#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
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Watch what happens, watch what happens, who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch what happens, watch what happens, who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one.

So they're doing, Hudson's practicing some shots and Madison asked Brett how he's feeling and he's like doing okay. It's just like he has to be like, he has to think about his swallowing and needs some medication and adjustments. Now there's a spot on his kidney and he needs a biopsy and it's rough. I feel really bad for Madison because that was really tough to hear. But also because she's also shocked because this is her first time hearing it.

So she's like, well, why didn't you tell me? He's like, well, I didn't want to worry you. And also you're really scary. I don't want to say anything. And he's saying, you know, but that's how I am. I don't talk about things. And she's like, well, you got to with me. And he's like, no, I'm not.

She's like, yeah, but you'll tell me next time, right? I mean, next time, if you get a cancerous spot somewhere, will you tell me? He's like, uh, yes, I guess. Okay. Great communication over there, guys. I love that. I love that you won't. I mean, I get his not wanting to worry somebody until he knows, but yeah, you got to tell your wife.

Yeah, you got her. It's really scary. Although it's kind of funny how he's like, you know me, I just don't talk about things. You know how I don't talk about things? That's just the thing. They don't communicate. He's gone half the time and then he gets really jealous assuming that she's hooking up with Austin on trips. There's some worrisome stuff here. There's some red flags here. It's just that this red flag is really hot and has a great job. So nobody really wants to point it out, but there's some red flags. It's not good. Yeah.

so now we're over patricia's house and patricia's like is ran the downstairs oh yes yes mother ran v's here okay great keep doesn't rain he's found like a shortened i'm sorry ben what were you saying i just said keep brandy away from her last time randy got too close start humping her leg do we have the shot caller

Oh, doesn't Renvi sound like a shortened prescription drug name? Yes. Did you take your Renvi, Renvi? I'm not letting Plaxoriasis stop me one more day. Renvi may also cause a rash, which is sort of funny considering it's for Plaxoriasis. But, you know, at least it's not Plaxoriasis. You know what I'm saying? Renvi. Yes, mother.

So Renvi brings in... Renvi comes in. And she's a new lady. It's Renvi. Hi, Renvi. Welcome, everybody. Here she is. It's Renvi. She has... She's wearing this, like, this pink, this hot pink thing. She looks great. She's got Joan Rivers' hair. She sort of has Cheryl Hines' face. And we've never seen her before, but she is obviously...

made it to the top of the pecking order because she gets to be the lady who comes to Patricia's birthday party. So great job, Renvi. And I like this friendship because she just comes in and Patricia says, well, hello, sweetie. And she goes, oh, hello. And then they don't kiss or hug or anything. And I was like, oh, yes, I love this icy, this icy frenemy shit.

Well, it's hard for me to gush about my birthday because birthdays seem so silly for adults. Birthdays are for children, but it's an excuse to get together with friends and go to a good restaurant and talk about how sad Renvy's life is and have fun, things like that. You know, one of the things we always like to say is nobody envy Renvy.

Poor Renvy's just like, this is going to be fun. It's going to be great. So then they go to a restaurant. It's called Lowland. It's just ironic. We just bring Renvy here to remind her where she's from. You know that sometimes we say, Renvy, you need to go to a man, Lowland, and maybe one day you'll be flooded with all sorts of romantic prospects. But unfortunately, it hasn't happened yet for her. Bless her heart.

Hey, do you have a sister restaurant called Lower Land that we can get envy some ass at? Getting desperate over here. Morlock's Slow Land. Poor Randy.

So Austin comes and Eddie and Ryan, the new gays who still are not justifying that spot that Ryan is getting in the opening credits and poster. Why is he on the poster? He has had two lines in this whole episode. I need more from you gay. All right. Yeah. Even Eddie had more lines than Ryan did. And Eddie is, Eddie's not even on the poster. Yeah. So, uh,

Madison comes in wearing some kind of funky outfit and she goes, "How did I end up looking like this lovely one, betas?" I get emotional just thinking about the impact Patricia's had on me. I mean, she's like a second lover to me. Second lover? Is that what I said? She's like a second mother to me. I don't know why I said that. What the hell is wrong with you, Rondell?

It's two more than Renvy's had. So then... Do you remember Renvy? No, neither does anybody else. She's actually a regular here. The waiter just came and poured a cup of water into her. I said, that's not a water glass. Now, before we get started, I invite everyone to balance a potted plant on Renvy's head.

because she's basically a table at this point sorry renvy it's not your shape it's your personality now listen randy if you want to dress like a slut look at madison but i guess it still wouldn't work for you no matter how skimpy you'd wear dress your clothes i'm drunk by the way had a lot of martinis back at my house

Everyone just goes slap Randy. Patricia has made me. She's tried to bring me into the most ladylike woman I could ever dream of being. And she makes it feel like it's possible. Hadn't happened, but it could. It could. Well, I think the dermatologist. Oh, here's a. I have to make a confession. Ding, ding, ding.

