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Watch what happens when there's so much that happens.
Hello and welcome to Watcher Crappin's, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me as usual is the wonderful and lovely Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Good. I went to see La La Land last night. It was like some re-release at a movie theater here in Austin and I've just been dancing around with Bueller all day, just enjoying the time we have together before he chews his stardom over me.
City of stars. Doody doody doody doo. So I'm good. I'm floating on clouds. What's going on with you over there? That dreary ass song. I prefer the one that goes dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real
or whatever they play that starts going, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And I was like, I'm sitting here and listening to this orchestra, ma'am. I'm an old person and I enjoy the orchestral highs that I'm getting from this song. Thank you very much. As you should. I've only seen La La Land once and it was fun. So the point, you know what? You know what? I am in La La Land now.
But soon I will be traveling the country on the Watch What Happens Mountain Castaria tour, which resumes in March. Going to Cincinnati, going to, I guess I should have the actual schedule in front of me, but going to Cincinnati, going to Charlotte, going to Toronto, going to Philadelphia, going to DC, all sorts of places like that. Atlanta, Minneapolis,
Boston. Oh, Boston's in April, but you know, Boston people get ready. It's going to be a great time. We always have so much fun on the road. So we will hope to see you all there. Go to watch what happens.com to get your tickets. Um, also go to Patreon to, uh, get access to our bonus episodes. Traders. We're doing traders as our bonus right now, exclusively on Patreon traders is airing tonight and I am so
really excited for it. And we also have crappins on demand where you can actually watch us not just listen. So hi people who are watching and crappins on demand. So that's patreon.com slash watch for crappins. And that's basically it. And today we are getting back into summer house. It's the much anticipated reunion of Carl.
And Lindsay. Carl and the dishes that he's going to be doing the rest of the season, because that's all Carl is going to do. Why is Carl back? I don't know. I guess Carl's back to watch Carl do some dishes and act like a huge victim of everybody around him. Well, not everybody. Lindsay. And it's delicious. It's actually really fun to watch. Carl's best season, I have to say, so far. Really enjoying it.
So Carl comes in at the end of last episode. He came in, freaked out with the producers like, oh, my God, what am I going to say to Lindsay? Yeah.
and then went to the bathroom and hyperventilated for a while and talked himself up. He's like, you look great, by the way. So now he comes out all confident. He's like, I'm Carl. And he walks right out to the pool where everybody's having a good time and starts doing his like, oh, how's it going? Look at all these faces. Hello, Sierra. Hello, Paige. Hello, everybody. Hello, everybody. But Lindsay.
Yeah, Lindsay is there in the pool in an inner tube, so she's literally circled. Like, she might as well have, like, fluorescent yellow on her and high lit, you know? She is, like, so obviously there and, oh, hey, I just want to say hello to everyone here. Does anyone know this balloon guy here? Can I say hi to him? Oh, look, hey, Pine Tree, good to see you again. Barbecue, am I missing anyone? Am I missing anyone at all? And Lindsay's just like, this is classic Carl, you know? Avoidant, passive-aggressive pussy. Yeah.
And Lindsay's like, um, I don't blame him for not saying hi to me, but like, I really don't care. So,
And so they're trying to make small talk with Carl and they're asking how he is. And he's like, I mean, butterflies coming out here. Of course, butterflies. Like, it's been really rough a couple of years for me, guys. I'm like, oh, Jesus. Here he goes. And Lindsay's just staring at him like, okay. Yeah. Everyone's like, right, right. So Lindsay's like, I'm done with that relationship. And his feelings and emotions are just like not my issue anymore. So he can like lean on someone else for softness and tenderness and tighter hugs. Huh?
It's like, yeah, you go, Lindsay. So then Sierra's like, she whispers to Jesse. She's like, did Carl and Lindsay even say hi to each other? And he's like, I don't think so. Hold on. Let me FaceTime my girlfriend, Lexi. Hold on. Hey, Lexi, are you there? She's like, Carl, I'm Jesse. I'm sitting right next to you. All right. I just want to double check.
So then Kyle is asking Carl, you know, like, have you said I, Lindsay yet? And he's like, oh, no, I just, I want to congratulate her on everything, but I just don't want to make her uncomfortable. So that's super important. I mean, she's like pregnant, pregnant, right? And you're like, yeah, she's pregnant, pregnant.
So, Carl, of course. By the way, nothing says making sure someone isn't uncomfortable like singling them out and not saying hello to them. It's literally what I do with every pregnant person I see. If a pregnant person comes on the bus, I just hide my face under a magazine. They can't see me. They won't feel uncomfortable. I don't want to feel uncomfortable. Oh.
So Carl's like, she's like pregnant. I mean, then he tells us this is one of many woe is me things from Carl that we'll probably get all season long.
I just want to say the right thing and I want to like deliver the right words just like acknowledge it and it's just like I think it's like the right thing to do just to say something but I'm afraid she's gonna like bust out a bunch of shit that she's angry about and there's like a lot of feelings and emotions and like we were friends before this and I was in love with her and I wanted to get married it just wasn't right so I have like a lot of I got my armor up and even though she seemingly doesn't give a shit anymore I think
I still think she does. Okay, so there's a lot of bullshit right in here. First of all, you want to deliver the right words. Guess what? You had like a three-hour drive to get here. You could have thought of something, okay? Second of all, it's Lindsay. You know you don't have to be so delicate with her, right?
Third of all, I'm afraid she's gonna bust out a bunch of shit. Okay, so you're afraid of scary Lindsay now? Okay, relax, bro. She's pregnant, she's moved on with her life. And then he does the whole thing like, well, I wanted to get married, but it just wasn't right. No, you were the one who broke it up, so you don't get to pull the whole I wanted to get married thing. And then the whole like, oh...
I've got my armor up. So, you know, she doesn't give a shit anymore, but I do. I'm still the one who's sensitive and caring. Shut the fuck up and get out of here and go wash a dish. Can I say, I don't even have any of the anger towards Carl. I'm just like, poor Carl. Like, what's Carl even doing here? You know, he drives up. He doesn't even have that. I mean, last year it was like, what's Carl doing here? But at least he had the Lindsay thing kind of going on. But even then he was not really into it. So, I mean, I don't really care. It's kind of like...
I remember when I worked at Applebee's.
Sorry, everybody. Wait for it. It's an Applebee's story. But I was like 15 and I finally left that place. And then I came back and I was like, this is going to be so special seeing everybody and like, I don't know, having my moment with all my friends and stuff. And it wasn't OK. It was different. Now somebody else had to dust the pictures on the wall, the stupid license plates they used to put on the wall. And it wasn't me. And I felt kind of sad about it for a minute. But then guess what? I started going to Chili's instead.
And my life was a lot better for it. So my point is, Carl, go to Chili's, okay? This is no longer your Applebee's. You are a bad apple. You have fallen off the tree and rolling down the hill. So go rolling. Roll down the hill. Go away. So the boys are going to have boys day. We're going to the uni bar. It's just boys. So we're leaving at 20. All right, everybody? So now they have to start getting ready to go do that and stuff. And West is also still moping around. He's like...
He's really upset. Sierra really hurt his feelings, guys. Sierra really hurt his feelings by confronting him with the stuff that he did.
