#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
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Watch what happens when there's so much that happens.

Hello and welcome to Watch Where Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Good, how are you? Doing so well. It is Tuesday, we're talking below deck, down under, lighter. But first...

Just a gentle reminder that we are going on the road this weekend. We are going to Cincinnati on Friday, where we're going to recap Summer House. And then we're going to go to Minneapolis, where we'll recap Southern Charm. And then we'll go to Toronto, crossing into Canada, where we shall recap a classic Real Housewives of New York episode.

the one where they go to the Berkshires, the really famous Berkshires one, aka December Berkshires County. So go check out all those shows, by the way. But come join us. Go to watchforcrappens.com to get your tickets. And you can also join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash watchforcrappens. Remember to sign up through your browser, not through the Patreon app, because Apple charges a surcharge for you. So on Patreon, we have our bonus episodes. We just did the whole season of The Traders episode.

And then you also have access to Crap is On Demand, where you can watch us on your screen instead of just listening to us. And those videos, by the way, are available on YouTube a week later for the public. But if you want to get them while they're fresh and while they're still top of mind, then go to Patreon. So that is all the news I have today for everyone. Ronnie, is there anything you want to add to that? No. You've been great.

Thanks. You did great. You're doing great, Colleen. Doing great, Colleen.

So now it's time for Below Deck Down Under. Previously, a lady named Mindy tumbled off of her jet ski, and today we report she's no longer with us. No, she's fine. She died. She's fine. She's fine. She got her knee on some coral, which is unfortunate. But we saw a very prolonged sequence of bubbles and flashbacks

flopping around in the ocean because that GoPro was going around in circles. So, you know, they made it seem like something really terrible had happened to her. But she's fine. She was fine. But yeah, they did. They were like...

You'd only see splashing. But then every time the camera went underwater, they were in like two feet of water. I was like, okay. I know. I know we need some drama on this show. But come on, now it's two feet. Still, though, you know, if you're scared of water. I mean, if you're scared of water, don't get on a jet ski, obvi. But, you know, you're on a boat. I get it. You know, she was scared. The real villain here is...

But, you know, I don't hate Vian still. I feel like the show's telling me... They're giving me all of the signs that I should hate Vian, but I don't. Why? Yeah. I'm just in a state of dislike with him. I think that was the same thing I said last week. I don't hate him, but I am disliking him. You know, he...

- Yeah, yeah. - Do you think he has beefcakes privilege? I think that I like him because he's a go-go boy in a gay bar. And I don't know, I feel motherly towards those boys. I don't think I've ever gotten a boner from a stripper. Even when I was younger, I was always like, "Oh, you know,

Here's a number for, I don't know, community call. I'm like, I want to help them. I'm like, it's cold out here. You want my jacket? Yeah. Well, anything other than a protein shake today? Come here. Have some of these French fries.

So Johnny is like, India, I'll hold you. Do you feel safe now? I'll hold you. And I was like, ooh, Johnny. Johnny, I feel like every episode, I think Johnny's getting more and more attractive. Although by the end of this episode, I was like, and he went back down to being Johnny again. But he was on a great streak for me of getting hotter and hotter until he got drunk. So when he was like, I'll hold you. Do you feel safe now? I was like,

Am I getting the vapors from Johnny and this ocean right now? No, you want me to feel safe? Hold my groceries. Okay. Don't hold me. Hold my car battery as you change it. You know what I mean? Do something. And this is when we see them standing in there. They're literally standing in the water. It's like up to their hips.

It's like, you'll be okay in this two feet of water. Let me hold you. And he's like, I'm gonna, he's like, grab the handle. I'm push you up. I'm slowly. She's like, oh my God, I'm bleeding. I'm dying. I've been cut by a coral. Well, think about how the coral feels. It's like, how much of these fucking people already put me through. And now I have somebody kicking me. Jesus, why don't you just piss on me while you're here?

Maybe it was just coral from the real world who just had like a little knife down there. She's like, remember me? Why aren't I ever called for the challenge? You know, that would be actually my concern would be cutting myself on coral because I know you could get, what's it called? Coral burn or coral rash or something like that where when you cut yourself on coral and it like gets infected and it burns intensely. And I remember my friend told me that before I first went scuba, not scuba diving, snorkeling,

And I was deathly afraid of nicking my leg or anything on coral. So I was, I wasn't afraid of sharks. I was afraid of coral the entire time. And I was like, I was, I was very, very, uh,

I was very concerned. - Well, you should be, 'cause you make it on coral, and then guess what sharks like? Blood. You know, and then they smell it in the water, then they come eat you. It's like how strippers smell french fries on me. They come all around me. - It's like strippers who want a nice warm coat, and they're like, "Ronnie will give me a coat." - Yeah.

So Johnny's like, this is fucking disaster. Everyone is safe. But obviously jet skis have been leaking. We should definitely check it before giving it to guests. Yeah. And he's like, the deck team fucked up. Yeah, Vian fucked that one up big time. Yeah, he did. So... I'm only giving him $5.

India. Yeah. Not, he's not going to get a round of tips, a large round of tips. So, um, India is basically asking, um, if Vian is going to go back and get Johnny, who has been left in the ocean. Imagine if he's like, no, we're just going to leave him there. That's it. He's been fired and he's going to find his own way home. Of course, they're going to go back and get Johnny. That's kind of his vibe.

so then of course Vian tells uh he like uh what's his face Captain Jason's like right there so Vian's like oh Johnny capsized which is kind of like you could also say you like he really just he really threw Johnny um under the bus

pretty swiftly on that one. Yeah, he threw him under the wave runner and he continues to try to through this whole time, which is really funny. And I love that Jason doesn't buy it. He's like, you think you're the first go-go boy to work on this boat? Seriously. Squat right now. It's like giving him the full prison exam. So he's like, all right, just go get him. So they send him and Harry just kind of looks over. He looks over and beyond and he's like, well...

The jet skis overturned. Not good. Not good. So then Adair's like, oh, you didn't do bad at all. Just a little scrape. Yeah. I don't even think you'll need a bandaid or anything. Which, you know what? Someone who's been injured does not want to hear that. I want to hear like, oh my God, you came through this. Your leg is almost falling off. We're going to save you. Is there anybody you want to call? Do you have FaceTime? Let's get your mother on the phone. It's all going to be okay. Blah.

I don't want to hear like, this is nothing. Why are you crying?

