#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
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Hello Boston! Gorgeous! Hello! Thank you so much for being here Boston. We love you guys! Oh my god!

The Boston show is always a fun one on our tour. You guys have fun, and it's a Friday night. I love this town so much. When we came in yesterday, well, when I came in yesterday, we didn't fly together yesterday, so I was in alone, and I was listening to the airport announcements because, you know, that's what you do when you're alone. I never noticed. I was like, this is the proudest city I've ever been in. Yeah.

The whole way I was on the little walkie thing, you know, standing there listening to it. She's like, welcome to Boston. The best fucking city in America. It is a pretty good city. This is where you be who you want to be. This is where people who give a fuck live. This is people with a brain. We're people who know how to use a fork and a knife. We do Wordle. We can spell. We read here. I was like, damn.

I was walking home. I went to see a show about corn last night. It was good. What's it called? Shucked. It's called Shucked. They literally had a 10-minute musical number about corn to open it. I was like, what am I doing here? But I was walking home, you know, in the district, and there was even a homeless, I don't think you're allowed to say homeless, whatever you call it now. He was there, and he was like, Stop your honking, buddy. This is Liberty Park Square. Yeah.

I was like, even the homeless people have such a civic duty. Well done. Yeah. Well, it is a city of champions. You got the Red Sox. You got the Patriots. You got Boston Rob. Yeah.

So, I mean, look, it's hard to deny the resume, you know? You've got Ben, who managed to find a gaming podcast to go on and a group to play with all night long. He texted at 2 in the morning. Yeah, thank you to the Heavy Cardboard podcast for having me on last night. I don't think there's too much crossover between the worlds of Real Housewives and board games, but for the three people who enjoyed that crossover moment...

You're welcome. Thank you, Heavy Cardboard. Also, by the way, speaking of podcasts, we do have Ash and Elena from Morbid here. So what's up, Ash and Elena? Yes, our girls. We love them. You should listen to their podcast. Yeah, it's just been great. You know what I love about coming to the Boston is leaving that wretched 80-degree L.A. weather behind. What is happening? I...

I was packing my bags the other night, and I was like, okay, let me put on a cute little short sleeve. I'll pack a cute little short sleeve something or other. I was like, let me just check what the weather is. 27 degrees. The locals don't care, though. I was watching people walk around last night. There was a tank top out there. I was like, what the fuck are you doing, queen? I think it was math. Honestly, I think it was math.

Because when I got closer, it was like a little like... I was like, huh? Yeah, I packed this whole big puffer jacket. But then I kind of felt the shame of the city. Like, I felt like if I put on my puffer jacket when it was a mere... The pussy jacket. They would have been like, pussy. When it was a balmy 28 degrees on, like, really? A puffer jacket? That's a bit excessive. It's like a spring here. So good. Well, welcome to Watch What Crap Is. Yeah.

Tonight, we're proud to bring you the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 2. Yeah. Just do us a favor. Do not say lesbian. Please. We don't want to get sued. Please don't say something that could hurt my daughters and my family or my dogs. Wait, wait, wait. Oh my God, wait. Did you guys see the video of Kyle Richards today?

This is so fresh that if you haven't seen it, it's okay. This is like fresh Kyle Richards gossip, but like the best kind that's totally inconsequential, which is most of what Kyle Richards does.

Yeah, it's a Kyle story for sure. So there was a lady walking with three little dogs across the road. And admittedly, this lady is probably a monster. Also, let's describe the lady because we're recappers, you know. All right, here's the lady. This giant lady. She's got like a crazy ponytail, you know, where it's like kind of askew. Top of the middle. And there's shit like coming out all over.

She's dragging these three dogs who look like they've got a week left. Not a one of those. I don't know if she got them all at the same time when the Flintstones were living, but these dogs are close, you know? Yeah.

And she's dragging them so hard, like one of them even hits the curb and she just keeps pulling it until it comes back up. That's the lady. It's not great, but it's also like, it's not the worst you've seen with this kind of stuff. And I'm saying this to set up the fact that we really want to be making fun of Kyle Richards in this story. No, you're a dog hater. You're like, drag the dog up the curb. I saw that, I was like...

Can't see a dog being mistreated like that. Ben's like, fuck the dog. Get to Kyle. Fast forward to Kyle. So this lady is, she's sort of like going across the street with the dogs, sort of like pulling them because the dogs are being resistant. And Kyle and Teddy are walking like alongside. And the assistant who supposedly lost all the feelings in her legs when she heard the Dorit gossip or whatever that was. So we don't hear what Kyle says, but she says something to this lady and she points like, you shouldn't be doing that with your dog.

And then the footage cuts to the three of them on the sidewalk. And Kyle now has her phone out like a full-on Trishel. And she's like filming this woman. And this woman starts going off on Kyle. And when I tell you it was the most exhilarating piece of footage of 2025. I'm telling you it could have been one of you. Yeah. This lady was like, what the f***? Motherf***er, this is Lothary f***ing Park.

This woman is screaming. She takes off, like, she has, like, a scarf. She whips it off and throws it on the ground. And she does this thing. She takes her arm, like, and does a point up to the sky thing. And she sort of, like, lurches at Kyle. And Kyle goes and hides behind Teddy. Kyle hid behind the lady with five fucking cancerous brain tumors. Yes.

hid behind her. And it was amazing because this goes on for like 90 seconds and this woman, she just keeps lurching at Kyle and Kyle keeps like pivoting away and it's like... They're using Teddy as a human shield. They are. So yes, this woman was in the wrong for the way she treated the dogs but watching her terrorize Kyle Richards was kind of worth it and I recommend this to watch after our show.

Girl. They brought a cop over. The cop was like, lady, you know, he's dealt with her probably. She's like, no, fuck you. Fuck you. Car's holding Teddy. Then the lady went to a stoop and sat on the stoop because she got tired. And her ass was still like, fuck you, bitch. Put a ball gown on that lady and get her in here. Yeah. She was great. She did great work. Great, great work. All right. Well, previously on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Yes.

Piquet! You're not calling me back! I've left your babe. Piquet, you weren't in the kitchen this morning! I left out a bag of Pringles and a can of Pringles and we're still sitting there full! I've left your babe. Piquet, how do we have an entire tub of briars in the freezer, uneaten, Piquet? I've left your babe. I think Piquet has left me! Well, you know, Kyle is texting with Piquet.

You're texting my husband. Um, it was just jokes and memes. But why isn't he texting meme? He is. He's texting memes. No, I know he's texting you, but why isn't he texting meme? Hang in there. Stop being meme to me, Kyle. I can't take it. Well, ladies, I bought a beach house. I'm so proud of myself. Ladies, after all this meme-fighting,

I want us to just be sisters, you know? We're sisterhood. Let's just gather around, let's solve problems like sisters would. Together. We get mad, let's just stay calm. And then solve those problems together. She's drunk again! Shut your mouth, you poor person! Fight with someone whose wallet fits! Oh, you think you're bigger than her? I think my wallet is. How can your tiny, thick legs hold up such a big wallet? Shut your mouth, you cheese-lined wick wanker! Girls.

I have an announcement to make. I have a beach house. Bows, I'm really glad you're on the show. Girl. But you're standing up for Dorit like I did something wrong. It was only memes. Stop yelling at me. I'm being bullied. Hey, don't forget about me. I put wallpaper on my house and I also finally got a pizza party of chicken cheese. They say I'm mean to poor people.

You're welcome for your pizza party. Hey, guys, who's Chuck and why does he like cheese so much? Kyle, I know you're having difficulty understanding this large carb with calories melted on top of it. So let me just take this moment to say we all love you, Kyle. Well, we pretend to like you for TV purposes and we want you to be you. So if you want to be a lesbian, just be a lesbian. Um, you're not allowed to say lesbian.