Yeah, and Jesse is still admiring Lexi. He's like, I mean, she has kind of a juicy booty. I'm like, does she? So then she comes in because they're in the kitchen, and so they scatter, and they walk back in as if they weren't just staring at her. She's like, hi, I'm looking for string cheese. So people were saying, where's Lexi's personality? And it has arrived. She's looking for string cheese. Yeah.
And Jesse's like, do you like my outfit? She's like, um, I know. I love your outfit. I love it. And Paige walks in and is like, oh, look at your little terrycloth set. You're just like a little towel boy. It's like you made an outfit out of towels. Okay, bye.
Uh, so then, um, West comes in with like a duck dynasty outfit. I'm not really sure what West is. I get wanting to do the whole, like, I'm a guy. I listened to barstool. Like, that's great. Okay. You guys do you, I see you all over the place here in Texas. Um,
This isn't fashion. At some point, he's kind of a caricature of those guys. I'd actually like to see one of those Duck Dynasty guys just kind of beat up West. Yeah, they probably would. So Amanda's like, where are we going hunting? No, it's like not fun pants summer. It's fun top summer this year. Is that what's going on, West? He's like, do you think this is a fun top? She goes, for you, yeah. For anyone else, it's garbage.
For us, it's all fine because we get to laugh at you. So Kyle, you know, I love that we're acting like the guys are all high fashion. They all look like dad's going to a Costco in the summer. Okay. But every time one of them comes out, they're like, oh my God, you look amazing. So now Carl's like, oh, I'm going to drive for boys day. It's for the boys. So Paige comes up with a better idea. She's like, Amanda, what if we fuck around and lie down on the couch? It's crazy.
So then Carl's like, yeah, I already feel a good vibe to the boys. Wes is like, dude, if it makes you feel any better about an awkward intro with Lindsay, I went in to give Sierra a hug when she got here and she fucking stiff arm my arms away. And we see like we see like flashbacks of that. He's like, yeah, it's been a day and it's already been like I asked her something this morning and she was she was kind of nice. I think it's getting better.
I wasn't sure like if I should say something linty because like I saw her in the pool and I was like, should I say something? But then I didn't say something. And Jesse's like, you did the right thing, bro. You did the right thing. That's totally what you should do to make things less awkward. You know, walk in, have a nervous breakdown in the bathroom and then just don't say anything to the people that terrify you. He's like, yeah, yeah. I'm going to give it a little space, little space.
Yeah, I kind of agree not to do it in front of everyone. The second you get there, it almost feels like you're chomping at the bit to say, you know, something crazy like, hey, how's it going? Congrats on the pregnancy, by the way. Because God forbid you say something like that. So now the girls are talking about how nervous Carl was. And so she's like, oh, my. Amanda's like, do you think he noticed the gigantic ultrasound on the mantle? Yeah.
and she's like the weirdest thing to me is that like lindsey's pregnant so now like we're all pregnant like i have to get my shit together now wait do i have to get my taxes in order and then just like yeah i gotta go my accountant maybe i should move to south carolina what am i doing maybe i should just submit to hell
Yeah. And so Paige is talking about how weird it is because like one girl gets pregnant and then it puts things in perspective with everybody else. And she's like, yeah, when Craig and I started dating, Lindsay and Carl started dating and then they got engaged and they planned a wedding. They called off the wedding. She got a new boyfriend. She got pregnant and I'm still dating Craig. And all that's really happened is that I got Craig to get a new haircut. So am I behind? Yeah.
But to be fair, this all happened within the span of like six months. Okay. Like the wedding, the engagement, the wedding, the breakup, that was like, that could not have been more than a calendar year. So, and it's also different because Lindsay's wants are very different. Lindsay was like, I'm getting married. I'm having a baby. This is my timeline. I want a balloon and I want, you know, I want a hot air balloon. Like she had all of her stuff and pages.
Didn't really like that. I do think it's funny, though, that girls seem to have that like, oh, no, someone some one of my friends is getting married. Should I be getting married? Should I be getting a baby? When one of my friends gets married, I know that it's time to go to the BevMo and get the bar stocked because they're going to need somewhere to come complain about their marriage. And it's it works like clockwork, you know? Yeah, I believe that. Also, Lindsay and.
And Craig, they should get together because they both want to have the whole family thing. And why not? So then the guys just talking there at the bar, there's growing out and everything talking about what they're drinking and stuff. And Kyle's like, well, first of all, similar to his relationship, it was less than 24 hours years old, 24 hours old with Jesse and everything. And Wes is like, oh, yeah, that's what we're going to tell you verbatim. Do put this t-shirt on. Jesse today goes crazy.
I can't believe we're going to go two summers in a row where we're not single together. Like, yeah, it's crazy. It's like a relationship. It's like, yeah, I accidentally said, I don't know if she clocked it, but Oh, Jesse says, I don't know if she clocked it, but Carl, I like to introduce you to the love of my life. Lexi.
Yeah. And West is like, I guess I'm without my bro for the rest of the summer. So he's all sad. So he's like sadly singing like the reprise ballad version of What Would Jesse Solomon Do? It's like, what would Jesse Solomon do? Do, do, do, do, do.
So then back at the house, the girls are still talking and Gabby's like, so Lexi, am I catching vibes from you and Jesse? And she's like, oh my God, you're catching? Well, I was going to say, like, tell me about your vibes. Ha ha ha.
Like, he's cute. And like, it's our second day. So like, we haven't dove in deep. But like, so far, I'm like, so shocked. I'm like, the vibes are there. Like, I'm just like, I don't like to be touched unless it's somebody that's cute. But like, he touches me and he's like, cute. So like, vibes are there so he can touch me. That was a really long paragraph to say nothing, Lexi. Say something, Lexi.
Gabby is just like, why am I the one who has to ask these girls what's going on in their lives? She looks so disinterested with them. So Lexi tells some backstory. She goes, my parents have been together for 37 years. Crazy. They got married when they were 21. So seeing their love and how that foundation just goes on and on about her parents. Like literally no one cares that your parents are still together. We care more if your parents were separated and one of them, you know,
you know, like got lost in the Amazon or something. So Bailey's like, y'all look cute together though. So I'm like your supporter for the one episode left that I'm on this show. And then back at the bar at Jesse's like, wow, you guys, I can't believe how excited I am about this. Like, I feel like I'm like too young to like need someone like young and fresh to make me feel like more of a man, but apparently I'm not. So I feel like I've entered kind of a new area era of my life. It's amazing. Like, yeah, bro.
Yeah, this is the fastest 24 hours of relationship I've ever seen in my life, bro. And Carl's like, yo, hey, have you texted her yet? Do you want to text her? He's like, I don't have her number yet, bro. They're like, oh, man. So he DMs her to get her number. And he says, yeah, I DMed her. I said, I wish I had your number right now. They're like, oh, it's going to be awful. This is going to be a rough season for Jesse because this is going to blow up.
Yeah. So he's like, to my last night as a single man, everybody. They're like, oh, my God, dude, you're so insane. He's like, guys, you know I'm kidding, but also kind of serious. So now it's July 5th. How did no one even care that it was July 4th? Come on, guys. Is it because it was on a Thursday or something? Maybe. Maybe. That's like a huge day on Summer House, July 4th. It's a huge deal. Huge day.
So now Lexi, Gabby and Dan, Lexi, Gabby and Bailey are at the table still. And Lexi's like, wait, so Bailey, I know that you're talking to someone in the city, but you aren't sure where things are. Do you care to elaborate? She's like, yeah, I want to keep it. Gabby's like, is he coming to the party? We don't know.