Yeah, exactly. Oh, somehow this, you making all those noises, setting my Siri off. I don't know how or why, but like my phone just started glowing and was like, could I help with a bandaid? I don't even know how to do it. I have the first Siri who's ever called the police for herself. She was like, please get me out of this house. It is really cute how they are, um, like how they treat India going forward because, um,

I mean, realistically speaking, she went out on a jet ski. She fell into the ocean. She nicked her... She got, like, a small cut. She came back. Like, overall, it was scary for a moment, but no big deal. But then they spend the rest of the episode being like...

we've got to save this charter you know we've got to really put all the stops at dinner tonight we've got to make sure everything's okay and i was like that's how i want to be treated next time i get a very minor injury if i have a hangnail i want everyone on the boat to be like he's got a hangnail we've got to step it up everyone to make sure this charter does not go into the shitter because he's got a hangnail yeah i want them to make a big deal out of it not just be like you're okay you know darryl you suck at this

So then back to Vian drama, he's like, um, I think it's the jet ski. I think there's a leak in it. Yeah, we know. They told you many times, multiple times. And Johnny's like, definitely leak. And he's like, well, can we just connect it to this and show it in then? And he's like, we can try. And he's like, quick, a big wave is coming. You're in two feet of water. Calm down. Can you drag it back? Messer-upper? Yes.

So Jason is like all concerned. He just wants to make sure India's okay. And she's like, yeah, you know, I was a little scared, but Johnny was in control. And he's like, okay, good to hear. So then, um,

Then Adair's talking to Harry and she's like, well, you know what? Remember when we tried to lift it and I was like, maybe it's full of water. And it was, that sounds harsh, but it really was like, you know what? Like, cause I already knew, I already knew it was leaking. And Harry's like, all right, well, that's not, that's lovely. So the, uh, the jet ski comes back, they bring the jet ski back and it's, the jet ski is kind of like, oh,

And it's like, essentially, it's about to drown into the ocean. It's like doing Leonardo DiCaprio and Titanic at the end. It's about to let go of the raft. It's like, save yourself, you're richer than me. So the whole thing is that it's... Leonardo DiCaprio, there will always be a 23-year-old for me, even in the afterlife. I'm kind of seeing Ariel, so I'll catch you next time.

So yeah, it's almost, it's almost sinking down. It's like, oh my God, the jet ski. What are we going to do? We can't get it up with this lift because the lift isn't strong enough for the jet ski. We're going to have to empty out the jet ski that somehow filled with water. Jason's like, we need a plan B. And I was like, damn, that jet ski had a fun time last night. So then Johnny must've held it. Plan baklava.

I would not mind that. So Jason's like, he's like, "Well, we need to drain the water first. Just give me the line. Okay, we got to do it. Hurry up. Call the engineers. Call Fritz and Bits. We'll get them down here because we need to get this thing on." So they like, they somehow, these guys pulled this heavy ass jet ski onto one of those little floaty platforms. Yeah, fucking save it. They're out there like, "What you need? What you need? We were taking nap." They're like, "Fritz and Bits, you have to do something today. Okay?" Now was the time we hauled up jet ski.

So, uh, Prince is like, I have one question about this jet ski. When did Netflix start showing commercials? Bits supposed to be concentrating on the boat. Yeah. Come on, hurry up guys. Like back when we used to work for Putin boats, we just let them sink. It's like, well, we don't work for Payton anymore. This is a big job. We need to call spider. It's Bits, spider. Come on. Can we all work together here?

It's going down the water spout. Get it. All right. Fritz and Bits are doing their little gag thing again. It's no time for laughter. There's a jet ski that's about to die. It's going to be a total loss. I can't have my plug for the Captain's Lounge kimono line messed up by this jet ski. All right.

So then Lara's saying how, I pride myself on professionalism and giving the guests the best experience. It's just a big shit show right now. So then they're still working on getting this

this thing up and it's just crazy and scary and uh then johnny goes to his cabin to like um shower because he's like exhausted because he basically just spent like an hour pushing heavy machinery through the ocean so wow that's a workout meanwhile though vian's like having the time of his life he's taking photos and just having a fun time yeah and he's like fucking hell girl i've never worked on anything like that in my life in my nine years yachting harry take a photo of me

It's like taking a picture like he's a hero of the day. He's the one who sent out that leaky-ass thing and then did the work to bring it back in. And poor Johnny's upstairs, who's taking his picture. Nobody? Yeah, no one is. He's like, we're going to laugh about this moment for years to come. Yeah, when you went out on a jet ski and barely had to lift a finger while Johnny is the one who flopped over into the water and then had to push this thing and haul it up onto a floatie. Yeah, you're going to have a great story for the unemployment line, B.I.N.E.

So then, um, Laura's talking to India and gives her a Pinot Grigio, um, as consolation, which by the way, I would make my knee more often if it meant that I would just get a Pinot Grigio right in front of me. And then, um, that was very like some, that was very sex in the city of me to say, right? Well, if I knew I'd get a free Pinot Grigio, I'd make my knee every single day. Hmm.

I mean, if Pinot Grigio is what you get after like some kind of trauma, I mean, my family must be just in a constant state of recovery. You're like, better check all the kneecaps of your family members for cuts. How many corals have scraped you people? Jesus Christ. Well, you know what? I love Pinot Grigio. So Zarina, meanwhile, is talking to Zarianne. Did the coral scrape me or did I scrape the coral? Okay. That's all I'm saying about it. I

You know what? I'm sorry that you're dying in the ocean, but maybe next time try to live on the land, okay? Who lives in the ocean? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You deserve to get bleached. So Serena is checked in on, she's checking in on Vianna. She's like, who's my favorite man in the whole wide world? Trust me, I know. I know that you're upset. Give me a hug. Come to mama. Put your head right in my boobies. That's my boy. I'm going to make you a soup that you eat with a fork.

So then Marina's like, Marina's talked to him and says like, oh, so you guys are good outside? What's the deal? You seem stressed. He's like, yeah, we're good. He's giving her like the cold shoulder now because he's afraid that she's falling in love with him. Yeah. And he's pint-sized and highly prized. And Serena, as he walks away, she's like, oh,

I love you! Oh my god, lady, you're making me sad, Serena. Jesus. So, Laura's saying, "Oh, we have to make this up to the Charterga." So, basically, tonight we're going all out. I was thinking tape and streamers. I've got one. I can one-up that for you.

How about we get the candles out? Big candles. That's Jason's. That's his. That's literally what he says. We are going to go all out. We're going to put out big candles, Yvonne. That's it. That'll do it. What about a red tablecloth? We could put a red tablecloth. It could be draped on things. And it's like, wow. Yes. Welcome to the captain's lounge. What happens in the lounge stays in the lounge. Kimono line. Kimono line incoming. Oh.

Well, the guests have requested a bar hop, but there's not much bar hopping seen here at the Seychelles. So we're going to go set up the captain's lounge. You know, that's what the guests are going to get. Especially when one of the guests was nearly killed on the jet ski today. The least I can do is show my furry chest in a kimono. Available now on kimono.captain.net. Why are we acting like they're doing the guests a favor? The guest has to go on a bar crawl, and instead you're making them drink in the living room? Yeah.

