#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
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Welcome to Crap-Ins. Don't wait a week for a new video. Join our Patreon at the Crap-Ins On Demand level for instant recap access. Link in description. Enjoy the show.

Well, hello, and welcome to What What's Wrapping, the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yield Roves. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. What's going on? Nothing. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. It's below dick down under day. All right. So welcome. Crypto Bros. Crypto Bros. Bros.

And we're excited. We're also on tour. The Mounting Hysteria Tour is in your city soon. Here's what's coming up in March. I'll just list the cities real quick. We are going to Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., Philadelphia. And that is for March. We're also going to be on tour in April and May. So check WatchWhatCrapHands.com for ticket links and your city soon.

Also, we did Crappy Hour last night. That's our bi-weekly live show. It was so fun. And if you want to join us, that's every other Monday at 5.30 Pacific time on our Patreon or our YouTube, which is free. Both of those events are free. And it's also where you get Patreon, that is.

is also where you get our bonus episodes and our videos, which we are on today. If you want free videos, you can get them a week after they're released over on our YouTube. Watch what crap ends. Well, what's going on with you today, Ben? Also, I just want to give a shout out to Carlos King, who had us on his podcast. Oh, yes, Carlos. Reality with the King. Go listen to that. We talk about, very extensively, about the Potomac reunion, which was a lot of fun. So he is an angel.

And we love talking with him. So go listen to an angel talk with Reality with the King. The King of all reality television. Let's join Below Deck Down Under. Down Under.

You know, this one's pretty good because Below Decks was so good about giving us douchebags to shoot down, you know, and they really did with the sous chef. What a little fucker this guy is. What a little fucker. What a little fucker with such an entitlement complex that he has. Like, it is so ridiculous. And he fucked up.

He was given a big task and he fucked up. You know what? Like I found myself. So, okay. I have to say YouTube TV has, I watched on YouTube TV and YouTube TV has been doing this thing lately that has made me furious, which is that it has cut off like the last, uh,

15 seconds of an episode. And so when we got to the end of this episode and Captain Jason goes, "And let me tell you something else." And then all of a sudden it's just like, and that's the end of the episode. And I was furious. I had to go hunt down the last 15 seconds 'cause like my blood, it was so weird, Ronnie. I was pretty chill the whole episode. I was like, "Oh, it's fine. There's our favorite moray eel again." And then like all of a sudden at that last like 30 seconds,

I became so rageful. I can't explain it. I got so, so angry out of nowhere. And so I just loved, I loved how this episode ended when I finally tracked it down. Yeah. Oh, wow. You had to put a lot of effort in this thing to end. I needed, I was like...

It was the strangest thing. I just got overwhelmed with rage. Well, I was super surprised that they even gave us the ending because normally it's like a dun-dun-dun and then we have to wait till next week, you know? Yeah. But not this time. We got it all this time. So it was very good. So we start where we left off last time, which is the crew...

having their night out and serena has just been told by that messy messy little goofball harry that uh the sous chef is talking shit about her so she's like i'm gonna smoke and so she goes off to smoke but then no one joins her which i think hurts her feelings more because when you go off on below deck and people don't join you to smoke that's something because everybody gets somebody to join them smoking who smokes alone on that show everybody smokes

Yeah, that's pretty bad if you're a solo smoker, you know. Just, by the way, the mere invocation of Harry made me remember his whole storyline. And I just had like an instinctual like a cringe moment. I have to brace myself for all that. So Harry's like, oh, I love that they're leaning into Harry's cringe this season. It's so funny. He'll be like, no, I feel so sexy. And then it just goes to him like making that goofy, goofy face.

Yeah. And so he's like, well, she's all right. I'm like, what? After you told her that her sous chef doesn't like her and talk shit about her behind her back. I'm telling you, it's a season two bitch flower blooming. That's what's happening with Harry. And he's loving it. I love that when Harry laughs, he looks like pictures. You know, when you go on a roller coaster and then you come down the roller coaster and they have a picture of you and you're usually like, that's how he laughs. He has that, that frozen in midair, terrified, but also giggling face.

It's like Chris Noth on a roller coaster. So Marina's like, oh, you guys were having a deep conversation. And he's like, I know. So Harry is saying like, well, you know, everyone's tired. You know, she's tired. Everyone's tired. And Anthony goes, I feel all right. I don't know why, but I feel all right. Oh, because you're a fucking superhero, Anthony. Wow. You're amazing, Anthony. The way you can do dishes and then still –

you know, stand is just amazing when poor Serena is tired and you're not. Congratulations. Here's a fucking gold medal, Anthony. Exactly.

You know, this is really upsetting me because it's the complete opposite of what I thought Anthony and I would be like. I saw us making amazing food together, having great banter and British jokes. And I imagined us at the last charter and everyone's cheering and he was going to be my right-hand man. It's fucking ridiculous. This is Zarina saying this. And while she's saying it, production just like makes all these cartoons around her face. They like put like a British, like one of those British, like Buckingham Palace guards hats on her head. And they just do all these, they just like...

Make all this silly stuff on the screen. Her romanticizing emojis are popping up all over the screen. So then Marina senses that something's wrong with her, but she's like, she just wanted to smoke. And Harry's like, yeah, don't know what? No idea. No idea what? She's upset over there smoking.

And everyone just ignores it because at the end of the day, there's food here. And so Anthony's like, you're the one who had the fish, right? And he's like, yeah, with fries. And they're like, oh, my God. Brianna's like, oh, my God, you said with fries. That is so American. You're going to confuse me. That was so American. This is hilarious. He said French fries. I'm like, oh, my God, Brianna, I would die for her. Yeah.

So Zarina comes back and then she's like, let's go to the next place. So now they're going to go, they get in their cars and,

And, you know, they're going to go to the club and they're going to talk about all the girls. You can talk about the boys and the boys. Vihon is like, so, Johnny, do you fancy anyone on the boat? And Johnny is like, I fancy a little bit Harry. Yeah. Hot. Yeah. I'm like, it might just be what Harry means. An angry Greek man. You know, that's kind of like that's that's this is we're into this one. I know. I was like, I hope the show has come this far where we finally get this storyline.

And I know that there have been gays on there, but we haven't really had any gay storylines. Not really. There have been some like, I don't know. What have we even had on this show? There was like a below deck where there was a guy, there was like a bosun or someone who had like that handlebar mustache who like I think made out with Fraser at one point. Oh, yeah. So we've had a gay makeout. But come on. We need a little more. It's 2025. Make your wedding.

Yeah, I need some, like, closeted Greek action. I need some closeted drunk Greek action. We need some infrared closeted Greek action. Like, this is the redemption arc for Johnny that we want, okay? Like, I could see it happening now. Yeah. So, and also, Vion sleeps naked, which, pretty bold. I mean, you're on camera the whole time, but he's naked, so I was into that, too. You know, it's a good season for the boys so far. Not to be a pervert, but, I mean...

You have what you have. You know what I mean? Okay, so they're talking boys and girls, and Johnny jokes about Harry. Okay, so they're all laughing. Then we go to the girls' car, and Serena's like, oh, my God, so far, the instant was Vian. I mean, wow. And they're like, oh, yeah, smile. Out of this world, Vian. And then back to the guys. Vian's like, I like Brie. I like Brie's smile. It's just so beautiful. And Harry's like, oh, you like Brie? Eww.

God. And Harry knows what has just happened. A guy has placed his mark and that's usually it. Once somebody says on the show, I like them, that's it. You're supposed to back off the person, boy or girl. That's generally how the rule works on this show.

Well, Harry has decided he doesn't care, which, you know, good for him because it's always made me crazy that it's like the first person to call. It's like shotgun, you know, shotgun. And then you automatically get the front seat. No, I wasn't prepared. So we'll pull you by the hair and grab you out of the front seat, throw you in the trunk and I'll sit in the front and you can call that unfair all you want to. But I'm just a slower speaker. Yeah, that's right. Just as for people who process slower.

So, Mian tells us, he says, you know, I'm here to meet my future wife, you know, like there's nothing about, you know, anyone else, but there's nothing about anyone else but Brie. And I'm definitely a hopeless romantic. My parents have been married for 32 years. And looking at that, it's definitely a goal of mine. So as much as I'm here to run a deck team, I'm also here to find my future wife. I'm like, yes, I'm here to find my future wife.

