#2838 Top Chef S22E09 Part Two: Mission Gayle-possible
40:14 Share

Let's be honest, nothing boosts confidence quite like great hair. But if you're seeing more strands in the shower, your confidence might not be at its highest. And that's why you need H.E.R.'s Hair. H.E.R.'s Hair treatments are made with doctor-trusted prescription ingredients that many other hair products out there don't have. They come in a variety of options, including oral and topical solutions, so you can find the one that works for you.

They even have options with added hair vitamins and supplements for extra support. Getting started is simple with a quick online hair quiz. Just answer some questions and you'll be connected with a provider to discuss your personalized treatment plan. Through hers, everything is 100% online, so no pharmacy trips, doctor's office visits, or insurance required. Plus, treatments start at just $35 a month.

And the best part? You can get thicker, fuller, healthier hair and start seeing regrowth in as little as three to six months. Start your initial free online visit today at ForHers.com slash crappins. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash crappins for your personalized hair loss treatment options. ForHers.com slash crappins.

Individual results may vary. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information.

When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Cat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross Cat early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Watch one, grab it, kiss.

Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one.

Bye. Enjoy the show. So Kristen's like, so Buddha, if I remember correctly, you've done a lot of en croute. How's Massimo's? And he's like, oh, fantastic. I'll make two hours to make pastry, bake it up, fill it up. I mean, kudos to him. Yeah. Girls, girls on croute snuggie doesn't really compare. Does it care?

So Patrick, this guy Patrick is like, he likes it. And he's like, well, is it a big deal? Gail's like the opposite of encrute. Gail encrute is like backwards encrute because encrute is fish wrapped in carbs and Gail encrute is carbs wrapped in Gail. I often say Gail's hair is encrute just because it's so crusty.

We did Gales 23 and Me, and it came back and it just said white bread. So Tom is like, yeah.

I mean, yeah, this is like, maybe it's not a big risk, but since we have an actor here, I'll just say, first take. You don't go back and do it again. You hit it on the first take. Am I right? And Tarzan's like, yeah, run out of time. The sun's going down. You got to get the shot. You know, you're about to go into overtime. You don't want to pay those guild dues. You know, the drivers are ready to take you off the set. You're waiting for your rundown, your call sheet for tomorrow. Am I right, actor-ing?

Yeah. So now they talk about Lana's dish and Tarzan's like, you know, I don't know how into this was, but I don't want every role I get either. And so I'm just going to call this dish, but I choose my career sometimes. And that is doing it for the insurance. Yeah.

Hitting my sag minimum. That's what I call this. Exactly. I squeeze this pipette. Yeah. So he's like, love the heart behind it. No pun intended. That was actor pun because there's little hearts here. Okay. But you know, this did bring me back to New Orleans and it reminded me of my mom's fried food, but it sucked. So it turns out my mom can't cook. Okay. If my mom ever made a decent meal, that would be a stunt. Yeah.

How's Tarzan here? Tarzan clocking in. For me, this just kind of was like a fried pile of cornmeal. Gail, stop talking about your shampoo. We're trying to judge some food here. It just tasted raw. Well, imagine how the cornmeal felt.

So then, yeah, they don't like this cornmeal. And then in the kitchen, Bailey and Cesar are getting ready for their food to come out. And Cesar is having some issue with his fish twills because they're cooking too fast on the flat top. So he has to go to a pan and then he has to rush things and some are getting burnt and he's being sloppy and everything's going to shit for Cesar.

Yeah, and so he's pissed. And next up is Cesar and Bailey. So they do think that Bailey's dish is dessert, which is crazy. And Tarzan's like, is this dessert? Wow. Or is it acting like somebody else? God, this dessert is almost good enough acting to know Tommy Cruise.

Did this dessert go to Stella Adler? Because it is really playing a part right now. Wow, it is. This is Jeremy Seward's method.

He, by the way, he actually has like a very hard time getting over the fact that it's not dessert. He's like, so this is not dessert because it looks like dessert. Like, no, it's a lasagna. But it's dessert. It looks like tiramisu. It's dessert, guys. Come on. I'm an actor, but I'm not dumb. It's a dessert, guys. Tom's like, well, I think that's a trick, you know, because it's supposed to look like dessert, but it's not.