Yeah, I know. Take them to a bar. Just let them go to at least a bar. And not only that. Oh, I'm sorry. You're taking them to the living room and you're making them plug your new kimono line? Get the fuck out of here. I'd be pissed. And they have to pretend like they enjoy seeing their captain in a state of undress. I think it's awkward. So, meanwhile, this discussion's happening while Marina, for some reason that we never quite understand, know, or understand.

can appreciate Marina has decided to unfold a big ass table in the laundry room and she's like rearranging it and so we keep cutting her and she's like this table's getting bigger and bigger and then she's like holding it above and it's like floating and it's cracking crashing into things and it was very stressful and I still don't really know why she was doing that

Well, I thought she was just trying to move it out of the laundry room, but it was this huge table that she wasn't folding to move? I didn't really understand what was happening. It's like, I didn't understand any of it. I was like, this is just a form that her, I think her, this is the form that her anxiety takes. She's like, Vianne's not talking to me, so must unfold tables to distract myself. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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Okay, let's get to the part now that we've all been waiting for, the part where Veehan apologizes to Johnny for putting him in a dangerous situation by not listening to everybody and keeping that wave runner off the ocean. Just kidding! So Johnny comes in and Veehan's like, "Okay, boys, give us debrief because jet ski does not just capsize. I'm not on the jet ski. You're there. What happened? What happened?" "You sent out a leaking jet ski, bro."

Yeah, we all watched it. We saw it. And Johnny's like, well, the way of what overtone me, I was right behind her. The moment we get close to the shore, as we turn, she leaves the gas. And then immediately I feel sinking. So Vian's like, so all these things that happened, we learn from it. So you make mistakes and you learn from the mistakes that you have made because they are fully all your mistakes.

I mean, I should have assessed the situation, but you need to put it in the water and if water's coming in and Johnny's like, yeah, remember when they put it in the water and then it came out and it had water coming out and they said, no, that means there's a leak and there's water coming out. And he said, that's normal. Don't act like they didn't do this gas lighter. Yeah, exactly. And Johnny's like, well, I would have done it differently, but I'm not the ones making decisions and I'm a good soldier. So then meanwhile, this ain't the war.

Yeah, it's jet skis. So Laura's asking Zarina what's for dinner and Zarina's like, well, it's going to be local cuisine. They said on the thing they wanted chicken curry. So we do a traditional one, lots of lovely, fun flavors. I'm going to have a little more strategy and we do local cuisine, simple, beautiful, forks only. Hopefully no dishes come back this time around.

So Jason, "Vion, Vion, do you want to come to the bridge?" "Alright, so what happened?" And Jason, I love how Jason's just kind of bored with it all face. He's like, "Alright mate, what happened?" He's like, "I saw everything." And he goes, "So you saw it happen?" He's like, "Yeah, I had a debrief with Johnny, and he was driving the jet ski, not Johnny, as they were turning, she took her hand off the throttle and then the whole thing capsized." And Jason's like,

I'm barely awake in this scene, mate, but that sounds fishy to me. Yeah, Vian leaves out the part that he started to feel the boat was sinking, aka there was water that was flooding in. Vian leaves that part out. He just makes it seem like Johnny was letting the guest drive and that was irresponsible, right? Right.

Right. So Vian's like, um, well, and his eyes are wide because he knows he's caught. He's like, well, this morning we lifted up and I see that the whole thing is full of water and I drank it out and I put it in the water. And he's like, all right, well, let's not try to cover it up. You know, and that's the slogan of my kimono line. You know, don't really cover it up too much.

Let's open the commando on this discussion. So it's like accountability. Don't put the jet ski in the water if you think there's a lake in it. Okay, learn from it. And now I know our boundaries for next time. I'm like boundaries. There's no boundary here. Just don't put expensive ass equipment that's leaking in the ocean.

So if you don't feel like it's safe, we can fix it or we don't do it. That's your job. And if there's a problem with the jet ski, let's get on top of it and fix it. And off said, that's it. Boundaries learn for next time. Yeah, do like we do on this boat. We do not want leaky crewmates on this boat. All right. That spreads. Spreads. Or boundaries. It's like I say, anytime anyone comes into the captain's lounge, if you don't feel it's safe, don't do it.

So he's like, yeah, this could have been a massive mistake. Could have had an injury. Could have had a loss. Could have had a death. Vion made a poor judgment call, and I know it's not going to happen again. I shall reward him by making somebody else wear the helmet of stupidity tonight.

Well, otherwise he better watch out. He better watch out. Oh, by the way, someone wrote us a message and said they heard on another podcast that the sous chef did find, he did leave for another job, but it didn't last long. So it's nice to know that that little fucker probably got fired from that job. I want more details. Me too. Someone send them to us. Yeah. Give us all the deets.

So then Zarina is sleepy. So Marina offers her a matcha. She's like, I'm intolerant of caffeine. And by caffeine, I mean you. So I can't have coffee or be around you, Marina. And she's like, well, I can see if there's green juice. And Zarina is just like angry, doesn't even want to have like a green juice, doesn't want anything to do with Marina, basically.

So she looks at her and continues to drink the Pine Sol or whatever she's drinking. I'm not sure what it is, but it looks scary. And so Marina's like, okay, awkward, awkward. Now it's second day of charter. And Lara has so much to do. She's like, oh, and by the way, Vian, I've heard a rumor that someone's a world-class stripper. So in the captain's lounge, you're going to strip. Yeah.

Laura is going to have these guys come out shirtless every single episode if she can have it. Laura's like, I'm perfectly happy being alone. I just want to live in my country home with my dogs. I'm totally fine. I'm not horny at all. I'm definitely not horny. Okay, gentlemen, take your shirts off again. Thank you so much. And until I go into self-imposed quarantine, I'm going to see as much penis as I can. So let's get this rolling, Sally. Shirts are off. Thank you. So, um...

So yeah, she's basically asking Vian to be a stripper in the captain's lounge. I support it. And then Marina is done with laundry. So Harry and Vian are talking about Marina. And Vian's like, I've got a difficult situation on my hands. My kiss to Zarina, I mean, that was just fun. And I didn't mean for someone to fall in love with me. And maybe I shouldn't have kissed Marina. Oh, no. Which is...

This is the standard, you know, fuck boy thing of like, I was just having fun, but she's taking it so seriously. She's crazy. Yeah. It's like, hopefully there's not someone named Tina lined up because anyone with that kind of rhyme, they love me. They just love me, man.

And Harry's like, so what are you going to do now? And he's like, I don't know. You know, actually, I'm so confused. I haven't even given attention to anyone except for gone on a date with that girl and, you know, flirted with Serena every five minutes, you know. But if anything, I've given attention to fucking Adair. I mean, girls, when you kiss them, they might feel a little bit a certain way. You know what I mean? And Harry's like, that's what happens when you're so good looking.

