#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
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Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. So then we go to Drake's Hollywood and it's time for a PK and Dorit. So I don't know much, but I can tell you this much. Drake's had a group on this week. Yeah. Yeah.

um, you know, if you're having a conversation where you're trying to reconcile and move forward with your, with your partner who you're possibly going to divorce, of course, I'm going to go to Drake's like a sceney nightclub. I don't get this at all. So yeah, it had to be the Groupon. So they sit down, they're talking and she's like, how are you? She's like, a little weird. It's like, well, life's weird, isn't it? One moment you're staring down the

Into the dark abyss of the Pringles can, the next moment you're on your own little flat, remembering the days when you had a wife who'd get pied in the face literally at a Pantone in Britain. It is a weird life. She's like, well, I mean, it's good. Thankfully, you've leaned in and given me a kiss. And he's like, why wouldn't I, babe? She goes, well, I don't know, because would you like a high five instead? Here you go. Oh, purse is gone. Where'd your purse go? PK and I have been separated for three months, and to that I'd like to say...

And then she says, what I thought was going to be an amicable separation turned into three months of the worst kind of rollercoaster I could have imagined. Um...

Which I would love to imagine the worst roller coaster that Doritos imagined, what shape it would take. So we see a montage of it all going sour and everything over the past few months. I would imagine it would be much scarier actually waking up under the airbag that is PK. It's like you're waking up every morning like you've been in a crash. At least a roller coaster you can feel free. It's just all a matter of perspective. Yeah.

Yeah. So server comes over and PK wants a mocktail. Do you have a phony Negroni? The server's like, I don't know what that is, but I can make that up. It is a phony Negroni after all. Phony Negroni. So we see flashbacks of all their problems and Dorit being upset and telling Kathy that PK is not, in fact, a good father. Yeah.

And she's like, well, I have no idea what to expect tonight, but I'll tell you what I do expect. Two-for-one calamuris!

But I feel like my eyes are wide open for the first time in a very long time. All right, babe. So you went to the ophthalmologist today and got dilated. Congratulations. I've been telling you to do that for a while. I don't want to get cataracts. I don't want to misinterpret what you mean by your eyes are wide open. So can you elaborate? Well, I mean, the last few months, something shifted in you. Yeah, well, I finally had that bowel movement. You eat so many Pringles that eventually things get clogged up down there.

Turns out all I needed was a bit of magnesium, babe. Right. Now, look, first thing starts to go wrong. When we spoke about the apartment, when I said I'm taking the apartment, you know, one of the significant issues in our marriage where you control issue, you know, there was with me, you know, we're separated and then you're dictating where I'm going to live. I mean, that's, you know, that's in the backdrop of me knowing you're in our house and I'm taking this really small apartment. Funnily enough, the house isn't being paid for and the apartment is. I mean, how fair is that? How?

How fair is that? And I love PK acting like, oh, wow, poor me. I have to be in this tiny little apartment while you raise our children and I don't even fucking call them or pay for the house that you're living in, which you're about to be fucking booted out of in a couple of months due to nonpayment. Have fun with that. Poor PK.

I also love him talking about control issues. We're the ones who saw you force Dorit to name her company Beverly Beach and name all these dresses. This one's called the Rouse. This one's called the Pringle. This one's called the Combo. I mean, you know, like as far as we can tell, you were calling the shots in this relationship. And that's what we saw on camera.

So she's like, but we never even had a conversation about the apartment. And he's like, well, I didn't want to have the conversation about the apartment. She goes, but that's my point. And he's like, but that's my point. Oh, touche. Oh, God. Got more points than an actual Dorito.

Never, there's been never a better time for a phony Negroni to arrive. It's getting so tense. So Dorit's like, well, we clearly have different views. Unfortunately, my view is a little bit more unpleasant than your view. But what I would like to know is what prompted that long email that knocked me off of my feet? God, people are really having stability issues just a couple of weeks on Beverly Hills. Last week, it was the assistant who lost the feeling in her legs when she saw the pap shot.

