see my dad calling my phone and it's like 10 missed calls from dad. And you're like, oh shit.

like you know when that happens i was like oh i'm in trouble so i literally just like swipe it i'm like it's not happening i see texts from my dad calls from my dad but i'm like i'm fine like i don't need to answer right now so i just kind of like threw my phone to the side all of a sudden i hear and my dad is doing the find my iphone sound and the only way you can turn that off is if you like log into your phone so i'm in the middle of hooking up with this guy and i'm like

um, oh, so sorry. And he's like, what does that sound like? What is this alarm that you have in the middle of the night? And I was like, oh my God, I don't know. Like, let me just like go see what that is. And I opened my phone and I go to the last text that my dad sent and

My dad's like, get outside right now. You're grounded. Let's go. And like when I see those words from my dad, like that is not something to like joke around with lightly. Like he means business. Like he will storm through that door if I don't get outside in like point two minutes and he will come in blazing. So I was like, I got to go. So literally just like

rushing i'm like throwing on my clothes and this guy's like looking at me like what is this alarm that she just got and she's just like sprinting out of my house right now and i was like i have to go i'm so sorry and he was like um okay like do you want me to walk you out and i was like no stay here because i did not want this guy to walk me outside while my dad is sitting in the driveway and i'm like no no no like please and he's like i'll just walk you out really quick and i'm literally like barricading this man's door i'm like please don't come outside i was like i

promise like I really just have to go please don't ask anything like don't come outside and he was like I'm gonna walk you out to the door and I was like do not move and then this guy was probably like is she okay but he was like whatever go girl do your thing so I sprint outside I'm like fixing my hair and brushing through it with my fingers I'm like nothing's been happening and I open the car door and I get in the car with my dad and I look over and like

he was just giving me that look. He was like, you fucked up. You are in trouble. And I'm sitting there like, oh my God, dad, like I forgot to tell you, like we came to this girl's house after and like we were all just like having a post party here and we were playing Monopoly. That's what I said to my dad. I was like, we're playing Monopoly. Like why? Why would I think that that's a believable story at all? I don't.

think he believed me, even though he was just probably like, okay. And we sat in dead silence in the front seat with my dad driving me home. And I just like knew I was in trouble. I was like, I'm not leaving the house for like three weeks right now. And that's just like the scariest feeling ever. Like when your parents mad at you and like,

I don't know, like maybe this has just happened to me a lot, but like my dad did not come to play. Like he was always like, if you are doing something like I will be there. I don't care what it takes. I will take a plane, train, car, bus. I will get there and I will rip you out. And he would do that. And when I first went to college, my dad was like, don't think that like you're going to college and this is just going to be like you're going out and doing whatever you want.

Like, when he was dropping me off at college, moving me into my dorm, he was like, if you stay out at the clubs too late, I will send police to come get you at the clubs and take you out and take you home. I have your location. You better not turn it off. If you turn it off, like, I'm going to send a police squad to come get you. And I believed him. And granted, when I actually, like, went to college, he never did that. And I don't think was up late enough to check my location because...

We actually went out so late in college that he probably thought I was in bed because we wouldn't go out until like three or four in the morning. And that's when we were at the club. So he probably thought I was fine. He's like, oh, it's 2 a.m. She's still in her dorm. Like, she's fine. No, I was just getting ready to go out. But I was so petrified of my dad. I was like that.

I believe him. Like if I don't answer my dad's phone while I'm out, like he will send the police to come get me. He will do whatever it takes. I don't know why I just got a flashback to, you know, in the notebook when she's out too late with Noah and she comes back home and there's like a whole police squad at her house and her parents are standing there. And that's what I feel like would happen to me if I was out too late and like didn't answer my phone or didn't have my location on.

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts

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All day every day and he actually helps me out a lot with work and

We're very close and I actually like to go out with him. But I feel like it wasn't really until my junior year of college where that kind of shift started to happen. And I feel like with my parents being strict with me, that was kind of a result of me being the oldest child. Like, I feel like the youngest sibling gets it so much easier because you've already been through everything. Like, my parents had never seen their kid go to a college, go to a party. Like, all of this was a first for them. So...

And, you know, I always say, like, I probably wasn't the easiest. Like, I was definitely pushing their buttons a little bit. I, you know, wasn't the girl who's like, I want to stay at home and read a book tonight and don't want to do anything. Like, I had, for some reason, always just enjoyed going out and creating problems. So, parents, if you're listening still, sorry and I love you. But I will say when my little sister went to college, that's when I feel like a shift started to happen because now...

