#2881 Summer House S09E17: Front Paige News
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Watch what happens, watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch what happens, watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the beautiful and radiant Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Well, hello, Banoonies. What you doing?

you know, just hanging out with you, getting ready to talk some summer house. Um, before we dive into that, guess what? Next week, Seattle, big show recapping the, uh, the real housewives of Miami premiere. That's going to be on Thursday up in Seattle at the Neptune. You better be there. We're gonna have a great time. We love our Seattle peeps. We love all our Pacific Northwest peeps. We love all our peeps around the world.

But we're going to have a great time in Seattle. And it's going to be so fun. Great crowd always. So come join us. Ticket links are at WatchYourCrapins.com. Also, then the week after that, on June 19th, we're doing Watch Your Crapins. Big grand finale event for the Mounting Hysteria Tour. Last live show of the year. It's going to be in Los Angeles. Home turf. It's going to be at the Fonda Theater. June 19th, another great one. So don't miss these last two shows because once they're done...

you're going to have to wait a while to see a live show from us. So, uh, again, tickets are at watch what happens.com. Uh,

uh that the links are there also join us on patreon we are covering love island we just recorded our second episode we recapped last night's show we had so much fun a lot of hot takes a lot of opinions um a lot of assessments a lot of truths were unraveled things we discovered we discovered what certain people look like we ronnie ronnie basically ronnie ronnie figured out a whole bunch of shit on this episode so uh i think we're doing very good psychological deep dives on these children we are

And you are, but you had some child psychology, but you had some real good revelations during the episode, especially towards the end about who certain people look like. So I really recommend, I really recommend you all listen to that. Patreon.com slash Walter Krapitz. Okay. Sorry, whatever I've done to that guy's sex life after that, because.

Anyway, it is time to move on with our recap of Summer House. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. News. News time. Breaking news. Breaking news. Someone's coming up to the podium to say something. Is this Paige DeSorbo from Summer House? Yes.

Someone's crying. Someone's crying. That's my ex-boyfriend. Please be quiet over there, drunk person. I have a little update for you. I've made this decision not to return to Summer House. It's been a very difficult choice between staying on a reality show with Kyle Cook, having to drink Loverboy every weekend of my summer...

Or going and being successful and hanging out with real celebrities and enjoying a real summer for once in my life. I have spent seven years trying to pretend it is easy to have a conversation with people like Carl. And I'm rich enough now that I no longer have to pretend. You people bought that I shopped at Old Navy for a summer? You're all idiots. So I don't know why I'm wasting time with you. You are the people that deserve Carl. I'm out of here. Bye, stupids.

I always told myself I'll leave the show whenever they fix that damn door in the front. Well, they fixed it. So my time here is over. I've decided to leave this show to the elderly. Lindsay, enjoy this with your geriatric baby. I would like to just say, Lindsay, I'm so proud of you for actually giving birth to Matlock. Thank you. I have left you a six pack of Ovaltine in the fridge. Every time you drink one, think of me.

From now on, just know, when you miss me, I'll be at home, in my bed, with my cat. But this is her...

This is her, the real way she ends it. She's like, I'll be in bed with Daphne. Goodbye. I love that Paige ended her relationship with Craig, which I always thought was kind of a branding deal anyway. And then I know we disagreed on that, but I always kind of looked at it like she looked at them like kind of the first couple type thing. Like I'm going to protect his personality. And now she got rid of Craig and now she's doing the same thing with Daphne. She's like, I have a new line of pajamas called Daphne.

Thank you very much. Out with one brand and with a new brand. This one can't talk back or get drunk.

I would also like to say that Daphne did not get kicked out of Kyle and Amanda's wedding. Any rumors that you heard were absolutely untrue. Cut to four years later when Daphne betrays Paige. Daphne absolutely did get kicked out of that wedding. A thousand percent. A thousand percent. A thousand percent. It was embarrassing. My ex-cat was removed from the wedding.

And I will never say her name again for the rest of my life. This is the end of an era, Paige, leaving Summer House. I'm bummed. I don't, you know, I wish I had more faith in casting, but they brought us Lexi. I am seriously very scared for the show. I think this is cannot. This is Bravo. You failed. What to me, this is she would not have left if they gave her the right money. I'm going to tell you that right now.

she is commanding probably a hefty price tag because she has blown up as she's always deserved to and uh bravo was probably not willing to pay that money but bravo you should because you also have lindsay who basically admits as we'll see like that she's not going to be probably a regular on summer house she'll pop in but she won't be a regular you have carl who does nothing kyle and amanda will have the same old fights and talks about whatever jesse and and west pretty good sierra's all right you know but like

There's not gonna be a lot to carry the show I mean page did a lot of heavy lifting and I think this is a bad time for this to happen because the youth oriented shows You know, you've got Vanderpump Rules coming back and whatever formats gonna come back and then you know The audience isn't gonna accept it. You just know that right off the bat The audience is gonna reject no matter how good it is. The audience is gonna reject it now summer house without page I think this is tough. This is a tough time for Bravo. I

Bravo's going through it. That's for sure. Bravo's having a rough time of it, but you know, we're, we're fans. So we hope for the best. You know what? We'll still watch the best. That's it.

