#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
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Watch what happens Watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch what happens Watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

So now Erica's in her kitchen and she has some champagne and she's like, Ma, you want to go drink a bottle of champagne out in the cabana? Turns out there's one other spot we forgot to do on our HGTV tour. She's like, yes, okay. So now we see the cabana went from looking one way to looking another way.

Yeah. And she's like, aren't you proud of me, Mama? She's like, oh, this rug is just gorgeous. You know, but Martin painted. Did you see Martin painted? She goes, I do see Erica. I do. It's real pretty. And she's like, wow, Mama. So I'm just happy for you to see the house, you know, because, oh, gosh, how some people would look at redecoration. Some people would be. But to me, it's a symbol. A symbol of Star Nova.

It really is for people who have nothing else going on in their lives. And it's interesting how all this has come to fruition, you know, emphasis on the fruit part of fruition. I mean, that Martin Lawrence Ballard, am I right? So, you know, the whole thing with Tom, I'm really proud of you because I know what you've been through. And there were days when I was scared to death you'd move back in with me. And I'm so glad you stayed out here.

The way you cling to those diamond earrings, Erica, I've never been prouder. And Erica's like, I try not to think about how dark things were. My mother had every right to be afraid for me. And then we see the long montage that is now reframed as Erica has been the biggest victim.

in the world. And we come back and it's like, it's just easy. It's easy to get driven down into a dark hole. I was ordering Taco Bell from DoorDash. And now look at me. Ding dong. Mom, could you get that? It's the Taco Bell from DoorDash. But I'm doing it happy and now. I'm basically an Oscar winner now, now that my music was played in the background of a strip scene in "Anoa." At some point, you just got to listen real carefully for it. I won an Oscar, Mom!

So, we see more flashbacks of her going through it, and she goes, "I'm proud of myself for not succumbing, because that was a real option. You know, I think of Tom less and less. I used to think of him every day, and then it used to be a day or two when I don't think about him, and it's been nice. But every now and then that Roomba comes into the living room to clean things, and I'm like, 'Hey, Tom!' And I'm like, 'Oh, God, it's not Tom.' Anyway,

I know he's been coming up for trial in a couple of weeks, but that's going to suck. I'm not going to look. I don't know. I only want to know what I have to know. So then we see a headline. It's prosecutors say Tom Girardi spent $25 million of clients money on Erica Jane's entertainment career. As Tom's criminal date is revealed, trial date is revealed. Oh, it's just not healthy to be reminded of the past. Now I'm only looking for.

new poor people to rip off so um she's like yeah i'm done with past trauma i'm done with it every time someone reminds me of tom's trial it's like cutting open a healing wound and i say something festering it smells like tom in here and then i think of tom all over again the point is i'm trying not to think about tom okay erica so any further thoughts about tom oh you just did it again to me

Serenade is like, well, Erica... It's amazing that I've got so many horizontal stripes in my house now because that's what Tom's going to be wearing for the rest of his short life. Well, Erica, you have a lot to be proud of. I mean, I saw you got a coffee mug that says, I'm with stupid. That's funny. That's cool. You're doing exciting things for yourself, Erica. I like it too. I'm not just drinking it straight from the pitcher anymore. Good for you. You got a cabana. That's nice.

So, you know, sticking it out, going through what you went through and all you've achieved. I can only speak in such general praiseworthy ways so many times before I have to kind of go back to Georgia. So anything else you need me to say for you to help you get through your singing? I feel like I'm in a chapter, a chapter that wasn't written missing, a chapter that wasn't written yet. It's been missing from the book, but here we are. Chapter one. Erica and her somewhat homely mother sitting in the cabana.

Enjoying the fruits of Erica's labor. Mother has done nothing today, but Erica has done everything. Mama is proud and silent. Oh, Erica. Mama is silent. I told you. I'm in a new chapter, okay? You know, I'm staring at the blank page before you. I'm opening up a dirty window. I'm letting the sun illuminate the woods that you could not find.