I don't know, they would come to visit me in college and like I turned 21 and we would have drinks together. And I feel like it just started to become more of like a friendship dynamic rather than like

scolding me all the time which was nice and I remember my junior year of college I would call my dad like a lot I'm pretty sure like three times a day almost every time I was in the car driving to or from class I would call my dad because this was the time where everyone's starting to think about like okay what are you gonna do after college and like what job are you gonna get and what are you gonna do and like what the hell are taxes and I was trying to figure all of this out and I would call my dad every day and basically ask him for business advice and

In doing that, like, we weirdly got, like, very, very close. And not that that's weird, but I really would just, like, confide in him in everything. And I feel like that's kind of how our relationship dynamics started to change from, like, him yelling at me and tracking me to me asking him for advice and us just, like,

catching up with each other and obviously now like I'm so so close with my parents and they know everything that I do and they listen to my podcast so there's not really much I can hide from them um

But like they were even in Miami this past weekend my dad my stepmom came all the little siblings came and We will go out with them like me Braxton My dad and my stepmom will go out and it feels like we're going out with friends and getting drinks with friends And I feel like that's such a fun dynamic to start to have with your parents because I feel like before College, I don't know. It's kind of like more parenty vibes and I feel like I've finally gotten to that place where it's like Adults and we get to hang out and we get to have fun together and

I don't know. I really love it. Okay, well, I just went on a full-blown rant there. Like, my life update just turned into a full high school storytelling, recapping on my relationship with my parents. But honestly, like, I am back to this. Just so happy to be home and, like, in my apartment building and

I was thinking about this the other day. It's such a 180 from the apartment building that I used to live in in college. I've lived in Miami for five years now, but this is my first year living in Miami not being in college, and I feel like it's a whole different world. Like, I feel like I picture Miami in my head so differently now than I pictured it when I was in college because college was just so hectic and chaotic and, like, fun all the time, and now it's actually like, oh,

oh, like I'm walking outside, I'm going on a walk, you see some manatees and I'm in a little bit more of a older area now.

Older, I don't think older is the right word for that I mean more of like a sophisticated area like before I lived in a building with all college students like everyone in that building had gone to the university of miami Which led to a lot of you know Funny stuff going on like there was you could really walk into anyone's room at any time and do anything because every door was open because It was all college students, which definitely is not safe. Like we should definitely have been locking the doors Oh

Wait, that just brought me back to the time when someone had walked into my apartment and

and vandalized it. I had woke up one morning and one of my drawers, specifically my crop top drawer, was covered, not covered, drenched in pee. All of my crop tops were drenched in pee. So I'm going to tell you how this happened and it has to do with me leaving my door to my apartment unlocked. So the story starts with a girl who, she was a year older than me and she just like did not like me at all. And this is a girl in college that I would probably

go out with or not go out with I guess I would see her out at parties so that's how I like knew her obviously I like followed her on Instagram and if I saw her I would say hi but I didn't actually like know her at all like I wouldn't consider her like a friend of mine and basically she was dating this guy her and said guy had broken up after her and her boyfriend had broken up probably like a few nights later I ended up at this dinner in Miami at this very fancy restaurant and I think

there was 15 to 20 people at this dinner so it was a really big group and I had got invited by one of my friends so we went and this girl's ex-boyfriend I guess we'll call him Trevor I

Trevor was at this table making a drunk fool of himself like being so out of pocket was just so blacked out like being a mess and we're at this fancy restaurant so everyone's like hey Trevor pull together right now Trevor decides to take his shirt off in the middle of this restaurant and stand up and he's kind of like dancing around and a waiter came over and was like hello sir like

put your shirt on like or you're gonna get kicked out right now and he starts rubbing his nipples and looking at the waiter like whatever whatever and I'm standing here like dying laughing because I'm like this is the funniest thing I've ever seen right now like this guy is about to get kicked out of the restaurant so naturally I was taking a video and I put it on my snapchat story and

And I was just like, this is hilarious. It's funny. I'm pretty sure he did end up getting kicked out. But anyways, didn't really think much of it. And the next morning I had went to go to this boat party in Miami and Trevor's ex-girlfriend was there. The girl that I had known, kind of acquaintance, whatever. She was there. She came up to me and just ripped me a new one, like absolutely screamed in my face. She was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you post that? Like, you're so stupid.

