#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
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Watch what happens, watch what happens, who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch what happens, watch what happens, who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Is, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello, Ben. How are you?

Oh, just fabulous. It's another below deck sailing yacht day. So we're going to be recapping that, which is a pretty good episode. We also have lots of exciting things coming down the pike for us. You may have heard our tour. The mounting hysteria tour is starting next week in San Francisco and San Diego. The time is running out for you to get tickets. So get your tickets at watch what happens.com. And then one week later,

It's the Golden Crappies live in New York City at the Town Hall, a prestigious, prestigious venue on Broadway. We are returning to Broadway for the Golden Crappies. It's going to be a big, wonderful show. Most of it is sold out, actually. So be sure to get your tickets. And then one week after that, we are going to Salt Lake City and also to Denver. And so it's just it's

It's going to be a crazy three weeks for us. Cannot wait to dive into it. Again, go to WatchWhatCrapHands.com to get tickets for all of those. And many other cities, we're just not boring you with the entire list. These are the pressing dates in our lives. Also, Patreon, patreon.com slash WatchWhatCrapHands. We are doing Traders recaps over there. We did episode three that came out yesterday.

So go check that out. It's a lot of division online. A lot of division. Different fan groups are quarreling with each other about different things. It's kind of funny. So if you're not watching The Traders, get with it. It's so good. I think that's basically it. And of course, Crap is on Demand. You can watch us. Hi. What's going on with you, Ronnie? Oh, nothing. You know, just plugging along. Just going through it. That's my meme I would say. I'm still here.

Everything's good. Just getting ready for the crappies, getting all these shiny things delivered to my house to wear, getting music ready, you know, and then watching Mabrovs. What more can you really ask for from life? I mean, the world is like quite literally burning down around us, but at the same time, we're having so much fun. So,

I don't know. It's a cluster of emotions, that's for sure. But guess what? I'll tell you where emotions are more understandable on Below Deck Sailing because Ben got one more hour of sleep than I did last night. And you know what? That's it. I'm done. I'm off this boat. I'm back to Putin. I'm going back to Putin. By the way, before we get into that, I forgot to mention that voting for round one of the crappies, round one ends tomorrow.

And then round two is going to start up again on Friday. Round two is where we get our finalized nominees. So if you want to make sure that your favorite gets to the round to do all your voting at watch crap is dot com. Sorry about that. Should mention that in the announcements.

Okay, well, come up with another opening then. Just kidding. That's what happens when you miss an hour. That's what happens when you get nine hours and I get eight hours. Okay, if I had one more hour of sleep, maybe I would have remembered on time. Ben had five drinks only last night. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. So many dings. My God, if there was a ding going off every time I had a damn French fry when I was promising not to eat one, I'd be fucking tonight as Joe over here.

Yeah. Tonight is Joe. Maybe I should go with tonight is Tim. I guess that would work better, right? Well, either way, we are back with Blowdeck sailing hot. So previously, the big cliffhanger is, will Cloyce be able to fill a cloche up with smoke in time? Yeah.

for these drag queens to eat dinner without losing their mind. And unfortunately, Lola, Lola who started off the charter very friendly has revealed herself to be like a nut to be a nightmare. - A useless cow. - A true nightmare. - A useless cow is what Lola. And let me tell you, she's not useless actually because I kind of love her.

And I love her because here's what I love tacky people who don't understand their tacky. And then they make everyone's life hell because they're tacky and ignorant. Kind of cracking me up how she's like, what is this? A cheese stick and ball form? It's called a fucking croquette. You classless wench. Like what is wrong with you? You know, I'm so embarrassed for her, but I'm also like, I love it.

Yeah. I guess this is just going to add fuel to the fire because what I was alluding to before with the traitors is that Drag Race fans are feuding with Housewives fans at the moment. Oh, hell no.

It's a big fight that's happening on Twitter. And so that's fair for a drag, drag race people to come for us. You do not kick off housewives first. What kind of drag queen is standing up for another drag queen? That's kicking, murdering housewives. That is disgusting behavior. Get it together over there. We need to support each other, not kill each other off. And that's absolutely ridiculous. Killing off all the fabulous women.

Yeah, I know. Listen, I agree. I agree. But right now, there's a big feud happening. And I think that also there's an issue with... I think the Challenge fans are also doing something because Wes had to...

He had to like lecture his fans and be like, challenge fans are the best fans in the world, but you have to relax because right now it's too much. It makes the challenge look bad. I was like, what is happening on Twitter? This is Game of Thrones happening out there with all their groups. They usually ever so classy. The challenge is looking bad right now.

But either way, this is just to say that like at a time when these two groups, you know, Drag Race and Housewives, Bravo fans are clashing. Here we are again with drag queens on Bravo. And like, I'm sorry to say this is not going to heal any wounds because Lola is awful. And I'm trying to bridge the gap here between our communities. But Lola is not going to help.

I like Lola. Listen, Lola's just doing drag queen things. You can't get a drag queen on a boat and then be like, don't be bitchy to people. Like, that's her thing. That's what she does. Like, she's on stage. She's going to be bitchy. The one I really have a problem with is anal for every answer. That fucking...

He's the shut up and go away. He is literally the worst. And he says anal 10 times in an episode. Like we get it. You like in your butthole. Okay. Like we don't need, we don't need it as a running joke and our whole, like in our entire fucking three arc episode arc or whatever we're doing here, people. Okay. Can that queen, but I think keep bitchy Lola, you know? Well, you know, who's my favorite Ellery. I'll spell her name. Isn't she the sister?

I don't know who she is. I think she is. And she's got a mouth like celery, like the most useless vegetable. I just feel so bad for her. I think she's somebody's sister, so they brought her on, and she's trying to go up against a drag queen. Ellery, go braid your hair.

But yet at the same time, I love how much Ellery gets under Lola's skin. Lola's like, oh, shut up, Ellery. She's like, I'm just saying this is how I felt about the night. Because Lola's being told off by a normie girl with bad hair. Like he is not having it. Yeah. Like an unfabulous girl named Ellery, one letter away from celery. And like he cannot deal with the fact that she's there. Seriously. He's like, you're in cotton. I'm not listening to you.

You haven't mentioned anal once on this entire trip. Anal! Okay, so we're worried about smoke under the, under Cloysis Clocious, which I think is a very good business name, actually. Cloysis Cloosh. Cloysis Cloosh. Cloysis Cloosh. Cloysis Cloosh. And then at the end of the day, you could say Cloicious Clocious Cloy, wait, Cloicious Cloy, Cloicious Clocious Cloy. Cloicious Clocious is closed. Cloicious Clocious is closed.

What sort of clothes do you wear to Cloyce's Cloches when it's closed? What do you wear? There's an answer here, I know it. A cloak? A sport. Shut up, Ellery! Come on, play the game. Ellery is like yoga pants. Oh my god, Ellery, you're so disgusting! Ellery, don't you understand the whole joke with Cloyce's Cloche? God!

Okay, so everyone's worried he can't get the little lighter lit. And, you know, it's very, very dramatic, you know, and Crois is like, well, you know, troubles, troubles ruin for Crois is close. Crois is close. She's about to be close. Get my cloak. So, um,

They luckily Lola has just had a fucking diva fit and left to do coke in the bathroom, which we all know is what she's doing because she never eats one damn bite of anything. That's why she's complaining. She's like, I'm not eating this because it's terrible. No, it's not. Your nose is eating more than everybody at this table and you fucking know. That's also why I like her because you know my ass would be following her down there. I hated that mozzarella stick too.

There's coke under Cloyce's cloche. So, um... Cloyce is like, oh man, like, the smoke thing, it worked for like seven plates. Come on, little buddy, you can do it. I mean, Jesus, can we get one smooth, perfect dinner service? What?