Is that from the hills? I'm Bella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella. Oh, the hills don't remind me about Tom. He drove down to crash his car. I've got projects. I've got dates. I've got stripes in my wall. I've got shows in London. I can do everything. It's kind of open-ended. I've got to do laughter right now.

Erica, why did you just spill that champagne on me? Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you. Only you can let it in. Erica, I'm getting concerned about you now. Honey, I'm glad you're going to be writing a new chapter. But could we try using less rhymes with pussy? That would be great. I would like to be able to show this book to some of my friends this time.

Mother, I've got big news. I'm dating Brody Jenner. Oh, okay. Okay. I think you're taking this too far. I'm proud of you. You know, when you called and told me, Mom, I have a Porsche, I mean, now that's pride right there. I mean, I just knew you were ready to soar to the top of the world. And you're paying a lot of money in leases. I hope you've got a long contract with this show.

You know, I have to say, honey, when you bought that Porsche, I thought my daughter's never going to be able to pilfer away her money again. But guess what? You did. I'm so proud of you. Yeah. So then we go to Porsche Via or no Portavia. We went there, right? We did. We did go there. We're very fancy. We're very fancy.

Yeah, we went there and it was very okay food. So Dorit is like, she orders her cocktail, you know,

"The Belvedere with club soda with three lemons squeezed in really well. Thank you, Luis." He's like, "My name's not Luis. And also, what do I do with the carcasses?" "You have to figure that out yourself because I'm not going to say it on camera anymore." "I'm a noob woman. Normally I would say 'carcass out!' But not today. Today's a nootreat." "You know you can't pay with those carcasses. Oh, well, in that case, leave them out."

So Garcelle comes and she's like, please don't hug me. I'm not ready for it. Oh, maybe you're not feeling well. I feel fine. Just please don't touch me. Please stay over there. Don't want your poor all over me. So listen, Garcelle. Garcelle, it feels like it's been at least two months since I've been able to say I'm good. I'm good. Do you know what? Today I say it. I'm good.

Adam Enberg, and I'm a star of Short Circuit. Goot! I also invented a printing press.

So, um, gee, hell hath frozen over. I would have never imagined that Garcelle and I would have been sitting together, just the two of us. Um, and then we see flashbacks of them. I mean, technically you guys have sat together, the two of us, but it's usually her saying, please stop saying problematic things. Um, but here we are just me and Garcelle and hopefully she's brought her American express because I'm not paying for this. Hmm.

Well, when Dorit came to me at Bose's Wellness and she apologized, she took accountability. And, you know, to me, that was a good start for us to try once again. You know, nothing more fun for me than trying to be friends with someone until they disappoint you about three hours later. Here we go again. It's so nice that Dorit has stopped being problematic. Garcelle, would you please hang my coat? What?

- All right, I'm gonna ignore that and talk about "Black Girl Missing" number 73. - Stop attacking me. You're yelling at me right now. - So being mamas means we're mamas. And not only are we mamas, we're busy, busy mamas.

Yes, yes, yes. How's life? There's so much going on that we don't know what to even say. Okay, I'll take it from here. There's so much going on. So much to talk about. Like Bonnie Raitt says, let's give them something to something about. Talk about. Yes, that.

Anyhow. I think that's a different song. No, it's not. I think it is. It's not. I think it's... Let's give them something to be busy mamas and papas about. Yes? No?

I mean, so much. I mean, listen, picky am I right now. We're just status quo. And I'm good. I'm happy. I'm happy that he's happy. And you know what? If he's happy, I'm happy. And happy is days. So if that tells you something, Garcelle's like, well, it tells me a lot. You're still a fucking idiot, and I don't know why I'm at lunch with you. Let me just say, it's like Monday, Tuesday, happy days.

Wednesday, Thursday, happy days. Friday, Saturday, happy days. Sunday, happy days. Do you see what I'm trying to say, Garcelle? No. Well, I can relate to Dorit and what she's going through because nobody wants to get divorced when you have kids. You know, my boys are 16 and I'm dealing with that. And I just look at her children and I think, God, neither one of you has a comp card. And it's sad. It's sad.