I remember her saying like, do you know what everyone thinks of you? Everyone thinks you're an idiot for doing that. Like you look so embarrassing. It looks so try hard for posting that. And I was literally just standing there and like, I have a problem when people yell at me like that. Sometimes I literally was like, okay. I was like,

I'm sorry. Like I literally was just like so calm like and wasn't reacting back to this So that's where she started to like really not like me so that this is like the background context She was fresh out of a breakup. She probably didn't want to see that Maybe she took it out of context, but like I wanted nothing to do with her sloppy drunk ex-boyfriend trevor I feel like she just got very heated by that and I was like, you know what? She can take it out on me, whatever but since that moment

this girl and her whole entire friend group did not like me. Like, they were, like, outwardly mean to me and my friends. Like, I would go to parties and they would glare at me. They would not say hi to me. They were, like, pretty rude. And this was right when they were about to graduate. So, I was a junior in college. They were seniors in college because they were a year older than me and I had been neighbors with them. And this was right when I had moved in with a random girl. So, I

My friends had gone abroad and like the week before I chickened out I was like i'm not going abroad So I needed to find a place to live like very last minute and this girl that I knew from like classes Seemed normal seemed cool. She was like hey

I have an empty room in my apartment. Like do you want to move in with me? And I was like that sounds perfect Like let's do that So I moved in with this girl that I didn't really know And her apartment happens to be neighbors with the girl who just like really really hates me So it's fine You know Sometimes we did have some like run-ins walking out of the apartment where she would just like glare at me down the hallway And it was like really awkward but never really thought much of it. I was like, it's fine until this one night

I get ready to go to a concert and I had a boyfriend at the time and my roommate also had a boyfriend. So I was like, you know what? We should all go to this concert together. It will be fun, a little bonding experience. So the four of us pregame, we leave the apartment and we go to this concert and we're

the four of us had been actively posting at this concert that like we were all there like oh hey like it's the four of us like group hanging out so i feel like it was pretty apparent that we were both not at the apartment we come back from the concert go to bed wake up good morning la la la i'm getting ready for class and i go into my closet and i open this drawer and this drawer that i opened is where i keep my crop tops for going out and also like my tank top so i think i was just looking for like a tank top to wear to class

And I pick it up and I was like, oh, like that one's kind of wet. And I just kind of like threw it on the floor. I didn't really think anything of that for some reason. And then I go to pick up another one and I'm like, wait, this one's kind of wet. And then I'm like picking up a third, fourth, fifth shirt. I'm like, why are all my shirts soaking wet right now? And my first thought is like, oh, there's like a leak in the ceiling or something. So I'm looking up, I'm sifting through these clothes. I'm like, is anything leaking? Whatever. So I go then to smell these clothes and

I don't think you guys understand the rancid smell of piss in

Is all over all of my crop tops and I was like wait what like there's no way So I pull in my roommate i'm like, can you smell this all of my shirts are soaked There was probably like 30 40 shirts in this drawer and i'm like, please smell this like what do you smell? And she was like that's pee and I was like, okay, so who the hell peed in my drawer So my first thought obviously was my boyfriend Sorry, but he was like a frat boy at the time um

you know, a drunk doodaloo. I was like, he probably got up in the middle of the night, opened my drawer and like peed in it. So I start calling my boyfriend. I'm like, do you think that you accidentally got a little too drunk at this concert and walked into my closet and then opened my drawer and like peed in there and mistaken that for a toilet? And he was like dead set on like

I promise you that didn't happen. Like I wasn't even that drunk after the concert. Like, I don't know. I was like, maybe you were sleepwalking. Like maybe you don't know, but I just wanted it to make sense. And it was too high to the point where like, I couldn't pull down my pants and like squat in this. Like I would have to be standing up on some type of like ladder. Like it was a little too high for that, but I feel like a guy could maybe walk over and like

his little thang in there and take a little pee. And he was dead set on, he's like, Alex, like I wasn't even drunk. Like, what are you talking about? That did not happen. I was like, okay. So then what else could have happened? My

My next thought was my roommate who had a little dog at the time. I was like, could the little dog have climbed up onto this dresser, opened it with her little paws and taken a squat in there and really just gone down. Then I was like, wait a damn minute. Like this is like a little dog. She had a little tiny fluffy dog, like the size of my hand.

this pee or the amount of pee in this drawer covered all 30 of my tops. Like everything was soaked. So it was like a little dog like couldn't have produced that much pee. Like that much pee would drown a dog. So I'm really like, I don't know what's happening right now. And I'm asking my roommate, I'm like, are you sure? Like you don't think anything else could have happened? Like what is going on right now? The next step we did was we called maintenance in the building. And I don't know why we thought maybe like

maintenance would know of this like pee issue or some type of leak that smelled like pee. And we had the maintenance guy, the poor maintenance guy from our building came in and we're having him sniff my shirts. And this is after we had already washed them like twice through. We put in those little pods that try to make it smell good. They still reeked of piss.