If you want to be a dick-depriver, be a dick-depriver. We'll all stand right behind you. Stop saying lesbian! If you want to be a magic carpet rider, call yourself Aladdin. We'll support you. This is not very pro-LGBTQ questioning. Wait, one more thing. Ladies, I bought a house. I bought a house. Beach house. And scene. Stupid. All right, so we open with part two with the arrival of Halloween.

It's me, Jennifer Tilly, and my first Housewives reunion. She's just so great. I mean, like, this show has needed someone just impossibly rich who doesn't give a shit for so long. And she is just doing it for me. Just to edit that a little, this show has needed somebody who eats for a long time. Yeah.

We saw Jennifer Tilly eat more at this reunion than we've seen this cast eat in ten fucking years. Yeah, Lisa Rinna fainted somewhere watching this. So she comes in and she's like, hello, good day, good to see you. Do they have donuts here? I could really use some donuts. And they're like, well, there's some maple bars over there. My favorite.

So then, oh, by the way, I have to say, I watched this with the uncensored, uncut, or whatever, Peacock version, and wow, what a thrill. What a thrill to hear. When you hear these ladies curse, it like, ooh, I felt like my heart race, almost like watching a sturdy woman yell at Kyle Richards on the street. A sturdy woman. You can make us change the words, but they mean the same shit, I'll tell you that.

She wasn't that sturdy, actually, in retrospect. She was pretty sturdy, I don't know. There was some teetering and tottering, but, you know, she stayed up. I aspire to be that sturdy. So, yeah, so she comes in. She's after the maple bars, you know. And then we go to Garcelle's room. Now, Garcelle has just been put into a state of shock after being questioned. I don't know how she's made it on this show for five years, honestly, because she's like, they were just so cold, I...

I can't stay here. And then Sutton, someone crying. Sutton didn't even get anything. Sutton was the biggest asshole this year and she got nothing in that reunion. And she's crying. She's like, I want to go home. I want to go home. Well, she does live on a main street and that's like very difficult. It's a lot of stress with those cars going by at 25 miles per hour.

You can't trust any of them. Not a one of them. So then we see a flashback to 30 minutes earlier. And Kyle's like, you know, you guys, the two of you, you're mean girls. You're mean girls. Because Kyle was called a mean girl last year and has not been able to let go of it. And I love it. I love that she's like, you are. That's Kyle's best defense always. And she does it 20 times. But you are. You are. You are.

So then we go over to Kathy's dressing room where there's just some random peon just like massaging her feet. Just someone off the, this is probably a Starbucks barista. She's like, come with me. Come with me. So I'm just literally rubbing her feet there. And they're like. Did you guys notice who was doing her hair? It was Chris. Who Dorit never paid. Dun, dun, dun. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Missed opportunity. Get Chris out there. Yeah. Also, when you hear it uncensored, I'm sorry, honey. When you hear it uncensored, you realize what it... Ronnie just clasped my hand when he said that. When you hear the uncensored, you realize what a trash box Dorit really is. I mean, now listen, I know that you know that I'm the president of the hypocrisy club. I'm a hypocrite.

she is a trashy person. She is. Like, everything she says, like, well, motherfucking cunt face, goddamn palooza tongue. Listen, we've been saying cunt fitness for many years because we want to be respectful, but I have to tell you something. Listening to Dharit be like, she's a fucking cunt. I'm like, oh. I was like, damn. It was great. It was great.

So, sorry, I'm still taken aback. So Chris, we're back to Chris and Kathy. So Chris is like, so how are you feeling about today? Are you excited? And Kathy's like, well, yeah, I'm enjoying the chicken. It's very good. Yeah. No, no, are you excited about going out onto the stage? Do they have chicken? What's this conversation going? Could you hand me that olive oil?

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So now lunch break is over. FaceTime is over. And Andy's like, well, we're back with the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. Ha!

I'm Andy Cohen. We just took a lunch break. I checked on Grindr. A lot of likes today. New profile pic doing a lot of things for me. And, uh, Garcelle, by the way, was there something you wanted to say that was not about your beach house in Oxnard? Oh, wait, before you answer that, there is a gay person one foot away from me. Andy. Ooh.

Oh, I want everyone here at the Wilbur Theatre to know these may look like water bottles. These are actually crystals. And we put them here to have good energy because we suddenly became into that. I've never cheered harder for crystal to slap somebody. And there was actually a crystal on this show. Yeah.

So, Garcelle's like, well, what I wanted to say, I've taken half an hour to come up with this retort backstage. Kyle, it feels like you told me things off camera to shut me up. It's like, that's it? That's all you had? Get this woman a gay. Get her a gay. Why does she still have no gays backstage? Get rid of the twig and get some gays. Yeah. It's just a good way to live life, by the way. Just always have some gays backstage. Whatever backstage means to you, just have some gays. Yes.

Unless you're gay. We ain't the same to each other as we are to you. So Kyle's like, um, I told you off camera because it was like stuff that I couldn't say on camera because I'm very open and honest, so therefore there's stuff that has to be off camera. And I just was like trusting and sharing it with you as a test to see if you could be part of our group and you failed. So that was my way of getting to know you on a deeper level slash testing you. All right. Well, because it seems like you didn't really understand the question...

It seems like, Garcelle, you felt a certain way about her telling you some information off camera. Was it about who she, who shall not be named? Yes, it was. Is her name Forgan Schlade? Perhaps. Is it Borgen Maid? Perhaps. Is it a big lesbian who was on the show that we all saw and was ridiculous that we're doing this? Absolutely, Andy. Perhaps.

Well, for people at home, you know, they were saying, you know, well, you're on a reality show. You're supposed to tell us everything, Kyle. What about that? What do you want to say to that lady at home who you videotaped almost killing a dog on the street? Well, I do want to share everything in my life, which is why I'm proud to say I finally learned how to open up the other French door in my living room.

I mean, how many seasons did I cook salmon on this show? And you accuse me of not sharing. I let you see me run after my dogs episode after episode. That was vulnerable for me. But if it's going to hurt somebody I care about, I will not talk about it for a TV show. Unless it's Kim. Or Kathy. Or Denise Richards. Or Mauricio.

Or Storm, because he keeps knocking over the tiny pies in the tiny kitchen of the tiny creepy dollhouse in the backyard. Fuck that dog. But everybody else. If it's going to affect my daughters, I'm not going to talk about it, but I will shoot a very suggestive music video that will allude to it. Well, I don't see why it's not okay for you to just say, no, I'm not talking about it. Why do you have to be like, oh, but I'm sharing, I'm sharing. Oh, God.

Just say no. No, I'm not talking about it. That's Bose. I love Bose. Bose is like a judge. She should have just come out in like a sequined judge gown because it's like a judge show. Everything, every answer, just look to Bose because Bose is like, no, I don't believe you. Next case. Next. Do not piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, girl. Boop. Boop. Boop.

So then Kyle's like, well, I could have just said nothing and just zip my mouth. And like a lot of people do here. Oh, Kyle, don't even act like you are like the least secretive, least most honest person here. You are the one who rails people off the show and the music videos.

And then you don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry. No, I refuse. I reject. I reject Kyle Richards in this episode. Well, Dorit, you reject. Reject along. Let me hold for rejection from the audience. Thank you. I didn't know where I was going when I started my sentence, but you guys helped me get to the end. Dorit, you said that Kyle has two sets of rules. One for her and one for everybody else.

Um, excuse me. It's a set of rules for people who've been in Halloween and ones who have not been in Halloween. Thank you. Anyway, Dorit, you are alright. Like, Dorit's the one. Dorit's the one that acts different with Erica than she does with me. Kyle, that's not answering the question. Answer the question, Kyle. Yeah. And she's like, how so? It's just the same thing. Like, you're quick to forgive and let things brush off with Erica, but not for me. I'm like, are we watching the same show?