You know, every day it's something else. I don't know if you saw the pictures yesterday. Oh, yes. PK in the bikini bottom. It was tragic. No, no, no. I'm talking about Marisa. I didn't even see those photos you're talking about. Oh, they were just on my phone. Carl forwarded them to me. We're very close now.

Okay, well, you know, I mean, Mauricio, I saw one of the blogs say that she took off the word wife after the picture surface. And then we see headlines. Kyle removes wife from her Instagram. There are things going on in the world. There are things that are actually happening in this world. Please stop covering who takes what off their Instagram bios. Just stop it.

I don't know if I follow. So Coyle took wife off of her Instagram. So she just calls herself a cast member of the real houses of Beverly Hills? No, not from that part. The other part. What other part is there? Where she says that she's a wife. Oh, to whom? Okay, I'm not doing this anymore.

Well, and then, you know, then we've got Kyle going to Morgan's concerts on the sidelines and people are speculating, is this Kyle's way of getting back at Mauricio? Which is so funny because it's so Kyle too. Really? Well, I'm taking the name wife off and then I'm going to stand right in Morgan's concert, you know, right on the sidelines. You know, I'm backstage. Yeah.

Well, if you don't want the rumors, you don't do this and that. Yes, you don't do this and that. And you don't do the video and you don't do a pickup at the airport. You don't just say, let's move on. Exactly. No more this and that, like I said originally. I mean, the last thing you ever want to do is this and that. Oh, these people are so crazy and they're so gossipy. I don't care. If somebody wants to get a separation but not get divorced and date other people, who cares? I don't think there's one way you have to do it.

I'm a proof of this separation so far. Wait, are you saying that you're pro this and that? I mean, don't do this and that.

Well, it's just funny saying that because on White Lotus, that's a big thing because the character Greg is back on there. And one of the other criminal guys is Walton Goggins is like, so what do you do? And he's like, oh, you know, a little this and that. And Walton Goggins goes, oh, yeah, that's a good business. You know, I do a little this and that. And he's like, yeah, a little this and that. Not pretty strong industry. So it's like.

criminal speak. And Dorit's like, I mean, you don't just go on doing this and that. Because that's kind of what PK does as well. So it's like a nice tie-in with my favorite. This and that. Garcelle's like, well, it's hard to think that Mauricio is not going to move on with his life when Kyle was so public with

Morgan with picking Morgan up at the airport and hanging out with her. I mean, thank you Garcelle for saying the things that we're all saying. You know, I always forget, like, I just always forget that Garcelle's actually such a good housewife because she really does call it all out. I think it's just that like in the past, her personal stories have been so boring that like sometimes in my mind after the season's over, I think like, yeah, Garcelle's fine. But then when you actually see the season happening, you're like, oh, thank God for Garcelle. Like she's the only one saying these things.

Well, she's basically the voice of the audience, right? Because she goes and reads what the audience is saying, and then she brings all that shit up right to the show, which most of them pretend none of that stuff's happening. And she's like, well, the show said, Erica, that you've stolen money from poor people. And what about these earrings? And what about this? Like, she'll get everything we're talking about and bring it. So I like it. It's like audience mess.

Well, I think that Mauricio was like, "The writing's on the wall, and unfortunately it's neon and really annoying, so if she can do this, I can go and have my fun." But I love that they showed the clip of Kyle and Morgan getting that tattoo, when Kyle's getting a tattoo, and she's like, "You need to get a K on yourself!" And they ask how they met, and Morgan's like, "Oh, she stalked me. She stalked me." And Kyle's like, "Oh, yeah, I did. I did."

And Kyle was like getting like a tattoo of Morgan, but not of Mauricio. So Dorit is like, so does Sutton talk to her regularly? Cause they're very close with the this and the that. And Garcelle's like, well, I think so. I mean, what's your beef with her anyway? Well, I mean,

my beef with her are you joking it feels like you have rose tinted glasses when it comes to any kind of Sutton's behavior it's when you think it's all acceptable those are copper tinted I don't care what anybody says please get out of here Renee this is not your scene now you don't think Sutton ever does anything wrong she goes no no no no she's like well and I'm just a cruel raging bitch and she goes well you were

And caviar, Caspira. She wasn't cruel to me. She wasn't cruel to me, really. And then we see a flashback of that stuff, of Parit and all that. And Garcelle's like, well, that was mean. And it was really cruel. But at least she's not making you wear a khaki jumpsuit with name them as a name tag. So you got off easy. Also, the thing is this.