And he's leaning over smelling these shirts and he's like, yep, that's for sure pee. And we're like, okay, so do you know like what we could do about this? Like, do you know anything with this? And he's like, no, I'm sorry. I don't really know how to help you here. And he's like, maybe it's a ghost.

And my roommate at the time starts questioning this maintenance guy like well What do you mean like a ghost like how could a ghost like get in here? Like what could we do about a ghost like if there's a ghost problem, what can we do? There's no way that we're harassing this poor maintenance man right now about a ghost pissing in my closet So anyways, it was what it was. I

I, being me, just was like, okay, well, it definitely was my boyfriend. Like, he definitely peed in there. That's just something that definitely would have happened. It made the most sense. I couldn't think of anything else at the time. So I had to throw out

All of my crop tops, all of my cute Princess Polly little crop top slutty tops that I got for going out in college were all ruined, wasted. I could not salvage a single one of them. They all had to go in the trash. So after that, you know, a year or so goes by and I kind of forgot about P-Drawer. I forgot about P-Drawer, forgot she happened, wasn't really thinking much of it until...

One of my friends was somewhere where she overheard these people talking and these people were friends with said girl who didn't like me. And they're saying, oh my gosh, yeah, like, you know, you remember when said girl peed in Alex's drawer? And my friend heard this and she was like, my head literally snapped. And she asked her and she was like, wait, what? And she was like, yeah, like when said girl peed in Alex's drawer last year.

And my friends are texting in our group chat. We're like, there's no way because we had actually joked about it. We could have been like, imagine she walked in and like peed in my drawer because she hates me so much.

But we just got confirmation that this girl who didn't like me must have snuck into our apartment while we weren't there and peed in my drawer or like had a bucket of pee and dumped it in my drawer. I don't know how the execution happened, but we had basically gotten this confirmation that this girl who did not like me pissed in my crop top drawer. And this goes down as maybe one of the craziest stories I have from college because I don't know...

Who in their right mind would do that to someone? I don't know how that happened. I don't know the logistics of how the pee was transferred into my drawer. But all I learned from this was lock your doors. Just lock the apartment doors when you leave. And thankfully, the apartment I live in now, the doors just lock automatically right behind you. You don't even have to think about it.

But yeah, I mean, it's definitely a 180 living in this apartment building as opposed to where I lived in college. It's very clean. It's nice. No one's peeing in my drawers. It's just me puking on my dresses. Like it's very, it's very chillaxed over here. So speaking of chillaxing and being home, we are going to go walk this dog right now. I'm babysitting my friend's dog for the day. Maybe I should bring him in here. He's so cute. Yay, baby!

Do you want to do what would Alex do with me? Oh my gosh, you have my clean laundry sock. Do you have anything to say for yourself? What are you doing? Oh my gosh. I want a dog so much, so I'm just out here trying to be a free baby dog sitter. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Okay, so I'm going to answer some what would Alex do questions with the help of Rocco here. Rocco, I'm going to read you these questions and you have to let me know what you think. Hey, I can't eat the microphone. No. No.

We can't eat the microphone. I'm gonna go take Rocco for a walk really quick and then I'm gonna come back and do what would Alex do questions because if I don't take him right now, he's like scratching at the door. So he's getting a little antsy. I've been podcasting for too long right now. So I'm gonna take him and we'll be back for what would Alex do?

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Follow Joyba on Instagram and TikTok at joyba.fun for fun giveaways and to find a retailer near you. What would Alex do? What would Alex do? We're sitting on my bed for this segment because I have to do my laundry. This is clean laundry that I just need to fold and put away. I like love doing my laundry and putting things in the washer, but once it's

clean. I'm like, I don't really want to put it away. So it's been sitting here and daunting me, but let's get into your guys' questions, stories, and I'm going to give you my advice on what Alex would do. Hey girl, I'm in a dilemma. My wonderful boyfriend of four years went out for St. Paddy's Day with his shitty friends.

Two days later, I got an Instagram hey girly DM, oh no, from a girl saying that my boyfriend made out with her best friend. And there was a video, of course. We talked about it and he said he was so drunk that he didn't even remember it. But since then, he has apologized so much. He's honestly such a gem of a human. But when he's blackout drunk, I just don't trust him. Everyone keeps telling me to trust my gut, but for some reason, my gut is fine. Am I crazy for wanting to stay with him? I...

