#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
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Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Harry goes into Vion's cab and he's like, so I just asked Brianna out on a date and she said yes. And they like high five, which is funny because Vion really...

Vianna's being very chill about the fact that he really wants to go after Brianna, and now his underling has stolen Brianna, as is rightfully... He is as... He is as... Not do. He is...

It's not a proprietary thing, but I'm saying that in other Below Decks, people would take the stance of like, she was mine and I'm the boss. She belongs to me first. The picking order, bro. And Vion's just like, guess I lost. Yeah. And not only that, but he also got stuck with Harry in his room. And now the other room is just Johnny. So he could move. He should move back to the other room again.

Yeah, he should. Because now Vian has to just sit here and listen to Harry talk about how Harry kissed the girl that Vian liked. But you know what, though? I think this actually, in an episode where we're talking about testosterone-less, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I think this actually speaks of big dick energy from Vian. Because he's chill about it. He doesn't unravel. He's not insecure about it. His identity is not wrapped up in being able to get the model on the boat. He's like, fine, great. I missed out. On to the next. He's also wanting to bang everybody on the boat.

about, which is what we find out in his next monologue. He's like, "Well, I thought I had chemistry with Brie, but you know, Harry ended that experiment for me. However, I'm still looking for love. You know, Serena's awesome. We're having fun. Like who doesn't like attention? I love, I love that's such a guy thing. Like, well, he's giving me attention. She's giving me attention. So I like her." And then they make a little heart with Serena and then Marina. Marina and Serena. Wow.

I never really noticed that. So he also likes her cause she's very forward and she can really appreciate a scuba diving trip. So that turns him on. And also how can you not like a Brazilian? I mean, Adair, I mean, she's hot, you know, she's spunky. She's used to being covered in mud. Who doesn't love that? You know, and Laura was sure her eyebrows are a little askew, but otherwise she's like a, she's like a Barbie put together with a potato head. You know, who doesn't want to fuck that? So he's like in love with everybody on the boat. So he doesn't care.

he really is he's uh you know always looking for an open port oh what's that no is there a lady in there i hear a lady talking i know it's not there's not like is your phone oh my god it's my watch shut the up what's your it was playing a commercial

From the writer's panel panel podcast. What a creep that creeped me the hell out. And I looked down and it's only Bueller there. And I was like, finally, Bueller's talking to me. This is the end. Your task rabbit arrived.

It's like, surprise. Sorry, my hot brother was ill today. So here I am, a lady who you definitely want to fuck, right? I'm like, sorry, Ben, but there's somebody standing downstairs holding a boombox up and playing something romantic. Gotta go. My TaskRabbit's here. I would love it if that's how TaskRabbit's arrived. So now everyone goes to bed.

and now people wake up it's the next day and zarina uh is in the kitchen and she drops a giant pan on the floor i was like and i was like wow i'm sure the sound department really appreciated all that in their headphones right now i was like oh god zarina you're such a grumpy cup fitness today and then captain comes in and he just looks down and goes good morning protein bowls she's like yeah do you want one he goes

He's like disgusted with the protein bars. He's like, why? I think that we want to be starting to haul, so pick up Anchor Ball at 11. And so Vian's like, okay, sure, Harry can drive the tenders, yada, yada, yada. And so Harry is then checking in on Brianna, asking if she slept well. And he's like, I'm planning a date. It's in my head. Oh, we're going to go on a date. She's like, you are? He's like, yeah, I'll let you know when I have a plan. She's like, I'm so excited. I'm like, literally...

Please don't subject us to their date. My least favorite thing on Below Deck. A sweet Below Deck date. I literally thought when I saw this, I was like, let me guess, you're going to go to an ice cream shop. Because doesn't that sound so, like, Harry? Like, I've got a date. We're going to a soda shop. We're going to get a little ice cream. Then after that, maybe we'll play a little skee-ball or something like that. It just seems very Harry. And that's what they do. They go get some ice cream. Yeah. I called.

Yeah. And it's just as boring as you can imagine. So then beyond, meanwhile, asking a dare, if she's excited, like what for two tonight going out with the, with the group. And she's like, yeah, and there are a lot of outfits I want to wear that I can't wear because my belly is so pale. And like, you know, yeah, cause my belly's pale compared to the rest of my body. So I can't show off my belly, but yeah,

So now they are on deck and Vian's talking about who likes who, and he thinks Adair liked Anthony and Harry's like, well, who's she going to fancy now? And Vian's like, I don't know. She's definitely my type. Well, they're all kind of my type in a way. I can find something about everybody.