I've been lying this whole time about my age. I'm really 108. Hold on. Hold for laughter. All right. Ranby, I didn't hear you laughing much, but then again, I guess no one really hears Ranby when she talks. Ranby, speak up. She's like, okay, Ranby, never mind. That laughter wasn't loud enough. Ranby, walk around in your underwear.

Okay, everyone. Renvi has requested that she gets to sing a verse from my favorite things. Go ahead, Renvi. Hand drop, son. Okay, that's enough.

Hey, one of nobody's favorite things, Renvi. Am I right? That's why she sings it. She hopes she winds up on someone's lip. But guess what? You're still not as attractive as something wrapped in brown paper bag, apparently. Well, I think a dermatologist is your best friend and also the dentist. I go every three months. If you don't take care of your teeth, that makes you look old.

Anyway, Ranby hasn't been to the dentist in about 13 years. Point taken. Anyway, that's the news. I took Ranby to the dentist one time for a checkup with my doctor, and he said we don't put teeth into tree stumps. I said the upside is people may think you're wise.

So Shep is like, oh, well, whatever you're doing, keep doing that. Martinis. Martinis are the key. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. As in throw them at Renvy. It keeps you young. Guys, think, think, think. Just wanted to say, mom, thanks for being rich. Hilarious. Thanks, honey. So he tells, he's like, I'd like to tell a story about mother. One time.

she sent me to a progressive high school in Washington, DC and me and my friends, we were the hooligans of the school. And they, they called their parents in one time, you know, probably for doing something awful to a woman. Let's face it. We'll look at my track record. And, uh, my mom showed up an hour late. She, she listened for about five minutes and then she stood up and said, well, boys will be boys. See you later. I was like, wow, she has not changed one fucking bit. That's literally still her role on this show. Oh,

Did like one lady's dinner in like 2020 or like not even, it was like 2019 after like me too. And she's like, all right, back to the boys. Boys will be boys. They'll break your chairs. That's what they do. You know what? I have a new movement. It's called me neither. Poor Ranvi's movement is not her. So sad. Um, so,

So Whitney's like, I mean, how could you not love her? She's very ostentatious. She's glamorous. Doesn't suffer full slightly. Somehow tolerates Renvy. She's the best. I love her.

So now the food comes out and the lady's like, this is delicious. This is some chicken with some, what'd she say? Some salsa verde. Y'all enjoy that. Chef's like, whoa, this is a real thing. Wow, gosh. Can I have some garci verde? This is nuts.

I doubt with protest too much for this salsa verde. When you were saying before how the guys, the only reason the guys have manners is because Patricia's here and God, Patricia shows up and they show all these manners. Well, this scene proves that theory wrong. Not a one of these guys closes their mouth. I mean, the gays do.

This, but I have to say this next time we go to Charleston, I am going to low lands because this food looked amazing. That chicken with the salsa verde looked amazing. And then they served Cheryl day biscuits, Cheryl day. She's like, all her food is just made with like 10 sticks of butter. And it's all amazing. I'm, I, I'm like salivating. Just thinking about this, this little, yeah, it looked like some damn good food. That's for sure.

So then Renvi, did you catch this when Renvi was like, well, Austin, you look quite sharp, but of course you're good looking. So of course you look sharp. Well, keep it in your pants, Renvi. Or as I like to call it, the dusty cavern that is your pants. The second you open up that cave, bats aren't going to stop flying out for a week, Renvi. Just keep it closed.

I mean, I'm surprised Jack Nicholson isn't there busting through walls saying, here's Johnny. I mean, no one's in there. It's interesting. You know, the last time we were here, there was you. And what was your what was that child you're dating again, Austin? And he's like, Audrey. Yeah. He goes, we had so much fun. I went home wearing half your chicken dish on my face, but it wasn't the worst night ever.

Yeah, I think that she's charming and attractive. And quite frankly, I think you need someone who's not a drama queen who shows up looking like a slut at someone's birthday party, which is for children, by the way. And Madison just tilts her head like, is this bitch really just talking about me? And then she's just like, well, OK, that's true.

Yeah, it's true. And Austin's like, well, you know, I used to think like I needed someone who would like put my feet to the fire, but I think it's actually quite the opposite. I need someone who lets me get away with all the shit in the world. It's that simple. Pretty much. I need to be able to do whatever the fuck I want and have someone childish and desperate enough to be on TV that she'll let me do it. Yeah. Great. This is the path that men take. A lot of growth.

when he's like are you insinuating that madison's a drama queen mother share that mother and austin sorry go ahead ben well no i would i would prefer you to speak miss pat

No. He's like, well, you know, she's more of a drama queen than Audrey. And she goes, yeah, I guess that's true. So I guess you just found yourself a brat, huh? Except, you know, with that gorgeous face, gorgeous body. Who's not a father to your child and who isn't rich, but, you know, close. And he's like, yeah, I guess you could say that.

So then they ask where this guy is, where Brett is. And she's like, well, he's just having so much fun not being here with all of us. You know, he's just oh, no, he's having a lot of FOMO not being here with us. It's what it is. And she has to, like, take a moment. She's like, I'm not going to bring him around here because I don't want him to spill what's going on with his health. And then, you know, these people will make it all about that, basically. Yeah.

