#2673 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E12: Mixed Drinks, Mixed Messages
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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Madelker and joining me fresh in the new year in 2025, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hello, Ben. How are you? Hello.

Wonderful. How was your breaky break? Did you have a nice time? Amazing. Can't believe it's ending. Fantastic. Beautiful. But, you know, glad to be back talking about the Bravs. How about you? What's your 2025? What are you going to do? What's your goal?

Well, my goal is to be as healthy as possible while we go on tour. I know that sounds like I'm actually just promote finding a way to promote our tour, but it's actually a really, it's a big concern. I'm really trying to be healthy over the next four months. Um,

Um, so I'm really looking forward to that. And I'm also looking forward to, we had a really fun bonus episode, by the way, I will show this that on Patreon right before we left for break, we did a bonus episode where we talked about what we want to happen in the new year. And we look back on the past year. It was actually a really lovely episode. So, um, please go and listen to that. That's at patreon.com slash watch what happens. And this is also a video. I see. I am automatically shilling no matter what.

But this is also Crappies on Demand. You should come watch it as well. And the truth is we are going on tour and the tickets are at WatchYourCrappies.com. To that end, by the way, the crappies, now we are officially less than a month away from the crappies, which is scary as fuck. But guess what?

First round voting is going to open up on Monday. So this is your warning, your alert. Be ready. Voting for round one will be on Monday. We'll have the link up on our social media. We'll have it on our website, all that good stuff. We're currently compiling the categories. Thank you for everyone who submitted nominations and ideas and suggestions. It's so fun to go through it, go through memory lane. I can't wait.

to have a final ballot, but really looking forward to that. So, so that's that. And what about you, Ronnie? What is your goal for 2025? To stay hot. Yeah. All right. So here we go. Let's party below deck sailing. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

Monsters, it was really nice to start the new year. Well, actually this episode came on before the new year started technically, but we're not recapping it till the new year, but it's our first recap of the new year. And Bueller's here. Hi Bueller. Welcome. Hi Bueller. Look, he just hopped. Recap of the new year, Bueller. Wow. Bueller's first appearance of 2025. By the way, I just want to also mention to people while Bueller is here,

that uh ronnie was very lovely now you're leaving i didn't like all the attention he was like i'm out of here i just want to say uh i did get to finally see ronnie's renovated home and it is gorgeous and beautiful and congratulations ronnie thank you labor of love it is stunning you have such an eye and if you are to flip a house

ever like, please, whoever's listening, I know there are people that are listening, give this man a TV show because Ronnie did a great job and he deserves his own HGTV show. I will be the Jax to your Britney on this one. I am going to shill for an HGTV show for you because it was beautiful. The choices for furniture, the color palette, the materials, you just did a wonderful job, Ronnie. I'm really proud of you. - Ben, thank you so much. - Yeah, no, it's great.

I want a lovely Christmas song. We had a Christmas party over there. It was just so nice. I had so much fun. Okay. Memories. Okay. Memories. Anyway, that was last year. First thing of the new year. Okay. So it was good to be the first show back of the new year was below deck and to have monster guests.

Just felt so good just to have unpleasable people, just jackass people who acted like they're the fanciest people in the world, but obviously don't know what they're fucking talking about, which was great. You know, like complaining about the taste of an Aperol Spritz as if they could do anything about that. It's literally Aperol. It's not up to much interpretation. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Did I text you? Just ignorant, stupid, fucking awful, nasty people. And it was nice, you know, because I feel like sometimes people try and fake it for this show. And it's nice to just have shitty people. Normally I hate it, but sometimes I like when shitty people are like, well, we're shitty. And that's just the way it is. We like being shitty. We're going to stay shitty. So stay shitty, shitty people. What a great start to the new year. I agree.

but there's always this element of dissatisfaction I have across all below deck shows, which is that when you do have shitty house, shitty guests on the boat and then the show airs and then the show always roasts them because the crew roasts them, the internet roasts them. And like, I always want to like, I want them to be accountable or I want to like put a microphone in their face, be like, how do you answer for this now that you've seen it? What do you say? And we never get that with the guests. They just go back off to obscurity unless they're like Jill's Aaron. But yeah,

Um, I want to, I want these people to say like, oh, wow. We saw, we saw ourselves on screen and we were, we were terrible. Like I want to know what they thought seeing themselves. I've often followed up with people on the show where I go on Instagram, I find their accounts. Cause I love to read America, just reading these people for filth, you know? And.

They do like that Bobby Rose or what was that chick? Not Bobby Rose. Oh, Erica Rose and Erica Rose, her horrid mother. Yeah. Those awful monster trash people. They were read for filth. And I loved reading that. And of course it was all editing's fault and it was all the staff. So that's the big spoiler is that it's still never their fault. You know, it's always editing's fault. Always. Every single time. I've never read one that's like, wow, we really sucked. You know? Yeah.

Well, this episode definitely had me feeling a certain sort of way because it was one of those episodes where I texted Ronnie. I think I texted you and I was like, this episode is making me feel a lot of things. Now, I've forgotten almost all of it because it was last year, guys. But as we go through it, I'm sure like things will be drudged up and I will have rage anew. But I was feeling things. I was having a lot. I know. Oh, my God. I just had a I had a Vietnam flashback into what made me so mad. Actually, yeah.

And I will get to it. I will get to it, everyone. We're going to put a pin in that. That's a preview. Just wait. Just wait for about 75 to 80% through this way through our recap and my anger will come out. Yeah. Well, this show is hard to even get that angry about because this is the

the lowest rent of all the below decks, the boats falling apart. There's always shit falling all over. I mean, I know they're tilting, but they still don't have a cabinet doors that can close. People come spill drinks on you. I mean, that's just how the show is. They serve you shitty food half the time. There there's sperm all over everything.

You know, there's they fuck all over the boat. There's it's just a nasty skeevy show. Gary's always there driving your, I mean, it's just one of the skeevier skeevier shows. So there's an element of me that no matter how bad the guests are, I'm always kind of on their side. Cause I'm like, yeah, let's be honest. They're probably right. You know what I mean? Like these guests were complaining about every drink, but then I was like, but these drinks probably do suck.

And they complained about the food. And I'm like, but the food probably did suck. Like the things they complained about, they weren't great, but they might've had a point. But also you're going on a charter for like a very reduced cost. We know this. And it's a, it's a broad, it's like on TV. Like I know if I want to have food,

a delicious meal i'm not going to go to gordon ramsey's hell's kitchen i'm going to go to a proper restaurant i'm not going to eat on the soundstage so like yes they are entitled to be disappointed by shitty service 100 and i know that if i were on the boat i probably would be a monster i'd be edited to be a monster but that being said like uh also you know what you got yourself into

Yeah. Also, it's also the one day charters. You know what I mean? Because I already have zero respect for one day charter. It's like you're already getting a bargain, but you need this much of a bargain. Like, really? They're like, I'll give you five dollars and then we'll just come be monsters on your boat. And then they're just like, I don't understand what this food is or, you know, whatever it may be for the one day charter. But they're never good and they're always horrible people. And it's like you are the ultimate NASCAR people. Can you please stop pretending? Actually, are NASCAR people rich?

But you know what I mean? They're just like the lowest. Sorry. I'm defending all the NASCAR people. But you know what I mean? When NASCAR comes to town and suddenly there's flags you don't understand on cars and like people tailgating you and yelling faggot out their window. You know how it is.

that's exactly what these people are you know not these in particular i just mean lower rent people in general though i just mean one day charter p i'm not even going to say lower rent anymore i'm just going to say those are one day charter people i think you're i love this i think you're so right i feel like we've never really have articulated that like when when when it says one one day charter i'm always like cheap like with walmart today

Pack, please pack up your bindle and leave. It's the, I always say the one day charters are my favorite because I always see my own clothes represented on screen. It's like, Oh my God, finally people who wear old Navy are here. But also like, what's the point? Like you're like, it's a little bit of it's effort to get onto a yacht and to do all that stuff. I just feel like one day, I mean, you're just, it's like,

Like, just do two nights. Like, you're not going to, you know, what if the first day you're seasick? It's just so sad. You're not built in the time. It's just so sad. It's sad. All right. Here we go. Oh, wait, but we do have something here. There's something I do. I don't remember if we talked about this last time. I think we speculated it, but we heard from an old queen at a bar previously. Previously on Blue Deck Sailing Yacht, Gary decides he isn't going to be drinking for the rest of the season, which lasts all of about half an episode.

were speculating on the last episode when Gary suddenly decided that he wanted to be sober we thought like nothing that happened on camera seemed so crazy or above the beyond the pale of what he normally does that he decides to finally become sober and as we all know leading into the season we've read and we know that there's like someone on the staff of Below Deck who

you know, I think was made allegations or maybe press charges or something like that about Gary. I think it was coming on to her inappropriate, yada, yada. We know it's terrible. And so we were wondering if maybe this happened, like, and this is what really caused him to be sober. And then we heard from an old queen of the bar who said that basically that like, I think the timing of it actually did work out. And that when they shoot below deck, there's like forced time, like the cast has to have time to,

They're put into sequester every few days and they're put into hotel rooms.