You know, when they got rid of the work as twins, we're like, how will the show go on? And look where we are now. There was that moment because you know what? Say what you want about the work as twins. They were entertaining crazy people. Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl. Yeah. We didn't know how all that, the first cast leaving, you know, Steven, the work as twins, the, you know, when Lindsay broke up with what's his buns.

Yeah, Christina, we never, you know, shows can go on. It's not like it's destined to die, but it's destined to die if they go in the direction of casting that they have been, which is like, let's get like really like silly influencers who only care about influencing, you know, even though that's kind of what Paige is, but Paige is more than that. I get that everybody they get now is going to be an influencer in some way, but I don't know. They need someone like really snarky and funny to fill these shoes. Yeah.

Yeah, because I think so much the appeal of Summer House really started to come down to the fact that stuff would happen in the house and then basically Paige would go gossip about it with a friend. And that friend at first was Hannah, then it became Sierra. But now it's like

it's not going to be Sierra and Lexi. Maybe they could center Gabby a little bit more because Gabby kind of does have that vibe and she's always been kind of like put off to the side that like, you know, Gabby could rise to that challenge. Well, the other rumor is that Gabby's out too. So the rumor is that they're firing. She did so much this season though. No, she did a lot of handholding literally through this reunion, but they did. The rumor is they're getting rid of Lexi, Gabby, Emeril, and

I mean, Emeril's definitely on. They didn't even let him do the whole reunion. That was the most... That was cold. He was a full-on cast member. That was cold. And they didn't even let him do the...

yeah we talked about it last week when you were gone welcome home by the way to summer house for those of you who only listen to summer house but um we talked about it last week how they're like emerald i'm so sorry only the only thing anybody ever talked about was your sexuality was that hurtful for you and he's like oh yeah i got you know blacklisted from my family parties about my kids my nieces party my nephew's party because they just looked at me as like emerald

That whore never invited me again. They're like, oh my god poor emerald. Okay emerald So what about the threesome and did you stick your penis in Jesse's butthole? Okay. Thanks emerald. Thanks for coming. See you later I think they never asked him about anything else

Yeah, I mean, he said, like, I think a mistake was for me was just like opening up with that sex party. And that just like really set a tone. I'm like, it was your choice to go to a sex party instead of the first week of filming on a TV show that you're so lucky to be on. And we've had a few messages from people who are like, I know him roll. And he's like, actually really nice. And he's like raising a charity to build a school in Bangladesh. I'm like, that's fine. But then it is built out of sperm.

Well, then don't spend your first week on a platform going to a sex party instead. Sorry. Well, no one on this show has ever said Emeril seems mean. I mean, Emeril's a very nice guy. And actually, I think the biggest shock...

to us that he was a nice guy because he came in on the motorcycle he did like the full he got the full douchebag treatment and he you know presented himself that way and i was shocked that he wasn't a douchebag he was actually a fairly nice guy just boring you know like a school in bangladesh great that's great i'm not even going to be sarcastic about it that's cool that he does that but that's still not a storyline on the summer house you need to have some messiness

So I don't know. He was no hate for him. You know, he just didn't, it just didn't work.

Yeah. He, he, um, yeah, he just didn't bond with the rest of the cast and he can say, oh, they, they, they made me look like I was just like a man whore when I only brought back a few girls and like not nothing out of the, out of, you know, crazy. I guarantee if Emeril was making real relationships with people, Bravo would have, would have showcased that because, you know, they know they can only have Carl and Kyle for so much longer. They can keep Kyle for a while. Carl is like,

like i don't carl is kind of like running on fumes at this point i think they are always interested in fostering new talent on this show because it's really hard they would have done that if they could have i don't think emerald gave them anything to work with to be honest

So I'm gonna put that one on Emeril and not the editors. But I also wanna say something since I wasn't here to comment on it last week. I just wanna say, I know it's old news. I fucking hate the set. This was the worst reunion set they've ever done. The stupid like oversized bed party. Sorry, I hated every aspect of it. The white bed frame. Like you could do a slumber party thing, but not like this. This was a terrible, I was mortified for everyone involved. - I thought the idea was cute.

