#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Weiner Takes All
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Hello and welcome to Walter Crappin's podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we'd love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and adorable Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hi, how are you?

thank you. We are going to recap Southern hospitality. Before we dive into that, we are going to be engaging in some Southern hospitality. When we go to such cities as Charlotte, North Carolina, which is often referenced on this show and Southern charm, uh, we'll be going there as part of the mountain historia, historia, hysteria tour, uh, which is going to resume in mid March. We are going to a whole bunch of cities. We are going to kick things off, um,

in Cincinnati. We'll be going to Charlotte. We'll be going to Atlanta. We'll be going to Minneapolis, tons of places, Philadelphia, DC. Check out the full schedule at watch what crap happens.com. We are probably going to be going to a city near you. So we'd love to see your face.

And also be sure to check out patreon.com slash watch what happens to get access to our weekly bonus episode. We are recapping the traders. You can listen to that if you're as obsessed with the traders as we are. There's also crap is on demand where you can watch us instead of just listening to us. So Patreon really gives you a whole suite of fun things to do. And there's a great community over there as well, as well as our discord, et cetera. So to that end, everything you can find, anything you would need would be at watch what happens dot.

dot com. One thing we do not have at WatcherCrabbins.com though are hot dogs. Luckily,

If you want a hot dog, you apparently can go to Republic Bar and Grill and Club and Hot Dog Cart because that's what they have there. That's what this whole episode is about. Opening up, selling hot dogs. Get you some wieners at Sir Wieners, y'alls. Sir Wieners. This is season three, episode eight, Wieners and Losers. We see overhead shots of Charlotte.

And then we go to Michael's house and he's unloading his dryer and his shorts got stuck. So he's untwirling his shorts. Yeah. He's like, oh my God, I cannot believe this happened. My shorts are totally stuck to my dryer. This is horrible.

I'm like literally freaking out right now. I'm traumatized. And then we go to TJ's and he's unloading Sir Wiener's merch from boxes and vacuuming it, vacuuming each piece as it comes out. And then we go to Elite Fitness where Brad is being very motivating. He's like, guys, do push-ups.

It's funny using the word elite with anyone from this cast. And then we have the music keeps going and it's like, and I can't believe this is happening to me. And it's Lake driving. I can't believe it. Someone's driving. And she calls her mom, Jerry. And this is the theme for the first 20 minutes of this episode. Her mom says,

She's like, "Oh, hey honey, how's your day going?" "I'm tired." And this is what every single cast member says for the next 20 minutes. "I'm tired." "Are you hydrating?" "Yeah, to the best of my ability." Eric, great scene lake. Yeah, so then we go to Emmy's apartment. Well, I mean, so far, you know, drawstrings and hydration. So then we go to Emmy's and they're eating takeout very

Insanely because it's Emmy. So she's like, how was your day? How was your day? Oh my God. He's like, I'm exhausted. Cause like I've been at work, I'm working, like I'm a lawyer. So like, I don't know if you'd noticed, but I have a highlighter. So pretty, pretty big deal. It's a lot of responsibility.

Yeah, you may notice I have a tie that I got from Van Heusen. So I've been working lawyer stuff, you know. Oh, that's right. I slept till 4 p.m. today. You slept till 4? Yeah, I slept for 15 hours. Well, I actually spent 12 of those hours just crying. But that counts as sleep, right? Yeah, well, I'm not sure. I was just geeked out of my mind for the past four months. So, yeah, 15 hours really isn't that much. But...

So what's up with you? And he's like, did you not hear me talk about a highlighter? I mean, I could use 15 hours. I work. I'm a highlighter.

I'm a lawyer and she's like oh yeah I'm still recovering from Vegas you know I mean baby you had to deal with everyone's bullshit you poor guy that's like so hard I was like what are people following me to the bathroom now I'm thinking we'll get a break he's a lawyer he's also being bullied by the biggest bully in law school it's like a lot for him right now yeah but at breakfast we talked about like a lot of stuff and like worked through like

the big issues. And at this point, like I kind of just want to like brush under the rug and like, just go back to being friends, you know, because brushing things under the rug has worked out so well, so well in our relationship. She's like, yeah, well, like I appreciate like TJ and will, because like, you know, TJ is like trying to have an independent relationship, like with you and with me, but like, I can't like have a relationship with him if he's like coming for my hand.

You know what I mean? So, like, if it's not going to be worked out with you, it's not going to be worked out with me. I mean, that's just it. I stand by my man. That's it. You are not having sex with the people in the bathrooms. I'm so fucking sick of hearing it.

anyway um maybe if we just deflect onto another couple then people won't bother us anymore so let's talk about maddie and joe okay because like i think that like maddie is freaking the out from that wedding yeah she's freaking the out and then we go to maddie's house and joe and maddie are in bed and joe's like oh my god i'm so tired everything you're right every scene i didn't even notice that at first but you're right everybody's like i'm so tired and maddie goes my back hurts oh your back hurts yeah

from putting up with me yeah i'll give you a massage okay so then um he's like yeah um like i can give you a massage now because like we're married i can't believe you're my wife charleston sorry i can't believe we're back in charleston sorry it was muse said that thanks for saying my line for me joe no problem you're my wife i'll always say your lines for you thanks so what do i gotta do this week joe i'm like what's on my eye cal and he's like um be my wife i'm

So then Maddie's like, um, this wedding isn't real, but I think that Joe Bradley thinks that it's real. So, and then we cut back and she's like, uh, get out of the bed so I can make it. And he goes, yo, let's go wife. The wedding was like for, it was for fun. And like, it was like all for like the LO fucking L's. And I don't think it was serious, but then we see Maddie and like, we see Joe though. Like,

looking at her through the mirror because you know they're brushing their teeth together and he's doing that thing where he's like staring at her through the mirror and she's like just trying to brush my teeth joe oh you know what by the way joe you know what really fucking bothers me when you shave your face and you get little hairs everywhere you really fucked up joe and he's like yeah like we work through it because that's what like married people do

Yeah. Yeah. Every time, every time there's like a little like whisker in the sink, think of it as like a love letter to my wife. Okay. Whatever. Vacation's over, but maybe not for Joe. Yeah.

So we need to go like, we need to go like matching roads. Cause we're like married now. She's like, Oh Jesus Christ, Joe, I swear to fucking God. So then we go back to Emmys and she's like, the crazy part is when me and Maddie got back from playing blackjack, Joe was like, so pissed at us. Oh, dun, dun, dun. And again, the camera crew was in bed. Hi, you're on a TV show. You need to be awake in Vegas. Well, they can't film at the blackjack table, but you can't film when they're coming home from blackjack.