Danielle's just sitting there like, "I'm not Danielle, Gabby."
She's just like, "How much longer do I have to talk to these people before I can contractually go to a different room?" I think part of the problem in relationships today is that people are so afraid to put labels on things. "Well, Bailey, I've got a label. I've watched you for about five minutes. Here's a label." Boring, okay? Boring. There's your label. Sew it on and run along.
So then Gabby goes to Lindsay's room and she's like, oh my God, these young girls have me like spinning in circles. I mean, they're not drunk. They're just like boy drama. And Lindsay's like, I'm about to have a baby. So I'm very mature. She just sits and looks at her like, you guys are all so crazy.
So then the boys are coming home now and Jesse got Lexi's number. And so he FaceTimes her. And he's like, hey, how are you? And she's like, why did you FaceTime me? I just want to see your face. Oh my God. Do you miss me?
I mean, I didn't say that, but yeah, I mean, so we're just like leaving now. So we'll be home in like 10 to 15 minutes. You better get ready because when you're home, I'm going to run right into your room and give you a koala hug.
I would love that. What would Koala Solomon do? Burn this house down. I can't take it anymore. I fucking had it. Okay. I've already fucking had it. It's episode two. Okay. Break up already because there's only so much of this I can take. I hope this whole thing is fast tracked where they get married in a week and then they're like messy divorced people, you know,
fighting until they both crash down on the chandelier like at the end of War of the Roses by episode six. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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So the guys come back and they're like, honeys, we're home. And then upstairs, Paige and Ciara are in their bed. And Paige goes, downstairs could literally be on fire. And I wouldn't give a fuck.
I hope downstairs catches on fire. So, Sierra's like, "Yeah, I wouldn't give a fuck either." And then Lindsay's trying to do the bed thing with Gabby and she's like, "Can I just say something? That was so weird that Carl didn't say anything." She's like, "Yeah, like, why did you even decide to come back? Him and his like big ass teeth and his non-alc lover boy is contributing nothing to the party. He's like not even going to like pick up girls."
And she's like, yeah, like Carl coming back to the house, that's a choice. But like Lindsay coming back to the house is also a choice. It's just like a lot of choices that I don't really understand. Like what show is this? What are we shooting this year? So Gabby's like, whatever, you're both boring. So she leaves. And then in Lexi's room, Jesse's there and he's like, Koala, Koala. It's like, oh my God, we.
And she climbs on like a tree and gives him the old fashioned bachelor hug. Yeah. He's like, sorry, I'm like a little bit slimy because I have moisturizer on. He's like, yeah, slime me up. Slime me up, which I think may be the new put your weight on me. Slime me up, bro. So they are hugging and it's annoying. She's like, how is
He's like, good. I'm a little drunk. She's like, are you? He's like, yeah. Is that shocking? So they get into bed and everything. And they start talking. And then, meanwhile, Carl's downstairs making a steak and everything. Like a giant rack of tomahawks. This is like some Flintstones shit happening downstairs. That must have cost like $300. Yeah, it's a lot. Furnished by Uber Eats, just in case anybody's wondering. I saw it on the credits. I didn't know it was that hot.
so she's like oh my god kyle did you see how much fucking me this is kyle men and their meat am i right so then back in lexi's room uh they're you know they're doing their whole bachelor thing they did the koala hug and now's the part where jesse announces that he's gonna give her the robe which is going through his trauma which that's what they do on the bachelor when it's time to like
bang somebody or at least get a make out and stay on the show for another week you gotta bring out the trauma and I feel like he wasted it I feel like it was too quick well but she had hers she was ready so she she has a J tattooed or maybe it's a necklace or something but he's like hey what was the J stand for is that for Jesse and he's like she's like no it's my best friend who passed away Jeremy and she talks about how um she's never had someone that close to her
And she was like, you know, she talked about how, what it was like to go through that. It was very sad, you know? And she says that he was like a model and that like, you know, when she was young, when she was like 15, people wouldn't believe in her. But now she was, he was like, you go out there and you get it. You're, you're like, you're Lexi Wood. Go for it. He told me, you, you're Lexi Wood.
I don't know why that part made me laugh. It was a very serious part. Because it's ridiculous. I'm sorry. But I just like that. It's a very sad story. He was the first person who told me, you're Lexi Wood. I was like, did you never have roll call in school? I mean...
At the very least you had somebody ask, Lexi Wood? Lexi Wood? Lexi Wood? Now I really want to fully dive into every emotion and koala hug like it's the best thing ever. So then Jessie goes, I want to dance like nobody's watching. I love so loudly now. I'm like, oh my God, you're loving a little too loudly, I have to say. We can hear.
Can you love on mute, please? So now Jesse tells her about his testicular cancer, which was very scary. They're basically bonding. They have trauma bonding here. And so they make out. This leads to the kiss. Guys, nothing gets me hornier than my best friend dying and somebody else having cancer. I'm like, yeah, time to bone. So they do that. And then they don't bone. They just make out. And then...
They decide that they officially like each other. It's a fish. So then Lindsay goes into the kitchen where Carl is washing dishes. I think that Carl intentionally made dishes dirty so that way he could do dishes for the rest of the evening.
He's also so addicted to emotional turmoil because this is the set where everything happens in Carl and Lindsay's relationship. Like, it's all in the kitchen. You know, all of their main... And, you know, they've had some scenes other places, but most of their main emotional work is done in the kitchen. And so Carl is still stuck in the kitchen this whole trip, cooking, doing dishes, doing more dishes, kicking people out of the kitchen so he can stay in the kitchen because he cannot resolve anything unless it's done with Lindsay in the kitchen.
Yes, so you know Lindsay comes in and Wes says hi to her and Carl just like scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub And he's like how was brunch lunch? He's like it was good. It was good. Jesse is crazy, and they're just sort of talking It's like very it's just patter, but like clearly Carl is there and Lindsay's there. They're not addressing each other so
Then Carl is basically like, Wes goes out. Kyle goes off to like fix something with the speaker or something like that. Well, I like when Kyle does. Yeah. I mean, Jesse, Jesse's already in a relationship after like 24 hours. I mean, is that just what happens when you're six, five? I mean, God, how do tall guys live? And she's like, um, Hey, like it works for some people. Because of course, Lindsay is the queen of knowing somebody for five minutes. I mean, look, she's having a baby with this guy. Yeah.
Already, she was just with Carl last summer. So she's like, hey, don't knock it till you try it, shorty. So then finally, Kyle... It's just Carl and Lindsay in the kitchen. So Carl goes, hey, Lindsay. She goes, hey, Carl. How are you? I'm good. Just want to congratulate you. Thank you. I, uh...
"Sorry, I didn't get a chance to say anything earlier. I just figured I'd wait a second." You didn't get a chance, you were literally standing above her while she was in a pool, and you just chose not to. But like, it's just the way he phrases things, "Oh, I didn't get a chance to say hi." It's like, no! No, you literally had the biggest chance to say hello. And just the, uh, well, she didn't say hello either, you know, to his... Yeah, but it's on him. He walked in. It's up to him. He's on, he walked in and he's saying hello to everyone.
