#2827 RHOA S1609: Mind Your P’s and Bailey-Q’s
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Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crap, and it's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Welcome to your work week. How are you? Well, thank you. So glad to be here. It's my cookie day. Brought some cookies. Cookies. You know, Melissa Gorga randomly got a full-fledged article in the New York Times this weekend about her sprinkler cookies.

which is shocking because those sprinkler cookies came out like 10 years after the fact. And now the article is dropping like 10 months after the fact. So I don't know. I guess people don't care about Tommy. That's when it comes to Melissa Gorga and her cookies.

but yeah she got those she got a full full spread which is major to get in the new york times um but you know the cookies are pretty good i have to say i had some and they're they're shockingly good but that we're not here to talk about melissa gorga today we are here because it is

A day to recap Real Housewives of Atlanta. And of course, before we dive into that, this is like our Texas week. Welcome to Texas week on crappins. And it's Texas week because I'm going to Texas. I'm joining my work husband, Ronnie, in Texas. And we are putting on a show called...

in Austin this Friday at Emo's where we will recap the most recent episode of Summer House and then the next day we are driving to Dallas so you know there will be a Ben and Ronnie on the Road bonus episode to come and in Dallas we are going to the Texas Theater and we are recapping the classic Vanderpump Rules episode Sex, Lies, and Audio Tips Season 6 Episode 5 and

So that will be a great time. And then I have some bonus Texas, which is that on Wednesday, I'm going to see the Cowboy Carter tour. So I'm going to see Beyonce. So I'll be sort of like spiritually in Houston on Wednesday, even though I'll be in Los Angeles. So it's a big Texas week for me. I'm very excited. I'm jealous. You're going to go see the B. I'm going to see my it's my first ever Beyonce concert, too. Oddly enough, I was going to try to see the last one, but I got covid.

But also, please join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash watch for crappins to get access to bonus episodes like our upcoming one or all the ones in the past that we've done that have been wonderful. And also you can watch us with crappins on demand. So don't just listen. You can watch. Oh, and by the way, our tickets go to watch crappins.com to get links to our tickets and

And I think that's all the major stuff. Oh, of course, duh. We just added two new shows in case you missed it last week. We added a Los Angeles show and a Seattle show. The Seattle show is June 12th.

I think it's safe to say, I don't want to overstep, but I think it's safe to say the night before. Well, I don't know. I'm not gonna say anything, but June 12th is our Seattle show at the Neptune. And then June 19th is our Los Angeles show. So come join us for those. Those are gonna be great times. And that will be, we are going to,

and our big tour our own cowboy carter tour the mountain hysteria tour in los angeles on the 19th so come join us it'll be great it's going to be some great times y'all all right let's get into real housewives of atlanta or season 16 episode 9 blame it on the henny blame it on the henny um you know what i'm going to blame it on i'm going to blame it on the bailey queue because i have something to say i thought long and hard about this

you know i think cynthia's been doing a very nice job in the role of friend of the season i've been really enjoying her in that position so they resurrected the bailey q for this episode which is the bailey q is kind of like one of those like repeat events that we get that no one's like particularly excited about it's not like going to the berkshires but like you're like okay and they sort of like push it on us enough that when she says i'm doing the bailey q you think oh wow it's the bailey q episode and then you realize do i care about the bailey q episode and i think here

here's my thought i think lake bailey is is beautiful it's a beautiful house it's a wonderful piece of real estate i think it's too small for the bailey q i don't think that kenya i mean i don't think that um cynthia's house can sustain the bailey cube because they're always cramped around that sofa they've got no place to put their plates and she just has this she always has like wet meats a lot of barbecue sauce and no one everyone has to hold in their laps i'm surprised no one stains all their dresses it's just

The logistics don't work out for me, and I think it's time that we move on from the Bailey Cube because of that. I like the tightness of it because it means more mess, and that's what you need. Like, whenever they try to walk off, they can't walk off, which is hilarious. They're like, "I'm out of here!" They can just walk to the kitchen counter, and then they have to walk back. So I actually like it, and actually, I'm appreciating the Lake Bailey a lot more these days. I love the views, I love the size.

just because it's like a more comfortable size to have to live in. So I like that. Here's where I think the problem is and maybe is where it's bothering you is this wasn't a messy Bailey cue. Normally she pulls out the game like, okay, now we're going to ask questions and then the questions are messy and then everybody fights.

But this time she was like, since it's Juneteenth, let's talk about black history. Girl, this is Real Housewives of Atlanta. It's not that black history is not important. I want to people I'm going to see people fighting. I don't want they're not going to fight over Juneteenth quizzes. OK, we see fights.

I also feel like there's something very chaotic to me about the fact that they all cram in on the sofa. And because she always invites so many people, like people that aren't even on the show, and they all have to sit on the sofa. But then there's like this strange kind of like gaggle of men that got crammed into the kitchen because they're not allowed to be on camera, basically, or not allowed to be in the scene. So I always feel like there's just like so much activity and people are jammed in there. And it just feels humid in there. And I just feel...

find it to be an uncomfortable place to look at. Like, I think she just, if she's gonna host an event like this, she's gonna have to upgrade her house or invite fewer people. It's time to make tough decisions.

Tough decisions by Ben Mandelker. Get rid of your house. If you want to keep this job, get an extra living room. That's my official note on this. Okay, so speaking of Cynthia, oddly enough, Cynthia opens up the show. They've been experimenting with different ways to do the previouslys on Atlanta. I mean, I kind of feel like, can we just get some normal previouslys? Can we just like... I don't need there to be a skit when we do previouslys. I just give us...

Previously on Atlanta and show us some scenes. I don't like last last week was a real low with that that song and now Cynthia's doing a whole thing, which is a little bit better where she's like, oh, I had to recap what happened in Nashville. So I had to go talk to everyone to find out what really happened in a trip. It's a little bit weird. And I took my butt to bed early. So now I've got to find out what happened. So then we just do a chat chat chat chat chat chat chat.

Child. It's a Cynthia investigation. So she is going to lunch with everybody to figure out just where it all went wrong. So we start with lunch with Kelly and Shamia. And so Kelly is like, well, we were just upstairs getting our beauty rest because we stayed up till 5 a.m. And Shamia is like, we had a stinking good time.