- Yeah, exactly. So after Joe and Maddie's wedding, we partied until around like 3:00 AM and then like we see them taking shots and stuff. And then Maddie says, and then Joe, Joe was like, I'm a little too fucked up. I don't feel well. So then Emmy tells the rest of the story and she's like, so then we went to the casino and we stayed until like five in the morning. And then we got to the room and Joe was like very upset. And he was like pissed. He was like, you've just been like down here gambling and loving me alone on our wedding night. And Joe's like, yeah.

I was like ready to go home and have like a romantic night and like a honeymoon suite. And like, I get laid most other nights. It's like, how do I not get laid on our actual wedding night? Like what the fuck? It's not our actual wedding night, Joe. Oh my God. So he's like, yeah, but I ordered this all the drinks for this, like steak, caviar, lobster. And Emmy's like, oh my God. He even goes, I ordered you a gluten-free BLT.

Has Will ever done that for you? Like, I get it. And I like Emmy for the most part, but girl...

she he's talking to will what has will ever done for you he's ordered her a boyfriend free blt so then emmy is like i mean maddie was like this isn't a real wedding night and joe was like well would you actually leave me alone on our own real wedding night and then maddie goes well would you actually get that this up on our real wedding night it was like yeah sometimes i worry that i sometimes i worry that maddie loves the idea of joe more than joe i mean it's not like she's marrying a lawyer it's gonna have kids with him probably maybe next year

I mean, like, it's totally different. Like, I'm in love with, like, the idea of you, you know? Because it's like you. Like, I'm a lawyer's wife. It's totally different. Like, Maddie is pathetic. But like, ew. Oh my god, objection! I can say that as lawyer's wife, right? How is Emmy saying, I worry that Maddie loves the idea of Joe?

Girl, you love the idea of what will could be so much that you're letting him fuck other people in bathrooms and not even arguing about it. Like there was a whole new rumor of him fucking people in bathrooms and you don't even question them.

He can't even go into a cooler safely now without rumors popping up. But I have to say that if you are going to fall in love with the idea of something, I do think falling in love with the idea of someone who has a successful career is better than falling in love with the idea of whatever Joey Marbles is going to do. Because I don't know what Joey Marbles is going to do. Sorry, but it can be described in three words. Food and baths.

um so will's like yeah maybe it's like going like it's like getting like too real like too quick so then we go the republic back room and everyone's gathering for their night shifts and michaels and lakes sit next to each other and lake is like how are you feeling after vegas he goes good i'm just like a little tired

And I'd like to point out our note taker Chandler says six minutes into this episode, we have three I'm tired and one I'm exhausted from this cast. So it's been noted by both of us.

So, like, I had so much fun in Vegas. I had a hot hookup with Artisman and I had a hot make out with Brad and now it's like time to close the box and put it in a closet and never like open it again. Cause what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except syphilis. I don't even know how that thing caught on what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Nothing I've ever done in Vegas has stayed in Vegas. I'm still ashamed about it all the damn time. I feel like Vegas is actually deeply consequential to people.

Weddings, gambling debts, STDs. Nicholas Cage died there. And Elizabeth Shue had to watch it. And we all know about it. Yeah. Yeah. Did she even get to leave Las Vegas? I guess maybe at the end she did. I don't think she did. Did she? I don't think she did. Elvis died on the toilet in Las Vegas. We all know about that. No one gets to live. No one gets to leave Las Vegas. No one does. Not even Steve Wynn.

More like Steve Luz. Yeah. So then we go to the Republic. Everybody's working. And so Joe's like, oh, my God, I'm still recovering from Vegas. It's like harder to recover when you're a husband. And Brad's like, yeah, I had to work when we got back. Do you know how hard it is being like, push, push. It's like elite level, bro. He's like, yeah, I respect the fuck out of you for that, bro.

I say this as one married man to a single man. So Michaels is like, I like to say that Republic runs itself, but like, unfortunately when I'm gone, Republic is like not running itself. Like when we were in Vegas, I did, I did end up opening my email like a bunch of times and like the ship,

definitely tends to sink when i'm not there like there's no one outside on the sidewalk saying come on come on come on in come on and come on and come on and come on come on so it's like really really hard but like when i was away i missed it i felt like they're like my little children even though they're all older than me i mean after all i'm the that runs the that they think that runs the because the is on the run and the is gonna run it's like you need to relax

Sorry, I'm like freaking out a little bit. Guys, I wonder what Lovah's doing. Oh God, I hope she doesn't get more than 30 seconds today. Here she comes. She's like, "Michaels is definitely a unicorn. Like he's so wise beyond his years. No one on the team can do what Michaels does." Cut to Leah CEO, like cutting her kneecaps slowly in anger. Just being like, "How dare you?"

No one can do what Michael does. Cut to the Cloris Leachman waitress who's like, everyone, I'm going to pick up this napkin. Ah, I just broke my arm. God, it really is hard what he does. It's like, hey, I'm in charge tonight. How many peas are unhappy? Anybody remember?

All right, okay, everyone, I am in charge. Okay, I want someone standing by that door. I want someone standing by that table. And I want someone to light that plant on fire. Oh, shit, that's the wrong thing to do. Oh, this job is so hard. Um, guys, the happy birthday sign came out misspelled, and the dot was missing from on top of the I, but when I went to wipe it off, it looked like there was Coke on there. Cloris Leachman, do you have anything to say about that? No.

Spelling is subjective. That's what I say. You guys, I just got a report from Republic.

This is what happens when I'm not there. I just found out that instead of walking out to celebrate someone's birthday with a big lit up sign, they just were carrying a giant live grouper. That's just not acceptable. You can't do that. So shots of work. Everybody's working, working, working, working. And then we go to TJ and Mia and she's like really hot. And he goes, yeah. But are you like Vegas sweaty or are you Charleston sweaty? Yeah.

She's like, Charlton's sweaty. I missed it. So she talks that her apartment was really dusty and full of spiders and cobwebs while she was training to fail at Miss USA or Miss World. Actually, Miss World because she's in Trinidad. Trinidad and Tobago. So Molly meets up with them and they're all wearing pink and everything. And TJ's like, I didn't get the pink memo. But you know when people say that, they're like joking. But you can see with TJ, he's like,

It really is hard to be gay in the South. You don't even get the pink memo when all the girls get together. Molly's like, oh, we actually dress pink to match your skin, so don't worry about it. You're totally on trend. So she's like, guys, I've been working nonstop because I'm also a wedding planner, so let's roll some footage of me saying wedding planner things. I love this. It's been nonstop in the hectic world of wedding planners. She's like, guys, we cut to her being like, this is a good place, Matt. Yeah.

She's like, here's a charger to doily or not to doily. That is the question. Am I right?

What's the name of her company that said something like "Inspira Events" or something like that, or like "Enigma Events." Just like, yeah, I had to put a napkin on a table and see if someone liked it. It was really hard. Mia's like, "Um, well, TJ's about to blow the fuck up. Are you excited about that?" "Um, TJ, did you have gluten?" Now she means like, professionally, because of Sir Wieners. Okay. I'm really excited to get back the money that I put in. Like, oh, hell yeah.