So then we cut to the table and the guest, Eric, is like, yeah, let me tell you guys. Women have the power to control men if they just knew a few little secrets. Now, let me tell you, I need you to tell me I'm the man every day. Number one.

Number two, touch me non-sexually every day. And I need you to fuck me regularly. That's all you need to do. Then you can totally control. Just that. Just that. I need you. I need to deal with your fragility every single day by saying that you're the man because you don't have enough self-esteem to arrive to that conclusion on your own. So you need external validation for me because I'm

Otherwise, your entire worldview will collapse. Okay, got it. Number two, you need me to touch you non-sexually every day, but also very sexually every day. Got it. So you just want to be touched. You just want to be fucked and touched every single day. Okay, so you're basically needy and alone in this world. And without some sort of physical or emotional connection, you are just going to crumble because you don't have enough energy.

You don't have enough confidence in yourself to just forge forward like a true wolf and just shut the fuck up and do what you have to do to get your money and get food on the table. - Got it. Number one, tell me my hair looks real. Number two, tell me it looks like I naturally don't grow hair on my back. And number three, tell me my face doesn't look like a baseball glove. The end, yeah, let me come all over you. - Wow, that's it? - All right. - Sounds easy. - Here are the three secrets.

Here's the three secrets that women can use to control men. First of all, serve lattes that are 30 calories or less. Second of all,

Fuck me after the latte. Third of all, second latte, please. But it has to be zero calories. I already used my 30 calories up in the first one. That's it. So Lara's listening to this because she's behind the bar and she's like, what? He's like, yeah. And you come home with a list of shit. I'll do it. But don't start with that. Start with support. Like this hand. Touch my arm, doc. Yeah, bro. Touch it. Touch it. Touch it, bro. Touch my hand. Oh, yeah. Oh.

Oh, God, it just came out of my pants. Oh, my God. Fuck. You want me to do the laundry? I'll fucking do it. Yeah. Touch me, bro.

Guys, we live in a society full of beta men snowflakes that are all like, "Oh, emotions, emotions, okay? Fuck those bros. We need to be an alpha male." An alpha male who, when confronted with some things that he may need to do, says, "I can't hear that right now. It's too much for me. Come on, touch my arm instead. Touch my arm." That's what a real alpha does. What a douchebag. And can we just have one meal? Can your poor friends have one meal? We're not trying to sell your self-help bullshit. My God.

So, Laura's like, yeah, I've met people like Eric before, and they're my ex-boyfriends for a reason. Most likely because they couldn't stop looking at me kind of cross-eyed trying to figure my eyebrows out, and then left. I didn't like them either, so. You know what? Guy, I just want to add one more thing. Men have a connection to women that shows love through sex. Yeah. Well, I'm sure this guy has a lot of self-love, too. So, um...

Now it's drop off day. So everyone's excited about that to get this bullshit. Like men really men really show their emotions through sex. No, they don't. Men can fuck goats like men. Men can fuck anything. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, those words will be used against you because when you inevitably cheat on your woman and you say, no, it meant nothing. It was just like, whatever. It didn't mean anything. You're on camera saying when you fuck, it's because you love someone. You're showing love through fucking. So congratulations. You just condemned yourself for all future cheating excuses. Well, whatever I'm trying to say.

Yeah, I gotcha. I gotcha. He's backing himself into a corner for sure. Thank you. Much better. So then they finally get to drop off these fucking losers. So Serena's talking to the captain about crew lunch. She's like, what did you want for crew lunch? And he's like, nothing. You've got all this food left over. And she's like, well, we've got to eat something for the night out. I mean, last time they'd sat down and hadn't...

I hadn't even had a proper lunch. I mean, it's a lot for them. It's a lot of work. I've got to make them food. He's like, then just put this food out there. I mean, make them some wraps with it. And she's like, we don't have wraps. Lady is trying to make this easier on you. Yeah. And he's like, well, this is lunch. And she goes, is it? He's like, yeah. I mean, just turn this into a brunch. It's fine. It's all breakfast food. She goes, really?