Okay, stop. Stop singing. Let me tell you what happened at 4 a.m. I think Shamia would wear me out. I never saw this side of Shamia before, but I think Shamia constantly breaking into song, basically being like an eternal drama club kid.

it's you've already got me i mean how many of us do you need you can only really have one of us in your life at one time you know drama yeah but you're a different kind you're like i feel like the sassy gay version you're not even that sassy but i think the gay the gay the gay theater queen vibe is one thing but it's supposed to say you're not even that gay but you're not even that much of a queen you just took away but there's there's just something there's like the anne hathaway you're still highly penis loving but i'm gonna take that sassy

because I think you're like aware versus you know you sort of get that sense that every time Shamia breaks into song she's doing like a micro audition and and I don't think that you're doing that you're trying to you're you're usually singing in pursuit of being funny no I like what happens at auditions with me nothing at some point you just stop auditioning yeah I just feel like Shamia is sort of doing these tiny little auditions everywhere and I'm I'm

I don't know. They really set her up to become the glue of this season. And I'm surprised that they literally not the glue. She said at the beginning, I'm the glue. I'm the glue of this season. So she set herself up to be the glue. You know what? I don't need glue. And here's the things that I don't like. Things that you have to glue. Okay. I learned that from Craft Night. You know, things that constantly need to be glued can get out of the way. I don't need it. It gets all over your fingers. Glue's not fun. It's made out of dead horse hoofs.

it's she's like the paperclip of the season she definitely brings things together but easily you know disposed of and falls apart and so like I yeah I I don't think that she's as gluey as I think that she has claimed because I don't find her to be in the center of much and I think like I feel like she's sort of if anything she's kind of fallen a little bit to the wayside I guess maybe her storyline about how her child got an ear infection and she started to cry about it wasn't as compelling as she thought it was

Well, I think they're doing that whole let's build the show around Shamia thing. And so she's just really trying to give the star energy. It's like, I'm the center. I have all the friends. I'm the glue. I'm the singer. I've got the biggest house. And she does have all of that. But she doesn't really have main character energy. You know, it's like the glue is usually not the main character. But, you know, I mean, I like Shamia. OK. Yeah, we like her. There needs to be kind of main characters in Housewives. And I don't think right now we've got any.

I think Angela's probably coming close, but she's kind of sidelined by all the other women, so that makes it hard. But she's the closest, but I still don't think we have one. But, you know, it is kind of a first season of a reboot. So, you know, you've got to wait to see what cream rises to the top.

well i think that like uh shamia like her trajectory was looked like it was going up up up and that's kind of plateaued a bit but still like i mean look i've always always enjoyed shamia even in her in old versions of atlanta uh i just think that like what i thought she was gonna be this season has plateaued however i do think that angela is kind of the breakout star and the breakout main character of this season and i think the producers thought it was gonna be

Portia. But if you look online, it's actually amazing how so many people are really coming down on Portia. And like really kind of universally, everyone seems to really love Angela. So I think that like maybe part of it is because Angela has found herself in that coveted role of

kind of being as much of like quote unquote the victim as one could be on this season well which is funny actually because brit would be the victim but um angela somehow is the one who's like sort of semi-ostracized and that always works well with the audience well she's also got the best stories you know the family is real weird no one can kind of piece together what's going on did her husband impregnate somebody i mean there's a lot to go on so you know we'd love a good mystery we like when things fall apart on these shows so she's got potential

She does. And she also has that vibe of like, you are all children, right? Like she kind of has that vibe of I'm married to a very successful former NBA player. And I don't know why you guys are trying to come for me because I'll destroy each and every one of you one by one. And I have no problem doing it. Yeah. She has the most entertaining husband. She's got the most entertaining extra family members kind of lying around extra stories. So yeah, so far she's, and she's not afraid of anybody.

which is really helpful. So we skipped to Angela's version and Angela's like, well, you know, I'm hearing voices outside my window and they're calling me big bird. And then we go back to lunch with Kelly and Shamia and they're saying, well, you know, Brit's shade was that the husband cheated and he had this outside baby on his slate. And Cynthia's like, oh, wait a minute. What? What?

And so then Portia said, and then we cut back to Angela. She goes, she said, why should fuck Charles? That's what Portia said. I should fuck Charles. And Cynthia's like, oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. We need a Juneteenth and a quiz on black history.

That will fix everything. So we see the flashbacks and we see Portia saying, so you came down here to tell me you heard me say Charles's name? And Angela's saying to Portia, well, I hear that you're talking about me, so I put my pajamas on and said, let's address this. So then Cynthia's like, Portia, you said something about how you'd have sex with Charles. And she's like, oh,

I actually don't even remember saying that, but later in the episode, I will tell you specifically why I said it and what the reasoning was in the full context, but I don't remember saying it.

are we going to blame it on the Henny? She's like, wait a minute. It's Hennessy saved me that night. Cause I was about to blow that bitch all the way up. Okay. But I wouldn't fuck anybody's husband. Okay. Again, I swear. So, uh, we all know that she just said, Oh really? She's so afraid of, you know, me fucking husbands. Well, maybe I should fuck her husband then see how she likes that, which I don't think is really that bad in the end. I wish she'd just say that. Cause we don't need multiple episodes on this.

Yeah, I actually think that this was probably said like as like a joke. And I do think this is being it has been blown up. So then we go back to Kelly and Shamia talking and Shamia's like, well, when we got back, I gave her a minute and I texted her. And then I guess then I guess Angela sent her a big text. But then we go back to Oh, no, she goes, Oh, did Shamia send Angela text, right? And Angela sent her a big long text, correct? Yes.

then yeah angela sends this big long text after witnessing the disrespect for behavior behavior towards me and my husband there's nothing to be said dot dot dot and then she speaks she's like there's nothing to be said and here's 10 pages of text and they keep fast forwarding the reading of it she's like and it's clear that our morals and values don't align morals values

It's all good, though. Be blessed. They're like, wow. So Cynthia's like, well, the only thing that's open after midnight is legs, jail, and the ER. And that's why you need to take your ass to bed early. I'm like, well, no, because if you didn't take yourself to bed early, you wouldn't have to go around and have all these conversations with people. You'd know all the information. I say stay awake and get it firsthand. Yeah.

So we have the Bailey Q announced and there's a prophet coming, which I know Cynthia thinks is some big deal, but we've already had Drew do that in a previous season, Cynthia. Okay. We had the prophet, prophet lot. That's right. It's a lot of Christians with prophets coming. I don't, I didn't even feel like that's like spoken against in the Bible, but I don't know. I haven't, I haven't renewed my membership in a while.

i didn't know the prophets were like a thing like i didn't know this was like an alternative to our standard psychics and tarot card readers and and things like that it's more christian healers

Yeah, I didn't know about this. So I didn't know that like there was a whole, you can go down the profit route. I thought profits, there hasn't been a profit in like a few thousand years. Well, there haven't been. That's why it's weird that they're bringing them back and the profits all have great makeup now, which I don't think original profits like had really good makeup and hair. I think they were always just in like sheet robes and like had scrabbly hair and they like climbed down from a mountain somewhere where they were like writing tablets. Like who the fuck does that? Like get a pen, you know?

Yeah. I like that. Like there's just because you're a prophet doesn't mean you can't dress well. So I, I like this new brand. Yeah. So Atlanta is at least like upping the profit game. So yeah, now we have profits and this one's hilarious. This one's kind of hilarious. So yeah,

Now we go to a birthday party for a dog and it's Cha-Cha, Kelly's dog. It's her birthday party. And we see lots of, you know, drag queen dogs gathering for this party. - Yes, that's a good way to put it. Drag dogs. - And I feel so bad for this dog. Not only because it's died and jeweled and all of that stuff, but because the dog isn't able to enjoy its own party. It's like, who's raising this dog? Fucking Bella Hadid's mom, what was her name?

Yolanda? Yolanda, the almond mom, is like, "You can have half an almond and that is all. You want a birthday cake? You can lick whatever icing comes off of the candle and that is all you got for your birthday." And that is how this dog is. There's a dog chasing Frisbees and jumping up, and this dog just wants to play. And she's like, "No, you will sit on your little mat, Cha-Cha." And she brings a mat because God forbid Cha-Cha step on the grass and Cha-Cha has to stay within this little... I just feel bad for the dog.