Love you so much, girl. But at the same time, I think you're a little crazy for wanting to stay with him. Like, you first started this off with my wonderful boyfriend. Your wonderful boyfriend wouldn't go out and make out with another girl at the bar. Blackout drunk or sober, that's not something you want out of a boyfriend. I would personally break up with them, but it seems like you're fine with this, and...

My question is how? Like, how are you okay with that? Because I would be so angry and mad. You don't want to be the girl dating the guy that you have to get the hey girly DMs for. Like, you're better than that. I don't know. And I also think if you're going to forgive him, say this is like a one-time thing.

he was really blacked out I still don't necessarily believe in that but if in your gut you really want to like get past this and this is the love of your life and you want to be with him I

I still think that you need to like punish him for this. Like you can't just be like, oh, okay. And then move on because he's going to think in some weird part of these men's brain, they then think that that's okay that they can do that. Because if you're not punishing them, like they're like, oh, well, it's not as bad as I thought. Like you need to put this man through the ringer and you need to make him feel like the biggest piece of shit on earth. And then if you really, really, really, really want to forgive him,

then you can but I think you need to like space out some time and be like fuck you that's what I would do hi Alex I recently got blackout drunk on a night out with a group of girlfriends I'm really embarrassed about it because I don't normally get like that and I had raging anxiety the next day I felt like some of the girls were annoyed or mad at me how do you deal with anxiety and what are your thoughts on a friend getting too drunk and being an inconvenience

Okay. So my initial thought with this is anxiety is normal. We all get it, especially after a dark, deep, dark...

bad night out. That is very normal, but you shouldn't feel like embarrassed. If these are your real friends, like they should be like, you were hilarious last night. Like you were rolling around on the floor. We had to take you home. Like maybe it was a little annoying in the moment, but it's like a funny thing with your friends. And I don't know, your friends will love you whether you black out or you don't. Maybe you're not that close with these girls. So maybe that's where they're coming in feeling like you're a little anxious. But

But honestly, I feel like just don't be that girl all the time. You know, it happens once in a while, but there are definitely those girls where it's like every night they drink, all of a sudden they're like falling over on the floor and like spilling everything and just like...

being a complete mess and disaster and then never remembering it. I think it's okay to happen and you should not be embarrassed about that because it happens to literally everyone going out. But if this is something that's happening to you every single night and it's like you're the girl that can just like never handle the alcohol and you're always rolling around on the floor, then maybe we need to like take a look inwards and be like, maybe we start with

Just one drink and take it slow. Hi, Alex. I recently got with one of my friends on a night out, but he has a girlfriend who is the sweetest girl ever. We agreed not to tell anyone, but the guilt is just terrible. I don't see his girlfriend very often, but I'm good friends with the guy. I really like him and have for some time now. What would Alex do? Oh. Oh. Oh. I'm trying to, like, dissect this. There's so many different parts to this. Okay. Okay.

You got with your guy friend who has a girlfriend and you guys are just like, we're not going to tell anyone. First of all, I think someone needs to tell the girlfriend because that just like that guilt is not going to go away. And like, that's just wrong. And you're saying that you really like this guy. But listen.

If this guy is going to turn around and cheat on his girlfriend with you, although like I'm sure you are amazing and so special and a beautiful, amazing kind person, he will turn around and cheat on you because that is just like if that guy's doing that, he's going to turn around and do it to you. So you can't be like,

blind to that fact you can't think that he's cheating on his girlfriend with you because like you are just so extraordinarily special and he's in love with you because he will then turn around and cheat on you and you will be the girlfriend in that situation so honestly I think just giving advice I think that he should tell her I think you should just be friends with this guy probably not date him

But that's just my advice there. That is a tricky one. Okay, well, that is all for this week's episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. Thanks for listening, tuning in, watching.

From wherever you are, don't forget to like, subscribe, follow to this podcast. It means the world to me. And I will see you guys next week. We will be at the Kentucky Derby next week. So we are going from a week at home, calm, chill, and relaxed to going out partying. We're going to be on a bender for like four days. So it's going to be a lot of fun. I will see you guys next week. Love you so much. Bye. Bye.

Listen up, you naughty little pelicans. It's Harry Jowsey here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s?

It's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boy For Material with Harry Jowsey comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations and giving you honest advice on them all.

Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy every Tuesday here on Spotify. You know, you might potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy on Spotify.