It's on him to say hello. So the energy in here was cracking me up because Carl is clearly freaking out and Lindsay does not care. Like she not only not cares, she's so icked out by this guy now. And she's doing the thing where she's picking up trash very slowly and just looking at Carl. Hey, Lindsay. She's like,
Hey, Carl. So, congratulations. She's like, it's okay. It's a big room setting, Kyle. I'm sure you were nervous. And he goes, uh, yeah, I mean, a little nervous. I just, but I'm genuinely happy for you. And she just like throws something in the trash and stares at him. And he's like, oh, yes.
You know, I didn't get a chance to say anything early. And she's like, yeah, well, these cupcake wrappers aren't going to throw themselves out. And I appreciate that. And in fairness, I did say on the basketball courts last summer, who knows where I'll be this summer. And then we see a flashback to the basketball court where she's like, who knows what's going to happen next summer? Like, I might be pregnant. Fingers crossed.
And here we are back to prison. He's like, yeah, here you are. And so Kyle is like listening in, of course, pretending to do stuff with the speakers. But thank you. You're welcome. I appreciate that. Of course. Kyle, why are you listening in? You're always pretending like you're doing stuff with the speaker. I can see you. He's the least subtle person. Kyle just stands there looking around, making faces like, oh, my God, you're talking right now. Oh, my God.
So now it's 6.19 p.m. And Jesse has been made out with. So he's getting out of Lexi's bed. And she goes, um, you like me?
He's like, yeah, have fun with the makeup. So then he goes into his room and Wes is like, how's your girlfriend, bro? She's like, yeah, she's good. We had the talk. You did not. Yeah, you did not. It's pretty serious, but not like the talk, just like the trauma talk. We've trauma bonded. It was great. Yeah. So then Sierra and Paige are still in bed. And Sierra's like, I'm like scared of how much I don't want to be here.
I know. It's like being in South Carolina. I know. It's like, I'll cry. It's like, because of, because of West, she's like,
i know it's scary she's like and so sierra tells us that in december she was having a lot of family issues and she spent she wound up going to costa rica for over christmas and she talked about some of this to west and like he was the person that she confided into confided to and like shared things with and then he went and put that in the article the new york times article and and he put in the article that like you didn't feel like we were each other's people and that was she said it was just like really hurtful reading everything in the article
I'm kind of confused about this. Like, look, I think Wes is an ass, you know, and especially after that whole reunion and stuff. But I'm kind of confused. Like, why can't he say in an article, we just weren't each other's person? They had already broken up, right? I'm legit confused about the timeline.
I think what she's saying here is that she was going through tough stuff and she was sharing with him, despite the fact that they had broken up. I'm not sure that they did break up. Yeah, they did break up by then, but she still was sharing with him stuff. And then he went and said to the New York Times, like, we aren't each other's people, even though when they were sharing, it's like, yeah, we may have broken up, but we're still each other's people. That's what I think she means by it. That he basically acted like she was some sort of like...
Like, well, we didn't really we didn't really click as people, it turns out. And she's like, but I was sharing with you deep shit. Yeah. So this was right after the reunion, I think. So he's basically because I guess my question is, he got ripped apart at the reunion and rightly so. But then he did this article after the reunion, right?
I think so. So that's why I'm confused. Like, why would it... Like, I think he's allowed to do an interview with somebody, and they, of course, are going to ask him. His whole storyline and all of... The only reason he was in the New York Times is because he had this, like, scandal, quote-unquote scandal, with Ciara. So, of course, they're going to be like, why'd you break up with Ciara? I mean, I thought...
I don't know. For me, like... I think what it comes down to... I think ultimately what it comes down to is she really dug him. You know, he pursued her really hard and she was closed off to him because she didn't want to get hurt. No, no, I know all that. I'm just saying, like, the timeline of the reunion. I'm just doing a spiel. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Can you do a spiel? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry.
No, I'm saying she really, she opened herself up to him and then he basically breaks her heart and then he gets to have two articles on one of the most prestigious newspapers in the country to that base, you know, that basically he gets to control the narrative like, oh yeah, we just weren't each other's people. Yeah, it just didn't work out.
And she's sitting here like no one's asking her. No one's writing articles for her. No one's asking to see what she thinks. New York Times is not asking her when he was one of the fuck boys. So she could say it was about the Costa Rica stuff or whatever. I think she's basically like, you got to go out there and repair your image when you really hurt me. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. I'll buy that.
So then, because like the hating him, I totally get that. I just don't understand the specificity of the New York Times seeing in the timing of it. Like if it was after the reunion and they ripped him apart, why wouldn't he say in an interview, we just weren't each other's person? So that's the only part I'm confused about.
As far as him hurting her feelings, I totally get that. But yeah, the way you put it, I totally get. I think she's not totally a moat. Part of me suspects she's not honest with herself. Right. Cause she like fucking hates West. But remember last episode, she was like, they're like, would you, they asked her, I forgot what question they asked her something like, would you get back together with him or whatever it was? And she was like, I'm not going to answer that. I'm not going to answer that.
And she even says later this episode, like, oh, like after I had that fight, after I confronted him, I almost wanted to kiss him. So I think that like when she says, oh, I'm upset because of this Costa Rica thing, I think still maybe what's really driving the frustration is that he just got to make himself look like like a nice guy who just wanted to break up with someone. But I don't know. I'm a little bit with you. I'm a little confused. Yeah.
Um, so then, um, next up, let's see. So now in the kitchen again, Carl and Matt are there and Carl walks in and, um, Carl's like, Oh, clear the air guys. Clear the air. Oh, basically said like I congratulated her. And then I was like, didn't have a chance to.
Didn't have a chance to. And then I was like, didn't have a chance to. And then her response was really, really, like it was actually touching. She threw some cupcake wrappers away. And then she reminded me on the basketball court that she would be pregnant by this time. So I lose. So it was great. It was great. Cut to like two hours from now eating dinner. Like, hey, everyone. I've made up, prepared everyone a tomahawk steak. Except for Lindsay. Sorry, I didn't have a chance to make a steak.
- I don't want to make you uncomfortable, so. - I don't know if the baby is vegetarian or not, so I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I was afraid of you getting angry at me. So he says, oh God, he tells us, I feel so much better because I said what I wanted to say and it felt genuine. It seemed like she really received it and now I guess,
I'm guessing I was beet red and shaking. Carl, you said what you said. All you said was congratulations. It's like you don't care your soul. But you were beet red and you were shaking. So then it cuts to Lindsay's interview and she's like, Carl will continue to be terrified of me. So he's going to be walking on eggshells around me all summer. And I don't care if he's there or not. Like literally, physically, emotionally, mentally, taco contractally.
Manily, babily, literally moved on. I'm feeling like, okay, that's behind me now. It took me three hours to drive out here and then another full night or a full afternoon and then I realized like,
I just had to say, congratulations. Oh, okay. It's behind me. I did it. I did it. I did it. Now, now I can go have my, my summer. Now, now like that door, that, that door of saying congratulations to someone's clothes. I don't have to ever do that again. Oh, it was so scary. Oh yeah. So now it's dinner time and everybody's coming down and like, it's becoming kind of a housewife show in that,
The first five minutes of every scene now is like, oh my God, I love your outfit. Oh my God, I love your outfit. Do you like my outfit? I love your outfit. So they're doing that. Jesse's doing that at the moment. And then Sierra kind of falls while getting ready in her room, which is funny. She's out of nowhere. She's getting ready. She's like, what the fuck? And then Lindsay is helping Wes bring wine to the table and everything. And Lindsay's like, well, you seem quiet. And he's like,
Yeah, like whatever. I'm just trying to figure it out. I'm just assessing. So he's going to be, oh, he's hurt. The poor fuck boy, you know, has to deal with his consequences. And he's like, I want, I just want to have fun, but I want to be respectful. And if that means shutting the fuck up for the weekend, I guess that's kind of what it is. So I'll just be quiet here in the corner.