And Jason's like, I generally understand, you know, I generally know Zarina cares for the crew. And to me, to say don't feed them, that's fine. That's against what she would want to do. But she's just had that problem with the sous chef. Didn't work out. So we can support ourselves with the food that's there. There's enough food there. We're not going to starve. And basically, he tells Lara, like, yeah, we'll just have this brunch food after dinner.

After the tip meeting or whatever, or we'll have it early. Like, this is going to be the food that you're going to have and you'll eat dinner later tonight. And so Lara's like, okay, sort of like a brunch, whatever. But Zarina is like losing her mind. Yeah. So then the guests, or Johnny is cleaning, you know, they're cleaning, whatever. So Lara checks on Zarina later and she's like, oh my God, Jason's just pissing me off. I mean, I've just done breakfast. Now I have to add on to it by doing nothing with...

This food, what is she complaining about? He didn't ask her to do anything extra. He asked her to do less. Yeah. She's like, I don't know. I think she's just in a spiral and she's like, I mean, so I have to make this other breakfast and now like stuff's going to get cold and now he wants me to do more stuff. And on top of that, you know, Vian is just like in love with me. So I have to deal with that. It starts to get a lot of pressure on me. And just like the whole reason why we do it after the tip meeting, she starts going on and on and on about it. And he's right there in the next room over and she's going on and on

on and on and on. And finally he just walks in and he's like, "All right, what's the problems, Lorena? Do you want a kimono? What's going on here? I'll save you cooking in preparation after the meeting. I'm more than happy to have you cook again. Do you see what I'm trying to say? I'm trying to save you from having to cook more." She's like, "Oh!" She starts to cry like a scolded daughter.

And he tells us, don't stop picking a fight with me. I'm on your side. I'm here to support you. Make your job easier. I've come up with a solution. You don't like it, then don't listen to it. You know, is this the way it's going to be all season? I'm not going to put up with it. I'll tell you that. Oh, no. So then it just cuts to Serena still crying in the kitchen. She's like, I have to make too much, but I can't make anything.

So then Lara's consoling her and Serena's like, "Yeah, it's just hard trying to get used to being a solo chef again. I'm still really in my head around that, getting my head around it. It just didn't need Jason and I fighting on top of it. I put so much pressure on myself that I just get into my head about it. I just think after being bullied and put down and let down, I kind of do it to myself now. I'm my own biggest villain, you know? That's why I don't like to put spoons out there. You only get smacked on the head with a spoon so many times in your life that you don't want to put it into a bowl for people, you know?"

So Captain Jason's like, all right, everyone, time to dock or whatever. So they go and they dock. Thank God we get some more wisdom from Eric before he leaves. He's like, you know what's funny? If you fast for three days and you eat like five Tic Tacs, your veins pop out of your arms like you're the Hulk. Look at my veins. You didn't fast for three days. What the fuck are you talking about? We watched you eat.

Yeah. And I don't think the veins are popping because of the Tic Tacs. The steroids. Yeah. Yeah, man. Intermittent fasting followed by a Tic Tac break fast. Yeah. Does amazing things for your vascularity, bro.

Alright, so now they have to dock the boat. And he's like, alright, just wanted to say good call on that marine pier up there on my port side. Nice job, deck crew. And Vian's like, copy that. I'll keep my audiobook down. So the guests say goodbye and everything. And Eric has this really important goodbye speech. He goes...

Oh man, you guys are such a gift. I mean, there's not one toxic trait in this crew. I'm like literally, okay, you're not, so this is how I know you're a charlatan because you cannot be on below deck without being full of toxic traits. So the fact that you didn't pick up on all the toxic traits swirling around you shows that you're a fraud. But he goes, you guys are incredible. You're going to inspire the world. This is for you guys, my toxic traitless friends.