This week, Dorit gets knocked over by an email. I mean, Jesus Christ, get these people some rails in their bathroom. Falling all over the place. I get so weak at the knees I can hardly breathe.

I lose all control. It knocks me right off of my knees. PK. So PK is like, DeRay, do we really want to start discussing only one part of that email? No, no, no. But because it was a summary of how you make me feel and what life would potentially look like if we don't resolve this. And the reason I asked you to retain a lawyer was in an attempt to try to have a...

a sensible conversation because we're not able to communicate. Okay. So bring in some experts so that way I don't have to listen to your voice and have listened to someone else's voice. And then we can get divorced after that. You know what I'm saying there, Dorit? But I keep telling you that we need to communicate. I want to communicate like civil people, Piki. Civil, civil people. Oh my God. He's the one telling her to get a lawyer? Get a lawyer. How stupid are you, lady?

He's like, I'm going to destroy you. I still think that she's trying to save this marriage because she's the only one with the check coming in. I don't think PK has any money and think there's nothing to fight over. So she's like, why spend money on a lawyer? We can't afford a fucking lawyer. And the only, the only reason he wants to divorce me is so he can take half of my damn money while I'm still on this dog and pony show. And I'm not going to give it to him. So I'll just try and win him back. I'll just keep stacking Pringles tubes and

in the house until the smell is so strong that he comes here from Bel Air. Yeah, I think that's actually a really good theory that she doesn't want to give up her housewife's money. So these giant salads arrive. P.K.'s like, well, you can have one of these for the two of us, you know what I'm saying? But I'll have two. So then Dorit's like, well, the email suggested that you'd retained a lawyer and that you were a hundred steps ahead of me. Did you at any point want a divorce? And he's like, you can see in his eyes, he's kind of like,

What part of me moving out of the house, moving into a small flat and emailing you saying, "Get a lawyer," says, "I don't want to have a divorce." And he's just like red-faced. I mean, he looks so harried. The man looks like a bunion. I mean, he just looks like a fucking bunion sitting there. What are you fighting for? Let him go, you know?

yes you know what to read is just some hot guy like you know what I could see her with like someone who looks like and this guy's not even my type but I could see her with someone like Eric Banya or something like someone that kind of or like what's his face from the last of us um like I can see her with a guy like that not PK come on to read like cut cut the cut the ballast

and have your hot Dorit moment in Los Angeles. She deserves it for crying out loud. I don't think that's what she's looking for. You know, like when she was all young and fresh, she saw PK at a bar and was like, you're married with kids? Let's do this. Let's fucking do this. Yeah, well, she got a human s'mores, basically. So Dorit's like, so you have retained a lawyer and you are a hundred steps. Like I said before, I already said all this part. It's like,

It's like, look, look, the reality is we have to co-parent and we have to keep it loving and kind and we have to work on a relationship and make ourselves. We have to get back to that, you know, because guess what? You're my best fucking mate and I'm going to take you for everything you have in this divorce. Did I say that part out loud? We need, sorry, I meant to say we need to find a friendship again so that way I can get more money out of you when we do get divorced. All right, you're down with that. And she is doing this thing where she's just looking at him. She's like, but...

Tell me, PK, tell me, do you have in your mind Dorit and I are going to work through things, but divorce, is divorce there? And he's like, I don't know. I'll have to talk to my divorce attorney about how to answer that. You don't know? He's like, I don't know whether it's in our future. I don't know if I can afford it, frankly. I'm looking through LegalZoom. It's exhausting to read, honestly, but I have watched a lot of Law and Orders, and here's what I have to say to you. Chong, chong.

I don't feel in my heart I want a divorce, but I'm not the one in control. And gee, truthfully, PK is calling the shots. They keep on accusing each other of being the one in control. It's some weird game they're playing. I think it's like to position themselves for this battle that they're about to go into. Yes, it's because they're going to both be positioning selves as the victim in this divorce. So they're trying to get on camera that they're really the victim of the other one in here.

