#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
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Hello, and welcome to Watch Our Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Cherubic, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Cherubic. I like it. Good. How are you doing today?

Fantastic. We had such a wonderful weekend out in the mountain zone of the United States. It was really so tremendous. Thanks to everyone who came out to Salt Lake City and to Denver. And of course, thanks to Angie Kay, who joined us for our Salt Lake City recap. That was so fun. A dream come true. How are you doing? Good. I'm a little under the weather. I had some I had someone with the flu or something. But hey, at least it happened now and I'm not back home.

And I can curl up. So it's all good. Whoever gave it to me, you're a lovely person and it's a lovely illness. So, so far good. We've got a few days left, just four days left to stream the crappies. If you're so inclined to go do that, get the link over at watch out crappins.com. And that's where you'll also find ticket links for gas. Why next month's shows, we start again in March and we're going crazy in March. We're going to be as March number three, January, February, March. Okay. We're going to be in, um,

Ludlow Garage in Cincinnati, Ohio, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia. So go get your tickets now at WatchWhatCrapins.com. Also, if you want Traders Recaps, we got them over on our Patreon. So go over there. Okay? Yeah. March is going to be bananas, but we're going to be here for a few weeks, which is nice. But yeah, can't wait. Can't wait to go check out all those cities, including the Super Bowl winning Philadelphia. Yeah.

um so uh anywho today we are talking about a very important show i know the super bowl was a very important show for the world yesterday but an even more important show southern hospitality which continues just to be the best show ever um they're really i think they're having a breakthrough season i think

there was an article, was it in Rolling Stone or was it in Vanity Fair? But like there was some ink that was spilled by some legacy media about the show saying how basically hospitality. Yeah. It was just one of those articles that's like, Hey, you should be watching this show because it's picking up where Vanderpump rules left off.

And it makes me really excited. I mean, this has really been a tremendous season. And the two seasons that came before it were really good. But this season is just kind of out of control. Good. Great cast. Everyone is really entertaining. So I'm hoping new people start watching the show because it's kind of the future of Bravo right now. The future of Bravo. Yeah. That's a big statement.

- Well, 'cause there are still people in their 20s, right? Like all our shows about 20 year olds, they're now all in their late 30s and 40s. And you know, it's, we need to get fresh blood. - I think of things as like an apocalypse movie, you know? 'Cause I've watched so many apocalypse TV shows where you always have to be prepared for the world to end. And God knows looking around the past few years, it could happen at any moment.

These are the people leading you in the apocalypse. Think about that. Okay. Wouldn't you need some canned corn or, you know, when people start like just clubbing the old people and stealing their stuff, it's Maddie.

Yeah. Oh, fucking L. So let's get into it. I think there was something I wanted to bring up at the top of the show. I cannot remember it for the life of me. So let's dive into it. Season three, episode six. I'm completely, I'm completely Dayquil stoned. So good luck. Great. No, I'm down for it.

Cause I didn't measure it in the tiny cup. I just swig it, you know? So I drank like three swigs and then I looked at the cup and I was like, what, what's that thing for? And I think it's to measure it. So I think I'm, I think I'm tripping. I can see why they stop you from buying that stuff. It trips you out. Well, let us know if you have a come to Jesus moment like Grace Lilly, because we want to be here for it. Bob Marley. Yeah. Bob Marley and Jesus.

All right, so let's get into it. We see a sign of the apocalypse, the Ravenel Bridge and Charleston. And Maddie's driving around, you know, talking on her phone like the world has ended and she doesn't give a fuck if she runs people over. She's just holding her phone, which is on speakerphone. But I like this cast because no one has CarPlay yet. You know, it's like back to simpler times. Yeah, yeah, they...

that they're just sticking a cassette into their stereo with like a wire coming out of it. So Matt is like, oh my God, like what the fuck? I lost sleep last night. Like the whole cheating thing. And then TJ's on the phone being like, I know. Because then we see a flashback of everyone talking about like the latest scandal about Will, which was Austin.

decided to come to the, you know, Austin's been here this entire time and he's done nothing. But now all of a sudden he's inserted some, some rumor in where he last, last episode, he's like, yeah, I know a couple, a couple of people that go to law school with Will. And I was, I was told straight up that he hard cheated on Emily. Yeah. It was a hard cheat and he fucked someone at a party. Yeah. It was a hard, hard cheating in a bathroom. Will fucks a lot of people in bathrooms. Yeah. It's very daylight style.

Yeah, I know. I mean, come on, bro. I mean, it kind of is. So he's been fucking in bathrooms at parties and stuff. And also we learned that Austin's kind of a dick in this episode, which I was sad because, you know, you can usually put any kind of personality on a silent person. And when they're kind of hot and lift logs, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and just give them a good personality. Nope, his sucks.

And then when we hear why he sucks, it's even worse. So we'll get to that later, but you know, just stay, just stay tight in your chair. You're going to learn that this guy sucks. We should have known from the mustache. And if you're sitting there with some man who's like, Hey, wait a minute. How dare you? I got a mustache. We're looking at you this way too. Okay. If you don't want to be looked at like a douche bag, shave that shit. Cause you could tell that's the sign of douche. Listen,

You can lift logs, you can have a mustache, but you can't lift logs and have a mustache. Okay. Like the writing was on the wall. The guy was a dick. Yeah. The writing was on the log.

- Threatening someone. Yes, so we go back to Maddie's car, she's gossiping still, and she's like, "It's just like dark as fuck that people are like talking again around town about what he's doing behind her back." I'm like, "People, it's you. You're the one who's actively talking behind his back." As you should be, by the way. - So then we see a flashback montage of people talking about Will.

And we see my favorite character, Siobhan. She's just like, I just heard that Will was saying that she's like boring. She's like anorexic. He hates her body. She smells. She's like a rolled up booger in the shape of a face, but you can't really figure out what the face is. I hate her. I want Siobhan. Can we just follow Siobhan? I know. I really like Siobhan. Did she get invited? I don't think she made it to Vegas, right? She didn't get on the cast trip, huh?