So he hands it off and then he goes, then Eric goes to his car with his friends. He goes, "One of the best exit speeches on earth just happened. They all loved it." "Wait till I tell Thibaut about this. The only way this could have been better is if I had a screen with starving children in Africa above me while I said it. God damn it, I'm good." So everyone's clean, everyone cleans up their throat. "Starving children in Africa."

once i gave them three tick tocks you should have seen their veins you should have seen so uh now it's uh time for the tip meeting everyone goes to the meeting there's no disco helmet this this time he goes well we lost a crew member and we'll do our best to get a substitute and you'll probably be doing the next charter by yourself at the spawns arena and whether the dick's a man not down or a thumb down we're going to move around to support each other because that's what we're here to do

So basically, he was going to give that to Serena. I thought he was going to be like, well, Anthony is not here, but you're the department head. So you have to wear it, Serena. But I think he just wanted to avoid the tears. Yeah. So he basically was like, yeah, this helmet belongs to Anthony. And then he's like, all right, the tip was $22,000. And we're going to take Anthony's tip. Everyone's like, personally, no.

for these guys to talk somewhat this guy to talk so much about success to be uh and it was a two-day charter yada yada yada i don't know i personally thought it should have been twenty five thousand dollars for tip not twenty two thousand dollars so honestly this guy you can talk about being an alpha male all you want but you certainly tips like a beta male but he left them nuggets of wisdom which are priceless you know what i mean say the dragon the dragon man

So now, Rihanna's passing Serena's room and she's shirtless, but she's wearing this like pink bra with diamond straps. And he's like, "What are you doing?" And she's like, "Yeah, it's because all my other ones are dirty and I haven't got around to washing them." So, you know,

Sniffing her armpits. She's like, yeah, you know, I just wear my party lingerie when I'm cooking now. And he's like, yeah, I've got him. Got him hooked. I don't know how anyone could look at Vian and not be attracted to him. Obviously, I have a type. Manly, short, muscly guy. So I'm hoping I could get to know him a bit better. And we see pictures of, like, Culver.

that didn't work out so well so um she's like i reckon i've got another day in this one this bra which i like to spend my lady musk he's like all right very nice very nice so um um people are gonna go are gonna go out and everything and they're talking about hair and like oh you look good etc and marina's saying that she has a crush on bion and she's like you know he's handsome he's a nice guy and i want to get to know him a little bit more but i demand a lot and

Maybe he's got what it takes. I demand much scuba. That's scuba for grandpa. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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So now they go eat and Marina's like, so they're all saying, "Bon appetit." And Marina's like, "Well, how do you say bon appetit in your own language? You all speak English. Do it." And Dior goes, "Dig in!" "Dig in!" Is that what we say in English? So then Harry is offering a prawn to Brianna because they're in love. And she's like, "Um, I don't think so. I've never had one of those."

And he's like, really? It's like, you've never had a prawn. You haven't been to South Africa, have you? And she's like, no. So she tries a prawn and she likes it.

So the chemistry is off the charts. Yeah, it's huge. Like, listen, the man who gives you your first prawn. I mean, come on. So Zarina has dated a few South Africans and she's like, but she's telling this to Vian and she's like, but I've only been cheated on by South Africans. So it's a bit of a soft spot for me. And he goes, don't worry, I'm half Dutch. I cheat on you, but I'm on time. Sorry, that's Swiss people. What are Dutch people known for?

I cheat on you, but I give you a good chocolate after. I'm always on time. I it's funny that he is half Dutch. Cause I can totally see him wearing one of those like old timey Dutch hats, you know, in the paintings, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Little buckles and he is like, actually now that I, he is so, he is so Baroque period. If you'd think, if you really look at Vian, like, look at like a Baroque Dutch painting. Paratights and some lederhosen.

Like with that hat, like wearing those hats, that big swoopy hat and then like the white, like frilly thing here. I could totally see Vian like that. That is really the era that he should be in. Yeah. So we go back to my favorite storyline, Brianna trying a prawn and she's like, "Oh, that's actually really good. It's like what I told you, our children are gonna love them." She's like, "Oh my God, do you think it's going to talk to me about feeding me that prawn?"

If we kiss and we have prawns in our mouth, does it still count as a kiss or is it the prawns are kissing? I don't know. There's just like so many things racing through my head. So Johnny, meanwhile, has a story. He shows Marina a photo of him with his grandfather. He's like, he's Johnny. I'm Johnny. She goes, oh. I do it at every dinner. Yeah.

Who doesn't do that? Who doesn't just whip out a picture of their grandfather at dinner? Like, oh, look, my grandfather.

oh that's great he's johnny i'm johnny my father he had affairs so my mother sent him off when i was five years old but growing up i used to hate my father and then he tried to bring us back into his life and i'm friends with him he's not my father though he's not johnny i'm john grandfather johnny he's just another johnny

Just another Johnny. So, um, so Marina's like, so he's not your father figure. And he's like, no, my mother is both father and mother. Where's her picture then? My mother, Johnny.