But why would someone want to eat something that looks like dessert that's not dessert? I mean, come on. He's like going to call his publicist. What the fuck sort of shows you put me on with dessert? Desserts that taste like main meals or they're main meals that look like dessert. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck this is, but get me off it. These fuckers tried to trick me. Do they know who I am? I'm an actor. I'm Tarzan.

So, Bailey's like, so, I made a tiramisu fugazi. I made a porcini crispele, a norcina sausage bolognese, a bechamel layered in with just a little bit of truffle. And basically, I just made it look like a slice of cake, but it's actually lasagna. Tarzan, are you okay? You seem to be sneering at me and very angry at the moment. Yeah.

Bailey's constant pasta is making me crazy. And now I know this isn't pasta. This is crepes that she's calling a lasagna, but I still just get annoyed that she keeps saying pasta, pasta, pasta. Like I get it. You work in an Italian, you're like nomad without the name nomad, you know? Constant pasta is all she cooks.

Like, I get it. You work in an Italian restaurant. Fuck. So, Sassar is like, this is a miniature CN tower. So, your mission is to break through it, fish twill that's on top. And inside you'll find arctic char. And then you have a secret weapon and it's going to be sauce. And make sure to grab one. But don't do it too fast because they get scared by sudden moves. I don't like stunts. They're scary. By the way, this is, I think, the first time I've ever heard the phrase, your secret weapon is going to be sauce. Yeah.

How? You're going to break into the CN Tower, and you're going to do it with sauce. Wow. Well, that's handy. Gail's already got some of that secret weapon all over her face. Hey, can someone give Gail the stunt of a napkin? Okay.

"Here's a stunt clearing Gale's plate before she's licked every single last scrap off of it. I hope you don't mind bite marks." So, um... And Tarzan's like, "Wait a minute! This is sweet too! Is this sweet? Why is this sweet?" And he's like, "Um, well, there's a romaine jam in there. Doesn't that sound good? Romaine jam? It's a jam made out of romaine."

what a romaine jam so then yes tarzan is losing his mind because the thing that looks like dessert is actually a safe it's actually savory and the thing that looks like dinner is it tastes like dessert and he's like i don't understand this okay i'm an actor but no one told me to prepare for this okay i don't know what sort of response i'm supposed to have what is the motivation of me right now this is out of my control

That's a custard. There's a custard in there as well. So that dish also sounds crazy. So then now they're talking about Bailey's dish and they like it. Okay. They actually really like it. And they're like, wow. Tom's like, well, you know, crepes are a little thick and doughy.

Are you just gonna let that one sit on the table? Listen, everybody, I can't do everything, okay? I'm up here trying to ask Lucy Ricardo why she ever broke up with that handsome Cuban. Tarzan, why don't you give it a try? Okay, your prompt is: "This is like, this crepe is a little thick and doughy." Okay, Tarzan, go! Um, I've been in movies. Idiot!

"Have you been in a movie with Lena Waithe?" "I didn't think so." "Go back to being stupid." So Tarzan's like, "I felt deceived, though. I felt deceived, because, like, one was savory, one was custardy. I just don't get it." So do they like the sweetness of Caesar's dish? And one of the judges is like, "No. The oil from the tulle melt with the custard, no. It's not good."

And Buddha's like, well, the fish was handled nicely. Presentation was great, but it needed some acidity to cut through that sweetness. I didn't really understand that. I would have preferred if the acidity was being lifted by fire created by sunflower seeds that had been re-homogenized with a little bit of natural kerosene.

I, instead of having a fish twill that we break, he should have made a blimp out of fish twill, and it floats over the table, and you have to throw tiny forks at it and hope it crashes. That's a stunt. Well, I'm finding the twill to be somehow burnt. Yeah, well, that's like when Gail was in dance class as a little kid, and her tool was almost burnt because of her thighs rubbing together during plie time.