Wow, that's rough. That's rough. So then justice for Siobhan and justice for Cloris Leachman too, who deserves to be on that trip. Cloris Leachman has put in some solid years on this show in the background and she needs to be on the cast trip at this point. Yeah, what the hell? That's age shaming. I think you guys need to bring the rundown train too. I mean, that was the character in Starlight Express. Remember the rundown train? It was like, I'm a train that don't run very well anymore. I don't. That's that lady, Cloris Leachman. They need to bring her on.

I want to know. Yeah, well, I was stuck in the bathroom. Guess who had to clean that fucking bathroom? Me. Why didn't anybody feel bad for me?

Two concepts I guarantee are not present at Republic Bar and Grill, Starlight and Express. I guarantee it takes a very long time to get a drink and there's no Starlight. So Mia, and for those who don't know who Cloris Leachman is, we just encourage you to go back and look at past episodes and you will see there is a Cloris Leachman in a blonde wig waitress at Republic who just sort of lingers in the sides of the show. And like once you realize that she's there, you can never not see her and she's the best.

Hey guys, time to do the sign. Fucking idiots gonna spell shit back 'cause I'm gonna watch it. Back in my day, we knew how to do a sign with some class. They're sending this stuff out there with numbers that don't even look straight. - So now we're still in flashbacks of just people talking about Will. So we come back, it's a lot of flashbacks. 'Cause there's a lot of rumors. And here, just yesterday on the show,

They, uh, they're talking about the rumors and Brad is like, he hooked up with some chick. And then Austin goes, yeah, she said that he fucked her in a bathroom. And then Maddie goes another bathroom, another bathroom. So yeah, that's kind of his thing. The bathroom.

Yeah. I mean, I get it. It's easy. It's quick. Just be done with it. You don't have to clean the sheets. But it's disgusting, guys. Stop that. Other people are going in there. The bathroom is to go pee-pee and to do coke. It's not for your spermatozoa, sir.

So then we come back to the present and Maddie is still talking to TJ and he's like, well, the first instinct is obviously like tell everybody, but like, you know, this is all hearsay. So I don't really know what I do. I already told my vacuum. So whatever my vacuum does with it is up to her.

Right. I mean, it's really important that we don't go to either of them without facts, especially Emmy. Yeah, because I sent her a text last night and we see the text, which was basically, love you, miss you. Just so you know, I'm always here for you. Wanted to give you some space and also maybe a hot dog if you want. It will cost you $4. But like I said at work, like I'd love to talk to you at some point, like hand heart emoji. Yeah. Show me there's a really heartfelt emoji.

- Yeah, three hot dogs. Let's go out to the movies and have ourselves a snack. - And we wrote back, "Before we have a conversation, you need to talk to Will one on one. By the way, I'm so happy. Thanks for asking." - "Everything's great. Nothing is wrong. I already made five charcuterie platters this morning." So then TJ is like, "I just, I don't want to talk to Will, especially like right now."

So TJ explains that he hasn't heard from Will at all since the lake house and that he has heard that Will is specifically upset at TJ.

Oh, blame the gay guy. Listen, Bradley was just as culpable. Blame him too, you know? Yeah. So then back to the present. We're in Maddie's car and TJ's like, I'm upset that they're mad, but I didn't do anything wrong this time. I don't think. Did I? God, maybe I did. I don't know. Should I just apologize? And she's like, yeah. Like, I mean, like all these people are involving myself, but like, what the fuck are we supposed to do? That girl has all her eggs in one basket. Eggs are so expensive right now. Stop putting them in baskets. Yeah.

yeah i mean like all these people are involving themselves in my relationship like when really it's like no your boyfriend made your relationship everyone else's business and keeps on talking about it to like strangers and like co-workers but i do think that she puts yeah the eggs in the basket which as we already established is like so rude in these times in this economy he like kind of like knows exactly what to say and get out of certain situations and like it just like kind of is just like what it's like to have i know what's kind of like to have like a man who only tells you what you want to hear like a

Kinda just like kind of gives me kinda like the heebie jeebies kinda. I want a man who just tells me what I want to hear. Like, why is that such a terrible criticism? I'm sick of men telling me not what I want to hear. Okay. Like here's the truth, Ronnie. It's just not going to work. No lie to me. I want, I want to lie. I want you're the hottest. You're the cutest. You're the bestest. That's all I want to fucking hear from a man. Okay. Lie to me. What do I care? I don't need honesty in dating.

This is why the escorting industry is a very legitimate enterprise. It's, you know, because sometimes you just, you just don't, you just want to hear, you know, it's like, we will pay you to tell us what we want to hear. And what's so wrong with that once in a while, you know? Not a damn thing. That's why I always pretend I'm married to my waiter, like whoever my waiter is for the day. They're like, can I help you? Yes, have a seat.

My mom was mean to me when I was young. Oh, you were right. You know, that's all I need to hear. Bring me a side of butter. We're good. The waiter's like, I have to stop asking so many open-ended questions. There's a rot. There's been a rise in waiters asking very specific questions lately.

- No more, how are you? It's like, how is your French toast, Donald, who I am not dating? - I like that that made it to the news. And now this just in, there has been some concern over avian flu. No, waiter's asking more specific questions. - Okay, so Maddie's like, "Emmy is trying to convince herself that our relationship is perfect and I have to accept that Emmy wants us for herself and if she's happy, then like, kudos."

So then we go back to Maddie's car and she's still driving recklessly. And she goes, by the way, I just want to make it clear as motherfucking day to her that she's not alone. And I want her to know that I care for her and support her. I'm here for her. And that's why I want to invite her to Vegas. The most... I just...

I am here for you forever. And to prove it, come to Vegas with me. Come to Vegas. Yeah, to prove I support your relationship, come to Vegas where no one cheats. Yeah, come to Sin City. But I think we have, before we say anything about the cheating stuff, we have to have the facts. Yeah, except for now. Settle down, Kathy Bates. This isn't Matlock, okay? There's enough circumstantial stuff that you can bring it to Matt, to Emmy.