And she's like, "I mean, whatever went down between the two of you, like, I don't know the whole story and normally I would choose the man sign, but she's hurt." And he's like, "Yeah, like no, like a hundred." And she's like, "Yeah, and she got hurt because of your actions or your inactions, right?" And he's like, "Correct." She's like, "Okay, so just be like, look, I want to be on the same page so we can enjoy our summers. That's it." And he's like, "Uh,
That's like so straight forward and like cool, but like really need to be more of a victim. So could I say it? Could you maybe like order across on Amazon that I could just kind of splay myself out on while I say that?
Here, I was thinking about this because I'm afraid that I don't look like enough of a victim. So how about if I say, hey, Sierra, when I was talking to that person from the New York Times, I thought it was someone who was asking what time it was in New York. That's it. I had no idea it was an article. It's like it wasn't my fault. Do you think that'll apply? No. So dinner is served. Dinner is served. I'm sorry if anybody's uncomfortable. I'm getting so good at this. I'm getting so good at this.
Wow, that was like a lot off my chest because like for a long time I was like, will dinner ever be served? Am I going to actually serve dinner? And now like I served it, it just feels like I can finally enjoy my summer now. So Carl has to make an announcement on his microphone because not everybody's there. So he's like, ladies and gentlemen, please report to the dining room. Dinner is served. And Carl's like, oh my God, who the fuck gave Carl a microphone? He's like, it was $400. It's $400, thank you.
So then... Carl's kind of like that guy in motorcycle class who doesn't know how to ride but shows up with, you know, $100,000 Harley. It's like, girl. Yeah. Well, you know, back when I was going to college, when I was in my frat, we would have fraternity formals every term. And there was always this one DJ. I think his name was like DJ Lou Fucci or something. And he would... He was from New Hampshire. Yes, DJ Lou Fucci. I think his name was Lou Fucci.
And he would, you know, and he would be there with his press play and everything. And like, he would get on the mic the exact same way as Cosby. Like, oh, now, ladies and gentlemen, go to the dance floor for the Sigma Phi, I was like, okay, so maybe it's just like a New Hampshire DJ thing. Like, this is just like, it's just in the water of New Hampshire to DJ like this. No, that's part of the job, especially at like weddings and stuff. You are the announcer who's like, and now,
Mother of the Bride. The dance with the mother of the bride. Let's check it out, everybody.
Oh, I really hope his name is Lou Fucci. I gotta find out. I love that name. Lou Fucci? Fuck, I'm calling Lou Fucci. I'm gonna text. I'm gonna text. I'm gonna text friends. Lou Fucci, yes. So everybody comes and Jess is like, girl, you look great. That's like, you all amazing. So then now they're trying to, you know, they're just making small talk at dinner. Kyle's putting salt on Sierra's steak and she's like, um, are you trying to be Salt Bae?
Yeah, and he's like he's like he's like letting it like do like a little slalom course down his arm off of his elbow into her stick She's like that's not how you do that. Yeah, he's doing the fancy You know the fan is his name salt day. I guess that's his name. Yeah, I think was that Kyle was doing it incorrectly at first He was just sort of like he was just like elbowing the salt in and then he thought you do the thing I don't really I've never gotten the appeal of the salt bay thing, but whatever and
That's my hot take, guys. So clip it. Make it a clip. Put that on the gram, okay? I love that you're starting an internet war with DJ Lou Fucci and Salt Bae all in the same episode. You're just like, burn it to the ground. Ben doesn't give a fuck today. Thursday, February 20th, the day that Ben stopped giving a fuck. Yeah. DJ Lou Fucci, what an icon. So then...
Jesse's like, so what'd you guys do today? And Gabby's like, we talked about you the whole time. It was way worse than it sounds. Kyle's like, yeah, well, that flipped a car. Because when you take this type of burden on, you gotta do ways with a steak. Kyle's like, yeah, I'll fail it. I was like, really scary. Really scary making this thing. Here comes one right now.
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- So they're making a lot of steak small talk and cooking small talk. And so Lindsey just goes, "I'm a cheers. Thank you, Carl, for dinner. I'm not feeling uncomfortable." He's like, "Oh, okay, good, 'cause I was gonna ask. Okay."
And Paige is just like, cheers to honestly how mature we are. Because, God, we're so comfortable being boring, aren't we? And the fact that we can all sit at dinner with no plot lines is a little bit awkward, but it's not super awkward, right? So are we going to start fighting now or what? Time's a ticket. Time is money. Okay, time is money. You know, it makes me really appreciate that all those years of having to sit at the same table with Danielle really prepared us for lots of awkward moments around food. Okay.
Congratulations, guys. We learned something. And West is like, this is like the least awkward I've felt so far. I'm talking about you, actually. So, yeah, we do a good job. Sorry. Sorry. I have an update. I texted my friend and I said, what was the name of our fraternity formal DJ again? Lou Fucci. And my friend said, yep, probably still in prison. Lou Fucci. DJ Lou Fucci.
And now yard time is over. Let's please all head back to the pens. Yard time is over. Oh, no. No. Here's a headline. Ex-nightclub owner sentenced in murder for hire scheme. Oh, DJ Lou Fucci. Oh, no. That was an awkward bar mitzvah. Wow. Wow. Okay, we will circle back to that.
His defense was, yeah, I murdered him with my beats. Murdered him on the dance floor. Everyone, please get to the dance floor. Wow. Okay, I'm going to have to look into that. So Carl's like, well, I mean, it could get more awkward. It's only Friday.
So Amanda's like, Kyle's like, what's awkward? And Jesse's like, I mean, look, they're sitting across from each other, which is cool. Like, Carl and Lindsay are still on opposite sides. I mean, Wes and Sierra are sitting opposite each other, but like, Carl and Lindsay are still on the opposite side of the table, so I guess there's that. She goes, yeah, and Wes and Sierra still can't make eye contact, so...
That's fine. Yeah. I'm not going to do that. Yeah. Well, what do you think about, by the way, what do you think about his hairdo these days? What do you think about Wes's hairdo? And she goes, it sucks. I was like, thank you. Thank you for just saying it on camera. No, it doesn't count because she still dated him when his hair was stupid and she didn't say a thing. You know what I mean? Like it doesn't count just because you say it once you're broken up. If you said it when you were together, I would have respected that comment.
His hair last year was stupid, but it wasn't like, to me it wasn't glaringly stupid. It just was like, okay, whatever. But this haircut is beyond stupid. This is a terrible haircut. It's painful to watch. This is his Tequila Katie orange haircut season, essentially. Do you think this is worse than the combed forward broccoli hair? A hundred percent. Or as Paige would say, one thousand percent. One thousand. Okay.