So he's like, my mother is definitely a get shit done person. My brother and I, she raised us crazy boys. She was cleaning. She was cooking. I was floating off in the middle of the ocean because I got lost one time. But she was doing two or three jobs. Now she's 62 and she has six pack. Yeah, I got that from her. Definitely. Yeah. She must have been going to Eric's stuff. She's like, no excuses, Johnny. No excuses. Johnny Slay Dragon.

Marina's like, for me, family is my priority in life. It's like, yes. Tell me about your journey. So now everyone leaves. Okay, so we just got to stop the car for a second because casting, hi. So this is now another deck crew who comes from a parent that loves him. Are you even working over there? Shelly, anybody over there? Okay, go ahead. Yeah, it's a bit of a problem.

So they're back on the boat, Zarina hugs Vian in like the... She hugs him. And Zarina's like, "So what's going on? Like, is this real? Is this real?" And he picks her up and she's like, "Am I heavy?" He's like, "No." And they're just being very flirty and physical, you know?

And then Marina and Adair decide to go to bed while everyone else goes up to the hot tub. And they are in the hot tub, which Harry is sitting in. Harry, what are you doing in that hot tub with your thumb? Keep your thumb away from the water. It's a gremlin, okay? But they play truth or dare. You got time to tub. You got time to scrub, boy. That's right. Take a nap all day only to get your leaky shit in the hot tub. So they're going to play truth or dare.

Zarina's dare is really lame. She says, "Okay, Harry, run over there and I want you to scream 'I'm a hero' off the back of the boat." So he goes and does that and it's like, fine. And Lara doesn't like truth or dare, mostly because she's an adult. And she's like, "Yeah, you know, I hate this game because it could lead to sticky situations, literally, and awkward conversations. I just don't want to be part of that."

Well, Laura –

I am no longer allowed to play this game because I've decided I'm going to renovate a barn in the English countryside. So fortunately, that means no more Truth or Dare for me. Truth or Dare is no longer part of my life story. I'm renovating a barn in the English countryside. The two things don't work. You can't do both those things. Yeah. And by the way, Vian and Harry are both wearing matching Speedos. Why are they wearing matching Speedos?

So he does it. He screams, I'm a hero. And Lara's like, yes, yes, you are, Harry. I'm a little giraffe hero. So now Harry... What? I just said baby giraffe. Just yes anding. Well, I'm a little baby giraffe. So now Harry's like, okay, my turn. Be on. Talk to this girl over here about our kiss. Tell her I enjoyed it.

So he dares Vian to kiss Zarina and then they kiss and it's hot. And Zarina is like, you know, obviously horned up. I mean, who wouldn't be? Vian is really hot. I feel like every week I'm appreciating more and more that Vian's really hot. And so then like, oh, man, I was hot. So Lara's like, okay, Johnny, truth or dare? And he's like, dare. Wait, are you talking to me or my grandfather? No, you, Johnny. Okay, dare. I'm sorry. Which Johnny? Hero Johnny or other hero Johnny? Like you.

Now do a sexy strip dance on Serena. By the way, Serena said after that, she goes, oh, I'm over the moon that that was our first kiss. So that means that there's going to be other kisses. So Serena's like, he's mine now, you know? Yes. So now Johnny has to strip over her and do a strip tease. And he does the weirdest fucking strip tease. He goes, he stands above her and then wipes his hairy ass on her face. That's some crazy shit right there. I've never seen that. And I'm gay.

i thought he was gonna be better at this because they showed it in the coming up and we see him do this but they edit it in the coming up where it looks like really sexy and i was like i was already getting excited i was like i can't wait for this trip to use oh this lap dance because like i was like i can i started to imagine like johnny i can actually sort of see him doing like a really like sexy thing and then when he actually did it i was like oh no he just that was the editing that gave him a little bit of an assist there it was really really bad yeah

And Vian's like, oh, he's like Channing Tatum. That is Channing Tatum. He's wiping his taint all over her face. That's disgusting. And then he just starts throwing shits. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Channing ain't him. Yeah. So, um, uh,

- Yeah, so everyone goes to sleep. And while this is all happening, they keep cutting to Marina asleep. 'Cause it's like, oh look, you snooze, you lose. So they're all going to their rooms and Lara's like, oh, Zarina, he kissed you. She was like, oh my God, that was so nice. His lips are perfect. I want them all over my body right now.