Nothing says future wife farm than being on a floating structure full of people who are running from the ghosts of their past.

No kidding. You're also on the wrong fucking show, man, to be like, I'm here to find a wife. This isn't The Bachelor. This is Below Deck. You are here to find some temporary putete. And that's it. That's all I want to hear from you. What does he think he's cast on? This is a show about people who live in a realm of impermanence. Okay? Yeah. These are people running away from their children that they dropped in Alaska and their heroin addictions. This is not for you to find a wife. You know what you're here to find? A maid.

I'm here to find a maid. If I'm on Below Deck, I'm going to say I'm here to find a maid. That's right. I'm here to find some tips on how to make my bed when I go back to land. That's what you're there for. What's a hospital corner? I'm here to find a hospital corner. Yes, yes. And someone does find the hospital corner later this episode, which is nice. So then we come back and Vihan is just talking about Brianna. And she's like, oh, when she walked in, I was like, holy moly.

So then Brie is saying... They're the exact same coloring. I just can't get over it. Do you see it now? They both have the exact same color skin and hair. It's just confusing to me. It looks like they were colored by the same Wii character designer. And it's just, I don't know why it bothers me, but it does. I just feel like that's like the most tenuous reason to like somebody is because they're the exact same hair shade as you. Because it's an odd hair shade, you know? Mm.

Unique-ish. I don't even know. It's like red, red-brown russet. Yeah, it's kind of like a brown crayon, but like with some copper in it. I don't know what you would call it. Russet. Yeah, I guess russet works. Copper feels right. So Brie is talking about the boys and she goes, I do have to say Harry's personality is out of this world. I'm like, which world are we talking about here? Because...

I haven't quite, this is our second season with Harry and I'm not sure if I've really picked up on his like out of this world persona at this moment. Well, you know, some people like goofballs, you know? I mean, maybe some people just have that desire for a mate that they know is going to be good at like skeeball.

Don't you think that's Harry? He definitely has Dave and Buster's energy. Yeah, he definitely has like whack-a-mole energy. Or like, I can squirt my gun right into the clown's mouth until the balloon explodes before anyone else. You know, maybe some people like that. I don't know. Yeah, maybe.

So they get to the other bar and everyone's dancing. It's fun. And then Lara hugs Harry and Harry is saying, Harry is again saying, Zorina's not too happy because of you, because you were messy to her and you like shattered her like nice night out. And I was like, oh,

I know, I heard. You know, I've known her for a long time and with all her bravado and deep down, you know, despite everything, deep down, she's still a huge bitch. Don't like her at all. But she's also very insecure. She needs people to support her. So if you want to be that person, it's not going to be me.

And Harry's like, we need to have a back. And she goes, yeah, we do that. Let's do that together. Shall we, Harry? Are your eyebrows on weird? Stop looking at me. All right. So then we go to Captain Jason. He's walking around the boat in like some silk. Not Hugh Hefner. What would you call it? I would call it like a silk, like retired and Palm Springs lounge singer robe.

Uh-huh. It's like the little robe that the guy wore in Big Business when he came out of the bathroom, sort of like the unspoken gay couple who's supposed to be hunting down the ratlifts, and then one guy comes out with his robe, and Rune shows up at the door. It's like that kind of robe.

Yeah, they're giving him this whole, like, I'm a sex kitten edit this year. I mean, I think he's a sexy guy and everything. I guess they give it to Captain Lee, too, where they're like the stud of the sea or whatever. Or when they give Captain Sandy her, like, look, I've got polyesters I'm dancing in. Whatever her edit is. I don't know what her edit is. Is it sexy or is it like...

I don't know, efficiency, you know. I'm into hugs. Hugs. But anyway, they're giving him this sex kitten thing and he's buying it. He's now buying it and he's in full sex kitten swing.

Although I think he had that robe last year, too. I think it's like, oh, I got this in the Philippines because I have a child there. I think it's part of his arc or something. Unfortunately, I can't get to my child because I crashed into the dock in the Philippines and no one's been able to dock there ever since. I'm so sorry, Peter. I just have this robe to remind me of my folly.

So now that everyone's dancing and having a fun time and Vian is watching Brie dance. He's like, oh my God, bro. She's so gorgeous. She has my hair color. And then Harry starts dancing with Brie. And then all of a sudden he plants one on. Well, he doesn't really plant one. He comes in for the kiss and she kisses him. I would say it was not a full like...

It was not a full-hearted kiss, but it was not necessarily a pull away. It was definitely more than he got out of Margot. But it was like a, I feel like her kiss to me said, okay, I'll give you this. I'm not sold on this, but I'll take the Costco sampler. Yeah. It was like we're drunk in a bar. We're dancing together. You kissed me. Okay, we're drunk. So I'm not going to slap you.

I kind of got out of it. But then it turns out she was like, wow, he kissed me. You know, so she's going to go with it.

So now they go back to the van. Meanwhile, the Greek dude is like, I may not be good at keeping boats, but I can dance. Hugs. Johnny, you're in a different club. What? What? Hello? Someone picked me up at the other club. Anyone? He's floating away. They're like, Johnny, you're floating away. You're dancing on a jet ski, Johnny. I did.

I did think it was funny. Like when Harry was kissing Brie that, that he cuts the V out and he's just like laughing. He goes, she does not belong with that man, which honestly, that was like very funny. It's like, well, it's true too. Yeah. I mean, I think I laughed at that. I was like, it's true.

Vian's like hot and he's actually so far appeared to be a relatively nice guy and he's like I'm kind of the whole package and then this lanky bro who looks like he's supposed to be in front of a used car dealership flapping in the wind he gets her what yeah so then he's like I worked out for this

Damn it. So then we get to the vans and Harry, Anthony, Serena and Vian are talking. And Serena's like, Harry, you had your plush, didn't you? And Vian's like, was there tongue involved? Come on, mate. And he's like, oh, I just think we made it. It's like, can we carry on? No, but like, you know what I mean?

And then in the other, um, in the other van, Brie's talking about it. And she's like, I mean, he was like very smooth. Like I didn't actually even expect it at all. And Marina's like, Oh, I love that. He was direct. I fucking love that. She's like, yeah, I love that attitude. Yeah.

That's Harry. Direct Harry. So then they get back to the boat and Harry is being chivalrous and helping Bree walk onto the boat because she's just a girl, you know. And then Lara and Harry are whispering and she's like, oh my God, she said she didn't expect it, but like she really enjoyed it and she thinks you're a great person. She instantly connected with your personality and all my eyebrows aren't wrong. Why is everybody asking me that? Yeah.

Is it wrong to have one on your upper cheek? So Serena's like, oh, to everyone, I'm going to bed. And then Adair comes in and she's like, guys, I found my nipple pad and it just fell through my shirt. And guess what I'm going to do? And then she just basically throws it and sticks it onto the ceiling. Yeah. Johnny wanted to. He's like, I want to stick it to the ceiling. And she's like, he's like, yes, yes, yes.

So now it's time to go to bed. And Johnny is going to his room that he shares with Anthony and Harry, which is just too many. And Anthony's like, so where's Harry? And then he farts. And Johnny's like, did you just fart, bro? Don't worry. I like it. Yeah. So it's the morning and people are walking around and...

And Vian's walking around shirtless. And Marina, I think, has the hots for Vian because she's like, oh, you're looking for a shirt, so you just fancy walking around like that. And Lara's like, hey, just walks around like that. Get back to work.

So Marina's like, oh, those eyes, that accent. Oh, my God. Vian is definitely sparking something inside of me. My plan here is just to work, but I'm human. I'm a woman. So who knows? I could have my fun. So then in the boys' cabin, Harry's like, I mean, it's just ridiculous. Three boys in one small cabin. Did you smell that fart? I've got to move. I've got to move.

So then he sees Brie in the kitchen. So it's like the morning after. How's he going to be? And he's like, did you sleep well? Nailed it. Nailed it. She's like, yeah. And then Jason and Zarina are chatting about last night. And it's just like patterns. She's saying everyone had a nice time and everything. And then...

And you can see her struggling not to tattletale, right? Because Serena knows that the captain thinks she's a mess, which is why she got a sous chef. So she doesn't want to look like a mess and be like, this guy's an asshole. So she's trying to not tell him. So she's like, I think everyone really enjoyed themselves, especially the people who got the chance to smoke alone all night while they were having a nervous breakdown inside. Rattled their teeth. But it was great. And he's like, good. Good to hear it. Damn it. Yeah. It's time.

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And then Lara comes up and then he's like, well, good morning. I did make you a coffee, but it's too late. I poured it out. I gave it to the Moray eel that's been hanging around below our boat. So she's like, oh, thanks. So then Harry and Brie are talking and he's like, so did you have a fun time last night? She's like, I did. Yeah, I didn't know the Seychelles had that much loveliness. There's people everywhere. She's like, are you into techno? A little bit. It depends on the vibe. I mean, if that's what we're going for, I'm into it, you know? I'm like,

This is a forever couple if I've ever met one. I mean, the techno bonding, really.

Who said that you can't find a white lot of folks? So I think it's not going to work out because he wouldn't even commit to saying that he liked techno. He was just trying to be like, whatever you like. Do you like techno? If you like techno, I like techno. I mean, if it's playing, I don't hate it. Do you like it? I love it. I love it. Do you love it? I love it too. He's very much that energy and she's just going, uh-huh. But I don't know. I don't see this one. I don't see this one taking off. No, I was being sarcastic. They're definitely not a forever couple and I

Really, in any sort of flirtation, the moment you ask, do you like techno? It's over. It's done. Well, if he had said something like, you know, I love ADM, but, you know, there are certain kinds I like, certain kinds I don't. I mean, David Guetta, that songwriting, you know what I mean? Something. But to just be like, I mean, I could take it. I could leave it unless you like it. What do you think? Do you like it? I love it. You like techno? You like techno? Yeah. So then Zarina and...

Zarina is talking to Jason and Lara and Zarina's like, so Harry had to crush on someone. He had a pash, which I guess is that like British slang, like a passionate moment. He had a pash. I kind of like that. I'm going to start saying that, but I'm going to say it in wrong places. Like, I'm going to go to the coffee shop. I'll be like, hi, I ordered a pash. Yeah. Just a cold brew.

Hi, can I have a pash on ice with a little half and half? I know that people aren't doing that right now, but I am. Keep your fucking oat milk to yourself, okay? Hand over the pash. Half and half is very pash because my friend said that half and half is romantic because it's two halves contributing to a whole. That's what I said. You said that? Yeah, a few weeks ago. We were talking about romantic foods. My most romantic was butter. Yeah.

So Zarina said, so anyway, they're talking about this. And then Vihan goes up to Bree and she's like, so how was your night? And she's like, it was good. You know, it's like, yeah. Was it unexpected because you kissed Harry? She goes, Harry kissed me. And he was like, oh, he's like, oh, I have a shot. And then she goes, but I kissed him back. He's like, oh,

So then I like that Vian was just like, Harry, I mean, come on, but there's still gorgeous girls on the boat. My plan is to see if there's chemistry elsewhere. I was like, wow, well, that's nice to hear. That's very unusual for below deck, you know? I know, right?

So then we cut to Adair squirting herself in the eye with cleaner. So she's doing great this season. Yeah. And then Vian's just like, sorry, Brie. Hey, goodbyes. But this one's on you.

So then Johnny and Harry are talking, and Johnny's trying to be bossy, but he does like Harry now. He likes the guys now. So he's trying not to overdo it. He's like, you want to start with small things like refill the drinks? And Harry's like, I wanted to get into the washing, maybe. And he's like, okay. And I was like, wow, look at Johnny controlling himself. I thought Johnny would throw him off the boat and be like, you listen to me.

but he didn't they really johnny really came into the season and he was like oh god this guy's gonna be the and he's been like fine he's been like yeah he you know i think he got really humbled by that whole jet ski situation but then we've seen him in the previews beating up the boat and screaming and being like or whatever he screams in the preview so we know it's coming but um yeah so far he's controlling himself but it turns out it was a different boat he wound up drifting out to sienna on the wrong boat um

He's like, wait a second. I'm not on Katina? Damn it! So Jason is talking to Zarina and asking how everything's going with the Sioux. And she's like, so with my Sioux chef, it's just like, he's been saying that he wants me to be cleaner and he has quite an ego. And he goes, all right, well, we have to work together. So you've got some managing to do, which is his way of saying like, okay, well, you probably should be cleaner. And

And also snap at him and remind him that you're the boss around here, right? Yeah. And he tells us every galley is full of egos with chefs. But at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And, you know, there's one head chef and there's a sous chef. And he needs to step in line and she needs to take control. That's it. That's all I want to hear.

So I can't wait to see how she's going to do it. Unfortunately, she does it like this. Hello, darling. Good morning. Good morning, my sweet little plump darling. Hello, my little cherub. Yeah, she really does. She really kind of is. She kind of steps into the role of like a parent who is completely overrun by their child.

because really, you know, really what she needed to do in the beginning was to say, I'm the boss around here. You're going to clean dishes. I don't know who the hell you are. And,

until I find out really what you're up to, whatever, you're going to help me in this way. You're here to help me right now. This is not a collaboration, but we can work towards it becoming that way. Like she should have just like, it sounds tough, but in retrospect, this guy sort of needs that because, you know, you give him a little bit. He's like, well, I wanted more responsibility. Oh, now I have all this responsibility. It's like, you're not even doing your job. Just

offloading things onto me. He's like never satisfied. So you just have to kind of like scold him and make him know what the rules are. And like, you don't try to be friends with them, make him try to earn your respect. Yeah. Because he's obviously worked with some tough chefs in the past. And now that you're not doing it, he's like, oh, I'm going to be the alpha and I'm going to win, you know? And it sucks. It sucks to have to kind of change your,

your management style to fit somebody else because especially i think as a woman it's like well why why should you have to be a stereotypical man to get any respect like he should just respect you but unfortunately it just doesn't work he's just not so change gears you know what i mean no more kissy on the cheek and more get to fucking work you fucking loafer you're never gonna make it in this business you're too short you know yeah same

I worked in many a kitchen. Listen, I've taken many a knife thrown at me. Okay. And that's how it works. Sorry. I still respect that man. I see, I see him. I see my last chef and I wasn't even a chef in that kitchen. I was a waiter and I'm still so scared of that man. Every time I see him, I'm like, hello, chef. Yes, chef. No chef.

Yeah, this guy is a total dick. And I kind of feel like he's acting like he basically is done with being a sous chef. He's now accomplished enough to be the main chef. And it's like, OK, well, if you have main chef energy, you would be a main chef already. So zip it and chop those cucumbers. Yeah, it makes me crazy that his his way of being better is by just dissing her behind her back the whole time. I think that's just so gross. And, you know, it's going to come to bite him because no one wants to work with that.

No chef is going to see that and be like, oh, you know who I want in my kitchen? That guy who's just going to talk shit about me so he can try and take my job. Like, exactly. Prick, this guy. Okay, that's enough about him. So now it's 7.15 a.m., five hours until charter. Marina's making beds. Bree has to clean irons, but she doesn't know how. Dun, dun, dun.

yeah so zarina is like okay i'm gonna go write a menu so she's like i'm gonna go into the room write a menu and she asks anthony to make a loaf of bread and makes put some nice flavors in it so you think great you're anthony you've been wanting to do more than just wash dishes you wanted to be creative so like now you can make a bread a bread and put flavors in it like this is your chance to start proving yourself

so well that's also his wheelhouse because he wanted to make the focaccia remember so like breads are his thing like he she's trying to play to his strengths yes and it's like i think it's like a kind thing she's like i'm gonna make the menu because he but he probably in his mind thinks like i'm the sous chef i should be part of this menu making challenge it's like i don't know what the rules are with chefs and sous chefs in terms of planning out a um

I mean, based off of Top Chef finales, it looks like the main chef does bounce ideas off of a sous chef. But whatever, she decides she's going to write a menu. And I think that he's pissy that he doesn't get to be part of the menu planning. Yeah, it's not a sous chef's job to write the menu. I mean, maybe in some places. I'm sure it works different in every place, depending on how many chefs you have in the kitchen or how many cooks you have in the kitchen and stuff like that and how much help you need. But in general, no, that's not his job.

So then we got it on top of that, by the way, on top of that, when we see it in a top chef finale, when they bring the eliminated chefs in to be like, quote unquote, sous chefs. Also in those situations, the people all know each other. So like there's a certain level of trust that has been built up over several weeks of playing top chef and knowing like, actually, because I know you and trust you, I'm going to welcome you into my creative process. But like she doesn't know this guy. He just came in and has been a brat and complaining the whole time. So, sir, wash those dishes.

So now we go to Harry and Vian, and Harry's asking if he can change rooms. He's like, can I move into your room? It's a huge fart. It's still in the other one. It's a Sioux fart. It's very, very, very, very, very bitchy. It's a very bitchy fart. His fart keeps telling my fart is better than it. And I just can't abide by that.

And Vian, because as we've seen through all his behavior this season, is such an asshole. He's like, yeah, sure, absolutely. Yeah, it sounds great. This guy is kind of like, it's weird. He's like, he's gave up his solo room. He like moved on when the girl he was interested in was interested in someone else. He decided not to like compete for her and move on somewhere else. I don't understand it. He's like, nice.

He is, and I'm not even – usually I get some kind of a tinge of, oh, this person's really an asshole, but they're just pretending to be nice. Or like, oh, wow, he's too nice. I don't trust it. He's really an asshole. But I actually trust that he's nice. So I guess my question is to casting, have you given up? I mean, have you run out of terrible men? This is below deck. I know that normally I'm complaining about how many terrible men there are on this show, but you're below deck. You can't just change your flavor, okay? New Coke. I'm like –

He has a good body, nice smile. He's considerate. And he gave up his solo room for the guy who took the girl he was interested in.

Yeah. Something's not computing. There must be five children in Florida. That's what I've got to say. There's five children in Florida needing their Capri Suns. So then Harry's like, I'm feeling so good this morning. I've got an extra pep in my step. I kissed a girl. I kissed not only a girl, a model and not some Instagram model and some OnlyFans model, an actual tall person.

Sorry, Larissa Pippen. Earmuffs. Larissa Pippen's like, I modeled for Butthole Bleach. There's so many people on social media who are upset right now. Like, excuse me, I'm like a real model. So I just love Harry's like cheery shade that he just...

admits to all these people so he's like "I know I'm moving in with Vian, Vian which I really think is gonna help so like we can get closer and hopefully I can become lead deckhand just by being near him and then when he hears me having sex with the girl that he likes he could be like 'you get a promotion!' he'd be great and I kissed the girl Vian was into but like he seems pretty cool with it so I don't know hopefully it's all professional there's no hard feelings I've just got the girl it's no big deal"

Okay, well, let's remember that when he steals her back in about two seconds. And I don't even mean steal. I mean, she's probably going to be like, um, hi, save me. Just remember that he was very professional and nice to you. Okay, because I sense a lot of tears coming. So then we go to sit again. If Harry comes back.

Harry might die of thumb poisoning. So then we go to Marina and Brie cleaning and Brie's like, do you think I should bring the kiss up to Harry? Shouldn't we talk about it? Why isn't he bringing it up? We need to talk about the kiss. And Marina's like, no, here's what you do. You just say, yeah, I had a great time, especially when you kissed me. That's how you normally do a girl. I like when my guys take initiative, like,

I mean, it was kind of amazing today when he said he kind of liked techno music. I mean, that was something, right? Yeah.

And this leads to Brianna's great backstory. She says, when I was 21, I was working in the Caribbean and that's where I met my ex. And we see a blurred out face on an amazing body. And he treated me like a queen. It looks like Harry. I mean, maybe the guy's done more sit-ups and stuff, but it was exactly Harry. I think that Harry is her type. It's like a tall string beanie kind of a guy. Tall string beanie. But this guy had like a lot of abs.

And she's like, yeah. And about six months later, we got engaged. And I just didn't expect to kiss... Oh, she's saying she didn't expect to kiss anyone last night. Then she says, my ex is originally from Amsterdam and wanted to move to America and start a life there. And I grew up in a very small town in New Jersey. It's just like all farms and you know everybody. And they just show all these pictures of her not on a farm. And she's like, and if you go to Jersey, there's just...

There's just no going back. And at that point in my life, I just didn't want to be confined to Jersey with some Dutch guy. So even though he had abs, I decided I was going to sail the seas.

I love that backstory for her. I like that she was like, I'm not marrying this fucking weirdo. I'm going to be stuck in Jersey forever. See, I'm cleaning toilets in the Down Under, suckers. Go girl. I know. She's like, I had a hot guy who actually treated me well. I was like, I'm sorry, ma'am. I was just looking over your resume. I'm afraid you're not going to be cut out for below deck. We need a hot guy who treats you terribly and you're afraid of repeating the cycle. And then you say you're not going to repeat the cycle and then you do repeat it.

here on the season of blow deck so unfortunately since you were you just came from a healthy relationship we're gonna have to ask you're not qualified we've already got a happy man on this show we cannot have a happy woman as well please this is you're gonna ruin the show this is bravo calling you are taking the ship down we're gonna need a more toxic attitude towards relationships thanks so much i actually found this so refreshing that she was like you know what i could i had everything and i was like no i want to vacuum a boat

Goodbye, mother. Goodbye, father. Goodbye, Sven. She's like, I'm not going back to Tom's River, New Jersey. So anyways, so now it's 8 a.m. And it's four hours until the charter.

It's not 8 a.m.? It's 8.02 a.m. Please, this is Below Deck. I'm so sorry. Let's stay on schedule here. Sorry, I was swept away by all these non-traditional Below Deck elements that I actually thought a scene started actually at the top of the hour and not two minutes after. It's a completely different time. The stars are in different places, Ben, okay? So it's crew meeting time and it's preference sheet meeting. So here we go, Chaw to two. Here we go. Is this robe making anyone uncomfortable? No.

Kind of. All right. Well, just roll with it. I'll get a cotton one for next time. Now, listen, Eric is an entrepreneur, investor, brand and performance transformation coach, which means douchebag. Does everybody understand? Yeah. Performance transformation coach. That is that is just a formal synonym for douchebag.

and Lara's like, "Oh, the boys have nice teeth. I wonder if they'll notice my eyelash that's on my chin." So Jason says, "On day one, Eric and his group would like a sunset cocktail session on the beach before dinner on board, and they would also like to indulge in local cuisine." So we're going to make some, say, Shelean food. Yeah, and so far I like them because they're not asking for anything stupid, right? They're not like, "We'd like a clown prom, a clown drag prom." You know? Yeah. So far it sounds normal. So day two, they want

Three of his guests. I don't know. And Jason's like, well, I might join. Oh, they're going to go diving. And Jason's like, well, I might join that dive party with Harry. Righto. Thank you very much, everybody. Let's get to it. Douchebag alert. So at first I was like, maybe they're not so bad because they didn't ask for something stupid. And that's kind of my dream on Below Deck is to not have to sit through costume parties. I hate those.

Yeah, same. So then we go to the galley and Anthony is wiping a counter. So Zarina walks in and she goes, sorry, I always sit up on the counters. I know you probably hate it. And then she sits on the counter and he's like, yeah, I do. Okay, so they want to do like canapes cocktails at sunset before dinner. So I thought if you want to go, do you want to go and just get off the boat? How about that? And he's like, yeah, yeah.

Okay, then. You're welcome. You're going to have a great time. And she's freaking out. Her mind is racing because she doesn't know how to manage this guy. And she just wants him to do his job. And it's too early in the charter season. And she wants Jason to see that she can manage. And she's like, I'm going to make sure we're better than we've ever been. Hit him. Hit him. That's it. That's it. Get like a stalk of lemongrass and just start...

Slap him on the cheek.

So it's something that won't hurt, but it makes a point. So then Adair is talking about nail polish and now there's a stew meeting. And basically Laura is like, all right, so we have a group of guests coming in. Marina, just a few things from my side. I love your energy. And, you know, sometimes just remember to take a breath. Just calm down. Stop sleeping in submarines when we put you on a submarine. I think that'd be really nice. And just be like chill.

You just want this too much. It's a little cringe to watch. You know, it's basically like Sabrina staring at a mailbox on Valentine's Day. I just need less cringe from you. All right. She's like, OK, got it. So she's going to change their positions to see how Marina does in service. And she's going to send Brie now down to laundry. Right. Or it's the other way around.

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♪ Commercials, here comes one right now ♪ So it's time for provisions. Provisions are coming in. Boxes are arriving in the galley. Zarina's like, okay, if you need me, I'm gonna be doing menus in my cabin. And then Anthony's like, he's like all mad. He drops a box of meat and he gets all fussy. And he's like, oh, oh.

I don't want to be taken advantage of here. I'm organizing. I'm putting provisions away. I'm doing guest food, crew food, cleaning the galley. I'm just doing everything. I just want to work as a team. Is it that hard? Oh gosh, doing everything. Okay, you're like, you're not doing it all at once and you are the Sue and as much as you think you're doing everything, she's doing more.

And he gets a break while she's in there cleaning and cooking her ass off. So it's so ridiculous. I'm glad they put that all on camera, too. While he's taking his break later, she's trying to get another job, mind you. She's in there cleaning her ass off his station. She's cleaning his station, which he left unclean. So.

And also I'd like to point out the reason why he's doing things like guest food is because he had enough of a temper tantrum that she added that onto his pile of stuff to do because really what he's supposed to be doing is the provisions and the organizing and crew food and then the cleaning. They're both doing the cleaning.

So then he like goes up to her door and he's like, can I have a question? I mean, obviously, if I'm doing a bit quite a bit of guest food, would it be all right to like have a little hand putting deliveries away and shit? I just don't want to get to the point where it's like doing cleaning and deliveries and guest food as well and the crew food. And I just don't want to suffer like some sort of burnout just yet.

Bro, all you've got to say is, hey, I'm so sorry. I know you're doing the menus, but it turns out there's like way more provisions than I was expecting. Could you help me out a little bit just so I can get a jumpstart on the stuff for this afternoon? He is purposely getting on the record that he's doing everything and she's doing nothing. And he's waiting until she goes into her room and she's on break and her hair is down that he can confront her on camera to make it look like she's a nothing, you know?

And so she's like, and this, I loved this. I think this is the perfect way to deal with him. And she's like, oh, well, doing guest food is optional. So if you do it and that makes you happy, then you have to find the time to do it. So I love that because she's like, I'm giving you guest food because you were crying for the first 10 hours on the boat because I didn't give you anything to do. So now I'm letting you.

Like, what more do you do? You don't get to just take over my job, dude. If you want to do that, that's extra credit. Do your other shit first because that's what you're here to do. So I like that.

And then she says, would you rather we give the canapes to the stewardesses and then you can go have a two hour lie down? She's basically saying you don't have to go to the beach. You can make the food and then you can have a break, you know? And he's like, no, no, no. I'm just more than happy to work. It's just, it's a bit extreme of like doing something like that. And then having a lie down, like, yeah, I thought the lie down comment was a bit patronizing. It's like, well, actually what's patronizing is you coming in and saying,

saying like i'm doing all the work and what are you doing basically and by the way jason's listening in to this entire thing yeah and she's like it's not though because you're going to have breaks so we're just getting through the first few charters and you can you're gonna be getting breaks he's like okay well sorry for what's the neurotic sorry for that so i have a bit so neurotic she's like all right so jason hears that and he's like keep an eye on that don't don't don't

So then we see cleaning and prepping and all that good stuff. And then Anthony's on break. So the first thing he does is call his friend to bitch. And he's like, I'm not dead. I'm not dead and sad. Not a bit in fact. I'm a little bit insulted. You know what I mean? I'm struggling to get on with her. Awkward character. She's just so awkward. I can't work like this. Oh, you can't work with awkward people? Have you met yourself, weirdo? Yeah. He's around her door a little bit more, complaining that you can't put away a fish.

It's also your second charter, bro. Like, you've been on this boat for, like, four days, and you're already, like, throwing in the towel. You're already being a diva and artiste about this. He's like, working in dirty galley, putting up dirty food. I'm just caught within, like, a weird situation for me to be in. You're not putting out dirty food, and it's not a dirty galley. Relax. Because she left...

Like, okay, is she necessarily the tidiest chef? Maybe not, but there's a difference between tidiness versus cleanliness. Like, you know, tidiness to me implies as you cook, you know, you clean as you go along. And untidy, which is a little bit how I cook,

is that you cook, and then when something's on the stovetop bubbling away, then you go and you wash things, whatever. So for a moment there, you have things that kind of pile up around the station, but it's not unsanitary and unclean. It's just like a little unkempt until you kempt it up. I don't care if she is dirty. It's his job to clean it up. So if the kitchen is dirty, that's on you. So I don't know who you're complaining to.

So then Harry is going to, oh, basically then he texts his friend. Because his friend is like a chef, I think. So his friend doesn't give a shit. He's just like, okay, bye. He doesn't care. So then they hang up and Anthony texts his friend. He's like, do you know any boats hiring? I just don't think it's for me working here.

So then we go to Harry and Vian's room and Harry loves the room. You know, there's less farts. So he likes it. And then we cut to Serena cleaning while guess what? Her sous chef is doing, taking a break. Oh my God, the whores call the police. Yeah. So everything's clean. Everything's nice. And then Johnny is talking to Harry and Harry's like, do you miss me? And Johnny's like, what do you mean? And Harry's like, I've moved out. Do you not miss me? He's like, I think it's for the best. More space for everyone, but...

I'll always think of you, Harry. And I was like, whew. In my dreams. In my dreams, that's what happened. So then main salon meeting, and now the charter group is approaching. And Serena's like, oh, they're all very cool, aren't they? Because the guys are like, yeah, bros. Like, we work out. They're like lifting deck pieces, you know? It's like, oh, yeah, we're bros.

And then Adair is like, yeah, they're going to be a bunch of Bitcoin gamer boys. So here we come. Here comes the primary. His name is Eric Rock. And he's from Idaho. Cora Delane, Idaho. He's an entrepreneur, influencer, and life coach. He's got 119,000 Instagram followers, which is kind of a funny thing to include in this section. And he always has a videographer on hand for all those 119,000 people who care about every moment of

this douchebag's life. Yeah. So they're like, wow, one of them is already red and he looks like he's sunburned. So they're kind of making fun of the crew already, which I, or the,

the guests already, which I like. And so they come on board and they get the tour and all that stuff. And Adair's like, oh my God, I'm so excited to have guests from the States. Like the people in Georgia, like if I told them I was an entrepreneur and a life coach, they would look at me like I am talking crazy. And then I would throw a nipple, a nipple cover at their face. Cause who talks to me like that? I have 119,000 followers. So.

And then I'd hope someone would abduct me. And then it turns out they actually didn't abduct me. They just brought me to a yacht. So, um, then Zarina and Anthony are preparing the canapes and Zarina's like trying to make like jokes about, you know, rodeo stuff. Like she's just trying to like keep it light, keep it fun. And he's like, pfft.

So then there's a tour of the boat and Lara's like, oh, by the way, your boat has a very unsafe and scary balcony that has no rails and you can put it down if you ever want to fall off of it while we're motoring somewhere. So she lowers the boat, this little, it's like a little boat erection that comes out, a little platform that comes out the side.

She tells Jason on radio that she'll put it back up when she's done. So then she radios, instead of putting it back up, she radios Vian to do it. But Vian is pooping. So sorry, he doesn't hear it. So now it's time to depart the dock. But then the balcony's down. Why is the balcony open? Get somebody down there on the balcony immediately. And then poor Bree runs down to do it. It's Bree, right? And she's like, okay, I'm doing it. Oh my God, how do you do this? I'm pressing it. It's not happening.

Oh my god, Brogan, the balcony is still down! She can't figure out how to do it. So finally, I think it's, is it Adair who comes in, or someone comes in, and, oh, Vian comes in. I don't know who does. Someone comes in to help her, and...

Adair. It's Adair. And she's like, you just have to hold it down. The balcony goes back up again. I just want to point out also, Vian was not pooping because that door was open. So I don't think he was pooping with that door open. I think he was just like peeing and he took off his radio and was irresponsible. And we all know, never take off your radio. So this was on him. And even if he was pooping, he should have that radio nearby. You should especially have the radio nearby if you're pooping because you know you're spending probably five minutes away from that radio, if not longer.

Okay. So Vian's like, I'll keep my radio on next time. Sorry. So Vian's like, I don't know what the fuck she was thinking opening up that door. And Lara's like, yeah, balconies are a great feature to this tour. So of course I'm going to put the balconies down. I mean, and now she's taking all the blame for not telling anybody to put it away when she did, but nobody heard her. So she didn't cry. So that's good. Because, you know, she gets stressed easily. Yeah.

But he's like, OK, so here's his most dickish moment is that he on the radio, he's for everyone to hear. He goes, Laura, next time when you're opening up a door on this boat, you got to let you got to let me and the captain know. And where was she to say, all right, I did let you know. And you never you never did what I asked you. Like, where was the response? You know, like if this were a Kate, a Hannah or a Daisy, I guarantee there would have been a clap back on the radio. And I'm honestly I'm disappointed in Laura because of that.

Yeah, I think she was just being professional and not fighting over the radio because they were like under stress to get off the dock because, you know, they're all about to die, Ben. Come on. Yeah, that's true. That's not the time. But I hope it's coming later. And I don't think it ever came, which is really weird. So because I really expected more from Laura. Like I really expected some acid tongue from Laura and she's not giving it to us yet. Maybe so. Maybe it needs to build up. Maybe we need to fill up the battery before she can start like...

Letting loose that acid tongue. So now they're going out to sea. And so this guy, he just has his videographer. And, you know, the thing that cracked me up was at one point, I think it was around here. He comes walking up the staircase. The videographer is behind him and he's like getting the calves, get the calves, get the calves, make sure you get the calves. Yeah. You got to get the calves, man.

And so they're getting pictures and he's like, no, I need you to like, I need you to like get it where the boat's moving. Like it doesn't matter if like you don't see the boat moving. Come on, Calden or whatever his name is. He's like, come on, Colton. Jesus. Listen, this is a rock speaking to a Colton. Consider yourself lucky. Get the boat moving in front of my calves. Okay. For this all important Instagram documentary that's going to be scored by Imagine Dragons. Yeah.

So they bring up the snack trays and everything. The crew's getting into their blues because they're going to bring them to the beach at 4.30. So Zarina and Anthony are in the galley.

And they have this big octopus. And Serena goes, are you good at cooking octopus? He goes, yeah, I've cooked it a few times. She goes, fancy doing some octopus for tonight's dinner. It's for a curry. And he's like, yeah, I'll just sevee it. And then we can finish it in the pan, all right? So you would think he'd be excited because she wasn't even going to give him guest food until, you know, later in the season. And now he's getting to cook a big old protein, like a sort of a,

an Instagrammable protein, no less. And he's just like, okay, sure. Like he doesn't say, oh, wow, I'm starting to realize like she is giving me opportunities. She is trying to make it work with me. No, no reflection like that whatsoever. And then he's like, so how much do I cut here? Because it's quite a bit. And she's like, well, everyone gets two legs. And he says, tentacles, right? Tentacles. She's like, oh God, you know what I mean? You did a fuck.

He's such a little fucking brat. Also, I have to say that I don't think that... I don't know that sous vide octopus and then put in the pan sounds very good. That sounds nasty and slimy to me. Just put it in the pan. Yeah. I'm not a chef, though. But that doesn't sound good. Octopus is so weird. I've actually never cooked it. But what I've heard about octopus is that you either cook it for two minutes...

Like hi, like really like just like quick in and out or you have to cook it for like 45 minutes So it's like really really soft and tender So maybe the sous vide like helps it 10 gets like really really soft and like a delicate bite and then you just know I don't care. I fucking hate this guy and I want whatever method we all know We all know sous-vide on Bravo does not work So the moment that he said he was gonna see via we should have known that justice would be served to him Yeah

so now it's water sports time. And then, um,

what's her buns brie is going to be sent to the beach and so now the people are going to the beach and serena's like okay you need to get going anthony's like oh god i'm trying to put on my shirt he's trying to put on one of those like wetsuit shirts thing yeah he puts it on shirt things he puts it on so strangely uh like this was so bizarre the music actually slowed down it was like do you see how he put it on he put it on and it like sort of

draped down over his arms. So he was like a straight jacket. And then he brought his arms back up into the shirt to get into the sleeves, which is such a strange way to do it. You would think you either go sleeves first or head first, but instead he just sort of trapped himself in the shirt and then squirmed up into it. I've never seen anyone get into a shirt like that before. Is it wetsuit material? Is that what it's made of? They made it look like it was like right here.

It's just like, it's probably like a wick. That's how I imagine the sound is putting it on. But I've never seen anybody else put it on with trouble. So I don't know. I've just never seen someone put on a shirt like that, regardless of material. It was just the strangest thing. It was like...

Like he had his hands down by his thighs while the shirt was all around him. And then he decided that's when he was going to try to put his arms into the armholes. Like, sir, if you cannot have the precision in putting your arms into the armholes when the shirt first comes on, we cannot trust you with the precision of cooking foods. Yeah. So then they get to the beach and he's putting these canapes on kind of charcuterie boards.

And so Bree's like, oh, are we going to put these on the table? He's like, no, no, it's canapes. So you put it on a board and serve it. And she's like, okay. But I can see why she asked that. Because that looked like a heavy ass thing to be passing. I was like, okay. Fuck him. Sure, why not? Fuck him and his choice of boards. Yeah, I just didn't. I was like, don't treat her like she's stupid for asking. It's a big ass board. It's a heavy board. You know, here's a log. Pass that around. Like, ow. Yeah, I mean, bro, you're the one who put on the shirt like that. Okay, so we're going to question everything you do now.

So, um, the board goes around and Anthony tells us, I'm super happy with the way these canapes have turned out. And I'm like really glad to showcase my personal cooking style. Modern, with worldly flavors and a bit more thought and passion into it. Whereas Zarina's cooking is a little bit more basic with an edible flower on top. Okay, sir?

You need to calm down. Now, I'm not arguing that your canapes look delicious. They did look delicious. But if you think you're special because your culinary point of view is modern with worldly flavors, go fuck yourself because that's not a thing. Well, also, I love that he's like, she's so basic. And then they're like, and now compressed watermelon. It's like, oh, wow. Congratulations. You're really changing the world with that one. Congratulations, you paired watermelon and feta.

So then back on the boat, Harry is putting the jet skis away, but then he starts struggling and then he starts yelling. It's like, oh my God, look down, look down, look down, look down here. And it's commercial break. And when we come back, he's been swallowed by a whale. No, just kidding. He's dead. Yeah. He crushed his thumb actually. He didn't just hurt it. I mean, this is nasty. This is some nasty work showing us this.

This was the worst thing that we saw in Bravo since Kristen Taichman had a toenail situation on Girls Trip, which is that Harry, something happened with his thumb, and then he releases his hand, and there's something dangling from his thumb. I'm like, is that the rest of the thumb? Is that a thumbnail? I don't know what it was, but I was like, ooh. It was his thumb. And then it was like, what? It was his thumbnail. Yeah, it was his nail. And I just was like, at this point, my hands were over my face. I was like, I don't think I can do this right now.

And it was really, really intense. Yeah, it was really gross. And so the doctor comes and basically the doctor's like, you don't have fingernail. You can get staph infections. I'll try. If it hurts, go to the hospital. He's like, hey, wait a minute. She's like, do you like techno music? He's like, if you do. She's like, I'm done with you. So then...

Meanwhile, upstairs, Vian's talking to Eric and he's like, "So what sort of shows? Do you have shows that people can go to?" And Eric's like, "Yeah, I do a coaching program to really awaken the leader inside you. I coach hundreds of people. And what's the secret? How come some people figure it out? How come most don't? And my natural success led me here, a man with calves who has a videographer filming the calves."

You need better, you need a better facelift there. Find, find that self help. So then, um, uh,

We go to the guests and they're coming back to the boat and Jason welcomes them back and all that good stuff. And Harry's being taken care of. And can he use his hand? And Harry's like, well, I mean, I can use my hand, but it's going to be like hard. And so Vianne's like, oh no, I'm quite worried about Harry and his thumb. He's in pain. This is really going to affect the team massively. He might be gone. Done, done, done. So now we're waiting to see if Harry's thumb is fractured.

Or if it just is completely crushed with this poor guy. And meanwhile, I'd like to point out another fun thing that one of the guests said when they were on the beach. The guy, Eric, was, I guess, they're eating some steak or something like that. And he's like, yeah, man, I'm just about that rare lifestyle. But he doesn't say the joke. He's like serious. Like, guys, I just eat rare. I'm about a rare lifestyle. Yeah.

This is the sort of guy that like, I guarantee somewhere in New Jersey, Louie, Louie is watching him and like, oh yeah. He's like jerking off the screen right now. Like this guy is signing up to Eric Rock seminars five times over. So then we go to the galley and Anthony's like, oh, I got someone to take some bins. Oh wait, I'm sorry. Oh no. I forgot to take the bins out. And oh God,

Oh no, the bag split. The octopus bag split. It might have to be off the menu tonight. The bag split and all the hot water got in and boiled it and I shrunk it quite a lot. We're going to have to swap it with something else. So good luck with that.

Yeah, well, thanks for destroying the centerpiece protein with your fucking sous-viding that you didn't even do right. And you didn't take out your bins. And I'm surprised. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't blame him not all this stuff on Zarina. Saying, well, if I didn't have to do all these things, if I had more rest, I would have been more on top of it. But, you know, you're working me so hard. I'm going to have to clean up after you. I'm going to have to do all your prep. I'm going to have to do all the crew food.

So, but she's like chill about it. And she tells us though, you know, I was an arrogant sous chef years ago and I walked onto a head chef that really humbled me and it took five years to get his respect. And I've done the grunt work and I expect my sous chef to do the same because it's slow and steady and painful race. And he isn't as good as he thinks. And she's exactly right. That's the point is that like, you may think you're great, but you have to put in that time and you have to put in that effort. And like, maybe he has with other chefs, but not with her. So he's got to prove himself to

So she switches it out with a plantain and she decides to make it like kind of a side dish. So then Jason calls Vion to the bridge to ask about Harry. And Jason thinks that Harry might not be able to deal this, you know, but, you know, Harry should be at a level to know, but teach him and educate him along the way how to be safer.

So then the guests are getting ready for dinner and it's about time to eat. And we see the poor stews climbing 270 stairs to serve this food. And they do. And then we get Eric's prayer. The prayer of Eric Rock. He's like, I'm so blessed to be gifted with great looks and leaving a valuable mark in this world.

The amount of people I've left with syphilis has been absolutely staggering. Thank you, Lord. Life's really short. So stay on your purpose for the rest of the time. Amen, you guys. The hot person. You sign the hot person. Thank you. Amen from a man.

He is, I'm so glad I really got to leave a mark on this world. You know, I'm not sure Instagram would survive without videos of my calves going upstairs. So you're welcome. Thanks for making me hot, God. Thank you. Thanks, God. Thanks, God, for allowing me the opportunity to get footage of this yacht going out of the dock. Guys, hold on. P.S. This is a P.S. to God. God, I would like to pray for the poors.

Because Tommy's are so big that it's hard for me to concentrate. Please fix his pores. He's going to look terrible on my Instagram. Thanks, bro. Amen. I do hope. I do. God, I pray for world peace and an end to poverty because when people are impoverished, they can't be on the gram. See my cats living that rare lifestyle.

So then we go to Johnny singing in Greece, in Greek. And he's like, life is what you do. He's singing songs from Zorba. And then he's like, Harry is very experienced, but there's something. We cannot push him to do stuff. And that's okay. I'll step up and take one for the team as well. Yes, Johnny, you do it. Unfortunately, Johnny, while he was having this monologue, he did float out to sea and took him three days for them to find him on that little raft.

So then we go to the galley and Vian is saying, "Hey, so did you guys have a rest today?" And Anthony's like, "No." He's like, "Well, how are we going to work around that? You guys need to get rest." And Zorani goes, "Well, it will be possible. And like I said to Anthony yesterday, you can either go to the beach or let the stew set up the canapes and you can lie down for two hours." And he goes, "I'm not complaining." She goes, "No, I know you're not." And Anthony's like, "But it's always on me, innit? Christ."

She's like, oh, Jesus. My God, you're the one always bitching at her. What are you even talking about? And he said, did you get rest today? And you went, no. So, yeah, it is on you. So she's like, but I didn't say it's your fault. Is that how you feel? And he's like, yeah. At this point, I'm just a bit over it. I mean, Serena's not a great manager. And if I'm honest, I don't respect her as a chef and I don't feel like I'm being treated as a human. So I'm going to leave because I can't take any more of this bullshit. I hope he gets the most abusive chef of all time for his next chef. He would need some karma.

he actually he would like that he he is someone who wants to be yelled at i think and not like in life i'll never say blame the victim but in cooking i will say that this is this is the sort of douchebag that like will get off on that like hyper masculine like you because he should go with the douche bros that's who he should be he really should look i

I do think Zarina was being a little passive-aggressive in this moment, but as is her right, because he's been passive-aggressive this whole time. And this whole bullshit, this is such a thing we always see on Below Deck, of the youngins always saying...

I just don't think they're, they're just not managing me properly. And I'm not inspired. I'm not being treated with respect. You have to earn that respect. Okay. You know, like there's what part of someone being a boss and you being an underling says that you were, you are granted all, all the keys to the kingdom. Right. Right.

So now the next morning, Vihon wants to send Marina diving. Right. So he's like, well, she has a driving course with Jason. Can she go? And she's like, okay, yeah, if you want to send her. But no one bothers to ask Laura, who's kind of the boss of Marina. So I didn't even think about that when it happened. But I was like, damn. At first I thought, well, that's nice, you know, to give Marina a chance to get off the boat. Yeah.

But then later we find out it's not so nice. It's not so nice. So then the guests love their dinner. And they're like, well, did you like the dessert? And the main guy is like, yeah, I mean, I'm rich. Oh, it was too rich? No, I'm rich. Loved it. Thank you for making me rich. Yes!

Eric has this really interesting anecdote to share. He says, when a wolf is injured in the wild, the first thing it does is stop eating. So I just started applying it. First thing I do if I don't feel good, I stop eating and I won't eat again until I feel good.

First of all, you're not a wolf. Second of all, congratulations. It's called being sick. Everyone kind of stops eating. No one really has an appetite when they feel really sick. And third of all, stop being such a cliche of a douchebag, bro. I mean, really? Like trying to adopt a wolf lifestyle. I cannot. Who are you? You're not Nell. We look like wolves. Wolves, the most profitable beast in the kingdom. Okay.

So Eric goes to bed and then we go to Vian and Marina and he offers her the possibility of going on the dive. And she's like, fuck yeah, I want to go. What? What? And she starts like throwing around sheets. She's so excited to go. It's like a gorgeous man came to me and said, do you want to go? You want to go dive? Fuck yeah, I do. Gorgeous man. I don't know. I'm just a woman.

listen i feel like i've seen a few horror movies about that that start out this way hot guy says let's go on a scuba dive and the next thing you know congrats you're stranded at sea plus she'll probably take a nap while she's down there so then um brie and harry are talking and brie brie is you know checking in on her and he's worried that his his thumb may be fractured because it still hurts

And then Zarina goes up to Jason and she's like, you know, there's a lot of tension happening in the galley and he won't let me manage him at all. He goes, I'm going to wash up here and I'm going to go do this and I'm going to do that. Then I'm going to go to bed and I'm his head chef and I'm head of department. And he's literally managing himself. Jason's like, well, if it's not working for you, why don't you just move on?

I didn't know that she could do that. That's cool. He's like, then fire him. She's like, oh, well, I don't know. I want to see how he is tomorrow. I'm going to try the hello, darling approach and see if that works. And so he's like, yeah, you know, it doesn't matter how good you are as a sous chef. You know, he's disrespectful. So I think this is the wrong guy.

So then... I'm sorry, was this before or after the moment when Anthony was like singing a song in the corner while he was cleaning? Did you catch that moment? It was so quick. Or he's like, clean, clean, all I do is clean. I'm the one who cleans, clean, clean. It wasn't even like that. He was like, first you put

the pot hey then you clean it do this and then you clean it do this and then you clean it it was to me like a very passive aggressive message to zarina to tell her you need to clean up more i was like fuck this guy trying to send messages to his song in the corner fuck this guy's musical male anguish musical passive aggression misogyny the musical

So then Harry and Lara are talking and also Harry, Lara and Vian are talking. And so they're just making small talk and stuff. She's like, oh, God, Marina had a great day in housekeeping today. He goes, yeah, I've sent her for diving tomorrow. And she's like, who? He goes, Marina, you know. And she goes, but who am I supposed to have in the morning? Like, Adair. Yeah.

And she's like, but to do all the cabins, how am I going to do it? Just breathe. He's like, oh shit. Well, I already told her. It's like, yeah. She's like, well, I mean, you told who? She goes, Marina. She's like, okay. Marina is a qualified diver and I get it. But Vihan, you're taking one of my TCUs diving for the afternoon without even discussing with me. Like, what are you thinking? And I was like, okay, she's going to, she's going to let him have it now. Or she's going to be really like cold or she's going to do something. And she was like,

Well, as long as she's here when they're having breakfast and she can get into the cabins. I was like, ugh.

Yeah, she needs a little. She needs to at least be like, yeah, that's my department. You can't take people from my department without asking me. Please don't do that again or something. But she's just like, I'm just going to bite my tongue. And I was like, OK, well, then swallow the rage, but let it build. Please do not let the rage go. I need the rage to build and build until you scream and yell and then become super, super mean and sarcastic and snarky for the rest of your years on this show. Thanks.

Remember, ma'am, you are following in the footsteps of some very strong stews. And before I listed three, but how could I, of course, miss out on our favorite Faye? Because Faye would not stand for any of this. No, there's no time for scuba diving. The girls need to get into hair and makeup. Curls, I want banglets coming down the front, bun in the back. No time for scuba.

Well, I hope you don't mind, but I have styled all your boys this morning with eyeliner, lip liner, and lipstick. Because what deck crew is complete without lipstick? You'd be like, excuse me, that's my crew. Well, I guess we've already crossed those lines. Too late to rewind. Can't rewind history, can we? Curl the hair, boys. Miss Faye's Fishing School.

So everyone goes to sleep, but Harry, his thumb hurts, which understandable. I feel so bad for Harry. He cannot go to sleep. It is. I mean that whatever happened down there, it's still not totally clear, but like obviously something came up and crushed him. But like, oh my goodness, his, he is, he is in such pain and he can't, he can't sleep. And I'm like, I don't, this guy needs to go to the hospital.

So he does. He's like, it hurts too much. I think it's fractured. So he has to go to the hospital. So then Anthony comes into the kitchen. Fractured! So Anthony's like, good morning. And she's like, hello, darling. So I think the other morning it worked quite well with you doing the sausage and bacon, the fruit platter. He's like, whatever. Okay, then. So now he's doing the

I'm breaking up with you. So I'll just make you happy in the interim sort of a thing. So then Harry and Jason are talking and that's when he has to go to the hospital. Okay. So then the guests are doing pushups on the deck and they're like, oh my God, another one sees a guest doing pushups. Oh yeah. And he jumps down and starts doing pushups. Just like a wolf.

Just like wolves do. Yeah, just like wolves do. And then the girl's like, not doing pushups, but I will stand at the edge of the boat and do this with my hands really big. And she starts like pushing up her hands into the air. So it's a fucking boat of weirdos. I know. So they serve...

poached eggs and avocado and eric so we haven't really articulated this eric is like jacked he's like very muscular and everything and he's like whoa i was gonna fast all day but this looks so good i'm like sir you're on your own could you imagine paying for a yacht you're not gonna eat come on he's like guys it's just like the famous meme of like the wolf who's sitting on the couch eating ice cream it's like wolf moment it's a wolf moment guys thankfully i'm hot okay bring it on

Guys, the secret to being a wolf is intermittent fasting. That's how wolves do it. So Zarina is saying that she's like worried about Harry and everything.

And then Jason's texting someone, his Norma, Australian Norma, to say that he may need a new deckhand immediately. Harry's also saying, I just may need a new hand immediately. And then Anthony, meanwhile, gets a text from Chef Dane, Chef Baby Dane, who says, job confirmed. So he's like, amazing. I can probably be out of here in a charter or two. So now he is out. He's going to be done.

Yeah. And then we cut to Eric, you know, solving very important things relating to self-confidence and improving yourself in the world. He's like, can I do a triple shot latte with just a little bit of oat milk? As long as it's under 20 calories. Wolves do not drink full cups of oat milk. Could I have that oat milk rare, please? Thank you.

What a douche. This guy really is speaking of confidence. So, meanwhile, Zarina's like, all right, so I think we should just do, we're going to do like some sort of lunch. And he's like, hey, so look, I've got a warm sound in my voice all of a sudden. So I have a bit of news to tell you, though. I've been offered another job, so I'm probably going to take that. So I'm going to do this charter and then the one after and then that's out. And she's like, hmm.

okay. And if you spoke to Jason, he goes, not yet. I'm like, how do you not tell the captain first that you're quitting? That's crazy. Yeah. So she's pissed obviously. And then she goes to tell Jason and she's like, yeah, he said for you, I'll do the next two charters. Like telling me. And I mean, I've been so professional. I've been so calm. I've been so understanding. I haven't cried. I haven't hugged him too hard. Any of the things that are on the list of things that I, I would normally do.

You know how I did. You haven't followed her. You haven't followed him around the city. I haven't followed him around the city. Thank you. I haven't joined his Instagram under different names, you know, trying to convince him to like that cute chef in the kitchen, Serena, you know. None of that. She's like, I have...

I have so many neurotic and uncomfortable habits that I haven't even been able to indulge in yet. And he's already mad. I haven't done the thing where I roll my stomach up and start talking to him in baby voice and saying, we've got this today. We've got this. I haven't done that.

All right, well, he's disrespecting you as the head. You know, it's been very short and sharp with you, and now he has a job, and he's leaving on his terms. All right, let's go get things sorted out. So they go downstairs. Hold on. Let me change into my power robe. He's like... And then we spend ten minutes watching them go down the entire staircase. Like, all right, we've got only four more flights to go, and then I'm going to get this sorted out. All right, sorry, are you still there? I hear her panting upstairs somewhere. Are you...

I'm just going through his luggage while I've got the chance, all right? I've resisted so far. I'm just putting a Valentine's Day. It says, no matter what happens, I'll always love you, my dear, darling little fruit maker. All right? All right. I'm coming down. Anyway, this isn't a power move. They should have stayed in the bridge and called down to him and said, Anthony, we need you to come to the bridge immediately and made him climb the stairs. 100%. Make him come up, make him get sweaty. Yeah.

So Jason's like, all right, you too. He's like, hi, Captain. He's like, all right, right. Jump over there, Anthony. Here's my power move. You have to stand behind the counter. All right. So you've had a chat with me. Zarina, you feel the environment is not, Anthony, you feel that the environment is not for you and you've got a better opportunity. I just find it hard to actually find it hard to actually halfway through the season, just jump off and find another job. He's like, yeah, but it's a position that I've actually been offered, unfortunately. He's like, all right. So you can go today, this morning, pack yourself up. And it's just the way I operate.

Dun, dun, dun. And Anthony's just like, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da. So, yeah, it was nice to see him fired by the end of the episode. I thought we'd have to wait, but it was good. I love cheering at the end of the episode, you know? I know. I love you. He did the classic, you're not quitting because you're fired thing. He's like, you don't get to hang around here for another, you know, two charters. No, you're fired. I was so happy that he just fired him right there. I was like, this guy needs...

Like I held a little bit of space for this guy in the first episode. I was like, well, you know, it does suck. Like she is not using him the way she should be using him. He's always doing his cleaning dishes. But then it's like when she did give him opportunities and then he started complaining. Even then I was like, okay, this, this fucker can go off to shut up mountain right now. Yeah. He's the worst. And I hope they get another Sue because I do like the dynamic of having a Sue there. So I hope they replace him.

But farewell, fucker. Well, that brings us to the end of Below Deck Down Under, everybody. Hope you're having a wonderful day today. We'll be back later today with a Traders recap, and we'll be back tomorrow with a little Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Go get your Mounting Hysteria live show tour tickets over at watchwhatcrappens.com and everything else over at Patreon. We love you. We'll talk to you next time. Bye.

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In the 1980s, a rosé swept the country.

Hey Mike, I really like this White Zinfandel. Well good, good. Now put it down, we're gonna try another one. White Zin became America's top-selling wine. But most don't know that this sweet drink has a sour history. What began in 1986 with counterfeit bottles... A big fraud. A multi-million dollar fraud.

sent investigators chasing one of the most powerful families in the business, the Lichardis. But the closer the feds got to them, the more dangerous things became. It's a story of deceit. At the time, I was paranoid. Threats. You touch my kids, I will kill you. And murder. With a .22 caliber bullet to the head. What started with a scheme to mislabel wine spilled into a blood-soaked battle for succession.

Welcome to Blood Vines. You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.

My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.