In just a couple of days is the launch of Star Wieners. I'll be debuting my merch, all the hot dogs, my specialty cocktails. It's like so much pressure. What if I don't make my money back? What if people don't buy merch? What if people don't buy tickets to the event? Not one question of what if my hot dogs aren't good.

Come on, let's get our head in the game. Okay. Yeah. Why are you making merch so soon? Start selling hot dogs before the merch comes out. Come on. No, he's doing the merch because of something about her, because that was the Vanderpump rules thing. They never even opened their restaurant and they made a quarter of a million dollars just on merch.

Yeah, but the difference is that, like, Ariana and Katy are established Bravo liberties and in the center of, like, a pop culture breaking scandal that everyone wants to support them. TJ is just TJ. No, I mean, I get it. Joe cheated on TJ. But I'm married. I mean, I understand why he wants to have merch because he's on Bravo and he wants his friends to put on the hats so that they're wearing the hats during the scenes. I get it. But realistically...

like work on the hot dogs first this this strange new culinary concept of a hot dog will they ever succeed will people like hot dogs I don't know that's it's an untested food yeah untested Market well they like 20 hot dogs that's the question how much are these hot dogs I want to know we're gonna have it I'm in the day I don't even have hot dogs but I'm gonna have one one day I love hot dogs and by the way flash forward just a little bit will

saying he doesn't like hot dogs. You know, this guy's a piece of shit. It's the best part of going to Costco is getting the hot dog afterwards. Let's be honest. I'm a pescatarian, but even I, some of my best memories are 10 cent hot dog night at the Diablos games in El Paso. When I was a kid, that's the only reason I would go to sports just so I could get a 10 cent hot dog. I may have to have a hot dog for lunch. All this, all this discussion. Like I'm getting so hungry discussing them right now. I'm like freaking out right now.

So that's all this said, TJ sent us some Sir Wieners merch. Hello? He did? No, I'm saying TJ do it. Oh, I thought you said he did send us. Yeah. TJ hook us up with some Sir Wieners. I'll wear that shit on this. Come on, TJ. Uncrap is on demand. Yeah. Come on. We'll support you. Yeah. Fuck yeah. We just dissed your hot dog business, but we want the merch. Send it over, babe. We don't like your business model, but we will happily model your business. I like his business model. I think it's smart. I mean, look, he knows that his money is going to be coming from merch. Yeah.

That's what he's doing. So you go boy, send us some free. Here comes one right now.

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So he's like, yeah, what if people don't like it? So then he's like, well, Sir Wiener's stuff is going well, but at our boys brunch in Vegas, I got an arrogance vibe from Will. So he was totally not... I didn't get Wiener's vibe from Bill. It was not very Wiener forward, not Wiener supportive. You're only now just getting an arrogance vibe from Will. It's been three seasons already. Yeah, but we're...

So then we see at the, at the boys brunch, we see a hot dog tattoo on TJ's wrist. Cause he got that. And we'll go, how long did that take? Like 10 minutes. Oh, and you still haven't even sold a single hot dog. Stupid, stupid. Whatever fucking highlighter behind your ear. Who's not a lawyer yet. I know. Yeah. Shut up. Shut up. Matlock. So TJ is like, I just think that like, he thinks that he's like better than me, you know?

And he's like, after Vegas, I just feel like, well, like, Seth has been completely honest with how he feels about me. And it's like sad because he was like a person that I like would call my best friend. But, you know, unfortunately,

Because he's my best friend. I have to hate him. Because that's what I do on this show. It's just weird. He wouldn't put a hot dog selling on the same level as lawyering. It's like really offensive. So then back to the restaurant. Mia's like, well, I was talking to Emmy. And you know how she just doesn't want to hear it? Well, she said that Austin has it all twisted. And that law school is, they're bullies. And that they're just creating rumors about each other to watch each other fail. And then we see the flashback where she's like, where Emmy's like, you guys!

law school is different someone has a vendetta against will like they compete against each other there it's like totally different you guys she goes yeah i know i've seen legally blonde so yeah well well that's the same thing we see footage of will telling the guys the same thing he's got a bully like i'm just imagining again like a lawyer in a varsity jacket like shoving will into like a law school like locker

Yeah, you think you're so hot with your highlighter behind your ear? I'm telling everyone that you got laid with a hot chick in the bathroom. Ooh, burn! So then Molly tells us, um, the logic is missing. Like, I don't think like a grown-ass man is creating some rumor about some random mediocre white dude in this class. I promise he's studying torts or whatever that class is.

Listen, I love a burrito, so I'm not even going to go up against torts, but you know what I'm saying? And who makes up rumors that you're like extremely virile? They're like, let's take Will down. Let's make him look like he's getting laid all over the place. Guys hate that. Yeah, exactly.

So Mia's like, well, TJ's like, well, I think that Will told her that. Like, of course Will told her that. You think she formed that thought on her own, says Mia. And then all of a sudden we are now going somewhere else in Charleston. And now it's like evening and...

And or maybe it's daytime. It's another day as one day before the Sir Wieners launch. And Olivia, the marketing manager for Republic, is going to help. And she's overseeing TJ as TJ is with his cart. And like the cart, there's like a cart wrangler. Like it's like if you were shooting a movie and there's like a kangaroo, there's got to be the person who comes along with the kangaroo to make sure the kangaroo is OK. So this is like the guy who comes along with the cart. It's a union shop. Yeah.

They're like, guys, we cannot shoot this scene until the cart wrangler arrives, okay? Take this seriously, you guys. And so the cart wrangler's like, oh, by the way, it's not the same cart that we thought. Because we thought it was going to be like one of those L.A. carts with a flat top where they're cooking onions and stuff. But it's not. It's like a steamed hot dog cart. Yeah. Yeah.

um so then yeah they're like oh my god tj how are we gonna get through this gate he's like i measured it okay well i thought we were gonna have trouble getting past the plants he's like i came here early and i moved the plants who's a lawyer now yeah and they tried to make it sexy because the guy's like are we gonna be able to get it in and he was like i think i don't fit because i wanted to get it in he's like i measured so they spend it's a good amount of time pushing this car through i was actually i was

I was getting stressed because I was imagining

being in that situation. Like, I feel like I've never moved a hot dog cart and yet watching the scene, I felt like I had, I felt like I had been commissioned by a friend who said, Hey, can you help me move this cart into the restaurant? It'll take like five minutes, but then once I'm taking 35 minutes and it's hot and it's humid and you're sweating and the cart scrapes my knee and we can't get it through and it becomes a whole production. And suddenly my plans for the entire day are ruined because a hot dog cart cannot get into the fucking patio. And I never should have signed up for this stupid task in the first place. Like I, I,

felt all of that watching this. Well, I have to say, look, I've always looked at you as a good person, but this is the most empathetic you've ever met. This is like...