They don't talk to anyone else. And that's when this that's when this incident happened. So it would make sense that like during a blackout period, no pun intended, that Gary like was in his hotel room. And this is when this all happened. It comes back to shoot. And so for us, we don't on camera, we don't see anything. But what is it's something that happened off camera off like beyond the shooting schedule in between charters.

So what did old queen... I have an article up if you want deets. So this is from Screen Rant. Gary basically was accused by season four makeup artist...

We'll hold her name here because why put her through that? But makeup artist of sexual misconduct stemming from an incident that allegedly occurred during filming in the summer of 2022. Samantha was tasked with escorting cast members to and from their rooms for production in between interview segments. She also kept the crew isolated before and after the interviews.

Samantha claimed... Well, there we go. Okay, I can't not read her name. Samantha claimed that she boozed up Gary back to his hotel room following filming for a confessional interview. Gary had been in isolation after a positive COVID-19 diagnosis kept him from joining the crew. And yeah, so this is where he showed up late for that season. Remember? Because he had COVID or something. So everything I said was basically wrong. Well, you know...

But maybe, okay, so 2022, obviously, this entire theory is... Well, no, because this aired in 2024, but it was filmed a long time before. Because, remember, this has been on the shelf for a long time. I think it was probably filmed in 2023, but it's possible that maybe the allegations surfaced...

Well, let me just finish this so I don't leave people hanging. So she stated that Gary was she was bringing him back to his room and he was behaving erratically and eventually grabbed her from behind and physically restrained her from leaving before she was able to get away. She stated that production never limited Gary's alcohol consumption, and she worked on previous seasons, including season 10, where she accused Bose and Ross of making inappropriate comments or inappropriate comments towards her.

So that's the article there. And when did that article... When did this news break? This was November 4th, 2020. No, it's updated November 4th, 2024. So this must have been a long time ago. So maybe, I mean, so maybe the...

Maybe when the news broke, Gary was maybe reprimanded off camera, etc. So I will amend the theory. But I'm glad you clarified that because I'm not trying to pass along bad information.

even though i blatantly just did but well you know i mean most of it is just stuff we read headlines about you know what i mean and it happened a long time ago i thought the same thing i was like something something and it might have still happened because we don't really know when this was filmed that's the thing about below deck like how are we supposed to know when this was filmed yeah well we will keep an eye on it and we'll try to piece together the timeline as best we can

But anyway, the point was he must have done something really bad off camera to warrant him suddenly becoming a good little angel and deciding he's going to quit. And then he even did the PR thing of look at me. I'm going to have a girlfriend now when he's trying to make good with Daisy. Oh, it's just me and Daisy. We have so much going for us. And I believe in us long term, even if you don't. I'm just.

Just this whole, it's just me, dependable Gary, just waiting for you. You know, like, girl, you have been such a fucking monster. And whenever a boy starts this good little boy act, it's because he's been caught doing something very, very bad.

bad. Exactly. I think I told the story before. It's like when I was in eighth grade and my parents were like, you know, it's time for you to go to a sleepaway camp. You need to, you need to grow up a little bit. And I was like, no, I don't want to leave home. So I went and I washed all the dishes in the sink. I was like, I'm going to show them I'm grown up. I can wash the dishes. And I was like, I'll fix it. Um, and that's basically what he's doing. He is washing his dishes, hoping that this will suddenly cause things to change rapidly. And it won't.

So we start the episode. Everyone is waking up after their crew night out and Daisy and Gary are sharing a room and Daisy's like, so did you have fun last night? And he's like, yes, I did have a fun night. You know, it's hard to get along with everyone when everyone's drunk. I'm like, no shit. It's hard.

Imagine, we've been the ones having to watch you get wasted for four years now. How hard is it on us? Now you're only just getting barely a taste of it. And everyone getting drunk doesn't even compare to what everyone's had to deal with when you've gotten drunk, sir.

So then we go to Danny, who has just hooked up with Chase. You know, they've been banging in the bedroom all night. Three times, we find out later. And she's like, so last time I kissed somebody on this crew, I was told I could never happen again. But this time, I'm hoping you'll say that he needs it to happen all the time. And I loved every second because I did. So wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. And then Chase is like, wow. Gee golly.

I've only been here three days and last year I had to sleep in the fucking crew mess because there was sex happening in my fucking cabin. Now here I am. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Just got lots of laid.

Yeah. Personality still sucks though. By the way, I also want to mention my favorite part of that little Gary Daisy scene was that after Gary is reflecting on how hard it was, you know, with everyone being drunk and how proud he is that he got through a night of not drinking. He literally says, you know, we should celebrate, have a drink off the boat. You and I. So congrats Gary for celebrating your new sobriety by having toasting to it with a drink. Yeah.

Well, that's what they always say. I mean, listen, that's why you are supposed to celebrate in AA with chips because, you know, salty things are the best things to eat while you're drinking. Yeah. That's where the chip comes from. Exactly. You couldn't be like, hey, congratulations on three months sober. Here's a cocktail peanut. It's like, that's not fun. You know, we can't really commemorate that.

Hey, I broke my teeth on this chip. Well, you're not supposed to eat that, sir. So Diana... So now Diana is like, how was your night? And Dan's like, oh, it was fun. And she's like, oh, I guess I have to do the fucking master again. Why do you have to clean up the sperm? You blew it. You stew it. That's what I say. Not stew it. That's disgusting. You unloaded. You should...

Commode it. You unloaded it. You should commode it. If you've got time to splooge, you got time to stew. Do it. Okay. So the producer's like, hey, so Chase, what about Diana? And he's like, well, Diana is stunning, but I also think she's reserved. Whereas Danny saw an opportunity and took it. And I'm not upset about it.

Is this The Apprentice? Seriously. You know, because and this just for anybody wondering what guys like this easy. That's what guys like. They like it to be easy. Okay. That's all they want. Just make it. Whoever makes it is easier for this guy would fuck a Costco chicken sample is basically what he's saying.

- He is basically like, when he gets an erection, when he hears the Toyota jingle, ♪ We make it easy, easy for you ♪ - Sir, you're not supposed to stick your penis in the pipe. - Right? - It's like they're putting this banana in the tailpipe like he's in "Beverly Hills Cop." ♪ It's time for a commercial ♪ ♪ It's time for a crappin's commercial ♪

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At Georgetown SCS, the learning never stops, and neither do you. Write your next chapter. Be continued at scs.georgetown.edu slash podcast. Then, so Diana has to go clean up the splooge. Not fair. So then Glenn is checking in with Davide. He's like, did you have fun last night? We did indeed. It was so fun. Good times. Good, good times. Did you bleed? Not that I remember. Ding!

did you go to a cave no i don't think you you always ask me if we go to a cave we never go to cave oh i'm just holding out hope so chase is checking with diana but she's like whatever you know he's like trying to be like hey how you doing oh how you doing had so much fun had good night with everybody and she's like uh-huh he's like shut up okay shut up you you talkative little minx all right not working on her

"Ooh Chase, did you have fun last night? Where did you disappear to? Blah blah blah." He's like, "Yeah, I had a great time. I don't remember man." "No, shut up. Come on, spill the beans. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."