And the real victims are all the people that you don't pay. Okay, pay your bills. So then they leave. They've worked out nothing. Dorit's pissed. So she's trying to do this thing where she's kind of facing her back to PK like, I'm not talking to you anymore. Well, that's what he wants. So they're in kind of a no-win situation here.

But you married PK. So now let's go to Boza's house. So Boza's setting a table because tonight she's having her first ever dinner with Keely and her daughter. Lil!

So she's setting it up and everything and she like bonks her glass. That's the sound of crystal. So Keeley comes over and sits down for dinner and everything. And you know, Lel and Keeley have really only been around each other in the company of other people. And we've never had one-on-one time. So now it's going to be the Keeley and Lel show.

So yeah, things are moving quickly with Keely and I, you know, we're a speed of light. Leo's back there in the caboose. So I need her to come along the journey and get to know Keely a bit better. Don't ask for peanuts. People might be allergic.

So, um, she, he brings her flowers and she's so sweet. I mean, this girl is like raised right. She's a very nice girl. So they sit down and start eating and she just starts grilling the guy. She's like, so are you guys going to move in together before you get married and have babies? When are you going to have babies? When are you moving in? Do I have to move to San Diego? I don't want to move to San Diego. You should move here. Is there any reason you haven't moved here? Yeah.

Do you have a 401k? Do you have a cash balance plan? Great mutual funds. Great.

How do you feel about bonds? Okay. Mutual funds. So, uh, she's just asking all the questions and he's basically, you know, he's, he answers nicely and everything. He's like, I just want you to be happy. And I want, you know, want you and your mom to have conversations. If we're ever to move in, if we're ever to do anything, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. His answers are not very good to me. Cause Lail's like, okay, this is a hard question. Uh, when are you going to get married and have a kid? And he's like, well, uh,

Your mom embodies the essence of somebody who would instill great values. How about that? No, no, no, sir. And they're nodding like, oh, my God, this guy's so good at this.

Well, he does say that, like, you know, she asked, would you would you move up here or would we have to move down there? And he does say he would come up to L.A. So I think that is that's nice because not nice, like not like, oh, what? What? What kindness? But we're so used to assholes on Bravo that I was shocked that it was a guy not saying like, well, obviously, I have to move down to San Diego. Yeah.

I was like, "What? Wait a second. There's someone who's courting someone on Bravo who's actually willing to make concessions for the woman? That's so shocking." So basically, it's a nice scene with the three of them. So now we go to Kyle's house, and Kyle is with Portia in the kitchen. And Kyle's like, "I feel so tired right now. The dogs woke me up so early." I was like, "I can't with these dogs."

They woke her up at five in the morning. Stop feeding them kombucha. She's like, well, I had to get to the kombucha supply. I'm going out of town. I'm going to be gone five days. Kombucha doesn't last. So Portia's like, okay, what time did they wake you up? She's like, five in the morning. Can you believe it? She's like, that's brutal. So dad comes over and Portia's like, well, I've been getting tired at like nine and waking up at eight because you're up. Like I'm still on you're up time. Bonjour, dad.

You know, there's like a large portion of adults who are like, is that what that's called? Europe time? I thought that was being over 40 time. So Mauricio walks in. He's like, hey, how's everyone? Oh my God, the dog got so big. What? What do you mean the dog got so big?

All they talk about now are the dogs. They can't talk about anything else because it's too much of a trigger issue. Yeah, so she's like, dad, you're hot. Like, why are you so hot, dad?

He's like, oh, look, I haven't seen your baby. Sorry, I was buzzed. He's like, oh, I haven't seen your baby. Yeah, look at you. Wow, look at you. Oh, wow, Kyle. Hello, Kyle. How are you, Kyle? She's like, oh, I'm good. How are you? I'm really like, hold on. I'm working on my forehead veins here. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry.

Like, I don't know what this relationship is that Mauricio has with this like young skank, but like, I don't know if it's just like a passing thing or a serious thing. Cause I know how women are.