It's not. This dog's not enjoying its life. Gypsy Cha-Cha Blanchard. That's what she should be named. It's just like, you stay here, Cha-Cha. We're going to protect you. Cha-Cha is ill right now. Cha-Cha has pneumonia and bone cancer and bow cancer. She's got cancer in her dog bow. Cha-Cha, would you like to say anything?

She's still so young. Yeah, it is kind of funny that they got like a, they got like a dog to do, like a professional dog trick dog, you know, that like catches Frisbees quickly and stuff like that. And making all the other dogs watch it. I was like, was this to shame the dogs? Be like, you could be doing this. Yeah, that's like torturing the dogs.

That's like for a human party, you getting, you being like, it's a pizza party. Okay, Ronnie, we're going to have one guy just eat pizza in front of you and you can't eat it. Like what the fuck kind of party is this for me? I don't have birthday parties. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

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I just think that ChaCha's dye job is so bad. So I understand like why ChaCha has bright and vivid colors because that way ChaCha can never be stolen and go away anonymously. Unless of course the person who steals ChaCha just gives ChaCha, I don't know, a shower.

But I still think that like as die, like if you're going to do a vibrant die job, just do a good one like this. This just looks sad. I feel like this is what it must have looked like in 1984 and 1985 when people tried to kind of like copy Cyndi Lauper or something like that. And they sort of like emerge from their bathrooms with just these hideous, hideous like.

like purple or orange hair and their parents are like, what the fuck are you doing to yourself? Yeah. And I guess it's so that the dog is recognizable if it's kidnapped or is it because it's too ugly to be kidnapped? Because I would explain a lot of my childhood haircuts. I mean, I would like to ask my mom, like, why would you give me haircuts like that as a child? Well, you weren't kidnapped, were you? Yeah.

And I had been to buy a haircut. Did you have a signature haircut? Did your mom get with it? Like, okay. No kidnapper. Even the kidnappers didn't want you. I'd leave you out in front, in front of the grocery store and that little nickel horsey, you put a nickel in, you'd bounce up and down the horsey in a parking lot. I just leave you out there and nobody took you. Cause you were ugly. God made you ugly enough.

that nobody wanted you. It's also, I think, statistically harder to abduct a child when they're bouncing around so much on those horses. It's like, how do I get my hands on them? Can I get a less active child?

So Kelly is talking about this dog party and she's like, oh, my dog is fabulous. She gets the hair salon for nine hours and gets her hair colored and gets a massage and her lashes put on. Okay, that's too much. You cannot glue lashes to a dog, but she does. Gets her jewels put onto her fur and sometimes she gets her nails done and it costs over $1,000. Girl, pay your rent and get your clothes off rolling racks in one of your kids' rooms.

You know what I mean? That's when you have extra money. When you have money to do your dogs for $1,000, your clothes are not on rolling racks and you've paid your rent for your store, for the waffle empire. Yeah, this almost makes her jump the line ahead of Brit in terms of a candidate for first person to have financial legal woes from this new cast. Although Brit is hard to beat.

Cause she definitely has like MLM written all over her MLM fraud, but I guess we'll see. But I think usually when someone's doing this kind of ostentatious display of, of spending money, um, usually it's to cover up, uh, in my mind, uh,

Terrible spending habits. Or it actually is a terrible spending habit. So then. It's a symptom of. Thank you. Period. Symptom of bad. Yeah. Symptom of bad spending habits. So then we unfortunately get to hear Britt's voice next. My mouth ain't cha-cha. Well, our ladies are fabulous. They live a little fabulous life. Please stop talking. Please. Whatever you do. Listen. I'm not saying the whole season's a bust. But you're starting to kill me with Britt. I can't listen to that. I can't listen to it.

And people are complaining to us like that's the most annoying thing you guys do on this podcast I have really or through that. Yes, and I get it Listen, that's the that's the only impression we can even do of this new cast and it's the most annoying thing I've ever fucking heard so get rid of her and then you get rid of us So you guys start a change org? Position to get rid of that lady or at least get some straws implanted in her nose so she can breathe again Because I can't take it. It hurts my head

Her septum has deviated so much it's almost been made illegal. I think that...

Also, I think it's time for us to—we need to politely also bring an end to this mimosa agenda. We have to stop. Mimosa's not gonna happen. There are a lot of dogs on Bravo. Some dogs happen, some dogs don't. Mimosa's not gonna happen. At least Cha-Cha's in the running, right? 'Cause Cha-Cha has the pink and the jewels and the fake lashes. Like, Cha-Cha's making—I mean, yeah, Cha-Cha's making an effort. Mimosa's just like a random dog, okay?

Mimosa, I mean, what's funny about Mimosa, Mimosa is really cute. Mimosa almost looks like a lamb. Mimosa is like one of those dogs, is like a fake lamb dog. But like, you know, she brings Mimosa to the party and Mimosa has like a little black ribbon on. I'm like, who is Mimosa mourning right now? And I'm like, there's just nothing about Mimosa that seems like that Mimosa should even be called Mimosa. If Mimosa was literally just called lamb,

You know, I have a thing about pets being named after other animals, but I think in this case, I would be okay with calling mimosa lamb because mimosa is so lamby. But I just, I feel like every episode it's like, mimosa. I agree with you. And also when I think of the word mimosa, I just think of waste of a glass.

because you're pouring orange juice in a champagne like just give me the champagne okay if you want me to have orange juice with it put it on the side but don't charge me 15 for a half a glass of champagne so i just feel like mimosas wasting my time in general so

And also, mimosa connotes brunch. You think of a Sunday being fabulous, casual, fun, drinking, bottomless mimosas. It's going to be a wonderful day. And then every time you see this poor dog, it's just sitting there like a lamby lump. It's like a little sad lamb. There's nothing about this dog that speaks of brunch. I mean, Cha-Cha speaks of brunch. Cha-Cha should be called mimosa, if anything, not Cha-Cha.

But like mimosa, yeah, it's just not happening. Sorry. Sorry. We're voting mimosa out. So take her with you, Brit. You're also voted out. So we find out that Brit's mom is moving in with her, which is good because she has that unstable sister who, you know, is going to come make everything about herself, which she does. That's what she does in this episode. I would not speak to the sister. I'm telling you that right now. That sister's too much. You know, everything that you do, that sister's like, well, what about me?

I mean, starts crying. Get the fuck out of here. We're adults. I don't have to take this shit. Go home. That's just, I mean, look, we should have known her. Her name is Cher and she looks like Snooki. So, you know, she's going to be dramatic and she certainly is. And she is. So we find out that the mom is moving into Britt's house and she's selling her house. And so this is at least going to be funny. And then we see a flashback to Britt chatting with her mom and Angela. And, um,

The mom's like, well, I'll move into your house for a little while. But then when you have that baby, I'm moving out. Bye. She's like, no, mom. I want you to be here. Free baby here. She's like, I'm retired. I already raised three monsters. I'm not going to ruin another one. So once that baby's here, I'm out. Raise your own monster.