- Yeah, but now she doesn't know that this latest rumor is on camera and you guys are still bringing it on camera and talking shit. Now I don't think that they're in the wrong here, but yeah, what are you gonna do, hire a PI? - Yeah. - So upbeat music, here we go. ♪ I just need you to be mine, be mine ♪ ♪ Tell me baby, baby that you're mine ♪ We're at Brad's house and his brother's over. And I like that our note taker Chandler says,

The brother, Sean, is on the couch. Open concept layout, of course. Damn, Chandler. Chandler's like, I'm over this open concept. Yeah, I'm at it. I'm sick of it. I'm saying something. Why doesn't Brad have rooms already? Okay. So Brad's asking his brother if he has any advice. And Sean is like, learn to leave the table when you're up so you don't leave down. Oh, God. Yeah, duh. I don't know.

Oh, you don't know what that means. When you're winning, leave the table. That's not how gambling works, okay? Here's why gambling sucks. Because you sit down and you win $10. And then all your friends start going, walk away, Ronnie. Walk away. You won $10. I don't want $10. I want that pink fucking convertible Mercedes in the front that you have to win the progressive for. You got to get the three Betty Boops or whatever. I'm not happy with $10. I want it all.

You want more. You want more from this life. I was so confused by what Sean said because I had not fully moved my brain over to Vegas mode. So I was thinking he was talking about going to dinner. So learn to leave the table when you're up so you don't leave down. And I was like, I don't understand. What is this supposed to mean? That's good old-fashioned gambling, baby. We then go over to Lake's crumbling apartment.

with the roof that is literally sagging in and she's picking out her stuff and she's packing in front of her adorable gray cat. I feel like we haven't really spent enough time appreciating this super, super cute cat. I don't know if the cat has a name, but like I would say this is...

There are not a lot of cats on Bravo. Bravo is definitely a dog network. They always highlight the dogs. But this is probably my favorite cat since Captain Gizmo. But also I think it's the only cat since Captain... Is it Captain Gizmo? Is that Naomi's cat? Yeah. Or just Gizmo? Great cat. Great, great cat. I think this cat is probably named Shelter because that's where she got it. Lake's family is very on the nose.

So then she's packing and then we go to Maddie's and they're packing for Vegas. And he's like, we got to pack for three nights, right? You pack everything. And it's like, you're stressing me out, Joe. Jeez, God. I'm trying to figure out a specific crop top here. And then she blows Joe's brain.

by opening up a suitcase and she has, for storage purposes, nested another suitcase within the suitcase. And he's like, "Oh my God, this is crazy. "This is like a Russian doll, Jesus." You know, he probably spent like at least a solid three hours considering how like Maddie did that. How she got a suitcase in a suitcase? - A suitcase in a suitcase? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Then we go to Emmy's and she's packing

And Will's like, what do people even wear in Vegas? That's crazy. And she's like, I don't even want to go. I mean, it's going to be a thing, though. Like, I love Maddie. She's teaching, so I'm so excited to support her. But if anyone says one thing about my happy life, I swear to God, I swear to fucking God, Will. She's just, like, beating her face with her makeup. Yeah. Yeah.

I also like that Maddie, Emmy, who doesn't know what people wear to Vegas, decides ultimately on a dress that's like blue, then copper, then blue, then copper. But each color area is like a landscape. It's like sky and then canyon and then sky and then canyon. It was just not a triumph, I have to say. It's not a triumph.

So Emmy tells us, I'm still like so pissed with everyone for what happened at the lake house. And then we get to see for like the 10th time, a shot of this interaction where they basically like, he's like, we've heard this stuff about Welsh. And she's like, he is not cheating. Relax, relax. Do not get aggravated. I am leaving. Do not follow me. Well, some of you can follow me. If you don't follow me, I'm going to be pissed. Damn.

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Okay, so she's just yelling. She has her eyeliner running down her face. Okay, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.

And so Emmy's like, but this trip is about Maddie and I want to be there for her because she's always been there for me. Always been there for me. Except for last year when you weren't there for her because you were coming after her boyfriend for being a low-life cheat and you were correct and she's correct too. So what are you going to do? I just can't imagine fighting this hard over Will.

When there's a will, there's a way. So to fight over him. So Emmy's like, Will's like, well, should I bring a suit? And I was like, no, I'm so happy you could go. Otherwise I might not be able to survive this trip. So then we go to Will saying, my main motivator in going to Vegas is to make sure that Emmy has like a real friend there and someone that has her back.

And also maybe when she's passed out, I can, you know, find someone on the casino floor. One thing that I've heard about Las Vegas is they've got great bathrooms. So can't wait to try them. They actually do. By the way, they do. I'll tell you one thing.

If the moment strikes, those bathrooms at the Bellagio on the casino floor, it's perfect. It's perfect, everyone. Have you set stuff in the Bellagio bathroom? No, but I've taken a dump there. I'm trying to say it. Oh, my God. It was really lovely. I was trying to be discreet about it, Ronnie, but you forced my hand. We're talking about fucking in bathrooms. And, of course, you bring your own personal Idaho into it, which is pooping.

Yeah, well, of course. Well, I'm trying to provide a public service announcement, which is that they have the softest, most lovely tissue paper that I've ever encountered in my life. Wow. That's a free endorsement.

So we go back to Emmy's apartment and he puts on one of her sun hats. He's like, aren't I wacky? I'm wearing a sun hat. She goes, oh my God, Will, take it off. Take it off, Will. Take it off right now. Take it off, Will. Take it off. What the hell? Why does she get so scared of the sun hat? Because the rumor is that Will fucked a girl in a sun hat.

I just made that up. So I didn't understand why she got so mad about the sun. She really lost her mind. I think because she's just so on the edge, like she's just holding on. She's white and knuckling her ability to hold on to this image that they everything is fine. That like the idea that he might want to wear a sun hat, which would be like frowned upon by his like circle of lawyer friends. She just can't even deal with that.

So now everyone's leaving Charleston and they're flying and run the airplane and, and all, all the gang is there and they're happy and they land and they're like, they're just having the best time. They're taking photos in the, in the airport at like one of those things. That's like what goes on in Vegas days in Vegas. Yeah.

And Michael's, Michael's is of course very serious. And he's like, although I'm really upset with Emmy, that's work stuff, but we're in Vegas now. And the last thing I want to be thinking about is her write up. Instead, I want to be thinking about what sort of coffees TJ is going to ambush me with. I just am not ready for it yet. Not ready. And then we get to see my favorite flashback, which is, um, sorry, but,

No call, no show, right out. Sorry. Sick. No call, no show. As long as Will doesn't wear sun hats. As long as Will doesn't wear sun hats. So then we go to baggage claim and she's like, where's my 60 pound bag? Where is it?

