The Reality of Earle Family Vacations
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- What's up, Hot Mess? - Hi for Hot Mess! - Hey, Hot Mess. - Hi for Hot Mess! - Welcome to the family vacay. - Alex, it's named after you.

We are in the British Virgin Islands on a family trip. I'm here with my little sister, Isabel, right now. And if you guys are watching this, if you're listening, no need to worry. But if you're watching, we're basically just spinning in circles. So the sun may come in here and blind us. But then it will go out and it will leave in like a minute or so. So, so sorry. Isabel's filming this on her phone. Documenting it.

Welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. This episode is presented by Sephora. Nourish yourself with hair care that really works whatever your hair type from brands like Amika, Kerastase, Moroccan Oil, and K18. Click or tap the banner or visit sephora.com to shop now.

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never going to happen.

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.

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This episode is brought to you by Liquid IV. It is hot out this summer. It is actually absurdly hot out and you don't have to be an athlete like Braxton to get the sweat going working outside training. I'm sweating walking to the car, walking down the road. People are taking zoom meetings on their porch sweating and you need to replace that sweat with hydration. I personally love Liquid IV. They have three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink plus eight vitamins and nutrients for everyday wellness. Liquid IV hydrates two times faster than water alone. If

any of you were listening to one of the episodes where I said I had a panic attack this summer, it's because my body was so dehydrated. It was run down, didn't feel good. The boat captain actually had to bring me out a liquid IV to put in my water because I was feeling so nauseous. That just truly shows my love for liquid IV and how much they do. They're so amazing. They have a bunch of flavors to choose from and, you know, take it to the beach with you. Make sure you're staying hydrated this summer. So grab your liquid IV.

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Don't forget to follow, like, subscribe to this podcast. I always forget to say that in the beginning of these episodes and it's super important and super helpful so I would love if you guys could do that. If you guys don't know, which you probably do know by now, especially if you've watched the other episodes, Meet the Earls with my family, but I'm not going to be doing that.

I have me. I'm 23. Ashton's 21 years old. Or she's almost 21. Isabel's 11, even though she likes to say she's 12. I don't. You do. I see it. And then Penelope's 9. Thomas is 6. And then we have my stepmom, Ashley, and my dad, Andrew.

and then braxton's also joining us for this trip basically we're on a little trip we're staying on a boat right now and we're basically island hopping so we've been here for a few days today's actually easter while we're recording this wow really happy easter happy easter oh my gosh stop you know i feel like family vacations and family trips are such a funny topic because there's so many different dynamics to it especially when you're bringing a significant

other on a trip like I'm bringing Braxton are you bored of me already? Yes. I'm kidding. Isabel do you like family trips? Yeah they're so fun because I get to see you and Ashton and I'm never going to see you guys the rats.

Oh, where the rats? Because you said to move away. Well, I'm working so that I can get a house one day so when you're older I can throw parties for you. You probably live in most of the world other than Miami. Yeah, I know. That's like the one place you don't go. I know. Everyone's like, you're not even in Miami anymore. Yeah, exactly. What do you move there for? I don't know.

Warm weather when I am home. I don't even know what I really packed for this trip. I just brought a bunch of different bathing suits. I feel like when you're with your family, it's like very chill. I didn't bring any hair tools. That was a point for me this trip. I didn't want to straighten, curl, iron my hair because it's like bleached and falling out of my head. So I figured I would give it a break for a few days. It was insane.

I honestly, I've only oceaned my hair. I haven't really washed it since we've been here. I washed it one time, but it's just like ocean and sunscreen right now. And it's taking a little siesta, but what did you pack for this trip? Or does mom pack your bags still? Sometimes I pack, sometimes mom packs. Yeah. Do you like when you pack for yourself? It's like stressful, but like I like it because I pack things I like. Yeah. How's the fifth grade treating you? It's annoying. I hate fifth grade.

I hate the kids. I feel like that's how I was in middle school. I just remember the girls being really, really mean. Like, are they mean? They're so rude. That's why I have no friends. I had no friends. I almost transferred in middle school. Let's go through each family member and assess their roles on the trip. Let's start with Ashton. I feel like Ashton's quiet on trips. She just kind of minds her own business. She always gets mad when I ask her to take photos of me. What's Penelope's role on the trip?

Trying to think. Thomas just plays... Energetic. Crazy. Crazy, fun. Penelope's definitely more, like, my vibes. You're more, like, Ashton, quiet, chill. Penelope's more, like, me, fun, outgoing. But that's why, like, we're, like, yin and yang. We'll get along like that. Yeah. You know, me and Penelope sometimes, like, I don't know. We may be dangerous duo together. And then Thomas, he's just playing with his animals the whole time. Yeah, he's just playing Minecraft.