So Cher is also going to come help them pack, as we mentioned. And Britt's saying, well, you know, when I launched my insurance agency, my sisters worked for me. But then I sold the company and threw a wedge salad between my sisters and I. And Gorgonzola smells. So then now the people are supportive of her again because she went through some drama with Kenya and her hoo-ha picks or whatever was out there, her blowjob picks.

so um she just wants everybody to get along guys yeah yeah the sisters have come back together after after an insurance agency nearly tore them asunder which is still like loki very funny i'm sorry i mean you know it's sad when sisters are

you know, when family hates each other. But the fact that it was like the sale of an insurance company that like drove a wedge between the three of them is like low key, very, very funny to me. But luckily revenge porn can solve everything and it has brought them all together. So things are on the up and up. - That's all you need. Just release some blow drop picks.

So then we go to Portia's house and she's going to her mother's house, actually. And she's with PJ and Lauren. And Portia's like, well, you know, it's been really rough because I haven't been the best mom. I've been in a bad mood. So I got her a dog.

yeah she she this was such an unceremonious arrival of a new dog into bravo it was like oh by the way like here um i brought us some takeout and mom i picked you up some starbucks and polar here's a dog a new dog that's already better than mimosa a living breathing thing yeah this dog is better than mimosa because it's been already that's one of those fancy dogs and then it's named after a good thing peanut butter which is good yeah

So I just love Portia's whole thing. Like, I really don't have the energy to devote to my child's needs right now. So I just got her a dog. So hopefully that'll help. Yeah, because she basically is like...

Pilar's getting to the age where she's wondering about having another sibling and she's like, "I don't know where the sibling's gonna come from." So, well, they always say dogs need other dogs, so why not a child with a dog? That'll work, right? I like that she said, "She wants another sibling and I don't know where to buy one." So she gets her a dog instead. So now they're talking about the divorce date with Simon and, you know, of course her family's always over supportive of Portia. Portia never does anything wrong.

And she's like, well, you know, then I got a phone call about Dennis shooting with this girl, Drew. And they're like, oh, my God, how could Drew do this to you? How are you supposed to navigate with this poor shot? Poor, poor shot.

You know, I'm literally sitting here and I'm like about to blow my cap because in that moment I felt betrayed because I was like, damn. So not only did he do it, I mean, here she is downstairs and I got to deal with it. As we see in the scenes for later on this season, Portia will be shooting a scene with Ralph.

So, normally I would say she's such a hypocrite, but actually the stance I'm going to take is, that's how you do it. You don't get mad, you get even. So it's like, okay, you're going to film with Dennis, I will film with Ralph. Well, thanks for getting with the program, Portia. That's, you know, welcome back.

Yeah. So then she tells them about the trip and how she was in trouble for all this stuff she doesn't even remember saying. And now Angela's all pissed at her and she just doesn't get it. She doesn't even remember. So this heifer hears me and she comes downstairs and she keeps going on about her husband and

And I said, "I'll do something to your husband." I mean, I don't remember saying it, but then she said, "Who called me big bird?" - And I'm like, "Oh my God, Portia, you called her big bird?" She goes, "Come on, it's my birthday. When do I get to be petty?"

- Yeah, apparently I said some stuff or whatever. I mean, I don't even remember. I'm telling you, but I'm telling you, I did not call her a big bird. - And Lauren's like, "Who's big bird?" She's like, "I mean, I called her big bird. I mean, let me have my moment, but when do I get to be petty? Okay, I wanna be petty." - It's like, when have you not been petty, Portia? - When did you take a break?

Okay, so now we go over to another doctor meeting with Shamia. Shamia's, it's not a doctor meeting. This is a surrogate meeting. So now she gets to meet the surrogate. And so she goes to see Shadina and we bring in the surrogate and it's Asha. So she's like, well, I just want to see if we vibe.

Yeah, I want to see if Asha breaks out into song also. Are we going to have to compete over roles? Because it's not going to fly with me. What are you going to sit there and play sack boy together? Just stick the egg in. Like, what do you need from me? I'm an oven. Do I need to sit? Do you need to sit here and talk to the cookies while they're being made? Just leave me out of it. Give me my money. I'll push your baby out. How about that? I would be the worst surrogate.

if you called me while I was pregnant with your baby and you're like, how are you feeling? I'd be like, fuck off. I'd be feeling a lot better if there was ice cream here right now that you sent through Uber Eats. Yeah. Asha, she comes in, she seems like a perfectly nice person and they basically FaceTime, but Shamia does ask if Asha's dating someone and she's like, no, but apparently if Asha does start to date someone, they're like, you have to tell us because my baby is going to be in you and I can't

share i can't share that space with some guys i can't have some random peen poking my baby's head yeah no occupancy okay it's taken no vacancy i should say um so anyway it just seems like a nice person and they facetime with gerald and he's like hi and shamia is just talking i honestly don't care i really don't care about her i don't care so then we go over to angela's house

Angela's like, "My husband is a former New York State basketball player and he works out every day." So they're working out and she's talking about how hard he is on her while she's working out. Yeah. He's like, "Slower, deeper, do it better. You're not good at this, are you? Have you ever done a pushup before in your life? Lift that better. Lift it better."

Okay. Okay. Turn it around. Okay. Other side. Other side. Charles, what are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I was talking to the corn on the cob I'm making over here. I'm making about 45 of them for no good reason. You can keep doing your squats. He's like balsamic, oil, salt. What even are those moves? I'm sorry. I'm doing the Brussels sprouts for 500 people that aren't coming over.

So she's like, "So let me tell you about Nashville. So Portia was upset that I invited Drew." And she goes, "Well, how did you invite someone to Nashville?"

Why would you invite someone to someone else's trip? And she's like, listen, I wanted Portia and Drew to kind of get along and my intentions were good. And that's what you would do. He's like, no, I don't do shit like that. I don't even care if I get along with you. What do I care if people get along? And so she's like, he loves to play devil's advocate so much that I look to him to get the opposing side. It's like, you know what the haters are going to say? Tell me, Charles. And he'll tell me worse than the haters do.

like you're supposed to be on my side every time she's like you're wrong why would you yeah what a stupid thing to say glue your wig on jesus christ go fix your hair go fix your makeup he's always looking at her with like a little rise smile like what did you get yourself into just to be on this show yeah he's just constantly amused by her

So she's like, well, Portia had a dinner party. And so Portia had Brit talking for her. And so we see that clip. And he's like, well, I mean, let Portia speak for herself. I mean, doesn't she? She's got a big mouth, right? Anyway, I was just like, Portia, why did you take that lady's husband? It's like, why?

Well, how do you know that she took him? Because the streets know that she took him and I needed something to say, cause I didn't have anything to say at that dinner and nothing was happening. And the producer said I had to start a fight. So I just kind of took over Britt's line and where Kelly's line and did my best. Yeah, this was just a stupid move on her part. And Charles like, well, that's the worst person to talk to the streets.

And she's like, well, then she told me to kiss her ass and goes, okay, well, you were wrong for asking her that. Why would you do that? And she's like, oh, okay. Be on Porsche side. You buckled up. And he's like, I don't wear belts. And she goes, okay, well, you need to, if you're going to be on her side. Okay. Anyway, now they're, I heard them talking about you, Charles, that you're messing with a girl in New York. And he's just smiling. And she goes, wait, are you even on the Porsche train about this one? He goes, she doesn't know me. What do I care?