So Eddie's like, okay, I'll get the ball rolling. Where's Craig? And Pat's like, well, I thought he was in Sonoma, which is also what I call Ransby's love life. Sonoma, man. But apparently he came back today. And Ryan says, Craig is at Kroger. And they all crack up like it was just some diss. But I think Ryan was like, Craig's in fucking...

grocery store. It's like, what does he care what you losers think about him? That's how I took it. How'd you take it? I took it like, no, he's here and he's at Kroger making, getting, getting, buying his groceries for dinner while we're here having this amazing meal. Oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.

I thought, oh, wow, that was nice. Okay, so Austin's like, yeah, I talked to Craig. He was like, what are you doing later? And I was like, oh, my God, this is so awkward. It's so crazy. It's like nuts right now. But like, I'm going to dinner. And he was like, who with who? And I was like, well, a bunch of us. And he was like, what? Where have you been quite? And I was like, well, it's Pat's birthday. This is so this cast to just make Craig feel like shit on purpose, just so they could have a storyline of Craig feeling like shit.

Well, all Austin had to say is, all he had to say is, oh, I'm going out. What are you doing later? I'm going out to dinner with Patricia. That's all he has to say.

But instead, but the moment you say this is so awkward, you're saying that Craig should feel awkward because he's being intentionally excluded, which he is. But still, like you're you're making it worse when you say that. Just say, oh, yeah, I'm going to do with Patricia. And if Craig is like, well, why was I invited? Like, I don't take it up with Patricia. Don't make, you know, just you keep it matters matter of fact. But but yeah, they are basically punishing Craig.

Yeah, and Shep's like, I don't think it's a big deal that Craig's not here. I mean, gosh, if Craig thinks it's a big deal, then maybe he should make more of an effort. Weren't you the one who just got dumped by the entire cast last season because you were such an asshole and such a disgusting pig in Vegas for like the 10th time that they couldn't even stand to be around you? What are you talking about? He needs to make more of an effort. Fuck off. And Whitney's just sitting there smiling like, yeah, they're dicks. These guys are such assholes.

But to be fair, Craig did break Patricia's chair. So she's like, never again. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial.

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We now we're just talking about that. When was the last time we saw Craig? Oh, well, he came over Easter and prior to that, not for like six or seven months. And I don't know. We don't like talk or text. Yeah. Well, how often do you see him often? He's like, well, when we podcast, which is basically twice a week and it's turned into business more than a friendship like like it used to be.

Could you imagine if I said that about you? That's crazy. Oh, yeah. I really only talk to him like the eight times a week that we do a show together. I mean, other than that, it's like my life. It's more than it's more than I've ever talked to anybody literally in my life. I can't imagine degrading it to be like, oh, we're not even friends. It's just only business. Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah, I they are. It's just so funny. They're just not they're not going to give Craig his moment. But to be fair, Craig is also very much about declaring that he's having his moment right now. So I can also imagine that being really exhausting.

I can, but they just keep shitting on him for things that should be impressive. Like, they should be things you should be proud of your friends for. But Pat's like, well, he's trying to be Martha Stewart. Well, God forbid you're talking to a table of people who don't do jack shit. Like, nothing. God forbid.

Forbidden. One of them tries to make something of themselves and is actually in a decent relationship for a few years in a row, which neither of these has accomplished either, including your child. And you guys are sitting here dissing him like he's the biggest loser at the table. These other guys are the ones here like fucking getting free dinner off some lady, you know? Yes. Their friend's mom still in their fucking 40s. Give me a break, man.

Shep is like, gosh, this isn't a knock on Craig because it's very smart of Craig, but he is kind of like just a figurehead. It's not like he's at the warehouse with a hard hat on. Jerry does literally everything for him. And we see flashbacks of Jerry doing everything. And Shep is like, it's just like, Craig, show up here, throw a pillow up in the sky and write a caption. He doesn't even write his own captions.

That's because he doesn't the fact that he could do this and that he doesn't have to do that stuff is even more impressive than the fact that he has someone doing this for him and he gets to just take in all the money. Hello, CEO. Is there in a hard hat? I mean, look, it's crazy because I think you're correct that it can get annoying. Craig can't get annoying with this whole like, oh, I think about his business like he does have annoying parts, but

The fact that they're using all of this stuff that he's accomplished as a bad thing. Like, look at Craig. He's just a figurehead selling pillows all the time and making money. You guys sound so fucking pathetic. What have you ever done? That's been successful. Shep name it, name it, name them. That definitely wasn't relationship. So then Whitney is like, I mean, why do you think he's like trying to insulate himself? Like curate his new image? Is this like better for his business? Literally? Yes.

Literally selling stuff on the internet and killing it. And you're like, wow, why is he not out there being problematic and being a monster and like lying all the time and being someone that no one wants to support? It's crazy to these guys that anybody would like enter their forties by not being wasted and fucking 20 year olds from bars on King street that they're using their like D-list celebrity to get.

They're like, what? Why isn't he still doing coke and fucking randos every night? What a loser.