So, no, you can't. But Lola has run to the bathroom to do coke, allegedly by me. And then now there's one person missing from the table. So luckily, the empty one, the one without smoke, the smoke-free cloche gets pulled off. And it doesn't matter because there's not anybody there to be like, where's my smoke, bitch? So he lucked out on that one.

Yeah. And Lolo comes back to the table and Lolo's like, "Oh, food's here now. Love that." And so Cloyus is like, "Okay, you're back. Perfect. That was good timing." "Yeah, I was downstairs. It took so damn long. I had to do five bumps of cocaine just to wait for the smoke that's not even under my cloche." "Shut up, Ellery. I know you want to say something. I'm not in the mood."

"Okay, well for your main course this evening, you have pad-seared filet mignon and then a little peach and hickory smoke. Please enjoy!" And Lola's like, "Wow, this is really great. I was not here-" Oh no, Lola. "Wow, this is really great. I was not here for the cheese stick and a ball, but I'm here for this!" I don't- Honestly, I have to say, if I'm having steak,

Peach smoke is not really part of the experience that I want. Maybe it's because I'm not a huge fan of peaches. I will always remember the very first season of Hell's Kitchen, that show, and the finalist that season served up steaks with little rounds of peach on top. And I always thought that seemed so disgusting, but I think that it might actually be a thing, steak and peaches. I'm not sure. But who did this? Who came up with steak and peaches? I don't think this is right.

I don't know, but if you've seen it twice, that means that it's a thing, I guess. It only takes two times, or is it three times it takes to be a thing? But I'll tell you this. I think Cloyce knows his audience, and he's heard anal so many times that he's just serving the emoji for anal, which is a peach. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair, but also smoke. Yeah, so something that they can inhale. Hey, listen, you can't win them all.

No, you definitely can't. So Cloyce is talking about like, you know, well, it wasn't ideal that there was a malfunction and Daisy's like, well, they sound like they're happy, just like me. Can you hear how happy I am right now? And Cloyce is like, yeah, well, the alternative ends my career and possibly my life.

So Gary is telling Chase, what didn't you get you, bitch? And Chase is like, I'll be okay. I'm the best worker there is. I don't need naps. You know what I eat? Ours for breakfast. That's what I eat. And Gary's annoyed because he's being, you know, good little boy and trying not to take breaks. But this could endanger the boat. And Gary hates endangering the boat, especially by being fall down drunk, which he has been about 90% of this. Yes.

That's when this, you know, where accidents happen the most when you're suffering from fatigue. Sort of like the fatigue you get when you have four hours of sleep and had ten drinks in two hours right beforehand. He doesn't want to take breaks because he's Captain America. Blah, blah, blah.

It is a nice point and counterpoint that you have Chase, who's eager to have less sleep so he can do more work, versus Danny and Deanna, who are complaining and squabbling about eight hours versus nine hours of sleep. Which, by the way, I can't remember the last time I had that much sleep in one night.

I know, we're not even blaming like any boss for it because we are each other's boss, I guess. Yeah. We're blaming age, okay? You know who's the ultimate boss? Age. Age is like, you will not sleep now. Guess what you're going to do? You're going to stay awake all night wondering what would happen if Angela Lansbury lived right next door to you and you were accused of murder. Would this be the one that she couldn't get you off of? Like, would this be the one case where she couldn't get one of her neighbors off of?

Age. You know what kept me up last night is the fact that there's a, there's like an office next to our place and it's alarm recently has been going off usually in the middle of the night or at like 6 a.m. And it will go and it'll go boop.

for four minutes straight so that's what kept me up so in this case yes age has something to do with it but also a alarm from a building someone fixed that thing i'm going nuts can you call the cops on an alarm is that can i carry it out on that alarm well it's especially comforting when the whole city's on fire you yeah like we may not have alarms going off on my head you know it's difficult enough yeah i'm gonna look that up

I'm going to look that up if I can. Can you Karen out? If I can Karen out on someone else's. Yes, you can. You should. You should call every number in the book. That's another thing that age brings. You don't care anymore. Complain. Okay. False alarm complaints. Oh. Okay. So...

Danny is like, oh my God, today I was crazy. I was stuck in the laundry. Is she trying to punish me by putting me in here all day? Wait, is that Danny? No, that's Danny. Sorry. Today was crazy. I was stuck in the laundry. Is she trying to punish me by putting me in here all day? And Deanna's like, I try to understand both sides. You know, there's Putin, there's everybody else. Putin wins.

God, I feel bad for Dani getting punished by having to do her job description. So Dani is like, whatever. You say potato, I have you murdered for not saying potato. Whatever, Pete is kind of hot. To be honest, it's easier because she doesn't talk to me the whole day and it's actually kind of good. So she's kind of shooting herself in the foot.

Why? She's shooting herself in the foot because she's getting better performance out of you by just like forcing you to do work. And then she can focus on people who are not nattering brats. Yeah, she's really you're really showing her by her kicking you out of her eyesight. It's like a pimple being like popped and then being like, oh, my God, I sure showed them. No, you didn't. You're splattered all over the window, you idiot.

Are you leading a revolution down there? Why is this Daisy shooting herself in the foot? What is coming back to bite her about this step of having you...

make the beds is she trying to imply that maybe Daisy's gonna be stuck with shitty tablescapes or something like I don't understand what Danny is talking about here Danny doesn't even make any sense anymore she doesn't even try you know so then Deanna's like uh you know I don't like this because I feel like I'm in between Daisy and Danny no you're not because Daisy's not saying it's just Danny you're just in between Danny spewing bullshit everywhere at every turn

So then, meanwhile, upstairs at dinner, Mark, Mr. Anal, is like, so what's on the agenda for tomorrow? Let me guess. Anal! Okay, oh my god. Look at the way Ellery is handling her dinner roll. Disgusting. Who brought her? Oh, sorry. It was you. It was you. Detox. Well, tell your sister she's basic and she doesn't enjoy anal!

So Detox is like, oh my God. So Glenn, are you allowing all of the crew to come to the club with us? We're going to the club. We're going to the club.

And Glenn is like, well, not everybody, you know, we got a man in the boat. So caves aren't caves without a few bats in them. So, um, then we cut to Danny and chase flirting. Sadly, it's kind of a sad flirt. Although I will say we saw chase's wiener outline today. Oh my goodness. Holy moly. No wonder he's so popular on this show. She yes, man. Good Lord. The baby wants his arm back.

Great day in the morning. So, Danny's like, Chase is super fun and super positive. He's an open book, and that's the shit that I love. How would you know what an open book looks like? You're just shooting yourself in the foot, Ronnie, if you think I don't know what an open book looks like. It looks like a pair of shoes stacked on top of each other. So there, ha. Okay.

And she's like, yeah, open book. That's the part that I love. And the producer's like, love? Did you just say love? She goes, oh, come on. Not like I would say love. You know, like, you know, shut the fuck up. I'm not in love with him. Like, God, yeah, not yet. So now the guests go to bed. And then...

The crew wakes up the next day for charter and Gary's like, well, they seem to be having a fucking blast. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, yes, Gary. This is the fucking charter I needed in my life. Oh, yes, I know. I know it's a good spirit. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Just riding the high of having stopped drinking. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

So basically Daisy wants to have a really good charter because she fucked up the last or the last one was fucked up in general. So she's going to do her best and she's going to do that by having a drag show where all the guys are going to be in drag. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

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So people are waking up and everything and Daisy's telling Keith to do like a catwalk and introduce himself and he's like, I can slot drop. She's like, okay, all right. Well, I'm sure you can't, but that's cute of you to say that. He's like, no, I really can. I was in plays in high school.

So they're kind of flirting, I guess. Whatever. I guess. Gary takes it that way. He's like, oh my God, fuck. Now that Daisy's hooking up with Keith, I'm not liking it because jealousy creeps in when it's got something to do with Daisy and I don't like that side of me. I just want everyone to know I'm still in love with Daisy because she's unattainable and it'll make me look like a better person.