Well, you just, you're just so easy to fuck. Anybody can just fuck Charles. She can fuck you. He goes, wow. No, she can't. People say anything. Yeah. I get it. I'm in my sixties. I got a helicopter. That thing. So long to get anything going. Why is everybody acting like it's the easiest thing? It might be easy for them. It's not easy for me.

Well, I said, Portia, I hear you talking about me and my husband and you've got anything to say. And she politely got her ass the fuck up out of there because it got real, real fast. I'm about to go to war, Charles. He's like, and I'm about to go to war.

and this macaroni and cheese, okay? And the serving bowl. I'm about to make 45 pounds of it. - Yeah, it's like showing the West side of Chicago, baby. She's like, "I will." So then we go back to the Portia and family scene. And she's like, "Yeah, you know, I'm gonna get an au pair now. So that's good because, you know, this is hard, you know, Ballora needs more. So I got her a dog and an au pair." So Dennis comes over

And Miss Diane's like, "Well, an au pair, this feels like an arranged marriage, Portia." I'm getting a wife. Ha ha ha ha ha. So then Portia says, "It's really important to me that Dennis and I have a good, cohesive co-parenting relationship right now. And that's like my priority. And that's like, that's what I'm doing." And then Dennis joins in the confession. "Hey, what are you doing here, Dennis?"

So he's like, "Let me punch in. It's time for me to punch in." He's like, "Okay, you're punched in."

So basically, by the way, she's decided that she's not going to be upset about Dennis and Drew anymore. Maybe because she decided I'm just assuming that now she's going to go after Angela instead of Drew. I don't know. But she's decided to drop the whole thing. Yeah. Nothing came after that. Nothing came of that storyline. So she's like, OK, I'm going to try and fuck with somebody else now. So they're going to get an au pair from South Africa and she's going to come over. Now, I cannot wait.

Until this lady, we meet her and she's very sweet, very young, you know, and she's like, hello, I'm here to be your partner. And I was like, oh my God, look at her now. And then imagine her in a couple seasons with a ball gown as a housewife. Fuck Dennis. Yes.

Take over this show. I'm rooting for you, au pair. I'm rooting. I want her to go all the way. I want her to go the distance like Lisa Barlow. So meanwhile, Dennis doesn't even understand what an au pair is. He's like, what's an au pair? Au pair? Au pair? Well, I don't even know what an au pair is. And she's like, the au pair is going to stay with you at the house. She's going to live there. He's like, wait.

A young chick is just going to live in my house. And you're the one making this happen. Yeah. So she comes over and they've gotten her a welcome basket and balloons and a cake. And she's like, OK, yeah, we just want you to feel welcome. So, yeah, it doesn't make me feel welcome if you say that.

We want you to feel special, so we got you a cake. Now sit down and here's your hours. So Dennis is like, "Okay, so what do you like to do when you're not working? Does it involve hot dogs?" He goes, "Well, I like to read, and I also have some au pair, two au pair friends that are here." They're like, "Oh, that's cool. You have friends. Great." Their names are Britt and Kelly. He's like, "Wait a minute.

I like that answer, too, because what if they were like, hey, what do you do when you're not working? She's like, Coke. How about you? Hard drugs.

So they sent her away. They send Lauren away to train her. And she talks about how Dennis is an honorary house husband, but she's going to move on from this Drew thing because she just wants a good relationship with Dennis and Dennis needs to have a good relationship with peanut butter and peanut butter needs to have a good relationship with Phoebe. And if all this works, maybe Pilar will be happy. Yeah. And then, and so, but Portia is still going to roast him a little bit about filming with Drew. And he's like, I wasn't filming. I just, I,

I came to a session, cameras just happened to be there, which is filming with Drew. And then he said, but then he says, I respect how you feel. Drew's not even signed to me anymore. And now there's nothing else to talk about because you obviously scared her. So this was kind of like a casual and I feel like important detail that was glossed over. So Dennis and Drew are suddenly not working together anymore. Maybe after she got, she signed with that major company.

record record label known as sign here for a rev share plan. Maybe she dropped Dennis after that. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I don't know that I believe it, though.

i don't believe it either so then um porsche's like well you guys need to take accountability and uh and especially if she tried to sleep with you because that's what you said and he's like what i didn't say that she's uh-huh look and he goes please i've never even been in front of this lady and so porsche pulls out her phone and she's like okay well you said well all you had to do was say yeah so that means she tried you he's like uh no

Well, I'm not the one hitting that. She goes, who is then? He goes, not me. She's like, okay, so are you going to do a breakup song too about your relationship? Whatever. I'm done with it. I'm done with it. Okay. Now we're friends, brother. Right? We're friends. Right? And she tries to like shake his hand. He's like, I'm not going out like that. No. Yeah. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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So now we go over to Britt and she's packing up her mom's house with her mom, her grandma and her sister Cher. So Britt's like, "Growing up in the ED household, my dad was like always the light and the glue and I miss my family being close and I feel like ever since my dad's been gone, we haven't been as close and packing up my mom's house, it does bring back a bunch of memories." And she's just talking about how, you know, he built this house and whatever and so this is like a special place.

And now they're packing it all up. Yeah. And Cher's really upset about it. It's like, how could you move out of here? Mother, you're so selfish. This is my child. It's like, oh, God, Jesus. How could you throw that rolling pin away, mother? This is my, oh. Cher's doing the most for the cameras, you know.

And they're teasing her and they're like, "Mom's ready to hoe now." And so they're just kind of going through stuff. And then Britt talks about how Sharon, her mom, are always at each other's neck, which is what is happening right now. Because Angela, she's like, "How dare you? How dare you throw daddy's stuff away?" And she goes, "Well, how dare your daddy leave me?" And she goes, "He left you 'cause he died!" And she's like, "Exactly. He started it. So we're packing up his shit."

The mom's like, because they're all, they're all, you know, Cher is being, Cher and Britt are very upset, but the mom's like, I want to get out of this place. I don't want to live. Clearly she doesn't want to live in this place with all these memories. Right. She literally says, because now you guys can't come home. Meaning I don't have to do. She's like, every time something goes wrong in one of your lives, you move back in here. Most likely Cher, let's face it. Cause Cher is a Cher-erist. She's an emotional Cher-erist.

And so the mom's like, "I'm gonna move into a place so tiny that nobody can come move in. Okay? I'm old, and I don't want to have to deal with your shit anymore." So they're fighting and they're bickering and they're going back and forth. And finally, Gladys, the grandmother, she has a cane and she's like, "I'm the grandmother and you all have got to stop it!" I love Gladys. She's like, "I'm sick of all these people. Shut up and turn on Matlock." Yeah. So then they FaceTime their sister, Tierra.

And Tierra does not even want to be on the phone with these people. She's like, wow, wish I could be there today. But I do think about you guys. And Cher's like, even me? You even love me? Why don't you answer my calls then? Because Cher...