So Jesse's like, I mean, I thought it was awkward before, right? And Sierra says, it's so awkward because people try to be nice and then they put out a lot of press about shit. But like, you know what? Why don't you keep the same energy as your articles and shit? Especially your New York Times article. Gabby's like, can we have wine? Can we have wine? Everyone wine? Should we have wine? Gabby's just scrunching down in her chair.
Um, so she's like, yeah, like what about sending a text warning that you're going to drop another New York times article saying, oh, actually I didn't like her. And I should have just said that at the reunion. Cause then that would have read better as opposed to like what I said at the reunion. Cause like that was a beta ass move. Yeah.
So then West is like quiet and he goes, he's like, well, we can have a conversation if you want to. So now he's doing this thing like, hmm, like don't, you're embarrassing me in public when he put out, he did a whole article that went out, you know, to the nation. So she's like, well, we're having a conversation and, um, West, are you saying you want to have a conversation privately? Can I help you out here a little bit? He's
little bit. He's like, yeah, mom, that's what I want. And Kyle's like, uh, selflessly, I want to witness it. Cause like, there's only so many speakers I can pretend to fix. So just do it here. Um, also before when I was like, well, I don't understand why Sierra is so mad. Well, when she puts it like this, if he really said in this article, like, um, I didn't really like her and I should have just said that at the reunion. Did he say, now listen, I know I could just very easily read the article, but I'm not going to give him that.
I'm not gonna do that to my brain cells. I've depleted so many of my brain cells over the years with using, abusing, losing, and boozing. I'm not gonna give him any more of my brain cells. He's not worth it. But if he did say that in the article, okay, now I can totally see why she'd be pissed, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
So Kyle's basically like, just like nip this in the bud, you know? So she goes, well, okay, fine. So obviously we met up after the reunion and I feel like that was fine and settled and we could have been good. And he goes, yeah, and I've been respectful. And she goes, no, I don't think so. You care so much about the perception of everything. And meanwhile, how embarrassing that you publish an article to reiterate that you don't like me anymore. I mean, if you don't feel the same way, let a bitch know I'll be done with it, but it's just so fucking weak. It's a bitch ass move. But now I'm confused again.
Because I thought they were already broken up by this part. I'm so confused.
Like, if you are, meanwhile, if you publish an article to reiterate you don't like me anymore. I mean, if you don't feel the same way, let a bitch know. But I thought you guys were already there. Anyway, whatever. Team Sierra still. I'm just confused about timelines. So West is like, well, I don't think that I meant for it to be taken that way. And she's like, oh, okay. Then, well, you're a fucking loser anyway. With stupid hair. Loser. Your hair's a loser too. Stupid. And he's like, okay. Yeah.
And she tells us, you know, I'm talking, I'm getting even more pissed because you're saying nothing. And you didn't think to come a little bit prepared based on the press you were doing. Like, I literally had nothing to work with. So Jesse's like, well, it's like, I'm trying to do a scene here. I'm trying to do a scene.
Yeah, they're like, whatever. It didn't really work out so well. And Sierra's like, yeah, well, that wasn't that wasn't guys. That wasn't that intense of a dinner. I mean, we've had more intense dinners than that. Like, come on. Yeah. Like literally Lindsay and Carl were engaged last year. Now look at them. Paige is just like, OK, next. And Gabby goes, and she's pregnant. Don't forget that. And she's like, I love this steak. So like they're kind of lame-os. So don't even this is like not even as intense as it could be.
And Lindsay's like, um, okay, well, I have to take a shit. And I don't have to often because I'm constipated because I'm pregnant. And this is, like, the first time in a month I have to take a shit. So do I have to fight right now? And they're like, oh, just go poop. Jesus Christ. She's like, okay. Well, that was, like, a real load off. No pun intended. But, like, I just...
Now we're going to close the door on Lindsay being able to shit, so it feels really good. Should we clean up and play some music? Party Carl's here, guys. Yeah, I'm going to be able to enjoy the summer, like, really a lot.
So Sierra is in emotional turmoil. So she joins Carl in the kitchen because that's where you go when you're in relationship turmoil. And he's like, oh, thank you, Sierra. But I'm still trying to figure out how my I hope you're not feeling uncomfortable was taken. So I need some time alone in here to do dishes so you can leave now. And she's like, you don't have to ask me twice, stupid.
Yeah, so you're dressed way too well young lady. Oh So Kyle is then he Kyle's like wow so he Kyle goes up to West and goes well I can feel how much it took for her to say that and you going sounds just not so great He's like yeah, but I'm not gonna fight with her in front of people Bro, you're on a reality show
It's part of the job description. Yeah. And Carl's like, I get it. I don't have to conflict well, you know? I mean, silence, though, is probably not the way to go. You're wearing a mic for a reason, okay? And Jesse's like, yeah, it's not going to make it go away. You just have to, like, talk, bro.
So he's like, well, I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel or how to react to something, but I know I'm not some evil dude who tried to ruin Sierra's life. After reading all the fucking backlash, I was like all alone for all that. And I was fucking freaked out in panic mode, you know, and someone asked me if I wanted to defend myself. And I said, yeah, I thought it was a relatively gentle article, but she read and I guess it didn't land the same.
Yeah, I'm sure you were in bed the whole time. With people, with fans of the show, sucka. Come on, you were doing appearances every night. Stop acting like, oh my God, it was so hard for me. I had to go through all of that alone. Yeah, so then the girls were all piling into the room. The only blanket I had was the New York Times. Yeah. And it was the digital edition, so it was really cold.
I don't think he did it to hurt Sierra, but I think he did it to serve his ego. And I don't think he realizes that when you serve, like, this is what happens with people who are, who are like that is they don't realize the sort of collateral damage that they cause. So Paige is like, they're all, all the girls are in a bed and Paige is like, well, that was great. That was a fun time. Yeah. Like that was amazing. If they raise the monthly price for whatever that was, I would totally pay it. I would like and subscribe. Yeah.
I love nothing more than watching a man squirm. It's amazing. That's why every time I'm sitting in Charleston, I wake Craig up with an algebra question. And then kind of like, ladies and gentlemen, report to the awkward dance floor. No longer calling it club. Send it. I see just the awkward dance floor.
And so they go down there, they start gathering down there and then the girls are getting ready. And Amanda's like, wait guys, apparently he was at lunch and talking about Lexi the whole time. Like Jesse's so in love. He was like, it's crazy that I was single last year and this year I'm not. And Paige is like, it's been 24 hours. You nut job. Jesus. I may have to make another man squirm already. So then, um,
They all go to the bar. They go out. They drink. They have fun. And then they come back. Lindsay comes back. Lindsay went out. To her credit, Lindsay went out. She's like, I'm still going to go out. And then they all get into bed and everything. And they're doing the usual late night stuff of making snacks and French toast sticks and everything like that. And then Sierra is in her room with Paige.
My favorite was Amanda's. I think we need French toast sticks. Wow. She's like shaking the box of French toast sticks. Amanda's really growing on me this year. She's really speaking to everything I love. She's having a good cut this season. And in fact, she said something later this episode that I really liked. So Sierra's like, obviously I didn't do anything the first half of the day, but like the second half really wore me out.
Sorry, I'm glad that's why I decided to stop my summary. I'm like, and so finally we end at Paige and Sierra and Sierra says the following, Ronnie, you have the floor. But it's funny, this is the part where she's like, I know this is toxic, but like even the sick part of me is like, even though I just cursed you out, like, and I made a whole scene, like let's make a,
You could literally only say this to me, but I so fucking get it. Let me, wait, let me put this in a different phrase. Um, 1000%. And so Sierra is saying, you know, like, of course, like, don't you think there's part of me that like wants to hug you and tell you it's going to be fine and like comb your hair? Yeah.