Gosh, what's the point of getting success if you don't enjoy with people you're friends with? Because the people he is friends with are like begrudging his success and are always trying to tear him down. Have you not seen seasons one through nine of your show? Yeah, you literally just tore him down all last season for being his friend. And then you got so bad in Vegas that he had to put distance between you. Why are you making it sound like it's somebody else's fault? What a loser.

And when he's like, I prefer old Craig, he was far more interesting when he was drinking bourbon. Listen, I'm sure you're more interesting when I'm drinking bourbon, but that's not a cool thing to say about somebody else. Look, I'm fucking idiot. Madison's like, um, I mean, he is improving himself. It's not like he's doing anything bad. Like, are you numb? Knuckleheads?

listen to yourself. He's like, well, you can improve yourself. Just doesn't mean you have to be boring. You literally do nothing but shoot scenes with your mother. You fucking weirdo. What have you ever done? Interesting on this show, except fuck teenagers that you can later cast for five minutes of fame. You fucking weirdo. Boring. You were demoted to a friend of on your own show. So then, yeah,

Madison's like, well, maybe he can't be himself or who he is right now around y'all. He's like, well, what happened to the goofball self-deprecating Craig? That guy is gone. When he was the goofball self-deprecating Craig, you guys shat on him. Do you not remember going to Delaware to his home and ridiculing him to his face in front of his family the entire time? Yeah.

They just want someone they can punch down on, you know? Yeah. And so, and by the way, that guy is gone because you were a shitty friend, Shep. He, you didn't leave him. It's not like he just disappeared. He left you because you're a fucking disgusting, assaulting drunk. Okay.

So Shep's like, well, you know, the people just like who's Craig and sewing down South because of his old fallible self. But the current Craig is always hawking product. And it's because, and of course it's the woman's fault because pages is true business woman. So she ruined Craig. She brought Craig. She bought, she made Craig healthy and happy and successful. Fuck her. What?

Whatever happened to witch hunts? I know. Yeah, she's a pretty shrewd businesswoman. And they said to themselves, we have to be professionals and do this the right way. Well, God forbid.

god forbid you do something professional in the right way like why why is shep is literally arguing like you know what people wanted to buy pillows because they love craig's infallible his old fallible self yes you know every time craig would lie and do adderall and show up like cracked out on reunion i thought i want to buy a pillow from him no this is

It's like he's saying this stuff like it's a bad thing. Like it's bad that Craig met someone who has her shit together and he wants to level up his own life so that way he can be a better boyfriend to her. And he's like, oh gosh, God, I think the most important thing is just to be honest and human. And as long as you're those things, your image should take care of itself.

self i'm like that's the least honest and least human fuck are you saying this after you've lied for seasons and cheated on everybody you've ever been with consistently lied and then threw cans at a homeless woman and told her i like your hands is that that's your human nature you i don't think chef is one to talk about um image so well it's not his strong point or honesty or humanity the fuck is an awesome even talking about

So then Austin tries to puff up and he's like, well, I think it's rather interesting that other people feel this way. I didn't realize, I suppose that his absence has been noticeable. There are people hold up. I'm like, okay, relax, sir. You can put your ass cut away. Like you haven't been talking about this nonstop with everybody else on the cast. So then, um,

We go see Molly making her bed. And I think that's all we see of Molly. That's all we see. We don't even see her face. We just see her back making her bed. And then we see Vanita making, like, putting down pillows for Charles. And then she sweeps. And that's it for Vanita. It's so weird sometimes.

And then Shep is driving. So he calls up Austin and he's like, gosh, I was just at the gym and Craig walks in and he's all grumpy. And I was like, what are you doing today? And he's like, Austin's coming over and he's going to tell me all the shit that everybody's been talking about me. So Austin's like, oh God, I'm going to a fucking hornet's nest. It's insane right now.

And he's like, don't say anything to him about last night. I mean, listen, we had dinner. I mean, listen, it's got to be Madison that got him agitated, right? And he's like, yeah, it's certainly not my intention of going there today and saying, then he said this, and then he said this, and then she said this. It's like my own things I want to say. What are you so worried about? And we know you were going to go there to say, he said this, and she said this, and he said this, because that's all you do. The three of you, the biggest gossips on the show are these three guys.

Yeah. So he does. He goes over there and Craig's, you know, doing his garden, which does look amazing. His backyard does look amazing. Then Austin comes in. It's kind of awkward. And it's like, basically, I just wanted to come by because it was just fucking awkward without you there last night. Well, it felt weird. Oh, God.

I wanted to go swimming, but now I'm all wet. I, it feels weird not being invited. I don't get my feelings hurt too often. I'm like, you literally get your feelings hurt every episode, but that's fine. Did you just say I wasn't invited? Why I wasn't invited. I mean, uh,

Well, the combination of thinking you were out of town and also saying that she hadn't talked to Craig much, you know? And then the conversation switched to your absence. And he's like, wait, so you talked about my absence at a birthday party I wasn't invited to? That's crazy. Like, if you want to see me more, you have to invite me to your birthday dinner. So...