This is literally Kyle Richards talking about herself. She is trying to shovel everything that we've piled onto her onto everyone else, and it's not working with me. Well, I personally, Kyle, have let more things slide with you than I did letting things slide down PK's throat on our anniversary dinner. He's talking about Choco Tacos, babe.

And Erica's like, well, I know that PTSD coming here today because I thought, well, my God, somebody's going to come into my dressing room and show me a text. This is her clunky way of making herself relevant to this discussion. Remember when I saw a text last year? Yeah. Oh, your PTSD is coming next season after all four of your lawsuits come to fruition. My damn mother!

Well, apparently the other news today was that Erica did not show up at her Marco Marco thing. And because I think I didn't read the article. I only read the headline because I am American. And you know what? I follow Kyle Richards lead. I don't know how to read articles. But the implication that according to people on Twitter is that I guess her excuse was that she was using Teddy Mellencamp as an excuse for why she didn't show up at court. Oh, wow.

That's not true, because Teddy would have been at that court. You know, Teddy's messy. It doesn't matter what's going on with Teddy. She would have shown up. She'd be like, oh shit, Erica's going to court finally. I want to see. That's what the people on Twitter were saying. We'll have to look at the actual article. But, you know, I love spreading information I don't know about to a crowd full of people. Yeah, because that happened a while ago where she didn't show up, so now she's like in default or something. And you know who loves that? That Ronald Richards lawyer guy. Yeah. Yeah.

Thank God jerking off isn't illegal on Twitter because he's all over that. Like, oh, my gosh, she's in trouble again. Oh, my God.

So, Erika, in this case, in case you forgot, she's referring to the fact that last season at the reunion, Kyle was acting like she and Dorit were not even friends. They'd hung out twice after the show. And so, Dorit was pissed, and she showed Erika this text, which was like, Kyle was not texting with her for months and months, and then the night before the reunion, tried to control the narrative by sending her a text being like, we don't really have to talk about this at the reunion. Let's talk about it privately, you know? So, that is what this text message is all about. So, Dorit, do you stand by reading the text out loud?

I'll have a reunion. Love you. Well, when Coyle went publicly and said I exaggerated our friendship, there was no more rules. Rules off. I can do whatever I want. She's lucky I didn't take a goddamn chainsaw to him. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. The Pringle that broke PK's head. It just ends with that. It's just you on that list.

I mean, that was the Pringle that broke the camel's back. And that literally happened to us in Morocco one time. But I thought there's no more rules. And Kyle, I was only telling you that I had sent you a text message months before. No response. Two months. Three months. Text. Text. No response. Where is the response, you goddamn motherfucking little shitbags?

Yeah, it was my birthday. Like, I remember you texted me. That doesn't count, Dorit. How is Dorit acting like, and not to stand up for Kyle, but Dorit's like, I sent you a text and no response. I don't have to respond to your happy birthday. That was AI generated. Get the fuck out of here.

So she's like, well, you didn't respond. I texted you for your birthday. You didn't say anything. And Kyle's like, yeah, but that was right after Watch What Happens Live. And she's like, yes, but you were so upset about Watch What Happens Live. Were you really, Kyle? She's like, I was. And then we see this flashback of Dorit saying, I feel like the closer she got with Morgan, the more distant she became with me, which I don't think is really such a crazy thing to say. And it is, quote unquote, honest. And of course, Kyle then ices her out.

"Well, I mean, like, that really hurt my feelings because, like, that was a way of getting a dick at me. It was a dick. It was like a dick when you said I wasn't close to you because I was close to Morgan. Like, why don't you just call me a bulldark? Just say bulldark. Just say it." It's like, "What, Kyle?" The relation, the question was, "How has Kyle's friendship with Morgan affected your friendship with Kyle?" And I said, "Terribly. Big deal. It had nothing to do with lesbianism. Please. I don't want to get into people's religious beliefs."

Well, I guess I'm trying to look at this from a different perspective now. I knew Morgan pulling away from me had nothing to do with you, and I knew that wasn't the case. And that comment just bothered me because it just created another issue. But I do apologize because the audience is mad at me. Oh, Doreen!

Do you think the reason Kyle got mad about those comments is because she got in trouble with Morgan? Morgan's terrifying. Say you think that Morgan's terrifying, Dorit. Go ahead. She's a stalker. She's terrifying. Dorit, are you saying that Morgan's a Lifetime movie? Are you saying that? Lesbian Missing, coming soon.

Well, first of all, she is a captain, and any time Morgan's name is mentioned in any public forum or any BevMo, I'm sure Carl gets the brunt of it, because she's the one who introduced Morgan to all of this, as in people knowing who the hell she was. Well, you know, I was the one who introduced Morgan to this. You know, it just, like, caused her anxiety. Get the fuck over it. You're in your 30s. You don't get to use that. You don't get to show up at work and be like, I have anxiety. You also have work to do.

I'm kind of like the Jamie Lee Curtis to Morgan. Kind of like just shepherd her into fame and then I'll probably go on to win an Oscar someday. So I don't know. Like it's a unique position to be in. You know, when you, in my post bangs era, I realized that I have to carry this responsibility very heavily, Andy. I got my vision back after bangs, Andy. I'm like, yeah, Andy phrases. Andy goes, but. Andy was good here. She's a public singer.

What other fucking con... What if he was like, but she's a shower singer. I think that... Yeah, I mean, we all love her signature song. She actually can sing really well. As a public singer, let me just tell you this. How come no one wanted me to talk more on camera? I'm a singer too. What about me?

Did you see the other stuff about Erica where that singer who actually wrote Drip, who also seems very unstable, right? Is it just me? She does, though. Brooke Candy, I think, is her name. And she comes on. She's got her little ponytails, makeup, and piercings everywhere. And she's like, fucking Erica stole my song. That ain't her song. That's my song. I let her sing on it, that dumb bitch. And then she got to do an opening at a Lexus store and didn't even call me about it.

Wow. Wow. It was so good. It was a song I can live for because it's another like Erica type coming for Erica. Bring her on. Yeah. I want Sturdy Woman with the dogs and Brooke Candy on next year. I need them both on. Yeah. And I'd like to ask the Sturdy Woman, where's your song in the background of Anora? She was like, I was in Conclave. I was playing the organ.

Is there an organ in the, I still haven't seen Conclave. Can we confirm an organ in Conclave? I mean, there was organ music. They should have had an organist in Conclave. Because, you know, that would have been a neurotic queen back there. Like, girl, who are we going to vote for now, girl? Pat the Pope, Pat the Pope. So Andy's like, yeah, she's a public singer. And, you know, she performs music publicly.

And Kyle's like, guys, guys, everyone has a different perspective. And Dorit goes, but she became a household name. I'm like, okay, she's not Bonnie frickin' Raitt. Yeah. And so she's like, yeah, but you guys, she has music fans. That's totally different from housewives fandom. Yeah. Not that she's wrong, because you know we're terrifying people. You know every single one of us in here is terrifying. And I have a feeling we all started showing up

Especially them. Look at them. They're like, what? But you know those Morgan concerts now are just housewives to people like, Kyle's here. Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle's like, oh my God. Why is the audience facing away? Why is the audience facing away? Why is everybody looking towards the wings? Kyle's just like... Kyle's like, no, don't take a photo of me here at the concert. No, oh my God, don't. The last thing I want is to be recognized at the Morgan Wade concert. Oh no, don't, don't stop it. Meanwhile, you see Kyle's here. She's wearing a gay pride flag sitting in the middle of the stage. It's tucked under her Kimo Sabe hat.

But Andy's pissed. It's so much more fun being evil in public, I have to say. Yeah. Being evil together. Andy is, but you can see Andy's pissed because he's like, so you brought her on. She benefited entirely from this platform, which they love to say. And then she's just not going to shoot and not going to film. We're not going to have this. So he's going to grill her a little bit. And he's like, I was like, but Angel!