Yeah, playing Minecraft. He's, honestly, we have to insert the pictures from Thomas' iPad on the strip. Thomas has been taking pictures of everything. Thomas might have more photos on his camera roll from the strip than me, which is hard to do. I used to be like that, but then I'm like, whatever, I don't care. Like,

Life's too short. What was Braxton's role on this trip? Definitely just going with the flow. He went in, he was like, he took photos. He kind of did a little bit of everything. Yeah. What do you think mom's role is on the trip? Definitely not quiet, but definitely like not energetic. Really? I feel like mom's always the one starting the party. Me too. Like not so like super energetic, but like not, not quiet. What about dad?

The one who's just in the corner eating snacks. No, dad is always, every trip we go on, my dad loses or breaks something. He lost his phone in the water. He lost his phone in the water on this trip. Every other time, he will lose his sunglasses, his phone. It's always sunglasses or phone. He always does that. So dad's always losing something. I feel like mom's always starting the party. I'm always begging everyone to take pictures or videos of something. Do you think Braxton can put up with our family's craziness? Not at all. Do you think he's prepared for how crazy we are?

I mean, he dates you, yeah. Oh. Little kids are always keeping you humbled. Ooh, that's another thing we were talking about. Family trips will always keep you very humble. You're never going to leave a family trip feeling, like, good about yourself or great about yourself. The true family is going to be like, listen, we haven't seen you in a month or two. This is what you need to work on. What do you look like? Why do you look like that? You're disgusting. That's what...

Family's four. They're going to humble you and they're going to keep you in line. And I think it's a good checkup every now and then. Like, I don't think... Oh my god, like, me and Ash and me and her have, like, this inside joke of, like, melody.

Yeah, we call Ashton Bella Hadid. Yeah. Because she's so perf and cool. Only me and her understand. Oh. Only you guys get it. Never mind, I don't get the joke. You don't get it. Oh my god, when she was jumping in the water, remember when I said, Bella Hadid, is that you? I thought I was in on that joke. Am I not? No. Oh. Okay. There's a different meaning. You don't understand.

Okay. You know what being on a boat reminds me of? The last time, not the last time that I was on a boat trip, but there was one time that I had an experience on a boat where I almost died and I was on it with mom and dad. So maybe we should get Ashley in here to recap this story with me. Oh my god! We have our...

boat survivor here, Ashley. I feel like we need to recap the story of us almost dying coming back from the Hamptons because it was... It was so bad. We actually almost died. I don't think I've ever been more afraid in my entire life than that's saying a lot. You went to Palm Tree Music Festival, right? Yeah. Like, you have to kind of go back to there. And we...

where we had the boat at Navy Beach and you were really hungover and we had to get you off the dock. And like Alex, like you had to wake up really early and we had to leave her really early, right? Yeah. And Alex is literally with this huge, massive, heavy suitcase. Oh, I remember because I didn't have, I went to the Hamptons with like no ride back.

I just was like, oh, I'll figure it out. Like, I'll get a ride. And then, like, I couldn't get a ride. But they were... Happened to be there the same weekend and they were taking a boat back. So I was like, okay, I'm just going to leave my friends. And, like, I lugged my suitcase to a dock to go meet them on this boat. You lugged it down a few different docks. Whatever boat we were supposed to take was broken. So we went on dad's friend's boat. We were supposed to be on our boat and we blew an engine, like, right before we went back. And, you know, everybody has, like, those...

that one set of friends who like you don't want to be put in situations with like this and you kind of know better but we had to get on their boat and we had to make the journey back from the Hamptons to New Jersey which is supposed to be like what four hours I think five hours yeah it took us 10 hours 10 hours we started off the day where we went to this place Sunset Beach Sunset Beach

And we were like, let's get frosées. And we had like one frosé, two frosé, four frosé. No, it didn't really happen like that, though, by the way. You guys were all drinking on the boat and having so much fun. And we were supposed to take off by 2 p.m., okay? So I think it was like now 3 or 4, maybe like 3.30. And we still did not get off the boat to go to Sunset Beach, which we didn't have a reservation for. And we didn't eat. So I...

really upset and frustrated. So I decided to take the tender into Sunset Beach and dad came with me and he's like, you need to calm down. There's worse places that we can be stuck. And I said, oh, worse places that we could be stuck. Okay, well, I am going to order like a million frosées for everybody and we are just going to ride this out and I'm going to cheer. Yeah, that's what happened. We were just like,

prolonging the leaving and we were just partying we just we didn't want to go for this long boat ride we were like let's just keep partying like what if we just stay another night in the Hamptons like we're having so much fun we should have stayed another night and then one thing led to another and we're on the boat getting ready to like go back to New Jersey and this part was like a little splotch for me me too and

I think we actually have video footage. Yeah, no, we can overlay some of the video footage of us. Like, I think my eyes were rolling in my head. But look, we're having so much fun. And we were just ready to embark on this journey on the way back home. And we didn't have a captain. Like the captain was our dad's friend. Yes.