So, Danny's going off to Dion about how hot he was and all this, you know, just rubbing it in. And because, you know, people like this also get off on the whole, like, I won. I won the man. You didn't win the man. How does it feel not winning a man? How's it going folding those cum rags? You like that? Yeah, I caused those. I caused those. Like, she gets off more, I think, on the bragging about it to the girl who she beat than the guy that she beat off.

She truly is someone who prattles on. It's not that she talks and talks or brags. She prattles. Like, she is the prototypical prattler. Like, she should be in some old Jane Austen movie coming in and be like, I went with Mr. Willoughby to the dance and he just danced with me all night long. Isn't that amazing? I danced and danced and danced with Mr. Willoughby. It's like, oh, shut up, you prattler. Goddamn prattler. Yeah.

So Gary's telling Chase, "Listen, I thought you were gonna hook up with Deanna. What was that? You were flirting all night." And he's like, "What? I'm not hooking up with anybody. I'm just doing my big job, man. Okay? Just doing the squeegee."

And Deanna, back to Deanna, she's like, "Well, I do not enjoy this because you leave me alone for a good couple of hours and, you know, here I am having to work." And she's like, "Well, why doesn't everyone just make out? You know, you can always sleep in the master. Everyone's being silly about this. If you want to have sex with someone, have sex with someone. I mean, if there's someone to have sex with, I'm having sex with them. Where are they?"

Where are they? Where are they? She can't have sex with anybody. You're there. You're reserving it. You're the first in line at the fucking Hertz rental every goddamn day that they open. How's anybody else supposed to drive a decent car?

I know, you're making everyone else go to Alamo. So Danny's like, well, what do you want? She tells us, what do you want me to do? I mean, like sit back and like watch you stare at him from the corner of the crew mess table for the rest of the season and maybe he'll come hook up with you. Like, no, excuse me. I was a cheerleader. I had 10,000 men staring at me. I'm going to take my short...

Here's what she wants you to do. Not take every cookie off the plate. You know what I mean? Like, leave some for the rest of the people. Just because a cookie plate is there doesn't mean they're all for you. It's not all for you, cookie stealer.

share and share alike can you tell it was just Christmas you wake up and those cookies are gone and I'm like that fat bastard you know and I'm really going on my own journey and trying not to body shame people but I leave a whole plate of cookies out there I wake up they're gone and you just like hear a ho ho ho ho ho yourself and I just fix that roof you fat motherfucker get the hell off my roof

These cookies were not for you. I did not say you could come in this chimney. There are no children here. - I don't even believe in you. - I'm calling Krampus. So Danny is like, "Gary's sick and hot. Like you can have Gary." Like as if, oh, like thanks. Thanks for giving, like giving Diana your literal sloppy seconds. Okay. Thanks for offering up. You know, I'll always, there was a season of "Survivor"

where this one girl, I think her name was Poppy or something, she went off on a reward and they gave her like a mint and she came back and she was like sucking the mint and everyone was staring at her and they were so angry and she's like, "Oh, I'm sorry." And she took it out of her mouth and offered it to someone like, "Do you want it?" And it was just like, "Shut the fuck up." Thank you for offering your Gary mint to Diana. - Yeah.

I mean, you've already given whatever Gary gave you to Chase. So I guess, you know, at least you're being fair with it. The wrong kind of sharing. And Diana's like, no, thanks. I don't do love triangles. Now, regular triangles, I will play them if Putin asks. Would you like to hear me play Moon River? Bing. Bing, bing, bing. All right, stop. I'm going to fuck that triangle.

You know, I thought that was a little inconsiderate because you said you were going to play Moonriver on the triangle, but instead you just sort of accompanied it. I don't think that's fair. Okay, so Deanna's like, that girl moves fast and I expected her to jump on Chase, but it still sucks, you know?

So she picks up the towel. She's like, I hope this doesn't have penis things. Throw it on her face and make her do it. She's like, what? No, that's my towel. It doesn't have penis stains on it. Oh, no.

Alright everyone, Daisy, Glenn and Chloe, it's time for preference sheet meeting in the cave. That's what I'm calling the crew mess now. God, I love it in here. Okay, this is a quick overnight charter. Cheap bosses. Okay, Daisy, thank you. Jillian is an operations specialist in healthcare and Sherry is a celebrity hairstylist. Jillian and Sherry plan to enjoy fun in the sun and great cuisine alongside their friends.

Okay, so one of you charges too much for my blood work, and the other one does terrible tracks on Housewives. Okay, I already hate both of you. One is a professional hanger-on, and the other is fleecing America. So...

So Gary is like, well, the guests would like to enjoy all of the watches this boat has to offer and hope they can catch some wine for an amazing sale. Gary, get through the blah, blah, blahs already.

Diana, stop playing a triangle in here. We're having a meeting. Chase, get your penis out of the triangle. It was easy, man. Okay, so Cloyce just reads seven courses. Okay, so we already know these guests are morons because who asked for that? Seven. Okay, it's not crazy. Is that a thing? No, no, I don't. If you're, okay, if you're going to find us. That's too many courses. Five courses is a lot. Come on. Five is your traditional, right? Well, that's.

Five is your traditional for Captain Sandy. Remember she told Rachel, hey, five courses, just five courses. No, a seven course meal is fine for fine dining. And we're going to circle back to this because this is where my rage is going to come into. But I'm going to let my rage out at an appropriate time. But seven course meal is appropriate. What I do think is strange, though, is that pairing with the drinks they all learn to mix. They want to do a mixology course.

I think mixing with mixology is a strange, like that's a strange request. So they want to do a mixology class and then they want to do a seven course meal to pair with their drinks that they're going to make.

I don't know. That doesn't sound very fine dining-y. And also, whether it's fine dining-y or not, it just doesn't sound like a good idea. Well, it sounds like Gary waiting. It sounds like just alcoholism, right? It's like eight drinks, seven drinks. Okay, so I know that seven course meals are heard of. I shouldn't say they're morons, but you automatically know they're jerks. Because when you come on a one-night charter and you're just like, make us seven courses.

It's like people who, I don't know. It's like, I'm going to get this. I'm going to get everything that I can fucking get. You know, it's like my friend who goes to the front desk and ask for the slippers and the toothpaste and the towels. And then she's taken home the, you know, she'll unplug the phone, the hotel phone and put it in her bag on the way out. It's like, this is my one night at a hotel and I'm getting every free thing I can. Yeah. Act like you've been there before, you know? Um, I,

I, uh, I, well, I'll also like, if it's your one night on the yacht, I kind of feel like I want to spend more time like experiencing the yacht rather than being like stuck at a table. You know, like if I'm going to do a seven course meal, I'm going to do the seven courses at a proper restaurant. Maybe not like on a boat that sideways. Well, now here's another thing. Also, I'm, I'm having to lube up the side of my lips because I got, uh,

For the new year, I'm going on a stronger retinol, which is stuff old people use on their face. For those of you who are like, what is retinol? It's like a face cream that kills a layer of your skin to reproduce skin more quickly for when you're old. So anyway, I had it on my hands. And then after that, I put on argan oil on my face. And I was putting the argan oil on. And I was like, oh, I should just put some on my lips because I love argan oil. Well, I had the fucking retin-A still on my hands. So now my lips are...

falling off. So if my lips fall off during this recap, it's because I did it to myself with face creams. Okay, back to the show. So also, I don't just stand up for the guests real quick. I don't think they specifically said they need to have seven drinks in their seven course meal. They just said they wanted the drinks they learned to be paired. Well, you could do a mojito and pair that with lots of different things with like coconut or something that could go with this other thing. You know, maybe the first three courses go with one drink.

That's all assuming that when you request to learn how to make a mojito, you also know what a mojito is and like a mojito. But we'll get to that in a moment. So Daisy is like, "All right, Claude, just tell me your manual and I'll pick the cocktails to go with it." He's like, "Okay, beautiful strategy." - Well, the January requests are pretty straightforward. They seem like a fun group.

So, Cloyce is like, the guest has specifically requested seven course meals. Not six. Not eight. Not 11. Not four. Not two. Seven. Seven. Thank you. Thank you, Cloyce. Keep talking. Hey, make this monologue longer. Yeah.