It takes hot dog carts to get you this empathetic. You're like, you guys, I put myself in the shoes of the hot dog cart movers. No, I was mad. I was mad at TJ for doing that to me. I was like, why did you waste my time? I was mad at the hot dog cart design because can we make hot dog carts easier? Like where are the rubber wheels? I was actually mad at, I was kind of mad at Leva and Leah that they didn't allow TJ just to roll the thing through the club.

where there were wide open doors. I can smell the bar rot from here. I'm like, let's stop acting like, Oh, let's stop acting like this is going to offend all those middle-aged men in Tommy Bahama shirts coming into Republic. Okay. Yeah, exactly. We've seen, we've seen,

Yeah. So now we go to Azure restaurant where Emmy and her sister Peyton sit at the bar. And shockingly, Emmy tells us that Peyton is her baby sister, eight years younger than her. I would never believe. Well, well, then we find out that she is about to go to college. I was like, what? This girl's only 18. I was shocked. And she goes, she may look like Sydney Sweeney, but she has a baby girl in my heart forever. I was like, well, okay. I don't really see the Sydney Sweeney thing, but that's okay.

I didn't see that either, but I mean, her sister's cute and everything, but I don't know. This is like some sister delusion here. Yeah. This is one of those. She's Sydney Sweeney. Am I right? Am I right? I guess that makes me Sydney Sweeney too.

so payton's like how was vegas and she goes um so okay well we all went to dinner and like will kind of stood up at the table and said i want to apologize about emmy and i love emmy with all my heart and she's the best i'm gonna be a lawyer and he's and like i just love her with all my heart and yada yada you know all the stuff he always says every single time we go with anyone you know you know and all of a sudden austin ran his mouth saying like all this about will you know peyton's like

I don't know who any of these people are. Just can I get my free fries? Well, Peyton's just looking at her like you're buying this lunch, right? Because I'm so uncomfortable, like pretending that Will's not a total dirtbag. So then we see a flashback to the Vegas dinner where Austin's like, apparently it's common knowledge at this law school that this man has slept with multiple people.

And then Emmy's like, slow motion tears squirting out. So then back to the restaurant. She's like, oh, so I start to like have a panic attack. Like, why are we going out? Oh my God, can good people just win sometimes? Like I have to defend something that's not true. You know, it was like shut down. Like long story short, like he's being bullied. You know what I mean? And I'm like not been going through bullshit with each other. Like if anything, it's made us love each other even more. Yeah.

I think if anything, I want Will's baby inside of me right now. He deserves it. He deserves it. How's your salad? I think that Will is going to propose next summer as soon as he can get himself unjammed from the locker that his bully shoved him into. Oh, God. Fingers crossed. Oh, question, question. Waiter, come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Waiter. I just wanted to ask you something about the menu. Okay, yes. Should Will and I get married in London? Yes or no? Yes or no?

Cause I was thinking like they call them lawyers, barristers over there. And I could be Mr. And Mrs. Barrister, you know? And I was like, I'm thinking like we could be friends with like Kate and Will. Cause they know like, Oh my God, it'd be like Will on Will. Like would it be like two Wills would like run each other in the street and be like, your name's Will. My name is Will. And I'm America. Like we'll totally hit it off. It's going to happen, Peyton. It's all going to happen. I just want to get married somewhere where everybody's as white as Will. Yeah.

Peyton's like, "That would be fun. So like, it's good that you believe Will, 'cause personally I wouldn't." She goes, "What?"

What do you mean? What do you mean by that? What do you mean you wouldn't? What? It's just the rumors are just like scary and I don't know. I just think it's, it's so weird. And I mean, it's like, look, like, I mean, look, something you don't understand. Like you're like young Sydney Sweeney. It's like, you don't really understand things like old Sydney Sweeney does now. And like when you're an adult, things are different. So like you just take a lot more shit because you're that much closer to being a barrister's wife.

So, okay. The foundation of a relationship should be friendship. And like Will and I tell each other, there's everything. We don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever lie. And that is a fact. That's true. We are lawyers. Well, I'm not a lawyer, but I like pretend to be a lawyer. Like I dress up like a lawyer, but I'm not a lawyer, but he's a lawyer. He's gonna be a lawyer. He's gonna be a barrister, actually. He's actually gonna run England. I don't know if you heard this. He's actually the prime minister of England. They've already chosen him. And so we're friends. And the foundation of being a good prime minister is having a friendship first with the country and your wife. It all makes sense. Just you'll see when you're older.

She's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I mean, usually if you cheat on the person you're dating, it's because you don't even love the person anymore. So, right? And she goes, uh-huh. I mean, like, from your opinion, like, do I seem happy? Like, the only people who cheat are, like, unhappy in their marriage. That's not true. People in happy marriages cheat all the fucking time. Yeah. I find some of them. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think it often, I think, has nothing to do with happiness. I think it's just, like, other hardwiring that I'm sure you just go to a therapist for and they'll tell you all about it.

Or just watch Broncos. Or it's just boners. Men are pigs and we get boners. And once you get a boner, the boner starts telling you what to do. Okay. The boner is the boss. And sometimes that just, I'm not saying it's right, but I'm just saying there's no, a guy doesn't need some deep, dark, emotional reason to cheat on your ass. Okay. He's got some free time and he's got a boner.

If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean those pipes. Yeah. Sometimes you don't even need a boner. Even guys without boners can cheat on you. You know, guys are very multifaceted. So Peyton is like, well, you seem overwhelmed.

I am very overwhelmed. Oh my God. I made 14 chocolate replates for Will this week. Oh my God. I was like, it's busy. It's busy over here. Oh my God. I'm overwhelmed with love. Love. Overwhelmed with love. You're cute. You're so cute. You're so young and so cute and naive. You don't understand how love works, but this is the way love works. He says, I love you. And then I trust it. Okay. That's it. And this is why we need cameras in everybody's car, because you know that the second they got in there, she's like, what the fuck was that, Peyton? I called you fucking Sidney Sweeney.

You're my sister. You're supposed to be loyal to me. You're my sister. - So now we go to Plef Maud Pottery, you know, which every young person loves, every free, love and fun young person loves to do. Go to the pottery store with the gang. So they go to the make your own pottery place.