And I like that when he says, if anyone, the only one I've given attention to for real has been a dare. And they show a clip of him saying like, Hey, I'm coming. He's like, y'all. He's like trying to flirt with her. And she just gives him a look like, yeah.

So, uh, Laura is working on the party and everything. And Zarina is working on dinner and Zarina's like, so you guys going to take it a bit, you know, a bit, a bit easy now, like cash cash. Now you, but to go to the next spaces and, and cause she's talking to Brie and Brianna and she's Brianna's like, I don't know. I mean, I feel like I'm not one to initiate things, you know, but like,

You know, I'm just like waiting. Because she's essentially waiting for Harry to make some moves on her more than just like a random kiss here or there. But then Harry walks by and overhears everything. And he's like, what's going on over here? They're cracking up. They're like, oh my God, the boy heard us talking about him. She's like, we're just eating strawberry colored chocolate. It's like, oh, I'm not listening. It's great. I got here single word.

So weird. And also, why does this girl need to have a discussion about everything? I think he's clear about liking you and making out with you every time he sees you. She's like, I'm just getting such mixed signals from Harry. It's just so crazy. I'm like, what part of waking up every morning staring into your eyes and kissing you and saying, I hope we can do this forever. Arr!

don't you, don't you understand? He loves you. But I think she just wants more spice in the relationship. And I think she wants more like flirtation, maybe like they don't have to be making out all the time, but like something more flirty than Harry just coming by being like, do you guys want to see me juggle?

So, alright, I've got a string, it's tied in a circle, I'm gonna put it in my fingers and make different shapes, and you're gonna put your hand through, and then I'm gonna magically make the string back into a circle. Anybody down? She's like, "Oh, God." So, Lara is asking Vian for some help with the dinner service tonight, and the deckies are changing into strippers.

And the guests are all sitting down for dinner. And so now we're going to finally get our chicken curry bonanza. And some, by the way, beautiful looking fish. I thought those pieces of fish that went up to the table, those fillets or whatever they were, looked gorgeous. I'm sorry, but we're not at the fillets yet. I know. I just felt like I was going to forget it if I waited too long. I wanted to give the fish...

I will get this fillet comment no matter when it is. It's like the Southern Hospitality recap. You're like, oh yeah, by the way. I just wanted to say those fillets. They did look good. Those were nice big fillets. They weren't skimping on the fillets.

They were huge. So Marina's cleaning down the cabins and she's like, "Oh, this is too much for me to do right now. Too much, 'cause the cabins are a mess." Who are these people that do this every single episode? When I go to a hotel,

Like my clothing is fairly contained, you know, like I don't I'm not someone who just like lets it sprawl everywhere. Or if I do, it's kind of like I've set it out because I'm going to wear it later. But like, who are these people that just like throw their clothing all across their room? It's starting to feel malicious. I have to say, I would agree. Normally, I'm like, well, you know, you're staying in a hotel room. If it's dirty, that's your job to clean it.

but these ladies are like overly rude about it's almost like they're taking everything out of their suitcase and throwing it to different parts of the room on purpose like there's hanging off lamps there's how do you how do you do this what do you do like sand everywhere and like they're such nice ladies too like it's it's not like uh they are they're like so they're like really really nice and so but you just sort of feel like they're like really nice and they get in their room and they're

They like let out all the, they're like, whatever complaints I have about this charter, I'm going to express it by throwing five bathing suits across the room. Yeah. Super weird. But it's not just them. It's all these charters are like this. I just don't understand it.

No, this one's particularly bad for some, for whatever reason, whenever they show the room, it's like, Jesus, what are you guys doing in this room? It's like a poltergeist women there went crazy, got mad about it. I know. So Marina and also Marina is getting completely ignored by.

by her man, so she's in a really bad mood. So she's like, "Oh, this is too much. I need help with the gobbins." So they're sending Adair, and Marina just keeps repeating as she sees the dirty room. She's like, "I love my job, I love my job." So she tells Adair what to do, and Adair goes, "Hard!" Adair sounds like some kind of a bird. Just—you know when birds aren't really calling, they're just like, "I'm here." She's just like, "Aaah!"

um i congratulations you just set me off on a tangent because i just read this crazy article in the new york times about these two women who um lived next door to each other in new york city and they were friends but then one of them got a parrot and the she already had two little parrots and then she got like a cockatoo or something like that or a cockatiel and the cockatiel every day would go like this

And then the noise of the cockatiel would activate the parrots. So the parrots would be like, so it was all like, and it was every day and it was all day long. And it was so loud that the woman, the woman who didn't have the parrots was recording it. And so they put the recording on the New York times. So I listened to it. That's how I know exactly how it sounded like. And it became a legal battle that lasted 15 years that they went on each other.

It was crazy. I can see that happening because, you know, when I moved into the when I moved back to L.A., I get this house. I'm so excited. I put all this remodeling and, you know, it's like months and months of construction and jackhammering and this and that. So I finally get up to the house and I'm in there the first night and it's just silence. And I can hear the birds, you know, like tweet, tweet, tweet. I can hear like nature. I'm like, this is fucking amazing. I can't believe that this is happening in L.A. And then I just hear.

I was like, what the fuck? So I thought it was an aberration. You know, I don't worry about it. So I just, you know, relax again. And then I hear it and I look and the neighbors have a fucking parrot and it's sitting right. And they have two and they're sitting right in the kitchen window. And that shit never stopped. Thank God they moved because I was to the point. I was like, how do I kill those birds?

This article was crazy because basically the woman who did the non-parot woman, she, she ran a, she worked from home. She was a PR person. And so she couldn't have phone calls because the birds were so loud. And then everyone started. And, but then the girl who had the Paris, she was like, they're my service animals. I have anxiety. And the parents relax me, even though the parents all day long, like, huh?

I can only be calm by causing the rest of the world anxiety. Go fuck yourself with your anxiety if that's what it is. I'll fucking shove those birds down your throat. We'll see how anxious you are then. And then the co-op forced her out, but then she wound up getting like...

it was like some bureau. It wasn't, it was like some bureau that was like tenants rights or whatever took her case or like, it became a thing like because she was kicked out and she had a service animal. And then the whole thing got escalated to like a million dollar controversy. And, and the woman who did not have the parents, her life is like ruined because she now has anxiety about it. And she's, she stopped having friends because she was like,

mortified of, I don't know. It was a fascinating article. You're the one who has the birds. So she ended up getting anxiety herself. And then the only cure was birds. So she had to get parrots herself. And then it was just like a cycle that never stopped and she never recovered.

I mean, for me, I was just like, birds, learn some fucking language. Like, have you heard of evolution? Like, parrot something, you know? Like, even if the birds were like, Polly want a cracker, or like, fuck you, John, or whatever the birds hear, you know, do that. But just two parrots sitting next door just going, mackerel.