He's like, well, my goal is to showcase a broad range of culinary skills, highlights for some things from locals, even in processes. It's like, yeah, you're going to cook seven meals, seven courses. We get it. We understand what that means. Not three. You do not highlight things. Not 19. He's like, I don't want to highlight my skills. I'm going to microwave everything. So they...

Everyone does their tasks and they get ready to go off on the boat for, you know, and everything. And so Gary's like, Daisy, do you want to go get that drink now? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Which I'm like, wow, you're really eager to get that drink to celebrate your non-drinking, sir. I'll be ready for the drink. I'm doing really well, Mr. Brady. I'm ready for the drink now, Daisy. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

So Danny's like, "Uh oh, is this a date? Is this a date?" And he's like, "Well, having Daisy be supportive of me not drinking is a good feeling for me because then I know she's going to be there for me at my worst when I'm drunk because she has been there. And also she'll be there for me at my best when I'm sober, which will never ever happen."

But working together, living together, living together, having these ups and downs, children running all around, snot coming after them, Daisy yelling at me from a fire escape in the middle of a very poor neighborhood to come inside and leave my boys. That vision is just still so strong in me. Daisy just hanging off the fire escape with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth and her ponytail kind of half undone and her makeup smeared down her face while dirty children run all around her. Gah!

Girl, you kick your ass up here before you lose it. Kids, get off the ironing board. That's not the playground. Oh, I told ya. Well, now one of them's lost their face. Get up here, you're fucking good for nothing. - One of the low points of my Christmas vacation was that for whatever reason, Dom and I put "Look Who's Talking" on. It was on TV, and so we watched part of it. First of all, it's not a good movie. Second of all, there is a scene where Kirstie Alley

R.I.P. has a she has a vision of what life would be like if she got with John Travolta. And it's basically it was like literally everything you just described. It was like her and curlers. John Travolta come here with like a pot belly and like the kids throwing food around the kitchen. And she has like a cigarette out of her mouth. Like, did you pick up the milk? And like, that's what Daisy and Gary would be. They would be a look who's talking fantasy. Yeah, just that nightmare trash couple, you know, and it's usually the couple. It's usually like the homecoming queen and the

You know, the football quarterback from high school who just become trash as they get older and it's just gross. But so Chrissy, Ali was in that. Wasn't Roseanne also in that? I mean, half that movie was not even allowed on Twitter. I think that Roseanne was a voice of one of the babies in the sequel. In the sequel. Okay. Look who's talking to you. Yeah. Look who's talking as well.

Yeah, it was a terrible, it was terrible. It was like actually so much worse than I ever remembered it. And then when I saw Amy Heckerling directed it, I was like, Amy Heckerling? I thought it was gonna be some random like old guy. And it was Amy Heckerling, so who knows? So think about that, Amy Heckerling, if you're listening. You did bad work. The title of Ben's movie about that day, Heckling Heckerling. Look who's talking. How about we call it Look Who's Directing? Look Who's Heckling.

So they leave and Daisy's just like, where are we going? Gary? He's like, just to the corner. So they do. And he's trying to hold her hand and stuff. And she's like, what are we going for a drink for Gary? He's like, Oh, for us, for the season, it's the season. And she's like, well, are you not going to drink for the rest of the season, Gary? And he's like, I don't know. Maybe I'll have a glass of wine tonight. Well,

Daisy, why did you give me this slo-sip pizza? Oh, that's to represent the wedge of the chip that you achieved in your eight hours of sobriety. I'll spit it out.

So then meanwhile, Dani is... She's like, oh my god, Chase is asleep. My lover's asleep. Let's go wake him up. It'll be hilarious. So they go and they wake up Chase. And it's like, funny antics. So we come back to Gary and Daisy. And this is where Gary is now trying to see himself as a mature person. And so he's like...

You know, Daisy, well, Gary tells us, you know, we're roomies and then being besties to being best friends and moving on. In all seriousness, what are you looking for in life, Daisy? Oh, I guess he's telling Daisy this. And she's like, in life? Yeah, for the next couple of years, have you thought about, I don't know, settling down with a tall drunkard who likes to do terrible things to other people? Maybe, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Well, I guess stabilising work a bit would be nice, I guess. You know, I've wanted to check out the die since. Because, frankly, they're supposed to be really great vacuums, but I've never wanted to spend the money. You know, I say leave work at work. That's the kind of thing I say. But it's got a big ball on it, and I've got to tell you, sounds good. Here I come next couple of years.

And Daisy's like,

she's already like oh god is gary trying to really make something happen now well she's used to what gary's done she she knows what gary does she knows his cycle gary's in trouble so gary is trying to you know use her for pr and she's like no no because i think i think daisy likes gary i think she would if gary was being sincere right now i think daisy would be like yeah let's do this but she knows he's not being sincere

And she knows that Gary just likes the idea of Daisy. She likes the idea of he, he likes the idea of being in a relationship and like being the mature person he aspires to be. But I think he also is drawn to Daisy. I think he's not actually attracted to Daisy or wants to be in a relationship with Daisy. It's just that like, she's the only one who, when he's done some real bullshit, like she's just like,

still is like nice to him and so he's well it's like we all love a waffle house because really at the end of the day no matter how drunk we are they at least let us come sit down until we fuck up again you know what i mean yeah exactly daisy you're basically a waffle house congratulations you've achieved so much in this relationship he's like well could you see a relationship with me and she's like god

I mean, I'm just asking for a friend here. I mean, imagine I wasn't here. Someone asked you that. Could you see yourself in a relationship with Gary? And she's like, Gary, you just like the idea of me. I mean, you need to be honest with yourself. You know, I think we both have a lot of work to do in ourselves, but I think I've been working on myself a lot more than you've been working on yourself.

I mean, I think anyone's can work on themselves more than you've been working on yourself. That turtle over there on the beach has worked on itself more and it's dead. It's a dead turtle and it worked on itself more than you. Let me just say as a person who doesn't really care about either one of you truly. And I can, I can say that with, with heartfelt in a heartfelt way. Neither one of you have worked on yourselves. You're both exactly the same. Okay. Carry on, carry on with your fake conversation. You are both exactly the goddamn same. What are you talking about?

He's like, what? I've worked on myself. And she's like, I think that you can get into a relationship with anyone. I think you need to really work on yourself because you're not going to have a healthy relationship with anyone. He's like, yes, but don't you think it's good to find someone in life that you can work on yourself with? Someone that brings out the best in you, like Hellman's? She's like, I don't even know what the Hellman's is. But you have to be in a secure relationship and you need to be with a secure person. And we're not secure people. I mean, look at me. I'm Daisy for crying out loud. Daisy! Daisy!

She's like, you're talking about somebody fixing your problems, Cara. And he's like, can someone understand your problems? Did someone come in and say, okay, look at it from this side. Isn't that what love is? No. You want to date a fucking roll of paper towels to come in and clean up your mess. No.

Someone to hold my hand. Someone to clean up my mess. Someone to slap me in the face when I get too drunk in between charters. Being blah, blah, blah. Being blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire.

You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out.

Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

They say Hollywood is where dreams are made, a seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored, and capture America's heart. But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune, and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Radin was found dead in a canyon near LA in 1983, there were many questions surrounding his death. The last person seen with him was Lainey Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer.

who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break into the movie industry. But things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went missing. From Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder.

So Gary's like, I think I've been too scared to commit because I don't want someone to put me in my place because I'm selfish. But I know it's what I need. Well, that's what the police are there for, you know?

But he's like, no, it's someone like Daisy. And she's like, well, because of everything that happened last year and Cara, he didn't respect my relationship with Colin. And I kind of took a step back from our relationship. Actually, you hooked up with his best friend.

which you have every right to do. I'm not shaming you for that, but you hook up with his best friend, then still flirted with him the whole time. Then they both treated you like total shit. And then you ghosted him until this season. Why are you acting like you took some step back? Cause he didn't respect your relationship. You know who else didn't respect you? Colin and Colin ended up good boy, good boy clubbing it with this one the rest of the time. Yeah. Um,

Either way, I think that Gary is trash. And although you're not really refuting that. No, no, not at all. She has an interesting way of amending history. But that said, he is trash and she's not trash. I hope the best for her. I don't. I don't hope the worst for Gary. I just don't. I'm just like, stay over there. You know, stay over there. Yeah.