Which I always thought he was an amazing captain and I always trusted him. And he did get us home. He did actually get us home. He got us home safe and sound. Somehow. But the journey of how we got home was really bad. It was scarier than I think the Titanic. I thought we were kind of in the Titanic and it was like, we're done.

So... We were supposed to be home, though. We were supposed to leave at 2, so we'd be home before it was dark because I didn't want to be out on a boat when it was dark. Like, I just know better. We were in the pitch black dark for, like, six hours in the ocean with waves crashing over our heads. And everybody, all the big boats, all the captains said, whatever you do, do not take the ocean back. Stay on the inside. Stay on the inside.

Somehow we ended up in the ocean. But actually the video footage that I have, like we knew that we were in the ocean. It was actually like those North Sea videos you see on TikTok that are like, yo, that was us. Our phones died. We couldn't even stand up. We were partying on this boat and then...

The three girls, so me, Ashley, and then the other girl that we were with went downstairs and we were sleeping. I went to sleep with a life jacket on, by the way. This little plastic. It's never going to save you. It's a little plastic one that you... It's not going to work. It's not going to save you. Let's put it that way. I'm sleeping and all of a sudden I'm rolling back and forth and I was like, oh my gosh, it's really rough outside. Let me go see what's happening. They're still sleeping. I go upstairs and...

Mind you, I thought it was still light out. Like, I thought maybe the sun was going to be setting. I didn't know how many, like, hours I slept. I wake up and I'm coming up the staircase. I look up at my dad. It looks like we were in a blizzard, like a sandstorm. I don't even know what was going on. My dad has, like, a life vest on, holding onto the side. And he looks at me. And my dad is, like, he's a very, like, poker face. Like, I feel like he never gets stressed. He never gets scared. And the fact that he was scared and I saw waves falling

Coming over the side of the boat, there was fish flopping on the back of the boat and I look at his friend who was driving

You can't see anything for miles. It's pitch black out there. All I could see was waves. I get up there. I put a life vest on. I'm grabbing onto the seat. And like, I don't even know how to describe the anxiety that I felt in that moment. Like my body was shaking. Like I couldn't like even see all of our phones were dead. And I just like didn't know what to do besides hold on. And every thought was running through my head of like, okay, we're going to go into the water. Like,

Like, this is... Like, the boat's gonna tip. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen. Like, we're probably gonna die. Like, I was shaking beyond belief. Like, I don't even know how to describe it. My husband told our friend, when Ashley wakes up, you are gonna see a side of her that you've never seen before and, like, just prepare yourselves. This is scary. So the window busted in and our friend... Like, the water was literally pouring into the boat from the window on our friend, woke me up. I...

Go upstairs You can't even walk up the stairs You're literally like I'm crawling Pretty much And how was I When I came upstairs Alex She came up the stairs What the fuck Is going on here What is going on Get me off this boat And I was like I'm gonna fucking kill you I was like Why did you get us involved

I was sitting there. That's how bad it was because she just woke up to a window busted in downstairs with water pouring into the boat downstairs. And our friend's still sleeping, by the way. She was sound asleep, had no idea what's going on. So I am grabbing onto the seat. I'm like, okay. So now I feel like I went into like,

I don't know. I was trying to calm you down, even though I was really scared. I wanted to call the Coast Guard or anybody. I was like helicopter with a little cage thing. Come save us. Get us off the boat if they want to continue their journey. That's fine. The girls are getting off. And our friend was literally like, Ashley, there is nobody that will come out here for you or us or none of us. We're alone. Yeah. All of our phones were dead.

Scary. Couldn't even hold them because water was coming on the boat. So then I remember there was like a seat in between us. You were sitting like right behind the captain. Yeah. And we were just holding on like this. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. We were rubbing each other's back. Yeah. And this was for hours. So imagine being in the middle of the ocean, pitch black. All you see is waves rolling like this. And you don't even know where you are. We had no idea. Like, calm down.

Like, concept of time. We had no idea what was going on. So then this next part that happened to me is, like, probably the scariest... Definitely the scariest thing that's ever happened to me in my life is I went... My body just had accepted, like, fate. Yeah. And... Oh, my gosh. It makes me, like, want to cry talking about this because...

I was shaking and so scared for, like, a few hours probably. And then all of a sudden... You shut down. I don't know how to explain this feeling. But my body was so nervous that it went numb. Like, I just, like... I was calm. Like, I had accepted the fact that, like, we probably, like, weren't gonna make it out of this alive. Because...