And Preston's there. Oh my god, Preston. Oh my god. I, like, missed you. I missed you so much. I was thinking of doing the tea steeper because I'm always spilling the tea. And he's like, oh my god, I don't even know what I'm going to do yet, but maybe we could put it in our future house together. Oh my god. The pineapple. Upside down pineapple at the bottom of the sea. Oh my god. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. Preston says we should do it upside down. Girl, that's a man who's already ready to cheat on you. Because that's the switch, right? I think they were referencing SpongeBob. Doesn't SpongeBob live in upside down pineapple at the bottom of the sea? No. I mean, I don't know nothing about SpongeBob. I've always been too old for that shit. Even if I was a kid when that came out, I still would have been too old. I was just like that as a kid. I would have been smoking a cigarette at five. Like, no, I'm not watching this.

That man is pockmarked and square. Get me someone hotter. I need a hotter thing to look up to. Thank you to AI for providing this very serious response to my question, where does Spongebob live? Where does Spongebob live? Spongebob Squarepants lives in a pineapple at 124 Conch Street or Conch Street in Bikini Bottom in Undersea City in the Pacific Ocean. And then we have some bullet points. Spongebob is a yellow sponge who works as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab.

His pineapple home is three stories tall and has a living room, a word closet, and other amenities. SpongeBob lives with his pet snail, Gary, and his pet scallop, Shelly. His neighbors include Patrick and Squidward. And Bikini Bottom is based on Bikini Atoll, a small island in the Pacific Ocean where the U.S. conducted nuclear weapons tests during this one in the Cold War.

Thank you AI for that comprehensive answer. - But this is what Preston's bringing it up. He's not bringing up SpongeBob. This is upside down pineapple means you're a swinger couple and you're gonna fuck each other's friends. Okay, that's what that means. So Michael's is like, things are definitely great with Preston. Like, I mean, we talked every day in Vegas and made sure I was sure, I made sure he was shirtless when we FaceTime 'cause I miss his body.

So then Lake shows up with her longtime best friend and current girlfriend, Shelby. And Lake is tired. And Lake is like, Shelby is like one of my best friends. And like, whenever we do see each other, we are still intimate. Like she's like a best friend with benefits. And like part of the reason why I lost interest in Brad is because like, I'm not really feeling dudes right now.

Like there's times where like the girls, I like girls more and there's times where I like guys more. And like right now I'm in for like the girls season, you know? So,

I love this for her. She's not interested in Bradley because she's dating this girl instead. And she's like, yeah, we were like 16 and we just started making out one day. I felt so comfortable around her. She was my sexual awakening. So, yeah, we have a soul bond. So back at Pottery, Lake is like, Shelby's met my whole family. And Michael says, even your dad? And Shelby goes, oh, yeah, Mr. Rucker, very direct businessman. Yeah.

Shelby's like rage painting her like pottery. Yes, I love Mr. Rucker.

So Michael's like, how does it feel about... How does he feel about you guys being together? Like, does he know? Does he know about this right now? And Lake is like, yeah, we're always together. It's like pretty obvious. But like my dad and I, we try to like avoid those conversations. So like we have a really close relationship. And she basically talks about how she doesn't want to like... She's like afraid of like losing a relationship with her dad because like her family is successful. And, you know, they care a lot about what the public has to say. And especially because it's the South. And she talks a lot about like...

you know, how like, you know, being a part of a Southern black Christian family, there's like a way of speaking and presenting yourself. And she has like a lot of pressure on her basically. And like,

her family might view her as being, as like having a disease if she's like gay or fluid. And like, you know, this is what she's struggling with, which is interesting that this is really an ongoing theme on this show. Like we've had, this is our fourth, I think LGBTQ member, 'cause we also had Mikhail the first season and like every season there's been like this struggle that these people have been going through.

The struggle with being gay in the South, you know? And she's talking... I did find it amusing that she's like, yeah, my family's, like, super Christian and super successful. And so, like, I don't want to embarrass them. Which is why I fucked a guy last week on camera. It's like, you just took a guy back to her hotel room last week. That's why I decided to have a giant house party on Bravo TV in our home. So...

But it was a good conversation. And, you know, she's with, you know, three other queer people. So they're telling, you know, Preston's like, if they don't know who you are, you're going to disappoint them, you know, because they're proud of who they don't even know. You know, they need to know who you really are. And Michael's talking about his mom.

And he was always trying to get a girlfriend to please other people. And he's like, you're going to get to a point where you're like, okay, I'm painting an upside down pineapple because some hot guy wants me to. And that's just it.

Yeah, it's a nice moment. It's a really nice scene. And Michaels is like, I never want Lake to be in a place where she feels she can't be herself. So I'm going to try to guide her based on my own experience. Also, by the fact that I'm like so good as like a manager at Republic. So I know it's not easy kind of like building that sign, but I'm going to get her through it. Yeah.

let's see what else happens here. It's just a nice scene. It's like a very nice, lovely, sweet scene. And yeah, it was, it was a nice scene. Sorry. I was texting my dad. Cause he's coming over to the internet. And I was like, sorry, you're like, uh, speaking of parents, you're like, Oh dad, you're coming over. Except me. Um, I was 15 years old. I was like, hello. Um,

So then, Republic Garden Lounge and Patio, it's time for Sir Wieners. So guess who's here? Our favorite, Leah CEO. Sir Wieners, did I knight that motherfucker? I don't think so. You are not sir until I tell you you're sir. Welcome to Sir Wieners. I am Leah motherfucking CEO. You see like flames going up to the side of like Republic and like a...

And Leah shows up on a Harley, takes off her mask. Hey, motherfuckers. Leah CEOs here, sir. Wieners. How about fuck you? Wieners. I'll tell you what. Wieners get to come in here. The only wiener I care about is the one that's going into my vag after my shift. Now clean that table.

You know what? Are you putting merch here? Because if I was you, I would move that furniture and put merch there. But I don't want to step on any wieners here. I'm only a CE motherfucking O. You do it how you want to do it. Would you like to lose money today? Good. You're on the right track. Congratulations. I'm not getting paid for this shit. I don't want to ruffle any feathers. Literal feathers. You gay bird. You have feathers.

Sorry, I lost track. That one got away from me. You know, even CEOs have trouble sometimes. Sometimes it's hard to come up with a good diss. I'll probably get written up by HR. But guess what? HR reports to me, motherfuckers. Yeah, Lee C.O. is back. Back. Back on top of it. Oh my God. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

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pick up Arm & Hammer Deep Clean today. Available in-store or online at major retailers nationwide. So she's like, wow, so you're going to put hot dogs on actual hot dog buns instead of little napkins that can be wiped across a table to make it cleaner. Good for you. In the mood to lose money? You're on the right track, you fucking snoozer. I

I'm like very anxious about today, especially because Leah's CEO keeps on trying to snort the hot dogs like they're cocaine. I don't know what she's doing. It's relish. But I feel organized and that makes me turned on organization. And the cart is on display and we have merchandise on both sides and all the hot dogs are going to come out of the kitchen today and be passed around like hors d'oeuvres because it's the debut and start of a brand and I want it to be a success. I'm like, you're not going to pull the hot dogs out of the hot dog cart?