So dinner is set for 730 and now Chase is helping Gary with the tender. Chase, who did not take his break and might possibly be fatigued,

and may make a mistake now as a result so gary's like hey throw me that line bro why are you in the reverse don't do it with this bro he's like i'm good bro i'm putting it out of the gear bro it's like oh bro you know gary has the leadership skills of a fucking helicopter parent trust me i get it i'm like yeah he's the boss that's why right when he said you're fucking up right when he said his leadership skills of a fucking parent i was like he's gonna drop that shackle

You just see it coming. And Gary's like, don't lose the shackle because that's what we do the Tinder with. I know, Gary. Put a tie on it, a cable tie. I know, Gary. Cable tie on the shackle. Careful the shackle doesn't drop. God damn it, Gary. Bloop.

He drops it. Oh, by the way, I dropped the shackle. Oh, bleh. You fucking idiot. Blah, blah. This guy just doesn't listen. And if we don't have the shackle and the tender, we can't tow the tender. And that means that Dak can't drive the tender to the dock, which is going to be shit. Because I may have to do that, and I may be far away from my dearly beloved Daisy. Oh, blah, blah.

So he's doing the whole, we don't even have another shackle. We will have to call pot stores all over the continent to see if anybody has a shackle. But of course, he's got a fucking shackle, because of course you do. And if you didn't have a shackle, shame on you then, okay? What kind of one shackle ship is this? LAUGHTER

That's right. Come for the blow deck recap. Stay for this shackle shaming. So, but then Chase does, again, that's another self-serving defense of like, and this whole episode's about it because Gary will big time do the exact same thing later in the episode, which is no one wants to accept

That they have been a bad employee. So Chase is like, yeah, I dropped a shackle in the water. I make mistakes. I'm human. And he's trying to make me feel bad, even though Gary knows I didn't mean to do it. Gary just loves tearing me down. No, the point is you don't get a pass because it's like you feel bad about it.

And of course he knows it's a mistake. He doesn't think you intentionally meant to throw the shackle down to Davy Jones's locker. The point is that he was trying to tell you to be extra intentional about it. And you were cavalier about it on top of the fact that you didn't take your break last night. And now you might be a little sleepy, which is why you probably dropped the shackle to the bottom of the ocean. Sorry. Shackle shaming continues. Yeah.

Yeah. So then Glenn checks in with Daisy about who's going to go to the club. And she's like, well, it makes sense if the boys go because they're going to be in drag. They want to be a part of it. And, you know, just to make sure everyone knows they're straight, we can send me along because they're all in love with me. So he's like, well, that makes sense. I thought you were going to go with Gary. She's like, yeah, I'm going. So then...

Glenn's like, are you sure the girls are going to be okay? Who gives a fuck what the girls think? I'm so sick of these whiny ass fucking girls on this boat. I can't take it. And at least for a while I could take the Putin's Diana. Yeah. Yeah. Her. I could take her, but even she's the worst. And they were on. Watch what happens live. Did you see it?

- No, I couldn't, honestly, I could not sit there and listen to what these two had to say about anything. - Me neither, I didn't watch it either, but I read a lot of comments, 'cause I was like, no, I won't do that. But I read a lot of comments on it and it just says that they were doubling down the whole time on their behavior. - Of course they were. - So you know, they're still assholes. Even after watching yourself on TV, I can respect a good, listen, I watched myself on TV, it was a bad edit, you know, at least try that. But these girls were like, no, Daisy sucks.

you said also i'm glad that she did this to you because neither one of you deserve it yeah and also like daisy is like she's the star of the show first and foremost she ranks she's also your boss and she gets to take the she gets to go on the fun she gets to do the rewards that's that's what she gets and well that's all also the drag queens want to hang out with daisy not with diana and dodo bird over there definitely

They definitely don't want to hang out with Dani. No! You know Dani is the type that goes, "Guys, just love me!" I'm just like, they just think I'm so hilarious and she'll put on like little sparkles under her eyes and think she's like, fabulous, and then she'll be like, "I just love Dani Minogue." And it's like, okay, great, congratulations. And the guys are like, "That girl has taken every dick in front of us. We must stop her!"

Yeah, I think Daisy has every right to take this opportunity, and I'm glad she does. And those girls can just, like, suck it, okay? Because they are still getting eight hours of, like, an eight-hour break, which is a long time on a charter. So Glenn's like, well, will they be able to stick to their normal hours of rest? Because I remember when I was younger, I couldn't stick to my normal hours of rest. And they show the Afro picture again. Yeah.

Well, what are their normal hours of rest? Every hour is a moment of rest. All right. So then it goes to Danny, who's calling Cloisy Cloyce. And she's like, I've just been in laundry pretty much the whole day again. Hi, guess what? You're a stew on a boat. Yeah. What are you going to be mad at the snuggle bear for constantly being thrown in the dryer?

Yep, yep. And you told Daisy that she's not inspiring you. So as long as she's not, as long as she's not inspiring you, she's not going to try to inspire you. So congratulations. Welcome to the dungeon. So now, and Danny's just like fantasizing about how fun it would be if they all went to the club.

So now... While shit-talking Daisy. That's not how it works, ma'am. Okay, you need to kiss the little butt. All she does this entire episode is shit-talk Daisy, talk about what a bitch she is, what a terrible boss she is, and then she's mad she doesn't get to go. What are you...

- Yeah, you can't tell your boss, you know, I really don't think, you're just like really not inspiring me. And like, honestly, there's like no direction. And if we didn't have the direction, we like, like you don't give the direction and we have to do everything ourselves. And then you expect her to say, oh, okay, you know what I would love as a reward is for you to go to the club. And in fact, Danny probably thought that. Danny probably thought, you know, Daisy realized that she was being a bad supervisor to us. So as like compensation, she should have sent us to the club to like make things right.

That's probably what Danny thought. Well, you know, squeaky wheels. Everyone says squeaky wheel gets the grease. And you know my saying, squeaky wheel gets taken off the car and changed with a non-squeaky wheel. It gets a new shackle. Squeaky wheel has to clean the grease on this show. Yeah. So then, let's see. Gary is tattletailing on Keith because he's in bed. And she's like, Gary, stop it.

And then Gary's giving her a massage. And he's like, I've never seen Keith giving you a back massage. She's like, well, you've never seen Keith make my back break out in odd sores that can't be explained for months either. So...

What I'm learning is, as I told her, I think I'm better at knowing what I want in a partner. You know, there's Gary, who's like a fucking yo-yo, and I pick up on that, and then I become hysterical and then reactive. Have you ever seen two yo-yos get tangled up in their strings? It's really disgusting. It's fucking disgusting. And then you got Keith, who's... What's the opposite of a yo-yo? He's like...

Ground. He's just flat ground. And I like that. It's safe and secure and your yo-yo can just land on it and just stop yo-yoing. That's nice. I like that energy. Did anyone else just feel their boner go down as she was talking about Keith? Not my literal boner, but my like figurative boner, I guess. Cause she's just like, and then there's Keith. Safe, secure, low in sodium. Good for the heart. Yeah.

- It's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Keith needs to end up with fucking Ellery. Keith the arm talker. Let me tell you. Did you notice this week how he does that? - Yeah, that's funny. He does do that. I didn't notice it, but when you say it, I totally see it. - Oh. - Yeah, you know, sometimes you go into McDonald's and you want to order a Gary, you know, a nice Big Mac combo meal, fries, the lettuce and the secret sauce spilling off the buns, delicious. Or sometimes you just get a sad salad and that's Keith.

- A McDonald's salad. - I can't wait. Thin feels better than cake tastes or whatever they say. By the way, that's not true. - It's supposed to be good. It's supposed to be good for you. - By the way, thin does not feel better than cake tastes. I've been thin-ish. I've never been thin. I've been thin-ish and let me tell you cake is better, okay? Now, can I tie my shoes more when I'm thinner? Sure. Can I wear clothes from more than Old Navy online? Sure. Cake's still better.