We had been doing this for hours, like freezing cold. There's water in the boat. Like I had no idea what was going on. So I just like calm down. And it was the weirdest thing ever because I knew I was like, wait, why is my body like it just like calm down? Like I couldn't describe that. There's no emotion. There's no feeling. There's no fear. And I was like 30 minutes behind you. And I literally did the same thing. Yes. I just was like accepting the fact that we may never get off.

that boat and we may end up in the water and like probably drown. And it's so crazy. And you go through like the thoughts though, by the way of like when we were freaking out, you're like, okay, we're going to go in the water. Nobody's going to find you. There's no like EPIRB. There's no location device. Like we have these bootleg life jackets on that shouldn't even be legal. And nobody is finding us. Yeah. I was so calm at that point that I was like, I'm just going to go downstairs and sleep because I can't even like stand to like breathe.

bear this. And then I slept the rest of the way. And you were up or did you sleep? I went to bed like 30 minutes after you and I passed out too. Yeah. It was like the weirdest thing ever. Like I was so...

that, like, I was calm because I just had basically accepted the fact that we were going to die. And I never, ever see dad, like, stressed or worried. And, like, you could tell that he was worried, which wasn't good. I wake up. We finally pull into this dock in New Jersey. Well, I woke you up because we pulled in and I was like, we made it. We're home. We're alive. I was shaking, freezing. But then you're thinking, I'm like, are we dead? Like, are we alive? Are we really alive? No. We wake up. My hair was all knotted. And...

There was fish flopping on the back of the boat. Like...

I don't know how to describe to anyone, but just imagine like being on a boat, pitch black. You can't see anything around you. And you can't turn around. If you turn around, you're going to roll. And yeah, so that was the other problem is we couldn't turn around or we couldn't like go into shore because basically the boat would have like capsized if we went the other way. So we were just rocking back and forth like this. And all you see is waves coming over the back of the boat. And like, I was just ready for one wave to just like take us and

And, yeah, that's what I have. I've always had a fear of the ocean. Boats, like, scare me so much as we've been on this boat for a week. Yeah. But... Oh! Yeah.

Oh, it's Penelope. We literally told our friend, we're like, we love you. Like, thank you for getting us home safe. I am really, really mad at you. And I don't think we talked for probably like a year, honestly, after that. We got home and I remember we went in and we hugged the little kids like right away. Oh my gosh. I never thought we were going to see them again.

Yeah, same. And I remember taking a shower and just shaking and thinking like, are we alive? Am I alive? Do we make it? Or is this like, are we dead? Yeah. You looked at me though and you said, you were like, you have to promise me that you guys are never going to put yourselves in a situation like this ever again. I was like, Alex, I don't think you understand. Like, I am like a zero risk kind of girl. Like, I don't want to... We don't like to like play around with this stuff. There's enough things that could happen and... This is what happens when the girls go to sleep. Like...

The guys make really stupid decisions. Yeah, guys are dumb. And I remember asking dad, I said, did you have a plan? Like, what would you have done? And he said, well, if it got really bad, I was going to knock our friend out and take the boat and just drive it straight into the beach and beach it. And I'm like, okay, so you did think that we were going down too because TJ's like poker face never gets bothered by anything. And the fact that he was...

So scared. Yeah. We're here. We're on a bigger boat. On a boat again. A really good captain. Yeah. We don't go in the ocean, like far out. We have like a lot of rules. So just everyone be safe. Be cautious. Have a proper life jacket. And a u-burn. Penelope's here. It's P in the middle of the sea. Don't know where she'll be. Playing Christmas with Emily. And maybe Johnny. Thomas, come here. You're on the podcast. One at a time. Tell me what's been your favorite part of the family trip.

Seeing Braxton hanging out with our fam. Thomas, what was your highlight of the trip? Hanging out with my family. Aww. Sad that Braxton went away today. You're missing Braxton? Yep. Wait, so what happened when you went to swerve Ashton and you hugged Braxton first at the airport? What was that all about? He was going to hug Ashton, but he copied me and hugged Braxton.

No, because I love Braxton. You were about to go hug Ashton, mister. No, I wasn't. Well, Thomas has actually been pretty good at snorkeling on this trip. He's been in the water 24-7. So do you like when Braxton comes on trips with us? Yes! Is it fun to have another boy? Because you have four sisters. Yes!

Do you like having another guy around? Yeah! Tom, stop talking like a baby. What do you guys think everyone's, like, roles are on the family trip? Like, what does Ashton mostly do on trips? Sleep. That's very true. Look pretty. Yeah, that's a good one. Okay, what about, what's my role on a trip? What is Alex doing? Hanging out with Isabel. Hanging out with Isabel? What's your role? Hanging out with Braxton and being a good girlfriend. Okay. Okay.

Is that all I do? Being an amazing sister. What's dad's role on trips? Taking naps. Being the amazing father ever. What's mom's role on vacation? Being the best and funnest mom ever. Hugging me and everyone because he loves everyone. That's a good one. Thomas, what's it like having four older sisters? Guns.

You have to go? Yeah, I gotta go fishing. You gotta go fishing? Right now? It's like 8 p.m. Where are you going fishing? We have to go fishing tonight because it's later on. Oh, okay. We will be back for more fun and games later. I think maybe we should go check on Ashton. Let's go see what Ashton's doing.

