Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Well, the holidays have come and gone, and let me tell you something. It feels nice to give my home a little TLC after all that chaos and hubbub of December. No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
I have two new beautiful gray lounge chairs that I have put here into this office for podcasting needs. And they just look lovely. And I got them from Wayfair. They arrived very quickly and they were easy to put together. It was a dream. I just did my place all mid-century modern and I got the most...
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Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Sutton's like, okay, all right.
So they, they go in and they, they look around and it's like, it's, this is, it's, this is very sad. Like, and she's talking about how this is going to be a healing step for her, you know? And so she, she also wants sudden wants to say goodbye to her father. And she talks about how she misses him so much. And,
She shows everyone her bedroom first. She goes, well, this is my bedroom. You know, the bed used to be over here and I just moved it from here to there, from there to there, mainly because the noise of the bed moving on the floor drove my mother nuts. So just every day, just move that bed around. Yeah. Kyle's like, yeah, that's the only thing you can really do as a kid to have any power. Move the bed around.
Unless of course you're on Little House on the Prairie. I guess when you're kind of like a child celebrity, you don't have to worry about moving beds around, but that was cute for you. I guess this is sort of like the Augusta way of being like a famous person, right? Moving your bed around. I don't know. I wouldn't know. So Sutton's talking about how she was daddy's girl and he didn't say a lot, but he liked being in the kitchen and they'd make chili and her mom was a terrible cook. She only did frozen fish sticks. So it went from really great food to really terrible food.
And then she talks about how she likes scrambled egg sandwiches with mayonnaise. People think they're disgusting, but they're not. I love it. It's like an emotional tour de force over the egg sandwich. I'm like, well, you go for it.
And then we, you know, it's just lots of dad memories and stuff. And then they go to this room, like this relaxing room, the den or the dad den, and he designed it and built it. And there was a wood burning stove and he'd make pancakes on it. And then Kyle goes, "Um, what was your dad's name again?"
"Kyle!" "Kyle, just be quiet! You know what I mean? Like, who says that? You should know that. Just be quiet." "You should know." And then Sutton goes, "John. John T. You know, kind of the most basic name you could get. Is it hard to remember, Kyle? John? You know, okay, here's a way you can remember it. His name is the same name as the generic name you give someone when you don't want to name them in a court case. John. Okay? John Doe. Okay, so Stephen?"
No, John. So Bob liked pancakes? Well, and then she sees a chair and she's like, this is the last place I ever saw my dad alive. And she talks about how she was leaving for one of her dance performances. And she remembers saying goodbye to her dad and she kind of tugged on his toe, but he was really sick. And she said he was really out of it. And then the next day he died and she still has that.
guilt because whenever she would pass that sofa in high school or wherever, he would always hold out his hand and he would slap it. You know, they would give a high fives or he would give her a thumbs up. And when he was on that sofa, he was so out of it and he didn't put his hand out that day. And she thought it was strange, but she grabbed his big toe and kind of pulled on it. And that's the last time she saw him. And she saw his guilt that she should have known, or she should have sat with him for about, you know, at least five minutes to make sure he was okay. I mean, it's just, this story was so gutting.
Like, it was so gutting. I don't know, because I think it's something about the specificity of it. Like, her describing walking by that sofa and the dad putting his hand down and she would just slap it. It's such a specific thing that also expresses, like, such a relation. It's like a small gesture that expresses everything in their relationship. And, like, it's like a moment of, like, tenderness and care and their bond. And it was like, I was, I started to cry. Yeah, it was really, it's really so...
that's a lot so then um it was just it this was i mean it was it really felt like truly like you know when i i'm saying that it sounds like american theater like it sounds like a great american play it's like i'm not being facetious about it like this is this is people her monologue here and her description of it is what i think actually playwrights would aspire to just like this raw this this rock this
this raw moment with these details that are so particular, but say like volumes about this relationship. So she's telling it and she feels guilty. - Well, and just the guilt that she's carrying around with it because she probably couldn't, it probably wouldn't have, maybe it would have been a different day, but it's sad the things you think, like that you could have done something with something that heavy and something that deep that goes so beyond her.
you know, and it's so sad to see a kid carrying that around into adulthood. It's terrible.
So then she says, well, I can't believe my mom said when I offered to give a full report, she said, I don't want it. And Garcelle's like, well, it's probably painful for her too. And then we see some pictures of her and her mom. And she says that her mom has had a rough go since the dad's death and maybe even before. And she's like, but I want my next phase of my mother's life to be happy and peaceful and fine, not strained. I was like, okay, but part of your mom's fun is going to be hating on your store.