- Yeah, well, no, your absence when you are in town is what the conversation switched to, Craig. He's like, well, this is where I'm at. Am I missing something? I'm in my house. So believe it or not, after that entire scene,

where I was really very much team Craig over everything that everyone at the table was saying about him. I have to say in this scene, I start to pivot a little bit. I cannot even believe the words are coming out of my mouth. I'm a little team Austin in this scene. Cause I think ultimately in this scene, Austin is like, and he says it right here.

I miss my buddy. I mean, that's where I'm coming to you from. We talk and we do this, but I'm going to lunch and you're just like not on my call list. I don't think to call you anymore. If I'm going to get a beer, you're not on my phone list because your answer is normally like, oh, I'm gardening or something like that.

And Craig is like, well, when was the last time you invited me to lunch? And he's like, well, that's what I'm always saying, Craig, because it's always he's like, but that's a you thing. I'm not a mind reader. I don't know where this shit was going on. I thought we were good. Why don't we set up a weekly tea time?

But look, here's my thing. If somebody, as somebody who started drinking a lot less recently, you know, I still drink, I still have my mumps. I'm not totally sober, but I cleaned up my life a lot in the past year or two. And it's led to weirdness sometimes. Like my friends don't really know how to deal with it. They didn't know at first how to deal with it. They know better now, but.

At first they didn't know. And I didn't really know either, because frankly, if I'm not drinking and getting wasted with everybody, I don't want to go sit at a bar with them all night. And some people you're like, that's all we do. We go sit at a bar all night. We get shit faced. We do drugs, whatever. And if I'm not doing that anymore, then why do I want to be there? You don't want to be around a bunch of, and at,

it was hard to find other things to do you know or just be like now we're just having dinner not being shit-faced it's seven is that okay with you you know and we had to get to a place where you as an adult you just have to do that i can't be wasted every night i'm sorry i can be wasted some nights but i just can't do it anymore every night and it's hard to get through that but like a bunch of 40 year olds literally sitting around like you won't get wasted with me so now we can't hang out and be friends and now you're not going to be invited anywhere

grow the up i mean you children that's why everybody around them gets younger and younger as they get older and grosser and crustier you know yeah they're just surrounded by all these stupid influencer girls who need you know likes well i agree that like craig is in a much better place he's cleaned up what he used to enjoy for fun is no longer the same thing but i think also craig can't be mad at this you can't be like oh i wasn't invited but then

you can't be, you can't move on and find a new group and then get mad at people that you weren't included in the old thing. You know, it's like, well, it's a show that three male leads on and their purpose and Patricia is with Whitney. So she's obviously, they're obviously purposely excluding Craig to be dicks.

i mean this is their show for them to not invite craig to patricia's dinner with all the insider cast members there it is a horrible dickish move that's not cool that's like a blatant we're trying to push you out of this show kind of a move just because you've got yourself together so but also you know i can see that craig has been craig has clearly like not make himself not available

probably for good reason for very good reason he's not making himself available and then he's surprised that people are like well I guess we're going to start moving on without Craig because he doesn't want to hang out and then so then Craig gets upset and I'm like you kind of can't have it both ways and so here comes a guy it's just with them he was with them three days ago they showed me in this episode where he was just at lunch with them then they showed him just at the gym with them I mean what he is with them they're they're full of shit

Right. I mean, but I still think that if you have someone coming to you, like whether it's coming from, I think that if Austin is feeling like he's missing his friend, like he wants to spend time with his friend and then the friend is like, well, I'm like, I'm here. You can make plans with me. But then it's like, what? Every time I try to make plans with you, you're not there.

You basically are like, no, I don't want to do that. Or like, as we're, and he starts to say this thing right now, which is that like, we had a plan to play golf. And then the night before you're like, oh no, I'm going to, I'm going to garden instead. It's like, that's shitty. I'm sorry. I think that Craig, Craig has every right to find healthier friends and healthier activities. And Austin, like,

and Shep do undermine, but like Craig just, I just don't, I think Craig is really painting himself here. Like he's really innocent. Like what? Like, but no, Craig contributes to this toxic situation too with these friends.

Well, I think if it was like from how I'm looking at it, if it was Austin just saying, hey, Craig, here's how I feel about our friendship. That's one thing. But this is about Craig not being invited to Patricia's birthday party, which is a totally different thing. And Austin's making this like, well, you don't come at you don't come golfing with me. It's like, well, why am I being kicked out of this inner circle? Basically, what happened last season is Austin and Craig were like, fuck Shep. He can't treat everybody like this anymore. It's to the point where he's literally assaulting people in public.

He's making us all look terrible. We both have businesses that we want to protect. They totally turned on him at the reunion and were like, no, Shep, you can't act like this anymore. We're making a stand against you. And now Shep has turned it around with Whitney and Patricia, apparently, as their winning accomplices, who are making it now that this is all Craig's fault. The reason they weren't hanging out with Shep was Shep's being a fucking drunk, assaulting alcoholic.

part that was his fault but now they're this season they're making it sound like oh Craig's the one that's been no Austin you were not hanging out with Shep until last week or whenever you started shooting the show again because they even had that conversation at the beginning of this where Shep's like I want us to get back no one hangs out with me anymore and he's like okay we'll be friends again so then they kind of forgave him but now they've Shep has somehow managed to turn this into

it's all Craig's fault for being better, thinking he's better than us. When Shep is the fucking one who got cut off for being a drunk who keeps assaulting people every time they're in public. It's just, it's making me crazy. I think that like, I think it's not that Craig is innocent. It's just that Shep and Whitney are such pieces of shit.