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts

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Although my family is trying to... It looks like Peeps is sponsoring this podcast right now. Welcome to Hot Mess sponsored by Peeps. It's Easter, actually. I feel like with the topic of family vacations, something we should talk about is usually I'm the single one on family vacations and Ashton's always had a boyfriend. And now Ashton's single and I have a boyfriend. And it's like...

I just feel like there's that dynamic when you go on family vacations of being stressed out about, like, the other sibling having a significant other and then, like, you're alone. Yeah, I was thinking about that a lot before this trip. I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to hate my life. But it's not that bad. No, at least we have the little kids. I just feel like when you're the one, because I feel like there's usually the parents that are the couple, and then in our case, it was, like, you with the couple, and I would always be alone, and I would always be like...

I mean, it's fun because we have the kids, but it is kind of upsetting. How has it been? Do you have any words for the other siblings that are going on trips? For the single girlies? The fifth wheels on the trips? Yeah, you know. Just don't be down on yourself, I think. That's what I think, too. It's the most important thing. Like, I think you can make it a big deal in your head, but it's actually not a big deal. If I was all, like, mopey, like, ugh, I'm all alone, like, then obviously you're going to be upset. Granted, though, if this trip was a year ago...

Oh my God. She would have jumped off the boat on the first day. Like a year ago today, I was hanging out with Ashton. This was like right when she went through her breakup. Yeah. She came to visit me for her birthday last year. I was so sad. She was so like depressed on her birthday. It wasn't even funny. I couldn't even pretend to have fun.

Yeah, and now we're gonna actually next episode we're gonna be with Ashton in New York for her 21st birthday. Oh my god, I got too excited. This 21st birthday is gonna be so different than your 20th birthday last year. Yeah, I don't think you guys understand. I was trying to buy her like a table. I was taking all of her friends out. I was like, you look so good. I'm like taking pictures of her trying to hype her up and like there was just nothing to get her out of that like fresh breakup state. I like

I felt so bad because I invited all my friends to come to Miami to go out for my birthday and it was going to be all fun, like trying to do something fun. And I was just, I got there and all my friends were there and I was like, sorry guys, this sucks. And they were like, we're having the best time ever. And I was like, no, you don't understand. Like, I don't want to be here. Like,

But, like, moral of the story is, a year ago... It gets better. It gets better. What did I tell you? She thought she was never going to see the sun again. I was thinking about this, actually, this morning. I was like, if you're going through a breakup, you are the best person to have by your side. Yeah. You are just really good at, like, being the best friend for someone in a breakup. Oh, my God. I'm going to cry. Well...

Because in the moment you were like, F you. Well, yeah, obviously I was like, fuck off. Like, I don't want to listen to you right now. But like, you're, you are right about a lot of stuff. I know.

You know what? This makes me feel better because the girls always write into Hot Mess asking me advice and I'm always like, break up with them. It gets better. Keep moving. And I always feel like I'm a little too harsh, but I do also think that I'm right. You kind of are. So now it's like you're just chilling being the fifth wheel on this vacay. Also, Braxton's really good at being friends with everyone. When I brought Baseball Boy around our family...

I almost... Was he a picky eater? Yes, he was a picky eater. He only ate chicken fingers. And one time we went out to a dinner together and he was so picky about the dinner. I was like, oh, this spot in Miami, we should go. It's so good. He complained the whole dinner about the menu. So I ended up giving the waiter my card. And this was like, this was before I was like,

having money so like I gave him my card and I was like okay this like $300 for the dinner is like the most like I have for the entire week of college right now but I was so mad at him that I just wanted to set a point that I was like F you because I don't want you to pay for this dinner that you just complained about like I just wanted to be like F you anywho

He's the worst. And a picky eater. And when I brought him around our family, because if anyone knows anything about Baseball Boy or has listened to this podcast, he was just like...

the most negative, like, hell on earth man. The worst. And we brought him around our family and he was like, hey guys, how are y'all? I'm having the best time ever, like, playing with the kids. And I was like, did you just transform into, like, Mickey Mouse or something? I was, like, actually so mad at him because I was like... We were all like, Alex, he's so nice. Like, what are you talking about? Yes, and that's the worst when your family's like, he's so nice, he's so perfect. I'm like, obviously he's nice around you guys. And then behind the scenes, he's like...

I remember it was like the last time we did a family away boat trip that I was on. You left with him or something. Yes. And you texted me like crying like five minutes after. And you know what happened was the last night of this family boat trip, it was in Florida. So I was like home base in Miami and he had lived in Miami at the time because he moved for me, which I didn't ask him to do. She's like for me. Yeah.