She has anxiety. He's like, yeah, she's also selling a lot more tickets because you got housewives bitches out there. So what do you have to say to that? She's like, ah. All right. Well, I guess since Garcelle isn't going to say it, I'll say it. Putting a music video out that's like the two of you as lovers. I mean, even John Hill and I don't do that. Not to say videos don't exist. Because you know they're on someone's phone. So he's like, that was totally in her hands, you know. So you can't have your...

Cake and eat it too. I was like, nice save. You're not allowed to talk about cake in front of these women, okay? Cake and lesbian, off limits. I know what you meant, sir. So Sutton goes, was there cake in that video?

And Dorit actually, Dorit does kind of try to bail out Kyle. She's like, well, you guys did say if you guys are going to talk, let's give them something to talk about. Bonnie Raitt reference again. Speaking of Bonnie Raitt. I can't make PK put down the Pringles. If he won't. I can't make you love me.

More than Pringles if you don't. Ladies and gentlemen, boy rave. Take my carbs away. All right, well, what happened was, like, I didn't get in trouble with Morgan, okay? Everyone needs to stop making Morgan sound like she's insane. She just has anxieties.

She says it's just like the icing on the cake chipping away at me, which I've never felt attacked by icing before. But of course Kyle feels attacked by cake. She's like the one person who's made cake the villain. My cake is coming for me. Yeah.

Alright, well, Dorit, you said many times you wanted Kyle, all you wanted from Kyle was more openness and honesty, and Kyle, you seemed to want more accountability from Dorit, so did you two get what you were looking for while you were squabbling just now? Well, I think I was definitely getting it until the whole picky text message ended. Motherfucking coontie coontie coontie!

And I'm sure we're going to talk about it. He's like, all right. But I feel like it's a work in progress. It's a work in progress with me and Coyle. He's like, all right, we're going to break. We'll be right back. Okay, welcome to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. This is Peacock. You don't have to watch that shit. Well, if Kyle and Dorit's friendship wasn't hanging by a thread, Kyle's text thread, thread and thread, follow, with PK revealed this.

aren't always what they meme. Ha! Ha! Or meme. Everyone's like, shut up, Garcelle. Shut up, Garcelle. You're not in this anymore. We hate you now. You're a meme girl.

So we watch a whole thing of Kyle basically saying, it's just texting memes, just like jokes and memes, jokes and memes, jokes and memes, jokes and memes, jokes and memes, jokes and memes, jokes and memes, jokes and memes, jokes and memes. Look at this paragraph. Look what I told him in this paragraph. I love you so much, PK. You're so much better than Dorit. She really smells sometimes, but you never do.

God, I hate that bitch. So glad we're talking. I'll continue to talk to you. Please keep talking about Dorit. I'll never tell her a thing you say. God, it's good talking to you. Should we do this over the phone? Let's FaceTime. I want to see your face. Hashtag jokes and memes. So Kyle is like, do you not see? I mean, just wonder. What do you see that? When you see that, when you tell Bose, she can fuck right off. Sorry, I had to rebound whoop after your whoop. She can fuck off. Girl. Girl. Whoop.

I'm British. She can fuck right off. If she thinks I'm going to show her the text, well, can you just wrap your head around how fucked up that is? Turn off Bose's alarm. First of all, let me back up, okay? That text to PK was not a random text on a Wednesday. Like, by the way, I'm thinking about you, okay? It was because you separated. So I was just, it wasn't like a normal day I was texting PK. It was at your most vulnerable time.

Kyle, we already went over this, Kyle. She goes, I'm not going to say it again. This is my turn to talk. I'm like, do not steal Heather Dubrow's line. My turn. Still me. She's like, you kept on saying, why didn't you tell me you guys texted and you and I weren't speaking? So because we were having like a little fight, I then of course started becoming a confidant to your now estranged husband. I think that's pretty normal. Bloop. Hold on, let me write you back. I'm talking to your bitch wife right now at the reunion. Call me later.

So Kyle's basically saying, look, it was like you guys announced that you guys were separating and I just sent him a text that was like, so sorry to hear this. It was like a nice text. That's what she said. And then she goes, we don't even communicate like that. Like, you know that. Cut to flashback to never before seen footage of Kyle sitting with Erica saying, I mean, I don't blindside Dorit with the right opportune moment about stuff about PK because I mean, PK tells me stuff, okay? I know a lot of stuff.

Fucking Kyle. So now they're talking about Chuck E. Cheese when Erica was like, all these bitches, nobody cares about me. Where's my fucking pizza party? Where was my pizza party? And her shrank, her temporary shrank, because you know that's only for filming. And her shrink was like, well, you know, that's not pizza party behavior. She's like, oh, fuck them.

The best thing they did this season was go to Chuck E. Cheese because Chuck E. Cheese gets referenced so many times this episode. Everything is like, you fucking bitch, when we were at Chuck E. Cheese, you didn't say that. It's like it just gets wedged in there. It's like, oh, you think you're so smart? Well, why were you being such a cut fitness at Chuck E. Cheese? Well, if you didn't want the tics talked about, why did you talk about the tics? Good, good, good.

Sue, I'm talking about when you read the text that Chuck E. Cheese bought the pot. She's like, I know what you're talking about. So Andy's like, okay, let me ask you this. After Chuck E. Cheese...

Kyle didn't end up reading you the text, right, Doreen? He says, well, she ended up if you saw Boze's wellness party because she didn't want to. And Boze said, bloop, whoop, girl. And it changed. It all changed.

At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics.

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.

My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

All right, let's get into some questions that I wrote that I'm going to pretend people on Twitter wrote. But before we do that, I just want to shame you a little bit, Kyle, by reminding you that on Watch What Happens Live, we had a very scientific poll, and we said, is Kyle Richards the worst? And we actually got 120% said yes. We said, would you prefer Kyle Richards or tariffs? And everyone chose tariffs.

What's worse, terrorism or Kyle Richards? You won! Congratulations! They're like, no, terrorism is too far. Kyle goes, well, of course they would say that. Kyle hates the audience. I love how much Kyle hates the audience, but she can't imagine a life where her only job is Amazon Live, so she still keeps coming back.

And so Andy's like, all right, well, is anyone here team Kyle in terms of the text that you heard before? Do you guys think that was okay? And they all just, someone in the audience is doing Kyle. So anyway, they all look down. They're like, uh, but of course, since it's this show, no one has the balls to be like, yeah, Kyle, you fucked up. They're all just like, well, we can't say anything because it's Kyle. So they look down and everything. Oh, yeah, bye.

I don't think it's that big of a fucking deal. I just think that, you know, they were just talking. You know, how do you talk to people? Who cares? It wasn't about Dorit. It was about the fucking show. Because Kyle Key is saying, like, I wasn't texting. I wasn't saying, like, I never shared anything to Dorit. I was saying I've never shared anything, meaning this, the show. Then why wouldn't you say the show? You didn't know that text was being aired. Ma'am.

The women let Kyle off the hook. Because Sutton suddenly goes, well, I mean, no one thought it was insidious. I'm like, you thought it was insidious. Who are you talking about? You made this storyline. Sutton. Yeah, it's literally like, so Sutton is, of course, you know, she's team Kyle these days, which I really hate for Sutton. Yeah. It's very sad. It's very sad. Real Main Street energy. And Garcelle's like, well, you said, I'll never say anything that you said.

That makes it feel like it was something else. Well, I think the thing that's sticking is that you said whether it was production or whatever else, there are secrets, and to me, that's what that sounded like, and I invented secrets so I know.