And they're like, "Ha ha, it's probably 170." So then we goof around the airport and they kind of avoid talking about the Will cheating rumors to Emmy, you know? And it's really hard. They're like, "Oh my God, look, they have a Cinnabon cheated on Emmy here. I love that place, it smells so good."

So they're getting into their cars. And so one car has Austin, Brad, Lake, and Molly. And Austin is like, wow, how the fuck did I end up in a situationship two days before Vegas? And like, no one, I don't think really cares. But Lake is like, um, you said that you had a girlfriend. And that's like not a situationship. That's a relationship. Doesn't Mirrors Lake always seem like she is stoned out of her head every time she talks?

Yeah, Lake kind of goes between personalities, and I'm not really sure which one is the real one yet. But I mean, I kind of enjoy all of them. But I'm really into Lake. Yeah, I feel like the first two episodes, they didn't really give us... Lake was just there, and we didn't understand. But then once they finally decided to make Lake a proper character, no, I really... I think she's a great addition.

You like her cats you're in. Just say it. Just say it. Give me a cat. I'm sold. I'm an easy sell. That's the way to my life. Just a cat. Just a cat. So Austin's like, I rekindled my relationship with my ex a couple of days ago. We dated for six months. We broke up on New Year's Eve 2023, but I never stopped thinking about her. Every time I pick up a log, I think, God, I miss you.

In our recent rekindling, no pun intended, because I'm a log person, there's been some beautiful, unspoken, mutual energy. And then we get the screen going like, uh-oh, it's a hippie. He's like, it's trans-dimensional, just otherworldly kind of love.

You dumped her on New Year's. Fuck off. Piece of shit. Yeah, this is also how you know he's a huge dick because he's talking about trans-dimensional, unspoken love. That's just the sort of faux deep insight that assholes have when they try to make themselves seem like they have more substance than they actually do.

So people who say things like we have a trans dimensional kind of love, they don't wear deodorant. I'm telling you that right now. No. And they also only have one dimension. Yeah.

They have a trans dimension relationship because they only have one dimension. So it's really easy to be trans across it, right? Like there's no other dimensions that need to be crossed. You're just on the one. So it's really easy to be trans dimensional. So Maddie, Joe, the other car is the rest, the cast. It's like the varsity cast members. And so Grace Lilly is back with us and she's like, I'm going to get a good night's sleep for sure because I have to perform.

before and tomorrow. I'm on tour and I was up late partying with Bob Marley and Jesus in my dreams last night.

And she was like, "Oh my God, holy shit, Maddie Weiss is on the side of the Duke building guys. Everybody look, it's Maddie Weiss." And then we see Maddie's picture up there and she's like, "It's me, Maddie Weiss, on top of a building." And it's really cool, but you know, it's one of those digital things they can kind of change in and out, which I'm not dissing her for, that's how they do things now. But it's cool to see her. But I, it was cracking up because this weekend I saw Emmy posting pictures of her sick body in a bikini in front of that same building.

And it was like a Verizon ad or something. I was like, did you seriously just wait for Maddie's picture to go away? And now you're posting in front of a Verizon ad? Come on, bro.

I know. I was also just like, I was like cracking up at like how excited they were for Maddie. But then I also was realistically, I had to check myself because we actually, we are doing our first ever Vegas show in May. And I just know that the moment I see just like the smallest image of us on some LCD screen off the strip on the side of the road, I'll be like, Ronnie, stop the car. I'm taking a photo. I was going to say, I don't think they do that off strip.

Sorry. Better luck booking next time. Maybe we can just pay them, like people who get engaged, you know? We can just be like, put our faces up there. I want to be on the side of the Zook. Okay, guess what? We're going to move our venue to the Zook building, everyone. We should. Ben and Ronnie play the Zook. Zook. We'll play Gatsby's. This is the best day bar I've ever seen in my life.

Oh my God. Zook. Zook. What is Zook, by the way? It's Zook. It's like the Italian brother of Zeus. It's like the Italian little brother of Zeus who never gets any attention. It's just like the royalty-free version of Shoop. It's like the Shoop that's slightly different. It's like Zook, Zooka, Zook, Zooka, Zook, Zooka, Zooka, Zooka, Zook. It sounds just close enough.

- My girlfriend is on the side of a fucking building. I don't even know whether to call my mom or my, like, I don't know where to call her mom or my mom first, or like that who taught me how to do that chicken parm, Nana. I'm gonna call Nana. I'm calling Nana first. So then Maddie's like, oh my God. I'm like, holy shit. Like the whole city can see my face. - In other news, tourism has declined, has dropped 3% in Vegas for some strange reason.

- Oh God, at least she wasn't on the sphere. - The sphere has started bouncing itself against the Zook building. - Oh my God, the sphere has gone crazy. - The sphere has released a statement that says, "Whoa, you need to settle down there a little bit." - So then in the other car, Molly's like, "Vegas has officially started, ding dong, ding dong, I'm a wedding planner." And Lake's like, "Yeah, I'm ready to start some shit. Let's catch Will cheating."

Shouldn't be too hard since apparently everyone catches them cheating all the time. And Molly goes, girl, I'm just kidding. She's like, no, girl, I'm saying like, I want to go do that, too. So now Emmy is in the car with the varsity car and her phone rings and it's Will. And he's like, oh, my God, there's like standstill traffic.

He may not be able to make it to Vegas, guys. Yeah, and everyone's like, oh, how convenient. Will's going to have a whole weekend to bang his other girlfriend, you know? And Joe's like, I mean, what does that mean? Did someone tip him off to the rumor? Do you not want to come now? So Emmy's like, oh, my God, I'm alone with the Wolves. If Will can't make it, I'm going back to Charleston. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without Will. This is, like, insane right now. What am I supposed to do without Will? I got to do this. Yeah.

High five. So they all go to check in. Emmy is like spiraling. She's telling the producer that Will missed his flight. She's like losing her mind. She's saying she's losing her mind because she doesn't want to be alone with the cast. But I think we all know she's losing her mind because she knows Will is planning to have an afternoon delight before he comes to Vegas. So then...