So you're going to have to, you're going to have to give her that. Reba just calls up and said, if you want my next part of my life to be fun and peaceful and not strained, get someone else to make the grits next time. Reba's like, I'm having plenty of fun. Have you not read your Yelp reviews lately? So, you know, Sun tells us that like Reba means a lot to her. Two stars. In great sales, a scarf from eBay. Congratulations.
They should rename the store from "Sut On" to "Sut Off" because that's what all the fashions are like. "Sut Done!" So they leave and Kyle is like, "That was like way more than I expected it to be." Yeah, it was, considering you had no idea who her father was or what happened to him. So of course it was a lot—like, it was baseline going to be a lot more than you thought it would be. I feel awful for Ted. Where are we gonna have lunch? Now how do you know this guy again?
So then we go to Hollywood and we're at Grandmaster Records, which is low-key a popular destination for Bravo shows. It's kind of like the new Mixology 101. So we have Bose arriving with Erica and Dorit. And they all sit down and everything. And Bose is like, the girls need to get out and celebrate life. Also, I brought over some leftover caramel and chocolate sauce that my daughter wouldn't even touch.
So, Erica's like, "Alright, well, guess what, okay, waitress, alright, this one over here, the one with the bug eyes and the crazy accents, she's gonna have the same old drink, okay, a Belvedere soda with three lemons and no rind. See how you can just say 'no rind' instead of 'cock us out'? Come on, Dorit." "No, I'm sorry, that's not the correct drink. Um, everything she says until the end, and then it's 'Cock us out!'"
So have you guys seen each other since Kathy's? Which, by the way, I had a nice time. I would never have thought that, but I had a great time at Kathy's. She's like, I had a great time. I was literally just like, wow, this table setting right here. I don't even know where to begin. And I got to change my place settings. So they order some pizza and stuff. And then Boze is like, I have to update you on so many things. And Erica and Dorita are like, ooh, do it. And they do this like...
leaning on each other like they're so excited to hear. And it's like, oh, you are ridiculous people. Well, here we go. Keely and I have talked about having a baby, but we've actually never said the words, I love you. Girls, go ahead. Give me your reactions. I can take it.
Look at both of you. All right. Hold on. Hold on. I need a moment. Back up. Back up. No, not that far again. Tom, you're going to fall down the hill. Roll down the hill. Roll 10 times. Oh, God. It's snowing in Pasadena. Jesus, don't stop me on this monologue.
"Well, I want him to say it first. I want to know what he's feeling." "Well, I can hear that. I can feel that. I do hear that there's some sort of concept called empathy that I think I'm going to try to access right now for you. No, don't have it. I'll just have to trust what you're saying." "Well, I do love him and there's moments I want to say it and then I say, 'Don't do it! Don't do it, Rose!' And she's like, 'He has to say it first!'"
No disrespect, but having a baby, but not telling the man I love you. I mean, what are we doing here? We are not patting the puss. No disrespect, but having a baby, not telling the man I love you. Okay, all right, where are we going here? Where are we going here?
So Erica is like, so what do you think is going on? She goes, well, I think it's as simple as saying, Keely, do you think it's weird that we haven't said, gee, I love you to one another? Do you think it's weird that you haven't offered to share some Pringles with me in all of our time together, Keely? Keely, isn't it weird that every time I go to the store and say, could you please bring me back some green juice, you come back with bags of marshmallows. All right, Dorita, I think you sort of lost the course there.
"Bose, how about you say 'Keeley'? I've been waiting for you to say 'I love you' but you haven't said it and it feels a little bit 'bully'." Little jabs. Little jabs. Little jabs. Little jabs bully. And she's like, "I'm not saying any of this, okay?" She goes, "No, well, I don't want him to be like, 'Oh, but I love you too,' and then I feel like I made him say it." And Erica's like, "Okay, don't do what she said, alright? That's not a good idea. Don't force the situation."
I'm like, who is... I mean, Erica's advice isn't terrible, but I can't imagine this with... I can't imagine this working out with anybody that Erica's been with either. You know? So Bo's like, well, I'm acting on the belief that he loves me. I know he's going to say the words one day. We love each other. I know that. He showed up to Ghana. I don't know. I think it's fishy that he showed up to Ghana. I don't like... I don't find that romantic. If you're like, I'm going on a trip with my daughter, and then he just shows up to Ghana, that's weird. And you haven't even told her I love you, or...
You haven't said I love you. The guy to the kids yet. I don't know. It feels weird. Yeah, that is a little weird. On the one hand, I think it's like, oh, my God, like, how fun. Like, I would love it if I went to Ghana and then Dom showed up. I'm like, oh, my God, Dom came. But the thing is, we say we also say, like, I love you to each other. So, yeah, it is. And also, like, again, he hadn't met the kid. It is a little that's a little bit of a strange move because it also forces it forces her hand to have to, like, have a conversation with her daughter. And.