Well, at last Gary did some serious growing up very fast. Us having a future? There's no fucking way. You know? And she goes, you know, I think we make each other laugh. We have similar interests, you know, like alcohol. Anyway, it's a good list. He's like, so you're saying there's a chance. All right, let's go, please. It was very lovely. Thank you. Now back to not drinking for two hours. So he did. Did he have the drink?

Uh, he, he definitely drank wine because the producers did a closeup on the wine to be like, look, audience, he is in fact drinking wine. It's not something that looks like wine. It is wine. He is having wine right now to celebrate his sobriety. Okay.

Okay, so then now Deanna and Danny are still doing their flirt thing with Chase. And it's annoying. Annoying. So then Cloyce is talking to Keith. And Cloyce is like, so has your attention shifted at all? He's like, what do you mean? We're like, obviously, you were getting along with Daisy pretty good. So how do you feel about that? Is it changing your vibe that she's out with Gary? Yeah.

And he's like, I don't know, really. You know, this morning I felt like a piece of white bread. And then I found out about that and I felt slightly toasted. And I'm just sitting here slowly getting harder and harder, waiting for someone to take up a nibble out of me, really, before I'm ready to be thrown in the bin. Does that make any sense? Someone to put me in the toaster.

Someone to spread some butter on me. Someone to enjoy me for breakfast. Come have a little bite. I'll always be there. Being a piece of toast. Being a carb.

So, uh, Gary's back and he, and he was like, so what'd you guys talk about? He's like, Oh, just fucking everything. Us. Maybe stand and closely. Where'd you guys stand? He's like, I think we're in a good place. Uh,

I don't know. I meant to say not intentionally being vague because he knows that both of these people like Daisy. Right. So he's basically just put a blocker, which he knows he's doing also. He sees Daisy about to get a happy thing. So he's going to come in there and try and ruin it for her by making it like, well, I still like Daisy. So now both of these guys are going to have to back off. This guy's really such a piece of shit. He's such a piece of shit.

So he's intentionally being vague. I'm like, ooh, I think it went really well. No, it didn't. She just told you you had no fucking chance, dude. But of course you're going to come make it sound like you do have a chance so that they don't have a chance, right? So then Keith tries to word it like, well, you know, it's just like a classic high-tension work relationship, you know? Right? Just work. And Gary's like, well, actually, it's pretty full on. So...

What does that mean? Yeah. You know, it was a respectful relationship about chips. Anyway, I need to go lie down. I'm pretty buzzed from my sobriety. So Keith is basically like, I don't really know what to do. I don't want to put my foot in something that's going to get stinky. And Gara is like, well, I guess we're just friends, eh? I thought, it's just like we fight and it's weird what we've been through days. She's like, go to sleep, Gara.

So, yeah, they're just sort of settling in. But if you and I ever live together, we've got to get on a good vibe. And then he farts in her face while she's in the bed. She's like, Harry, you're disgusting! Which I think is the moment she realized she's marrying this man. Okay, so then Deanna and Chase, everybody's waking up the next day and getting ready, you know, and now it's provision times, and Davide is fixing lights in the cabins going, lights, lights, I fix, I'm Italian. Ha ha ha!

And then Gary and Daisy are checking. Oh, Deanna is asking Chase if he slept well. And he's like, I had this dream that two stewardesses came and drug me out of bed. And she seems like so dejected this morning. She's just like, I can't believe someone would do that. Why is he talking to me? And Deanna's like, I don't want to be in love triangle, only Putin triangle.

So Daisy, she's like, how are you doing? Are you okay? Are you upset at her? And Chase, like, hook it up. Do you want to be mad, Diana? Do you want to yell at Danny? Do you want to do that? She's like, I don't know. He wanted her. And she's like, sure. Well, okay. So would you hook up with him? No, no, never. I mean, I was vibing, but apparently it was not true on his side.

And she's like, well, you know, it was a bit shit because you didn't really have a chance, did you? And she's like, well, I'm not going to fuck somebody on the first day. She goes, well, with you being reserved as you are, I mean, look, I'm not saying it's your fault. I'm just saying he's an idiot because the boy's an idiot, you know? Yeah, you leave a chicken wing on the table, the boy's going to eat the chicken wing on the table, not the one that's in the refrigerator that needs to be prepared first. It's just how they are. We are, I guess. I'm gay. What am I talking about? We're the worst. Yeah.

Diana's like, I feel like Danny sees everything as competition and fuck that. I don't fight over men. No, thank you. I have more things to do with my life. Like sit in corner and stare angrily at something. I have more important things to do, like clean the comrades of people who are fighting over the men, you know?

So then Deanna's like, he wanted easier and he got her and that's it. So that's true. So then the guests come on board and Daisy gives them the tour and stuff. And their first complaint is when they see the hot tub and they go, well, it would be nice if that was an actual pool. It would be nice. Yeah.

Maybe next time, go to a pool. Yeah, maybe next time, like, read the fucking listing of the Airbnb that you rent. You know what I mean? It's like you show up to an Airbnb. There's a kitchen sink, but it's not a pool. So there's five points off. Maybe next time, look into what a boat is and look into what a pool is and see why maybe they don't play well as friends. Okay? Maybe. Yeah.

So now they're like, can we have help unpacking our bags? And so they're already making all the requests and everything. So they, now the, uh, they leave port and now the guests are asking for drinks and they're just being so obnoxious about it. They're like, Daisy, Daisy, we have another drink. We have a refill. We have a drink. Oh my God. I left my drink over there. I can bring my drink. I lost my drink.

Yeah, and they're like, "Where is she? Did she forget about us?" And someone's like, "Oh, she's tired." And they said, "Well, did you tell her to make a margarita?" "Daisy, get my champagne from my bathroom!" I mean, God, I'm not on vacation. If you want something, ask the right people. Oh no, one of her friends is like, "I'm not getting that. If you want something, ask the right people for it." So then they're like, "I mean, is there a button you can press? Like, where is everybody?"

Oh my God. And they're just like asking, making lots of requests and everything. So at this point I would say like, okay, I can imagine that the editing made them look really spoiled because like I can imagine they're so excited that they have all the servers. They're being jokey amongst themselves. It makes it look like they're doing this, but the rest of the charter though, they just continue to get worse and worse and worse. So now they are, now the sales go up cause it's time to go sailing. So captain Glenn is all excited and,

And now the boat starts to tilt to the left. Everything falls out of the cabinets because once again, the crew has like, they act like they had no idea this would ever happen. So they don't lock anything down. So everything's tumbling out of every shelf. And then of course, one of the guests is like, this is not what I expected. Why is the boat going sideways? Don't tell me you never watched a show that you went on.

Yeah. You know what I mean? You didn't even watch one episode. I do not believe you. So then she starts with the whole, oh my God, the boat's tilting. I can't handle it. I'm going to throw up. I'm definitely going to throw up. I'm definitely for sure going to throw up. Okay. Another piece of evidence is this person is a complete asshole who is in a group of people

and needs to barf and just sits there. I'm going to throw up guys. I'm going to throw up. Then get your ass up and go to the bathroom. What are you doing sitting here? You're going to throw up on me. You don't have anything to throw up into. You're not bent over the side of the boat. Are you planning on me being your target of throw up? Cause I will throw your ass overboard.

Okay? Who the fuck invited this person on? That's the last time I would ever go out with that person. One of my best friends, I was driving her home when she was wasted, and she said, I have to throw up. And I said, I'll pull over. And she said, I can't wait. And do you know what this little angel did? She barfed in her purse. Wow. That's what good friends do. That's a good friend. You try to accommodate. Also, how about this? Crazy idea. How about you just turn the fuck around and barf into the ocean? For real. That's what the...

There's like a little, like a giant space for you to throw up. It'll be okay. Like why did they have to get those? You'll probably be throwing your straws in there within five minutes.

I know. And on top of that, honestly, I really do think she's being dramatic because how is it that the choppiness of the C she was fine with, but when they tilt, that's the issue? I feel like the tilting is not what will make you seasick. I think it's the up and down, the choppiness. So she was just, I think, being like, oh my God, it's sideways. I'm going to get sick now. And she doesn't even wind up puking, by the way, because they would have shown it. So they are running all around to find a bin,

which by the way, they kind of should have had one, like they should have like seasick bags, like ready, like not just like tucked away at the depths of the ship. There should be one on the deck. But now she's like, so she basically says like no more tilting of the boat, which is like, look, I'm not, I don't get off on the boat, the sailing the way Glenn does. But like, if you're going to get, if you're going to book a sailboat, why would you book the sailboat and then not want to do any of the sailing? It's just stupid.