I mean, it was just it wasn't OK. And you see how I am. I only dealt with this for like a couple of months. If I was that girl, there would have been some at the very least some BB gun action. Oh, yeah, for sure. And like at first I thought, OK, oh, wow. So now like 15 years later, oh, she has anxiety or whatever. But then they show a picture of her. You see a picture of her when she's younger, when she was like friends with the person. And then you see when she's older, you're like, oh, yeah, this is a woman who's been through some shit. She's been through paratrauma.

Yeah, they have a whole show on one of the murder networks, you know, the networks that are like all dedicated to murder shows. And they come up with like random things for murder. They're like, ladies who knit getting murdered. And that's like the whole show. Every episode is like a lady who knits who got murdered. But this one is about your neighbors going crazy. It's like neighbor fights. And then it escalates to the point where a neighbor kills their neighbor. Yeah.

And they're all terror. And I'm sure that there's like a parrot story in there. There has to be a parrot story. Oh, I'm sure. Parrots must have led to so many murders. Now, I like the wild parrots that fly around L.A. I mean, they squawk. They make so much noise, but they're so cute flying around. But that's because they fly and then they go somewhere else. But like if there was one directly next door or like across the street in the window, I

I would have literally, I would have lost my mind as well. I get it. I get it. All right. So back to this, um, Marina's miserable, which somehow led to this. So then, um, Serena sends up her fish, which are fabulous, fabulous fillets, fabulous, fabulous sea bass approved.

- We give it five out of five stars. - Yeah, and it has a passion fruit sauce and they love it. And then they're like, "But do I have to eat this with a spoon? "This is weird." - And then they're like, "Guys, Tina's a Colonel. "You act like you were trained at West Point. "I will say that." And Tina's like, "Well, I think I was conceived at West Point." And then more, the sea bass is continuing to arrive and the passion fruit sauce is continuing to dazzle the guests. They love the passion fruit sauce.

and everyone's happy. And then Adara's like, "Well, all the beds are turned down and I'm not doing the bathroom." So she can do the bathrooms herself. So she basically decides, "I'm gonna have dinner." And she walks out. - Yeah. - Oh, so weird. And so Marina's like, "Are you there?" She's radioing her, "Adara, Adara, are you there?" And she's like, "What's up?"

And she's like, I mean, are you still helping? Hey, Laura, is she still helping me with the cabins? And she's like, she should be. And so Dara's just like, on my way. So she's like, what happened to you? And she goes, what do you mean? She goes, well, you just did the bed and left. And she's like, I mean, I went to the rooms and turned down the beds. And then I've been running plates. I mean, what do you want from me? I'm just one sun hat.

yeah so there's like yeah i really don't know what they do in the rooms i mean i'm being pulled in so many different directions so it's like this boom boom boom this that i'm like a pinball around this boat but i mean i would i wouldn't say i'm a fan of cleaning someone's shit toilet i'm not doing that i'm like so basically you admitted you did as much as you wanted to do and then you went off and ate food yeah yeah because we saw we saw her eating food she was not running plates yeah she's running plates to her mouth

So now the boys are changing into stripper outfits and we get Vihan's story. He's like, I do enjoy performing. I was a shirtless waiter at Beefcakes. It's a gay bar. Usually around nine o'clock. And then we get the visual of the clock turning to nine for some reason. He's like, we take off our shirt and we do body shots on us. Right here. Shot glass from chest to penis. Human shot glass.

I feel like they don't do shots off their chest in WeHo. I feel like they just come around selling shots, but you don't actually get to do body shots off their chest, right? Oh, yeah. You really? You just have to be careful what bar you're at because, you know, some of those bars, some of them you just don't want. You don't want a shot. Like, you wouldn't ask for that at, like, FUBAR. Not that that's around anymore, but back in the day, no one wants a shot from a place that smells like bleach and socks. Yeah.

You will need a shot afterwards and not the one that goes down your throat. They offer free shots on the way out.

So Zarina wants people to come bring her cake up. She's made a coconut cake, which looks nice. And then Lara's asking Marina how everything's going. And Marina's like, terrible, just terrible. Rooms are terrible. Sand is terrible. Adair is terrible. Adair dropped me like midway when I asked her. And like, can you help me with things? And she's like, no, I'll only do bed. I can only do bed. That's all. And Lara's like, oh, babe, I'm sorry. I have very little sympathy for you because...

You know, you were supposed to be doing a job anyway, but okay, fine. But either way, Laura's mad. I've never had a junior crew member pick and choose what jobs they want to do. Like, this is your job. You do what your superior tells you to do, and that's it. Now I can't wait to not say anything to her about it. I know, right? Laura's the biggest, like, talker into the camera to us, but she's not, she doesn't really do anything with everybody else. She's just like, eh, I'll tattle-tale Jason about it.

So Jason, speaking of which, comes out in his kimono at the captain's lounge. And they're going to go set that up and everything. And Lara tells the guests, everyone, I've just gotten a phone call from captain and they've given you exclusive access to the captain's lounge. Would you like to go to it? And they're like, woo! So they go in there. They're like, he's there in his kimono and he's all stretched out. And they're like, whoa! And it's funny and everyone's like laughing and stuff. But I'm with you on this. I don't need that.

You know what I mean? Like if I walked in and the captain was like in a kimono, that's a tiny little kimono too, you know? It was like a white Lotus kimono where you're waiting for his wiener to just pop out like that dude from White Lotus. Like keep that inside, you know? Like maybe if it's boner time, he's a cute guy. It's not like he's Jabba the Hutt or anything. He's cute. But I don't know. It's like maybe if it's boner time, but not just not right now. I don't know. It's weird timing to just walk in and see him just laying there in his kimono.

yeah i agree so then beyond comes out and does his little striptease and everything and marina's like oh i want to kiss this freaking gorgeous man throw him on the wall let's kiss a little bit and go back to work we had such a good date but then he disappeared what's the deal man here comes one right now

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You literally know exactly who's going to stop by. It can only be people from the boat. I'm going to stop by with a pair of pajama pants for you. Please stop by with some Haagen-Dazs, too, while you're at it.

by the way the captain's lounge is just some pints of haagen-dazs and jenny's ice cream wear whatever you want kimono kimono no kimono sweats where would he just get me that ice cream yeah so marina is in love she's like i want to kiss this gorgeous man throw him on the wall

We kiss. We go back to work. Such a good date. But then he disappeared. What's the deal? What's the deal with that? Beefcakes are supposed to be trustworthy men. And so they're all going on about the Captain's Lounge and stuff. And the strip dance, what Suspense did, I didn't mind that. So what is it? No. Why didn't I wear that? It didn't.