Plie time, more like please get out of here time. So Tarzan's like, hey, I'm a big sweet person. I'm almost as into sweets as I'm into acting. So when I tasted the sweet was like, hmm, not sweet. I was like, huh? I mean, the fish was good, but together, I don't know. I don't know what sort of fuckery you people are doing, but on the set of Mission Impossible, the sweet things were sweet and the savory things were savory, and I've had enough of this bullshit.

Wow. Actors, huh? I finally found someone dumber than a mixologist. Something. And he's like, yeah. You know, and I had a different idea of what stunts were going to look like. Did I ever tell you what I pulled off with Tommy Cruise? I mean, that was on the side of a plane, okay? Now you're going to put some ice cream into a fucking fish and I'm supposed to clap? I'm sorry, guys. I need some sparkles in the food, okay? So at least I can say, wow, there's sparkles. There's danger. Watch out.

He's not wrong. He's like, "I came all the way up here to Toronto to shoot this scene with you guys, and there's not any sparkler anywhere. I just have to pretend that I care that a fish en croute was made in two hours." Yeah, how is something not, like, flambéed or something, where you light a little string and it goes "bum-bum-bum-bum-tss" and then starts the fire? You know? Something. I mean, it's like a flaming Dr. Pepper at this point. Jeez.

So then in the kitchen, Vinny is making his lasers. This is the first time we actually see his lasers.

I love that he decided to do lasers because he's like trying to do a stunt. But when we actually see these lasers, it's like it's breadsticks. It's breadsticks. It's literal breadsticks rested on top of a bowl. Okay. They don't look like lasers. There's nothing lasery about this, but he calls them lasers. Now, his dish is actually beautiful. It does look like.

Uh, very high end. It looks gorgeous. I mean, the artwork of it is just beautiful. It looks really good, but then he decides he needs to do more to make it a stunt. So he has it in a bowl and then it's served on a plate and then he pours dry ice all over it, all over the plate, which freezes the dish.

Freezes the entire thing. The entire thing. Like the sauce, like, cause the dish, like the two plates are actually melded together. Cause it's like a bowl with a dish. And then there's the bowl under it that has the, the, the dry ice and they just freeze together. And meanwhile, Tristan,

Because he's, Tristan's also using dry ice because his whole thing is that he's going to serve his sauce. And you know how he's like, oh, you have to get to the sauce before it gets too cold. So he's serving a sauce in a bowl with dry ice. And the idea is that if they wait too long to get to the sauce, the dry ice is going to make it too cold and they're going to like, they're going to fail. So he's adding like a ticking clock. But the problem is that he doesn't get to present his food first. So he's just sitting there waiting before two people while his shit just gets frozen over also.

Yes. So Tristan's, you know, they're like, oh my God, that's so clever. A timer went off and we had to get the sauce for the thing. Oh my God, why is my chicken bleeding? Moose.

But let's see. So we get to Shwai. You start with Shwai first, though. Yeah, let's start with Shwai, yeah. So Shwai actually goes first, which I think the producers did on purpose just to fuck over the two people who use dry ice, knowing that the dry ice was going to mess up their dishes. So Shwai is like, you know... Actually, no, Vinny starts, but then we have Shwai, who then has...

his turducken which i still don't understand the stunt here this is actually the most this may be the biggest stretch of all like there's no stunt here this is just a turducken yeah and he doesn't even make it sound like a stunt he he sells his is i'm sticking with my trashy fantasy theme i'm like okay so then um being gail isn't a stunt it's just a sadness

So Tristan is like, yeah, this is chicken impossible. It's a chicken wing stuffed with a virus of crab. A virus of crab and sausage and chicken.

So the antidote is American flavored like the Viet Cajun seafood bowl. Okay. So now it's judging time and they can't eat Vinny's. It's like literally frozen. And, uh, John was like, well, if the mission was to make ice pop out of raw beef, nailed it. Nailed it.

Yeah, and they basically can't eat it, and they try to eat it, and they just can't at all. And Buddha's like, in terms of story, I was blown away. I mean, the key, the lasers, I mean, if he levitated away from the dry ice, it could have been a very, very interesting dish. Or if he just made the dish levitate, why can't any of these people make these dishes float? That's all I ask for. Floating food.