But how would you feel if you saw a text from Dorit to Mauricio saying that he can trust her because she's never repeated anything and won't. And she's like, well, not until your pizza place pizza pipe, motherfucker. Dorit's just going off like for no reason. Um, I would, yeah, I would totally feel the same way, yeah. And Dorit's like, but Kyle, can you still abide by girl code? Why didn't you abide by girl code? She's like, um... You are, you are, you are, you are.

Did somebody sing my song? Girl code, girl code. Where was your girl code when you read my text for millions of people to see? Your text that you were trying to blackmail her into being quiet at the reunion? Fuck off, that's not the same thing. There's...

That is such a shitty thing to do, that you're talking with her ex, and you're going to be like, well, that's just as bad as the time I texted her, and you read a text about me arranging lunch on the reunion without my consent. No. So Kyle wouldn't speak to Dorit, and then said she wasn't speaking to Dorit because they were never friends because Dorit didn't exercise. Which, by the way, is still my favorite fight ever. We couldn't be friends anymore because she doesn't like to exercise. Yes.

And then she read your text after you tried to be nice to her so she'd be nice to you on the reunion. That's not the same thing, Kyle. So Kyle's like, yeah, I was just so mad. It was all over. I just couldn't believe it. And, you know, now she's saying, put your phone down. Let me look at it. And Buzz is like, I said, block him. Let's be clear. I said, block PK. Block him. Do it now. Here's what it sounds like. Here's what I don't want to hear from your phone. And...

And Kyle, being a girl's girl and a friend to Dorit, says, well, I can't do that. I wouldn't block PK. PK's the best gossip on this show. PK knows everything on this show. And he's the most heartless person because he hates everybody. You know PK's text, they're like, what'd that bitch say today? I'm going to sue her. I'm going to threaten to sue her on the Insta.

So now Kyle, I mean, Kyle is so hilarious. She's like, I'm a girl's girl. Okay, I come from a family of women. Okay, my mother's a woman. Okay.

I have all daughters, okay? Faye Resnick, famous girl's girl, okay? I have, like, all daughters. I order Girl Scout cookies. We buy tampons. So she's like, yeah. And Dorit's like, well, you're my friend. And if we're as close as you suggest...

It depends on the day, but if we're that close, you don't do that, Coyle. You don't take someone's pique. And you're in your confessional saying, pique has been a better friend than Dorita, which she does say. Cut to the confessional. Well, to be honest, when Kyle makes that face, her eyes crossed, like her one wonky eye. It's like...

PK's been nicer to me than Dorit is. Think about that. So Kyle says, I mean, well, he checked in on me when we were separated and I was struggling and you and I weren't speaking and you didn't check in on me, which is actually a fair... She has a little point for Kyle. And Dorit goes, oh, and that makes him a better friend? Yes. Oh, just because he checked in on you while you were getting divorced and I didn't makes him a better friend? Yes.

What do you think about, I mean, I'm sure this is like episode 97,000, so I'm sure we've talked about this, but I think that if it was me in that position, I'd just be saying, but I'm friends with PK too. I'm going to still text him. Sorry. Yeah. What would you do? I mean, boo, it's not really girl code, but she hates Doreen anyway. I mean, if she's like, I don't like you anyway. I would do what Garcelle said. I was like, you know what? I was mad at you. I was talking shit with him with you, but like, you know, the truth is you're right. It was shitty of me. I am a girl's girl. And.

And, um, yeah, I won't do it again. And then it's done. But Kyle's like, no, I'm like not a mean girl. And I'm like a girl's girl, which is why all my daughters are trying to get out of the house every time I walk in. And like, so I, Portia always doesn't take my call when I try to tag along to sweet green. Um, yeah, no, you're right. Kyle just had to be, you know what Kyle needed to be open and honest. Yeah.

Yeah, or just be like, I'm friends with both of you. How do I work this out? I don't know, something. But stop lying. So then we see the flashback to Bozo's Wellness Day. I'm having a wellness day to be better than the other wellness day that that skinny idiot had. Let's come in. Yeah, because Dorit's like, Coyle, at that wellness event, you were positively undone, unglued, unwritten, unwell, unwashed, unfuckable. You know!

So then we see a clip of that and Dorit's like, "Coyle, what about the memes? What about?" I like when Dorit uses her little girl from England voice. She's like, "Coyle, what about the memes?" And Kyle's like, "Oh my God, you're asking me about memes? I can't do that!" "Coyle! Coyle! Coyle! Coyle, don't leave the wellness!" "Coyle, did Morgan Wade drive by? Why is she leaving?"

Just pretend that it's still gone because I'm leaving. Could you massage me right here? Just get this part right here, okay? So Kyle's like, um, I did also have, like, my version of reaching out to you and, like, trying to be there in time for you, and I tried to be there for you. Oh, my God, my crystal fell. That crystal is trying to run away, okay? That crystal has never felt so much negative energy. She's like, I'm holding this for positive. Stay here. Stay here. Oh, my God, I spilled my crystal juice. Damn it!

This is why I have to have four water bottles here. So they're all, they're like, uh-oh, that's bad juju. And Kyle's like, you know, you walked outside to get me and I was like, just doing my version of trying to reach out to you and like trying to be there for you. And then when you announced your separation to me by texting you, I was like trying to text you and everything. All right, hold on. God, Black Girl 97 is going to be out before this is done.

Jeez, I think that Dorit just wanted you to choose her. Has she been in any movies lately? No. I'm sorry, I can't do that. So Andy's like, uh, Bo's Bo said on the Hot Mike podcast, which is not a bike, Mike Shoehead, about discussing Teske. I don't know. I got overwhelmed. I got excited. Not Hot Mike. That's why it's not about him.

No one really listens to this, so let's show a picture of the host just to get people enticed. And it cuts to that guy, and he's like... Alex Baskin, who is not related to Robbins. He's always so grossed out. He's always like, so how did you feel when they were making fun of your memes? How did you feel about that?

So, Bose is like, well, I don't know if Kyle knew I thought she was a liar or that I think that she's a liar, but let's make that correct. The girl was lying. And Kyle is terrified of Bose, and I don't really blame her because Bose doesn't even have to stand up to, like, read your ass. She just sits there so calmly, you know, with her gavel. She's like, you're wrong. Because Bose is smart, Kyle is stupid. Bose can handle Kyle so easily, and Kyle's like, oh, well, okay. Okay.

Send this crystal over to Bo's. I just want to give her a gift. God, I love you, Bo's. You're doing great. You're doing great. So, you know, I've never been accused of being a liar. Liar. You're accused of being a liar every year. You know why? Because you lie a lot. So Bo's is like, no lies told. What? What? What was the lie? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

That's me passing, but all the way down the street. I never lie. I never do. Well, in the conversation that I was part of, you said that it was just jokes and memes that later came out. It was more than that. And from my perspective, which was all I was talking about, which is the better perspective I'd also like to add, there were omissions, and omissions equal lies. And Garcelle's like, well, you could have just said, you know what, I did talk shit about you, but I was mad at you. And Erica goes, yeah, but what if she didn't talk shit?

Like Erica. Erica's best on this show when she really doesn't have any drama and she can just sit back and be like, you're dumb. Sentence ugly. I got a wallpaper shipment coming tomorrow, so let's hurry this thing up. But I would never talk shit about Dorit, you know? I mean, like, okay, well, one time PK came over during the agency party and Erica goes, hey, don't say it now. You've kept it a secret for this long. What are you, a fucking idiot? I just said...

Yeah, but like, I mean, he came over and so we had a conversation, you know, and I was like, you know, why aren't we speaking? So I told him why we were speaking, like, you're the bitch, you know. I mean, it was no big deal. I said it in meme form. So Dorit's like, yes, you were talking shit. You were talking to my husband like he's on your side, trying to get him onto your side. Just like you were in Chuck E. Cheese trying to get these girls on your side. Direct quote.