Wasn't it like nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Is that what it was? Yes. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Yeah. Cake moss. That should be her name. I was always hoping that would happen to her, that one day cake moss would be like, fuck it. I'm so sorry for heroin chic, everybody. Every day on Instagram, I'm going to be eating a cake. Call me cake moss.

Cake Moss. That's a nice reinvention. I should do that. I should make a Cake Moss Instagram and then just start posting myself eating cake every day and model shots. I'm going to do it. That could be a drag persona. No, not drag cake. You know why I won't do drag, right? I will be beat up by other drag queens, not by straight people, not by homophobic people, by actual drag queens. They will drag me for filth.

Okay, that's not about me. It is about Cake Moss, so I'm writing that down. New Instagram. Cake Moss.

So Daisy is like, girls, I want to speak to you about this evening. So I know they've invited us to the club, but neither of you are going to go. And I'll explain why. You're both two immature brats. And if I bring one of you, the other one's going to complain. I don't want to hear it anymore. Also, you haven't been cleaning and Danny's annoying. So both of you are going to get nine hours of rest tonight. And that way you two will be well rested. And it's just the way it's kind of worked out. And I'm going to go to the club. And Dan is like, well, it's up to you. Well,

Well, the ball's a mess. I'm sorry, but hopefully I'll get it done real quick. And Danny's like, somebody get my fucking pumpkin because I'm Cinderella and Daisy is my evil stepmother. This bitch will prevent me from going to the ball. You were never invited to the ball. And let me tell you, the second you left your damn payless over there would be the last you saw of it because no prince would be showing up at the door trying to claim it.

Last time I checked, you were going to the ball, or at least you had your mouth around one in the guest room. So you've been getting your privileges, ma'am. Okay, let's black the horse.

Okay. As far as I can tell, Cinderella did not apply for the job of sweeping up ashes and then complain that she didn't like her job and want to go to the ball. Okay. Cinderella was in a shitty situation with a shitty stepmother who came in and fucked up her life. You actually applied to be Cinderella. You actually filled out an application and went through a process and said, I want to be Cinderella. I would like to clean up after people, please. And then you got, you got here and now you're wondering where your chariot is. There is no chariot. You did this to yourself.

Yeah. Stop stealing all the balls. So then Deanna's like, well, she's doing it on purpose because she's mad at Danny. And now it's affecting me. Also, you're boring. Okay. Drag queens don't want to hang out with you. I'm sorry. You seem like a fairly nice girl. 80% of the time. Them drag queens do not want you, girl. Those drag queens probably said, do not bring those girls. Don't do it.

There's no way that those drag queens want to hang out with Diana. Sorry. Like you're just not fun. You seem like Ronnie said, you're, you've seen like a very, very nice person. You're beautiful, but you're too much of an introvert for these drag queens. That's just the way it is. They've already got Ellery. Okay. Keith is talking about the plan. So they're making the drag show plan. You know, the guys are like, Oh my God, we have to wear wigs. It's so wacky. And, um,

The dinner's being planned and Cloyce is like, last night's dinner was absolutely terrible. So these charter guests have a grandiose personalities and I'm going to give them a meal to match truffles caviar that I'm going to do mushrooms on another thing that I'm going to do another fish with mushrooms. And then I'm going to do another fish with mushrooms. It's going to be nuts. Chef Cloyce is going to work, bitch. The category is cloches.

So, um, and then the guys start getting into their drag, which we've seen this a million times, like neon wigs, bad makeup, strange, uh,

I feel like they do this every single season on below deck sailing, right? They're all very bus tragic drag queens. And they do it in that way. That's like, we're still straight guys. You can tell, right? You know, where they don't fully commit. They're just like, let's get some neon wigs. In fact, I think they're the same neon wigs we see all the time. Do they just keep those now in the props? Yeah.

I think so, because I could swear we've seen these neon wigs before, especially on Gary. But this time, Glenn wears one, which is kind of funny. And he wears it for a good amount of the episode. So they're just joking about it and everything. And Keith is like, this is very nerve-wracking. I am so far out of my comfort zone right now. But at the end of the day, that's what life is all about. Out of your comfort zone, you're just wearing a wig. You're wearing a wig and...

And, like, you know, I guess it's the outfit or whatever. But, like, it's not like you've been commissioned to do brain surgery. You're still doing the same stuff you do every day. That's what life's all about. So Daisy's like, before we start dinner, we have a little surprise for you, drag queens. Without further ado, to emcee your fashion show is Princess Laquifa. Okay. Okay.

Why? He's like, "Here comes Princess Queef." Why? Why? I agree why, but this is, you know, it's drag humor, you know? So Keith comes out, Princess Queef comes out and does a dance. And then next up is- That's like a cheese stick in man form. I was like, okay, well that one makes more sense.

And then Davide is next, and it's Davideva. Davideva? Davideva? Davideva. Oh. And then Davideva is doing like a hula hoop dance, and they're like, oh, yes, come on. Elric could never. My drag queen name would be Gorgonzola. I don't know why. It's not really funny or anything. I just really like Gorgonzola.

what about cake pop cake cake moss cake moss you're right that would be cake moss thank you misguided so um uh then we have gary is gary line a queen so he comes in and he does this whole thing he does this like like legs like windmilling over the sideboard you know like he's he's done this before really i mean he's flung himself over tables and fallen down a lot right

Drag? Well, like seductive dance bullshit. I don't know. Wow. Chase comes out. He is Chase City Thundercock, which would... Oh, Chase City. I get it. His name is Chase. That's like Chase City. By the way, we didn't talk about the part where we got to see his wiener outline when he was putting on his dress. I just want to say again...

Okay, go ahead. I was like, am I seeing what I'm seeing right now? Was that even real? Or was that like one of the fake ones people use on Twitter? Well, I feel like on this show, if they're going to do like a fake wiener, they would literally put in like an object. And so this looked like, it looked veiny. It looked like a real. It was veiny. A real erectile function. Not dysfunction. Function.

It was a rectal function happening. Yeah. It was big. It was like, it was like, there was so much functions happening. Yeah. It was like, you could literally put a cocktail on that thing. Just like, it was like a shelf. Yeah. Cause it was like off to the side, you know? Yeah. It was like pointing to, it was like, I'm with stupid, you know, it was pointing to Danny. Danny. Oh,

Where was the shackle? So, then Chase does the whole thing. I mean, Chase looks terrible in drag because he's barely in drag. And he has all those... He actually has really bad tattoos. So, it just looks janky. He does. God bless his heart. But you know who do you think looked best? Probably Gary. Really? I think Keith looked the best. I think he looked adorable. He has a cute face.

Keith looked like What's-Her-Face used to love to twerk on Blowdike Med. Oh, Courtney? Courtney. Yeah, he was like a Courtney with slightly more personality. Yeah. How could you say that to me? Okay, now, you know, we've just gotten a drag show, so what do we get for dinner? Salad. Mixed green salad.

But it does have a Parmesan emulsion. And so Detox is like, oh, yes, I'm here for a Parmesan emulsion. And they all laugh because the drag queen said it. Yeah. And then there is, I have to say, the lobster crepe with truffle and whatever that cream sauce. It looked delicious and I wanted that. Yeah.

But I was also like, this is kind of heavy food before going to the club. Also for someone who just keeps screaming anal over and over again. So he's like, you have lobster crepe. I grated an ounce of truffle into the crowd like that. He's like, an ounce of truffle. Yeah. And so they love it. But then...

Well, first we get Dani complaining that she doesn't get to go to the club, which of course. And she's like, I wish I was going to the club. And of course, it sounds like the worst thing ever. She's like, I know, but I want to so badly. I just want to...