And that's kind of not cool to do, if you ask me. So, you know what? I decided, boo. Dorit's like, here's what you do. Hold a can of Pringles up to your face.
He'll say it immediately. That's how I got my ring. You know, my original ring was actually an aluminum cardboard can. It was very large, very, very large. Eventually we had to cut down and had a couple of zephaniums sucked in there. And it's worked out for almost a decade, just short of a decade. Oh my God, it's almost been a decade. Picky! - Actually, my first engagement ring was actually merely just a zephanium.
But since then, we've really moved on to Pringle's Box. And then finally, Eminem's rapper. So, all had diamonds, all had diamonds. Well, do you consider that you are dating for marriage?
Oh, we see their beach picnic. It doesn't matter. So Bose is like, why not continue their conversation about the baby and the marriage in the future while we build the words together? I don't see anything wrong with that, really. I'm like, yes, but you yourself say that you love being in love and the last person that you fell in love with actually was leading a double life. So maybe put some, you know,
let's put some regulations on this a little bit. I think from what she said, you know, being a certain age and trying to find a single man without a ton of baggage and stuff at that age who also wants kids, it's just, he's all of the right things on paper, so you're just gonna try and make it work. And I don't know. I don't know. I just, I'm not feeling it. So then, of course, Dorit jumps in. She's like, "You guys, I spoke with Piquet!" "Can someone else have a scene? For Christ's sake, just let the woman have a scene, Dorit."
Okay, drop it on us. No, it could hurt you. Well, what, what? Come on. You had a conversation with what? Who? Huh? Huh? What? Huh? I mean, PK? Huh? Oh, God. You motherfucker. How are we even in this conversation? What did he even say? Well, guys, I picked up the phone and we just started talking. I mean, first I realized it was a banana, so that was awkward. But then when I actually picked up the real phone...
The conversation was much better. First of all, he called me, but he couldn't really speak. You know what I mean. So I said, "Pique, pretend I'm a bagel." And he said, "I'd like nothing more than to toast you, butter you up, and swallow you whole." I said, "We're back in business, baby!" It was like we were friends.
It was just like the old days of me, PK, boy George, hidden in a room that we said had black mold. It was just the old days. And Bose was like, that's a lie. It's a lie. I mean, where is my lipstick? Now, it's funny because Bose recognizes the bullshit with PK, but can't see that there may be some bullshit happening with Keeley. Well, I mean, that's so normal, though, too, right? You can't see it when it's your own life. I mean, I can call out everybody on Bravo, but then I date the...
worst every single time. I'd like be worst at it. So, you know, I think it's easier to see when you're not in it.
Unfortunately. But yeah, stupid Dodo Dorit is like, oh, when I was talking to him, and there, there it was, the father of my children, the man I believed no longer existed, on the phone with me. I'm like, oh yeah, because he knows you're, because Kyle went back and told him that your ass is going to get serious and everybody told you to go after his ass because they know that that 10 years is coming up. And so now he's going to call you and try and sweet talk your ass so he can screw you over before the time limit.
Come on, man. Exactly. Yeah. So, Drew's like, you know, I don't want you to get confused, Erica. I mean, this was not a reconciliation. This was me saying, there he is, the man that I used to love, who I still love, and I want to get back together with him. But it's not a reconciliation. This was just very much, I asked him, I said, I need you to just slow down a little bit. And let's just communicate. We can't be at war and the kids be okay, PK. Yeah.
And Buzz is like, "This is about you, not about the kids. You're asking him to slow down because you want to catch your breath. It's not about the kids." She's like, "Well, you're absolutely right, but you need to understand. Catching my breath is about the kids, guys. I want to explain it so it's not confusing. Can you keep up? Baby boy, let me catch my breath. Make some noise. Let me catch my breath. Make some noise. Let me, let me. Oh, hey, oh, hey, boy. All right, stop. Please, don't bring Beyoncé into this."
I'm trying to ask where you ended up, not asking what your favorite Beyonce song is. So, well, the conversation was a hell of a lot better and different than I thought it would be. I was like, gee. And Boze goes, well, it feels like a trick. A trick? No, no, that I can guarantee because he's not that person. He's not a tricky person. It's not like he has debts from casinos or pantones he hasn't paid for.
It was amazing. He's just not a tricky person at all. I said, PK, let's FaceTime. And I looked him straight in the eye and he said, oh, I'm getting something from your ear. And it was a quarter. I mean, who uses quarters anymore? That's a man to be in love with. Like, oh, geez, Dorit. He's a very honest person. For instance, he threw me a pretty woman anniversary party and then tried to convince me that the song from Top Gun was part of that movie. So, yeah.
She's like, "Well, you know, the good person is the Pringles, PK. The bad person is when he's raging." "Now stop giving me city!" "What?" "Stop giving me Sadui!" "What?" "Stop give--" She's saying "cider." "Stop giving a fucking cider." "Thank you, Eureka!" "I'm sorry, I was very, very frustrated."
PK is ruthless, especially if he's walking down aisle seven in pavilions and going after some pickle chips. He is ruthless in business, which means he'll be ruthless in the business of divorce. I keep yelling from the mountaintops. Hey, you need to take shelter. No one's listening to me. Hey, I'm on top of a mountain and it's snowing a bassadita. Get off the road, everyone, before you crash off the side of a cliff. But no one's listening. No one hears me. Yeah.
Someone online made a good point in a comment to us that said something like, because I was saying last week, like, how could PK even have any money? I don't believe that he has any. So this is all really weird to me. But someone said when he went through all of his lawsuits in London that he probably hid a bunch away, which is true. But how can she legally get access to money that he's hidden away? Yeah.
You know, so I don't really understand where this is, but or where they're going with this. But I just feel like at this point, she's making more money than PK because of the TV show. So I would think that he's going to come after her for money. I don't think that he's got much to take, but I guess time will tell. We'll see.
Hmm. Yeah. So Bose is like, well, he needs to calm you down. This is the art of war, my dear. He needs to calm you down so you don't act so he can act. This is all the stuff I learned at Netflix. And Dorit is like, but what does that mean, though? I don't understand the advantage. Well, the advantage is that he wants to have you have the upper hand. If you're cornered like any animal, you're going to strike.
And he's afraid of how smart you are and how you will strike. He's calming you down, Dorit. Can't we get you to follow about this so we can run the bases on you? Correct. Legally, you can scoop up everybody so that you don't have good counsel. Yeah, but he has to pay the counsel. That's the problem. He can't go hiring every lawyer in town. But I think their advice is correct with Dorit. Isn't it that if you meet... Because Dorit's falling into the trap of being like, oh, guys, well, he called and he was nice. So maybe everything's different now. No.
No, things are not different. If that man is still not showing up at your house and spending time with those children, things have not changed. Isn't, but isn't, isn't, I could be totally wrong, but isn't it if you just like have a consult, like a meeting with a lawyer to see if like, maybe I should hire you or not, that that immediately like...
take them off the table for someone else. I could be totally wrong. I don't think so. I think you have to retain the lawyer. I think if you went to a lawyer and I ended up not using them, that you would be able to use my lawyer, I think. What the fuck do I know?
Nothing. Nothing. Huh. Well, so be it, John Jansen. So Bo's like, Dorit needs to keep her eyes open. A divorce is going to come. It's going to take her by surprise. She's going to get the short end of the stick. And guess what? There won't be any chocolate sauce to dip that stick into. You can't just stand still and wait for him to do things to you. You can't be a victim.
Do you think this is a game? Yes. Wake up. I'm just saying. She's like, woo, holy shit. I loved her. I love Bo's yelling, wake up at Dorit. Wake up. Snap out of it. Wake up. Wake up. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crapin's commercial.
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Let's go back to the sleepy streets of Augusta, Georgia, shall we? So Sutton FaceTimes Reba, and she's like...
Hi, do you have that? Do you have that Parmesan cheese? Oh, because Sutton is in the kitchen, but Reba's in her house out back. So she FaceTimes her to be like, do you have Parmesan cheese? And Reba's like, now, see, I couldn't open up your messages about the ingredients, mainly because I saw your name attached to it. And I said, I don't want to deal with my daughter right now. I'm having a good day. So why don't you go into the kitchen and look at the ingredients and see if you need anything? She goes, okay, mother, I'll see you soon.
Well, why are you asking Reba to do it? Call Instacart. I mean, and you have Avi. Why isn't Avi doing it? So then Kyle sits in her bed and calls Kathy and...
Kathy's like, oh, hi, I'm just going outside. It's so beautiful. I had a dinner with the girls and the other. Oh, gosh, did you see the flowers? I had those flowers made. It's like, Kathy, you're on FaceTime. You need to stop holding the phone up to your ear. Oh, we're sorry. Sorry, Kyle. Sorry, Kyle. Above her head. I was like, OK, well, now I can see the top of your sun hat.
So, by the way, Mo and Portia leave today for Europe. And because, you know, he's going to take her on that trip. And he's just like dropping her off, you know, like a guided tour where they're chaperoned. Then he like goes off for like four days, like Switzerland and like a meditation thing. And he goes off to meet like PK and San Tropez. And Kathy's like,
Okay, that's great. Well, I do that every weekend, so it's not so surprising to me. Have a great day. Go, you know, it's great to be all meditative and everything. Yeah, yeah, they got a party and everything. Wow. So then Garcelle is on the couch with Junebug, and Junebug's just staring at Garcelle. She's like, well, hello. Where's your mother? Why are you staring at me? Sudden. All right, let's go find your mother. You're making me very uncomfortable. The dog's just like...
So then Sutton's in the kitchen with Avi and she's like, did my mother text you? He's like, no, but I've also blocked her. She's like, okay, well, she didn't get any of my ingredients. I mean, I need some, I need, there's no bread. I need all these things. He's like, well, her mom got that gluten free. I asked for a very specific kind of bread. Okay. Then I, you know, I asked for a cucumber and there's no cucumber in this salad. Like then I, or I asked for something else. I like, look, she's just getting all wrong. All despite me. She wants to ruin my crab cakes. Yeah.
I texted mama, but she couldn't read it. She couldn't open my notes. And obviously I said, once you get on your wifi, you could open it. It just needs to download. I thought she got it done. Oh my God. You're talking to my mother about wifi. Are you kidding? She tried to have that outlawed.
So Grosselle is like about to enter the kitchen and then she sees it's like tense. So she just sort of like, she just, she backs out. She's like, I'm not getting involved with this. So she's going to sit aside and listen in. So it sounds like I was very, very specific. I said, no cucumbers, no gluten-free bread. And what did she get me? Cucumbers and gluten-free bread. I mean, it's like, she just hates me. You know, guess what? I love crab cakes. And she tells a story about how her dad always made the best crab cakes and he gave her the recipe. And in fact, she,
And her mom loves them. And like two days after he died, they actually made the crab cakes for Christmas Eve. And then she burned them. I was like, oh my God, this story just keeps on going.
Like the burnt crab cakes on Christmas Eve. But the fact that they haven't had the Christmas Eve, I mean, I get that you were probably just trying to move on, but that is just, can I just say that so Southern? To be like, Christmas must go on. Everybody get their dresses on and we shall have crab cakes. Sutton, do them. Well, Sutton failed, everybody. Let's just enjoy this Christmas. Jeez, my God, that was the next day.
And then Sutton's like, we have to have Osberg lettuce. I was like, okay, you are totally unraveled right now because no one is screaming that unless you're making a wedge. So then Kyle goes to check in on Garcelle and Garcelle's like,
Oh, God, son's a little stressed out. I don't know how it's going to go. Well, I told her have zero expectations. This is about getting it off her chest, whatever it is. I'm not even sure what this is about. But like, you know, her mom is 82 years old. I wonder if I'll ever get to meet her, by the way. I love that lady who's downstairs, though. It's not about changing people at this point.
So she's like, Sutton's a little on edge. And I think that's understandable. I mean, you know, ever since Ted passed, but she's been putting this conversation she's wanted to have with her mom for a very long time. And I think it's really building up and she's just scared. That's what it is. She's scared. So now Sutton downstairs is telling the maid, I guess, Cheryl, she's her housekeeper. She's like, Cheryl, I'm waiting on my mother. And Cheryl's just like,
Now, I told you if I was going to keep this job, it was under the order that I would not have to mess with your mother. I need my mother. And she's like, okay, okay. So she walks out so pissed off that she has to go to Reba's house. And she goes, okay, Dick. She goes, knock, knock. She goes, it's time for dinner. And Reba's like, well, okay, okay.
"Now Dixie, I'm leaving you for a while, but I'll be back in a little while." And then we pan over to her fucking dog, Dixie. This was the most perfect dog. And this was Dixie Carter in dog form, wasn't it? - It was Dixie Carter, but it sort of had Eileen Davidson hair a little bit. It was so funny. I actually was like,
I literally rewound it. I was like, of course Reba has this dog, like the long flat hair that like flares out at the, at the bottom. And then like, but the poofy things around the legs and everything. It was just a poodle. Like it's legs crossed. Yeah.
And it was just sitting there and you know, the poodle was just the reba of dogs too. You know? Yeah. The poodle was like, don't forget the Parmesan this time. None of your business. Bravo. Woof, woof. Bring Romaine in here again. And you're dead to me, woman.
Reba, Nadine, our note taker, says that Reba Dixie is an Afghan hound, which I think that is the long hair that comes out is like the defining feature of an Afghan hound, I think. So Reba goes and she enters the kitchen. She goes, hello, I'm here. And Sutton and Avi just are silent.
And Reba sees there's a jar of pickled okra. She goes, oh, some pickled okra. I love pickled okra. And Avi just takes a bite of pickled okra and just kind of stares at her. With his hands? Yeah. And Reba just stares back. And she just stares at him like, pig. And he's like, eating it with my hands, bitch.
But I think there was also that element of like, "And you're not going to offer me one." A lady just entered the room and said she likes pickled okra and you ate one, but you didn't offer me one. She was disgusted on so many levels, the hands, the mouth. It was definitely a power play. I love that he just reached in with his fingers, grabbed a pickled okra and swallowed it in front of her face and then walked away. I was like, "Yes, Avi!"
And like, and she, and Reba just gives her, gives him a long ass dank face. Like she just was like, she's like doing that thing where she's like walking down through the kitchen, still looking at Avi like, I saw what you did. I saw this. Sutton is, she's like, I'll make the crab meat patties while we're talking. Okay. So, okay, brother, this is,
It's my capsule collection. She's like, this is your what? My capsule collection, mother. Okay, this is what I've been working on. This is my sustainable green line that I do for Sutton Brands. And she goes, oh, all right. That's great. Hey, as long as we're talking about sustainability, could you sustain those crab cakes a little bit more and keep an eye on them in the kitchen, please? She's like, okay.
If you ever had ability to do a proper crab cake, it would be wonderful if you could sustain that too. Fortunately, you've never had that ability to sustain. So that's a shame. So now.
sustainability, I guess that's the word we don't use with your marriage to your ex. So Sutton's like, well, the past two and a half years, I've been working very hard on my new business and we have started Sutton Greenline. And under that, I'm going to do a series of capsules. And Reba's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Greenline capsules? None of that. She's like, it's shirts and pants. Just say it's shirts and pants, Sutton.
Well, for all my life, I've been wanting acceptance from my mother. And she was always a career woman. And I'm so proud of her. I just wanted to be reciprocated. So Reba's rubbing her fingers on this kind of plasticky skirt thing. And she goes, is this real? She goes, yes, mother. It's real. Like real saran wrap or real? Real, mother. It's just real. As in animal skin or pencil erasers. What is this supposed to be? It's real, mother. Stop touching it.
No, I didn't mean, are the materials real? I meant, is this real or is this a joke? Like, this is what you're proud of? That you brought a trench coat into my house? So then there's a beige trench coat jumpsuit thing, and it has a big round patch that says, name them. Who's going to wear that? No, yeah.
No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not your mother. So you don't need my validation, but that is a stupid jacket. Take the name home off there. You need to either have fashion or you need to have t-shirts with like your funny sayings on them. You can't make eye fashion and then put housewives quotes on them. No one's paying for that. No.
No, don't do that. So Reba's like, oh, so this is a jumpsuit. So good. You can look like the cable man. And Sutton's like, well, mother, it's actually a trench and it's really cute. You know, this and put this on, you know, I just tried this on last week. It looks really good. She goes, well, it would look awful on me. I mean, I'm very happy with my body. I just know that something that looks this awful on a table can't possibly look good on me as a human.
Now, listen, I'll tell you who would it would look good on. Inspector Gadget. He around. Maybe he's got a budget. Well, it's very complicated. It's very intense work because every single piece that you see has a code and it goes to London because that's where their base. It's super fast and ships out from Houston. It's not easy, Mama. She goes.
Reminds me of ground beef. You know, ground beef is labeled made in the U.S. and it's not. It's made in Cuba. She says Cuba in this way. I was like, I felt offensive. I'm not totally sure why, but I just felt like it wasn't right. Enjoy your commie burgers.
from Cuba. So son goes, okay, well, I'm going to take these products and I don't care where they are and where they're made because I'm saving them from going to a landfill. Oh, like your marriage did. Okay, mother, that's too much. Okay. It's not like ground beef. I love that because that is just such a, that's such a mom thing to say like ground beef.
So, Garstall and Kyle are listening in and Garstall's like, "Oh good, they're talking. They're making little passive aggressive swipes at each other. This is going great." But they're only on the clothing part.
So then we cut back and Sutton's like, I'm going to cut up some lettuce real fast. Okay. What would you like to drink? Cyanide, a bleach, got a little drain out here. You want me to help you? What would you like mother? She goes, you realize I live by myself, right? So she opens the fridge and starts going through it. She says, you want me to get out the crab meat? She goes, please mother.
I think that's really about to have a breakdown. I don't know for some of this. I just see the mom is just being like, whatever. Great job. What's next?
Something's really expecting a lot out of this woman that I just don't think she has a dinner together. Nope, not anymore. And so Reba's like, by the way, what time are you leaving? You know, I mean, I love having you all here, but Dixie gets very uncomfortable around homosexuals, which is odd considering the way she looks. So I just want to know when Avi's going to clear out. Sutton's like, well, our flat's at 2.30. Okay. By the way, why are there spoons in the freezer? Are we having caviar? Yeah.
And who put this ice in the ice maker? Don't tell me. I already know. The care bear over there.
Have you eaten yet, mother? You're grouchier than usual. She's like, no. She's like, okay, well, have these dip things, okay? I can't deal with your hangry self. She's like, well, I don't like stuff like that. Dips, that's for poor people. I'm anti-dips. She goes, so, I was talking to John Clark last night, and that's her brother. So we see the flashback of her talking to her brother. And she's like, well, I just don't know if she gets me or understands what I do. And he goes, oh, well, I think so. I mean...
She didn't say that. So you just have ESP? He goes, well, I mean, you can tell. She goes, I can't tell. I feel like she's so guarded. And he goes, you know, I mean, think about what she does for a living. I know, but we are not her patients. So we come back and Sutton's like, you know, I was just like, I was just telling John Clark, I was saying, I just don't know if mom understands what I do or is proud at all. And Reba's like,
oh you're gonna try to do this to me on camera huh like her face has that look like i'm not she just squints in her and she's well why are you making that face and she goes well i just don't understand that you don't understand what any of it any of what why you would think i wouldn't be proud of you well you don't say it because well i don't need to do i need to say that the person who put the wrong ice in the ice compartment is your twit of a gay no we all know it
Well, maybe I need you to say it. She's like, well, okay, I'm proud of you. To me, it's kind of like saying I love you. It's so trite and so inconsequential. People just say, oh, I love you. It's overused. That's what I was about to be like. And I'd also like you to tell me I love you. She's like, oh, okay. So then Garcelle and Kyle have migrated to the bottom of the stairs where we just cut to their faces. And it's a beautiful pose. They're just like, what?
So Reba's like, I think your prelude to this point is I was the way I was because I wanted to be a professional working woman. And that got impressed on you. And you've actually become me. Ha ha ha. A professional working. He was like, guess what? You're me. You may hate me, but you are me. So get used to it.
She goes, well, it took me time because I wanted to stay home with my children. And she goes, well, that's fine. And she goes, but you gave him grief for it. She goes, well, what does it matter? You did it anyway. One of them turned out weird and I warned you, get sent home with him. Now you got a weird one, but that's okay. That's your choice. We're okay with the weird ones. Keep some odd business in business.
Yeah, so she's like, "Well, I don't think it's trite to tell your children you're proud of them, and I don't think it's trite to tell your children that you love them." She goes, "Well, I thought about that, because it seems to be an issue not only with you, but with some of your friends. So I had to go back to the way I was raised." That was so like, the venom that she just inserts is so good.
She's like, well, I was raised World War II post. And in those days, no one told me I was pretty when I was growing up. And it didn't matter whether I was pretty or ugly because I just kept going because that's the way it was. Remember, in those days, mothers put their baby in the crib and they just cried. Okay. Yeah.
And look how that turned out. Look how well-adjusted Sutton is. So Sutton is like, she's like, well, I guess if it's trapped to you, I certainly don't want to make you do anything that it's not real for you. I just wanted to let you know how I feel. She's like, well, thank you very much for telling me that. Which is her way of saying, well, go fuck yourself. Well, there's just so much in this conversation that's like crazy. So the mom, it's not crazy. It's just, there's a lot of layers to it. So the mom's saying,
you know, I feel like you have kind of a disrespect for me because I was never there for you growing up. So you feel like I didn't love you because I wasn't some stay at home mom, but I was a, I was a woman who wanted a career and I went and got a fucking career and I'm not going to apologize to you for it. And Sutton's like, well, that's fine. But then you didn't respect my choice as a woman when I decided to stay home with my children.
and she's like but i did respect it and she's like no you really didn't you've never respected me ever since then and you don't consider my career real because i it wasn't my original career i came up with it after i raised my children so a lot of this is beyond even mothering you know it's just like a womanhood argument it's so complicated going on forever i mean there's just so many layers to it and it's actually pretty fascinating i would
loved like even more episodes of this just listening to these two kind of go at it and peeling back what it really is this this was like the southern gothic version of like the monica and linda uh scene from salt lake oh no there's this all fake no there's but there well no there's was there's was a a
theirs was like the trashy. There's like the trashy version of this. Right. But it was like very compelling to me because they had all this, they have all this baggage between them. And now we're seeing the baggage here, but this is like that Southern, like we don't talk about those things kind of things. And so, whereas Monica and Linda was the opposite where it was like, Oh, we're going to, we actually overshare all this bullshit. Um,
So Sutton is, I just loved this. It was just so cold when Sutton is like, well, I just wanted you to tell him, I don't want to make you say something that you don't, you know, you don't feel comfortable saying, but I just wanted to let you know how I felt. And the mom just being like,
Oh, well, thanks so much for sharing that. Like, do you feel better now? Do you feel better now that you've said that? Okay, thanks. I'm just like, well, I have my show and I'm doing a fashion show for this capsule and it's a very big deal for me, you know, and I know you don't like to travel, but it would be great. She goes, I don't mind traveling. Okay, well, you tell me that you don't want to. I mind traveling to places where that little man is, is what I said.
specifically, but you know, I might could come to California. I think I could do that. She goes, but that would speak volumes to me, mother. She goes, do I have to sleep in Phillip's room? Please just don't make me sleep in the weirdo's room, please. I love that she said I might could come. I was like, oh gosh, just really leaning into the Southern stuff.
So this is like a big breakthrough. The music changes. It's like nice. It's like, hey, hey, audience, we've decided that this is a this is a nice moment because the mother gave a mild concession.
so that's huge for her because that is her saying she's not going to break down and be like oh i do love you honey because it's just not her and she's not going to break and do it for tv which i kind of respect actually that she's like i'm not going to give you that because you're you're you're blatantly pandering at this point i'm not giving it to you but i will show it to you by coming to see your little fashion show and that's a bigger deal i think so i think she communicated it in her way um
Which, you know, she's a stubborn lady, but I think at least she's going to show up. If she does show up, then at least she's going to show it. So I was actually, that's a big deal for her.
And this is, of course, a parallel to the discussion between Bose and-- about Bose and Keeley about, like, what needs to be said, what doesn't need to be said. So, this is, like, a really well-made episode. So, Sutton is like, "Well, where would you like to sleep, Mother?" She goes, "Well, is the aquarium still in that one room? 'Cause I can't sleep with the fish in there." You know? She goes, "Okay, Mother. Well, I just want to be better." And Reba goes, "Well, we can do better." And she goes, "I know we can." And so, Sutton is like,
actually really touched because her mom said we can do better. She says it gives her so much hope for their relationship going forward. - It's like, I'm coming in for the hug, mama. You don't have to hug me back. She goes, oh God, do I have to stand up? She's like, no. And now I can make crab cakes. And girl, when she served those crab cakes, they were burned. I felt bad. And I'm proud of Reba for not thinking. - I think they were browned. I don't think they were burnt. They were on the edge.
They're on the edge. Burn. So they hug and everything. And so now she's like, okay, I'm gonna go get my friends. So it's like a very sitcom moment because Sutton goes into the foyer to call down...
And they're already there. So they go running. Garcelle runs away and she doesn't really get to hide. But Kyle goes back up the stairs and then turns around and comes down, walks down the stairs as if she was just casually walking down the stairs. It was actually one of the funniest things that Kyle ever did. The way that Kyle came down that staircase again, like, you know, I was I was already headed down. I died. That was the best. That may have been the best thing that Kyle Richards ever did.
So she's like, "It all went really well. It was very calm and she's going to come to the fashion show." And Garcelle's like, "I'm so proud of you." And Kyle's like, "That's so great. Good for you. So when do we get to meet your mom?" What fashion show is happening?
So she serves the crab cake, they cook the crab cakes and then they are like, it's happy now. It's cooking, they sit down, crab cakes are served and everything. And Reba is smiling. Reba goes, "Mmm, this salad is good." Which, you know, again, that was her way of saying, "I love you, daughter, and I'm proud of you." Yeah. And she said, "Well, I just want to give a cheers. I'll leave here with a smile on my face."
And I want to be a better daughter. And Reba says, a friend. She goes, and a friend. She goes, yeah, good. Got it. Nailed it. And Sonny goes, all right. So as you are my new friend, I'm going to leave you with cleanup duty. Bye.
Wow. Great episode. Like a real tour de force like that. Like I literally think that Bravo should submit that to the Emmys for consideration. It'll never get nominated because you know, the Emmys are like, they're totally biased against our craft of the real housewives. But it was so good that I actually think they,
they should they should submit that one because it was like it was like kind of a great perfect hour of television that was a good one all right everybody well thanks so much for being with us thanks for being with us on patreon on video and we will talk to you next time head over to patreon for video and traders recaps and we'll talk to you soon bye guys bye
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