Have you texted PK since? And she's like, um, only when Jagger was in the hospital. Well, and also, like, we would text back and forth about the White Lotus, so there was that, too. And we also share, like, a Starbucks account, so there's that. And he came over, I made him Sam, and I kind of burned it, so there was that. So, but really, just jokes and memes. Just jokes and memes. Well, here's the thing that bothers me about Coyote. You think PK is your friend, but guess what?

When you talk to PK, he tells me everything. Everything. I know every conversation you've ever had with PK.

All you have to do is hold a Frito above his head. He speaks every time. What more do you know that she hasn't told you that he's told you? Oh, well, just the things that she has reached out to him after Oceanside. She called him and told him that her and I got into a fight. And Erica goes, oh, my God.

So you went back, so Kyle Richards, you went back to your room in Oceanside after a fight and called PK. You called PK first. Yeah, I had to because, you know, like this whole thing came out about like the text message, the Viper room and all that stuff. And so I said, you know, there's a huge trauma. You know, I think it was with Mauricio, so that makes it okay. And, you know, like whatever. And she goes, oh my God.

Kyle is so obviously full of shit that it's like, it's not, I'm beyond actually mad. I just think it's hilarious that she thinks she's pulling the wool over anyone's eyes. And it's also annoying because it just keeps going in a circle because she won't answer, you know? And then every time they catch her, she's like, you are there, you are, you are. And so here we are still talking about this. So he's like, okay, I want to move on. Let's talk about memes. It's like, oh, no, no, no.

Well, okay, look, you guys aren't getting anywhere, so where do you guys take your friendship now? And Kyle's like, well, you know, you are important enough to, you know, make me want to put aside some time for you. I mean, not Michael Myers important, but, like, pretty important. Well, I hope that one day we can get together, just you, me, and our good friend Chuck.

No cameras. Just us and a bowl machine. Little bowl pit. We can lie there together, and I can say, I beat you a skee-ball, you stupid bitch. And you can apologize to me over a cardboard pizza pie that neither one of us eats. All right, well, we got nowhere with that, and it took up 45 minutes of this reunion, so let's bring out Jennifer Turing. I need some positive energy, I need some positive energy.

Hello, hello, hello, gorgeous lady. Kyle drops the crystal again because there's someone who is so wealthy in the room and the envy just has taken over her limbs. She's gone numb from jealousy. And she just goes up to Satin and is like, oh, hello, Satin. You look like a Disney princess that

Been dehydrated in a dehydrator and just sort of left out in the sun. It looks beautiful. All right. Well, I want to welcome one of our most decorated friends, the one and only Jennifer Rabbit. Oh, wow. It really makes me sound like I am covered with medals of valor.

And how are you, Jennifer Tilly? Are you happy to be at your first reunion? She's like, I'm prepared for anything that comes on me, Andy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Well, Jennifer Tilly basically sailed into this group on a Louis Vuitton boat. Cut to Colin being like... I know, Eric is like, I'm going to steal that shit. I'm going to steal that shit real good. There's about to be another robbery in this neighborhood, bitch. Did you notice how Andy said Louis Vuitton? He's like, well, Jennifer sailed into this group on a Louis Vuitton boat. Yeah, he did say that. That's so weird, right? I actually thought, am I just too poor to know how to say it?

So we get a whole Jennifer segment, which is truly amazing. It's one of the best montages they've ever put together. Yeah. And then... My favorite part of the whole show is when I get to walk in slow motion. That's one of my special skills. Well, you've been nominated for an Oscar. You're a fashion icon. You're a horror icon. You're way richer than Kyle Richards. Sorry, Kyle.

Yet your bio just says... You're even a better lesbian in Bound! What's this experience been like for you? And I love this because she's so cheery and nice. She goes, well, it's been actually very interesting because I used to get a lot of respect and people would come over and say, oh, Miss Tilly, I'm such a huge fan. And they would just like run away. But now they're like, scoot over, let's kiki. Which is rich person for like, what the fuck is going on with these people? Oh.

It's interesting because I find that more people are terrified of Kyle Richards than they ever were of Chucky. I mean, it's all glittery and glamorous and then there's screaming. It's very different to be in it. It's very, very real and he's like, well, you seem to enjoy, you know, you said, wow, this is a show in Oceanside and just started eating.

And they cut to that. She's like, oh, wow, they're really fighting. We got a whole bag of M&M's backstage we could have brought out for this. So, Doritos. So then Andy's asking about the Louis Vuitton bag, and he's like, so tell me about that bag. That was cool AF. Ha ha.

And she's like, oh, well, it was designed by Pharrell, the singer, and I have a special relationship with my Louis Vuitton person, and a lot of people have a drug dealer. I have a bag dealer, and she's calling me, and we're getting special edition shipment, and so it's like it's a very rare bag, so you have to know when they did it. They should put like a chyron up, where they put the chyron up and said, $33,000. I said, did I pay $33,000? It was a lot of money. Kyle Richards, so angry. Kyle's tongue was a-tonguing. She was like...

She's like, the only phone call I get is from Faye Resnick to say she got a coupon to Maggiano's Little Italy. So she's like, oh yeah, you know, I just, I have no idea. I was such a show off. That was rough.

She was wearing like ten fingers on each ring. Five bracelets. Like, girl, that new money. And I love that she knows it, too. She's just like, I accidentally got rich by fucking an ugly guy for a while and now I just wear it all over me. They point out that she's wearing one of the most important pieces of American jewelry ever. Kyle Richards is... She's like...

Well, I did... I won a candy necklace at Chuck E. Cheese.

So it's so special. Cole Porter commissioned it from Jeweler Flateau for his wife Linda Lee Porter who was a famous fashionista and so once it came up and I was too poor to buy it so then I got rich and then I bought it. I was rich. I went back in there and I said I'm rich now give me the Cole Porter piece bitch.

"Wow! So the Simpsons checks are more than seven figures a year, huh?" She's like, "I cannot say," as her bag falls over and ten diamonds fall out. She's the only one who has a non-CGI diamond in the opening credits. "I just brought mine from home."

They're all just going to be surrounding her next year trying to hold up her diamond. So Andy's like, I just want anyone getting ideas to know that you keep all of your jewelry at the bank because you're not a burglar or an idiot like Doreen. I was robbed too. Well, he did a pretty good job playing Switzerland. That's where my bank is. Yes. It's my favorite.

It's my favorite cheese, Andy. It's got so many holes. Sort of like Erica's alibi, right? About where she got the wallpaper. God, you guys are so... But on the after show, you did throw in a couple dicks. She's a little snarky.

It's what you get when your purse is so heavy all the time. Jennifer Tilly has my favorite kind of shade. When you're so rich, you don't even realize you're being shady. And they're talking about PK. She's like, oh, Dorit was saying that he's staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel. And I'm like, I don't know how we can afford it. That's an expensive hotel. I don't know how we can even afford the Holiday Inn either. Yeah.

All right, well, I want to do a preemptive apology. So, to read, I know that that must have upset you. And, you know, but it is very expensive. And I thought he was in a bungalow, which is $25,000 a night. It's about as much as my neck at the moment. So, I didn't think you could afford it. That's what I said. That was tacky of me. You should never criticize poor people in front of them. Right, Sutton? LAUGHTER

And so Dorit is pissed off, but because Jennifer is so wealthy and she's already pre-famous, she has to kiss her ass. So she's like, oh, hmm, well, I have adored you since the moment I met you, and I love the way you stand up for Sutton all the time. Hmm, you're a great addition to this group. Hmm.

I'm not mad at all that you shamed how much money PK has and I would never get mad at such things. Well, I didn't mean to impugn you. Can we pause for a... Can we look up that word? Impugn? Is that like puny? You're going to put us in a puny... Is she talking about my house? Does she know how to open French doors? Yes.