But it was the last night. And this like is my biggest regret to this day, which is why anyone listening, any girl listening, never choose a boy over your friends or your family because you're always going to regret it. Never do that. Never, never, never. Because it was the last night of this family trip vacation. And...

he was like, come stay at my place. Like, I really want you to come sleep over, like blah, blah, blah. And I was like, it's the last night my family's in Florida and like the kids are here, like the little siblings that I have. And I was like, I don't really want to leave them. And he was like, no, come on, please. And he picks me up and there was like,

shitty cell service because I was leaving the boat when I was trying to tell him where to pick me up. He cursed me out like on the phone and then when I get in the car he's like, fuck you don't ever fucking talk to me like that again and I was like, I couldn't hear on the phone and then we went back to his place and I tried to talk to him and he goes, I'm not talking today. I'm done talking. I've talked too much. I think we should just sit in silence and I was like,

Like, is this an actual joke right now? And then I was bawling my eyes out because I felt so guilty for leaving our family. And I feel like that just goes to show that was a lesson for me that I needed to learn. I remember we were on the boat and you were like, yeah, I'm going to go leave to hang out with Baseball Boy. And...

I was like, okay, whatever, loser. And then five minutes later, you texted me. You were like, I can't believe. You were still in the car, I think, when you texted me. And you're like, I can't believe this. And I remember talking to dad about it. And he was like, what? Because you were saying you were having some problems with him. And none of us. And everyone was like, he's so nice. He's so perfect. And then I was telling dad about it. And he was like, well, why the fuck did she leave then? I was like, I don't know. Because if you're in a toxic relationship.

You never make the correct decisions. And that's why you just need to break up with everyone. A lot of people ask, they write in about going abroad and they're always like, should I break up with my boyfriend for going abroad? Especially like, they're like, me and this guy at school just started talking. Should I break up with him to go abroad? Yeah. I mean, in my opinion, I know some people that have done the like long distance abroad thing and they visited each other and that worked out fine for them.

But if you're on the fence with someone or just about to start a new relationship before going abroad, like, just don't wait. Just hold it off. I was in a long term relationship before going abroad, but we broke up right before. And he didn't want you to go abroad. Yeah, that was what I was getting to. He didn't want me to go. He was like, don't go abroad. And I was like, and I was like, that's the only reason I wanted to go to college. Yeah.

I was like, I'm going abroad. And he was like, no, I don't understand. Like, we can travel after. I remember it was at, like, Thanksgiving in front of our whole family. He goes, no, you're not going to do that. And I was like, oh, mama. Me holding in, like, oh, my gosh. I'm, like, the sister. No, you would get, like, way too angry at him, though. I don't know why. I would, like, actually, like, scream at him. It's because you guys have the same star sign.

I'm telling you. Yeah, well, he also was just a dickhead and I could see it and it was making me mad. And I'm like a protective older sister and I would literally like I held back nothing. I would like scream at him and we would get in fights. And then you were like, let's leave. No, he wasn't as bad as like you make him seem to be in your mind for some reason. You make him seem like he's like the worst. He wasn't that bad.

Penelope's here. We all have to say goodbye to Ashton because she's leaving. He was a dickhead. We're not allowed to say names on here, Penelope. Oh, sorry. Did you like Ashton's ex-boyfriend? You did. Shut up. You loved him. Yeah, you did.

Penelope loves all of our boyfriends. She always loves our boyfriends. I remember when I broke up with one of my boyfriends, Penelope was so upset about it. And we were out one night on a vacation and she FaceTimed him. And meanwhile, I had not talked to him in like a year. And she FaceTimed him off my phone. And I was so mortified. And obviously he was nice because it was her on the phone and not my bitchy face. I didn't FaceTime him. Yes, you did. When? When we were in Costa Rica. That was Isabel.

bell no it was you it wasn't me oh girl it was you we see you well it's time to say farewell to ashton we're gonna continue the rest of the episode with the other family members she's leaving because she won't miss her class which i'm honestly proud of you for sticking to that we'll see you guys actually next week for ashton's 21st birthday ashton we love you we'll see you next week in new york love you

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We are now back home from the trip, home as in Miami. I know I'm like never here when I'm podcasting. I feel like I'm always ending up podcasting from different places, but that trip was truly the best time ever. It was so nice that I had like a week straight with my family. I feel like we haven't gotten that in so long. It's so cute seeing like the little kids get older. Isabel now is 11 and I just feel like she's getting so much older and I don't know, I really like cherish all those moments that I get with them because I

I don't get to have them a lot, especially just because I was in college the past four years. I'm living in Florida now, so I'm not really in New Jersey or with them as much as I would like to be. But I will actually be seeing them this next week for Ashton's birthday, which we're going to take you guys to New York City for Ashton's 21st, which I'm really, really excited about. Everyone keeps complimenting on my tan.

and I feel like I haven't been tan besides self-tanner in so long. I'm going to Coachella not this weekend, but the next weekend, which I can't believe it's already almost Coachella time, and of course, you guys are going to be coming to Coachella with me, but I really want this tan to last, but I know it's not going to, so whatever. But we're sitting down. I figured we would do a little What Would Alex Do, a little Me and You time, time to chat. And if

And if you guys aren't familiar with What Would Alex Do?, this is where you guys can go write in questions. I have this linked in the Hot Mess Instagram and Hot Mess TikTok in the bio. Even on my, actually, like, Alex Earl accounts, you can go Hot Mess, hit What Would Alex Do?, submit a story, submit a question, literally anything you're feeling. You guys often write in a lot about guys just because I feel like that's where, like, girls, we get lost a lot, but...