Yeah, I mean, I think they've turned that part around. But I do think in terms of like around on Craig, but I also have to imagine like, yes, Craig is doing healthier things for himself. But I also imagine Craig is being much more annoying to be friends with. It's like everything has to be at his house.

Everything, it's like, gotta be on his schedule. And, like, he's not gonna return. And so he's making these healthy boundaries, which was probably better for him. But, like, on the other side of that healthy boundary is, like, an annoying thing to have to deal with it. And it's like, it feels like he's probably not checking in with them, because, again, it's part of his boundaries. And people are probably, like, frustrated and hurt. And I think that, like, Craig just sort of... You either make that boundary, and then when people say, like...

like, hey, we're going to do something without you. You just like, that's fine. I made a healthy boundary. I get it. Our friendships are going in different directions or you make an effort with people still. But like, you just can't have it both ways. And it was just a very strange thing for me to watch the scene and actually have weird empathy for Austin because I've never really done that before. And it was weird, I guess, because Austin was really coming from a place of like, I miss you. And Craig was coming from a place of like,

Like, he basically coming up, he's like, Austin just misses his drinking buddy. I'm like, yeah, but isn't that isn't that actually a big deal? It's might not be the healthy thing for Craig. But to be like, oh, Austin just misses his friend. It's like, yeah, exactly. That's exactly correct. And that's like, not nothing.

Well, I think that's an interesting, listen, that's an interesting argument. I could never, ever feel sorry for Austin. And I get what Craig is saying. I don't, I don't like it. He just misses me being way. I think there's something also like, he only likes me because I'm wasted with him, which I guess I sympathize with that because that's happened to me where it's like,

You don't like me unless I'm drunk ass Ronnie with you encouraging you to be drunk ass, whatever, whoever, you know? And if not, it's like, I'm worthless. Like I'm still sitting here and able to have a conversation. And Craig's like, I tell you to come over all the time. You guys don't want to do that. You want to go bang 20 year olds on fucking King street. You know, you don't want to do this. So go do what you want to do. It's not like I don't want to be your friends. I just don't want to be wasted in a bar with you. And I'm not, I'm worth more than just being some wasted guy in a bar to prop you up. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So I guess that's kind of how I'm taking what Craig says. Now, that said, obviously, Craig's fucking annoying. And I see what you're saying, you know, because Craig is annoying. And when they do that golf thing and he's cutting to the picture or cutting to the video of him like, well, here's how we're doing gardening. He doesn't even know anything about any of this stuff. Like when he was trying to pretend he was a food connoisseur a couple weeks ago and couldn't even open the fucking wine bottle, you know? And also, don't forget, like, on the flip side, and I don't...

I like, I'm not really trying to take Whitney's side at the, on the, at the very least, but you also have someone here who is on the show. Who's not willing to do anything unless it's like, you have to go over to his house. He doesn't want to hang out. And then all of a sudden, like, but as happy to use the show to promote his business. So like, I can see why those frustration hanging out with everybody all the time. I'm confused. Like what's Craig not like,

It seems like when it was when they were not shooting. I think that's what this stems from. Like when they were not shooting, Craig is just Whitney doesn't even live there when they're not shooting. Whitney live in California. Shep isn't ever there. Shep's constantly traveling. Shep's never in town. I mean, I think that I think that there must be there is Craig and Austin. And I think they do hang out. That's why I'm so confused by this whole.

Yeah, it's weird, but I have to say friendship breakups are always make the most compelling TV, like more so than relationship breakups because friendship breakups are very nuanced and there are complicated and there's a lot of gray areas and there's always good cases to be made on both sides. And I am totally into this, into this situation that's happening with Craig and Austin because I find it to be very fascinating. I think all your points that you've made have been like 100% valid. I also think the points that I've made are 100% valid and that's what makes these things interesting because like,

They're really, it's not just like a their fault, their fault. There's always like stuff happening that contributes to this total mess. Yeah.

Well, I just feel like they're coming after Craig constantly. They come after him every year for like being, first of all, they're coming at him for being a fucking loser and a compulsive liar and he can't keep a job and he's never going to have a career. Then they're making fun of him for his sewing and being a loser with that and always staying home and just working on a stupid sewing and getting a stupid house that's ugly and it's never clean. He never does the work on his house.

Then he gets his shit together and does get in a good relationship with a girl that they consider much better because they all hated Naomi. So then he gets in a better relationship and someone that they would all kind of respect. And he does get his shit together and they still hate him. It's like he can't. The guy never wins every season. He's their fucking punching bag. And meanwhile, they're both losers. Austin and Shep, they're both fucking losers. Well, that's why they're parents and don't do anything.