She just confused Dorit into agreeing with her. And so she's like, well, I'm sorry I went to the dark side. And Dorit goes, well, more like the witches of East Street. Cher, Michelle Pfeiffer. I don't know. That does not sound like the dark side to me. That's the side I've always wanted to be on. That's just the side this show needs. So she's like, well, I have a big mouth. And I didn't even know I said something bad until Garcelle said, exclaimed, whoa, whoa.

"Gastel said she had a house in Oxnard and I realized, oh that's right, not everyone is as wealthy as I am." So Andy's like, "Okay, we're gonna take a break now, I'm gonna go through these cards, see if there's any more lesbian comments."

And Jennifer just, she's got candy in her mouth and she just goes to Griselle. So, do you think that Sutton is on anxiety medication? What's wrong with Sutton? Because meanwhile, this should be Sutton's reunion. Dorit is running away with this reunion. She won't shut up. And Sutton's just sitting there with those little eyes squinting, like glimmering, her little cat eyes. So Jennifer says, do you think she's on medication? And Griselle goes, we're mic'd. Yeah.

She's like, got it. Don't know what that means, but I'll eat a loud chip into it. All right, we're back. And now I want to introduce my favorite Hilton sister, Kathy Hilton. Hi, hi, hi. Hello, everyone. Hi. Hi. Wow, got a real big kick out of you at Sutton's Fashion Show. And we see the footage of Kathy on the runway and the model being like, out of my way, bitch.

By the way, you look like you're floating. Oh, you can put me down, Chris. Put me down. Chris just comes out from under a caftan like, Okay, it was just fun. Pay me to read. Pay me. So how does it feel to be called Fashion Roadkill? And she goes, Oh, well, you know, I just thought I was just saying hi to Mrs. Girardi. And Erica's like, I'm Mrs. Girardi. But that's okay. Oh, well, then Mrs. Jane. I'm Miss Jane. Uh, what's your last name?

Who fucking even knows? It's up for sale at this point, am I right? Sandy's like, well, Kathy, you've been called Fashion Roadkill. She goes, I know. Kyle wouldn't speak to me for a week. It was just another title I stole from her. So, sorry, Kyle. Roadkill by Shahida and Alien 2. So, I love that we still never learned Erika Jayne's real last name. She's like, I'm not giving it up.

She'll give up her middle name first. Because she's like, well, what's your middle name? She's like, ah, it's real country. They're like, what is it? She's like, well, my mother's name is Renee, and my dad used to call her Nene, so I'm Erica Nae. Which, by the way, she's so embarrassed about it. You know that Nae sounds just like Jane, right? Like, Jane? Oh, that's true, yeah. She's like, oh, it's so embarrassing. It's a monosyllabic word that sounds like A. LAUGHTER

Well, Kathy, I noticed you have an uncanny ability to extract gossip from tea that these women, in a way that no one else seems to be able to. What's your secret? She's like, um... How do you get tea out of people? Have I done that on this show? Could you give me an example? And he's like, okay, okay, well, at lunch at your house you did a good job. And she's like, um...

I don't generally eat lunch at my house. Oh, for Christ's sake, can we roll a clip? Girl, you said you were Chinese. That was hysterical. So Kyle's like, am I Chinese? Am I a celebrity in China? Is there a tariff on me? Kyle's got a special skill finally for her resume. She's like, guys, my iOS has just been updated. I'm Chinese.

Well, here's what happened. I was at a couture show at the Max Mara. You know Max Mara. And someone's like, where was it? The castle? Yeah, it was in a castle. And Kyle goes, wait, did you do a test? Like, is it a psychic? Did you meet someone who did your DNA? She goes, no, it's a psychic. And Eric goes, it's a psychic from Venice. Cut.

Kyle's like, please help me understand this. So Andy's like, okay, so in Venice, Italy, you found out you're Asian. And by the way, they just kind of keep cutting quietly over to Jennifer, and Jennifer's looking like, um... So Kyle's like, are we Chinese? Are we not Chinese? I need to know. This is going to impact how I order food.

It's a totally different salmon preparation. I need to know. So Kathy's like, well, there was a lady there. And she said, what's her name? And I said, Kathy Elton. She said, what's her background? I said, rich. And then she said, I said, actually, I'm part northern Italian. And she asked me my birth name. And I told her what it is. She looked it up. And it turns out 25,000 years ago, I was Chinese. Yes.

Yeah, cut to the chase. In the year 3000, she was fucking Chinese. All right, let's get this bitch off the stage. So she's like, so then I got a book. And then he's like, you got a book? Where'd you look up a book? She goes, on my phone. Oh, so you Googled it.

Kathy goes, she definitely didn't know anything about me. No, no one has ever heard of Kathy Hilton or Hilton Properties ever before. Jennifer totally just goes, obviously. So, and he's like, yeah, so she said you were Asian. You know, in Beverly Hills, the women are usually quite filtered, but you came right out and said Mauricio aged badly. And you also said BK looked 56 a decade ago. Oh.

She's like, what? I meant it as a compliment. You also thought his name was PJ. You thought he was a tree from a cartoon. And you also have no idea where you are at this very moment. Well, you know, it was a compliment about PJ because, you know, when I met him, he was just fat. He was a fat person. And then, you know, he lost weight. And so the next time I saw him, he looked like, you know, when babies come out of your surrogate and they were like really just small and...

and kind of bald. That's what I meant. Yeah. PJ, it's like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the butter. That's PK. Why is PJ eating himself? You know, these are the questions Chinese people ask. In bed. Fucking Kathy. She just confounds everybody. Everybody's just like, what the fuck is this?

How long does he have to stay out here? She's like, well, you know, I just thought he looked more... Older? Yes, more older. When he had the weight on him, he looked more older and he looked more sophisticated. I don't think sophisticated is a word that's ever been used with PK at any size, age, length, or height. So Erica was asked on What Would Happen Live, the biggest controversy starter in the world.

who in this group is most guilty of sucking up to Kathy Hilton? And Erica's like, Sutton Strack, fucking bitch. Followed closely by Garcelle. So then we come back and Andy asks if they suck up to Kathy and she's like, no. And Garcelle says, okay, can we ask Erica? Erica, I thought about this on backstage and I just wanted to ask you this. Based on what?

Based on my motherfucking opinion, I was asked a shady question, I gave a shady answer, it's watching up his lives. Shady's fun, right? It was shady. It was fun. It was just fun. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's not like I sat around thinking about it. Who kisses Kathy's ass the most? I just said it. Fuck it. I'll say whatever the fuck I want. How about that? I would like to say something in my defense. Kathy and I are very good friends. We talk as friends. I do not kiss her butt. I just do exactly what she says.

And then I apologize when she gets upset. Right, Kathy? Tell them the part I apologize. She apologized. And I said, que? When she apologized again, I said, por favor, necesito mas informacion. I'm telling you, none of these people are bilingual, Andy.

Yeah, but didn't you, like, faint last year when Kathy came onto the set? Well, yeah, well, you know what? I fainted because my wallet was so big and it knocked me over. And I just had a terrible case of bronchitis and I needed to go to the hospital and Kathy came out and I had this hallucination that my mom was following her and I said, no way, no way, not on, not going home.

Yeah. So basically what happened, Sutton got in a fight with Kathy. Well, not a fight, but she got yelled at because she wouldn't take sides. Like, Kathy was versus... Who was it? I mean, she was versus Kyle, but who was it? Erica, right? It was...

Was Rinna? I forgot. This show wipes my brain. I don't know how the host is even doing it tonight. So she's like, you're not on my side, then fuck you! Damn, I want to hear that side of Kathy, you know, when she tells somebody else. I know, I do want to see Kathy losing her mind, because we all know it's there, because everyone talks about it, and she's like, well, you know, I did say some choice words. I'm ready. I think we're all ready. I don't care what she says. We'll make it a safe space for her to lose her fucking mind.