Yeah, and Kristen's like, well, I want to try it. So does anybody have a piece that's not frozen? So Tom's like, yeah, here you go. And it's rock solid. Gail's like, that is rock solid. I can't. And so, yeah, the shawaii's dish is next. And someone likes the texture, but they don't love, they think there needs to be more veg or whatever. And Gail's like, well, that is a well-constructed turducken.

We'll say that. Anyone? Anyone? Anne Boleyn, you want to get in on this? Okay, hold on. Anne Boleyn says the following. She has no head. I'm sorry. She didn't have any jokes. She tried moving her mouth, but nothing came out because her voice box is still stuck on her body. Still more interesting than anything Gale ever says. Am I right? So then we'll talk about Tristan's. And one thing that happened with Tristan's is...

His whole stunt of like, you got to get the sauce out of these bowls before, like in 30 seconds before it got too cold. But because the dry ice was like going, when they all reach in, did you notice that clearly the sauce was like ice cold and they're all reaching in, but they're all like their fingers. They're like, they didn't want to touch it. They're like freezing their fingers off. Yeah. So that was kind of a fail, but Buddha thinks it was tasty and textural and well-seasoned.

And he's like, well, you know what Patrick says, the dish at least had a point of view and was delicious. And the sauce was the best thing we ate today. It was restaurant ready. So they liked his. He got off well again. And then they're like, overall, it was decent, but yikes. So we go to, I like the little judge. We didn't hear much from her, but she, one of the dishes, she goes, wow,

This mission was impossible. What did she say? She said something like that. She was cute. It was impossible. Yeah. So then we go. They're also like, you know, they're also like, guys, we have we have an actor here and this is what you served us. Come on. They're so embarrassed. Well, it wasn't Tom Cruise. You know what I mean? That's what they always do. Well, actually, didn't Jurassic Park. They got Ron. I hate calling her Ron Howard's daughter, but I always forget her name.

Did they? No, I think that she did like a video, but the actress that they got was a minor actress. They've been getting like decline, like smaller and smaller actors for these movies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They had Charlize Theron one year, but after that it's been like, here's someone who has a small role in this blockbuster. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

At Hotels.com, we know some travelers crave an ocean breeze. Others don't want to deal with sand. And oftentimes, those two people end up together. Compare properties side by side to find yourself poolside, oceanside, and still in a relationship. Find your perfect somewhere with Hotels.com.

Everyone has that friend who seems kind of perfect. For Patty, that friend was Desiree. Until one day... I texted her and she was not getting the text. So I went to Instagram, she has no Instagram anymore. And Facebook, no Facebook anymore. Desiree was gone. And there was one person who knew the answer. I am a spiritual person, a magical person.

A gorgeous Brazilian influencer called Cat Torres. But who was hiding a secret?

From Wondery, based on my smash hit podcast from Brazil, comes a new series, Don't Cross Cat, about a search that led me to a mystery in a Texas suburb. I'm calling to check on the two missing Brazilian girls. Maybe get some undercover crew there. The family are freaking out. They are lost. I'm Chico Felitti. You can listen to Don't Cross Cat on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.

My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

Some people get a wild haircut or book a spontaneous trip when life throws them a curveball. But Molly?

Well, she dove headfirst into a world of no-strings-attached sex, secret rendezvous, forbidden affairs, and unforgettable adventures. And together, we tell every juicy detail in Dying for Sex, Wondery's award-winning podcast that's now streaming on a TV near you, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. And to top it off, we're dropping brand new bonus episodes where I sit down with the cast to spill all the spicy secrets.

Okay, so let's go to judges table. Tristan, Bailey, Mossimo, please stay here.

You had favorite dishes of the day. Holler. So, yeah, Massimo goes, this was me running through a wall for you. They're like, it's you made fish in the pastry. Buddha's like, Massimo, I've done wellingtons before inside the Top Chef kitchen. It's definitely a hard thing to do. And I thought you did extremely well.

Although one thing I did notice about your fish, it wasn't floating. Have you even thought about putting helium in it? Come on now. Kristen's like, wow, so satisfying. Rich, heavy. It was just the savory bomb we expected. And Buddha's like, I felt like it was a stunt double when it came out. Great job.