Yeah, but my gut reaction is that way. But at this point, I can't figure out if he even cares and feels bad or if he's just concerned with how he looks to the public. That's all he cares about. Don't get dragged back into this by his whininess, okay? I think as a nurse, too, she's probably wanting to help heal him and fix him, but you can't. Some people are just too hit by the... They're too hurt. Sometimes you just gotta push them off the bed and say, someone else needs this bed.
That's right. Take the lessons that you've learned from Austin. Do not get sucked back in. So then Weston,
And Jesse are back and they're eating like nuggets and everything. And like Jesse really wants to like go into Lexi's room. He's like, but I can't just go barging in there. Like even for me, her boyfriend. So then he like calls her, but she doesn't answer. So he leaves a voicemail. He's like, oh my God, even her voicemail is cute. Oh, hey, sorry. I didn't mean to leave you a voicemail. Can't wait for a koala hug. Okay, bye.
Um, so now Kyle and Amanda are in their room and Kyle's like, I'm just proud of Lindsay and Carl, you know, cause they were like at the table and they talked about history. Like it made me happy, you know, like, like we're a dysfunctional family, but like it takes away from what the summer is all about. You know, me getting shit faced and pissing all over bushes at four in the morning. It's just weird. Cause she's like pregnant before us. She's like, no. Huh?
No, it's not weird. If Carl and Lindsay had gotten married, I had a very, very strong feeling that they would have gotten pregnant before us. It doesn't matter. It's like, oh, you're right. So Amanda says, like, you know, there was a time when I thought I would be pregnant by 25. And then when you're 19, 25 sounds great. And then when you're 25, having kids by 30 sounds great. But then when you're 30, you realize...
I'm still a baby. And so she's really focused on her mental health and she's taking all sorts of different medications and some you can get pregnant on and some you can't. And she's just more focused on finding something that works for her and finding one that she can take. And if she can get pregnant, possibly fine. But like she's focusing on herself first. And I am like standing ovation for Amanda. That was a wonderful moment. I think that she had and good for her for prioritizing herself before anything else.
Girl, I think they're going to have to come out with sperm breathalyzer before she even lets one of those things into her. I mean, that thing's just going to be tripping all over the place in there. You know? You're not ready. So good for you for noticing. So then Carl's like, oh, I have to go to CVS? You guys, should I come back with bagels for everybody? And Amanda's like, oh my god, that might be magical. You can actually serve Lindsay a representation of your personality, just like...
Something that seems kind of good, but is just a center of void. It seems like it's everything based on the seeds, but it's just a whole... Inside it's just vacuous. So hey everyone, I got everyone bagels. Oh, Lindsay, I didn't have a chance to get you a bagel, but here's a nice long receipt that you can sort of turn into a bagel. It's from CVS. At the bottom it says, I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable.
Oh God, oh God, going to CVS, that took a lot. I wasn't sure if I should say hi at CVS, but I did. It felt good.
So then Paige is still in bed and she's like, oh my God, when we were at dinner last night, I don't know why, but it was so funny when Lindsay was like, thanks for dinner, girl. Paige is so messy. She literally doesn't even care what's happening. She's like, I started some mess and it was so great. And Sierra's like, yeah, thanks for the dinner, almost ex-husband. She goes, yeah, you'd have to drug me to say anything to someone that I used to be engaged to. Like I would never even speak to them.
heavy narcotics so um by the way how are you feeling you look like you're not happy right now you're scowling and she's yeah well i said what i needed to say and honestly i'm fine i don't know how he feels he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't ever say anything but he's like yeah that's the thing like i don't get that it's so stupid and the haircut gross so it was like yeah but legit if anyone said my hair looked bad she's like i thought i hit him where it hurt
And Paige is like, I would cry. I love how they look at things because Paige is like, anybody I break up with or any, because she said this for years, right? Like you would never see me talking to an ex. And I love that she's so dead. It's like once you break up with Paige, you're dead to Paige forever. The end, you know? But if you talk about her hair, she'll cry. Like I would die. That's how they get emotion out of Paige. Yeah.
So then Lindsay comes walking in and there's like big sort of like overall things. And Amanda's like, so Lindsay, have you started buying pregnancy clothes or are you just managing to wear what you had? And she's like, great question. Feels like it's sort of a leading question. I feel like there's a trap, but yeah, like just getting clothes for me so far. These are just my own clothes. Like, okay. It's amazing how like mediocrely you dress pregnant or non-pregnant. It's so consistent. Congratulations, Lindsay. She's like, um,
okay, I'm going to let you get away with that, guac lady. So then Amanda and Kyle, wait, Kyle's outside getting ready. Oh, so now they're getting ready for their big party, their big 4th of July party. And Wes is like, are there bagels down there? And they're all sitting there waiting for the bagels, which I thought was funny because I was like, you know Carl was taking forever. They're all sitting there. They've got their coffees out. They're on the kitchen island like we're waiting for our bagels. Where is Carl? Because you know Carl's like,
Okay, I've got to make a choice. Sesame or pop it? Like what are people want? I don't know. There's like a lot right now. I was like very stressful. Hold on. I'm going to call my mom. I'm going to call my mom and her pastor husband. I just am like, it's like a lot right now. It's like a lot of bagels to choose from. And I'm just like, not really sure which one to choose. I'm not sure. It's like really rough. I've been through a lot and I'm really not sure what bagel to choose. So I just broke up with the bagels and I left them at Jacob's.
- Left them with checkout. - I'm just so glad to leave that behind me, literally, leave the bagels behind me and I could just enjoy my summer. - I was cracking up at Wes though, 'cause he comes down still all sad. He's like, "Hi guys, I just wanted to remind you, "I'm still really sad about being here. "Are there any bagels?" And Sierra sees him and she goes, "Oh my God, now he's acting like "someone fucking stole his goldfish." - So they're gonna set up for this, they're setting up their party and everything
West is outside with the guys and he's like, yeah, it was really rough and causes was awkward as it was last night I know you were frustrated. I feel like there's gonna be some opportunity today So because I don't want you to have this awkward tension. It's kind of a bummer man So now West is like I don't want to have a conversation with Sierra I'm scared but I could go into any room last night last summer and I wanted just like get down the door and just might be fun and now I don't feel that way this summer and
I'm just like an outcast. - Oh God. So he goes to sit next to Sierra. He's like, "Can I sit here? "Am I allowed? "Should I go sit on the trash can somewhere?"
And Lizzie's like, "Um, I'm sitting here, I'm sitting here." So Paige is like, "Um, who's coming to this party?" So everybody's talking about who they're bringing to the party and Lizzie's like, "Um, well guys, I'm not coming to the party because I don't know if you have Instagram, but it was a huge week for me on there because I announced my baby and my partnership with Clear Blue. So I'm going to go celebrate that and back home with a party called Clear Blue Pizza Beach."
She's literally having a party to celebrate her Instagram announcement. And Carl's like, oh, Lindsay. That's just so fucking Lindsay. She's like, I got 19,000 more followers and we're celebrating. Sorry. Yeah.