So Zarina is falling for him, obviously. And Vion tells Harry she was a good kisser too. So now everybody goes to bed and then Captain Jason does some yoga on the deck. Well, I guess someone isn't really into SEAL, you know, SEAL revolutionary videos on YouTube like Captain Glenn. I need more content from Jason. I'm just saying. I don't know why I'm disappointed in Jason today. I just am.

So then Harry goes over to him and goes, he's like, hey, Jason, I've got a favor. Could you tell Brie about the kiss I had with her? I just don't really feel like having the conversation. Also,

"I've asked Brianna out on a date." He's like, "Okay, well, haven't we been down this road before?" And we see a flashback to Margo last year being like, "Um, you're not seriously looking for a relationship, are you, Harry? Because I'm not. I mean, I'm just not sexually attracted to you in any sort of way whatsoever." I don't know how else to say that to you. I miss Margo's face whenever Harry was flirting with her. He'd be like, "Hello, Margo!" And she'd be like, "Um..."

like the next strain of like so back to it you don't have to miss her face you can just watch Southern Charm and Sienna

Oh yeah, the cringe, just utter cringe. So Harry's like, "Oh, you know, don't worry this time, it's two way, it's reciprocal!" And he's like, "Well good, that's good to hear mate, all right, good. Got a bit of mojo, do you? You've got my blessing. May the Force be with you, my friend. May the Force be with you." That's a nerdy thing to say, right? Do you understand that? I'm speaking your language. He's like, "Very good, Captain."

So then Vian goes into the galley while Zarina's prepping and she's like, that's so weird kissing you yesterday. She's like being flirty. And he's like, yeah, you're a good kisser. They talked about their kiss.

That's good to know. You have the most beautiful lips I think I've ever, that have ever touched my, you know, I think I have a little bit of a crush on Vian. I really want to get to know his personality and, you know, I haven't had a meaningful relationship in years and he's just a really, really good kisser. I'm so excited that our relationship is definitely a relationship and going forward. It's just wonderful. Yeah. Once I wipe the ass hairs off of my face, I could really savor that kiss.

So then Brianna and Marina are cleaning their room, cleaning rooms and talking about the jacuzzi session. And Brianna's like, well, Theon and Zarina kissed and they talked about it. She's basically pregnant.

And Marina's like, no way, come on. But he took me to the scuba dive. And she's like, yeah, they were playing truth or dare. But everyone knows if you go to scuba dive, you're basically married. So she says, the Latina in me is like, bitch, how dare you? But then again, we don't have anything together, but how dare you? Yeah.

So now it's 20, 21 hours until charter and we go to Captain Jason and Harry in the break room talking about clothes, like what he's going to wear on his date. And he's like, oh, do you need to borrow some clothes, mate? He's like, I've got a salmon shirt. He goes, that's coral. He goes, it's salmon. And he's like, yeah, that's coral. All right, I'm a kimono king. Do you want to have a look?

Let me just show you some clothes. I wouldn't say Harry's got the best style. I mean, he's going out on a date with a model. He's got to pick his game up. Linen. Linen is the key. The linen did look good on him, though, because, you know, Harry would have worn some sort of, like, you know, khaki short shorts or something. So they put him in some nice linen duds and he's like, it's what dad's a fool, you know?

And then Harry, like, he puts it on and everything. And Harry's telling people he's wearing Jason's pants and everything. And then so he meets up with Brianna and she's like, oh, my God, I like this color on you. Are we going to talk about colors? Okay. Are we talking about colors first or kissing? I'm just, like, really confused. Are we going to have this conversation or not? It's salmon. It's salmon. You mean coral?