And Tarzan's like, "I don't even trust you, Bailey, because I had tiramisu, but then, once I got past it, I had to say, 'Whoa! I'm not eating sweets!'" How am I gonna explain this to Tom Cruise when I already texted him, like, "Dude, they're serving me tiramisu! You know you only get one shot with that guy!"

So Buddha's like, he's like, Tristan, can you tell us more about how you came up with the, your virus, your chicken moose virus chicken wing? It's like, yeah, well, there is this mission impossible where they had to put a virus into like someone's arm. And I thought, you know what I want to do? I already made chocolate soil last week. So now let me make chicken virus. Yeah.

You know, during this time when we have avian bird flu going around, let's make some virus and put it into a chicken wing. So then, Boodle loved it. He liked it. He liked the story as well. Tom loved the flavors. So it's up to Tarzan to announce the winner. And he's like, as an actor...

I would like to say the winning chef today was not Tom Cruise, but Tom Cruise could have played this role. I'm telling you. Might have won an Oscar for it if he was dangling off the side of a building while he did it, which I've done with him because I'm an actor. But guess who the win is? I forgot. Lime. Lime. And the winner is...

Mossimo for your non-floating fish. And Mossimo's like, oh, hey, well, as they say in hockey, they say you have to learn how to lose before you learn how to win. That explains Gale's fashion sense. Still waiting for that win, though. 22 seasons in, we haven't gotten to that win. Wow. So he's basically like, now I'm heating up. I'm on cloud nine. Buddha's like, don't tempt me with a floating cloud.

So, Kristen, so he wins $10,000 and two tickets for you and a guest to go to the premiere of the new Mission Impossible movie, courtesy of Paramount Pictures, where you'll be flown by Spirit Airlines, a new spirit in the sky, Spirit Airlines. And Tarzan's like, and you're sitting with me. And he's like, oh, God, is Tom Cruise going to be there?

I don't know, but they usually put me at the back of the theater. So they're going to sit with me. Well, we're all going to sit with this fucking guy is going to be sat by the popcorn stand. The hell I really want to know if he's going to sit next to, if he's going to sit next to Tarzan, like I actually want to follow through on that. Cause that's got, I think that premiere must be happening this week or something like that. Like I want to know, did they sit next to each other? Because you can't make a promise like that on TV and not follow through Tarzan.

Yeah, I guess we'll see where Tarzan lands. So then the other chefs on the bottom are Lonnie, Vinny, and Cesar. Guys, you sucked. Let's talk about it. So, Lana, what was the crumble? And she's like, my mom, my mom, my mom. Love my mom. And so my mom. And then I folded in a little bit of maltodextrin to give that powdery look. And Gail's like, um...

So when you say you cooked that down, was that in a saute pan? And she goes, no, I baked it. She goes, okay, that makes much more sense. That makes much more sense. You baked it. So you failed. So if this were an egg, would you say that this was a burnt charred rubbery egg? No.

You know, my big problem is that the cornmeal never became hydrated. It's like, you might as well just serve us cornmeal. I mean, was that actually cornmeal? Or was there a stunt here? Was this just, I don't know, Gale's dandruff? Wow, Tom, didn't see that coming. Good. Wow, never became hydrated. What are we, Gale's pores? Tarzan's like, it felt like the cornmeal was a bit dry and crunch sandy.

Which is funny because I did read for the role of Crunch Sandy in the Captain Crunch biopic that's coming out later this year. But I unfortunately lost to Brendan Fraser. Still a little salty about it. And Gail's like, um, the connection between the fish and the fry, I just couldn't get that because they were texturally off. I need more of a connection between fish and fry.

That's what I'm asking for. Gail's favorite song is the fish fry connection from the Muppets. We haven't told you yet that she got the lyrics wrong. One connection Gail doesn't need more of. The connection between fry and mouth.