Anything that you want to talk about, I'm here to read, answer for you. I love going through these and you guys are so sweet and supportive. Hi Alex, my boyfriend is the most perfect person, we have a great connection, and everything is like too good to be true, dot dot dot.

I got worried because nothing has ever been perfect in a relationship for me. How do I get out of my own head? It's been my hardest struggle. This is something that I've also really been working with and also part of the reason that I got into therapy is because obviously right now I'm in a relationship. Everything is perfect. Like he is so nice, does everything right. We have so much fun together. I can be myself around him. He's good with my friends, good with my family.

And for the longest time, and this is still something that I struggle with because I just think if you're a girl and you've been fucked over before in the past, this is something you have to like work on and get past. But like my trust issues, like I don't trust anyone. And it's been so hard for me to like let go of that and kind of just let myself be vulnerable and be enjoying myself.

the relationship as much as like it is perfect and amazing but there's always like this part of me that I'm like well what if like what's gonna happen and I'll ask my friends or ask my family and they're like Alex like you need to just like chill out and like enjoy you can't be stressing about what's gonna happen or you know when something's gonna blow up like you just have to like sit back and enjoy it but that has been really really hard for me because I don't think in

any other relationship I've been in the past, like they've either cheated on me or they've become like a different person like a few months in or a year in or two years in and then you're just so like blindsided and you feel so stupid and I feel like your body goes into protection mode where you're like, I'm not going to let myself ever feel like this again. So it's hard to like let yourself feel

be vulnerable but that's something that I've really really been working on with myself and it sounds stupid because it's like how could it be so hard to just enjoy a good relationship but it is hard when you've been like screwed over so many times in the past and it's hard to just let down that wall and just be vulnerable and be present in the relationship. You have to let yourself experience the good because you could end up ruining the good in the relationship but

by being so worried about what could possibly happen in the future or what is like being hidden from you. I don't know. I think part of me will always have like a little bit, like there's going to be a few percentage of me that's always just like my intent is up, like what's going on. But I feel like that's just because I've been screwed over so many times in the past. But yeah, I definitely feel you on that one. And that is a really good topic and question that I feel like

We don't really talk about ever on here. And I just wanted to let you know, I feel you 100% on that. And you know what? If you're like me, maybe start some therapy too. Talk out your issues because it is hard when something feels too good to be true. But my advice is just ride the wave, see what happens. And then if it's not too good to be true, then we leave.

Okay, well, that's definitely so normal to...

be thinking about someone that you spent time with or you hooked up with even if you say you don't have feelings you may have a little bit of feelings and this was something I would always do I'm like I don't like them like I don't like them at all and you know that I'm thinking about them talking about them I'm like what are they doing like maybe I do like them but I will never admit to myself that I do like them distract yourself hang out with your girlfriends or go see like other guys start talking to other guys even if

you don't really like them or just, I don't know, text them or Snapchat them, whatever you do. Uh, ooh, side note. I don't like guys Snapchatting and I feel like we really need to get over the Snapchat hump because...

If a guy is asking you out on a date or asking you to hang out on Snapchat, that's a no. That's a red flag. That's a no. Like he should be mature enough to be able to text you and get your number. And there's just something so like immature and icky and weird about Snapchat that

You didn't even bring Snapchat up, but I'm just thinking of this. And I've had friends like deal with this on guys they've met on like dating apps and stuff. And they'll like Snapchat them. And I'm like, just text. Like, what are you hiding? It's weird. It feels like we're in like early high school. Like, get off the Snapchat and just text and be a real man. That was a little sad note there.

But I would definitely say just distract yourself, talk to other people, hang out with your girlfriends, go meet new people. Because until you have someone else, like, I just feel like it's normal for girls to want to focus on a guy or, like, a love interest or just, like, you like someone. Like, that's normal for...

you to want to have someone to, like, have your claws in. I don't know if this is making sense, but it's hard to be at a place where you just don't have, like, anyone on your vision board. Like, no one's in your head. So it's like, maybe you don't like this guy, but because you have no one else, he's just, like, stuck sitting there floating in this, like, love interest area, even though he's really not, like...

the guy for you. So, I don't know. Go meet new people. That's what I would do.