When Sutton's cruel, she's very funny. When you're cruel, it's just mean. So you've got to be funny about it. She says, well, I think that saying something in the moment would have been refreshing. Kind of like, you know, Belvedere with the carcass out. So Carousel's like, I get it. I won't change, but I get it.

So Dorit's like, well, truth be told, as long as Carselle is doing Sutton's bidding, never speaking up when Sutton goes below the belt. Oh, please, you fucking victim. You are just as bad. You've been walking around calling that lady an alcoholic for years. Come on now. No one's crying for you, Dorit. And we had to watch the Fox Force Five at their peak, okay? Queens of defending each other. I don't want to hear it. So Carselle's like, well...

Where do we go from here? Well, unfortunately, Beverly Boulevard is one way, so we'll have to go down to Wilshire first, and then after that you sort of come up Cannon. No, no, no. I mean, where do we as friends go from here? Um, well, I'll be going to Encino. Okay, you're a very literal person, I get it. So, if Sutton gave you a Kelly, would that change things? And she goes, absolutely! Give me a purse and it will be over and done within a second. She'd be my best friend. I'd be calling her. Is she going to give me a Kelly or are you just...

What about the Kelly Ben Simone? I don't know what that is, but I'll take it.

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Welcome to Blood Vines. You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. So now we go to the Godfrey Hotel, which I'm surprised this is where they're having their...

I know this is the second time this season they've gone here, actually. So this is where Sutton's fashion show is going to be, and they're setting it up. And there's going to be a DJ and everything. They're doing it on the rooftop. And Jennifer Tilly shows up. Hello. Hi, Sutton. How are you? Hello. Hello. Can we get a bellhop around here? We've got an Oscar nominee. Can we get up to there?

So they go up to, there's Kent the bellhop comes over and Jennifer Tilly's like, oh, Kent the bellhop, the most glamorous bellhop I've ever seen. Because he's got this big long hair and he's like, yes, that's me, Kent. Like Kent condition, condition Kent.

Okay. You need to condition. Condition. So they're oohing and aahing over him. And Avi's like getting all the clothes out. And Sutton's like, don't go so fast, Avi. Don't go so fast. He's like, everyone's trying to micromanage me right now. It's a fashion show. It's like, oh, world fashion. Oh, my God. This is the fashion show for Sutton's line. Can we all calm down? You've got a few, like, pleather placemats that you're using as skirts. And, like, some old, like, golf boy. Golf ball boy shirt.

Close. Come on. Calm down. Listen.

Press is going to be there. WWD is coming, which I know you think is Women's Wear Daily. It actually stands for World Wrestling Daily. They're coming. Vogue is coming as an En Vogue. Their former manager, he's coming. Celebrities, non-celebrities, mainly non-celebrities, buyers, people from Arkansas who are staying at the Godfrey have a complimentary ticket to the rooftop. They'll be there. I just want it to look good so that the business looks good.

Yeah. So they're, you know, getting set up and she's like, I think we need practice with the models.

Like, oh God. So Avi and Sutton just sit there and the models have to walk around this pool. That's kind of their runway or whatever. And so Avi is just way too in it. He's like, oh my God, drum roll, lights, clapping, music, and go. We are ready. I want more thin people dangerously close to a body of water. Jeez.

The pool had me scared. It was also very reminiscent of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. So Avi is like yelling and Kent, the bellhop slash model manager, is getting everyone ready.

And they're coaching all the models going around. So then Jennifer Tilly comes out and she's like, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. And we see Jade walking. And then Jennifer, I love Jennifer. They're giving Jennifer tips on how to walk everything. And she goes...