So Vinny and Vinny's like, oh, I mean, everything was great. I loved it. I had a great time. Nomad makes it, you know, it always works there. And, uh, I slowly saw the tartar starting to freeze in front of you. It was like winter at Nomad. Am I right? Everybody. Yeah. Watching that, uh, watching, watching that tartar slowly freeze in front of you is like, uh,

realizing your dreams of being the next top chef are freezing up with the moment they said stop cooking hollandaise i just i just froze didn't know what to do and kristen's like um dry eyes can freeze a thin layer of raw beef in 10 seconds just so you know i don't know if you've learned that in school but that's what happened tarzan's like you know i enjoyed it the smoke and everything that was so cool and i appreciated that your tartar tasted like tartar not a fucking dessert

But oftentimes in movies, we have the big action stuff, and there's nothing behind it, man. And it feels like that's what happened in this situation. We couldn't dish. It was like an action movie without any substance. Yeah, Tarzan's like, you know all those movies that aren't Mission Impossible? Just all action and no substance. Mission Impossible is all action and no substance. That's the point, sir. Yeah.

What movies has Tarzan been in that are like full of all the, okay, let's see his movies. He's been a mission possible mission possible top gun Maverick tales from the hood called the wild. Okay. So, you know, all those movies with all that meaning behind it. He's like, it's not called call, call of the wild tiramisu. That's really a lasagna.

Okay. It's not called the lasagna. It's called the tiramisu. And Gail's like, this dish suffered from the need for some editing. Oh, really, Gail? Someone needs to take their own advice in the wardrobe. Diana Vreeland told me to tell you that.

So, Kristen's like, Cesar, are you surprised to be standing here? And he's like, yeah, my storytelling didn't do so well. I think I got spooked because I had a dream that my rutabaga ate me from under my bed. It grew through my mattress and tied me down and then started eating me alive.

So Buddha's like, well, the turmeric custard, I mean, that was overpowering. Am I right? Spiritually, it really touched me. Was there a specific sort of flavor profile of sort of cuisine that you were looking at that you completely missed? Or if the idea for this was a stop and you were on the bus that passed it, do you know what went wrong there? Could you just tell me? Should the bus have been floating above the stop? That's what I'm asking. Yeah.

And what if a guy was hanging off of the bus, like an actor might be in a Mission Impossible movie? That's right, Tolzano, you're getting the hang of it now. And so Sarah's like, um, I was playing off fresh flavors and textures, but I don't know, I guess it just didn't come together. Mm-hmm.

Oh, so many jokes about Gale to be had. I mean, really, you guys just make it so easy for me. It's almost not fun anymore. I'm literally exhausted with this. I've been trying to pay attention to Rob Goulet covering Beyoncé's powerful 18 carriages. Unfortunately, Gale ate two of the carriages. So we're down to 16. Gale's read extends to heaven.

She eats ghost carriages. It's shocking. John Denver started crying when the carriages went missing. She also ate his country road. Now he just goes down country grass. It's so sad for him.

So they do some private judging and they're like, well, Lana's cornmeal was shitty, but, you know, how was the rest of the dish? And Buddha's like, well, I mean, she tried to create an illusion with the description, but there was no illusion. And Gail's like, um, if I ate with my eyes closed, I never would have gotten that. Well, yeah. Gail, stop talking about how you sleep. Yeah.

Going to Gail's house at 3 a.m. She just props her head up on that table and shuts those eyes.

Oh, and Tarzan's like, well, I'm telling you this. I would be upset if I spent a lot of money for that dish. Damn, Tarzan. But thankfully, I don't spend a lot of money on dishes because I'm an actor, and I generally get them for free or I don't eat them. And Tom's like, yeah, and then we get frozen tartare. Well, they should have served it chiseled, just like we serve Axan's stars. Am I right, Tom? You should see Tom's abs.