"Often times I feel like I'm always the one reaching out and making plans with these people, but it's never reciprocated. It's sad to admit, but I feel like I didn't text them for a week no one would reach out asking me to hang. As it is my last semester, all I want to do is spend as much time as possible with my friends before we move to different places. I know that I'm starting to take it personally and internalize it, even though I probably shouldn't. I've made an effort to get closer with another group of friends and they're so wonderful.

And don't make me feel like our friendship is one-sided. However, I still can't help feeling hurt about my friend group. What would Alex do? My one question to this is are these girls all hanging out without you? Because then I feel like I would take it personally and be like, okay, well clearly they're all hanging out without me. Like what's going on? Graduating and friends and like growing out of college and having those friends in college that transition into out of college friends is such a

hard transition and a weird topic and I don't think it's talked about enough. Like I literally just had a sit down call with like one of my friends who's like my best best friend but we just like haven't been around each other so it's been really hard and it is normal for people to like grow and kind of go their separate ways after college as sad as it is and I think you really have to like put in the effort to

keep and maintain those friendships but it sounds like you're putting in the effort you haven't even graduated yet and you still want to be close with these girls I don't know I would maybe say something like I don't think you have anything to lose in that spot maybe if there's a girl that you're like particularly close to in that friend group just be like hey like

no big deal just kind of feeling like we've been distant and like see what they have to say if it seems like they're saying something genuine back to you and like oh my gosh I didn't even realize I've been so busy I'm thinking about graduating like my mind's been all over the place like I didn't even like realize that our friendship was drifting that's I would say a good sign green flag if they go the other way and they're like oh I don't know like weird like whatever I

then that's not someone that you want to be friends with because that's not a true friend and they're just like letting that friendship diminish and it's great that you're hanging out with other girls and getting to spend time with them and they've been nice and amazing and it is weird because there is such like a big transition with friendships I feel like senior year of college and then going into post-grad life there's everyone's going their different ways people are moving into different towns they're getting jobs like they're going into different areas and everyone kind of starts to like

change a little bit and it is really weird and sad but don't feel like you're alone in this don't feel weird about this like this is a very normal thing I will say the one friend that I started to drift with a little bit just because we hadn't really been keeping up or talking we just had to talk and neither one of us meant to not communicate with the other one we've just been so busy and like literally like didn't put in the time to like

call each other and text each other. And like, we let it drift a little bit and we both were upset about it and kind of like internalizing it without talking to each other. And we finally like called and talked and it's amazing. Like nothing's wrong. Like we're both on the same page. So I really feel like talking with one of those girls is going to give you a lot of clarity. And if the clarity is that they're not good friends, then you can't take that

personally, like that's not people, you don't want to be friends with people that don't want to be a friend back to you. So it's like, as much as that sucks, like you are graduating college and you can go out there and meet new people and go to a new place and whatever you do for work, like you're going to meet people through work. So it's like, I think either way, you're going to get some type of clarity and

solution out of this from just sitting down and talking. Hi, Alex. I have been feeling distant with my boyfriend and I don't really think I want to be in a relationship right now. He's very controlling and I have to send him pictures of what I'm wearing and who I'm with when I go out. His family is very special to me, which is one of the reasons I haven't broken things off yet. How do you think I should go about this? By the way, I love you and you're beautiful. I love you too and you're beautiful too and you need to break up with your boyfriend. Ugh!

I'm so happy that you're being self-aware and realize these things and realize that's not okay. Like someone asking to send pictures of what you're wearing and who you're with, like,

That's just giving that he has trust issues with himself and he's insecure and you should not be with this person. And that's great that you love their family, but you're not going to be living with his family and marrying his family and you're going to be with him.

that's not gonna work out. Like, that's just never, never gonna be good. You also said you don't even think you want to be in a relationship right now. Then don't. Like, we have one life to live. You're young once. I don't even know how old you are, but it doesn't matter. Also, my mom is still dating and she's... Oh my gosh, it was just her birthday. She's... I don't want to say her age. She'll yell at me if I say her age. She's 25. But it's like, just...

Don't like we have one life to live too short.

don't put up with someone who's gonna have you send pictures of what you're wearing and who you're with like a freaking stalker. All right, I think that's it for this week's episode. Thank you guys so much for listening, tuning in. Don't forget to subscribe, follow, keep up with the Hot Mess channels. It means so much to me and now I have to start packing because next week we're going to New York. I'm throwing Ashton's 21st birthday party for her. I love birthdays. I love parties.

And it's 21st birthday, which means we are going crazy. We're going to have a lot of fun. It's like right up my alley, which is why she's having me plan the whole thing for her. So I can't wait to take you guys there and spend the week in New York City with you guys next week. So next Thursday.

I will see you. Love you guys so much. Don't forget to write into What Would Alex Do? Bye. Listen up, you naughty little pelicans. It's Harry Jowsey here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s

It's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boy For Material with Harry Jowsey comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations and giving you honest advice on them all.

Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy every Tuesday here on Spotify. You know, you might potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy on Spotify.