Okay, so Sutton calls me up and asks if we'll walk in her show. And I was like, sure, it'll be so much fun, you know. But like, I don't think Sutton realizes that I'm a celebrity. And I've actually walked in fashion shows. And they slot you in the last minute. And they do all the rehearsals and lighting without you. And then you show up 15 minutes before the curtain and you go, okay, where do I stand? So she's doing her walk. She's like, Sutton!

Oh, what a great show. Best show I've ever seen. #sustainable. #setter. - She is crying when she goes, "Sashay." - But I also love like Jennifer Chilley is so bubbly and lovely and she's also so rich, but I love when she's like,

I'm a celebrity. I don't normally show up this early for a fashion show, but I'll do it for you Sutton. But I love that she like asserted her celebrity-dom. That was just so great. And they go, "So what is sustainable fashion?" She goes, "Sustainable fashion. I don't really know what that is, to be honest. I don't know. I don't really know, but we're doing it today." As a celebrity, I'm not usually tasked with understanding what's going on. So whatever.

So Sun's like, well, a few of you forgot to stop here at this part and then keep on. But okay, you're going to do great. You're going to do great. You're going to do great. So then we get the party. Everyone's getting glammed up to go to the party. And Garcelle's so nervous because Jade's walking for the first time. Oh, to be the parent of a model. It's like my child at 16 years old walking for the first time.

You just, it's like you get so much more in looks, but you just expect so much less, you know, as the main model. I hope that he walks faster.

So then someone named moi says, are you going to cry? No, no, don't make me. Don't make, don't make me cry. No. Then meanwhile, Eric and Renee are getting ready. And Eric is like, well, my mother taught me to walk in pumps. I mean, really big stacks and stuff like that. And today we put her in pumps and she wobbly wobbles. Fucking mother putting me through all this stuff that she can't even do herself.

So then we go to Bo's and she's like, well, I don't want to look better than the bride at the wedding, but it's going to happen. Do me up, boys. Lemon grass vanilla. And then Sutton and Porter are getting their glam done. And Sutton's like, I'm a little nervous that I left. I mean, we should have done this at the hotel. I mean, let me FaceTime Bebe before. So, by the way, I am a little surprised she's not getting glam downstairs at the hotel. Hello, Godfrey, throw her a sweet. She's throwing an event upstairs. I'm putting you on TV. Yeah, and that's not close either.

Where she is. No, it's very far. I'm surprised that she's doing it all the way over there. So they FaceTime Reba.

And Reba's like, oh, so terrible about those planes, right? God, it's almost like some malicious code got into the system. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then we find out my mother spent the whole day at the airport, 13 hours trying to get here to tell me she's proud of me. And she never got back.

But the fact that she stayed in airport for, you know, she didn't even stay in labor for 13 hours. You know, I didn't come out. She finally just had him just give her some drugs until she fell asleep and then had him take a basketball and push down on her stomach until I popped out. You know, my head, I had to wear a helmet. I had to wear a helmet for a while. She's not a patient woman, but she stayed in that airport for 13 hours. And I FaceTimed her and I said, mother,

that airport sure looks like your kitchen. She said, no, I'm actually in the Au Bon Pain and there's a very common style in the South. And I said, I didn't realize that because I'm pretty sure you're in the kitchen. She said, no, I am definitely at the airport and I've been here for 13 hours. I said, fine, I will take your word for it. But I also would like to see that receipt from Au Bon Pain. And she said, guess what? I forgot to get the receipt. So I just have a word, but she was there for 13 hours. I'm pretty sure.

If it makes you feel better, I was sitting at the airport bar and there were a group of people, looked like they were wearing dishrags. So I clapped and I said, good job, honey.

So Reba's like, well, she's like, I was excited to come. And she goes, but I think you would have enjoyed it. Well, I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it. Probably would have had the worst time of my life with all those Hollywood liberals. But I would have enjoyed your success, assuming it did become a success, which we know it won't be, because let's be honest, it's a fashion show for a boutique. It's not even a fashion label. Anyway, I am so proud of you on paper. Yeah.

Just have them edit that in a few times. Okay. Can you please leave me alone now? All right. This plantation doesn't plant itself. So Sutton's like, well, I just wanted my mother here to tell me that she's proud of me, basically. I mean, I did this whole thing just so people would say I'm proud of you. And she did it. So I guess I can stay home now. Just kidding. Someone needs to wear that name of tracksuit.