And Gail's like, honestly, that actually would have been a good stunt. So Kristen's like, well, you know, when you can't actually eat a dish, I mean, what do you do with that? Well, I'm afraid that Gail has never encountered that issue before. I was going to say, Gail hasn't met that dish yet. I mean, give her a rubber tire, still be bite marks in it. Gail would literally eat the dish. Yeah.

buddha's like oh god it's hard to see somebody fail with dry ice because so many of us really really rely on that in our daily in our daily walks of life um and gail's like i mean it feels like he was sabotaged in the end by the evil genius who came in and froze everything oh calm down gail they're just little barbs i wasn't talking about you please just stay dead

gail stop trying to get cats in mission impossible okay you're not going to be a movie star so analysis sarah's dish kristen calls it overwhelmingly sweet and confused and uh also burnt don't forget about that burnt burnt everyone's like yeah see as far as dish was disgusting i wanted to vomit gross and tarzan's like i kind of liked it actor

Tom's like, well, for dessert, it's good, I guess. And Gale goes, but for a tartar, it's not Tarzan. Tarzan's like, wait, it's called a tartar? I thought all this time you guys had just come up with a cool new nickname for me. I was like, hey, I'm tartar. No. It's an actual dish. Booty's like, well, Booty. Booty's like, well, I don't see where it was going flavor-wise, and I don't see where it was going stunt-wise as well. I mean, where was it going? That was a lost, lost, lost tartar.

are you guys talking about me or the dish and i'm now i'm fully confused i admitted that i thought it was a tiramisu okay i admitted that you don't have to call me a lot i know i'm an actor i know i'm handsome i'm not dumb but i am a little confused every time you say tardar are you talking about me are you shading me it's not cool guys

Now they have to go to the quick fires because it's like, everyone's messed up so much. And basically the track record is that Lana and Vinny and Vinny did well in the quick fires.

And Cesar messed up. So ultimately, this is really saving Lana's ass, I think, because I think that that fish would have would have been a goner. And it's sad that it's so bad that it's even a question when they couldn't even eat Vinny's. They couldn't even eat Vinny's. And the fact that it's still a question between other people is crazy. So it's been really bad. Yeah. Yeah. So Vinny was in the top for his muscle larb. So they're going to keep him.

Tom's like, "Eh, and Cesar was on the bottom and on the bottom. It's double bottom. What are we on, Bravo?" So basically, yeah, that's going to seal the deal. So they come out and, "You know, chefs, you had to actually conceive this stunt that clearly pulled some people out of their comfort zone."

Tarzan over here is still trembling about this whole dessert situation. He's very confused. For the most part, you really didn't deliver young either on the story, the stunt, or the execution of the dish. Cousin! Pardon my cousin?

So Kristen's like, Cesar, please pack your knives and go. Cesar, you've got a chance in hell. You've got a snowball's chance in hell of getting back into this competition through Last Chance Kitchen. We'll see you there. It's a great show. I love it. It's going to be good. I actually watched Last Chance Kitchen, but I will not spoil what happened. Oh, I want to know.

Okay. Everyone, this is a last chance kitchen spoiler. If you don't want to hear it, you can just end the episode now. And now here we go. Okay. We're giving you one, two, three press stop. Okay. Okay. So here's one thing you have to know about last chance kitchen is that it's a two parter and I didn't realize it. So I just downloaded the most recent one and it was like, welcome back to part two. I was like, okay. So, uh, Katiana has been killing it before she's killing it. Uh,

And so this was the finale of last chance kitchen because the winner of this challenge is going to get, I knew she was coming back. I knew. So it was a, it was a best two out of three thing. So I missed the first part, but apparently the first part, she actually lost the first challenge. So then the second challenge was you have to make a perfect bite. So they both make a bite and Katiana won the second one. Her bite Cesar did some weird ass shit. He did like a, a,

a gougere that was filled with blue cheese and um white chocolate he's like so man yeah tom's like what is this come on he was like i don't know what the fuck this is so then it was tied and so now tom's like all right sudden death just make me a great dish grab me maybe whatever you want so he says r decides to he takes a zucchini and he spirals it up

and he grills it and he does like zucchini but with blueberries and it's like this weird funky thing and then katyana's like um i'm gonna go to a flavor profiles from when i first started cooking so she decides to make a cauliflower soup with like raisins and there's something else in it um yeah which i was like that's oddly i think oddly safe and also like not what she's really known for

And so her soup, Tom basically said, you know, Tatiana, I like what you did here, but your soup is kind of under seasoned. And then with Cesar, he's like, you know, Cesar, you either, your dishes are either really, really good or really, really bad. And so in this one, you know, it's kind of getting there. And in the end, the winner coming back to the competition, Cesar.