So then a guest, probably Ellery, is like, "Who's coming with us tonight?" "Well, I'm gonna go, Gary's gonna go, Chase is gonna go, and Keith is gonna come along. They've been really good sports all season, unlike my little brat girls. Hope you didn't hear this up down there in the bathroom that you're cleaning, girls." - So the guys have to dock the boat and drag. - That's funny. - It's funny that they do this. - The first thing that was served looked really good.

You know, it was like the, what's it, was it polenta or something with the mushroom or whatever? The crepe with the lobster. The lobster crepe or whatever. That looks delicious, but then he's serving fish again with more mushroom. Why? Why are you doing that? I missed the second fish. I missed, I missed, oh yeah, the branzino. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you doing that? With more mushroom? Yeah.

i would i would have zero complaints that to me sounds like an ideal lineup fish and mushroom followed by fish mushroom yes i love mushrooms i love fish it looked fine you know although mushroom and asparagus puree doesn't sound okay but you know what that's weird i'm gonna get off his ass because he made a crepe and that's like my favorite thing that's one of my favorite things um you know yotam otolenghi the uh famous cookbook writer

I made something, one of his dishes that called for making a mushroom ketchup. And can I tell you something? It was divine. I think mushroom ketchup should be a thing. I think we need to have mushroom ketchup. Mushroom ketchup? Yes. I don't even remember. Doesn't it just look like baby poo? It's a little bit like... It's almost the color of my... It's sort of the color of the hoodie I'm wearing, but more like a tan...

- It looks just like a tan, it was delicious. It was like all the fun of ketchup with just a smack of mushroom to it. - All the fun of ketchup. That would be your drag name. All the fun of ketchup. Or just mushroom ketchup. No, I like all the fun of ketchup. - All the fun of ketchup. - All the fun of ketchup.

Now, with more mushroom. Here at Ketchup, we've decided to change things up. So now, when you get ketchup, it's going to come with 100% more mushroom in it. Because that's just what's good for you.

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limited availability in select areas go to att.com slash hypergate to check eligibility coverage requires extenders at additional charge so then um clois is like they may think they've seen it all but i have to say this chef does in fact have a few tricks that you may not have seen yet i made your nose disappear well it's like where's my fucking nose bitch

I need to use that thing and not just for smelling. You know...

I also love that when he's like, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. He's sitting there doing this. He has a ball or something that he puts into his hand, and then he's doing this for five minutes, getting it tied. He's like, it's going to disappear. Just hold on. Keep the camera rolling. Just a little bit longer, and it's still there. Oh, whoops. No more ball. Well, I can't make anything disappear, so. Unless it's a cake. This is a crap and...

I want cake. Crap is on demand. Okay, crap is on demand thing. Oh my goodness, everyone, I've got a white circle in my hand, and oh my god, it's not there anymore! You weren't even watching, Ronnie. I'm sorry, I'm on Instacart ordering cake. You can do that. I literally did a magic trick for you, and you didn't even watch. I'm so sorry. I was like, oh, he's busy, I can get a cake. I don't have to.

Wait, you want to see a magic trick? Okay, watch this one. Okay, it's a circle. It's a circle. Okay. Sometimes in life, there's more than what it seems. I just made a double in size. Whoa. Oh, my God. Were you holding Chase's wiener earlier? That's amazing. Oh, made a double in size, but look, I can make it disappear. Close my hands and disappear. Sorry.

- Saw that one. But the other one was pretty good. The other one was pretty good. - Wait a second. Wait a second. Look, it's two circles or is it just one? - Wow, what a sleight of hand. - I'm annoying everyone who's only listening to the audio. They're like, "What the fuck has Ben doing right now on his camera?" - Also the people who have the video.

I'm just kidding. David Copperfield, watch out. David Copperfield. That would be my magician name. David Copperfield. Here he comes. Oh my God, there's David Copperfield. He's been cancelled for filling up cake. David Blaine. Or as I like to call him, David Blaine. Because he's mad he didn't get to go to the club also. Which makes no sense.

Okay, so the chefs, I mean the chefs, the guests are getting ready to... I'm sorry, what are you saying? Danny Blame. Instead of David Blaine, Danny Blaine. I'm like, you're still workshopping it. It's like this season on Below Deck Down Under, you're like...

David Blaine. There's only so many magicians. There's only so many magicians. It's like David Blaine, David Copperfield, and Criss Angel. And then after that, good luck. You're not famous enough. Isn't Carrot Slop a magician? Carrot Slop? I think he meant Mushroom Ketchup.

All the fun of ketchup. Okay, so everybody's getting ready to go out and the boys decide to just stay dressed how they are because why not? And then now they're going over plans for the next day. So Keith is like, what's the plan for departure and everything? And Glenn's like, the plan is... And Chase says, zero drinking, zero tolerance. Glenn's like, well, that would be normal policy on board. But if you're going to keep these guests entertained...

No one, none of this, two drinks. That's it, two drinks, and you guys are back on the boat at two o'clock, and anybody forfeiting the rules tonight will be forfeiting their share of nurses from the cave. What was that? I mean your, I mean the tip, the tip. Chase is like, well, I'm going to egg everyone to fuck up now. You guys can all stay till four in the morning. Okay.

So Daisy's like, well, this is late, and it'll... I'm sorry, one of the drag queens, I think it's detox, it's taking long to get ready. And so as a result, I think what this means is that the stews can't start cleaning the rooms because they're still waiting, which means they're going to be up a little bit later. So Daisy says, well, this is late, and it'll be too much to do, so Diana...

I'm sorry, just stay up and I'll work out the hours. And Diana's like, fine, but it's always me. And she's like, well, hopefully the cabins won't be too bad. She goes, oh, they are...

Putin will get you. Yeah. And, you know, she, Deanna does have a point in this that it is always her. Like, I mean, I guess. I hear her say that the most, so I guess I'm assuming that that's the truth. But who cares? It's your job. Do your fucking job. So Daisy's like, my sole purpose of my job as chief stew is to make sure the guests get what they want and when they want it. And that's what being a good host is.

So she's like, they think this is going to be fun, but I want to be in fucking bed. You know? Yeah. So Glenn's like, okay, days, you know, the drill, two drinks, two. I am. Don't expose the drag Queens to sunlight and don't feed them after midnight. And don't forget to give that really surly one, some cheese sticks, but don't get water on her.

So Danny, Lola, Lola, Lola's going to show back up at the boat in a little Corvette. She does kind of, she does kind of give those gremlin vibes that like really hot girl gremlin vibe.

with the block. Yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. She's like the lady gremlin, whatever, whatever the lady gremlin. I mean, she's very pretty Lola, but I could totally see her playing that gremlin role. Okay. So, um, Danny. So yeah. So now Danny and Deanna are talking and Danny's like, she told me to tell you to get a bit of me dying. And she goes, but then she changed her mind. And they're like, oh my God, let's kill her. But wait, I only get eight hours sleep. You get nine. Yeah.

It's that. It's the only eight hours and you're getting nine hours. Oh my goodness. So now they're all going to head out. The blessed few get to go out to the club and Daisy's like, "Thanks again, Detox, for bringing us all out with your fabulous friends and inviting us out."

So they, so, you know, of course they start drinking pretty quickly and pretty hard. So Gary and Daisy are on their second drink, like right away. Now here's what I don't understand. Like, here's how I would approach the situation. I know it's tempting, but like, why don't you guys just drink your drink slower in this situation? Like, given that you're on the clock.

Like, why don't you just like if you're because, you know, the guests are going to pressure you to drink more and more and more. So if you just drink very slowly, that should help. Right. Am I just being totally naive? I guess when the shots come around, there's no or you could, by the way, just be a professional and say, I can't because I'm still working. Yeah, I think they'll get away with it. I think Daisy is of the mindset that if she's not fall down drunk, she'll be fine.