Well, it didn't take long for Sutton's ribbon ceremony about sisterhood to unravel into weaponized wallets and watermelon cocktails. And Buzz goes, mmm.

Let's take a look. Sutton, what was your goal? We see this whole thing. The Sutton disaster. Motherfucker. It's like 10 minutes of Sutton just being crazy, which I loved. This reunion needs more Sutton. And listen, I'm not against telling people they can't take drugs. You know me. I'm like, take more drugs. Most of us need it. We're Americans. If you're not medicated right now, you don't believe in self-care. Do yourself a favor. We've got a whole plethora. Take something.

So I'm never going to tell somebody to not take drugs. But they should not allow Sutton to take drugs. What the fuck is Sutton doing? She's like a dead fish up here. She's just like, Sutton, yell at somebody. You're not here to look pretty.

Well, Sutton, what was your goal in doing that ceremony? Well, I just felt like we were all so disjointed and I wanted to bring us back together in, like, this way. Like, let's have... If we have an... Let's get an angry moment, we can apologize and still remain friends. Unless I'm the one who gets angry, which I'll probably do right after I do that ceremony, which is what I did do, in fact. Then I won't apologize and I'll be angry the rest of the season. All right. Well, Hema from Royd says...

Dorit called someone a c-word, but when Sutton said her misdirected anger was too low, okay. So, Garcelle, do you think Bo's overreacted to Sutton's comment? And Garcelle's like, yes. Yes, I do. Well, how is it overreacting? You said the words to hurt. She goes, no, I didn't. I did not say it with an intent to hurt.

How dare you? You chose your words and that was the intention. I think the challenge I'm having with these conversations is that if you can't take accountability for your action, you gotta say, and I said the thing. You gotta just say, I said this thing, I meant it, and you can forget it. But instead, you say, well, she was yelling at everyone. She was, oh, God, I'm yelling at people, you fucking monstrous shit brain.

Well, sisterhood, sharing difficult moments in your life. You know, the first time Dorit opened up to the group about Jagger, suddenly you kind of abruptly interrupted her. And then we see, you know, Dorit being like, guys, the other day I put up something on Instagram about us divorcing. And the next day Jagger said, are you getting divorced? And I said, how did you find out about that?

"Children don't know how to read the gram. Everybody knows that." Speaking of which, I then bought some gram crackers and PK walked right in the door and I said, "See, Daddy's home." I like when they showed this duri... They showed this cliff of duri going, "Come in! You're a fucking cunt!" And that's it. "Um, hey, you just said... you just called me a cunt." And I'm like, "No, I didn't! I called you a fucking cunt!"

A stupid one at that too. So Dorit's going on and on and on and on and then Sutton, who as we learn has been told by the producers to interrupt her, she goes...

whale on that no we gotta go gongo and gongo i'm gongo so then uh Sutton he's like well don't you think it was rude when Dorit was telling that whole sad story about Jagger learning to read the internet that you interrupted for the ladies to go to Garcelle's new house Garcelle do you have something to say

I have a house. I built a house. I'm very proud of it. No. So it's like, well, we were there for a long time, and production said, Sutton, go down there and tell them it's time to leave. So I did. So I did. What do you want me to do about it? But why could you have just said, excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt. We have to get on the road. Okay, well, I'm sorry that I didn't know how to do that, Dorit. I thought you were Miss Manners. I thought you were Lady Manorville. Oh, forget it. I'm not Miss Manners. I'm not Miss Manners. I'm not Miss Manners. Don't do that. You are.

You are. Don't do that. You are. I'm going to go. You're a country man or lady. Well, what have you said? I know it's terribly awkward. Because Dorit never shuts the fuck up. Okay. All we need to do is watch this reunion. It has been Dorit. Just say we got to go. That's what you do with people like Dorit. You go, oh, we got to go. We got to go. Finish this in the car. Finish it in the car. You can still cry in the car.

Cinder is like, the person, the person that was in this season who was so vicious, you know, with the beady stare that you want to really go low. Where is she? She didn't come today. She didn't come today, Sutton. Where is she? Are you in there? Well, where's the person?

calls everyone the C-word. Oh, you cunts. She's right here. She's right here. She is like, I'm here. I'm here. I showed up. Well, that brings us to Sutton's wallet comment that Garcelle couldn't even support. Wow. It was actually a pretty light dig, but on this cast, it was the worst thing anyone could have ever said. Garcelle, I hear you have a monologue to present about this. All right.

I thought it was a terrible, terrible comment. I was like, I was shocked. Look at me, hashtag girls girl. And then what about her confessions after that? She tripled down, she tripled down, she five-tupled, six-tupled, cunt-tippled down. Did you say cunt-tippled down? I thought it was disgusting. It was absolutely disgusting, Andy.

You know, we talked about it the other night and, you know, she said to me, like, I'm not proud of that. And I said, you shouldn't be. Like, you're talking about Kyle's bangs, aren't you? Yeah. Isn't that worth discussing? But then you did a confessional and you called me an alcoholic. It's like, well, the only thing your wallet bought you was a house and not a date. I could have said that. She goes, well, you did say that and that wouldn't ask either. Well, do you think you deserved it? Do you think you deserved it? And meanwhile...

Jennifer Tilly fully unwrapping food and just, you know. And then Dorit gives my favorite line where she goes, well, you don't exactly live like the Queen of Sheba. You live on a fucking main road. Big words from somebody who's literally about to live on one. I know. It's bad.

But also, have you guys ever driven through Bel Air? Like, have you ever gone on, like, a tour? There is no main road that's embarrassing to live on in Bel Air. I'll tell you that. You go up the main roads, and they're all gated homes that you can't even see into. Yeah. You're not going to find a sturdy lady walking three dogs on those roads. It's no Encino. I know.

There's no caveman there. So wait, now we're main road in Bel Air shaming? This is good. This is good. This is why people watch this show. Well, I wouldn't want to live on a fucking main road. I'm quite happy where I am. My life is full, full of love. Your closet ain't. We saw that about two weeks ago and it was empty.

There's a hell of a lot more to a big bank account. A hell of a lot more, Sutton. But you have to be nicer in order to get love. You are a loveless, loveless person. You don't have to be nice to get love. Look at me. That's right. You could also be a terrible tennis player. So Sutton's like, Dorit, I do not need you to tell me there is more to life than a big bank account. Of course I know that. What's more to life is an even bigger bank account. What?

Well, you're not superior to anyone. You certainly behave like it. And you know what? You're used to buying people and gifts to tote around. But Sutton, there's more. You brought us purses? Oh, thank you, Sutton.

Weren't you the one who wanted to take her purse? Yes. Because we find out today in the news, I guess from clips from next week, we find out Sutton gives them all $1,500 purses. And you know Dorit didn't turn that down. Like, oh, thank you. I'll take it. That's like getting trinkets at the dollar store for Jennifer. She's like, oh, cute. And Sutton's like, well, who did I buy, Dorit? Name one person. And Erica's like...

What in the world are you talking about that I buy people who have I tried to buy? Oh, here she comes. Be my little sultan. Here she comes. I'm coming in the mountain when she comes. Here she comes.

You just stop that. You stop that. You stop that right now. Yeah, she is just like pushing her. Sutton is drugged. I think Sutton is. She's tranquilized. And she's like, I will not kill this bitch. Do not kill this bitch. Do not call her poor. Do not call her poor. No skank of America jokes today. I will keep it. So finally she gets there and she's like, good job, bully. And meanwhile, this cuts to Jennifer and she's like, this is terrible.

Just how we all were. And that was Beverly Hills. Thank you so much for being with us tonight, Boston. We love you all. Love you all. Good night. Welcome to the club. Everybody say my name. I'm insane. Everywhere I go, call on my head. Don't know me. You're welcome to blow me. Pretend not to love me. Don't think you're above. Hate me. Relaxed.

Batch.

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