Really? Thanks. That's so shitty. So Kyle is like, so are they the kind to like shoot music videos with like basically making out with you while you're married to some other guy, like coming to your friend's memorial and kind of making out with you on camera while you're married? That kind? I mean, come on, give me a fucking break. Stop shaming the fucking women in this. This is Mauricio. He's making out with someone because you started it. Cut the crap, lady.

But now, on the other hand, Mauricio is becoming like a really embarrassing White Lotus character. He's like, oh, yeah, like, it's great. Like, I went out there and like, a lot of spas and like sound healing and spiritual healing. And I got all these cool beads that I'm wearing now. And like, I only partied like five nights out of 25 nights. Like, I don't know. They're all White Lotus characters on this show.

What'd you say? Aren't they all White Lotus characters on this show? I mean, what's the difference? Yeah, but something about him being... He's just... He is such a stereotypical midlife crisis guy. Although, I mean, again, the crisis was foisted on him to some degree. But just all the necklaces and the bracelets and partying in Mykonos and going to sound baths. I'm just like, dude...

I don't know. It just is so ridiculous to me. I don't know why. We're talking about the difference between him and Kyle. Who's all of a sudden like I'm getting tattoos now and dating a young country star and like, and DMing Kesha to hang out, you know? Well, I'm not saying that it's mutually exclusive. Like it's not, it's not a zero sum game just because he's going through midlife crisis. She can't, they're both going through it for sure. But I just think that like his is, his is just so cheesy.

He just is having a very cheesy midlife crisis that's just kind of like, oh, could you just be more original in your midlife crisis? Do something interesting. Like open up an ice cream shop or something. Don't put us down, Beth, and make it else. Come on. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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So, we go back to the caviar and caftans party, and Faye Resnick is like, um, do you know that Moe is trying to get PK and my husband to go to San Tropez? I mean, now he wants to drag my husband into a single lifestyle? I don't think so. Um, so, uh, Mauricio is, like, having some hummus now, and Kyle's like, this is very awkward, because we both know what we are both thinking, which is, gosh, those necklaces are distracting. So, uh...

Yeah, that's it. That's like what I'm doing. Sound baths and Mykonos. It's pretty cool. Nothing else really happened there. So let me just open some cabinets and close them for a little bit until hopefully you leave the room. I guess you're not leaving the room. Did you change where you keep the kombucha? Like, I don't even know what's up or down anymore in here. Sorry, the dogs drank it. That's why they're a little hyper.

Kyle's like, I feel like he's distracting himself so he doesn't have to deal with me. And we just see him just opening things and like looking for stuff. And like, do you have that lemon juicer? It's like, you're not even holding a lemon. I know. I just want to hear what it sounds like when you clack it open and closed. I want to put my hand in it to distract me from the pain that is this scene.

He's like, well, it was an awkward trip because, you know, it's the first time I go without the family. And I wanted to do it. You know, I wanted to go alone, you know, take advantage, see what it looks like, you know, go and go around without making decisions about what we're going to do that day. I was like, ooh, slam on Kyle. He's like, yeah, you know how freeing it was to go somewhere and not have a fucking to-do list.

He's like, "Yeah, I just wanted to go somewhere and see what it would be like to be on vacation. And then if someone sees a bee, that it does not become an entire meltdown. That has to be dealt with for the rest of the day." "Okay, all right, all right. You're taking digs at me." So then he stirs his coffee. He's just like, "Dung, dung, dung, dung, dung." He's like clicking the coffee cup. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click,

He's like, are you trying to hypnotize Kyle away? He's like, no, I'm just trying to come to the dogs. The dog starts speaking English. He's like, can I please be taken out of the house? Oh my God, what happened to you? Clink, clink. Okay, thank God he's back to normal. So he's like, well, get out of the dog's goal movie. He's like, please just.

The feel good movie of the year for that dog. Get out. I laughed. I cried. It was better than cats. That has so many layers for me. So then Moe's like...

So, obviously, you know, in Mykonos, I got photographed, you know, in the airport. And, you know, I would never want to do anything on purpose that would hurt you or the kids, honey. Just, you know, it's just, you know, when you see a hot girl, you just have to go for it, you know. And I really am sorry for you, you know, hurting you. And I never want to hurt you on purpose. She's like, yeah, I know you'd never want to do that on purpose. And I know you did not know your pictures were being taken. I don't know that the other person didn't know that. But either way, it's just like really hard to say anything.

I think another reason Kyle's so suspicious is because Kyle is the woman who's getting pictures secretly taken of her. And Morgan's probably like, why are these pictures always showing up? Nobody ever follows me. And Kyle's like, it's because I'm so famous. It's like crazy. I mean, they just happen to be outside of the dry cleaners. Nuts. Nuts. I know. I know.

This just makes me think of Ladies of London when the group went to Denmark to see Caroline Fleming's life in Denmark. And there was like a single paparazzo that was there that she clearly had called. I was just like following them around. Ladies, I'm so sorry for the paparazzi. I really am so terribly sorry for this. It's absolutely terrible that they are just following us around, plaguing us. I really am so sorry, everyone. Well,

What a terrible inconvenience. Well, you know what, the photos really did say he's moving on, you know? Like, "You can live in this la-la land for as long as you want!" But there was a hammer on my head saying, "Hello Kyle, he's moved on, it's okay, you're both entitled to live your lives." "Oh, come here, Love Bean, don't cry. Come on, Love Bean."

"Alright, now we know what we said. No more singing La La Land in the house. I'm really getting sick of those songs, okay?" So she's like, "I just, I don't know what I'm supposed to do now." He's like, "You know, I think about how did we get here? Like, if we care about each other so much, how did we allow this to happen? Everything we built, this is the rug being ripped out from under your feet, and I did not expect my life to go in this direction." So they're crying in each other's arms, which is sad, because regardless of how it happened, they were together for a really long time, and it really does suck.

So she's like, I think it makes it pretty clear that this is permanent. And I don't think it's going to be easy to come back from that. They're done. Donezo. So then we go. I still don't believe they're done.

I don't believe it. Part of me just doesn't believe any of this. So then we go, but you know, I never do. I told you that. I never think people are going to get divorced. It's like War of the Roses. And I'm like, they're going to, surely Catherine or Kathleen Turner is going to get back together with Michael Douglas. I mean, they just have so much in common. It didn't work out. I mean, I could definitely see these two getting back together because again, they're both going through a midlife crisis. They got married when they were really young. They're kind of having a moment. The kids, kids are all grown up. So they're sort of,

dealing with the reality of their situation. And again, I do really think, like, you know, as much as we talk about, like, this Morgan and Kyle situation, I do think that there was something... I feel like Mauricio was not emotionally available to Kyle when she was dealing with her friend's death. I really feel like that was probably something that was going on there. So I just imagine there was a lot of turmoil in that relationship. But I can also... I don't... I also think there is a chance that once they sort of go through this, their mutual midlife crisis, there is a chance that they could come back together.

But honestly, the degree that I care about whether or not they get back together, very low. I really don't care if they get back together or not. Yeah, me too. So now everybody's packing to go to St. Lucia. And Avi is spinning her, slutting around on a swivel chair. And he's like, here we go, St. Lucia. And then we go to Dorit. And Dorit's like, all right, cheeky. I need to show you a couple of options. And then we cut to Jagger and he's got his finger on his cheek like, mm-hmm.

Show me the option of what you're going to wear. And so she shows him something and he's like, oh, not mature enough. She's like, it's Pocorybony! It's like, Pocoronono. Pocoronono. No matter. Terrible. She's raising a monster. She's raised a monster. Look at that kid. He's like, yes. Yes.

So then Kyle is packing with her assistant friend Jen and Kyle's like, okay, I'm going to bring you both of my options. Whatever. Could you also bring me a cane? Because I am losing sensation in my legs. I die for these looks. I'm going to flop over. Oh my God. I'm on the ground. And I, you know what? I'm going, I don't feel anything anymore. The only thing I feel is just pure joy at seeing what you've made there. Amazing.

Then we go to Jennifer Tilly's and she's putting on a hat that's all feathers and it's like a big feather wreath, I guess, on her head. And she's like, oh, this hat is just so fabulous. I can't wait to wear this in St. Lucia. Black lace bra. Hi, you. There you are, Uncle James.

And then Erika Jayne is trying on things. She's like, look at these house shorts. Cute. You know, we want to be comfortable when we go and do active wear. So get me that most ugly active wear you can find. And Leia brings out some, like, jorts. And she goes, and this is even more ho. She's like, oh, that's known as regular for me. Okay.

And then we go to Boza's home and Boza's packing with Nico, her adorable little assistant. And she's like, well, did you know that this is the only country in the world that is named after a woman? And he's like, oh my God, I love that. What's her name? Lucia? Yes. Esther, what do you think her name is? Jesus Christ. If you weren't so good with the glue gun, you'd be out of here. I'm going to have you bedazzle an atlas while I'm gone.

So the women come to the airport. It's the Housewives airport arrival thing. And Dorit comes in a trench coat. And Kathy's like, we're not going to New York. Idiot. This is the only thing that Jackie would approve. So I just have to wear it till we get out of his line of sight.

So then everyone's showing up. It's cool because they're like in clearly they're in like the celebrity holding area, you know, because they go with a special entrance. But I think they all get to I think they get to go to a special room for celebrities that way they don't have to deal with the regular folk for as long as possible.

And so everyone like where they're in two different groups, because first we have one group, the Kathy and Dorit group, they fly off first and then the rest is showing up at night. And Jennifer is like, who's the red eye? So they all are saying like, oh, my God, you look right. You look right. You look right. And Kyle saying like, she's just so happy to escape the paparazzi that are photographing Mauricio and she can just enjoy herself. But were the pops out of the country? Yeah.

Or were they at LAX? Weren't they at the airport in not LA? Mykonos. I thought it was in Greece. It was the Greek airport that they were at. But whatever. Kyle's going with it. She's like, it's just so hard to escape the paparazzi. And Jennifer Tilly is pulling out a small Hermes bag that's like really old and leathery and falling apart and stuff. She can't get the zipper open. And she's like, yeah, well, I met this woman. She was a princess. And she sold me a Birkin bag.

So, look at this. Kyle's eyes are doing like in Looney Tunes where they come out and they point around. They look around the room like little cones. She's just staring at this vintage Hermes bag. She's like, saliva is pooling on the floor beneath her shoes. Erica, too. Wow, that is so...

stunningly beautiful this bitch look at this Hermes crocodile vintage it's divine I need one of those boxes in my life but I think there's something like when Kyle pines for something and Erica pines for something there's like a difference Erica pines like oh god I used to be rich god I'd love to have that could you please spare some Hermes for a papa in the street please you know whereas Kyle's like oh

I need this. If I don't have this, why am I even here? Why am I even on this TV show? Like her entire like identity seems to ride on having these other things that other people have because she's so competitive. And she's like, if she sees that Jennifer Tilly just casually has this super rare vintage thing that she got from a princess, Kyle's like, well, who do I know who's royal? Who can give me something? I need something. I need something right now. It's just great watching her spiral. I guess that's what it is. She spirals, whereas Erica just pines.

Yeah, Erica's a girl standing outside of the store looking in at things that she could one day have. You know, she's dreaming. Whereas Kyle's like running around from clerk to clerk like, get me out of your fire and get me out of your fire.

That's a much better and more succinct way of saying what I just tried to explain. Sometimes I have to talk it through to get to where I need to, to get to what I'm trying to actually say. So Erica tells Kyle, "Oh my God, you are way too rich to carry that ugly luggage. I can't take it, Kyle." And she's like, "Call me what I want. I'm sensible Spice. Ow, I'm still using Spice Girl references."

Sensible Spice. That's the most Kyle Richards naming of a Spice girl of all time. Sensible Spice! Going back to her reunion performance where she was like, "Wow, what are you? Angry Spice?" So yeah, now they get on the plane and they fly and it's really fun.

- They're here, they're in St. Lucia. So here we are. So they get the whole people out there and all of the people playing drums and dancing around and giving them big drinks. And we get to see their rooms and they're super pretty. And Jennifer Tilly's like, "Wow, how cute. There's drum people out there." And there are, but it's kind of one of those things where you just want to put your shit down, but now you have to watch a show. It's like, okay.

right yeah i'm wrapping up i'm i'm glad to um i'm glad to not be a real housewife for that because i don't i don't i don't like welcome speeches i don't like again it's like i need to use the toilet i don't want to listen to something yeah time can we steal drum can i poop in your steel drum okay can i use that you gotta steal drum do you have a tishy because this button needs a bidet at the moment

So welcome to the Windjammer. So they're there. By the way, they got like monogrammed pillowcases. That was very impressive. Did you see that? I sure did.

So they got those. They love them. And then they've watched the Steel Drum Band and stuff. And so the room announcements are here. Eric and Dorit, here. Kyle and Kathy, you're in the villa together. And then Sutton, Garcelle, and Jen. And she's like, wait a minute. I have to sleep in the same bed as Sutton?

I've traveled with Sutton before. I don't think we've ever shared a bed. But I have, however, slept next to her on a plane and she wakes up like this.

So, yeah, so Erica goes into her room and she's like, wow, this is stunning. This is maybe Boz is giving Kathy a run for her money. And then the other people go to their villa and Jennifer's like, oh, do we have to climb stairs? Oh, to get to the villa? No, no, no, no. Oh, no, this is too much for me. So they go up the stairs and everything. So they go into their villa and everything, which is, of course, gorgeous. They've got an infinity pool. You can see the ocean. And then they all start like gallivanting outside and something.

and like taking in the views and Kathy, when we see this like extended montage of Kathy slowly unloading an infinite number of jars and bottles onto her bathroom counter, very slowly and very deliberately. Putting her hair in the sink. She's like bags of hair, you know, sperm whale sperm for her face. She's got like everything in there. Stem, baby stem cells and shit.

And now people start to gossip. But first, Jennifer Tilly's candy has spilled all over her suitcase. And she's like, oh no, my candy came apart. Disaster! I can still eat it, right?

I'm panicking. The idea of being without my candy for the next three or four days is actually very triggering for me. Like, I know I'm going to need to eat this candy at three in the morning and after I've had one of our terrifying dinners. What candy was that? I didn't even recognize that. They're the shape of Mike and Ike's, but they're like solid Christmas colors instead of gelatinous looking. What are they? It looked like something you'd get at a rave in like 1997.

I have no idea. Like, yeah, I think there were like, what's the one that starts with good and plenty, good and plenty. Maybe. Oh God, I have to get it. I think there was something like that.

I'm sure that she could find them on. They're good and plenty's, but good and plenty's are white and pink. Well, they've probably got multiple colored ones, right? Let's know like how M&M's you can go to the M&M's store. If listen, if you're rich, like Jennifer Tilly, you're like, hello, good and plenty people. Hi, this is Jennifer Tilly calling. I was wondering, can I get my own custom colors for good and plenty's? I just really like the way they look. And it helps me ignore the fact that Sutton's going to be waking up in the middle of the night going. Anyway, thank you so much.

Wow. Are these good? Good and Plenty's? I've never really dipped into the Good and Plenty pool. Should I? Maybe I will. I love them. I haven't had Good and Plenty in like 30 years. I mean, they would sort of like wind up in your Halloween haul and you're like, well, I'm done with all the Snickers and all the good stuff. So it's time to try the Good and Plenty's. It's like Smarties. You know, there's like that whole genre of these generic things.

- Forgettable candies. But people love them. I mean, good and plenty. People still buy them. You can still get them very easily. They look like little drugs. - So back to Sutton and Garcelle and Jennifer. Sutton's like,

have I said hello to Dorit? Did anybody see that? I don't even remember if I did. And Garcelle's like, well, I didn't see it, but I wasn't with you. And she goes, well, I'm just, I'm feeling some weird vibes. Weird vibes. Very weird. Gee, I can't imagine why Sutton. Last time you saw her, you called her poor-eat in front of the entire crew of people. Why is it awkward? So weird. Yeah.

I know, seriously. So Sansa's like, I think that she just digs at me pretty hard. And Garcelle's like, okay, well, we're back. I can see your eyes. Sansa's got like, her eyes have become very feline and she's just like, she's doing that look on her face like, okay, I've now dealt with my mother for over two weeks and now I'm going to repurpose that fury and I'm going to aim it direct. Garcelle imitates her eyes. She's like, oh, there's those eyes. Yeah.

So Garcelle's like, well, I'm getting weird vibes from Dorit. Oh, uh-oh. So then we go to Dorit's room and she's like, well, I want to enjoy the trip, you guys. I don't just want to sit around with things festering. We haven't said one, two words to one another, but I know she's going to come in with a wrath

And then I knew when she's coming in, not in a wrath. And I was just like, well, how's she coming in today? She goes, oh, she's coming in like, I might have been a bad girl. Which is very, which is very Sutton, you know, Sutton rips you a new one. And the next day she's like, why can't we just be friends? I don't understand. Aren't we sisters?

Yeah. So then back in the other villa, Sutton is talking to Garcelle and Jennifer and Dorit about Dorit. And Sutton's like, well, here's the thing. I'm watching Dorit with Kyle and Dorit's acting like they're best friends again. Yeah. But the forgiveness factor is so easy between them. Well, that and, you know, they always had that. And I'm sure that they can say we have that, too. In fact, they did say that. She said, I have rose tinted glasses when it comes to you.

So Jennifer's like, well, go figure. Also, they're actual friends. You're not friends with Dorit. Why would Kyle, why would you get the same forgiveness? You're not the same. You hate each other.

Yeah. So Jennifer's like, you know, I like all the girls, but I have to say it's a clicky group and it's tough to crack. I mean, myself as a newcomer, as an Oscar nominee, it's a difficult group to crack. And that's all I'm saying. And I had some sort of weird expectation that we'd be all going to be walking along and skipping and holding hands and singing. And no, that didn't really quite happen between us.

You know, I like everyone to like me. And I really thought, oh, these girls all hang out together. We're going to have sleepovers.

They have history and it's a little clicky, you know? I mean, it's like when I was a kid in high school, I always wanted to be a popular girl, but I was just that girl with dirty hair who didn't take showers very much and just, you know, I probably shouldn't say that part. Now I'm richer than all of them combined.

So, um, so Jennifer's like, so Sutton's now tearing up. She's like, what's wrong, Sutton? Did you lose your candy also? And she's like, no, it's just that it's been, it's just been a long time, long road with these girls. And the only person that truly supports me is Garcelle. And even Kyle won't say, come on, this is enough. It's always like you two, you two. It's like never drink. Come on. It's just like too much.

So Garcelle's like, well, that's the million dollar question is why does Sutton continue to stand up for Kyle when Kyle doesn't always stand up for her? I don't know.

I don't know. Am I please ask that to Kyle? They do all the time, but it's not true. Sutton doesn't always stand up for Kyle. Meanwhile, Sutton's planning with Garcelle on how to bring up Morgan stuff to Kyle. So I don't think that Sutton's always standing up for Kyle. That's not true. So she's like, I just want them to like me so much. And I just can't get them to. Those poor motherfuckers. I could buy and sell each one of those bitches.

So then 24 hours later, we see them all fighting in the ocean. But you can't be the one who can keep it and not be able to take it. You pose as a friend and oftentimes you work as an enemy. This is not going to be a sudden trial and seek. She's like, oh no, you're being ridiculous, Sutton. And he's like, what do you want from me? What do you all want from me? And that's the episode. That's all I need.

Little sudden breakdown. Yay. Well, that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, everybody. We'll see you in Cincinnati, Minneapolis, and Toronto this weekend. Get your tickets over at WatchWhatCrapIs.com for traders recaps and airport snaps and all that good stuff. That's also Patreon. And we'll talk to you guys next time. Bye.

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