Yeah. So then one of the friends is like, are you sure it's not the margarita? Like now you're already blaming service for your friends wanting to throw up with seasickness.

So then Daisy's like, oh my God, it doesn't sound like anyone's throwing up. And then we hear bleh, bleh. But we still get no proof that she threw up, right? I don't think we saw that she threw up. I don't think so. So then Gary is like, so you're not comfortable? You want us to stop? Which I think is the first time in history Gary said that. And she's like, yes. So then Glenn stops and he's like, this is the first time I've ever been asked to stop sailing. Whoa, I hope to God it's the last time.

So now Gary goes to check on Cloyce and he's getting that seven course thing ready. And now it's time to put the sales away and drop anchor. And now where should we do the cocktail making class? Daisy is asking Danny, which is interesting. Why would you ask Danny? She doesn't know anything. And Danny's like, at the bar. And Daisy goes, oh, that would be cute. It's also where all the liquor is, Daisy. It's where you would have a mixology class.

So Daisy asked Danny to like get some stuff ready. And then Danny is like talking to this woman, Jillian about like when they want to do a cocktail mixology and Tommy and everything like that. And they want to do like,

Class at 7:30, dinner at 9:30. So I'm just getting this ready. And then Gary, like they're all kind of glum. So Gary's like, "Hello ladies, do you want to try some sea bulbs today? Blah, blah." So they're like, "Okay." And so he's like showing how to do it. And they're like, "Um, so wait, so you're literally like a fish in water? Like you're just gonna go straight into a shark's mouth or a dolphin's mouth?"

- The dolphin's mouth could be pretty cool. I've already made out with the shark, so try everything once. Am I right, ladies? - I love that dolphin's mouth is like the worst version for her. She's like, we're going to wind up in a shark's mouth or a dolphin's mouth. I guarantee you the dolphin is not going to be sitting there with its mouth open waiting for you to come into it. - Well, you know, little fish don't feel like that. They're terrified. You know, she's got little fish energy.

So then Gary's like, yeah, I don't have any idea if these girls are having a good time. And I don't like that one bit. So fuck it. I'm going to wet these people. You're getting wet girls. And then he starts pulling them into the water and stuff. And they're just bored. They're like, you know, I mean, see, Bob's meh. I tried it stupid. Well, the water should be fun, but it's not. They just hate everything. They hate the drinks. They hate the service. They hate the tilting. They hate being here.

Everyone's been nothing but lovely to them and nothing has really bad happened to them yet. They just came on here to be fucking miserable and act like they're better than everything. And it's actually been a very functional charter compared to the others. You know, they would have, you know what? This would have been really Emma's time to shine. She could have been like, Oh, so you hate everything. You're bored by everything. You should meet my sister. She says, I am like that. I guess I'm just like you guys. Oh,

Mortifying. Emma would have finally identified with some guests. You know, she would have been like, I hate seabombs as well. I mean, seriously. You hold on, they work, work, work, dragging you through the ocean like a piece of garbage. Unbelievable. I did once find myself in a dolphin's mouth, and you know what happened? The dolphin said, you're doing it wrong. I mean, I can't do anything right, apparently. And then my sister came and rode that dolphin off into the sunset. Pathetic.

So now it's getting set up for mixology, and Diana's like, well, you know, let's get what we need for the drinks. And Danny's like, well, I've accepted everything on this boat is extremely unprepared and unplanned. Well, you were put in charge of preparing and planning it, so I think this would be on you. Yeah, exactly. So this guest who requested a mixology class...

seems so uninterested and unenthused about doing this. So they gather round and Daisy is basically like, all right, ladies, if you're ready, we're going to make some drinks. So then Daisy is like, she starts off with like a mojito, which she makes with brown sugar, which I was like, I didn't think brown sugar was really a mojito ingredient. That was a strange choice. And they just seem...

So uninterested. Do you not put brown sugar in a mojito? I thought it was just white sugar. Is it brown sugar? Well, I always see the cane sugar sticks that they put in there, but I don't know what actual kind. Brown sugar is like molasses-y. Is brown sugar in a mojito? Yeah, I don't know. Brown sugar sounds fancy, but I mean, I don't know. I'm asking AI. I was using it for cookies, personally. Well, according to AI...

Well, AI, Padma AI says, no, brown sugar is not typically used in a mojito unless you're a gal. The traditional recipe for mojito calls for granulated or white sugar. Stupid. Yeah, it doesn't surprise me that Daisy doesn't really know what kind of sugar to use. So, um...

which isn't even meant to be a sick burn, but her mixology is like, all right, here's my Google results on the phone. You know, she's just like staring at her phone. She's like, all right, sugar. All right. We've got sugar in there. All right. We've got some rum in there. She's, it doesn't look like you're getting a course from someone who really understands mixology. You know, this is, yeah, this is kind of like basic bar drinks at this point. And so, but what's funny is that they seem like, it feels like these people have never even encountered a Mojito before because she's like,

"All right, we're gonna put rum in there and some mint and some sugar and some soda." And they're like, "And we're supposed to drink this?" - Yeah. - It's a delicious, delicious cocktail. - Yeah, it's one of the most delicious sugary cocktails. And yeah, Shari is like, "We're gonna drink this." And she goes, "Well, I mean, hopefully it'll be nice."

And then the poor husband, there's one husband on this trip who's trying to be positive and no one will let him, you know, but he's like, oh, that tastes really good. And then someone goes, really? I don't know. I don't know.

Okay, you hate a drink laced with sugar? Get the fuck out of here. I have no patience for you people. My God. It's the most beautiful drink. And so then they go on to a mango. This reminds me of when the Applebee's opened on our town, and my mom tried to go la-di-da at the Applebee's. She was like, well, let me tell you something about these cheese sticks. They're frozen. Oh, yeah. They're frozen. I was like, yeah, you're a real five-star fucking diner there. Were you like, mom, you're being a bad apple?

No, because that's reserved for bus boys who don't clean the tops of the picture frames like me. Rondell, bad apple. So then they move on to a mango martini, which admittedly to me sounds kind of gross. I like mango, but I just think that things like that can often go too sweet and go awry. So they make this...

orange blobby drink. And then this girl goes, it's not sweet enough. That's, that's the thing. Like no one ever says that about cocktails. It's always the other way around. It's too sweet. It's too like clawing. It's too awful. She's like, mm.

This mango frosty, it needs to be sweeter. Lady, get off this boat. Here's a customer service for mangoes. Call them. Let them know. And so Daisy, I like Daisy's response. She goes, not sweet enough? Good to know.

Good to know. And then Shari's like, yeah, I'll pass on this. Why are you guys being so judgy? You're the ones making the fucking drinks. That's the point. If it's not sweet enough, make it sweeter, dummies. You're the bartenders here. That's the point.

You're supposed to cuss. She's given you the skeleton. Okay. You add the stuff to it. Like, come on. So Daisy's like, well, naturally I'm a people person. As everyone can tell. I was never watching the show. That's me. I can't read what's going on. People person, Daisy. So they're like, yeah. Then Sherry's like, I can't drink that one. It's really bad. And like you said, it's like, you made it. You can fix it. So then, um,

Now Marcel's like, I think we should just quit this. And Daisy's like, okay, well, can I get you anything in the meantime? And Shari's like, maybe some water. I mean, gross. So Daisy's like, yeah, this is fucking weird. This water's not sweet enough. This water. So she's like, it's pool Satan. How uncomfortable everybody feels. It is pool Satan.

So then now one of them is like, so do you guys want to do something else like this ever again? And they're like, no. And they're just like all sitting on the sofa, just like bored, unhappy. Daisy's like, oh, well, I hope they like their dinner cocktails.