So then we go to Reba and she's like, what are you wearing tonight? And she goes, I'm wearing a very risque outfit, mother. It's pretty backless. And she's like, as long as it's not frontless. Good Lord.

I like that. So now let's go back over to the Godfrey. So everyone's getting into makeup. Sutton shows up and Trixie's singing. She's like, dripping diamonds and gold, living like a queen. Every day is a party. Every night is a dream. Every moment is a movie, just like a scene. My life is glamorous. That's right, glamorous. Doesn't rhyme with scene or dream or queen, but glamorous.

- Blumberous. - So it's Arrivals and people are like, "Hey Kyle, anything to say about taking the word wife off your Instagram?" She's like, "I'm not talking to press."

Please continue taking my back. I won't. I won't do it. I won't talk to the press. I won't do it. No, no, no. Not at this difficult time for my family. I won't talk to the press. I just don't want to be asked a million questions. I mean, it was bad enough after I did the press junket for Halloween, you know, back and badder than ever. But, like, now, now doing even these questions, it's just too much for a working actress. Yeah. So, yeah, you're very famous. So then, um...

everybody's arriving and Jennifer Tilly is telling everybody they look amazing. She's like, fashion did a great job putting this party together. There's a huge crowd. There's so much fashion press, like major press. There's really quite a buzz in here. It's just so exciting. I'm just happy I'm walking in the show because I really like people giving me attention. Laughter

LAUGHTER

She's so great. So then Kathy arrives and they're going to get drinks and everything. And Dorit gets her Belvedere club soda, three lemons. Again, does not request the carcass be out. So this is really a new page for Dorit. Yeah. She's like, well, I'm curious if I will get an apology with this invite to the fashion show or if I'm just here to fill a seat. And if I do fill a seat, will I get paid? So then... Oh, was it here or the bus stop? Which would you prefer?

Sheena's there. Hi, Kyle. How are you? And she's talking to people and everything. And then Kyle then leaves Sheena to go talk to Erica's mom. Poor Sheena. It's like, hi, I'm sorry. I got to talk to a different person who's not even a cast member of the show. Sorry.

And Kyle's carrying a big mug of beer that they're all making fun of her about. And then Sutton comes to Garcelle and Bose and Sutton's like, what's been going on? My head has been like in the sand or on my laptop. And Bose is like, do you need a breathing exercise? She goes, well, after this is over, you can congratulate me. But now just pray for me. Just pray. She's like, all right, girl, I'm fine. I'll just pray. Yeah.

Well, I think that for Sutton, there's a void in validation from her family, from her mother, validation from Christian, who thought she was just going to wither away without him. This is all to say, look what I can do. I'm going to prove you wrong. I can have a fashion show on top of a hotel. And I think she'll always have that need. So what I'm trying to say is, this is a very expensive way to not deal with her issues.

It's a very expensive way to get people to say, I'm proud of you. So whatever, you've got the money, go for it. You know? So then Dorit and Kyle are catching up and they're talking about Mauricio. She's like, oh, I'm better today. You know, like I know TMZ reported that like, I went to a concert to like make Mauricio jealous, but like, really? Like that's how they think I made them jealous? Really standing and watching a concert? I mean, come on. And then we see the tabloid photos of Kyle doing just that.

And showing love, Kyle Richards spotted supporting Morgan Wade at her show. And she's like, well, if I'm going to make him jealous, it's going to be a lot more than in those photos. Trust me. I'm getting somebody's name tattooed on me. Your arm is starting to look like a sign-in sheet. Right.

Well, it was like a very weird thing to see those photos and it was like very strange. But then Moe did text an apology. Oh, but you know, you can have a little bit more discretion. He's like, yeah, but like have more discretion, like be like smarter than that. Like I do feel like that the person he was with, like it was like a little weird that the paparazzi happened to be there and it looked like a little strange, like the leg like this, like what a fucking bitch, like it's all her fault. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't think that he knew, but I'm like not so sure about the other person. Oh God. Yeah.