The hot dog cart is purely for photographic reasons. I think it is because how can you do, I mean, he has a huge menu. He made hot dogs. I took a screenshot of it. I shouldn't look through my screenshots right now. I've taken screenshots of so many shameful things. Okay. Sir. Wiener's menu, the PB Wiener time, the you up dog, the meanie weenie, the dumpster dog, fully loaded, all beef, hot dog toast with chili melted cheese. Basically there's a ton of stuff on here and it's,

There's a lot of toppings. Where are you going to put those on that hot dog cart? That's what I don't understand. You need a bigger cart and you need a flat top. I'm actually on his web. I have to say, by the way, the website's great.

I'm on the website right now. It has this adorable little like 2007 animated gif of Sir Wieners going in rotation. But honestly, they killed it. Like the photography is good. It's clean. Okay. So he has the dumpster dog, which is fully loaded. There's a lot of hot dogs. These are a lot of hot dogs. Man.

Man, a $71 hoodie. Yeah, you better send us one. $71? Okay, I have to say, the worst wiener, this is not an appealing photo. Some of the food photography needs to be worked on. The worst wiener looks literally like a dookie. But you know what, though? The dumpster dog looks good. The PB wiener time looks good. Wait, a hot dog layered with smooth peanut butter, crunchy pretzels, diced bacon, and a touch of garlic crunch? What the fuck is that?

i have to tell you the meanie weenie looks really good the worst wiener i i just would like um a regular hot dog though do you just have like regular oh the worst one does look like a dead person the worst wiener is worse wiener needs some help it's like a little pale and looks like the onions are falling off of it like we need to redo that photo but um you up dog is the traditional plain hot dogs with ketchup and mustard so but it's dijon mustard so it's not traditional it i agree i mean some yellow mustard

Yeah. I do like, I like that the hot dog looks like it's in a little blanket. Like the hot dog looks like it's asleep in a bed. And also the pickles on the, it's all about wieners look a little pale. I need a different picture for that one too. We're going to need to upgrade that, that those pickles. I will say the hot dog buns look good. They look kind of, the buns look, they look, the buns look great. I would say 80% of these hot dogs look really good. I would eat, honestly, I would eat every single one of them. Yeah.

Find our wieners. Lamar's hot dog for me today. Okay, so then people start showing up and there's like a big martini full of tiny little hot dog things in there. And Will sees it and he's like, oh, my God, hot dogs in a martini glass. Oh, God. Objection. Oh, yeah. You don't like it. Would you prefer hot dogs in a tort of some kind? Yeah.

So then I hate hot dogs. I find them like disgusting hot dogs are like the lowest tier of sausages. You're the lowest tier of sausage. You are the lowest tier of sausage. How dare you? The lowest one. Oh my goodness. Like literally hot dogs are wonderful. They are, they're the most, they're the most accessible tier of hot of sausage. Doesn't mean that they're the worst.

- No, he's the most accessible form of sausage. - He is accessible and the worst. He's the worst worst. So Emmy comes in and she is doing a Leon Lock and hot dog slash Bronwyn costume.

And she's like, "Everyone, hey, ask me about my wiener. Ask me about my wiener." And Will's like, "I think Emmy wins best dressed, guys. Look, she dressed like a hot dog. Isn't that hilarious?" Yeah. So she's like, "Hey guys, I got a wiener costume from Amazon. I'm the best friend here. It's amazing." And he's like, "Would you pass some wieners?" She's like, "Oh, okay." He's put her right to work.

And then TJ's passing around hot dog platters and people are like, everyone's excited. And Mia's working too. And she goes, I don't know who's a better friend than me because I'm working for free at a place I got fired from. And we see a flashback to her getting fired. And so that was pretty good when she thought she was being all badass with Leba. She's like, I mean, there are plenty of people that you haven't fired here who have been drinking on the job. She goes, like who? Like me.

You've been drinking on the job? Yeah.

You're fired. And she's like, I wonder if she'll ever come. I wonder if the level will ever hire her back. Cause she's like, now Mia's in that purgatory that happens on these hospitality shows where you don't work at the restaurant anymore. So there's not really a reason for you to be around, but you still sort of like linger on the sidelines. So did it for at least six of the 10 years. So I think they'll be okay. Yeah. So, um,

Now Taylor and Rodrigo show up from Southern Charm. So watch out, everyone. Someone call the Charisma Police. This was sad. I was like, wow, the stars are all out today. Rodrigo. Have you noticed, not Rodrigo, Rod, have you noticed that Taylor has a totally different personality on this show? It's weird. I didn't. I was about to say that. Relaxed and energetic. Yeah. I noticed that as well. She seems like she's like,

like uh she doesn't seem shell-shocked she doesn't seem traumatized she doesn't seem like she's in the middle of a lobotomy on this show yes oh and speaking of lobotomies by the way people definitely tune in to hear our dwell hello that we're going to record this week because there's definitely a southern lobotomy girl that's happened that's on this yeah there really is she's like i want the bigger i want a view

So, um, home, I need it. Yeah. I don't care if it costs more money. I have a dog named Lottie. Lottie, do you like this view? I want it all. So yeah, the stars are out tonight. So love is talking to Maddie. She's like, how was Vegas? And Maddie's like, it was so much fun. We got fake married. Don't worry though. It was only fake. Don't ask Joe about it. He thinks it's real. Um, super fun. I'm just like, what? I have no rings.

So it was a commitment ceremony. It was just, it was hilarious. And I was like, yeah, sounds great. I'm going to go hang out with little. So then Brad is talking to Joe and he's like, Hey, congratulations on the marriage. When's the honeymoon, huh? He's like, oh yeah, I'm, I'm on like a one-year plan. Like I want to propose like pretty soon. It's like, really? Like how long have you guys actually been dating for? Like four months, but it feels like we've been like dating for like a year or so. It's like, we're pretty much married.

And Brad's like, I don't know what quantum physics Joey Bottles has been doing, but four months does not translate into a year. So quantum physics, guys. All right. Yeah. She's like a fucking DJ now. And like, if she like goes on the road and I'm like not with her, I just like, I like the feeling of being engaged, you know? Like, that's nice. So then, um,

Brad's like, yeah, Joe's a little insecure there. You know, he doesn't want to be left behind. So then TJ is mingling around and love is like, oh my God, this event is like such a success. I'm like so proud of TJ, you know, like he's not only benefiting me, he's benefiting my spaces. So Sir Wiener's partnership to

I think the hot dogs are going to play really well with the Tommy Bahama set. So now we go, now the music's like, work hard, play harder, work hard, play harder, work hard, play harder. Will's not cheating. I'm like, whoa. Oh, okay. So then inside, we go inside a Republic and TJ is, he pulls Emmy aside to talk. And she's like, she's like,

She's like, hi, hi. And he goes, I just want to thank you for yesterday. I just feel like it's been like a rough summer for us. And I want to make sure that we're both on the same page. Yeah, of course we're on the same page. Just like how me and Will are on totally on the same page. We're going to get married and like we're in love and like he doesn't cheat. Like pages. I love pages. I love books. You know what I love?