Yeah, didn't mind that. Did not mind that at all. It was nice visual. So now everyone, the guests go to bed and Adair is talking to... She's like, wow...

I felt like, hey, Vian, I felt like I was watching the intro to a porno with you. Okay, good night. I'm going to bed before my head explodes. Hope your head doesn't explode. He's like, you don't even understand the depth of what that means for me right now. All right, good night. Good night. So he's sitting there now. She leaves and he's just sitting there now with what's-her-bun's Marina. And she's looking at her phone and he's just looking at his watch. He's like, okay, well, gotta go then. Good night. She's like, bye.

So then Harry checks in with Bree and we have a really romantic moment. He's like, are you done? Are you going to bed now? And she's like, yeah, are you done? He's like, sleep well. Well, I filled your water bottle up and I put it in the crew mess somewhere. What do you think about that? He's like, thank you. Good night. She's like, oh, damn it. I don't like being the one to make the first move with a water bottle and just having it ignored.

You know, I'm very happy that my love life is sorted. About time, I mean, Brie and I are in a great spot. We're both on the same page. She gets a little kiss on the cheek every three days. And, you know, it's just us, you know, we just go at our own pace. And she's like, I'm horny. I'm horny. Do me.

And she's like, "I want to know where Harry stands. I mean, we go on a date, but we don't discuss anything. I mean, does he even know my parents owned an ice cream shop? Does he know I used to date a model and I almost settled down in New Jersey? What does he know?"

So then it's the final day, it's the next morning, and Vian's flirting with Adair by saying, "Your boots are the best." She's like, "Yeah, man." "Yeah, I'm gonna get two-stabbing my fucking other cheek down in these Johns in a minute. It's fucking funny, you wanna take a closer look?" He's like, "No, I saw it. Lovely, lovely boots." She's like, "Boot in the face!" He's like, "Well, right." So Johnny's like, "Should we do the lines?" And Vian's like,

I am so in love with Adair. How am I going to tell her that? He's like, well, it's something you have to figure out. At which point Johnny says, for me, I always try to avoid sexual relationship or being on boat because boatmances can create turbulence and ruin peace. I'm more likely to paint my hair pink rather than have a boatman. Could you imagine pink hair? Johnny could be banned from Greece. Ridiculous. Pink hair. Think about it. Pink hair.

I love that he has no patience for Vion. He tells him, that is something you should figure out yourself. Like, don't talk to me about it. I want to hear about this. And poor Vion's like, but listen to Adair, her voice. It's like poetry. I love boobs! Boobs are great! You want to choose that?

So now Jason and Laura's talking to Jason about Adair. She's like, last night she was meant to be in the cabins helping, but then she kept disappearing. And Marina asked to come help her. But like she said, well, I've done the beds and that's all I do. But I'm kind of like, why are you going to Jason about this instead of talking to Adair about it first? Right? I thought this was not going to be escalated. She always goes to tattle to Jason instead of taking care of her own shit. That's bizarre.

So he's like, well, I guess I'm part of this now. What's Adair up to now? Someone's going to go. Should I send them now? Should I send them later? So you need to tell her to be inside. So Vianne comes in and he's like, where is she? What's Adair up to? And he's like, oh, she just came outside. He's like, well, have you told her to be inside? All right. I need communication on this boat.

So then Larix says the whole thing again about the cabins, and Jason's like, "Alright, well, dex- dex-es are always a great area. It's sort of like when you wear a kimono, but you're also hanging out with the guests. But I think that she's picking and choosing her jobs, and no one changes their department unless- unless you two authorise it. So communication with you guys has to be like this. Okay, go and fix it. I don't know why you bothered me with this, but go ahead. Go ahead." So as Vian leaves, he's like, "This fucking annoys me so much."

Um, which this one I can imagine why, because perhaps he's supposed to know the girl's not making the beds or cleaning the toilets or whatever. But that being said, why is it that every time there is a Dex do the deck, the Boston always acts like the Dex do belongs to their department. Like they always were like, oh, well, I guess we'll loan you the Dex do to help out on the interior. So he has no like right to feel entitled to a dare. A dare belongs to both departments. Well, he's not saying he's has the only right to a dare.

Is he? I know he's not saying that, but his vibe is like that if you ask me. I just think he's like, "What the fuck is this lady always giving me shit?" Like, "Geez, I can't even do anything right." Which is not incorrect. Laura radios and she's like, "Um, Vyond Vyond, can we have a day help with the guest cabins, please?" And he's like, "Oh, God." And Adair's like, "That's annoying. That's annoying."

And he's like, all right, well, can we start her on the deck and then move her to interior? And she's like, okay, okay. So now Marina is working on the cabins and then Laura Brie and Serena are dancing. Like, yeah. The guests are sad. It's their last day and everything. And now it's time to lift the anchors and everything. So they're going to do anchors are going to go up.

And then now they're also going to have to now rearrange their cabins because the new sous chef will be arriving, which means she's a girl, which means that there's going to be another shuffling around of people. So Johnny's have to move in. Now, last week I saw the CV and I saw that the new sous chef was named Alicia. And I just jumped to conclusions that it was the same Alicia from Below Deck Sailing.

And I received a few messages that said, actually, below deck sailing Alicia, her name is spelled differently. And also she's a different person than the Alicia that does wind up coming. Yeah, spelled like I-L. Yes. So I messed up. I failed. I failed as a podcaster. I'm just waiting for an apology. I apologize. I apologize for putting my theory, my leaky theory out into the water. It's not safe. You're leaky, Alicia. Yeah.

- Yeah, so somebody new is coming and I did not know any of this information you just gave me. So I thought it was gonna be the other Alicia. And I was like, "Oh, hell, this is great."

So they're doing the cabin swap and all that good stuff. And Adair's like, "I hope we get a lot of money today." And Marina's like, "Okay, since we're here, listen, the bed, amazing. You're doing great job, but just make sure the towels are clean. There's clean floors. You know, we need more." And she's like, "Well, I wasn't meaning to leave you yesterday. It's just like, sometimes I do the needs and then I get dragged off. You know, there's like food to eat, there's drinks to drinks."

Yeah, you know, sometimes I just get dragged off by myself, dragging myself off to doing something more fun. That's it. So they're like, okay, it's fine. So then now Adair has to go back out on the deck. Oh, life of a deck stew. And now it's time to come in to dock. We're going to dock. It's going to be scary. It's going to be whatever. And then Harry's talking to Adair and he's like, what are those? I guess he's talking about fake boobs. I don't remember this.

They're like gel cutlets, you know? Oh yeah, he's got like a bag of like the little, the chicken cutlets. He's like, "All these fake boobs." And Dara's like, "They're boobs." Yeah, she's like, "They're boobs!" And poor Bree's like, "Oh my God, those boobs are getting more from Harry than me. I just need to have a talk about it."