And she knows what she can handle. Gary – and also I think Daisy gets off a lot lighter on this show because Gary's there. I think if she was drinking as hard as she was every night without Gary there, people would be like, something's wrong with Daisy. Like, Daisy's got an issue. But because Gary's there, he kind of overshadows her. And also she can hold her liquor better. Like, she's fine when they get back to the boat. She's not acting like an idiot. Yes, she gets –

She gets into uniform. She's attentive. She's like back on business. And I think that actually, if Gary had not been such a disaster, Glenn would have probably, he probably would not have asked them how many they've drunk, how many drinks they had, or he might've looked the other way and played dumb, you know? Right. But Gary, as usual,

So then the girls are pissed now. They're like, I don't give a fucking Tiana's like, I'm not standing up for her anymore. Who cares? Who needs you fucking standing up for her? The only reason you have to stand up for her is because you're working with fucking, you know, Satan over there. He's dissing her every two seconds. Because, yeah, like, who do you have to defend her to?

Like there's no Senate committee that you're testifying in front of. The only person who you have to discuss Daisy with is the bottle of mushroom ketchup over there named Danny. But I thought you liked the mushroom ketchup. You're right. She's garbage ketchup. She's peach ketchup.

So Deanna's like, I try to understand Daisy, but at this point she's doing shitty job managing time. Excuse me, ma'am. When you bitched last time, didn't Daisy end up saying, I'll do this. You go to bed because apparently you're not happy. And she's like, oh, she's being so passive aggressive. But Daisy still stayed up all night to do your job because you fucking complained. And I think that was Daisy's mistake was giving in even a little bit and being passive aggressive instead of just saying, this is your fucking job. Okay. Cry on your own time. Yeah.

Yeah, I think like that's one of the problems I think sometimes of being like a nice boss is that then people expect like if I mean, I don't want people to be terrible bosses and evil bosses. But I think one thing we see in the show, though, is if you're going to be a nice boss, there's like there's actually an art to it.

And if you are not, if you're not careful, I think the people who work under you forget that they work under you and they maybe think that they're like a peer or something like that. And sometimes they just need like a little slap on the wrist to be like, no, I'm

Like, all this stuff that you're complaining about is a privilege, and I've been nice to you, and you've gotten a lot of nice things, so just go take your eight hours of sleep and stop complaining about it. Yeah, stupid. So then Deanna's just complaining and complaining, and now she agrees with Danny, and then Danny's telling us, maybe I helped her, maybe I inspired her. I think Daisy's used to students that just shut up and take it. Actually, no, she's not. Yeah.

And that's why you're not really bothering her all that much, you know, and maybe say it again. I think she's used to stews that do their job.

Well, she's not really used to that either. I mean, we've been watching this show long enough. Daisy is used to a clusterfuck. And you are one. But you're like a blip on her radar. You're like a problem that's going to be gone very soon. You know? Yeah. You're not lucky enough to be like herpes that keeps coming back. You're like chlamydia. You're like an antibiotic shot away. You know? Bye. Yeah. Mosquito bite even. So the guests are now...

The guests are pressuring Daisy to keep... They're like, come on, keep drinking, keep drinking, come on. And Ellery's like, guys, I'm tired. Shut up, Ellery. So then Daisy's like, well, I don't know what to do. I feel like it's rude to turn down a drink. I'm here to serve and to cater. I'm like, you're here to serve and to cater, correct? And not to drink the serving, the catering that you're serving. Yeah, not imbibe. You didn't say imbibe.

And so now the drink counter is going off. She's had three drinks. Keith has had two. And Gary's had four after he just did a shot. And now it's time to go to the nightclub. And so now Danny and Deanna are still bitching. And back to the club. Chase is like, let's not fucking drink too much tonight, guys. This is huge wiener guy telling you this. Y'all have to listen to me. I'm picking on all of you. Just remember...

I will be receiving your tips because you're going to drink too much. And Gary's like, oh, Jay, shut up. You're the most boring motherfucker around. I'm going to get shit faced. Two drinks for me is like, no, they say I'm going to get, or I'm not going to get shit face. Read the way he says two drinks for me is like nothing. I'm like, um, do you remember how you made us sit through that really annoying scene of you drinking a glass of wine to celebrate how you stopped drinking? Um,

what happened to that energy? Because that is gone right now. Literally five minutes later. I love that HR probably had some talk with him and he's like, okay, from now on, you're only getting good boy clean Gary. And, you know, 10 minutes later, he's like, okay, you got that on an episode. Just watch that over and over again. So then he's like, I'm Carolina McQueen and I like to party. Right now, I'm not even Gary. Whatever happens is on her.

So now Gary's had six drinks. Daisy's had four. I was actually sad that Daisy had four because I was like, okay, maybe Daisy will have three. But I was like, oh, Daisy, you're also just going to go racing right past that, past that finish line. And,

even keith has had three so chase is like i'm i'm shitting a brick bro i mean we're still on charter we don't drop off till tomorrow so glenn meanwhile glenn is like back boring chase he's like well you know cloys cloys not chase you know there's like fucking mites living in our eyelashes and shit and there's stuff living in our gut that we can't live without he's like um

you know in certain animals they can't reproduce without the microbes it's crazy so then um you know chase is like oh god when are we gonna leave guys because it's a quarter to two so chase gets them all out of there they all leave uh good little boy chase does it and they do gary has now had 10 drinks

Now, let me also remind you all that when it said that Gary's had 10 drinks, I think it was somewhere around like 1.15, 1.20 when he hit the 10 drinks. They were still on the boat at 11 a.m. That means that he had like basically 10 drinks in about two hours. That's wild. Okay. 10 drinks in two hours. Maybe let's give him two and a half hours, even three hours. That's a lot in that span of time. I mean, been there.

I, maybe in college, in college, I didn't go to college. Okay. My college was my twenties and my thirties and half of my forties. But like, I think the school of life lasts a lot longer. Okay. It, it, it takes a lot longer to get through when it's free.

Like, in my college days, like, I swear to God, like, there were probably several nights where I had, like, 15 beers, for sure. But that was also spread over from, like, starting at 8, going to 2 in the morning, which is still, like, a lot of beers, but, like, over six hours. But I'm just saying, I'm not being judgy over the fact that, like, I can't believe you have that. It's like that you're on the job and you were told to have two drinks and instead you get 10 drinks in the span of two hours. You're right. It's just, like, a very heavy drinker. I...

I just can't go there with you. You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm support you on this path, Ben. I'm just not next to you. I'm behind you swerving.

I'm not, I'm not trying to be judgy to our heavy drinkers out there. I'm just being judgy to Gary. Who's being a heavy drinker on the clock when he's been. Yeah. No, no. I hear you. And on top of the fact that he just had his whole little scene where he's like, yeah, Gary, just, it's just fucking, it's just typical Gary. And he ruins it. He kind of ruins it for everybody, you know? And also he's a boss.

So he's, I think that if he had kind of stayed within and Keith is an adult, but Keith also is like, you know, oh, they're doing it. Why not have another couple of drinks? Obviously it'll be fine. So if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff too? If they've jumped off a cliff with fucking shots of Adderall and the Coke and Lola's Boosty, eh? Fuck yeah, I would.

So meanwhile, back on the boat, you know that Jupiter doesn't even have a solid surface. It's a gas giant. It's not a rocky planet, you know? Let me tell you something. Who else is a gas giant? Me, after some mushroom ketchup. Hey! Speaking of Jupiter, I told you, but I'm going to Jupiter, Florida this weekend for a 30-year reunion of all the apprentices that did that stuff at the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theater back in the day.

I cannot believe it. That was my college, actually. Speaking of college and Jupiter, that was mine. So wish me luck. Wow. Drops of Jupiter. I know my way around here. I am going to wish you luck, Ronnie. I hope you have a great time in Jupiter. Well, thank you.