You're a drain on literally everybody in this family. I'm sorry that I have to be I'm sorry that some random on the internet has to tell you You're a brat and you're draining the fuck out of your family. Okay? That's why nobody wants to call you and that's why your mom is moving so you can stop moving in with her fix yourself Yeah, and then Tierra's like well, we all deal with grief differently, which is why I haven't been calling just I get it But I've been dealing with grief a long time and it's not very

So then they're crying and Britt's like, "Okay, Tiara, okay. It's not fair that you shot me out like this!" So Britt's telling us about how, um, Cher really took her father's death the hardest and she's been really having a hard time and she's just not ready to move forward. And Tiara's like, "Okay, love you all. Oh, I think I'm breaking up. Okay. Bye. Bye, bye, bye." Yeah, she's like,

We have bad reception. It's like, it's FaceTime, we can see you doing that. She's like, "Bye, I'm going down the stairs." We see you, you're climbing. Grief, grief over here, deal with some grief, bye! She's like, "I'm stuck behind a wall, I can no longer hear you. Must go." And so finally, Grandmother Gladys goes, "You know what? You have a good God upstairs. He takes care of everything. That's why you all have to stop fussing and acting like fools all the time. Now come on.

Let's put on some Kathy bits. Yeah. And they're like, that's right. Grandma. She was like, can I move in with you? Grandma? No, fuck. No, no. So then, um, the Bailey Q she's like, I usually do my Bailey cues for the 4th of July, but now it's Juneteenth and it's national holiday. So now we're going to do it for Juneteenth. So, um, Cynthia, uh,

It's raining. So she's like, oh, and I'm bringing a prophet, by the way. So Britt's first there because she's in the new cast. And that's what newbies always show up first. So then other people come and we meet Dr. Natasha. Intuitive life strategist. I would love to know where she got her advanced degree from. And she's like, okay. Intuition University. Where the tuition is.

is what you're actually learning. So, um, uh, so Dr. Natasha sits down with the bridge because she's like, she's like a very, um, this profit is kind of, I won't, sassy is not the right word. It's kind of like, she's like your girlfriend. She's like, I'm a profit, but I'm also your girlfriend. She's like, okay, it's you. So you've been choosing other people for like so long. And now it's time to choose yourself, especially when it comes down to your business, if that makes sense. And there's a new business venture too. I was like,

About as vague of a prophecy as could be. And Britt's like, oh, my God. She read my life in that moment. And she's starting a new business, guys, because she's putting a pause on everything agency and insurance, probably because she's being investigated. I mean, why?

I mean, investigated for whatever. Jake from State Farm did not appreciate the rumors going around his brand. Yeah. She's like, not into dick pic insurance anymore. So now I'm doing my new business, which is, of course, bare and naked. Yeah. I'm already bare and naked. Like, I could do that for free.

yeah shapewear she's gonna do shapewear even though there's nothing in her bio that um indicates that she would be um like that she's not i'm not gonna say qualified but like there's there's nothing in her bio that's like i have passing interest in fashion or shapewear things like that although to be fair same could be said for really so many people who go into shapewear so i guess i can't really hold her feet to the fire too much

but um she's doing the classic insurance to shapewear pivot and um this is what's keeping her forward I would like to see an original Real Housewives business you know I'm sick of the same old things like shapewear I'm gonna do some like wig pieces I'm gonna do candles how about like scents phone mounts or like a phone charger I don't know like Tupperware Tupperware would be a fun throwback

Or like, why does everyone have to be an entrepreneur? You know? Phone cards. What about, I've decided to focus on my new passion, which is, I'm going to be a waitress at a nice restaurant. Sloth hunting. Sloth hunting. I'm going to be a zookeeper. Yeah, something. I mean, give me something new. Fucking shapewear. I'm just starting makeup line. I'm going to use a moisturizer. Do something new. I'm bored.

I feel like it's also so pigeonholing, not that that's even a verb, but it's kind of like, it kind of is like cementing this idea that if you're like a woman who wants to have a job or business, like you have to just slot yourself into some of these like feminine categories and that's that. And I just feel like the world of employment and also entrepreneurship for women is so much bigger than Bravo, uh,

And it's just kind of like the same thing every single time. Well, this is stuff that they can sell online to housewives audiences, right? I think that's super important. Like you need to be able to talk about it on TV and have people order it. Everyone's chasing this skinny girl thing.

And they're hoping to get like... Dildos is the best one. Candy's Dildo MLM is my favorite one. Because that's like unique, you know? How dare you when we live in a universe where Sonya's toaster oven is a thing. That never came to fruition though, so it doesn't count. But it was a great... But...

- It was a disruptor. - It was. - So you're saying like, what's my thing? Well, I'd make things in the toaster. I'm gonna come out with a toaster oven. It was pretty good. - That's usually what Aldi's are. It's like, okay.

I almost wonder, is there like a consult? Is there like a business consultant that works with Bravo where they say, okay, we want to give you an entrepreneurial storyline this season. Here are your options and whichever one you choose, we will connect you with someone who's going to help you make this come to fruition over the course of the season. I almost wonder if they do that because it's always the same shit. Can we get it? Like how about someone's like, I want to open up a business that sells sailboats, you

You know, or like hot dogs. Yeah, just anything. Anything new that's boring. So Natasha, Dr. Natasha, sorry, Dr. Natasha is saying, okay, Kelly, you need to focus on new beginnings, Kelly. Everything new for you, right? Because, you know, you went through a bad depression after your marriage ended, right? Your marriage ended. Yeah, I know about that. I know about that. And what did he try to do with the car? He did that to be vindictive. That's why he sold it. And she's like, oh, no.

No one knew about him selling the G-Wagon he bought me for our 10-year wedding anniversary. Nobody knew that. Only Brit. You're a psychic. You're a G-Wagon psychic. I know. What a specific use for psychic abilities. I have a prophecy. A prophecy that's more of a question. Why did he try to sell your G-Wagon? Well, you're supposed to answer that. You're the prophet. I think he took it back to the place that you leased it from because he was no longer going to be paying for that.

is what I think. 'Cause who pays for a G-Wagon outright? Nobody. - Yeah, exactly. - Aren't those like a quarter of a million dollars? I'm not paying for that. You nuts.

By the way, did the prophet actually have any prophecies? The prophet was just basically flexing that she knew something about these people. And really, she didn't even do that. She just sort of sprung a bunch of traps that they could fall into and divulge information to her. Yeah, and I like that she's like a psychic who knows about your finances. She's like, Ronnie, you're behind on your gem membership that you never go to. Yeah.

Now, why did you switch from LA Fitness to 24-Hour Fitness? I didn't tell anyone. I just did that this week. Ronnie, your credit score went down two points again this month. Are we going to take care of this? Okay, let's make sure. Question. I noticed that you just refilled your Starbucks card $20. Why not go a full $50? Just wondering. Honestly,

How much is fucking Starbucks? I feel like I'm refilling that card every two days. It's so expensive. They're like, well, you're out of a card. I just filled that up with $25. What are you charging for this shit these days? My God, it's milk in a cup. It's all I have is chocolate milk. Well, I get a two-pump mocha with no ice. So it's basically like chocolate milk for adults. I'm like, why is that?

over 50 I'm not doing that anymore I'm making it from home now you can suck it okay come up with that Starbucks psychic the Prophet has a question for you Ronnie why do you do two pumps instead of one pump it's like wow you're a very specific profit you really you really it comes home in on us so that's my way of showing that I'm like making an effort so I'm putting it out with the universe by the way I think

This is just a note for all these coffee shops that do pumps like Dunkin' and Starbucks and others. When you want to do modifications, could you at least put something in the app that shows what the default pump level is? Because sometimes I'll be like, I want to add two pumps to something. And then you go and it says it's three pumps. And I'm like, so does that mean I want a total of five pumps? Is that too much? I'm always sort of unsure about the pump situation. Oh, yeah. That's something you have to know about.