So the guests say goodbye. They give a nice little speech. Like we had the best time ever. We're just so excited to go to our hotel now and leave our clothes on every single surface. So they go and they're happy. They're a lovely crew, a lovely, I'm sorry, lovely, lovely set of guests, charter group. And now it's time to change out of your blues, change into your blues and clean the boat and turn it over and get ready for a tip meeting. All right. All right. First, we got to talk about the helmet of death.

We're getting $15,000, so that's great, everybody, for 48 hours. Not bad. All right, the Helmet of Death is going to... I'm just kidding, because we worked at Beefcakes. I respect the game. Please be one of my models for Captain's Lounge. The one going under the bus is Johnny, who saved a woman's life and dragged her back after her leg was almost decapitated, delegated by a coral. Delegated.

So, by the way, we have... Dechopotated by a coral. Man's greatest enemy, the Great Coral Reef. Thankfully, we've almost killed the thing, everybody. So, for a few more super yacht trips right over it, we should have it dead in no time. LAUGHTER

All right, we have a sous chef coming in this afternoon. She's a she. So I would like to accept any volunteers from the deck crew to make some awkward and unpleasant advances on her who would like to volunteer as tribute. All right, Johnny, great. We'll see you later tonight at the bar. Listen, it's been a while. It's been a couple of months since a Below Deck franchise has had sexual...

sexual abuse, harassment complaints. So I think we need to get that taken care of tonight. Get on it, disco head.

So then Laura and Zarina are talking and Zarina's talking about how it's like, you can't just like shut off a crush. And Laura's like, I mean, that's what I mean. I mean, if a guy likes you, he will never make you doubt that. And that's what you need. You need someone, you don't need to settle for anything else just because someone's here. And Zarina's like, or alternatively, I could settle for the guy who basically doesn't like me at all.

and I'll just keep lowering my bar for him. I think that sounds like a good game plan for me. Yeah, Serena's like, what's wrong with settling? Without settlings, we wouldn't have countries, would we? We'd just be travelling all the time, you know? That's right.

So then they're saying that they hope the new sous chef is nice, etc. And then Harry is talking to Marina and he's like, are you off of Vian? What's going on? And she's like, no, I'd like to get with him again, but he's a cool guy, but we don't talk, not a word for three days. And he's like, but I didn't talk to Marie for three days. Look how happy she is. Yeah.

Pulling out her hair, looking at pictures of her old fiance being like, "I need my steak." "I should have given him a chance," got to her at the window, mascara running down her face. "Talk to me."

So Zarina is excited for the sous chef. She's like, I love a fresh start. I think it's going to be great. It's time for some girl power in the galley. Please don't be like Anthony. Please don't be like Anthony. Please, please enjoy only using forks. So then in comes Alicia. She goes, she comes on. She's blonde. She's perky. She's sweet. She's nice. She's pretty. So she's going to have all these guys doing gross things to her. She's baby Caroline Stanbury face.

Oh, that's crazy. That's all I could see. Once I saw it, I was like, wow.

Caroline Stanberry. So she meets everybody and we find out a little bit about her. She's like, I first got into yachting as a deck chiefs' stew. I love food. I like the smell. I love the colour. But I'm starting green, to be honest. I'm going to wing it, but hopefully it'll work out. I didn't even know where the seashells was. Why would you build a town on a seashell? How do you make streets? There's everything on wheels. It just goes back and forth. Idiotic.

And she said the seashells. I mean, but actually, can you believe it? That's an actual seashell in the middle of the ocean that they turned into a resort. I didn't know there was a fish that big.

So then Harry tells Vian that he's in the doghouse, the marina, because he hasn't spoken to her. And Vian's like, oh, no. So then Alicia's going down. She's meeting everyone. And Serena's so excited. She's like, I feel like a firecracker coming into my galley. I love the positive energy. I love her attitude. I can't wait to make her do dishes all day long. I can't wait to see what she serves spoons with.

Just instinctually in what she doesn't. This is going to be great for science. So they all go out and they're having dinner and everyone's in a great mood because they've got a new person, which means the guys are just going to ask stupid questions now. And we can't even go so far as to whip out pictures of children because that's like the most desperate move when a guy's like, oh, let me show you my niece and nephews. Like, oh, great. Yeah.

So he's like, what is your favorite cuisine to cook? And she's like, Thai food. It's where you basically take a necktie and you put it into a stew. Delicious. They're like, oh, that sounds wonderful. So they're all excited that she's into that, into Thai food. And then, you know, they are... What's your favorite color? What's your hair color? How old are you? What year were you from? And she goes, I'm 25. And Johnny goes, oh, 98. Like, yeah, look at me. Math.

mouthing it up she's like actually 99 so yeah and she's like well you look so much older johnny he's like thank you so then uh vian is talking yeah he's talking to adair and showing the pictures of the nephews and everything and she's like cool and then um he's like here's another here's another child does this give me dimension she's like cool here's another child what about this one okay

she's totally like unfazed by him the guys are trying really really hard do you play candy crush i'm really good at candy crush look at my score johnny's like i went to prom one time look at me dance calm down johnny's like look i got wordle in five tries new record for me they're like oh that's great great johnny so um

So then Bri and Lauren Zarina go to the bathroom and Zarina's like, tonight is the night of Vian. They're like, but you know, he, he, you know, he, you know, Bri, you know, Vian likes to be approached. You should try that, you know? And she's like, well, I should, should I give him a rose in front of everyone? I feel like the more normal we talk, the more, the more talking is normal, right? It's like, that's very Sondheim sounding of her. Sure. Go for it.

So she does. She comes and she walks right up to him and she gives him a rose. And then she grabs his head and he puts his head in her chest. He's like, oh, yeah. And he hugs her close.

But then to us, he's going, oh, fuck, my heart is with Adair. Well, then why are you acting like that? Why did you do that? Why do you like, it's like these guys, it's like, you don't have to do these things. You don't have to like, you can just take the rose. You don't have to pull her in and then nozzle onto her boobs. So then he's like, oh, but obviously this is not going away. So I need to first solve this problem before I can move on here. So then they go after the club and.

And surely if I just lap dance on her face, maybe she'll get the right impression. Yeah. So then he, to, to his credit, unlike someone like a Carl or whatever, well, it's going to be half credit. Cause I'm going to, I'm revoking half of the credit in a moment.

But to his credit, he goes to Zarina and Marina and he basically gives them both a spiel of like, I just want to say that Aditz is absolutely amazing to me. But I have like, you have to be honest with you, I have feelings for Adair and I cannot be in love with everyone, which is...