And then they kick Craig every single time he's down. It's just like Craig has his faults, but I'm not going to listen to it from those two jackasses, you know, especially the soldier Shep and loser fucking cheater Austin. I'm not, I don't, I don't feel shit for those two. Yeah. But then at the same time, Craig is like, well, he finally realizes his worth that he doesn't need to be the punching bag for these guys. Cause this is totally true. They have been all, they are crabs in a bucket trying to drag him down. So,

So I'm like, you realize your worth. So then why are you like, then move on? Why are you getting upset? But why should he quit? Well, because why should he just be okay? Like being pushed off the show because these losers have decided that

That he's going to be put like, it's just not, it's just not fair for them to one day decide, okay, you're not going to kiss our ass and you don't get to come to a main filming. You don't want to hang out with the guys on the show though. Then you, that's also like, why is that? Okay. Too. Like if you're on the show, he hasn't been refusing to hang out with the guys on the show. This was like a Patricia's event. This was like Patricia having her guys night and not inviting one of the lead cast members and then bringing the replacement gays on instead.

I mean, that's just like, that's just some, I think there's more going on behind the scenes. I think, I think it's more than there must've been something leading up to this season. You know, there, there's something where, uh,

I mean, maybe it's just jealousy. Maybe they're just- - I think they're saying what it is, don't you? They're saying flat out what it is, which is he's annoying now that he's successful. And we know that Craig is annoying. You see it. And it's the thing of it I keep bringing up, which is the winter house. I'm rich now. I don't have to clean. I think that's probably the attitude that they're talking about where he like is so big in his own mind

That he's just fucking obnoxious. And now it's all about his influencing and his, you know, I can see how that stuff would be. And Austin's saying, I just think that bringing it to a head like this with him, where it's just like, you're not invited to filming anymore. It's just, but you know, the thing is that like Austin saying that Craig is not, is not returning his calls anymore. And basically it's, it's what I'm actually getting the sense of is that maybe Craig is only, only shows up.

when he has like for filming for like that scene with the three of them at the top of the show like like if it's if he doesn't have to shoot a scene he's not going to talk to you and i think like i kind of get the sense that that is what they're butting up against and they're or at least austin is getting frustrated with and that's the other thing is and this is why i can't this is why it's so strange if this were shep

coming to craig's house and saying this stuff i'd be like well shep you were totally vile to him and same with whitney but like austin i mean austin and craig have their weird relationship but they are podcasts they do a podcast together and you know i don't know like there's something about austin going over there being like i miss my friend and craig being just totally just dismissive of it that i was like i was like that was shitty i thought that was really shitty of craig

I mean, look, I can see that side of it for sure. But here's where it gets me. He goes, yeah, but Craig, you want to hide out, not make the effort. And Craig says, yeah, but we record twice a week and we see each other at the gym. First of all, recording. I get that. That's your job. But that's also not nothing. That's literally them sitting there shooting the shit with each other. And then when you see each other, when you see each other at the gym, that's not work either. That's where you sit and you chat with your friends like that's. Mm hmm.

Any friend I've gone to the gym with, that's been our quality time where we go and we hang out and we talk to each other and we catch up. I've never gone to the gym with a friend where it's been like a work formal situation. So if someone came to me and was like, wow, so you record, you spend two to three hours a week talking to me and then like five days a week hanging out with me at the gym and that's not enough, I'd be like,

You're fucking needy and weird. Like what more do you need from me? But as a counterpoint, if I, Ooh, something's coming from Amazon. Sorry. I'm like a dog. I'm like squirrel. It, a counterpoint is if like we have a routine that we go to the gym and

and we do our podcasting and I was like, "Hey, Ronnie, let's go grab dinner or whatever." And you just were like, "No." It's like, I'm only allowed to see you in like in a work or gym setting, daytime maybe, or like really on your terms.

And like, maybe that's what Austin didn't articulate. And I got, I hate that I feel like I'm going out of my way to defend Austin. I don't know what this is about, but I can imagine it's like, what if it's Austin saying, I want to do other things. And Craig is like, no, I'm only slotting you into this thing where I can do a business with you and this thing, because we have this routine and that's it. That's all you get. And Austin's like, but we used to have a relationship that had different dynamics and we used to go to each other's houses and just hang out.

And, you know, Craig is like, well, I got all this now, you know, like my whole life is business now. That's fun for me. Making money, getting healthy and fucking my girlfriend. That's what I want to do. And if you're a real friend, you'd be happy for someone like that because I built a fucking huge pool and say you guys can come out whenever you want. You know, that's my my that my fun isn't at the bar anymore.

And that's true. He did buy this, but now they have to go schlep over to where, wherever the hell Craig is off in the suburbs. So like, I just, I feel like I, I think maybe where I'm, what I'm reacting to is that like all the points that you're making are,

Yeah, okay.