So I like to call it Jupiter to make it sound a little classy. Yeah. Thank you. So that's going to be great. So now I'm back at the club. They are, it's time for them to go. So they are heading back to the boat and Glenn is waiting on the deck because Glenn knows Gary is going to be wasted. So he's not even, Glenn's like, I'm not going to lie in my bed and get woken up. I'm going to, I'm going to witness this because I know he's going to get wasted.

So they all come back and Glenn's like, so how was it? And Ellery's like, well, they only had two drinks, Glenn. Shut up, Ellery. You don't have a good poker face. She ruined it for everyone. Yeah, Ellery purposely throws them under the bus, which I thought was gross. I mean, I'm kind of on Lola's side against Ellery. I think Ellery's an asshole, too.

So then Glenn was like, great, Daisy, did you have fun? She goes, we did have fun. And she seems soberish, right? I'm sure she doesn't smell it as she passes right by him. And then Gary's like, do you want me to come to the boat? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I almost wore my shoes on the boat. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Gary is doing weird things on the end of that passerelle. He's like falling over and he's just like, he's doing that thing where he is the drunk person trying to pretend like he's sober and he's definitely not succeeding, you know? So he's like trying to walk sort of straight and normally, but he's also flailing at the same time. And he's like futzing with the shoe box. And he's like, I almost brought my shoes out. Shoe basket. I'll make it cold for you guys. I'm sober and attentive.

And Detox is like, Glenn, this is my daughter and I swear she's sober and she's going to bed. Which was also kind of a bust throw. But Gary, there's no hiding it with Gary. So Gary kind of is the bust rolling under the...

And so Gary is like, well, I'm just going to get a shoe basket and I'll get the jacuzzi cold for you guys. If our neighbor ever mows his lawn, mow your lawn. It's a hot tub. Oh,

Okay, Gary, you're going to go to bed. You want me to tell you stories about gas giants and mites in our eyelids? Good night, everyone. Good night. It was wonderful seeing you. Good night. Glad I only had two drinks with you all. Good night. Okay, Gary, you can go to sleep now. Good night. Detox.

He might have gotten away with it if he just went to bed. But instead, he goes down to bed and then climbs out an escape hatch or something. And he's like, time to get to me.

And so now he is wasted on deck. Yeah, and he's like sitting in the corner laughing to himself. He's making all these like... He's talking to himself. He's just like sitting there talking to himself. Yeah, yeah, it's true. He's like...

He's just like sitting there chain smoking, talking to himself. And the captain can see all this, you know? So meanwhile, Lola is talking shit to Daisy at the bar. And she's like, it's more of a pain in the ass. Oh no. Who's talking to? I think it was actually Detox. I think Detox said it.

who's more of a pain in the ass ellery or lola and he's like none of you are a pain in the ass none of you and lola's like you're more of a pain in the ass than i am no no one is everyone's great you and ellery are both wonderful wonderful guests and ellery goes yeah in the delusional world of lola it's like oh my god not the right one you're boring as fuck ellery

Lola versus Ellery. I could watch it all day. So then Gary is like, smoking, sitting, I'm rabid. He has like that weird laugh where he's... He sounds like a demon being slowly sucked out of a person, you know? I know.

Very exorcism-y. So Detox is like, "Well, don't be upset, Lola, when someone snaps back at you the way that you snapped at them. That's my note." And Lola's like, "Don't even! You're a little aggressor the entire time with me, too, so no, no, never mind. Everyone, everyone, do not mind Lola, okay?" So then Lola turns to Daisy and she's like, "I am so sick of it! I am so sick of her being a cut fitness to me!"

"Alright, tensions are high, but nobody's doing anything wrong." She's like, "Well, I just want to say that I've had a lovely time on this boat with y'all." Dave says, "Yes, you've been great, honestly. You've been great, except for your general attitude and persona and everything else about you." So Gary is still like, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

And Keith goes up to Gary and he's like, "Yeah, hey, what's going on? I saw Glenn and I was like, 'Fuck, we're gonna get in trouble.'" And Gary's like, "Oh, I ain't having a big... Oh my God, I reckon it's gonna be a good fucking trip, you guys. Let's manifest it." I'm so glad someone finally said that because he's like, "You know what? I hate a fucking bag. It's so difficult."

There's the pockets in here. It's time to fight for the women's rights to have pockets because this bag sucks. He can't find anything in there. He's just rifling through his purse trying to find another sticker. I have to say, over the summer when we went to Europe, I did actually use my very first ever man purse. I loved it. Yeah, we both had our little Euro bags. I had one too. I didn't love it as much.

I liked it because I just felt like, I don't know. It was like, I didn't have like pocket issues. I don't know. I can't remember what it was, but I felt liberated. There was something really cute in your little Merce. And you had a much nicer one than me. I feel like I had like one off the street that I bought in, you know, somewhere just for $10.

But you have like a fierce one. I mean, you went like shopping online for years and got a really nice one. It was $8 off of Amazon. Oh, really? It looks so nice. It was so nice. It had like a book bag clasp.

It was cute. Yeah, it was real cute. But you know what, though? Both of us have upgrades now, and I forgot to mention that. So I'm going to give you a bag. I have a bag upgrade? A man purse upgrade? You got a man purse upgrade that came in courtesy, I'll just say it, courtesy of the one and only Becky...

No way. Rebecca Minkoff gave us a mercy. Rebecca Minkoff gave us mercy. Oh my God. Okay. You have to show me tomorrow on this. When we record that, I'll show it on the show. It's a little teaser for our Roni recap. Rebecca Minkoff show off moment. Oh my God.

That's so cool. Okay, so Glenn is like guys he's working so Gary finish your cigarette and go to bed. He's like yeah, yeah, you need fun. Move your lawn. He's like go to bed Gary. I'll go when I'm ready. Go now. So Gary goes mad loss of respect bro. Seriously? Okay, Gary.

We're not one to talk. So Glenn, I think that Gary knows that he can't be fired basically because Gary, this is a sailboat. It's not just a regular boat where you can just hire anybody to come on. This is a sailing yacht. And I don't think that they have as many people in that workforce that could do what Gary does. And that's why he gets away with all this shit. He'll probably be back next season. What do you think?

I mean, I think that they I mean, I know you're just joking. He will probably they probably will replace him. But that could be a very I think that I'm not joking. I think they might keep him for next season. Wow. Well, either way, I do think that there's something to what you're saying, that he knows that it's just not simple to just get a sailing boat.

He also knows he's like a star of the show. He also has a relationship with Glenn. I think that he's feeling comfy. And I think he also is thinking that he's like famous and Bravo world. So I think it's going to his head and really out of all people, he's not the one to say mad loss of respect, bro.

So Glenn says, you know, I've worked for Gary for a long time. No, you don't have to put up the Afro photo. I haven't worked from that long ago. But, you know, for him to disappoint me in this way, it doesn't really make sense. Glenn starts doing this thing where he starts squinting his eyes a lot because he's so upset. He's like, I don't understand it. I mean, Gary knows better than this. And Gary needs to go the fuck to sleep right now. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, so Daisy, you know, he comes to bed and he's like, I'm lazy, I'm drunk. And she's like, go to bed, Gary. You are a bit drunk. And he's like, no, I'm not, I'm sober. So she's like, I believe that Gary wants to change and then he spirals again. He's just so self-destructive. It's incredibly painful to watch. Sober. Which is why I drink.

Yeah. I mean, I am very concerned about Gary's future as a human being. I think he's gone. I'm not, I think he's going down a terrible, terrible path. Like just as a human being who's alive, I think I don't like what he does to people, but like, this is, I don't like what he does to people, but as far as what he does to himself, I mean, I don't know. I pass dumpsters every day and I don't think about what's in them. I just keep driving, you know, wish them the best. Yeah. He's pushed me too far. I don't care. Yeah.