She's like, I just have social anxiety every time I'm left with this group on a trip. And meanwhile, the hotel receptionist, this pretty lady, she's just like making typical receptionist chatter of like, is this your first time here? You know, and Brad's like, hey, well, actually, it's like my third. I've been I've been around, but I don't know at all. He's like basically trying to flirt with her. And she's like, well, you can go to Dre's for fun. And he's like, Dre's, if I want to shake my ass.

She's like, absolutely. If you want to shake your ass, Dre's is the place. Wow. I was like, wow, you've really got game. I love when guys think that they have game because the person who's supposed to be nice to your reception is nice to you. I know. Yeah, she's into me. I'm like, yeah, they're basically just very well put together go-go dancers. They will sell you the fantasy. Oh my god, that was such a funny joke. Hope you enjoy your stay.

And let me tell you why they have tickets for places that they give you for free. Because those things suck. Okay? So when they're like, oh, you know what you should go see? Rich Little. He does 90 voices. You don't want to see that. You know what I mean? No offense, Rich Little. Rich Little's at home like, wait a minute. I say, I say. Matt Rondle. What's the name of the guy who has the little dragon?

You know what I'm talking about? The little, he's like a little puppet dragon puppet. It's like, or like there's the guy who has the puppet name like Madam or something. Oh, okay. That's like from Sesame Street. I just remember Rich Little because I remember my parents coming back from Vegas and being like, Ronnie, there's a guy named Rich Little. He does 80 voices. It's incredible. I've never seen anything like it. I mean, you think your community theater is good. Wait till you see Rich Little. I was like, oh, shut up. Okay. So, um, then... Is it Jeff? Jeff.

That's Jeff Dunham or Jeff Durham, Ron Lucas and Scorch. I don't know. People know if you ever get to, if they ever give you a free ticket to a show, don't go. It's not good. Yeah. It's like topless Elaine Boosler doing like, Hey, you know, how's my husband saying he doesn't drink the milk. Um, now hold on a second. Now don't bring it. Not Boosler's milk joke.

If you're bringing Elaine Boosler into it, now I will go see her. I will see Elaine Boosler, I will see my Paula Poundstone, and I will see my Rita Rudner. I will protect them at all costs. Okay. All right. Well, I'll just little it up. So then Brad is basically just trying to make Lake jealous. He's like, yeah, isn't she beautiful? I just flirted with her. And Lake's like, I'm sad. So then Molly's like, yeah, I knew you were flirting it up with your eyes. And he goes, yeah, she can have my children.

How old is Brad? Also, I'd like to make the case that he's too old for Lake. I would like him to leave Lake alone, please. Stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. So Brad is basically like, I'm in Vegas. I'm going to have fun. Now, didn't he do this last year when they went? Am I incorrect? Miami, yeah.

When he went to Miami, he did the same thing where he was sort of like flirting with what's her face, Lucia. And then he like, then he flirted with another woman right in front of Lucia's face. So this is kind of his, he actually kind of has that like fucked up kind of negging thing. Like this is very much like right out of the game, you know, out of whatever the pickup artist name guy was mystery. So I'm just saying like,

We're on to you, Brad. We see you. So Lake is basically like, no, you don't get to friend zone me. I friend zone you. Son. So then back to present, we're at the Luxor, which is hilarious. That's where they are? The Luxor? I guess. I didn't think they were at the Luxor. I thought they'd be at the Zook. Is the Zook part of the Luxor? I thought they were at Resorts World, which I don't even know what Resorts World is. I just thought that's where they were.

I don't know, but was Circus Circus all booked up? Was the Golden Nugget packed for the weekend? Yeah, the Luxor smells like diapers. That's what it smells like. Okay, so they're like, oh my god, our rooms are amazing! Which literally nobody ever says at the Luxor, so it was nice to hear it. There is a first time for everything. And then Joe's like, this looks bigger than any apartment I have in Toronto. You'd think. Yeah.

Well, because there's no leaks coming from the ceiling. There's no like army of ants crawling around the walls. I would say it is a little different, yes. - Yeah, and then TJ's like, "Oh my God, the pool looks like a penis." And it does. It looks like a big kind of twisty, turning penis. And so they're gossiping about Will conveniently missing his flight. And Michael's just like, "Oh my God." And he was like in the car going crazy.

And then we flash back to Emmy, just like pulling that little piece of her hair. Like, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Everything's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be fine. Everything's gonna be fine. - She is like climbing Rapunzel's hair to save her and not getting anywhere. Just constant tugging.

So Molly is like, you know, I'm not Emmy's biggest fan and I'm still trying to really get our rivalry off the ground this season. I feel like no one's really paying attention to it, but I do feel for her. And then we cut to Brad and he's like, yeah, the whole rumor situation, this is gonna be interesting. I don't believe that whole thing with Austin. And then we see Austin, flashback to Austin telling his rumor to everyone. But then TJ says, well, I think he's afraid to share because whoever told him, he doesn't want to get in trouble.

And then TJ is saying he doesn't, he doesn't say that he's not saying he doesn't believe it, but he also feels like there's more to it. And so now TJ has a conspiracy. He says, so Austin just rekindled with his ex-girlfriend and Austin's ex-girlfriend's brother just graduated from the same law school that Will is going to. Ooh, I love a gay-tective. You go. Yeah. He's like, well, he's connected to that girl. That girl's connected to this guy. They're all in law school.

So he figures it out immediately. And then, so the producer's like, so Austin, was it the girl you used to date that told you Will is cheating? And he's like, uh, that's a good question. I'm not really sure how to talk about this. It's like a trans-dimensional thing. Literally, he could have had the easiest swerve. Like, no. Yeah, just say no. Just say no, someone else. He's like, aw.

So TJ's like, "I think that Austin heard these things from his ex-girlfriend and does not want to repeat it, that he heard it from her, because he's afraid it will sabotage their newfound relationship." Which sounds about right. So then Michael is talking about how he sent Preston, his new love, a picture of the bathtub. And Preston's like, "Oh my god, girl, I'm on my way over there. El-me-di-a-la." And he's like, "Yeah, things are going amazing with Preston. He's my boyfriend. He just doesn't know it yet."

Wow. I'm surprised. I have to say, I really am surprised. So then Lake is asking how far they've gone. Have they gone first base, second base, or third base, or whatever? And he's like, define the bases. And so she's trying to be like, yeah, first base is kissing, and second base is touching paninis and things like that. He's like, let's keep it at second. I have a question. Which base is providing an unexpected coffee? Is that like first base?

What base is almost shitting myself because someone gave me an unasked for coffee? I think that's like a home run, right? Yeah. Gay bases are different. First base is kissing. Second base is making out. Third base is anal. Fourth base is learning the other person's name. Precisely.

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So then Emmy is FaceTiming with Will.

And he's like, I'm on my flight. She's like, oh my God, thank God, thank God. Because I think we all thought Will was not going to come to this trip. We thought he was going to take the chance to have a free weekend to basically be unsupervised and get drunk and make out with girls.

Yeah, so then Maddie and Joe were talking about them and just like only the whole little thing like I don't have any proof They've seen on her but like I don't want to be like let's have a fun weekend Let's be best friends with like our nose cheating. You know, man. It's like oh my god You so you're saying you want to hash it out? So you like you can like not be uncomfortable anymore. He's like, yeah, I just wanna know the truth So yeah, I want to do another room sick. Okay. I don't really know what you're talking about right now Go take more pictures of me on the zoo

So now everyone's getting ready for dinner. And then Brad comes into his room and she's just like, oh, my God, Brad, walk into the center of the room. I'm the only one in the room here with you. Oh, wait. And then surprise, Mia pops out from behind the curtain. And it's like, oh, my God, Mia's here. And she's basically like, yes, I'm back. I lost. And now I can eat cheeseburgers again.

Yeah. So they're all excited that Mia's there and TJ's like, "Austin, super excited to see you." She's like, "Are you being sarcastic?" "Yeah, because at the lake he said, 'Mia, fuck that bitch.'" Which I don't think he said. And Brad just goes, "Oh, I mean along those lines, kind of." And then we see the flashback, Austin saying, "I think she's gross." Which isn't great, but it's not calling her, it's not saying, "Fuck that bitch, come on now."

And she says, I know Austin solely from one dinner I had at the restaurant he worked at on King Street. And listen, I can be a bitch sometimes, but I was never a bitch to him ever. Like if I knew he was going to call me a bitch, I would have been a bitch to him. I mean, why waste it?

So then Mia is basically like, okay, I'm gonna get ready. So now everyone is slow motion going into the casino, walking past the cobwebs of the Luxor. And then they enter the Zouk nightclub because they're gonna do like a soundcheck. And Maddie's like, oh my God, this is the nicest dayclub I have ever played at. I'm like, what?

The previous nicest one was like the Papa John's on King Street. So like, stop acting like you've been playing at these really swanky places. Yeah. And Brad's like, "Hey, Grace Lilly, have you performed here? Have you performed live before?" She's like, "Um, I mean, I've been alive. But this is more than I can say for Bob Marley and he's still performing, so don't tell me what I can and can't do."

Yeah. And they're like, "So are you nervous before you give a live performance?" And she's like, "Um, champagne helps me all the time, obviously. Champagne and hula hooping." Ayahuasca too. Have you ever done ayahuasca and then performed? It's just great.

So Grace is like, now they're all at the restaurant and Grace is like, "Hey TJ, tell me what's going on with the wieners." Which I feel like is this the first time that Grace has ever talked to TJ? I feel like they've never interacted before. So TJ is like, "Well, honestly, I've been so stressed out. I mean, hot dogs, it's really hard. I mean, there's like a bun, there's a hot dog, you have to put them together. It's just been three weeks of stress."

Yeah. It's like a tightrope. Yeah. Wieners can be confusing, but they always come through. Okay? So then he's like, yeah, next week I'm launching Sir Wieners. And before we left Vegas, I got done everything I potentially needed to get done. I got Wieners. And that's pretty much it.

And I got buns. I'm still trying to figure out how to get the wieners and the buns, but I think we're going to work... It'll work out. I just have to pray to God that we can figure out this operation. Now, meat-to-bun ratio? Hopefully it'll come to me. Meat-to-bun ratio. Meat-to-bun ratio. It's a really complicated dish. So Grace Lilly's like, Oh, by the way, I'm a vegetarian pescatarian, so I can't have any hot dogs. And he's like, No, there's a vegetarian dog. She's like, Oh, for me? Ronnie, question...

As the resident, mainly vegetarian, but a little dip into pescatarianism, what is the state of vegetarian hot dogs? What do you mean, what's the state? Are they good? I don't really like fake meat. I'm not a big fake meat person. So I'll just eat the bone. Okay. I don't like fake meats. I think they're weird. Okay. Because I don't think I've actually ever had a vegetarian hot dog. And I wanted to know, like...

I feel like probably there was a time where they were really bad. But I feel like vegan and vegetarian technology has really improved. And I just wanted to know if the hot dogs have followed suit. Well, it's improved in that they can make something just as creepy and processed as the regular food. And I'm like, what's the point? I don't want to eat that. It still looks like a rubber. I mean, I have had one. I think I had one last Fourth of July at my cousin's house. And it wasn't gross or anything. But I don't know. I'm not that kind of person who's like, God, you know what? I really miss wieners.

Yeah. You know what? I have to replace a wiener. I'm always in it for the bread. So it's easy for me to be vegetarian. I'm really just in it for the bread and the potato. One of the craziest things is that there was a place here. I don't think it still exists, but it was at the farmer's market here in LA. And their whole thing was they're like, we're going to serve for our vegetarian hot dog. We're going to serve a carrot and season it like a hot dog. And they were so proud. Oh, yeah. I've had that.

Did it taste like a hot dog? I do that sometimes. Yeah, you basically roast the carrot and you use Worcestershire and stuff like that. No, I mean, it tastes like a carrot in a hot dog. Because to me, I'm like, that just feels condescending. Like, well, we know you don't eat meat, so we're going to give you a carrot and tell you it's a hot dog. It's like, am I an idiot? It's a carrot. But you put all the toppings in a bun and they're still just as good, I think.

So any who's all we go to me and she's like, I knew me. It was going to come because her, that bitch's location was turned off for the first time in three years. I love that you're more on her location than your wills. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Like, why do we even know that her location was turned off?

So Maddie's like, okay, tell us what happened. What happened? And with your beauty competition, whatever. And Grace is like, did you win Mia? And she's like, no, I would not be here if I won. Back to reality show TV for me. So then Austin's doing that thing where he's just giving like uncomfortable looks like, oh, great. Mia's here. And like, it's like, you want to talk about it?

And so Mia's like, "Oh my God, you partied at a lake house?" "Of course Lake has a lake house." "So by the way, Austin, I heard you called me a fucking bitch at the lake house." And he's like, "Uh, do I say that exactly?"

And Mia's like, well, okay, well, before we even do shots, I just want to get to the bottom of this. I just want to know where you're coming from about that. He's like, did I say that? She goes, yeah, well, that's what they all said. And TJ's like smirking like, it was me. I said that you said that. He's like, I don't really remember saying that. So then the producers basically confront TJ and they're like, were those the words? Because he actually said, I think she's really gross. Not that she's a bitch.

Yeah, and then TJ just laughs. He's like, "Same thing though, right?" "No, it is not the same thing." So Molly's like, "TJ's messy, but generally Mia doesn't need any help getting riled up. Let's watch her go." So Mia's like, "Calling me a bitch is kind of crazy. Like, if I didn't even know Lake and I called her a bitch, that would be crazy." And Lake's like, "Geez, what'd I do?"

And Emmy's like, that's what I love about Mia. She'll say it straight. She won't go behind your back. Well, she might, but she'll say it right to your face. I'm like, well, you didn't seem to like it last year when she says right to your face about Will. And then you basically stop being friends with her for the rest of the season. She's like, I like her because she's the only person I have on my side right now. And surely she's not talking about my boyfriend cheating on me. Let's see.

So, basically, so Austin starts talking about how they were all out on King Street and it seemed like it was fun. And she was like, yeah, it was fun, so I don't understand. Oh, I could keep talking if you'd like. Ew, Austin. Gross. How did you go from being a nothing burger on this show to being gross in two seconds? Chill, bro. And she's like, what do you mean? And he's like, I just feel like you cut me off right now. And they go, oh my god. He's like, something we... Go ahead.

I was gonna say, something we could only dream of for his mustache. - Yeah, and he's like, "I remember you and I had been out on King Street, you seemed fun, but then I ran into you at Last Saint and I feel like I got weird vibes." She goes, "What does that mean?" And so in his confessional, he's saying that he went up to this group of girls

and picked Mia out to get her number, and Mia says she wrote her number on the bill, but then he's like, "And then, I didn't tell," wait, what is this whole thing? So he was at work, he was at a group of really pretty girls, Mia put her number down on the thing, and then he didn't call Mia?

Because didn't he say, like, oh, like, she was the one, like, she was, you know, like, there was a bunch of people who just wasn't that attracted to her. Like, he wasn't that attracted to her, but that she wrote the number down. And then he just never texted. And it was like, whatever. But then the next week, Mia came into his bar with another guy and was like, I don't need you. I'm with this guy. And then, like, pointed at whoever she was with at that time. And so he was just like...

So based off of that stupid, probably drunken interaction, he's like, she's gross. Yeah. So she's gross because she liked him and he wasn't interested basically. Yeah. And then she kind of insulted his masculinity, you know, by saying like, actually, I don't need you, which is like the biggest offensive, most offensive thing you could say to someone with a mustache who chops and lifts wood. Right. Because they're, they're wrapped up in their masculinity and obnoxious and toxic ways. Yeah.

No, he's gross. So he's like, I don't ever, I don't think I would ever refer to a woman using those words, but if I did, I apologize. And she's like, okay.

Thanks, I guess. So they decide to go to bed early. But Brad, Mia, Grace, Emmy, Lake, Austin, Molly, a bunch of them. Why am I reading all that? So Lake is flirting with some guy named Jake, who is the biggest cheese ball. I can't believe this is the one she picked. But she's like, well, I want to make him jealous. I want to make Brad jealous. And this one's ready and able. So let's do it.

Yeah. So she's flirting with him. And then Maddie is like, back in the suite, Maddie's like, do you think I should work on my set? Like, I'm super nervous. Like, what if I go to press play and I hit pause by accident? Like, it could happen, Joe. It could happen. He's like, hold on. Let me show you how to press the play button. Doesn't stop that, Joe. You really fucked up, Joe.

So Lake brings Jake back to her room and we hear like kissing through the door. We are led to believe that they did the deed. So then the next day, everyone's also, also, also just, just point of reference. Will also returns at this time and he immediately gets into bed and he's like, I don't want to, he doesn't want to do anything with me. Yeah. Cause the stick is dirty probably. So then the next morning, Maddie and Joe wake up and he's like, Oh my God,

This is my Super Bowl. I'm so excited. Like, I don't want anything to go wrong today because it's going to be the perfect day. The Zook has never seen anything like Matty Reese. Matty, of course, is waking up the way you'd expect Matty to wake up, which is like, Joe, Joe, give me some water. This Vegas air. Joe. It's as appetizing as you could imagine.

So then we go to Lake Michaels and Molly's and she's talking about how she brought Jake back, but they didn't do any funny business. At least it wasn't caught on camera. So then with Mia, TJ and Brad...

She's asking for the tea. And he's like, "Did you wake up thinking about Austin?" That was so mean. She's like, "No, why would I think of him?" He's like, "Well, Austin's girlfriend's brother just graduated from Will Goes to School, and Will's been fooling around up there, and that's how everybody found out. It was through Austin. Tell on him. It's gonna be fine."

And Mia's like, "Will could actually put his penis into someone else's vagina in front of Emmy and she would still make up excuses for him." Oh my God, that's so funny. And you're holding a banana too, so just like totally priceless.

So then everyone's doing their makeup and waking up and like, where's Grace Lilly? No one's heard from her yet. And then people start to saunter into the presidential suite where a whole breakfast buffet is set up. So they all come in and Will is there and no one's seen Will yet because he came in in the middle of the night and they just all ignore him. And he's like, hey guys, just come on and act like I don't exist. It's just so stupid and very middle school. Just say hello. Okay.

And Michaels is like, oh my god, hey Pookie, you made it. Make any friends on the plane? Bathroom? So then now everybody is getting a buffet. So not a whole lot's happening in this episode, not gonna lie. But then they're waiting for Grace Lilly because the set's coming up and Grace Lilly is still in bed snoring. Dun dun dun.

Yes. I mean, I honestly can't believe, but you said that not a lot is happening in this episode when they had a whole discussion about how fresh the fruit is at the buffet and where do they get this fresh fruit? So it's just, they're all sitting around. It's very awkward, you know? Um, and they're waiting for Chris Lilly, et cetera. And they're still talking about the fruit. They do a lot of talk. They, they,

They are really like going to the fruit to avoid having to talk to Will about anything. And really all they have is Will, right? All they have is this Will storyline, but no one wants to bring it up because like that's all they have. And they just did this last week. So Molly's like, yeah, it's awkward because we know these rumors. And he just cheated on his girlfriend. And now he's over here enjoying sausage links and honeydew, which is delicious honeydew, by the way. Where do they get it? I don't know.

Honestly, the Zouk is sourcing some amazing produce right now. And then they kind of rag on Austin because he's like, that's what you get to buy organic, guys. And then they're like, oh my God, Austin and his raw milk. And then Mia's saying how milk doesn't seem right to her. And so then Emmy goes, oh my God, I tried my sister's breast milk and it's very good. And they're like, she goes, yeah, it's very like vanilla almond milk.

Everyone's like, "That's some white people shit. Like, that's crazy." Maybe her sister just gave her some vanilla almond milk and was like, "Yeah, it's my breast milk." So, yeah, so Emi is definitely unraveling. Yeah. And then meanwhile, Maddie is so excited because she gets to meet her main DJ, Esto, and she's like, "I can't wait to get on the stage and be myself!"

And Grace should be here for sound check. I mean, that's more for her than for me. Like I'm just a hype person to hype the crowd up. And like, you know what, as far as live performance, that's all her. So like if something goes wrong today, it could jeopardize my relationship. But then they show her rehearsing with the guy and it's all tracked anyway, so who cares? - Yeah. You know what? I can never be more myself. Like when I press play on one thing and then play on another thing and crossfade them. That's just like me being me in that moment.

So then they're freaking out that Grace Lilly's not here. We keep getting shots of Grace Lilly in bed snoring. Where's Grace? Where's Grace? Where's Grace? Where's Grace?

And everyone's getting ready. Everyone's like putting on tanner and things like that or bronzer or whatever. And everyone, you know, everyone's getting ready to come down to this whole thing. And Emmy is like talking to Will in the presidential suite. And she's like, should I put on this one? Should I put on this one? And he doesn't care what sort of bathing suit she puts on. Like, I mean, this guy is so obviously cheating on her. Like, it's very sad to watch.

Yeah. So then Mia, TJ, and Brad are talking and they're making their beds and stuff, and TJ's like, "I was actually shocked that Emmy's even still talking to us. I mean, that's nice, but it feels unresolved. It's infuriating to hear that Emmy's talking shit about me to Will. I mean, how is this my fault when Will is sticking his wiener in random girls?"

And that was a cross promotion for my new business. Serena. So then Will is like, well, I think I'm ready. What about you? So he just puts on some sunglasses and she's like putting makeup on really hard on her face. Like, I'm happy. I'm happy. Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

Yeah. So now it's like party, party, party. And everyone's like, you're hot, you're hot. Let's drink. Let's have a shot. Let's do drinks. Let's have a shot. And then Brad and Brad asked Lake to put some sunscreen on him. And so she rubs it all over his chest. He's like, yeah. How does it feel? She's like, good. You're all screened up now.

And then Estos is like, you're mixing at 1:30, right? I hope Grace Lilly shows up or your DJ career is over. She's like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I have 12 minutes left. What if Grace Lilly doesn't show up? - Where's Grace Lilly? Oh my God, the Zouk will be scandalized if she doesn't even show up.

Yeah. So then she's nervous. Grace Lilly's fucking around. And Austin was like, I just saw Grace Lilly. She's putting on makeup and she's in no rush. And then we see Grace doing her makeup. And Austin's like, uh, miss you at breakfast. She's like, I need to sleep in. No, what can I tell you? I'm an artist. Go down there. I'll see you down there. I'm almost done. Look at me. Look at me being almost done. And then she's just very slowly. Yeah. Very slowly puts makeup on.

And so Joe's like, I mean, what? Wait, so she said she's tired? Tired from what? She doesn't even work. And TJ goes, living. Okay, you know what? Where the fuck is Grace? And by the way, Joe's doing his whole thing in the confessional where his shoulders are up because he's so upset. And it's actually kind of cute because he really is like...

He really is kind of like this adorable, like a champion for Maddie. You know, if they get married and have kids, he's going to be the dad that has like the five babies like hanging on his like chest on like the baby Bjorn, whatever the kid carrier thing they strap on. He's going to be holding all that stuff, but he'll be so happy to do it. He's like, he just wants to make his girl happy right now.

So he's like, where the fuck is Grace? This is like, this is going to like fuck things up, man. I'm going on in 10 minutes. Like if she doesn't show up, I'm going to be pissed guys. Not at the zoo. He's like, the time slot is on the fucking building of the zoo. So she should be able to figure it out.

And will she make it? Will she make it? Every main DJ Estos is like, it's time. Are you ready? They're like, will Grace show up? Dun, dun, dun. Where's Grace Lilly? This is so fucked up, fucked up, fucked up, fucked up. And that was one of my tricks I learned as a DJ. So hope you all like that.

I hope she's there to be able to sing her four lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if she's not, I don't know how the song could even survive.

That's it, everyone. We'll have to see next week. Or I should say we'll see this Thursday if Grace Lilly does show up for her big show at the Zouk. Until then, we'll just have to wait on Tenderhooks. So thanks, everyone, for being here. And we will catch you on the next episode. Bye, everyone. Bye-bye.

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Hey, y'all. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me. Well, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspective. And honey, it's going to change your life. I said,

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