So, because these are, remember, they're gonna be pairing their cocktails with dinner, you know? So. - You know, we got a message in our Instagram, now that I'm thinking about it, from someone who seemed extremely sweet. So don't worry, I'm not about to diss you, lady who messaged us on Instagram. But she's like, "Oh my God, my friend is coming up next week on Below Deck, and I'm really worried that she's not gonna come off well."

I forgot about that. Did you read that? She's like, I'm so worried it's coming up. Well, let me just tell you, your friend fucking sucks. And I'm sorry. I don't even care which one it is. They all suck. And I'm so sorry that this couldn't work out better for your friend. But they did this to themselves. I mean, there is no amount of editing on earth

that could have made these people look this terrible. These are just shitty people. These are just not nice people. They're not fun. They're not nice. They're horrible. Who goes on a boat and doesn't at least enjoy floating around? They don't even enjoy floating around. Like I can understand not being so excited about the water toys because I could see myself being that person. But like, I don't understand how like you want to do a mixology course and then you're like, you're like blah about it. Maybe, I mean, maybe it's because these are kind of like

like for like your basic drinks they're not maybe they want to something more exotic and fascinating but still like you have fun you're drinking your booze you know like like it's not the drinks and it's not this tilting and it's not the water tour it's everything it's that it's every little thing the whole time it's that they have to come on and belittle the staff

and just treat everybody like crap for themselves to feel better. You know, it's typical below deck, awful guest behavior. And they're really checking all the boxes. So now we're talking about this seven course meal and he's doing a salad, baked oysters, crab cake, soup, fish.

And he's like, you can pack a lot of good stuff into a seven course menu. When I was 11 and did my first seven course menu for President Clinton, don't worry about the timeline. It's not supposed to make sense. He loved it. But, you know, mostly it was cheeseburgers, fries, baked oysters. Those were still there. So if you're going to do a seven course meal...

The dishes have to be small and usually like they're going to be like refined. They'll be like a little this, a little that, you know, it's like almost like a tasting menu, you know? Yeah.

- Almost like a mousse. - Yeah, so this is where I got so mad. And this is where I felt something for these guests. 'Cause every single course he puts out there is like a full-size course. So first he starts out with a big-ass wedge salad, one of the heaviest salads you could have. It is a wedge of iceberg lettuce covered in usually like a blue cheese and bacon. I mean, this looked actually very, very nice. This is a Parmesan emulsion. I was like, okay. So it wasn't pinging my radar. It was just like a nice little wedge salad.

And serving iceberg on a luxury yacht is... Yeah, well, there's that too. And then they... But it's also then they get paired with these cocktails that are so...

inelegant for a seven course meal. So the first one was getting paired with an Aperol Spritz. Now this is no shade against an Aperol Spritz. I love an Aperol Spritz, but it was just like every cocktail was like Aperol Spritz. It was like a peach Bellini came out next to be paired with oysters. Like everything I was like, this is actually a terrible meal. Like I'm a little bit on the guest side about this meal. Cause this is,

a terrible pairing and it's like too much heavy food for like seven courses. Yeah. This is where we go back to the beginning of this recap where I was like, you know, this is one of those where I thought, do they have a point? Because up to this point I've been like, these guests suck. But at this part I was like, oh wow. Well, they had a tasting with nobody who knew how to make drinks. So they didn't teach him fun or good drinks. And now they're having a tasting and the guy doesn't really know how to do a tasting obviously. And the people who are making them drinks don't know how to make drinks.

- Or pair. - Yeah, that's not what, although, I mean, it's easier to do a wine pairing than it is an actual alcohol pairing. A mixed drink pairing is very difficult to do. I've never heard of a mixed drink pairing, actually.

I have, but they're really not as successful. Yeah. And I've heard of a whiskey pairing, you know, something like that. It doesn't always have to be wine, but I've never heard of like, we're going to have seven different mix of drinks to go with seven different courses. But yeah. And not like I'm an old mixed drinks that you make at

And usually if there is like a mixology pairing, the beverages are very, very like artisanal. It's like there's a shrub and then there's a tincture and then there's like a vodka that was like aged with some sort of artichoke or whatever. It's like there's like the cocktails are given actually kind of like in a culinary approach. But this is just like...

Aperol Spritz, Margarita, Long Island Iced Tea. So it's like this, I was like, ooh. But then again, so I'm like, you know, these guests do have a point. But then at the same time, an Aperol Spritz, like you said earlier, an Aperol Spritz is really just two things. And it's a very, very common drink. And they're all acting, they're like,

I don't like this. They're all like, they're acting like it's some exotic drink and they're like, ugh, rejection. And you're allowed to not like an Aperol Spritz, but I just feel like you can't be like, you can't want an Aperol Spritz. You can't blame the bartender on an Aperol Spritz, I guess is the point, right? It's like you're acting like the bartender did something wrong. And they're like, ew, that tastes like cough syrup. It's like, okay, well. It's an Aperol Spritz.

So anyway, so Jillian, one of the ladies is like, so do you like Aperol Spritz to Danny? And Danny goes, personally, yes, but it's not my first choice. Why do you say that as a server too? Don't say that. Everything's a clusterfuck at this dinner. I'm just saying, everybody's wrong in this dinner. Why are you saying that?

like the service is bad the mixology is bad the food's bad the guests are bad it's all bad so cloist is like okay do your next course a play on oysters rockefeller which i call cloisters they're like we don't like word play so he's like okay well this is bad too you're doing something cutesy for the thing don't name it it's very unrepentant oysters rockefeller like it's what is this she's trying to make it look fancy it's like he's doing like a

It's...

If you're going to do like the refined retro thing, you really have to. It's tricky. And like, I don't know, Oysters lock Cloyster's Rockefeller, but then they get paired with peach Bellini's. I cannot think of a more disgusting pairing. It's horrible. And it's like, why are you serving a peach Bellini? That's a brunch drink. Why are you serving it now? Who thought to put peach with Oysters Rockefeller? It's like, oh, God. And then Daisy comes out with a tray of them and spills the tray of peach Bellini's on the primary.

Mary I was like oh my god and then starts laughing it's like oh I'm so sorry and she's like that was just a nervous laugh that was one of the worst moments of my life and I've woken up next to Gary thank god this is just a one-night charter so she keeps saying I'm sorry and literally no one will say okay they just watch her clean it up and yeah so they hate the oysters and

And also she's serving way too many oysters at one time. Why aren't they just serving them one oyster? This is crazy. It should be one oyster. Yeah. That's the thing. And it's number two out of a seven course meal. I was getting so mad. And then, but then I'm like, oh God. So these guests do have a point. But then one of them is like,

Does anyone want mine? This is Sherry, who is the primary. She's like, anyone want mine? Because I don't eat oysters. And so then she's going to get a shrimp replacement. And then they go downstairs. We don't have time for a shrimp replacement. This is a seven course meal. If you don't like something, wait till the next course. It's in two seconds. There's no time. But then they look at the preference sheet. Not only does she not say she can't eat oysters.

She actually requests oysters on her preference sheet. This was bad. Fuck these people. And you can see that he literally circled where she said that she likes oysters so that he would be sure to include it on the menu. So he went out of the way to give her something that she likes and she's making it. She's turning it into something like a weapon.

So she's like, so Jillian's like, okay, you know, we need smaller drinks, which I think is valid. And so Shari's like, Daisy, this Aperol Spritz tastes like cough syrup. That's where we get that. And she goes, well, you don't like Aperol Spritz? And she goes, do you? She goes, yeah.

so daisy brings the spritzes downstairs she goes they don't like the apple spritzes and they just all crack up everyone down there just starts laughing so then like and so jillian's like you know these drinks are too strong how am i supposed to have seven drinks which is again that's a lot seven drinks so um daisy drink a sip of it but whatever i think she's got a point overall so yeah

Exactly. So then Chloe springs up. The next one is a fried crab cake. And it's not like a dainty little crab cake. They all get like a giant frisbee on their plates. I'm like, what are you doing to these women? This is so much food. This is crazy for a seven course meal. And it gets served with a mango daiquiri. Yeah. Oh, what is it? Say it again. A mango daiquiri. A mango daiquiri. They're really leaning into the mango too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I guess maybe it's like they're maybe maybe it was on their request. Just nothing makes sense. Yeah. Very, very not good. And then they have French onion soup. What's happening? Why not a gazpacho? You're in Spain, a gazpacho. So I think he is doing what you were saying, which is the nod to like the supper club or whatever, like the 50s stuff. But like mid-century kind of food. I don't know what else.