Such a strange way of putting it. Like I can only, unfortunately, we only have a few slots available for me to be in love with. And those spots have been taken. We do appreciate your application and we wish you the best of luck in future love endeavors. Yeah. But then to Serena, it looks like he's saying the same thing, but it's not exactly the same thing. To her, he says, you're such a cool girl. Honestly, I cannot be in love with everyone. I think you're an amazing person. You're fucking amazing. She's like, I know.

So did he break up with Serena too? I think he did. I think they were just cutting it back and forth to make it to show that he really was on kind of a personal script. So he said, I have feelings for Adair too, Serena. I think he did. I think he did. I think that was the implication. Because if so, yikes. So I gave him credit for a moment here. That's why I was trying to figure out your half credit.

No, my half credit's coming in the moment. Because so then, so now Zarina, because Zarina goes up to Lara and goes, well, he's in love with a dare. So then Johnny. Oh, yeah. I didn't catch that part. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So then Johnny's dancing with Alicia and they're like dancing a lot and having lots of fun and he's drunk. And then he tries to go in for a kiss. Well, he says something like,

He's like, you have awoken something inside of me that has not been awoken in so many hours. It scares me. It scares me. You have awakened a beast. I saved a woman's life today. I'm like, sir. Oh.

Sir, it's been two hours and it's been like two hours and it's been all group setting too. And so he goes in for a kiss and she basically puts the hand out and was like, no. Although actually, I mean, she's definitely attracted to him, but she's also like, I may be attracted to you, but I also have some personal standards. So let's wait more than that.

five seconds yeah she's like johnny darling i've literally met you for five seconds please he's like but a beast has awakened it's a little boner put it away please put it in your waistband like you do the rest of the days on this boat i've just come here all right i shall not be given away in the first five minutes because that's what the guys try and do they're like oh new girl who can get her first jumper

And she's like, every single time I look into his eyes, I'm like, ah, he's a gorgeous man, but I don't know him. It's just too much too soon. We'll see. We'll see. So then, and of course everyone watched this happen, you know, like Brie and Laura watched and Brie's like, did he just kiss her? And I was like, no, he tried. He goes, oh, I'm so jealous.

I wish Harry would try that. So Harry's like, "That's what I was, that's what I was feeling when I kissed Bree for the first time, but guess who bagged a model? Guess who's dating a model? Who is dating a model?" She's a model. So then Serena, who's just been dumped, even though she wasn't in a relationship with this guy, but she was just told not interested, goes up to Vian and takes him, like takes his shirt and she's like, "You, come into the van with me."

Yeah. Okay. So he does. Yeah. So then in Vance, Zarina's like, Johnny, are you in love? And he's like, no, not in love. That's a heavy word to use. First of all, I am just full of boner. Front are very attractive. We vibe together. That's all.

So in the other car, they're gossiping, and Lara's like, "Did Vion have a conversation with you tonight?" And Harry's like, "Tell me! Tell me!" And Marina's like, "Well, Vion broke up with me today, okay? Well, I'm not kidding. I mean, I'm kidding. But he said that he liked somebody and he wanted to pursue that." And Lara's like, "Oh, it's Adair. He's in love with Adair. But the thing is, Adair doesn't even know about it." And so they're cracking up. And Brie's just like, "Yeah, I feel like Adair's just Adair."

So then they go back on the boat and Harry, uh, re-showing Harry the sand and the cabins. And Zarina's talking to Vian and she's like, are you naked? And he's like, no. She's like, are you, are you coming up? And he's like wearing these like teeny tiny, tiny, tiny bungee smugglers, like tiny, tiny. So she's like, oh, like she is horned up like crazy. I mean, can't blame her. Those are real, real tight.

It's like, do you enjoy torturing me? Is that something that you like to do? And he's like, oh, I should take a shower. And she's like, oh, God, fine, fine. You're leaving footprints everywhere, mister. Oh, little does he know I love footprints. Oh, I hate you. I hate strong men.

And then she grabs him and starts like making out with him in the hallway, right? That was at the end of the episode, yeah. So then Harry, meanwhile, is like, all right, time for me to make my big move. So, well, oh, actually...

Maybe it did happen because Harry, Harry goes, I think this is, we may have skipped over it, but Harry and Harry brings Brie into the guest cabin and it looks like they're going to like spend the night. That's usually when you, when it's off charter and you go into the guest cabin, that means you're going to do it. So he's in there with Brie in the guest cabin and then they like kiss and

And then he's like, well, we got a lot of work to do tomorrow, so I guess we should probably go to sleep. Well, no, because the sheets aren't on the bed. She's like, oh, we already took the sheets off the bed. So he's like, all right, well, what should we do now? And she's like, I don't know. I would hate for you to have to make a bed. I mean, Jesus Christ, this is not the man you want to end up with. He's like, well, no sheets on the bed. Guess I can't do anything on the bed. What would we do? Put sheets on it? Yeah.

Yeah, have the man make the bed if he wants a little. But he doesn't. And she's like, I mean, I wish we could cuddle and watch a movie. And he's like, we have so much work to do tomorrow. Oh, don't we? And then this is where then Zarina and

and Vian have this moment where they're kind of like kissing Jokey and then kissing for real. And then it looks like they are really, she grabs him and pulls him off camera and starts making out with him. And he's like, okay, okay. And she's like, that's what she's like. I hate you. I hate strong men. Oh, he just dumped you. Yeah. And then the other thing, but this is where I, he, this is the half credit. This is where he is deducted because Vian is so that sort of guy that's like,

Okay, I'm going to break up with you all because that's the mature thing to do. And then now that he has established a boundary that he's not into you, he will then come and make out with you. And then when you're like, well, we were just, we're making out. He'll be like, yeah, but I already told you I'm not into you. That was just for fun. You're being crazy right now. So.

That's why he lost credit with me because it was like his whole life. Serena also loses credit with me. Like, get some self-respect. The man just dumped you and she's like, oh, come here. Oh, God, God, I have you. Come here off camera. Oh, God, you're such a strong man. Like, oh, girl, get a hold of yourself. It's embarrassing.

A mask is to be used by all, you know what I mean? Like, you don't go to the grocery store and just take home the little dispenser in front that gives everybody the antibacterial soap. That's for everybody. So yeah, so they make out. It was actually exactly in the place that you said it happened. I was wrong. And then Harry goes into his cabin and he is like, "You guys, I just had the best makeout session ever. Like, I kissed her on the lips for about three seconds.

No tongue, but like we're working towards it. It was just so good. I mean, she wanted to cuddle up and watch a movie. Too soon for that. Too soon for that, Mariah. Too soon for halfway to first base. Well, by the whore of Babylon. Not doing that yet. And then it cuts to Brie, who's all frustrated getting into bed. She's like, oh God, that man can't make a move to save his life. And she says, if he doesn't do something quick, this is going to fizzle out.

Yeah. It's going to probably fizzle out. That was the episode. Thanks everyone for being here. Uh,

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At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.

My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.