I mean, I agree with everything you're saying. I think I'm sure Craig is just annoying the hell out of everybody. My main sticking point is this is like a main shooting event and you're trying to push him out. And that's just not like I don't think he's done anything to warrant that, especially when Shep is there just being fucking vile, vile to the point where the whole cast has to take a step back. And Shep is still invited to spit food all over your face all night. So I just think that was shitty, mostly on Patricia and Whitney's part.

you know, most well, you know, never forget Craig is the one who tried not to invite Naomi to his birthday party. And then everyone pressured him and he finally did and put her in that. Well, that was his show that she was coming back onto after dating Whitney to get back on it, which was also another fucking, uh,

sticking point, which I still think is totally gross of Whitney. It's like, okay, you can come back on the show if you're dating me. It's like, where is HR on this show? But Craig didn't owe Naomi anything. He broke up with Naomi a long time ago. That's a different thing. Naomi wasn't just a lead character that was still on the show being pushed out.

Yeah, but then if he's going to have some sort of proprietary element, like it's quote unquote his show, then he has to also like do the things on his show. Well, you know, and not just be like, okay. And not just be like, oh, come over here. I think we just need to agree to disagree because it's like more of the same thing over and over. But I agree with what you're saying. I mean, I do see the annoying side of Craig. I'm just never, there's nothing you can ever say that's going to ever make me feel empathy for Austin. I won't do it. I know it's weird. I don't like be.

I was like, I was watching the scene. I was like, I can't believe I'm feeling this way. This is a never ever in years and years ever felt a shred of empathy for whatever, whatever argument Austin's ever making. Yeah. Well, so either way, that's good. I'm glad you're feeling things. I feel nothing. 2025 is a great year. Yeah. So fuck that guy. Fuck that guy forever.

Austin's like, I know I want to meet up with my buddy and like grab barbecue and talk about shit. Like watch him watch the match, whatever match that may be. And he's like, I don't want to go to the bar and watch the game anymore. I want to watch at my house or his house. He's like, but he won't. He won't even set foot. He said it. My foot in my house, like three times in my life. Like, what is that about? It's gross.

And so Craig is basically like, "Look, our friendship's never gonna look like it used to. And I would never tell you how to live your life." And he's like, "I'm not telling you how to live your life." And he's like, "Well, then what do you want from me? And I know you're not making a face at me 'cause I didn't come to your house and do this." And so Austin's like, "I get it. He's changed, but when you're changing, you're supposed to keep your closest friends the closest or whatever."

And so he's like, all right, well, you can either swim or leave. This is my life. And he leaves. And then Craig swims. Yeah, awesome.

And now the future of this trio of men is in dispute. I mean, they'll be fine. They'll all sleep. Oh, they're always, this is the same thing they do every year. One of them is always on the outs, you know, and they have to make that one suffer for the whole season. And this year it's Craig's turn, I guess, but, and next week, they'll probably settle, settle in together and say, yeah, I'm really sorry about that. No, I do treasure you. Blah, blah, blah. And here we are.

spending spending all this energy taking sides on a stupid thing and then they're gonna be the ones will be like friends next episode of course well and also this leads to whatever happens next year which is going to be single craig so that's a whole different thing because that's craig right back into the position of going out with his friends meeting people and kind of is he going to slide back into that or is he going to what's he going to do

I don't know. It'll be, I don't really believe that Craig is this reformed like guy either. You know, that whole scene where he was like, Oh,

Welcome to my pool. It was another scene at his pool. All the scenes were at his pool, which I guess is your point and Austin's point. But he was doing that scene where someone came over and he was cleaning up soda cans or whatever, beer cans. I guess it was his seltzer I read about later from all over the backyard when apparently they had had some party. And he's like, oh, I have a little cold. Want to get in the hot tub? I'm a little cold. I was like, okay, so you were partying and doing coke all night. So he's not completely...

this reformed angel, you know? So. - Yeah, I just always think there's more to the story. I just feel like Craig gets off Scott for you

And I'm like, don't they all though? Isn't this whole season Shep getting off scot-free? What has Shep had to do? Shep immediately came back like, oh gosh, everybody. I'm totally different. It's just me, sweet Shep dating a perfect beauty queen and never wanting anything else. Like totally behaving himself. And everyone's like, oh yeah, you know the real problem in this group? It's not the grab ass old lech who's like, we can't take in public because he's humiliating the entire cast and network.

It's Craig who has a job and a girlfriend now. Like, how do you do that? Like, he's magic. His manipulation is magical. Well, it's like a totally toxic situation. And that's why it doesn't really matter what side you're on because it's always going to swirl together. Like, both things swirl together and create the drama. Yeah. Yeah.

And, you know, that's again, friendship breakups. They're the best. They're the best to look at. And I guess the customary disclaimer, Ronnie and I are not mad at each other. But we're never hanging out outside of this podcast again. Ronnie, do you want to hang out tonight? No. Oh, hi. I'll fit on Shannon's bulldozer hat.

How dare you? How dare you? All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here with us. It is good to be back. Go get your tickets for the Golden Crappies and also our shows in San Francisco and San Diego coming up at the end of the month over at WatchWhatCrappens.com. Check out this video on Patreon. Join us next week for a two-part Traders cast breakdown over on Patreon. Plus...

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