It doesn't make sense. So then and it's all also cold weather food. You know what I mean? So then they search it with a Hennessy French 75 or whatever. So then Shari is like, well, what happened to Daisy? Did she go take a nap? She's serving you seven fucking courses, dude. And she's probably not wanting to come up here because every time she comes up here, you guys bitch at her. She's probably hiding from you.

Now it's 11:50 PM, which I also did not even notice this. 11:50 PM when the fifth course comes up, it's a giant Mediterranean sea bass with squash puree with a passion fruit mojito. I mean, look, if the guests requested tropical drinks, then that's fine. And you could definitely have a tropical drink with a crab cake.

and even sea bass, but just seems like this is such an inelegant and disgusting pairing that's happening all night long. - So then they're just exhausted and they're like, we're so tired, this is too much alcohol, can you split the drinks? And Daisy's like, you don't have to drink them all. I'm like, no, split them, don't say that to a guest. Like it's so weird, even though I just said it, I didn't say it to the guest, it's just weird. So then they're like, no, just instead of making six, make three and then split them. And she goes, oh, okay, I'll do that then.

And then one of the friends is like, Shari, you're just getting on her nerves. And she goes, well, it's her job to remember what the guests want, right? She's definitely talking. And one of her friends is like, yeah, well, she's definitely talking about you now, babe. But Shari is right because that woman, Julian, did request like a small drink and they gave her a full size drink. So like that is I mean, I give a point to Shari here.

Yeah. I mean, although Shari is the one that can't remember what she wants, but still. So then Glenn checks in on dinner and Daisy stupidly is like, terrible. They hate everything. They hate me. I'd knock champagne on them. Two of them don't eat oysters, but it wasn't on their preference sheet. And he's like, uh-oh, is the mood okay? And she's like, I'm telling you, it's like nurses on a Saturday night without a cave to go to. Oh, no!

That's terrible. You know, we're used to guests walking off happy and having a great holiday. And on this charter, we're meant to bring it up to a higher level. It's not moving in the right direction. Like this boat trying to stay afloat, which it rarely does. I'm starting to worry. You know, I remember this happened one time in 1982. I just said that to you guys. Oh, there it is. The picture of me with an afro. Okay. There it is. All right. Go on with the show. Uh.

So then they're like talking shit and Glenn's like, you gotta stop it because they may like show up at the staircase. So then Cloyce goes upstairs. He's like, all right, the sixth course for you this evening is a filet mignon, mashed potatoes, and a side of another filet mignon, and a cream sauce, and you have to eat every single bite of it. And so then they get an apple crumble with vanilla ice cream. And a baby kid.

It's too much. Which is Kahlua and Bailey's in the Guinness. Delicious, actually. I love a baby Guinness. So it's a lot. It's just a lot. A lot of heavy stuff. So then downstairs, I guess Keith has just woken up and he's like, Kloys, Kloys, Kloys, Kloys has a Royce, Royce, Royce, Royce. That's a Rolls Royce, Royce. Okay. And he's like, good morning, Keith, buddy. Yeah. And then the guests just like go to bed. They're like, oh.

And Daisy's like, fuck tonight. Dropping the ball. So, yeah, I remembered last night. So, of course, he's giving Chase shit about hooking up the other night. He's like, so, how were you in bedtime stories the other night? He said, great, man. I actually got three bedtime stories, if you know what I mean. Ding, ding, ding. Deanna's just playing the triangle still. I will practice triangle and not care about the bedtime story.

And then he's asking, "What about you? What about you, Cloyce?" And Cloyce is like, "Well, I think honestly the one I find to be most attractive is Daisy and obviously a bit older." And Daisy's like, "Well, like, you're her equal, bro. Like, you're a head chef. I don't give a fuck how old she is. If you're intrigued and she's intrigued, you might just have to get it out of your system, buddy." Yeah. So, then Gary's checking in with Daisy on their last day.

and she's like i'm awful today i'm dreading it and so she's um she's like oh chase chase daisy daisy chase chase daisy daisy chase listen there's a bag in the corridor i'm worried it's vomit and so he's like do you want me to get it and open it she's i'd love it so he opens it and he's like yep it's vomit oh why'd you have to do that don't put your face in it yeah also like

why didn't you puke in your toilet? Is that, is that a strange request on my end? Like to like, it has to be sorry. It's right. It's like the lady who refuses to barf in the toilet. Yeah. Because then later on she mentions, uh, she's like, Oh, I couldn't find, I couldn't find my trash bin. So we had to find a bag for me to throw up. And I'm like, what about your toilet? Have you never thrown up in a toilet? Do you understand how to do it? Super weird. So, um,

they dock, they serve breakfast, they serve like, so they serve like a quiche. And as soon as I saw that quiche, I was like, they're not going to like that. I'm just telling you right now, they're not going to like this quiche. They're going to be like, why is this omelet so tall? And why does it have a crust? They do not like it. You're correct. Uh, she's one of them's like, yeah, that is not good. So, uh,

And now Daisy walks by Chase and Danny who are hugging. And Daisy's like, neither of you have something to do. Go find something to do. And Danny immediately gets all defensive. And she's like, oh, my God, as if you're doing any fucking thing, bro. She's literally walking by to work.

She's like, "We're just..." Exactly. And Dani's like, "You know, you know, Chase comes like past for like three minutes and just comes and speaks to me and then Daisy walks past and has like the goddamn audacity to be like, 'Do you not have anything to do?'" I'm like, "It's not her audacity. It's her job as your boss to make sure that in this moment while the guests are having breakfast that you're, I don't know, cleaning their bedrooms or doing something other than flirting with Chase."

For fuck's sake, woman. So Diana's like, yeah, but I mean, it annoys me too. She goes, well, then say something. You know, don't get pissed off at me. Say something. She does. And then you act like this. And by the way, Daisy did just say something to you and look at your reaction. So don't act like you're literally said something. You're so calm with people just saying things to you.

- She literally just said, "If you have time to lean, you have time to clean." And like, now you're acting like it's shocking that anyone said that you had time to lean when you were full on leaning. - Yeah, stupid. - So the guests are packing up and everything.

They gather in the salon and Sherry's like, okay, guys, just between us, does anyone have any complaints? Do you think that you had five-star service? And Jillian's like, well, I got sick and we couldn't find a trash can. They said seven-star service, I think. Because I was like, how many stars are there? At some point they said, is this seven-star service? I was like, wait a minute, are we changing the rules now? Jesus, we've got to fight for our stars these days.

And so, yeah, Jillian's like, I got sick and we couldn't find a trash can. And then this woman, Tanya goes, yeah, I don't know what to do with the trash can. Go barf in a toilet, people. Jesus. So this is weird. They're having like a little meeting about what they're going to tip, I guess. And so then they bring in Glenn and.

And well, the crew, someone on the production crew obviously tells Glenn, they're like, go talk to them. So he's like, hi, is everything okay? Is there something you want to tell me? And so Jillian's like, well, we're trying to debrief to find out pluses and things that could improve. And when it comes to this level of luxury, you want what you pay for. And there was just a few hiccups here. And Shari's like, Jillian, just tell the truth. Do it.

And so Daisy's looking in there knowing that they're about to get screwed, you know? Because this is definitely like a we're not tipping you situation. So do you think this is a sitch where they're not going to tip? I think they'll tip...

I don't think it'll be a good tip. Right now, I think the lowest tip of the season is still Dr. Contessa, who actually had a perfectly, I think a generally good charter. So we're going to see, will these people be better or worse than Dr. Contessa? Because that is the bar to...

to beat. So I don't know. They might not tip. They were real. They were real, really. They're real pissed. I mean, to have a whole meeting about it and the captains there and everything is not looking good, but we'll see. Yup. We'll see. But for now, that's it for this episode. We'll see what happens next week.

Thanks for everyone who listens. Keep an eye out for that Crappies Ballad. And also don't forget to buy tickets to the Crappies themselves. February 1st, New York City, Town Hall. Or just come see us on the road at WatchWhatCrappens.com for the tickets. Bye, everyone.

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