No, like more than books, magazines. And I can't wait to see me in the magazine with Kate and Will when we move to London. And he's a barrister. And we're like friends going on double dates. Oh, what's going on? We're like totally fine. I mean, I bought a wiener outfit. So like, have you seen it? I was wearing it. It was hilarious.

He's like, can I ask you something? So, last night, I thought we were, like, really loving each other and we're in a better place. But then when you left, Taylor was like, Emmy said, this is all your fault this summer. And you're just like a stupid vacuumer and you're never going to find love. And.

And she's like, oh, no, no. Go, Taylor. I was afraid she was going to say that. What I was saying was, like, I really support hot dogs, and I'm totally into you, and you're doing an amazing job. So weird. I wonder how she heard that. Yeah. I didn't blame you. I didn't blame you for it whatsoever. Not at all. Nothing. Everything's fine. Everything is totally fine. Because I just, like, want to truly believe that, like, it wasn't, like, trying to conspire or, like, come after you. Like, I just want you to believe that. Which, by the way, you were. I know. I know.

TJ's like, I hope that it didn't come off like I'm trying to ruin your relationship with Will because he's a cheating bastard and I want you to break up. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want you to think anything like you don't want less of me. No, no, no. I don't think less of you. I

I don't think that you have bad intentions or that you're a bad friend. You're just like an unsupportive friend. You're just someone who's not there. There's someone trying to like hurt me and Will, hurt like our relationship, hurt like what we're trying to do here, trying to like this project that we're on, this mission, this journey. And you're just kind of like a spoke in the wheel and we're just going to crash and like we're going to like break our limbs all because of you. But I love you and I love you and I support you and you're hot dogs. And there's been like a lot going on and all that. And like I think Serena was the perfect event to bring us back together and, you know, like for no good reason, just hot dogs. But like we're together now. We're friends. Everything's fine. Everything's okay.

Yeah, so she's like kissing his butt. She's like, I mean, Mr. Wieners, you're like the king of dicks, am I right? So it's like fitting. It's great. It's great. We're good. We're good. We're good. Hot dog. I'm hot dog. And so then she tells us, she's like, yeah, I don't trust TJ. I mean, he'll turn on you if it benefits him. Like if he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, you're on his fucking bad side. It's exhausting. And that's why I'm being friend to him because I'm like terrified of him. Okay, let's roll a clip of him yelling at women. So then we get that clip.

And she's like, yeah. So I'm going to be nice to him so he doesn't ruin my life. So I hope he doesn't hear this. Yeah. So now everyone's going to start their shifts and everything. And Joe goes up to TJ and he's like, I just want you to know I'm really inspired by your Sir Wieners event. I think I'm going to have an event called Sir Married. It'll just be pictures of Maddie's face that we're going to hand out. It'll be great.

So TJ's like, my event was amazing. The bar did five grand on Wednesday and I sold a hundred tickets at the door. So I basically made all my money back. I was like, how much were those tickets? $1,000.

So TJ is like, by the way, I just like really appreciated the text you sent me. Oh yeah. The text where I sent a hot dog emoji and was like, good job. Yeah. It really would have hurt me if we weren't cool when you had that party. Cause like in my bones, I would have been like, fuck, you know, anyway, I love you too. Are we married? No, I'm already married, bro. Sorry.

So then the next day at Maddie's house, she's talking to her mom, Mary Ellen. And Mary Ellen is like, she goes, hey, mom, how are you doing? She goes, I'm running around. Good, good. Running around. Incredibly busy. So what is Joe there? Is Joe there at your house? And she's like, no, mom, but we did get fake married. And she's like, did you sign any fake papers, Madison? It's like, no, mom, I'm not stupid. Did you fuck him on TV again? Because I told you if you fucked another person on TV, I was going to be very upset. No, mom. Seriously. Yeah.

he didn't put a ring around your finger no like literally hello fucking hell mom like if anything it was like a commitment ceremony and like i appreciate that reassurance from joe because that like he would want that from me from one day she goes okay so um how long have you been dating that idiot um uh mom i mean that lovely man like almost like five months

"Yeah, okay, this is moving fast, Mad. Okay, yeah, I've been out of that relationship with Trevor for like only like a second, you know?" And, "Yeah, no, for sure, for sure, Mom. Yeah, for sure." But like, I trust Joe and like I love him and I could see a future with him and he's like my best friend. Like, I mean that, Mom. But like, I don't think we're ready to like get fucking married, but like, we don't even like live with each other. I just think like my number one priority is like my career right now.

She's like, well, we dad and I taught you how to be an independent woman, honey. And your identity is Maddie Reese, DJ. Hello, fucking Ellen. Don't you forget it. She's like, OK, mom. So then don't forget we're a household that loves music. Remember, that was her thing from season one. I grew up in a household like everyone in my family likes music. I'm really musical. That's why I'm so musical. We're basically like the sound of music family. But, you know, with old Michael Jackson records and a play button.

So then Joe comes home and she's on the couch and he's like, you look really pretty right now. You look like my wife. You are my wife. So what are you working on? DJ shit? Are you like remixing wedding music? Like, don't cry out loud. Is that a wedding song? I meant, shall we dance that one where the girl's dad is dead, but like she still dances at the wedding. That was like really sad. I'm crying. Why don't you do something that's like,

Should we do like a remix that's like going to the chapel, but it's like a reference to Chapel Rowan. Like we're going to a Chapel Rowan concert, but it's like, so it's current, but it's also like referencing that we got married, you know? You know what I'm saying? Wait a minute. Chapel Rowan's yelling at me right now in my head and calling me disrespectful. Nevermind. Take her out of it. Take her out of it.

I'm like, "Hot to go." So Maddie is like, she's like, "No, I'm looking at houses to buy right now, Joe." She's like, "Wait, oh yeah, fuck yeah, Zillow." Fuck yeah, Zillow. - Fuck yeah, Zillow. - I thought it was gonna be like Redfin, but it's like, fuck yeah, Zillow. - Yeah, fuck yeah. - Yeah, fuck yeah. Like, are you looking for houses for yourself or for like us?

Oh God, this scene is so cringe to watch. She's like, "Well, I want to invest in real estate and I'm sick of paying rent and I have to grow up and live on my own or I guess live with you, but I really like living with my girlfriends, Joe." And he goes, "Yeah, but I like living with your girlfriends too, but it's been five months of me going all the way over there and spending every night there and on all my things." It's grueling. It's really grueling. Buy me a house.