Yeah, I wish they would clarify like what I need to like. I need to have like some pump regulation and some pump standardizing. That way I can know my adjustments. Yeah. Well, that's I think that's a fair request. I don't think you're going to get it. No, I won't. Not I think it's not this economy. Not this economy. With that with tariffs and your nastiness. I'd buy that for one damn cotton pick in second, y'all's.

So with that being said, we now move to Shamia arriving and Shamia is like, first of all, she has a full like she has a whole like sort of it's not like a necklace. I don't know what you would call that kind of like brass gold thing that sort of goes around the neck and around sort of the clavicle thing.

But she is, she has some African garb. She has the headdress and everything. And she's like, first of all, you're not going to tell me I'm invited to a Juneteenth barbecue and I'm not going to wear my African clothes. I mean, do you know my husband is Kenyan? Dashiki me! So she's in full Dashiki mode. And Cynthia's like, okay, Tosh, I want you to feel Angela's energy and give her some insights. So Dr. Natasha is basically like, okay,

Question. Why do you still have your Blockbuster card? Wow, she really knew me. She knows me.

I think this, when was she wearing the big earrings? Was that when she was in the, um, Shamia, uh, at this moment right now, she may had enormous earrings on. They're like, they're like drums. I mean, they're, well, they're not round, but they're gigantic. And then at one point she had one turned around and I was like, that's embarrassing. It was like, there are they ping pong battles? This is too much. And then what if, what if somebody asks you something and you shake your head and emphatically to deny it, you're going to

poke your goddamn eye out and then you're going to be in the hospital again. And then we're going to have another scene of Shamia at a doctor. Okay. Shamia's earrings were like clean energy solutions. I swear, like they were, they were powering a turbine somewhere with the amount of times they were twirling and catching wind and

So, anyway, Dr. Natasha is giving a prophecy to Angela, and she's like, well, something that's going on in terms of an individual, and this could be a spouse, y'all need a vacation or something, because they got comfortable. The comfort has to stop, okay? And TMI, you know, us women, we get consumed with work and life and all that stuff, and sometimes we lose our sexual commitment. And Angela's like,

Okay, so where's my phone? Let me go to Victoria's Secret real quick. Okay, and another thing, Victoria's Secret, they owe you a discount. You've been shopping there a lot. It's like, wow, you know my shopping history.

So then we go to Angela and she's like, "Well, let me see. You're too comfortable. I see something about Brussels sprouts, a kitchen's never cleaned."

And you bought six stamps from the post office last week. She's like, oh, my God, that's really good. So Angela's like, why? Let's listen. Of course, there's issues in my marriage. We've been married for 10 years and he's in his 60s or something. So, yeah. Do you want to have to do the helicopter every time you try and climb on top of someone? His love language is cleaning the kitchen. I'll take it.

So then Dr. Natasha, she did so well with her G-Wagon strike. She hit gold with that one when she did the, "Why'd you sell your car?" And then Kelly's like, "Oh my God, that happened." So she tries it a second time. "Girl, don't go back there. You did it. You don't try it." She goes, "Okay, now who here has a Porsche? Am I right? A Porsche?" And everyone's like, "I don't have a Porsche." She's like, "Okay."

And they're like, well, there's a Porsche in our group. There's a Porsche. And so they're like, oh, my God, she gets Porsche. So then she tells Dr. Natasha 2025 is her money making year. And I don't think that means that music is successful because I don't think music makes you money anymore. Right. How do you make money from music?

I think it's hard. And I think especially like, I think Shamia, I applaud Shamia deciding that she's going to give it a full shot to become a pop star. But there are just certain rude aspects of the music industry. And one of them is that if you're like over, I don't know, 23, you're basically an old hag and you will not be accepted in music. And so I just think like she has an uphill battle. Yeah.

But ain't all ain't all bill ain't all battles kind of uphill at some point being sometimes you got to just go up that hill if it's worth it. Maybe they should stop fighting battles on hills. I mean, find a flat surface, everyone make your lives easier. Am I right? So fight only in the plains. So Dr. Natasha says to Shmi, as you, as you said, she said, you know, 2025 is your money making year. So Shmi responds by going, whoa.

I'm gonna make some money, money, money, money. So now Portia comes over and Angela's not going to speak with Portia until they address the elephant in the room, which is Nashville, the place we just went to. It's like, okay, we know the elephant. So Portia's like, am I headed for a divorce? Oh, no. Everybody knows about me because all you have to do is read the press. I'm in the press all the time.

And the Prophet's like, "Really, Portia? You're gonna kind of step on my gig here? Okay, come on. It's called 'Yes, And'." Okay, just go with the Prophet thing.

So then Drew arrives and then Dr. Natasha is basically, well, Kelly is like, well, Drew's an actress, so you have to be really careful with her because you don't know what you're going to get. And she's like, oh, well, I'm going to talk to Drew in private because I know she doesn't want to share. I'm like, Drew, Drew, like I said, she's an actress.

If she can take the stage, she will take it. Yeah, she's going to take it. And then they're like, well, you know, Drew, I need to speak with Drew privately, guys, because Drew's extremely depressing. She would prefer that I do my end of this reading from a basement. Do you have a basement? I can go down. She just makes her feel more secure. Yeah.

And so Portia's like, "That girl's so extra." Yeah, 'cause Drew's like, "Yeah, I don't wanna do my, I don't wanna do this in front of certain people, you know? I just wanna have some alone time." - Oh gosh. So Portia's like, "Oh wow, it's like she wants to tell lies in front of everyone, but she wants to tell the truth in private. Girl, just go ahead and get right in front of all of us."

Kelly's asking Angela how she's feeling, 'cause she hasn't seen her since Nashville. And Angela's like, "You know, I've been living a good vibe." It should be noted, by the way, that Angela is fully fanning herself, 'cause once again, she's overheating. And then, so, Angela says she's been giving it-- living a good vibe, and Brick goes,

Well, you receive what you give. Well, last time I checked, Britt, by the way, Angela gave a very good vibe to you at that whiskey tasting, and then you guys hugged, it seemed like everything was good, and then you immediately turned around and became a bitch to her yet again. Yeah, Britt's just, again, just trying to

start something because she's on TV and it's kind of exhausting. It's like another new girl attempted a war. We already had last week's massive fail. So it's like, oh God, Britt, here we go. So she's like, yeah, you need a good vibe start at home. And Angela's like, all right, well, let's talk about it then.

So Britt's like, well, I think the prophet might have been spot on. What do you guys think about Charles, about her terrible marriage? And Angela's like, well, do you have something you need to tell me about something? And she goes, do you not read the words coming out of my mouth?