Short salmon. So it's raining, but he's prepared with an umbrella. It's like so romantic. So they go on their date and then Serena and Johnny are talking about, you know, how her back hurts and stuff. And so he gives her a massage and she's like, thank you. That's so good. Tell me that

What did she say to him? I guess it's later. Oh, yeah. Okay, so first we go to Marina. She's talking to Vian at the coffee bar. And Vian's like, well, you should have come. We had a lot of fun yesterday in the hot tub. And she's like, oh, really? Well, I was tired. And he's like, you missed out. She goes, oh, well, I didn't know you were having such great time, huh? How was the great time that you were having? Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

And he's like, "Oh, she's a good kisser." And she goes, "Yeah, I'll have to try it out." He's like, "Oh, what's that?" She goes, "What?" And he's like, "Well, you should have come last night." And she goes, "Well, what are you doing tonight?" He goes, "Well, I'm gonna work out." And then she's like, "Of course you will." And then meanwhile, the massage still happens. - Nothing says he wants you like, "Uh, I'm working out." - Yeah. - "Can't wait to make out with you. What are you doing in five minutes?" - "Um, pushups."

Wow. So Zarina, so now the massage is still happening downstairs and Zarina's like, you could tell me that I'm a strong, independent woman and I've got this. Could you tell me that? And he's like, you're a strong, independent woman. You've got this, mother. What? I mean, Zarina.

Now lie down while I sit on your face. She's like, okay, that's enough of that. We're not playing truth or dare right now. Please, I'm planning some soups. So then back at the coffee bar. With a fork. Fork only soups. Don't get it into your head.

So Marina invites Vihan to the bar to get some iced tea and chill. So he's like, "Okay." And she goes, "It's a date!" And he's like, "Oh, geez." So then we go to the real date, and the ice cream shop, oh my god! And Brianna's like, "Oh, I want some ice cream, let me see, what's the best seller?" "Do you have prawn ice cream? I just started to eat those." They're like, "No."

so um i can't even take that as a joke because there are places that probably would serve that now like that i once had lobster ice cream and it was it was bad i had it was like cheese ice cream i think it like salt and straw or something and i was like no no no no i am like when it comes to funky flavors so like

I say it just doesn't always work out. There's some people, some places that can do it well. Like Jenny's Jenny's does the funky flavor really well. Like, have you had their pancake that Jenny's has? They have like a, like a maple syrup and pancake ice cream. And that's amazing. Well, I've been eating that. Yeah. That sounds amazing. Yes. And then they also have like a, there's some, they just, there was just some amazing one that they, that they sent me. That was really good.

- Oh, guess what? They didn't send me any. Thanks a lot, Jenny's. - I'm on the Jenny's list now. There's gonna be all sorts of cool flavors now. - Whatever, Jenny's. - But they do good ones. Salt and Straw does their funky flavors okay, but some places try to be really cute and clever, and they just let Jenny's and Salt and Straw do it because it's not gonna work. - I got real funky the other day eating ice cream. I ordered two kinds and I ate them both.

- Mint chocolate chip and regular chocolate chip. - Okay. - They were amazing. I was like, whoa, this is crazy. Chocolate chip and mint chocolate chip, nice. It was a bunch of chocolate chips over here and it was delicious. - You should definitely try out the pancake one.

Judy, our friend Judy, she says she's turning into a commercial for Jenny's. I swear it's not supposed to be. But she had apparently Jenny's also has like a blueberry pancake ice cream that she had recently. And she texted me and was like, this is the most amazing thing of all time. So that's my advice. Okay, so back on the stage. Unsolicited.

So she gets coconut and he gets strawberry. Very important. And she's like, my family owns an ice cream shop. Oh, and now we're on an ice cream date. Wow. The chemistry, again, off the charts.

So he tries to feed her ice cream, but then he gets the ice cream on her nose. He's like, I'm sorry. That's because I can't use my thumb. I did it on purpose so that, so that, so I can do that. And then he touches her nose. So what do you think about yachting, prawns, anything? And she's like, well, I wasn't, I wasn't, I got into yachting cause I was in Aruba and I was bartending. And then,

I got introduced to the captain and he was like, "I love your personality and I want you to come on my boat tomorrow." And you know, I thought, nothing's safer than just going on a boat with a stranger. So here I am. Hot to be a model. God, just how shit happens. Honestly. Like, "I was just bartending and someone said you should come on my super yacht!" Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it totally happens to the rest of us every fucking day, Brianna.

So he's like, wow, a beer. Well, I've sailed since I was six because my parents sailed and I was a sailing instructor. I was like 12 and I was teaching little kids how to sail.

That's incredible. I always wanted to be a marine biologist. That has nothing to do with sailing, but I just want to tell you about myself. Maybe that's why I'm getting my master's in marine biology. Well, yeah, that would help. If you always wanted to be a marine biologist, it probably would be helpful to pursue an advanced degree in marine biology. Just like, that's why I got an MFA in dance, to become a marine biologist. Yeah.

I just want to feed dolphins ice cream. And that's why I went to school to become an electrician. She's really putting two and two together.

Model dreams. So back on the boat, people are doing work and stuff. And meanwhile, Harry gets to hold hands with his thumb on one hand. So they're like into each other. She thinks he's like super sharing and caring.

And she's like, I've never seen anything like it in my life. Oh, I just haven't filled Getty's Getty since my ex. I mean, he just makes me feel so special and he's doing it not inside New Jersey, which is a huge plus. Yeah.

So they come back to the boat and they walk into the galley and Serena's like, so how was your date? Just want to hear what worked, what didn't work. So on my future date with Vian, I'll know what to look out for. And he's like, oh, she's beautiful. So genuine and so all happy. Meanwhile, the other day, Marina says,

She's or at the bar, I should say. It's not even on a date yet. They're just upstairs. This episode is never ending. Marina is talking to Brianna about going on a date with Vian and how Marina basically says, I asked him out and that they're going to be going to a bar. So now they get ready and they go off to pick off to the bar.

And Vian and Marina are ordering drinks. They're ordering Negronis and stuff like that and being flirtatious. And he's like, oh, I'm so glad you asked me to come. And she's like, well, I didn't want to make things weird, to be completely honest. He's like, well, it's not weird at all. I love this. This is wonderful. And she's like, but you taught me scuba diving, so get over here. And

And they make out. She made him a bracelet of some sort, like a Taylor Swift friendship bracelet. She gives it to him and then they, yeah, they make out. It says Besos. It's to celebrate the best party in Salt Lake City of the year. She's like, oh, got it.

So then it cuts back to, you know, so she's with him. So of course it keeps cutting back to Serena going, where is everyone? Is anyone here still? And she finds out that they went on a pool date. And guess who tells her? Messy-ass Harry. Of course. Yep. She's like, yep. She's with Leon on a pool date, a pool ball date. And she's like, what? What?

And she looks upset and he's like, "Wait, was it a date? Did I get that wrong? Whoops!" So then we cut back to them making out and then Serena goes to her room all upset. She's like, "My brain is cooked. I can't do this tonight!" And she goes into her room and she slams the door and she goes,

Backstabbing bitch. Are they roommates or no? No, they're not roommates. I think Marina's with the dare. So yeah, once again, Zarina, just when she starts to like a guy last season, it was Culver. And now the season is beyond. He gets, he winds up going off with someone else. Gosh, always a sea chef, never the chef.

Which doesn't really work in this, but still. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. I don't know why this was a two-parter. I don't know. I don't really have anything. Nothing happened. But you know what? Sometimes in life, you got to have a two-parter because it takes one man to do two parts. That's right. Alpha man, bro. No excuses, Ronnie. It's a two-parter and that's just the way it is. All right, everybody.

Um, great times. Sure. Love you. Thanks for being here. Go to watch what crapens.com for show dates and ticket links for our live show. And if you want these on videos and you want traders bonus episodes ago, look at Ben just yawning and wiping his face. That took a lot out of me. I was like, Oh,

Two dates on one. Because it felt like the show should have ended. It felt like the show should have ended after the meeting. They all went out. And then it's like, oh, wait, the show is still going. And we had not only one, we had two dates. I mean, I enjoyed the episode, but just recapping it, I was like, this is still going. This is crazy. It was a long ride.

All right, everybody. Well, thanks for being here. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Watch what crap ends. Would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley auto. Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.

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Hey Mike, I really like this White Zinfandel. Well good, good. Now put it down, we're gonna try another one. White Zin became America's top-selling wine. But most don't know that this sweet drink has a sour history. What began in 1986 with counterfeit bottles... A big fraud. A multi-million dollar fraud.

sent investigators chasing one of the most powerful families in the business, the Lichardis. But the closer the feds got to them, the more dangerous things became. It's a story of deceit. At the time, I was paranoid. Threats. You touch my kids, I will kill you. And murder. With a .22 caliber bullet to the head. What started with a scheme to mislabel wine spilled into a blood-soaked battle for succession.

Welcome to Blood Vines. You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.

My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.