I mean, I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I just don't think about it. No, I think it's more or less like it's that thing where you're watching someone who has peaked in his life and he doesn't realize. You're on TV. You're like a star here. The sand is flowing through your fingers right now and he doesn't see it. It's very sad to me. Yeah. He's also a raging alcoholic. Like PK! Yeah.

raging 100 percent so now um the next morning Daisy compliments the girls on the boat and Deanna's like yeah it was crazy she's the cabins were she's yeah I want to sleep and she goes nearly there girl a few more days you can do it so by the way we did we did we didn't mention the fact that at one point when Deanna was cleaning she was like oh

They're still pooping the toilet. So one of them... Lola. I'm sure it was not Ellery. I'm telling you that was Lola. Lola definitely left a turd in that toilet. Purposely, you know? Purposely. She's an angry poop believer. Came out of my anal area. Yeah. So now it's breakfast time and Daisy knows she's in trouble. And Gary's like, I can see his itch, itch, itch, itch. So then Danny is...

basically daisy's radio radioing for everybody to change and danny's like why am i scared and diana's like i know how i am and i don't say things right away and the last time you had another extra hour she said oh i'm giving you an extra hour as well and she didn't and i still have haven't seen all that extra hour it didn't make sense bro fuck you then daisy well why don't you say something why don't you say hey i think you may have forgotten but i'm supposed to have an extra hour

So now they line up. Everyone goes off. All the guests leave except Detox is there with...

I guess, Detox's sister. And Detox, all of a sudden Detox has a new persona and Detox is like, it was such a pleasure. And I just want to say how important yesterday was for me being a visible queer person to have all of you rally behind us in such a fierce way. It was really spectacular. And I know there was some murmuring about some of our satisfaction with the meal, but that cut fitness isn't here right now. And let me tell you something. We all loved it. Okay. Fuck Lola LaCroix. Am I right, everyone? Honk that motherfucking horn, Glenn. All right.

Bon voyage, motherfuckers. And Glenn's like, all right, hold on a second. I got a special surprise for you. Damn it. He upstaged my upstage, my honk.

Okay, girls, still meeting. How do we feel? And Diana's, Diana, you look scarred. And Diana's like, yes, it was just a little like, I don't understand what happened. You know, to be honest, you know, I was the one waking up early and I went to bed the same time as Danny. And then I was the one given eight hours of sleep instead of nine. Eight full hours of sleep. What am I? A peasant working in sweatshop? This is ridiculous. It didn't make any sense to me.

I wish that Daisy had said, you know, I know that you got shafted on the hour, but girlfriend was downstairs all day in laundry while you got to serve and be in the sun. So I felt like it was only fair

You know, whatever. I wish she'd come up with something, but she still gets defensive, you know, but I think she handles it. I think she handles her emotions well, but you still see Daisy getting like, oh, really? Fair enough. But the days were crazy, and I'll make sure the next time that you get made up for it. She goes, but it's already the second time that it's happened, so it's, like, annoying. And I don't make the management of the hours. You are the one. And you still got eight hours. What are you doing?

Well, I really do put thought into it and I'm not here just to cater to you. She goes, but I am doing my job. Absolutely. So you think I'm not doing my job? She goes, well, next time, if you can just think a little bit, okay. I will sit down and take the time to think just to make sure you get the same exact hours as Donnie.

So she's like, oh my god, I got eight hours rest and she got nine? Listen to yourself, you know? She's like, I think I stand up for my girls. I look after them. And of course I'm getting pushback. That's a running pattern. It's exhausting. So then Keith checks in with her and she's like, I cannot stand those bitches. And he's like, yeah, they're whiny. And so he supports her. So she's like, oh my god, you're just like a saltine cracker. I can't wait to eat you while I crave something better. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So now, Glenn, Glenn or radio is for Daisy, Gary, Chase and Keith to come to the master cabin because it's time to speak to the principal. And John. OK, so last night you went out with the guests. You know, I set some ground rules and I could tell that you had more than two drinks. Gary's like, well, I had a couple of drinks. How many did you have? Five.

You being honest, Gary? How many did you have? Because Ellery gave me a number and it wasn't five. Oh, fucking Ellery. And now I see why Lola says about her. It makes all sense. So he's like, how many did I tell you to have? Two. Okay, Keith. Keith had missed a four or five. Daisy. Daisy words to this. I had two drinks and two shots and two bitches downstairs bitching about me the whole time.

So you had four drinks. Well, if you want to say there are four drinks, but I like to think of it as one alcoholic drink, another drink with alcohol and two shots that are made of alcohol. So I think, I don't know, maybe about one drink total. - So Chase and Chase is like, I had one beer. I'm a good boy. And he's like, that's it? One beer. And she's like, yeah, Chase is true. He's had one beer.

And so Glenn's like, well, I don't want to take your tip, but if I set a rule and I tell you the consequences and I don't follow through, that's a fucking free-for-all, isn't it? And Gary just starts freaking out. He's like, we didn't abuse the situation. I was not drunk last night. This is what's crazy. You know, and Gary's probably still drunk. Daisy knows right away. She goes, you're right. I broke the rules and I apologize. Like, that's all you have to say. She just like nips it in the bud. But Gary...

for some wild reason, decides he's actually going to try to take this to trial. - Idiot. And so Glenn's like, "Well, I'm up till 2 or 3 a.m. chasing you guys into bed." Gary's like, "Which I've never seen in my life before, Glenn." Like, he's mad at Glenn for making him go to bed.

This guy's unbelievable. Because you're not following the fucking rules. He goes, really? No, in all honesty, I was not fucked up last night. It's like, it doesn't matter whether you're fucked up or not. The rule was two drinks and you had 10 and now you're lying. You're now you're lying and saying you only have five and you're mad that you're getting called out on your lie on top of everything else. I mean, you're not getting called out on the lie, but you're lying and then acting like you were totally in the right. Like you have no leg to stand on in this situation. And you were completely fucked up. And so, um,

Gary is like, well, you can find just take 100% for me then. He's going to. That's the fucking point. Right? Yeah.

You don't get to prove it. Yeah. Glenn's like, I don't think your attitude's right. And he's like, so the guests are requesting us to drink. So then he goes, no, Gary, don't confuse things. You were not forced to drink. And he's like, yes. And he's like, no, you were not forced to drink. I did not say at any point that you have to drink. You knew the rules. You broke the fucking rules. And now guess what you're getting. Please go away. Please.

I mean, I think the way that Gary's acting, like I would fire him, you know, it's like he broke the rule, but then he's also the amount of attitude he's giving back to the captain, like the disrespect. I would a hundred percent fire him. Although I don't, I know that's not realistic, but you know, I think any other show would, but again, I think this one just can't.

Yeah, I mean, maybe Chase could be bosun. I don't know. It's dangerous. He has to know how to do the sails and fix the sails when they go off the rail and do all that stuff. And the motherfucker just dropped a shackle in the water. So they're not going to trust Chase to do it. Davide may be able to pick up some of the slack. A lot of times those engineers are kind of like...

They're like master of all trades a little bit. Yeah. I don't know. Either way, I thought Gary was being totally disrespectful. He he was the one who fucked up and then he lied about being fucked up. And then he's going to make it try to make it seem like Glenn is being the unreasonable one. I think it's totally, totally inappropriate. Yeah. Gross.

Disgusting. Anyway, that was fun. Thanks everyone for being here for this. Enjoy talking about it. Um, and, uh, be sure to get your tickets, uh, out of what to crap is.com. Be sure to vote for the crappies. Uh,

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Hey, y'all. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer, and let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me. Well, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspective. And honey, it's going to change your life. I

I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas. Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different.

If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby. This is Kiki Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby.

Hey, y'all. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me. Well, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspective. And honey, it's going to change your life.

I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas. Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci, where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different.

If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby.