#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
01:20:41 Share

Don't miss Good American Family. We have a little girl here for adoption. She has dwarfism. Starring Ellen Pompeo and Mark Duplass. Something is off. She's just a little girl. You think she's faking it? She has adult teeth? There are signs of puberty? Inspired by the shocking stories that tore a family apart. I don't know what's going on. How old are you? You should get a lawyer. You have no idea how those people hurt this girl. Don't miss Good American Family.

The Hulu Original Series. Good American Family. New episodes Wednesdays, streaming on Hulu.

The weather is warming up, which means it's time to plan outdoor brunches and spring picnics. Whole Foods Market has great everyday prices on quality proteins and produce to make your gatherings more delicious. At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day. Look for the yellow low price signs that help you save money without compromising the quality you expect from Whole Foods Market. Find responsibly farmed Atlantic salmon, no antibiotics, ever ground beef and boneless skinless chicken breasts.

plus more throughout the store. Yellow really means savings at Whole Foods Market because their sales signs are also yellow. So basically, wherever you see yellow, you know you're saving money. Oh, you know, when I walk into Whole Foods, especially when I'm like dropping off a return or something like that, I go browsing through those aisles and I look for those yellow signs and I am saving. Save on the best of spring with great everyday prices at Whole Foods Market.

Looking for a weight loss solution that actually works? Weight Loss by HERS provides access to GLP-1 medications with personalized care to help you hit your goals. HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed. After submitting an online intake form, a licensed medical provider will determine what plan is best for you. If prescribed, your program includes medication, ongoing care, and online support.

all at one low cost. Weight loss plans are more affordable through hers with compounded GLP-1 injections starting at $1.65 per month with a 12-month plan paid up front for new subscribers. No hidden fees and no membership fees. Start your initial free online visit today at forhers.com slash crappins.

That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash crappins for your personalized weight loss treatment options. For hers dot com slash crappins. Hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Restrictions apply. Wigovi and Azempic are not compounded. Actual price depends on product and plan purchased.

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today...

Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hi. Good to see you, as usual. Good to see you. What's going on with you? Well, you know, today is a big day because we're talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. People on Twitter are really worked up, as they should be, because it was a really good episode. What are they worked up about? They're angry at Erica. People are really angry at Erica for saying that Garcelle peaked.

And they're also they find that Erica is really hypocritical for attacking Sutton and saying that Sutton attacks women when they're at their lowest moment, when they say, what about you, Erica, you know, going after Lisa Vanderpump, when she just lost her brother and being part of that and bullying Sutton.

like Lisa and Denise off the show come in Erica you came in as Yolanda's friend and then you joined the Fox Force Five to get her off the show like that people were really pulling up everything oh I love it yeah everyone a lot of a lot of um a lot of feelings people be attacking Dorit for being inauthentic it was hilarious it's great so um great work everyone on Twitter

In the meantime, though, before we get into our Beverly Hills recap, we are hitting the road again this weekend. Our tour, the Mounting Hysteria tour, continues to power on. So this weekend, we are going to Charlotte and Atlanta. In Charlotte, we're going to recap the Southern Charm season finale, which will...

be great. I'm very excited to talk about that. And then over in Atlanta, we're going to do a classic episode, one of our favorite episodes, which is going to be Orange Real Housewives of Orange County, season 11, episode 16, bringing up old ghosts. That is a part of their Ireland trip. And if memory is correct now, I haven't rewatched it, but this is, I believe, where they get Kelly drunk and then they have a big fight.

in the van at the end of the night, which should be really, really good. Um, other places that we're going to on the tour, we are going to DC Philadelphia. Then we'll be going to Boston, Detroit, Chicago. We will then eventually go to Texas for Austin and Dallas. And then we will end things unless we get some new shows, which might very well happen. But for right now we have, uh,

in May. Our grand finale is in Las Vegas, our very first ever Las Vegas show, which will be

So that's all the news. Go to watch what crap is dot com to get your tickets. Also go to patron dot com slash watch what crap is to catch our bonus content. We did all of traders there. So if you want to catch up there, listen to our recaps there. We also had some really fun airport snaps where we sat in the Cincinnati airport and we talked about all the people and things around us in the airport and we had a great time doing that. So thanks to everyone who supported

came to our shows this past weekend and we look forward to seeing a bunch of you this coming weekend. So here we go. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, season 14, episode 16. Sutton on trial at sea.

Yeah, so we're here. We're back in St. Lucia at the Windjammer Landing Resort. And Kathy and Kyle are getting ready. And Kathy's like, well, hey, Kyle, do you ever put anything on your lips? And Kyle's like, Kathy, you're putting blush on. She's like, no, I know. Just gives it a little, you know, just makes your lips look more like cheeks, you know? I just want to have a nice cheek face. And she's like, yeah, but it's going to make your lips dry. Oh, okay.

Oh, I guess that makes sense. I guess that's why my lips are always dry. Of all the crap Kathy Hilton puts out of her bag, and she's still putting blush on her lips. Like...

So then we go to Jennifer, Garcelle, and Sutton, and they're getting ready. And, you know, Jennifer's like, this is what I'm going to wear tonight. And Sutton's like, I'm wearing vodka. Isn't that hilarious? Vodka's my favorite color. Actually, red's my favorite color. Red vodka. I love vodka. Please, nobody call me an alcoholic. Very offensive. God, I love vodka.

I mean, really? Now, how dare you insinuate that all I do is drink vodka? Anyway, so now I will be wearing an evening gown made entirely of distilled vodka that has been turned into wood. I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm drunk on vodka. I love vodka.

And Boze is telling Nico in her room, she's like, I have intentions, right, for the trip. I want it to feel like a girls trip where everybody gets along and it's kumbaya and we enjoy each other. And Nico's like, girl, what kind of girls trips do you go on? My girls trips are never like that. And I love Nico the gay being like, no, this is not how girls trips works because I'm the gay on many girls trips. And yeah, it's never useful. I'm still traumatized from a couple of girls trips too.

To this day. Quiet, Nico. Yeah, quiet, Nico. Get back to bedazzling some seashells. So then we have Erica who is standing by the edge of the pool and everyone's doing like photos. Of course they are. They're all like, well, I put on the socks. It's time to do a photo shoot. So they're all taking photos for their Instagram and everything. And Boze is like, okay, well, everyone gather in my suite. So they all go to her place and Kyle...

And Garcelle wind up wearing the same outfit. Yeah. And she's like, well, I did call Kyle's style hideous in the past. So I guess this is my karma. Now I'm eating those words because we're twinning. She's come a long way.

And then they do like a little runway moment where Kyle goes stomping around the living room. And Garcelle, of course, is a model and knows how to do it. So that was fun. And then they hug. Now it's time for dinner. So they're ordering and Kyle's like, oh, I'll have this, but I don't want the mashed potatoes. And they're like, wait, please hang on, Missy. No one said that should be illegal.

Says hold the mashed potatoes. And this is why I can never get behind Kyle. She says shit like that. Just stupid, ignorant shit. You know, why is everybody else getting canceled and kicked off shows when Kyle can get away with saying something so fucking hateful? Hold the mashed potatoes. Fuck off. Hold the mashed potatoes. I'm never buying another caftan again.

So, yeah, everyone's like, we'll have the mashed potatoes, please. So then we have Dorit who's like, so everyone, how is your villa compared to ours? And Jennifer's like, oh, it is gorgeous. Like, it's just like yours. Yes, it's just wonderful. And Boze is like, OK, I have a question. I have a question. Can we discuss the outdoor shower, though?

You said that you will not use an outdoor shower. Okay, she says, Dorit says, I don't really like outdoor showers. And she's like, well, no, but I do them occasionally. I mean, even with my husband, I'm like, don't, I don't walk around naked. Or rather, it's more like, I don't want him to go to the outdoor shower. And then I'm sitting there watching that. The problem with walking around naked, when you're with someone like Piggy, is that he thinks he can be naked too. So I just rather, I sleep in long johns. Right. Right.

Sleep in long johns. Well, she doesn't like getting naked in front of her own husband. I can't imagine being in a relationship where I'm holding anything back. And might I also add, I mean, there's this whole point of intimacy. That's the whole point of intimacy. I could be naked physically, naked emotionally, naked, naked, naked in front of Kili. And Kili is naked too. We're all naked and we're drinking naked juice. And guess what? The reason why we're doing that is because I invented nakedness. And furthermore,

Yeah, I guess that's why I'm not in a relationship, among other things, because I'm not doing any of that. Any of what she just said, I was like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense with my own life. I'm not getting naked. I'm not getting naked alone. I'm not going to get naked emotionally. I'm not going to get naked in any way. Put a jacket on. That's what I say. Put a hoodie over your emotions. Nobody needs that.

Yeah. So Jennifer is like, well, it's actually very funny. I had a scene in Broadway where I stood up in a bathtub and I was a full frontal nude. And they're like, what? And we see that she was in The Woman, which I didn't even realize. The Woman. She was great. I actually saw it. I wanted to see it when I lived there. It was playing when I lived there. I mean, it was a long time ago, but I couldn't get into it. Well, I couldn't afford to go see it.

but i and they ended up doing a great performances taping of it and it is so so good i loved it and the lady from third rock from the sun is in it she was great on that i can't remember anyone's name johnson yes she was in it and jane from sex in the city was in it i mean it was incredible the entire cast was amazing but jennifer tilly was crystal the bad girl

You stole the husband. And so, yeah, I guess she had a scene in a bathtub and she was like, I had an English boyfriend at the time and you know how the English are, you know? He said, but you're going to be naked. And I said, no, I'm wearing bubbles. So I stood up in the bubble bath and the bubble slid off of me and he said, but the bubbles fell. English people are hilarious. Yeah.

Well, then I realized he had actually never seen me standing up. And so walking around naked before he had never seen it because I would go into the bathroom and we had a very good sex life. And I would lay down and arrange myself in a very attractive position and like turn the lights down low. And then I'll be like, I am ready. Yes, I realized that.

Kathleen Turner, wasn't that famous? Like, because Kathleen Turner originated that role in London, right? Everyone was like, oh my God, Kathleen Turner did Full Frontal on stage. Was this the same show? No, I don't think so. Oh, okay. The women? I don't think Kathleen Turner was in the women. Spreading misinformation about Kathleen Turner. Because why not? It's Wednesday. What's your lie about her? I don't think so, but I mean, I have no idea. She's like, I used to wake up every...

See, I just don't agree with any of the ladies today. I say just wake up as nasty as possible. And if they can take that, they can take anything. You know, I bet like my original pictures. I don't like put any airbrushed pictures on dating sites or anything like that. It's me just looking old and smelly. You know, and then if you can take that, we can go on at least more than one date.

- Exactly. So you gotta lead with honesty. You gotta be open and honest, you know?

It's called the Kyle Richards method of dating. Well, it's like when people ask you how old you are, you should always say a little bit older because then they're like, oh my God, you don't look that old. And then you can feel good about it. Right. That's like from 30, remember on 30 Rock where Jenna was telling everyone that she's just turned 60. So that way everyone would say, wow, you look amazing for 60. There you go. Thank you. Thank you. I am 62 years old. So Kyle has something really important to say.

There's just something about this tropical air that feels so good, doesn't it? Well, thanks, Kyle. Thanks for that amazing insight on tropical air. It sounds like, well, those are those negative ions I'm always trying to tell you about, and you wouldn't listen to me. But now that you're here, getting negative ions, now they're acceptable. Well, I see how you are. She's like, well, all of a sudden, that positive attitude.

So now Sutton's like rubbing her shoulder against Kyle because she's just besties with Kyle. And we see another example of how just desperate Sutton is to be liked by people she considers popular. And it's so sad, but also so funny. It's like she got somewhat tacit approval from her mother this season. And so now she's moving on to her next biggest goal, Kyle Richards. Yeah, seriously. So Garcelle is, of course, watching this like, hmm.

No. So Dorit's like, by the way, in all seriousness, Sutton, you know, I have thought about it a lot and I have felt in the last few months that you've been in particular very mean spirited to me. I kept thinking to myself, gee, a lot of little jabs coming my way. Gee, gee, gee.

It's like, look, I've wanted, look how hard I've tried. I've just tried so hard to come back to a good place with you, Sutton. But, you know, I put my heart on the table. And she's like, well, I think that we have both had times where we have failed each other. So let's just go with the we both are terrible. And let's just stay with that. How do you feel about that, Dorique? Sutton's already, like, starting to boil over. Her satanic eyes are, like, starting to come out.

She's like, we're not going to put this all on me just because I started this feud, because I got angry, because you whispered something at one point at dinner, even though we were supposed to be pretending to be a sisterhood. So she's like, but wasn't the feud when she made that when Dorit made the alcoholic or the of course there's alcohol in that drink comment.

That was the latest iteration of it, but it all started... Things went sour between them in Oceanside when they were sitting at that restaurant and there was some comment about... I forgot what it was. Dorit muttered something and then...

Sutton did the whole thing. Okay, everyone, we're going to tie our hands together with a ribbon and we're sisterhood. And then that night she was like, you know, it really bothered me that she said something under her breath. I mean, we are supposed to be a sister. You're supposed to say it out front. And then on the Sprinter van, she was like, you said something under your breath and we're supposed to be a sister. That was sneaky. And then they started fighting and then they have been at each other's throats all season as a result of that.

Oh, okay. I thought it was alcoholic thing. That was just the latest manifestation. Yeah. So she's like, you're the one who wanted this group to have an attention. And then it was 48 hours and it's out the window. And then we see a flashback to two months earlier when Dorit wouldn't admit to being Teddy's friend. I love that we're trying to remember. It's in the notes. Dorit admitting she won't admit to being Teddy's friend.

And so Dorit's like, well, you know, a lot of it was, we're going to have arguments, but we should be able to talk it out. Am I right, Sutton? Am I right? That's right. But any attempt to converse or to have a conversation with you is rejected. Rather than trying to work it out, you want to go lower. You're like PK reaching into a can of Pringles. You just want to go lower and deeper and deeper and sadder. Okay. And now you want to have an issue.

well in the moment something meant that she wanted to have a sisterhood that's what i feel um she just doesn't really understand what that means and carl's like yeah i mean she meant it she meant it when she said it so that's something and we see later that uh

Then Seton turned to her and was like, thank you. Thank you so much for saying that, Kyle. Thank you. I know. Kyle says one sentence. One sentence because also Kyle and Dorit seem like they're good now, but they're still not great. So Kyle will still pile on.

So Sutton's like, "I brought it to the group because I thought it was important." It's like, "Yeah, but I think she means that, well, she says every time and so that's where it gets confusing because it's like, okay, well, sometimes if you mean what you say and sometimes it feels sincere and sometimes it's very earnest." And she's like, "I was sincere." Yeah, hold on. Hold on, let me finish. Let me finish. Hold on, my hat's flopping all over the place. I love that Erica's hat. She's like, "Let me finish. Let me finish here. Let me finish."

And she says, and then sometimes it turns and sounds like, okay, well, should I place my hand on a Bible? Should I? Because you know what? We're not doing this. I'm not going to do this again. You are not going to beat me with a stick. She gets so angry. She's so over the top. Just calm down, lady. Your head's going to pop off.

Nobody's been you the stick. We're just going to bring up the same thing over and over again until you submit. She goes, well, I will not do that. And Kathy's like, well, we're just having a discussion. I don't know what we're talking about, though. I haven't been paying attention. So Dorit is like, every time there's a chance to take accountability, you cannot just make yourself a victim. You know, say I'm an adult. I take accountability whenever I make a mistake.

which is, should we just like roll all the scenes of Dorit, Garcelle having to explain to Dorit why the things she has said in the past have been either problematic or sound like they have a tin ear or whatever. And her just saying, you know, refusing to hear anything Garcelle has to say at any restaurant. Yeah. I take accountability every time I make a mistake. For example, the time I said that I'm very close to minorities who happen to work for me.

How I said, "Yes, they do work for me." Is that so bad? That's taking a cunebulity! I mean, is it so wrong that I said that Garcelle attacked me when she raised her voice .3 decibels? I don't think so. It was an attack. And of course Garcelle's like, "Well, as Jennifer Tilly would say, 'Durice taken accountability for two minutes.' I mean, come on. Now all of a sudden she's an accountability guru?"

She's like, well, there has been no point where you have tried to rectify any of our little mishaps. You know what, Dorit? I have been thinking about this long and hard. And what I want to say is that I'm not wearing vodka tonight. I'm actually wearing more whiskey.

But anyway, well, I don't know what you just said, but we're like, here's what I've got to add to that. Okay. I said something at the caviar party and I did not feel like myself at all when I said that. And we see the flashback is when she said like,

basically like you're poor. And so it's like, and I sincerely apologize to you because what I should have said is you are very poor, not just regular poor. And I really did not lean in enough to how low in society you are. And I apologize for that. - I learned lessons.

as a little girl that I should have brought to this. You don't speak to poor people. You have security escort them out. And so I apologize for speaking directly to you. I know that must hurt. I apologize for filling you with hope when I looked you in the eyes that I gave you the feeling that maybe rich people would also look at you in the eyes. But no, no, we don't. We don't do that. And I should never have given you that sense of aspiration. And the fact that we sat at that caviar party together and

And I purposely wore a loss prevention jacket across from you. That wasn't right. That wasn't right. I mean, let's face it. This is California. I can't really get you arrested anyway. So it wasn't right of me to do that. But it's all right. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial.

Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future. Saving is so incredibly important. Things are so unpredictable. Things can change in a dime. And that's why I save my dimes by savings. And that's why I save my dimes by saving.

And that's why I use Acorns. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. And you don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is spare change. If you haven't gotten started on your investment journey, it's never too late to start. And Acorns is a great partner to help you get headed down the right path.

Sign up now and join the over 13 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $22 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com slash crappins or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier 1 compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash crappins.

This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts, and exclusive Audible Originals that'll inspire and motivate you. Tap into your well-being with advice and insight from leading professionals and experts on better health, relationships, career, finance, investing, and more.

Maybe you want to kick a bad habit or start a good one. If you're interested in learning how to master your emotions and hearing scientifically backed advice for using your emotions as a tool, may I suggest Shift by psychologist and bestseller author Dr. Ethan Krause? Trust me, listening on Audible can help you reach the goals you set for yourself. Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash wondery. That's audible.com slash wondery.

i sincerely apologize and eric is like yeah it was but you know what it was just beneath you it was beneath you oh come on you're on a real housewife like honestly i feel like it was so this thing that she said was so like of all the things that could be said on a real housewife show for someone to say like what was it like

like, go talk to someone while that fits or whatever, whatever the phrase was. Yeah, go talk to someone while it fits. Compared to any other show on Bravo. You think you're better than her? My wallet is. Whatever. I mean, I think that was pretty shitty, but it's really funny how Sutton tries to apologize because right after that, we see, we saw the confessional where Sutton's like, I don't regret saying that not once.

Every single second. I wish I said it more. I wish I said I wish I came up with rhymes for poor little idiot. I wish that I had the server walk up to her and say, I'm sorry, ma'am. We don't accept WIC cards here. That would be good.

Oh, goodness. So, Dorit's like, I appreciate that. And I think that if you had at any point, maybe had said that at some point, if you really felt sorry, if you didn't have to wait this long to have a pride out of you. And she's like, well, I'm doing it now. Well, you're very passive aggressive about it. She's like, well, Dorit. And Rose is like, she's actually trying to apologize, Dorit. And I'm like, Dorit, listen, this is the closest you're going to get to a sincere apology from Sutton. Okay.

And Sutton's like, excuse me, I mean... And she's just telling us this, but she's like, if she'd shut up, she'd hear me apologize for calling her Brokey. Okay. Brokey Roberts. Yeah.

I'm very sorry for what I said, even though it was admittedly hilarious and everyone at Caviar Caspia laughed because we all knew it was true. But anyway, you did not need to be embarrassed by the Caviar Caspia people. And what I said was low, even though true, but low. And I shouldn't have said it into your face. Only behind your back.

Unfortunately, Sutin, we've moved on to other things. She's like, oh, now there's a lot more you need to apologize for. So Boaz is like, Dorit, you're not even taking any of it in. It's an apology. Take it. And she's like, Gois, Gois, I said thank you. I said thank you. I appreciate it. But wait, there's more.

Well, Dorit is not going to think Sutton is genuine at this point, and I don't blame her. Sutton does a lot of things, apologizes for them, and then we as a group are left wondering, which was true? The low blow or the apology? You just don't know. It's a mind game. I'm in a magic mirror. I can't see which way is right. I'm like, oh, relax. Relax. Am I fat? Am I thin? I don't know. Why am I shaped like an hourglass? Why is my face so big? Erica, shut up.

- Erica is not, I'm sorry, Erica, you're having a great season and I've really grown to enjoy you on this show, but you cannot be accusing Garcelle, I mean Sutton, of saying things that you don't know what's true and what's not true when you had an entire season where you were like, "Well, it was snowing in Pasadena, so my son took his car out and it turns out he was driving on a roller coaster and he was in Roller Coaster Tycoon and went up in the loop-de-loop and then all of a sudden Tom, he got into his car and they crashed into each other in the roller coaster and Tom went down the mountain and he spun around and he was lying in a ditch."

Yeah. Yeah, agreed. So, but she's also like on the poor side. You know what I mean? So she's standing up for the other poor. And also, when Sutton apologizes and you don't know what was real, the slam or the apology, can't both things be true? I mean, most hurtful things you say are meant, but then you feel bad for saying them, so you apologize. It's called being an adult. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm sorry that she is so smart that she knows exactly what Dorit's trigger is, which is calling her poor.

Okay. Which I guess you don't have to be that smart to figure that trigger out, but still. Yeah. Well, I think what made it actually really mean is that Dorit is like, she's really going through it and losing her house and stuff. But I don't think that was happening at this time. I think if she called her poor, like right now when the house is being taken away and all that other stuff, that's allegedly being, that's allegedly going down and PK not paying any bills and stuff like that, that would be different. But you know, it was when Dorit was still pretending to have money. So.

Yeah. It didn't count. Yeah. I mean, it was mean. It was a mean thing to say. I keep on making excuses for it because it's like classic, you know, recapping housewives when there's one that you like more than the others. You'll be like, honestly, it was a compliment if you think about it. No, it was horrible. It was horrible. It was a shitty, shitty thing to say. It was a shitty thing to say. So not guilty.

But also, like, I guess, you know, when we watch other shows, people say things that are so much worse. I mean, it's like, find someone whose wallet fits compared to, like, um...

You your husband has one foot on one foot in the grave and one foot on a banana peel. And you sucked your way to the top. I mean, like a lot worse than this. Well, I also didn't think that it was so bad when Dorit made fun of made fun of Sutton's alcohol intake. So I don't know. Definitely not. Yeah, I think I'm just this whole season. I'm like, I mean, this is pretty mid as far as, you know, things to be mad about. Go. So I don't really care.

They're very sensitive. So Bo's like, Dorit, I think the question is, is there anything that you feel accountable for that you could actually apologize to Sutton about? That's where we actually need to go since you just bragged about how you take accountability. And she's like, well, you know what? The joke about the drink that I made, you know, that wholeheartedly was not to start anything or to hurt you, but just to...

highlight to everyone in the group that you are something of an alcoholic, and that's in many ways very humorous. So that's all I was merely doing.

It's like, "Oh, so we're calling that a joke now?" It's like, "Well, the comment, the comment. Listen, it wasn't my intention to call you an alcoholic, especially when everybody can see that you're clearly an alcoholic." And probably, if you hadn't called me a bitch after I said that you were an alcoholic, I probably would have said, "I'm so sorry, that wasn't my intention." But you called me a bitch, which meant that me calling you an alcoholic first, in retrospect, is actually allowed. So to be fair, it's not that you called me a bitch.

That was like the ultimate because Dorit can't be offended. She's called everyone the C word all season. Like how many times has she been like, what a effing thing? That's true. Yeah, that's true. Now she's like, how dare you speak to a woman like that?

So Kathy's like, well, listen, we're here for another four days. All right. You can't conquer Rome in a day, which isn't the saying, you know, because the saying is you can't build Rome in a day because I'm pretty sure Rome burnt pretty fast. It didn't take very much long to it didn't take that much time to burn it to the ground, but it didn't take long to build.

It did. You can't build it in a day. So Bo's like, well, I appreciate the honesty and the candor. And I really think, like you said, Rome wasn't built in a day. I'll subtly correct you. But probably some bricks are being laid because I do feel like we've made some progress in making one small building in an entire empire. So yeah, you know, it only took...

You know, it's a few thousand years for Rome to get to where it was. So it's a good sign for you, too. Well, while we've got a break in the fighting, I just want to say that, Bose, you know, I really appreciate when you came to my house the other day and said that you like me better than Tariq now. And you apologized for ever going on to her side and becoming my best friend. So thank you. That meant a lot to me, Bose. Everybody hear that? Everybody hear that? Yeah.

Like, Boze is kind of like my best friend now, so I just want to, like, announce that to the table. Like, I'm friends with her now, too, so I guess that makes me pretty cool. Well, from that moment, I said, look, whatever I can do to help Kyle, I'll do it. Did you get my note about Nebba bangs again? Good. And God answered my prayer when I went to Soho House, and sitting across from me, not even an arm's length away,

with John Turturro making up with him with a homely, homely lady.

and i thought oh my goodness he's making out with his sister but then it turns out it was not even aida it was a different person entirely it wasn't until i said i loved that show when you had to deal with toe jam that was a good drama on hbo did you ever see that the night of his character had like crippling foot disease like crippling athlete or something and it was just him picking his toe jam with a pencil for eight episodes i mean that was a decent show but god i'm

I will never forget that or forgive John Turturro. So as I sat there at the Soho house enjoying some very okay food, I was looking at Mauricio making out with a girl. And I said, never again. I will text Kyle Richards right now. So she texted. I don't know why this made me laugh, but she goes, there's Mo with his girl. And Kathy went, a female Mo.

a female and she went a girl and garcelle says like a woman with a woman okay let's all decide how let's all agree on how we're going to refer to women all right kyle is ready to call her a little bitch slut it was a girl one of one of the girls

So Garcelle's like, well, Greece, not Malibu. I mean, who knows where else? It doesn't sound like a random girl. Sounds like it's his girl. And if you were to say it's just some stranger, I would say...

And then I texted Kyle and I said, girl. And then afterwards I gave her the full report. And Kyle's like, yeah, three and a half minute long voice. No, I haven't gotten one of those since Jamie Lee Curtis actually forgot to press end when she was leaving me a voicemail. God, that was, that got ugly.

it technically wasn't a voicemail she was actually trying to call her husband and then she dialed me by accident because honestly i got into her phone and i put my number under christopher guest uh contact but like whatever it's still fun it's still fun we laughed about it afterwards in my lap i mean i laughed by myself because i'm like wow jamie lee curtis knows me because i made her know me yeah so then we get to hear buzz's voice now hey babe full report she's not cute

I mean, look, if you're going to go do it, like get the cutest girl on the planet, right? No, actually, I was sitting there. They were there. I was dreaming of scenarios where I could put them in the water. Let me know what you want me to do. Kill him. I'll run up on a man. Let me know. You know what? That's being a girl's girl. I invented girls and I invented being girl's girls. Blue!

So then Kathy's like, that's a girlfriend right there. I'm sorry. That's a female friend right there. That's a female friend. Well, we all have your back. We all want to fight for you. So what, uh, if I'm being completely honest, I feel that we tiptoe about scissoring Morgan. Can we get into that? How does that work? I was like, uh, uh, uh, what? Like we, we, we had a pact not to mention her. She who shall not be named. And,

And she looks totally shocked. And Garcelle's like, well, we don't know what the situation is. And if we're being supported in a way, in that way, then we can back off, which is such a funny way to put it. Like, tell us more, because if she's giving you all the emotional support that you would get from a boyfriend or a spouse or a lover, then we'll know you're set and we're okay. But if you're not being supported by her, then that way we can go in on her as well. Yeah.

She's just messy, but she's just putting it under the guise of like actual, like, I want to make sure you're okay. Yeah. I mean, during this generally, I agree with Garcelle in general that Kyle doesn't have the right to be like open and honest to everybody else, but then she won't talk. But it's also, she said 5 million times, she's not going to talk about it. Morgan refuses to be talked about on the show, this and that. So I'm kind of like, why are we going back to this? Well, but then I saw on the after show that,

I just saw a clip that was posted and Garcelle's like, listen, it's everywhere. It's on all the blogs. When we're shooting, it's literally everywhere. And Kyle flying everywhere with this girl. And then it has... Like everyone else has to be open and honest, but she doesn't. It's just fucking annoying. And then it cuts to Kyle in her own room and Kyle's like, well, you know...

Like, she knows my situation and why I can't say it. And how come it's okay for Garcelle? Like, her kid doesn't want to film, and that's fine. She doesn't want to talk about that. And then her other son had stuff going on, and she doesn't want to talk about that. Those are her children. How are you even going to compare somebody requesting that their child, especially after one of them was bullied by you guys on...

on national TV. Why, how are you going to argue that that's even close to being the same thing? Give me a fucking break. Well, the thing is, is I think also Kyle has, there's an expectation that they all should rally around Kyle and,

And, you know, if they see Mauricio out in the wild, they're going to report back to her and they're going to they're going to support her and yada, yada, yada. And it's like, fuck this guy, which in some ways they should, because Kyle is their castmate and ultimately they are friends with Kyle first. But I think that like there's an element that they have to really put themselves out for Kyle. And Garcelle's like, honestly, I don't even like this woman. She's like.

She's superficial. She's fake. Everything is about her. And you know what? I'm sick of... Here I am on TV, kind of like co-signing this group bashing of Mauricio. But the truth is, we don't even know what's going on on Kyle's side. And I'm kind of sick of it. And so I want...

I think it's time for Kyle to also, you know, if, if we're going to like rake some random girl over the coals and start saying like, Oh, she's, she's, she's not, this random person's not cute. She's a girl, you know, like, how about like Kyle, you talk, you know, you've got some stink on your side as well. So why don't we talk about that? And also Garcelle did talk about her son on the show quite a bit. So I'm surprised that never happened. And then we get Erica backing up, of course, the party line, you know, the,

Kyle party. It's a sad party. But the Kyle party line where she's like, well, Garcelle wants information about Kyle, but we know nothing about Garcelle. I mean, who's Garcelle sleeping with? I know she had a roster back in the 90s. That was good. And then we see Garcelle talking about how she's banged, you know, all these famous people. And then she goes, well, maybe she's Pete's.

Oh, my God. Look who's talking, lady. The last person you bragged about was fucking Armie Hammer before he got canceled for talking about wanting to eat people. Shut up, Erica. And what do we know about you? You still won't even you're still pretending you're innocent in this whole thing. What about Marco Marco, lady? You're lucky nobody brings that up. So I don't want to hear America. Yeah, I know. Like at least at least Garcelle's roster in the 90s included like.

like Johnny Depp and you know, all these people and yours was Tom Girardi. Yeah. Yours was old nuts on the ground. Tom Girardi who fucked over like how many, how many victims and then you helped fuck over Marco Marco. So whatever lady don't, I liked Garcelle's Garcelle's response. And as someone asked Garcelle on what happens live, someone's like, what did you think about Erica saying that you peaked? And Garcelle just goes, fuck Erica. Yeah.

Fuck Erica. Yeah. Well, there is no situation, you know, I mean, you guys know everything. I mean, sure. You saw me at a concert, but I had that on the books for like six months. So, and she says it like it was an, she says, I literally had an appearance that I had on the book. So,

Morgan is booking appearances of you in the wings at her shows? No. I don't believe it. - Yeah, I think that doesn't seem right. And also, I just wanna say one other thing about this peek. Sorry to go back a little bit. This peeking, like, oh, Erica's saying, well, maybe she peeked. Like, how sad is it that the definition for Erica of Garcelle peeking is based off of who she slept with?

like I would argue that Garcelle is ascendant, right? Like this is, I think this is the most exposure. I mean, Garcelle obviously was famous in the nineties. She was on the gym and then she was in the Jamie Foxx show, late nineties, early 2000s. She's been around all these years. She was coming to America back in the eighties, et cetera. Like she's been with us all the time, but I would argue her being on the show is like the,

her most high profile gig that she's had or like the one the thing that she has had her name on more people's mouths than ever before and so I would say she has not even reached her peak so but for Erica it's like well who your fucking represents what your peak is

Like there's actually something very sad and inherent in what was just a shady comment. Yes. But it really is an extra revealing shady comment. Yeah. And she's got more going on than who she's fucking. I like that point. And she's producing film after film. Erica, what are you doing? You're like, speak.

over garage band loops. Like, give me a fucking break, okay? And mooching tables off reunion sets for your fucking house remodel. Give me a break. Oh, did you see that, by the way? Did I send you that Reddit thing? Reddit, let me tell you, if you ever have a mystery to solve, Reddit is who to give it to, okay? Someone posted, isn't this the same coffee table from the reunion set? And sure enough, Erica's new table in her remodeled home is from the reunion set. Wow.

She's just taking shit right off the set. So get out of here. You're manufacturing the shit that you're mooching off reunion sets. Come on.

I'm going to say good for you on that front. I would say, you know what? You should take that. Take that coffee table. But by the way, those garage band loops powered Erica to be all the way into the background, her song, all the way in the background of Inonora. So, you know, I don't know where the background of a movie about a Russian or about a whore marrying a Russian billionaire is like the height of a compliment. You know what I mean? Well, maybe Inonora Peaks. I don't know.

It's like, wow, my song got played in the strip club on the Sopranos. Like, wow, it's huge. Honestly, if I heard any one of my stupid musical tracks that I made five years ago playing in the background of literally anything, I would be like issuing press releases. I'd be so happy.

um anyway she shouldn't be happy i'm just you know no i know i'm just erica because she's like she's sitting on everybody else's accomplishments yeah she's so great carl's like whatever that was an appearance it was on the books and she was well right but that brings attention right and said well what am i supposed to do i mean going to the gas station brings me attention you know like i can't even get granola out of the bin at the sprouts without getting attention it's everywhere i go the park

paparazzi are everywhere because you're calling them everywhere. And I'm so glad that Garcelle just keeps her foot on her neck because she's like, yeah, does paparazzi really follow Kyle Richards everywhere? I mean, Julia Roberts can go to the grocery store, but Kyle can't. Please. I know. I can't even do my favorite hobby, shopping, because I can shop anywhere. Gas station, 7-Eleven, and the paparazzi are always there. Yeah.

So, um, Dorit's like, Coyle's been in this town for a very long time and she knows how things work. And if you want to avoid being seen with Morgan, you know how to do it. Yeah.

And so Kyle's like, well, like maybe one day, like I'll have a great story to share with you guys. Maybe. And Kathy's like, maybe you won't. She goes, okay, well, maybe I don't. It's been 54 years so far. Still haven't gotten a good story out of you, Kyle. Still waiting. Yeah. I have white parties. The guy from Fatburger comes over and makes stuff for people.

So Garcelle goes, I hope you do, Kyle. I hope you have a great story to tell. Now, let me nuzzle my chin against your shoulder a little bit. Just tell you, as your best friend, here's the kind of author I want to be. The kind of author that supports a friend to write a beautiful story about herself. Kyle, I hope you have a great story. And furthermore, I hope you dance. Dance.

Are you just singing that song the other day on the show? Yes. Is that why that came to me? Yes. In the Below Deck Creek. Naturally, of course. Yes. Of course. Where it fits in the best. So Garcelle's like, is it annoying that Sutton's infatuated with Kyle? Yes. But I needed her tonight. And she was so blinded by Kyle's light.

And they make a little twinkling sound. It's like, but she didn't have my back. And, you know, part of this, I'm like, why is it?

Why does she have to help gang up on Kyle? This is ridiculous. And you've done it a million times. Like, give it a rest. Like, it is kind of getting old to me. The whole, like, hounding Kyle about the same shit over and over. But then I remembered, and they showed us clips of this later, that they actually had a discussion where they're like, we're going to get Kyle denied about the lesbian thing, right? It's like, yeah, get her. And then once they do it, it's just like, oh, my God, Kyle, I'm so sorry. She's being mean to you. You know, she has that kind of an attitude. So I'd be pissed, too. Commercials.

Here comes one right now. The stench of sweaty uniforms in a football team's locker room can be unbearable. But Arm & Hammer Deep Clean Laundry Detergents fights the toughest odors to deliver a championship-level clean. Arm & Hammer Deep Clean Detergents are the brand's most powerful formulas yet that can penetrate deep between fibers to tackle tough dirt and odors.

Just like an elite defense, its pH Power technology sends in millions of ionic micro scrubbers to dominate the toughest stains and odors. And unlike those premium tickets, with the trusted value of Arm & Hammer, you don't need deep pockets for a deep clean. Available in liquid or convenient power packs, it works in all machines and temperatures, even cold water. When it comes to tough stains and odors,

Have you ever wondered how a circus performer could become the most powerful woman in the Byzantine Empire? Even the Royals is a podcast from Wondery that pulls back the curtain on royal families from ancient empires to modern monarchs to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. Before we get into that,

Before she ruled an empire, Theodora was a teen sensation in circus shows featuring dancing bears, burlesque performers, and blood-soaked chariot races. But when her star came crashing down, she clawed her way from rock bottom to the very top, using everything from comedy to espionage to get there. Empress Theodora didn't just survive. She revolutionized women's rights across the Byzantine Empire.

like changing laws to let women divorce men, own property, and bring abusive men to justice. For all her work in pioneering, she's remembered as the most powerful Byzantine empress in history. Follow Even the Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Even the Royals early and ad-free by joining Wondery Plus.

I would be furious. I have childhood trauma around this topic because when I was in kindergarten, I was cast as a tree in the kindergarten production of Snow White.

And as a tree, I was part of an ensemble of trees and together we created a forest. And when Snow White is banished from the castle, she has to go running through the woods where she eventually finds famously the dwarves. And so as the trees, the direction that we were given as actors was that we could either be

kind trees and say run snow white run get to safety or we could be evil trees and go tell us about your lesbian relationships no we could be very nosy trees and say what's the deal with morgan wade am i right you fucking cinderella or not i heard they found your slipper in your place what

You could also be a bad jokey tree and say, is there vodka in that? Which was strange as a kindergartner to ask. You could be a really offended tree. How dare you call me that?

Or it could be a gossipy tree. I just saw Mauricio with a girl and she's not cute. Keep running, Snow White. Mauricio had his dick in an ugly tree. I'm telling you that. Right now, girl. Okay, so what kind of tree did you choose to be? So all the boys, of course, the boys were like, we'll all be evil trees. And all the girls were like, no, we want to be nice trees. We want to support Snow White. I was like, okay, so boys will be mean, girls will be nice. You know, classic. So...

We all, that comes the big scene and we all are lined up, right? Cause we're trees. And I'm like the first tree, I think like stage, right? And so Snow White comes running through. So I'm the first tree that Snow White encounters. So I go, and then every single other tree went run Snow White run, even the boys. So,

You were the only evil tree. I was a psychotic tree. Everyone was like, oh, that poor kid lost it, forgot his line. I was like, no, we had an agreement to all be psychotic trees, but I was the only one. So everyone was like a nice tree, and there's this one fucking strange tree that's literally trying to kill Snow White, and that was me. So I understood Garcelle's pain when she stood up there like a psychotic tree.

and did the muahaha to Kyle and Sutton did not do her part and Sutton said, run Snow White, run to Kyle. I did not appreciate that. Were all the other trees played by Lisa Vanderpump? There was one played by Lisa Rinna, actually. Snow White! Snow White! How are you? Snow White, how are you?

So then this fight is pretty much over. So Bose announces that tomorrow is the boat excursion, which is terrifying because we know what happens on boats, these shows. And this show is no exception. So now we go back to the villa and Kathy gets a call. Oh, sorry. I just want to say Kathy's like, what time? She goes, we start at 930. Okay. That means 10 for me. She's like, I mean, we started at 930.

It's like, that's so Kathy to be like, I'm not even going to pretend like I'm gonna be on time. I'm building in 30 minutes for me and all boats can wait. Yeah.

So Kathy gets a call from Carol, her brand manager, and she's like, hold on, hold on. She's like putting on, you know, creams and sucking down vitamins and doing all the stuff that Kathy Hilton does, injecting stem cells from a baby she stole on the beach. You know, that kind of stuff. And it's like, hold on a second. I'm changing. Just hold on one second. OK. And she just puts the phone on the bed and never comes back. Never got it.

Ten minutes later you just hear Carol going, "Uh, Kathy? Kathy? Kathy?" So then, um, uh, Garcelle, everyone's getting ready and everything. So they're all settling in and stuff, and Garcelle is not happy with what happened at dinner. But in the meantime, Bose is talking to Erica, and she's like, "So,

Why don't we even start with something like this? I might have to go to sleep with my, my hair is too big. I'm not going to take it all, take it all off. And Erica's like, yeah, well, whatever. And Erica starts pulling out her, her clips and everything. And Bose is horrified. Bose is like, what is going on? Like, why are you taking your hair out right now? She's like, this is the second time.

Can I just say that this is only the second time in my life I've seen white women rip out tracks, clip in and just throw it on the chair next to them. And the cultural thing. I love that it's a cultural thing. It's just a white lady thing that they just start ripping out their hair and throwing them on the couch.

And Bose is like staring because we see the first time she saw it was at the party at the beginning of the season where they were pulling out Kathy's clips and everything. So they're then starting to have this as they go on with the scene, Erica is still pulling out the hair. And every time she puts her hair down on the sofa, you see Bose looking at it like, you're disgusting. Yeah, you're trash. So Dorit's like, well...

booze now i understand the intention tonight but because she's about to come for bows for not having her back and like standing up to her at the party or saying something against her at the party so buzz is like no look look this is i can't concentrate on anything but the hair can we talk about this in a minute please white women please explain so then um

But Dorit's like, well, remember, we were having these conversations and Sutton said, it's just how hypocritical she was being. Do you remember? Do you remember? And Erica's like, oh, God damn it, this hurts. Does this look real, by the way? Does anybody fall in for this bullshit?

Yeah. And Dorit's like, you know, I think Bose wants to believe the best in people. It's one of the things I love about her. Unfortunately, I have enough experience to realize Sutton isn't sorry about the wallet comment and she's worried about the way it made her look to all these women and she's trying to say a face, which is probably true. I'm going to say that Dorit is probably accurate on that one. Well, that's true, but it's also hypocritical because when is Dorit ever sincere? Like when is Dorit ever nice to Sutton?

I mean, give me a break. And then there's that. Yeah. I mean, you can't say that you felt bad about making the joke about the booze, but then you decided you were not going to call it back because you called you a bitch. Yeah. Okay. So she's like, you do realize that I've been sitting for three weeks with the shit that she slung at me? She's like, yes, but then when you finally get it, acknowledging the apology is important. She's like, I did. I did. I acknowledge it by saying, I do not accept this. Yeah. And so you keep going back.

And she says Dorit has a challenge with being able to give apologies and now receiving apologies. So she's starting to see some cracks in the Dorit facade. And she's like, okay, so what do you want this chick to do? And she's like, well, for us, it has to be more than just words.

Erica, she's done this 9 million times. It's like, yes, yes, you know. Like pyramid over there. Yeah. I think it's just letting things be and seeing how it develops. She's like, well, but, you know, you have to not put it on the back burner because that doesn't solve anything. And so Dorit's like, well, maybe there's no solution. Sutton's just evil. So in the other villa, of course, Sutton is talking about this shit with Jennifer and Garcelle.

And so she's like, well, how do you feel, Sutton? Because I really feel like you guys made a little progress today. No? No. Okay. Your eyes are slitting and they're turning red and green. Okay. Christmas is canceled. Damn those puppies. I get it. I get it. I'll just be sitting over here quietly. So Sutton says this is her classic warning that she's unhappy and she's about to say something shady. Well,

I'm going to say this. You're like, uh-oh. She's announcing that she's going to say something. I'm not going to today. Okay, everybody? I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it.

I think that's like maybe move the needle a little bit. She's like, I moved the needle, okay? I picked up that needle and I moved it and that needle pierced me in the heart. I'm not apologizing again. And Griselle is pissed. She's still pissed at Sutton. And she's like, well, I don't think you should apologize. No, unless you're apologizing to me, hint, hint. And she's like,

Well, I'm not. And I'm actually... I will say this. I did appreciate when Kyle, my new best friend, did step up in defense of me for Dorit for about three seconds. That was very special. We see a flashback of Kyle saying like, Dorit, that's not nice. She's like... I mean, the way she stood up, it's just so wonderful having a best friend. I never had someone who had my back like that. And it's just hearing those words for the three seconds while I sit in my cocktail. It just...

It just filled me with so much love. I felt like I had a wind beneath my wings. And then she tells us, Kyle, stepping up for me. I knew we were friends. I knew it. I knew it. And now everybody does too. It's just so sad to be this insecure when you're so rich and like have so many years under your belt. Like,

come on you're like the better you're like the bet you're like you you are the prize in this situation not kyle so garcelle's like okay well when somebody says to you you know when you say i'm going i'm going back to kyle when she said if there's anything to tell you i will tell you then we do say and then like and then then we do and then we say okay i'll leave it alone um and son's like well i do think it's a bit unfair to just say we want to know everything right now and you just got to tell us yeah but

Remember we made a plan. Remember we sat there and we're like, we're going to get her on this one. Should we roll the flashback? Yeah. Well, we made that plan before me and Kyle were best friends. So, I mean, we're basically friend married now. So you're basically coming after my friend, my friend, girl, woman, female. What am I supposed to say now?

Well, all of a sudden, you're not doing it. When it comes to Kyle, you have a blindfold on. That's not true. Why would I have a blindfold on to the most radiant and beautiful person at the table? Well, I believe it. I mean, that's how I feel. And you want me to tell you how I feel, so I'm telling you how I feel.

And she's like, why could we do it last year? She goes, well, last year I asked a lot of questions because there were a lot of, you know, changes in her life. So they seemed dramatic. Also, she wouldn't ask me. So that was pretty much it. You know, what do you want from me? What do you want from me? You know, I had listened to friend to friend. And she goes, I don't want anything. You know what? I'm going to bed. Good night. You know, you've got blinders on. Good night. And she's like, well, you did the same thing, Garcelle, last year. And then Garcelle trips. And she's like, oh, damn it. She goes, oh, forget it.

admit to doing the same thing last year. She's like, well, I'm not saying I didn't, but now when it comes to her, you're just so protective. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, she's not always been the most amazing fan. She's like, I am not protecting her because she can do everything herself. She is wonderful and she is self-reliant. I don't need to do anything for her. She's like, well, for some reason your loyalty is beyond. She's like, well, I am not protecting her and there's no loyalty. I just will do whatever Kyle wants to do. And that is my choice. That is not out of loyalty. And I want Kyle to do whatever she wants to do. I'm not going to protect her. That's her life. Her wonderful, glorious life that I am so lucky to be a part of. And I am not going to babysit a grown woman.

because I will be a friend to the grown woman a lot. I will not do that. The girl's like, whatever. This is a woman who survived an attack from a brick hitting her in the nose on the set of Halloween, one of the greatest films of all our time. Have some respect. Have some respect. The girl's like, I'm going to bed.

So Garcelle's like, all of a sudden she's taking a different stance. I mean, I've had sons back so many times, but tonight she just left me out to dry. Okay. I see you. I see. You know, it reminds me of it's, this is, I think Garcelle was like, this is the moment to land the death blow. We are going to finally get Kyle on the Morgan Wade stuff tonight. It's all set up. It's queued up. It's ready to go.

and then Sutton's not there to help do it and bust it wide open it's like on a reality it's like on Big Brother that's one season the season six of Big Brother when there was like the friendship versus the other people and the other people were going to like the the Sovereign Six they were going to finally take out the friendship and then Howie for some reason put up people from the Sovereign Six and you're like why why I know this is a very specific reference but

But to those who saw that season, they will see it here in Sutton's actions. Sutton!

So she goes to bed and then Jennifer Tilly comes to comfort set and she's like, would you like a good and plenty? And there's a couple with some hairs on them. There's glitter on this one. I don't even think I have glitter in my suitcase at the moment. She's like, I need a moment alone, please. I need to take some time to myself for a second. Listen.

it's very hard for me to think about the dulcet tones of Kyle Richards voice when other people are talking. So please leave me alone. So I could just hear her sounds. Oh yeah. That's how that sounds great. So now the next day, they're all getting ready to go to the boat and Jennifer is putting on earrings and she's like, Oh God, there's a hole here somewhere. That's what he said. And, um,

Boze and Erica are getting their glam done. And Erica's like, well, I take sleeping pills on a trip like this. She's like, you do? She's like, I have to. Otherwise, I don't, you know. You don't wake up? Yeah. Well, how do you wake up?

Magic. She's like, oh, okay. So in the next villa, Sutton and Garcelle sit to have a little chat over their coffee. And she's like, okay, well, listen, have you seen the girls? She goes, how could I see the girls? Like I've been perusing the neighborhood in my nightgown. I have some sense. How would Kyle Richards feel if she knew her best friend was walking around in her nightgown? So listen.

I want to say something. I'm sorry. I got a little frustrated last night and I stormed off. I just wanted to see what it was like to be petty like Kyle Richards. She's like, oh, okay, well, I hope you enjoyed that. You know, it was our first fight. She's like, I know, I know. It was exhilarating, but also kind of sad.

I'm like, if I'm going to fight, I want it to be against someone that's more entertaining. You know, I get that. I get that. So then Garcelle's saying, I just feel like we're tiptoeing around Morgan. You know, when I brought that up at the table, you went on full protecting mode of her. And I get it. You guys are in a good place now. And I am. So am I with her. But I felt frustrated. And I just felt like you weren't listening to me. And I guess I just wanted backup since I've done it for you for so many years.

So many years. I get it. You want to back up. And it was hard for me to get back up because I was being backed up by Kyle Richards, which felt so amazing. And, you know, if she's backing me up and then I'm backing you up, we basically got a pyramid. And I don't have the upper body strength to do that. Do you understand?

You know, this year I really wanted to have a deeper relationship with Kyle, but it's like wanting to do the butterfly in a puddle. No matter what your aspirations are, a puddle is still just a puddle. Can't get any deeper than that. So anyway, she's out with Morgan here, she's out with Morgan there, and she's on the side of the stage, and we're not allowed to say anything about it. Why can't we ask about it?

Yeah, so we see a clip of Kyle being like, oh my God, you know, like all the stories out there. I'm aware. I'm aware of how famous I am, you know, and there's just so much curiosity about that person that I, you know, forced a tattoo on of myself and then, you know, fed vegetable kebabs at a memorial service. And, you know, I don't know why anyone's curious about it, but I don't have to speak on anyone's behalf but my own.

so Garth fells like you know like how are we supposed to have a friendship if you're hiding your life

you know, sometimes when somebody is just so adamant about not want to talk about it, you just have to respect it and move on. Unless it's your mother, in which case you just ask her every single day to say, I love you until finally she breaks down and does it because there's a TV crew there, but that's a special occasion. Well, that's what I'm going to do. So Bo said she was at a restaurant and she saw Mo with a girl and called Kyle and told her, how about that? She was like, yeah, this is the first time I've heard that he's been there. And Chris was like, yeah, but that

girl like yeah she's dating like yeah they're dating yeah but why why shouldn't he I mean he's she left I agree she left him for a young woman and now everyone's like I can't believe Mo is such a villain dating listen let the man live his best life yeah yeah well I just I'm like you're separated you also kind of cast the first stone and I mean one could say who knows he cast the first bone

The first bone, right? I mean, look, it sounds very much like Marisa was not there for Kyle when she needed him. And so in some ways that is the first stone. But the point is like, we all saw last season, you and Morgan Wade. And I'm not saying it's like, I'm not being like, oh, you slut. I'm just saying, you know, the point is,

your relationship with Marisa has run its course and now you guys are starting to see other people and that's just the way it goes. And if you can do, it's just like stale outrage at this point. So, and, and it's not even Carl outrage really. It's everybody else trying to make it a big deal. So then, um, they all go down downstairs and start taking pictures and, um,

Jennifer Tilly is taking a naked photo of herself in the pool. You know, say, oh, look at this thirst trap. And it sounds like, wow, why is everybody else doing these thirst things? You know, I'm only thirsty for the material of my bathing suit. Vodka.

Yeah, they're all doing thirst traps. They're having a fun time with it. And now they all gather. And this is a, oh my God. Whoa, you look great. You look great. What are you wearing? It's Valentino. Oh my God. Fantastic. Blah, blah, blah. It's, you know,

It's the whole classic Beverly Hills 10 minutes of admiring brands. Yeah, so now it's time to go on the catamaran. She's like, well, there'll be swimming, food, sunbathing, swimming, more swimming. And Garcelle's like, could someone be thrown overboard? Absolutely. Can't wait to see who. Ho, ho, ho.

So now they get on the boat and stuff. And Erica's, you know, Erica's about to turn on Sutton because every time Erica does it, she butters her up first. That's so fucking funny. I wish they had like a montage that they showed of Erica doing this. So Sutton's like, please, excuse my butt in your face. She's like, oh, actually, it looks good. You look cute, girl. What are you weighing now? 100? She's like, oh, come on.

110. She's like, oh, good. Well, I'm 128 to 130, and that's it. Just us southern ladies obsessing over calories together, aren't we, besties? That's such a funny observation. I never noticed that, but it's true. She does butter her up. She buttered her up, and then she gets her all happy, and then just breaks her down.

So they're all getting on the boat and everything. And they're all sitting at the table. And Kyle, of course, her eyes, she notices Jennifer's earrings. And she's like, her eyes, of course, are like, bling, bling, bling.

She's got the Terminator eyes. She's got the display where it zooms in on the earrings. She's like, um, I can't get over your earrings. Like, I have the Dolce & Gabbana. She's like, I love them. I want them. Yeah, well, it's El Timota, so there's only one. So you can't get it at the Dolce & Gabbana boutique, which I'm sorry, I know that sounds really obnoxious. Carl's like, one of a kind. I can't buy them. She's spiraling. So

So now they go to the buffet of cheese.

And they're, you know, they start getting their eating and stuff like that. And so Jennifer is standing there and she's like, OK, do you need anything? And Kathy's like, do me a favor. Take my plate. OK, thank you. Thank you so much. OK. You want this, too? Yes. What is that, a fork? Yes. Oh, thank you, love. Could you hand me a napkin? And did you see any dressing over there? Is there any butter? Would you please get that? There's some crumbs on this table. That would be great if you could maybe decrum the table.

And the producer's like, does Kathy think that you're the help on the boat? She's like, I don't know. Sometimes I think she's not quite sure who I am. And Kyle's like, yeah, if you're around Kathy, she's going to ask you to do things for her. You know, I mean, that's just how she is. Oscar nominee? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. So Sutton's like, yeah, there's a hierarchy and Kathy's on the top. Thankfully, best friends with her sister. So I'm getting there. I'm getting there.

So everyone's now lazing about on the boat, sunbathing, et cetera. And, you know, Dorit hangs out with Kyle and she's like, honestly, Kyle, oh my gosh, if I fall into your face, I'm just saying. And,

And Kyle's like, oh my God, by the way, I have a very good view, by the way. I'm like, your butt is like right over my head. Oh my God. And she's like, you know, you're like a rock, Kyle. You have the body of a rock. She's like, really? I mean, I try, you know, that's like what I'm doing. I'm just going through the, going to the gym at 6am, not eating mashed potatoes, sending them back. So Dorit asks about Kim and,

And Kyle's like, she's good, but I don't see her. Like, how the fuck would I know? She's Kim. She's a mess. I don't want to talk about it. So then she's like, well, I haven't seen you three together in so, so long. And she goes, yeah, well, I mean, we're just not that close. So then we go to the other ladies and they're just the Richard sisters. Like to reach a note by now, you can never have three in the same room. One's always got to be on the outs.

And it's interesting, too, because Dorit's kind of on the goods with Kyle right now, but she's bringing up another subject she knows Kyle does not want to discuss, which is Kim. You know, so I thought that was interesting. So then Erica is talking to Sutton like, oh, what happened to you? Come on. She's like, well, I just don't want it to fly off, you know. So, you know, guys, I was talking to Garcelle today about my apology.

to read and I really meant it and I just want you all to know I meant it. I wouldn't put them on my ears. Okay? It was the thing I said.

And listen, my name is Gonze. Okay. I'm Gonze this. I'm Gonze. Well, it wasn't a good thing to say. It wasn't a good thing to say. It was a terrible thing to say. It was terrible. I beat myself up about it. Thankfully, the gold chain I was beating myself up with was a lot more hurtful than what other pleather leather strap Dorit would be beating herself with because she's poor. But I do feel bad. Very bad.

You know what I've noticed? By the way, you look great. I love the earrings on you. Your hat's wonderful. You just look better than ever. But you know what I've noticed? You are very critical and sometimes very not. You're just not the most compassionate to women that are going through the worst time in their lives. And I felt it with myself. And so I was like, oh.

And her eyes, she has these very feline eyes, and they just start to lower, and Sutton's like, oh, really? This is what we're going to do? And we see actually a very, very long montage of Sutton going after Erica to reach Kyle. So Erica's like, you know, you're pulling with a friend, and all that work is an enemy. I'm sorry, but just before we go on, because of all these clips they showed, they make it look like Sutton, and Sutton was...

The main one who would go after Eric and be like, but I read this article and everyone else was like, it's too long. I couldn't read it. But.

What pisses me off is she's doing all of this and then she's standing up for Kyle later. But it was Kyle who was the one saying, we're questioning Erica on this shit. If you're on a TV show, you have to be questioned. And that's just the fucking way it is. So we're going to do it, you know. And now she's off like she didn't do anything. And the only one being held to the fire is Sutton. And that's not fair. And it's also not the same thing, Erica, when you're it's a it's a whole scandal that's all over the national news that you don't get to just talk about. Like, that's crazy.

crazy. Of course you're going to answer. And then you come on making excuses for Tom and saying he's got dementia and all this other shit, trying to help his defense. Like, you don't just, you get questioned and none of this has anything to do with that. So Erica, the fact that Erica, every fight, Erica brings it back.

What about what was done to me last year? You fucking deserved it. And you're lucky that you got off and even got to come back and get a chance at redemption because you fucking deserve those questions. And you still do. There's so much stuff that they're not asking you right now. So consider yourself lucky. I wouldn't piss off Sutton while you still got that Marco Marco thing going on because...

A lot of the audience doesn't even think about that one. And she could nail your ass with that one. So be careful, Erica. Be careful, my little lamb. No, I mean, I think that you bring up a very good point, which is that like Erica is conflating, um, you know, being, um,

kicking people when they're down with someone who's trying to get clarity about something. And, you know, when you have a show where you have like the, probably the biggest star on the show, the, the biggest principal who, who champions the idea of being open and honest, open and honest, but then is very protective. Uh, and it's very private about when stuff is,

Yeah.

poke at me and you get to have fights with me and you get to do all these things with me and yet i'm not allowed to say question you and i've had it i'm gonna ask you questions and it's uncomfortable for erica and for dureet and for kyle um but like it's also she's doing her job okay it's not it's not like she's going around like fat shaming them or something like that i mean

you know, when sudden, when sudden the, but the whole thing with the invasion and sounds like, well, I had a hard day too. Cause that there's someone who's supposed to be on a plane. It couldn't come in here. It's like, that was shitty. Yes. But the truth is, like you said,

This is a show about being sort of putting yourself out there on TV. And they're not. They're being very protective. They get selectively protective, selectively open and honest. And Sun's just kind of like, you can't do this. And now you're going to make me look like the shitty person when I'm just doing the thing I'm supposed to be doing. Yeah. And so Erica's like, well, you pose as a friend and oftentimes work as an enemy. And Garcelle just goes, wow. Wow. Wow.

She's like, you know, I've had enough of sitting back and watching Sutton. Strat's fake apologies, fake sisterhood. If Sutton was sincere about the apology last night, she wouldn't have had to bring it up and sell it to us one more time. I'm like, well, she would have because if you didn't bring it up, it's like, can you believe she just thinks she can say it this one time and then everything is fine. So Sutton is like, here, I'm just going to emphasize that it was so important for me to bring it up that I'm going to say it again. And they're like,

oh really wow now it's we know it's fake because you had to sell it to us a second time and of course Sutton is going to blow this up into a much bigger deal so she's like to say mistreat women how dare you she's like well I mean these women here she goes that is a very strong statement Sutton strike mistreats women how dare you how dare you

Ramona Singer pops up, "I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'you don't support other women, Erica'." So Erica's like, "Well, it's a true statement for me and what I've observed for the last three years and this is just my observation is that it's okay for you to say things and we can't say things." "Oh, for someone like you to say that, that I mistreat women and like to imply that I would ever mistreat someone as saintly and as godly as Kyle Richards over there? Absolutely not."

Yeah. And she's like, well, I mean, you do this thing. You say, I want to help you. I feel bad for you. And then we see the clip of her saying, I'm here for you. I got you a care package kit.

Okay. There's chips. There's candy. There's champagne. There's handcuffs. Those are for sexuality, not for prison. And I'm here for you. And then kind of like confronting her and taking her down. And she goes, but then you turn around and call me a liar because you were lying about a lot of shit. That's why. Okay. She did one thing. Then you lied about stuff. And then she asked you about the lying about stuff.

Yeah. So Erica's like, I'm just pointing out a pattern in the way that you've treated people at their lowest point. And so I was like, well, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you cared about patterns because there were a lot of patterns in the Tom Girardi case and you involved in it. So we're going to go talk about patterns. We're going to go there. But anyway, I'm sorry that I asked questions about the LA Times. I'm sorry that I'm the only one here capable of reading more than three sentences in an article and therefore it all was on my shoulders to ask questions about it. It really seems to bother you.

She goes, of course it bothers me. She goes, okay, well, that's on you. That's not on me. She goes, no, it's on you for doing what you did. She goes, I apologize, Erica. She goes, well, I do accept your apology, but you still did it.

So Kyle and Deirdre are like, oh my God, there's like a scene happening without us. Let's get involved. So they come in. By the way, Dorit, we haven't talked about this. Dorit is wearing like a Yosemite Sam hat. It is the most enormous beach hat. It is like, it looks like a giant like tortilla chip fell on her head. I took a picture of it because it was so funny. I don't know if I've ever seen a beach hat that was as big as that. So she's like, how do you know you've been hard on Dorit? She goes, Dorit has been hard on me. She goes, I know this, but you can't.

a dog when she's at her lowest. Well, I apologize. I apologize and then I apologize today, but I'm not going to be sitting here and put on trial by a judge and a jury like I'm a terrible person when I am not. I am not. I demand to have a jury of my peers, not a jury of my pores. Oh, she wants a jury of beers. I'm telling you, she does have a drinking problem. Oh, come on, listen better.

So Erica's like, you can feel the way you want. And I'm just telling you how I feel. She's like, oh, well, I can feel, I can feel the way I want to. Thank you for the permission, ma'am. So Erica's like, oh, I just knew the other, she was going to drop with her. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was me doing my Erica Girardi impersonation, which was quite accurate. I believe I just knew the other, she was going to drop with Erica at some point. And I knew not to trust it because she did this before to me. And so now we have montages of before, uh,

all those times when Erica has butted up Sutton and then turned on her like at the reunion. They're like, but I thought you said that you forgave. I thought you said that you forgave Sutton, Erica. And she goes, oh, I was just playing a bitch.

that was such a disaster that reunion that was one of the worst reunion performances oh my god she just looked crazy too oh my god whatever she looked like a totally different person that was that was nuts yeah so it sounds like you're not a real friend erica you know what i gave you a pizza party at chuck e chase well

Well, I basically, everyone, guess what? Here's the newsflash. I'm basically a terrible person. That's what I am. You said I'm unkind to women. We're going through their baddest or worst point in their lives. It's like, well, you in this group. No, you said women as a whole. Okay, let me tell you something.

I was always nice to him. I was nice to Nancy Reagan when I met her that one time. I was like, oh, don't talk about women in this group. I mean, don't get into semantics. Oh, and now I'm anti-Semitic. Is that what you're trying to say? Oh, wow, that's real convenient. Do you know how many Jewish people I've tried to help get divorce lawyers when their husbands cheat?

I'm not even talking about Jewish people. Well, see, look at me. I'm being inclusive in this argument and you're not. So now who's the right-wing one? And by the way, Kyle converted to Judaism also. And guess what? She is a wonderful person, aren't you, Kyle? Kyle, I'm your best friend. I'm your best friend, right?

Well, she's just trying to clarify. She's just trying to clarify. Let Erica clarify. And Seth's like, oh my God, Carl's jumped ship now. Fucking bitch. I can't believe it. I can't believe that. Bitch. But Seth's sticking to this whole thing now. Like, you say I'm anti-woman. She's like, oh, shut up, Seth. And I'm not saying anti-woman. I'm saying I'm...

anti-us. I mean, this group, anti-woman. How dare you? So Sutton's trying to make it this much worse thing. And then she's like, what do y'all want from me? What do you want? Seriously, what do you want from me? I'm tired. I get blamed for everything. All you do is tell me I'm wrong constantly. Oh, God, man, you are not going to kick me when I'm down.

And this, and during this time, I'm like, wow. I'm like, Garcelle is really being like quiet. You know, like normally they are been accusing Garcelle of being son's mouthpiece, but Garcelle is not doing it this time. And she says, well,

Well, there's so many times that, you know, Kyle could step in to have Sutton's back and she doesn't. She's not doing it today. And Sutton refused to see it. And I've been seeing it for years. And Garcelle's kind of like, I'm not doing this. I've jumped, like, you know, she didn't have my back last night. I'm not going to have her back this time. Let's see if her new friend Kyle will jump in. And, of course, she doesn't. Which, of course, Kyle jumps to the wrong side. Yeah.

So they're like, oh, come on. So Dorit's in it now. She's like, come on, Sutton. And Sutton's like, pick on somebody else. But why is it okay for you to pick on people? And she goes, I'm not picking on anybody. You picked on me. It hurt. It's been three weeks of peeing, pure peeing.

"Oh, come on, Doreen." She's like, "If you don't think you've picked on me, that's okay. That's fine. But you have." He's like, "Well, you know what? That's what I said." And Sutton's like, I'm sorry, Erica's like, "That's what I said." I'm getting very stimulated because it was a really good fight. And Sutton's like, "I was so handpicked by you. I was the picking. I was like a little kernel of corn in your beak and you're picking and picking

I'm pecking. No. Okay, again, you actually need to speak English so I can understand. Please, hand pecking. I don't get it. Yeah, please, speak English words. I don't understand what you're saying. And she's like, well, maybe if I did it in an English accent, it would work better for you. Maybe so. Maybe so. That did actually help quite a bit. Thank you. I was a little confused.

So, I can only take so much, okay? So, you know, I apologize to you, and I meant every single thing. She's like, well, you apologize for caviar caspia, but what are you, what you're not understanding is that there's more to apologize for. Well, that's all I am gonna apologize for, for caviar, for calling you poor at the caviar place. Oh, really? What about bitching me home?

You know what? That's it. I'm not going to apologize for anything else. I am good. I am good right now. Do you want to move forward? Do you want to move forward, Zutton? She goes, well, not right now. I'm good right now. I am good. It's like, well, well, well. Her actions have been saying all along, but for the first time...

Her words and actions match. And this is why I don't believe your apology. Oh, please. You pick and you pick. Sutton's right that Dorit just keeps picking and picking until Sutton gets pissed. And then she goes, there she is, losing her temper. Well, what you ordered. Don't order a hamburger and be mad that you got fries on the side.

You know what? I apologize. And I meant my apology. But I want to be on ice with you. Carcass in. Bo's like, oh, well, this is really surprising to me. I don't know this Sutton in this way. She's lashing out. She's angry. And I'm seeing a different side that I'm not sure I like. Where have you been, Bo's? That's Sutton's personality. Lashing out and angry. She's had like 30 breakdowns this season alone. It's not like it's her first time seeing him.

So, Sutton's like, this is not gonna be Sutton on trial for XE. We are not doing that. Last week on Crazy Yacht from Hell. So, Sutton, she's like, she has her hat, she puts on her hat, and she's just like, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. So, she, like, walks off. And Garcelle's like, normally, I

I would have something to say and I really don't like to see them pile up on Sutton and under regular circumstances, I would just say, everyone, no. But I'm not going to do that because the other night she didn't have my back. I'm not going to stick my neck out for her when she doesn't do it for me. She can deal with it.

And Kyle's like, I mean, Sutton loves to start an issue and then just like create a whole chaos around it and then like act like a victim. Okay. She didn't start this though. You were sitting right there. She just said she meant for apology. Yeah. So then Erica's like, oh, she's triggered because she knows I'm right. So Kyle goes to follow Sutton and Sutton's like, I just need to be myself too.

two seconds, two seconds. I've got things to say, very important things to say. And Kathy goes, these boat rides are

They're not really working. I don't think these are working. You know what? I came down here to console you, one very rich lady to another very rich lady. Sometimes poor people just don't understand, and you have to let poor people just be poor, and that's okay. She's like, thank you. Thank you for saying that. You know, I hate these fucking bitches. They're such a fuck. They're such fucking cut fitnesses. Such a fucking bitch. No.

And that's where we end Sutton having a breakdown out of a boat window, holding her son hat on, just saying the C word over and over. It was really good. It was a really good pile on on Sutton. And she acted exactly how you expect her to act, which is why she's so wonderful. Why she's been wonderful all along because she just can't help but be the disaster that she is. So everyone, thank you for being here, for listening. Go to watch crappens.com, get your tickets for the shows that are happening this weekend and beyond and

And we will catch you on the next episode. Bye, everyone. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Ashley Savoni. She don't take no below.

Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Catherine DiBernardo has our heart-o. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Jamie, she has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Hava Nagila Webber.

We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach. Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Mannock's door. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox.

Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches.

Betches. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. She's got a leg up, it's Beth Ani. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo. Karen McClure.

Murdo. She gets an A. It's Kelly B. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Shadley. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alcalani. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose.

Give him hell, Miss Noelle. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a can and Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinking violet cootar. We love you guys.

If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.