I mean, the fact that Lindsay's not going to be here for the 4th of July party. I mean, like, thank God I can finally spread my wings and not have to worry about being disrespectful. You will never see someone wash dishes with as much carefree energy as I will have. I'm single. I want to meet someone. I want to not talk to them. I want to be a little scared and go back into the kitchen and be like, oh, safe place, safe place. I can't wait.
Yeah, like I want to day basically starting over. Wow. What better place to find a healthy date than a raging alcohol party in the Hamptons? So then Gabby's like, I'm going with you, too, because my sister's in town. So, of course you are. Yeah. Gabby, you need to stay and make your own life, Gabby. OK, you can only be used so long as Lindsay's crutch. They all get thrown out.
They all do. That ankle heals. So Carl is like, so everyone, today is like classic battle of the sexes and the boys are going to have this section of the lawn and the girls are going to be over there and like our guests are going to be like be voting today on who has a better setup. The boys party, the girls party, just when you do cast your vote, I'm just going to let people know, please just be like gentle and tender with it because there's like a lot of emotions happening here. Thanks. Girls, if we're going to win, we have to like flirt with everyone. Oh, yeah.
So they are going to have a big competition. So then Paige FaceTimes Craig. And she's like, chicken, what's up? And he's like, hey, baby, just hanging by the pool, missing you. Craig, you're going to get skin cancer. Do you ever go inside? The only thing we've seen of Craig from the past year is being out in front of the – now, listen, that pool is something to be proud of. It's a gorgeous backyard. But you've got to – go live, Craig. Go live. SPF bro. SPF bro.
So, Paige is like, wow, it looks so freaking nice there. That was sarcasm. I'm in the Hamptons. I have my own pool and a nicer house. And Craig is like, wow, how's it going? It's good. It's just a little awkward. The first night, Lindsay announced that she was pregnant and then Carl came the next day. And honestly, they were like more normal than Ciara than West and West. So she's like really like, you know, she really lit up, lit into him and said his hair was stupid. And she's like, you're a fucking loser and your hair looks fucking stupid.
It was actually really hilarious. Okay, Chicken, I think I want to break out with you by the end of the summer. So just thinking about that, putting that out there in the ether, what do you think? Oh, wow. That's a lot to take on.
So he's like, well, they had so much promise. And she's like, well, when are you going to come to the city? He's like, well, I can't come until next weekend. This week has been really busy, but I was hoping you could sneak away during the week. And she goes, I'm to come to you. Hold on. Let me open my iCal. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry. I have a lot going on.
Yeah, I have a sponsorship with ABC Airlines, which stands for Anywhere But Charleston. So I'll be flying all around the country to anywhere but Charleston. And she's like, mark the day because I'm going to say it. I feel bad for Craig. Okay, that's all you're getting out of me. Interview over.
I'm a completely different person than the person he started dating three years ago. I'm busier. I'm not around as much. I have higher standards. I've changed my mind about a lot of things like Craig, you know, like marriage and moving and a baby. I went from saying, ew, I never want to have a baby to, I never want to have a baby. That's a big change for me.
Yeah, like, you know, she's basically saying, you know, I don't regret changing or having my wants changed. And I'm not going to apologize to it about it. But I do have to admit that, like, it sucks for him because I have changed. Like, I have changed my mind on a lot of stuff, you know. And so then Lindsay and Gabby leave. And now the decoration wars begin. So the girls are planning and Carl comes over. He's like, oh, just here to grab a little non-alc. Little non-alc. Something soft.
And then Amanda's like, scram. So then the West goes up to Sierra's room. He's like, are you alone? And she's like me. Yeah. What do you want? And so he's like, well, is this summer going to be fucking awful? She goes, I don't think it's fucking awful. I mean, it's pretty hilarious watching the swarm. So she's like, it's fun for me. Are you just going to get a stupid haircut every week for me to mock? Because I'm loving this.
great trend. He's like, but last night I don't, I don't think felt like you were moving forward at all.
And it's like, yeah, because like every time I do something or confront you in front of everybody, you like give minimal response. And he's like, um, but like we haven't even like talked since like December, January. And like I thought we kind of had closure. But the whole reunion was like, God, I mean, I just sounded like an idiot. And I'm like trying to figure this out day by day. And like, I know I'm not the best at it, but I'm just a boy, a boy at the part.
I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl asking her to not make fun of his hair. So Sierra's like, well, you could have been completely deaded coming into the house, but like you're putting out all this press like post reunion when we could have just left it at the restaurant after we got drinks and you could have just left it at that. It's like,
yeah but if I would have known that that's what if I had would have known that talking about you on a national publication would have upset you I never would have done it if I had none known that I would have made it more peaceful I I wouldn't have done the article but I I think I felt like in defense like for so long that anytime someone was like hey wanna want to do an article and she's like yeah no no that's he basically starts to mutter about like
Like, but people feel this way about me. And then that sets her off. And he wants to defend himself or whatever. And she's like, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, you care what everybody else is saying, you know, like you're writing this wave and like people don't know us. They don't know you. When you're up, you're up. They kick you while you're down. And that's just how it is. He goes, well, I'm learning that now. But like, you know, you don't really learn that until you get a New York Times article.
He's like, it's hard. It's not perfect. I mean, I fucked up and I'm trying to figure this out and apologize for saying things that hurt your feelings. And I'm not ever even trying to hurt you. It's just not my intentions. If you know me, I think you know I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just, you know, just trying to be in the New York Times some more. And I think one of the things that's the most annoying to her about it is when they when he kept trying to come on to her and stuff, she was like,
Look, we're on a TV show, and I have already looked stupid on said TV show over a guy, and I don't want you to make me look stupid. And so she was worried about public perception as well. That was kind of the point. She's like, I don't want to look stupid again. And then he not only did it and made her look stupid, but now he's turning around going, but now I look stupid on TV. And she's like, ugh.
fuck off like I'm supposed to feel bad for you I warned you that's what you were doing to me and you did it you fucking did it and now you're sitting here crying that everybody hates you like yeah so he's like well hopefully we can be around each other and she said she tells us I think that me and West were genuinely friends yeah and it made a lot harder when it ended because you're losing someone that you want to tell everything to and can I be friends with West again I don't know I really don't know what to tell you he's like but she thanks him for apologizing everything
And it seems like they end on like a conciliatory note. Maybe they'll patch things up. But that's basically where the episode ends. Yeah. Good one. Conversation. Very funny. Very funny. Thanks, everyone, for being here. We got Southern Charm happening tomorrow. And we will catch you on the next episode. Go get those tickets for the Mounting Astoria tour. And we will see you on the road or in the podcast app. Bye. Bye.
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In the 1980s, a rosé swept the country.
Hey Mike, I really like this White Zinfandel. Well good, good. Now put it down, I'm gonna try another one. White Zin became America's top-selling wine. But most don't know that this sweet drink has a sour history. What began in 1986 with counterfeit bottles... A big fraud. A multi-million dollar fraud.
sent investigators chasing one of the most powerful families in the business, the Lichardis. But the closer the feds got to them, the more dangerous things became. It's a story of deceit. At the time, I was paranoid. Threats. You touch my kids, I will kill you. And murder. With a .22 caliber bullet to the head. What started with a scheme to mislabel wine spilled into a blood-soaked battle for succession.
Welcome to Blood Vines. You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me, and the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I
I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.
My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.