Calm down, that big-ass mouth. I should be able to. Oh, big mouth? It sounds like you need to use that mouth more often. Angela's like, oh, I do. Not as much as yours with the stretch marks around it, though. So Brent stands up. She's like, show me. Andrew just goes, you've got miles on your mouth. I'm married, Brent. You're a whore. I just like that Angela goes from like,

you know shading to alluding to just blatantly saying yeah you're a whore she's like she's like yeah you've got you got miles on your mouth you're using your mouth a lot what I'm trying to say you're a whore you're a whore you're just basically a whore you you give a lot of fellatio whore

And so Cynthia's like, "No, no, no, no, no. No, no, not today." And Britt's like, "Well, maybe you need to be a whore in your bedroom and keep your man." Okay, you know, I don't love this, again. It's like every time the man is accused of having a baby or cheating, everyone's like, "Well, it's your fault. You didn't fuck him enough." Yeah. It's like, "Come on." It's old-fashioned. It's like, "Stop being gross." So then Drew is saying that she can't be with the group because she just has to protect her peace. Okay. Oh, yeah, whatever that means.

And she's like, the ancestors are turning over. And Angela, she's like, you might need to revisit your marriage, Brit. Well, your husband hasn't even acknowledged that he's been married to you for the last 10 years. And she goes, well, the world knows. She's like, the world knows about that, baby.

And Kelly's like, the world knows about that baby though. Yeah. So Kelly's trying to come back up, Brett. Kelly, you've chosen the wrong side on this. And at least it looks like she figures that out soon. But it's hard to like Kelly as much because she's just...

so hard for the wrong side every time yeah so shami is like well uh listen if someone said my husband had a side baby i'd be excited i wouldn't have to pay a surrogate i'd be like where's the baby put an air tag on the baby that's my baby the baby it's my baby so um well so this is all very entertaining like i'm chuckling along because it's silly i thought angela's being really funny i'm like this is fun i enjoy this i'm really enjoying the season cynthia's like everyone

I know we're having a scene where we're being kind of spicy and shady and being kind of funny. Let's stop it all. It's time to do...

It's time to do a quiz. I was like, oh, God, not questions. Yep. It's time for our Juneteenth quiz. At least it wasn't Never Have I Ever, to be fair. Well, this made me miss those games, you know? Because this one was just like... It's not that it's not important. It's that this is a housewife's party, okay? We were just talking about people being whores and mileage on mouths. And then to go to like...

you know, something educational. I mean, it was, it was like, like, it was, it was not a very serious moment. Everyone was laughing and still having fun, but it's kind of like Cynthia,

let the scene play out. Like, this is, you should have done this before the prophet, I feel like. Now, because now we're in the messy part of the episode. We don't have to stop everything and have, like, you know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whether it's about Juneteenth or whatever. It's just like, you're having a moment where you're sort of, like, throwing in, like, a structured, scripted moment of, like, we're going to play a game when there's already a good flow in the scene. Although it is kind of funny when Portia gets a question wrong and she goes, I have never been so loud and so wrong in my life. And then they flash back to

to 2013 when she thought there was a literal railroad underground. And Cynthia's saying, her grandfather is a civil rights hero. So then we go to eating time and Cynthia's like, okay, now I need to see Portia Williams and Angela Oakley in the tiny entrance room with two chairs. Okay, it's the profit room. We're going to call it the profit room.

So she's going to try and broker peace. So she says, OK, I wanted to have space for you guys to have a conversation. And so you guys talk. So Angela is saying, well, initially when I invited Drew, I just wanted you guys to make up and I felt attacked. And she's like, well, she wasn't invited and you blew past that. And so now it's not even on Drew anymore. You know, you went toe to toe. Hmm.

Yeah. And so Angela's like, well, I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about, you know, with all that. And Angela is, they're basically just like hashing it out. They're kind of having like kind of a, it's not, they're not really having a fight and they're not really having a make nice. They're just kind of like, well, I said this and you said that, but I said this and you said that.

Well, I think because they've already done this 5,000 times and that's a problem with this season. They're trying to pull the Beverly Hills where they have one thing happen and then they fight about it all season and this show just can't withstand that. We need fresh things. So they've already fought about this multiple times and now they're being made to fight about it again and they're both just like, "I don't agree with you, so let's just make up." So they agree to make up, even though they still disagree with each other. So they both half-ass apologize and then it's done.

So now Portia tells us it was a stupid comment about making, you know, the fucking Charles thing. And she's just like, it's alcohol, you know. But how was I supposed to know old Dumbo was up there with her big old ears listening? But since she was, I'm sorry. So Cynthia's like, okay.

All right. Okay. So we've done that. All right. And now Shamia, you and Angela can speak now. And she was like, let's do it. I was like, I didn't know that Shamia and Angela even had an issue. But I guess, I guess we, I guess they do. So fine. So now it's like time for sit down number two with Angela in the profit room.

Yes. So now Shamia is like, well, I just wanted some closure on the text that you sent me because I don't even know why I made you feel some sort of way. And then I get 10 pages of words and she's like, well, your best friend says to you, I should fuck her husband. I was looking to you as a married woman to check her. And she's like, oh, but you guys were fighting and she was talking shit. I'm not saying it's OK, but it's not my fight.

So why are you talking to me? Okay. But then why do you need a private conversation about it as well about that? Right.

Right. And she's like, but still, she's like, "I don't know. I'm just, I was just like, kicking with everybody. You know, I was laughing and funny. And I think, you know, I think laughter is healing. You know what else is healing? Singing! I mean, hell, I laughed at my uncle's funeral, because they buried him looking like a pastor, and he never stepped in front of a church, a foot in the church." And just like, "I don't really know what's going on here. But like, look, I don't think this conversation is necessary, because it's gonna lend itself to something." So she's like, "Okay."

And I think it's fair to say, like, this girl was being an asshole to me and you're supposed to be my friend. And you just sat out there laughing at all these jokes about my husband having a baby and her fucking my husband. Like, it would have been nice to stand up for me instead of just being like, well, that's just Portia. I think that that's kind of uncool, but whatever. I mean, I don't know why anybody would expect Shamia to do anything but stand up for Portia at this point. That's all. That's how she got on here.

Yeah. So basically, Shumi is like, yeah, they're both kind of end it in a place of like, well, we'll just agree to disagree. I feel like we should be mad at each other. But I also don't understand why we're sitting here having this conversation in the first place. Let's just go back and enjoy the rest of Juneteenth, whatever we can. Let's see what the prophet has to say for ourselves. So like, we absolutely. So then they go back in and

The party continues and it's just like, Angela, don't forget to pay your Instacart yearly membership. You're going to have to pay for delivery. She's like, all right, profit. Angela, are you aware that you included a Showtime add-on to your Paramount Plus membership?

That brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Join us over on Patreon for video recaps and bonus episodes. Last week we did a below deck trailer trash. So before that we did a next gen NYC trailer trash. This week we'll probably do a Real Housewives of Miami preview. So that's all fun and games go over there. Also come to our shows in Texas this week. We will be recapping Summer House in Austin.

and in dallas we will be doing real uh vanderpump rules season five episode six or season six episode five called uh sex lies and videotape

And then an audio tape. Audio tape, right? And then in Vegas, we're going to be the following week. And then we added shows in Los Angeles and Seattle in June. And that will finish us up for the tour. So go to WatchWhatCrapHands.com for ticket links and all of that good stuff. And we'll talk to you next time, y'allses. Bye. Bye.

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