- Yeah, like I live like two minutes from Republic where Matt and where Maddie lives, that's like 45 minutes away. I don't own a car and if I added up all the Ubers that I spent on going back and forth, I could have like a G wagon or like maybe not a G wagon, but like a Tahoe or like maybe like not a Tahoe, but like maybe like a used Geo Prism. Like it's like a lot. - Then buy a car and stop your bitching.

I know, or at least hire Trevor to bike you over there on his little rickshaw. So Joe's like, oh, so we're like moving in together? Cause like I have money saved up too. And she goes, um, no, that's like pressure. Okay. And we're like in this honeymoon phase. But I want to communicate like how you feel about it. Cause like, I'm not pressuring you. I'm just saying like, my honest truth is like, we're married and we need to live together like yesterday.

You know what I mean? And she's like, we don't need to make that decision right now, Joe. She's like, why am I paying rent when you could be buying a house? Like, this is ridiculous. Like, I can't just like drive to that house 30 minutes. Like, I'm just not, I'm not doing that for another year. Then don't.

Yeah, then don't. What the fuck are you talking about? Even she says, then don't. Like, if you want to stay here, then stay here. I just feel like I go to your house to sleep with you because, like, I want to be with you. But sometimes I feel like you could care less if I'm there. Like, you're not, like, going to compromise with me on that. I'm like, Joe...

then make her miss you a little bit. It's that simple. - Oh my God, Joe, you've basically got a child putting a dry cleaning bag over their head and running around the house. You're suffocating them, okay? Stop suffocating her. She acts like she doesn't want you to be there 'cause she doesn't want you to be there. And you're there all the fucking time. Go home, Joe, go home. - Yeah.

Can I ask you something, Joe? Years ago, you gave me a really hard time about moving in with my boyfriend like you did out of everyone. And we see a flashback to Watch What Happens Live where like Joe's giving Maddie like all sorts of shit for moving in with Trevor. And by the way, I just want to say to those two Bravo fans who called in to ask that question that caused all this shit. Congratulations. You not only caused a storyline to happen, but you also caused a storyline to happen.

on the show, but you got to have like a really long amount of bonus airtime on Bravo. That was really cool. Good job. You're like, what are you talking about, Ben? 'Cause the flashback where like these two people who asked Joe and Maddie something like, do you think that they moved in too quickly? And so they were up on screen. They were having this argument, but these two girls were like up on screen sort of smiling. - Oh my God. Yeah, Watch What Happens Live provides the most mess for these shows for sure.

And he's like, she's like, but you're putting me in the same situation, Joe. And he's like, oh, you're the one looking at houses. Like, I mean, look, like, does that guy make you a better person? Okay. Look, let me phrase it this way. Does your husband make you a better person? Like, like, are you better at work? Do I make you a better DJ? Like,

Who's the one who taught you the crossfade whoopie? Okay. That was me. Okay. So I give you more confidence. Are you happy sleeping with me six out of seven times a week or seven out of seven times a week? Like, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you are? And she's like, yes, Joe. And he's like, and the fact that you had to even think about it, she's like, I didn't have to think about it, but it's like the whole world ripped me apart from moving in with Trevor. And now you want me to do it again?

Yeah, but that was like two years ago and he was like driving a bike taxi down fucking King Street and he had like you had no future with that guy. I'm a food with me. I'm I stand in the front of a club and I'm like you want to come in? You want to come in like that's a future that guy never flashed a pamphlet at anybody. So that guy never went to a kitchen and said, okay, we need happy birthday at table 47. Like that's that's someone with a future. Okay, and she's got a point but she's trying to win.

a she's trying to win like a logical argument with joe she's basically saying you judged me for moving in too quick but now you want me to move in with you even quicker like leave me alone that shouldn't be the argument the argument should be like it's nice dating you we're not really married i'm not ready to move in with you period i'm buying a house and we're not buying a house stop it you're suffocating me and matt is going to either cheat on him or break up with him there's no way

Because she's so not into this. And it's not because she doesn't want to move in with him and all of this. You can tell she just does not want to be in this. And I think she's in the situation where she's like, now we're in it. And now if I break up with you, I'm going to get a bunch of shit because now you're like this sweetheart, you know, and you're looking like the perfect boyfriend when you're really being kind of a controlling asshole. And now the world's going to rip me apart again if I break up with you.

you know? Yeah. And like, there's a part of me that wonders if she's just in like nice guy rebound phase. Cause sometimes like people who date toxic men will date like the nice guy to feel like they are on the route, like breaking the cycle, but they're not, their heart's not really into it. And then they go back to the toxicity, which is very sad, but,

It does. I've seen it happen like a million times with people. So then Maddie's like, no, Joe, I'm just saying like, after you don't know what it's like to make a decision and have people comment and then be like, you're an idiot. You're stupid. Okay. I dated him for a year before I moved in. And like, first of all, stop the car. Joe knows what it's like to be called an idiot on the internet. Yeah. We've been doing it for three years. Yeah. It's

Go ahead. Start the car. So then she's just like, I mean, what's that saying? If it ain't broke, don't do a remix of it. No, don't fix it. Are you sure it's not remix it? No, fix it. By the way, have you heard all the controversy? I mean, that's basically the whole conversation. But have you heard the controversy of her song that she came out with? It's a total ripoff.

No. You haven't? Oh, it's a total fucking ripoff. It's not even original at all. Well, she didn't rip off anybody worth a damn. No offense. But La La La La La was not original? No, it's Lala's song. Lala had another song. Oh, it really is Lala. Yes. Lala was a ripoff of Lala. Yeah, it was a ripoff of Lala, but it turns out, allegedly, it's like something you could just buy online. And DJs will buy online and kind of remix to be their own thing. And she didn't change anything about it.

Yeah. And there are sites like that for DJs where you can find, you know, beats and stuff like that to mix in. But apparently they just took this whole song and just,

maybe put some la-la's over it, but... It's like using GarageBand to string together some loops and then releasing a single, which is what I did for my Countess Luanne songs. But I also didn't do that as a serious... Yeah, we do it for this. Yeah, but it's not serious. We're not real. But no, because we actually put the stuff together. We chose different beats out of GarageBand and mix and match our beats. She didn't do that. She literally took something that was already done and...

Yikes. And then she's been deleting all the comments and stuff. Guys, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Is that what that saying is? Yeah, well, things sometimes break. The end. So, wow. I did not know that. That's a fun little piece of controversy. That's like, I love a controversy like that. Like a low stakes, low wattage, you know, like theft situation. It's great. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being here for some Southern Hospital. We'll be back later. Well, we'll be back every day, but later in the week is our Traders Recap. Our most recent Traders Recap is already up, so go check that out over at Patreon. And if you want these on videos, patreon.com. If you want tickets, watch whatcrapins.com for all our live shows coming up in March, April, and May. We sure love you guys.

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