So, um, yeah. So she's saying, listen, I mean, I don't know what the situation is with those fellows, but I mean, it seems like suspect. Okay. Like, I mean, he's not exactly Brad Pratt. No, I mean, okay. Stop stealing your sister's line. So, um, uh, Kyle's like, well, any of them learned their lesson? So then Kathy's like, guys, hello, everyone.

I think I may have broken my knee. They're like, what? Just now? What happened? Yeah, there were these little steps and I had on a sandal and I went flying and I hit my hand. It's like, you know, your hand's not your knee, but that's okay. I hit my hand and somehow now I can't bend my knee.

oh it really hurt getting into the car you know cars are very small now i've bruised my head that was the mailbox kathy oh yeah where are the horny forties the what the hortivores like autos oh yeah the orders now

I'm sorry. I love Kathy Holden. She's hilarious. How does she not know how to say hors d'oeuvres? I think she does. I think it's one of those things you say, you know, like. Like a joke. Like a jokey version of it. I'll accept that. That's like when you say Tarjay.

So everyone takes their seats. It's like this guy, Nick, is like, everyone, please take your seats, please. And Kathy is like, well, I haven't mentioned it, but Dorit could do the introduction because she's so into fashion and she can do all the narrating. So maybe she could, you know, that's a good idea. Let's have Dorit narrate this fashion show. I'm going to go tell someone.

If you're going to say Dorit should introduce everybody, Sutton's going to kill you. It's her fashion show, Kathy. She's like, oh, no. That's why we should all help her. So I'll be right back. So backstage, Sutton's just freaking out back there. And she's hiding behind a plant to chug a drink. She's like. She's chugging the plant. It's getting really bad.

She's like, I'm going to fuck this up. I'm going to fuck this up. And Ken's like, no, you're not. I have been feeling petrified, scared, nervous, wildly sick to my stomach. Must be what my mother felt like every time she talked to me on the phone. So then Kathy, so Kathy walks, she doesn't, when she goes backstage, she walks up the runway and through the entrance where the models come out. Yeah.

Like, what is she doing? Oh my God, Kathy. I haven't been this embarrassed since Mauricio took a picture with some slut in an airport. So she's like, Sutton, Sutton, it's me, Kathy Hilton. Okay. Now listen, Sutton, did you need to read? Because to read would be happy to introduce the people and she can do all of the narrating. We are not narrating. This is not, it's a real fashion show, Kathy. Oh, I know. That's why you need narration.

And by the way, when Kathy comes backstage, there's like a cloud of smoke and fog. It's like such, it's so bizarre. So Sutton's like, fashion shows don't get emceed. This is not 1955, nor is it the brownstone in New Jersey. Okay. This is the red dress. This is not red dress in quarter. I know this, the person and the person that you want to do it is, is to read. Obviously you're deranged. So they sent her out and they're like, okay, well,

We're ready. Let's go. So the music starts and then...

Kathy just walks out from where she came, which is down the runway. And she's limping. She's like, oh. Everyone's like, oh my God. Because the music's playing. So then she's saying, hello, hello. And then she sees Erica's mother. And so she goes up to her and she's like, hi, how do you do? Nice to meet you. Good to see you. How are you? Hello there. And she's shaking. She's shaking for this. Good to see you.

So then the model comes down the runway and is like smiling and just literally shoves Kathy out of the way. She's like, "Bitch." I was cracking up during this whole thing. So finally she goes to sit down and Kathy, Kathy, oh my God. Oh, here's Kathy Hilton pulling focus. We shot? No.

By the way, Erica, like, stop shitting on a very funny scene. So Boze is like, this is Kathy crashing the catwalk and I have never seen it, not in all of my experience. So Kathy takes her seat and everything and...

Now we have a whole fashion show. The models go around. Jade comes around. Jennifer Tilly is going around, et cetera. And Kyle's like, this looks absolutely beautiful, which I expected no less from Sutton. I feel like this is looking very professional. No questions, please. No questions. Not right now. No, no. Yeah. So we see these clothes. I don't really get it. You know, they're pretty. Most of them are pretty plain. It's like, here's what you wear to work at the bank.