Cesar, Cesar won. Oh, no, I was wrong. I thought for sure Katiana was going to be coming. I was shocked. I thought Katiana, like, I could not believe it. But she should not have been making a cauliflower soup. She bones it at the end, right? She screws it up at the end. Because I was going to say, when she made that weird tofu crumble thing, it was another thing. She was like, well, I like it. I like tofu, so I'm going to.

I was like, no. I mean, it seemed like a mistake when she was doing it. And this being like, I'm going to go back to what I liked to make when I first started does not sound like a good... And Cesar's will definitely seem strange, but it actually looked very beautiful. It looked like a more elevated dish. And she said that when she was a line cook in Vegas, these were flavor profiles that she used when she first started. And I'm like...

I get that. That's a nice story, but like, don't use and cauliflower raisins. That all works. That's great. But like, I feel like I don't know. I wouldn't eat a cauliflower soup in Vegas. That sounds cray cray. That's the thing. That sounds so we're going there this weekend. I will not eat a cauliflower soup there. Yeah, I've made cauliflower soup, but here's what delicious. A lot of garlic, a lot of onion, a lot of cream.

a lot of seasoning because the cauliflower is nothing you know you actually need a lot of seasoning like more than you think because otherwise it can go bland and so I was so bummed I thought I thought for sure she's gonna come back she was she was destroying everyone in last chance kitchen but Cesar just managed to eek by so wow that's too bad and I like Cesar but

I love Cesar, but... I don't know, but I just thought she deserved a chance to come back and just kill. I saw her coming back and then winning it like Kristen did in her season. That's what I thought. She got kicked off and then she got kicked off. She came back and won the whole thing. Oh, well, I guess it's not going to happen. That's too bad. It is too bad. It's a real shocker. But good for him. At least he's a sweetheart, you know? He has really cool creative stuff, but he's just also had some crazy missteps. I mean, I don't...

I don't know. The second issue described, I would kick him off just for that. Yeah, it's like I want him... I like that he likes being bold, but I also kind of want him to maybe just like...

just rein it in a little bit because he's clearly talented and he's gotten better and better over the course of the season. And like, it's cool that he thinks outside the box, but just don't assume that every single outside of the boxing works. It's kind of like, stop wasting all of our time, you know, like, well, yeah, out of the box is okay. But it's when people are like trying to be wacky, just to be wacky, you know, it's like Janet being like, I love Dave and Buster. Like you're just trying too hard. No, I was not expecting that comparison, but true, but true.

Oh, well. So that's the news. Oh, well. That sucks. But also good for Cesar, you know? So I guess we're going to see next. So how many episodes are left? Probably just a few, right? I think probably like two or three because they said next week is the semifinals, I think, or going into the semifinals. I don't know. Or it's like the battle for the semifinals. I think there's now that, well, there's six people left, right? There's six people left. With the Top Chef, they'll be back up to seven. But they'll probably do a double elimination. Yeah.

So it'll be probably three weeks left, do you think? I think it's gonna be about three, unless they make the finale a two-parter. We'll see. Yeah, it's usually 12 episodes, I think. Yeah, only because, you know, we're about to get our summer turnover. So in June, all the new shows are kicking in. You know, you got like...

uh real house was in miami you've got next gen new york city a dude below deck so top like top chef is gonna start like winding down now and we'll probably be done by i would say like the first week or week of june yeah okay

All right. Well, everybody will be here no matter how long it goes. We will. We'll be here and tomorrow we'll be back with Love Island. Not Love Island. God damn it. We will be doing Love Island in June, speaking of, but Love Hotel and Below Dick tomorrow. So join us and we'll talk to you then. Thanks for being here. Bye.

Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern. It's always automatic with Ashley auto. Put your hands together for Carly clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy off it. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. It's.

We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trickless. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no last name-y. She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotts.

She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches!

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Know your worth with Jason Kurz. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She gets an A, it's Kelly B.

We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Shadley. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alcalani. The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.

She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys.

If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.