And, you know, then here's a pleather skirt. I don't really understand. And then she really did send a guy down in khaki shorts and like a cotton polo shirt with sneakers. That's the guy I'm calling the golf ball boy. I don't really understand a lot of this stuff. It wasn't hideous, but I didn't... I don't know. Like, you can bury it and it'll just like turn into dirt. Yeah, I just...

I just didn't even bother. I was like, if it's a fashion show for a boutique, I'm just not going to pay attention to the fashion because it's just like, here's what's at my store. So Erica's like, well, I don't think Sutton is destined to win a CFDA new designer. I don't think she's going to win a FDA approved label. I don't think she's going to win really anything with any letters, but I applaud her and her new line, I guess.

And they say, so Dorit, are you impressed? And she's like, hold on. I've just received a fax. She's not into it. So then Jade comes down. They all applaud. You know, my first fashion show in New York City was for Calvin Klein. And I'm not competing with my son, but Calvin Klein. I wouldn't compete with my son because I've already won. So God, I miss Calvin.

I remember being scared out of my mind to see Jade walk out and not realizing where he even is. I appreciate that.

So Jennifer Tilly comes out in like a sweater dress thing and she's just like, "It's me, Jennifer Tilly. I've been to the Oscars." Charmed, charmed, charmed. Charmed, charmed. So she does her strut down the runway and Kyle's like, "Oh my God, this is so important to Sutton. I hope that somebody's proud of her, like really anyone. That's really all she needs." So Sutton gives a speech and she's like, "Guys,

if you're not cringing enough already, I'd like to give a speech. My 22 year old daughter's here. I hope she's proud of me. Are you proud of me? Are you proud? Say it louder. God damn it. You want your allowance this month. You are taken out of that trust. She's proud of me. She nodded. She nodded. My mama wanted to be here, but she's not here. So that's something I'm not going to say that she missed her flight or something. I'm just going to make it sound like she ditched my show. So y'all still hate her, but she's not here. But I hope

She's proud of me. And, you know, I want you all to tip your waiters. And I just want to say, waiters, I hope you're proud of me. All of you are proud of me. And Porter, I just want to say thank you for being the greatest gift a mother could have, which is a daughter who's named after an employee. Okay, Porter, get over here. I'm going to give you some boxes to bring downstairs. Also a steak. So take this stuff to mama's car.

So now it's after the show, they're backstage and Garcelle is like hugging Jade and she's so proud. And she's like, I am so proud of you. Who taught you how to walk like that? YouTube. Oh, okay. Is that also where you're learning everything? Yeah. Oh dear. Less of a proud moment than I thought.

So they're telling, Kyle's telling Sutton, you know, she did a great job. And they're talking about how great Jade was. And Sutton's like, wow, dad, my friends, this group of friends congratulate me. And they're actually proud, proud. Oh, for Christ's sake, lady, Jesus. So they're like, wow, you did great. You bought all those clothes and had people wear them. Good for you.

And Catherine's like, what you showed us is that you could have a sustainable line, but also be beautiful. It's like if I saw a recycling trash can in a feather boa, I would say, you know what? They're making an effort. And that's how I felt today. So good for you.

Well, you know what? They have all inspired me in so many ways. They will never know. I'm truly grateful to call them all my friends. Even poor Reed, who inspired me to never, ever talk to her again. And Garcelle's like, I am so proud. Just say it. You're proud of me. I'm so proud of you. Oh, thank God. It was worth it. It was worth it.

Now, as we draw this episode to a close, Sutton, I want you to think about how all of us stood here and said how proud we are of you. And you had an entire group of people here saying how proud they are of you. And notice how that will never, ever fill in the void. Okay, have a great night.

And that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. Go sign up for Patreon for videos and traders recaps. Don't forget to do it on a web browser and not the Patreon app because Apple are monsters. And also join us on our national tour. Get our links and ticket dates and ticket links and all that good stuff over at WatchWhatCrapHands.com. And we'll talk to you next time. Bye.

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