But you're, first of all, having a party called Snoozefest, not good. And we were saying last week, like, they couldn't exactly call it bedbugs because it's, like, too soon. Like, New York really had to go through that. So that's too soon. But Snoozefest, and then to name, like, to theme your reunion that's actually really boring, Snoozefest is not, maybe not the best. Front page snooze. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Right. Yeah. And then the pastels, they just look so silly. All the group pictures look pretty silly. It's like Easter's done, you know? I'm sad that this is how Paige had to go out on this stupid set with, like, comforters. I was very unhappy with that. She went out first seat in bed. She's fine. Yeah.

You know, and she no one called her on anything because she didn't really do anything mean or shitty this year. And this was also one of Paige's best reunions because I feel like Paige's biggest mistake. Well, I don't know if I'd call it a mistake because it's probably the most entertaining she is ever.

But it's also weird is how she does this whiplash thing every year where she's one way during the season and has very few problems. And then she shows up at the reunion and just rips everybody to shreds. It's like, what the hell is happening? And it's entertaining every time. But it's also like, where the fuck did that come from? She always kind of overshoots the reunion. And this time she didn't. She just came in. She was, you know, she had her own offline story.

Off-camera storyline, for the most part offline. And she did a good one. So I think for her it was good. It just wasn't a great reunion in general. Yeah. Well, maybe she was unhappy with Craig all that time and it was just coming out at the reunion. She was projecting it. Oh, it's all Craig. Everything's Craig. Blame Craig for everything. Of course. Jesus Christ. Tariffs, Craig. Craig. 100%. I heard that Craig is the one who gave Trump the idea about the tariffs. So...

I will blame Craig. That was me. I was in the Bahamas. No, but seriously, I think that she probably was... She did not overshoot. Because she was in bed. I think in the past, she was just in a chair and uncomfortable. She's like, why are we sitting in chairs when these could all be beds? And now she's in a bed and she's much more pleasant. Yeah. But overall, I don't see Sierra really carrying this burden.

with anybody else. But you never know. I mean, yeah, hopefully they'll figure it out, but it's going to be, they're really losing. God, I hope they don't bring back Danielle. Please don't, please don't give us a Danielle Salvo. That's not what we need. They've had a hard time finding new women on the show for a while. Like they haven't had a good new female casting since,

Really, since Paige and... Since Sierra was the last good female casting. And Sierra took a little while to warm up. It took like three seasons for Sierra to become interesting. So...

Yeah, I don't know. I think maybe this was all the plan anyway. They knew the cast was going to age out, and so they started prepping early. They got Jesse and West in there, and they're the elders now, and they're just going to start building around them is what I think. Because Kyle and Amanda, I mean, you know, look, we like them and everything, but there's just too much. They showed at the end of this, they were like, and coming up, and they never before seen footage. And it's Kyle and Amanda like, come.

You're not ready to have a baby. Are we going to have a baby? I don't know if we're going to have a baby. I was like, no one needs this for another year. So I think that the whole plan is to bring on the slightly younger, still douchey set.

Which I'm fine with. I'm just saying, like, I get nervous because casting on Summer House is always so hit or miss because when it misses, it misses so hardcore. Like it's they they miss. So, I mean, their duds are some of the biggest duds on Bravo. But when they hit, they hit so well. So it's always you never really know what's going to happen in a season.

You never know. And they don't have time. And by the way, they don't, and they don't have the luxury of other shows of saying like, we're going to take a little bit more time to figure out the cast of chemistry because they are on a truly seasonal schedule. Like they have to be in that house by July. So they only have so much time before they, to figure out the cast of chemistry before they start shooting, which is probably why they do have these hits and misses. Yeah. I think they've probably already figured it out because it starts shooting in a month. So they've probably already got everything set. Yeah.

Bailey, you're up again. Bailey's back. Okay, well, let's pick up where we left off. Well, just put all the people that have flopped on Summer House. Maybe if you give them all another chance, they'll all come back and do okay. You know, bring back Jules, bring back Alex, bring back Sam, Maya. Yeah, bring them all back. The guy from season two.

Yeah, let's not even put that out there. Okay. I would welcome back Christina Gibson. I've always loved reporter Christina Gibson reporting at large. She's in Palm Beach now with a baby, so we'll never see her again on TV. Yeah, yeah, she's done.

So let's see here. Where are we? Waking up where we left off, Sierra confronting Lexi about her press tour. So she's like, yeah, like what you illustrated in the media, Lexi, like painting a picture that me and Jesse are like doing whatever, like manipulative or whatever to like rub it in your face. Like what the fuck? And she's like, but like Jesse orchestrates all this stuff and then he does it all summer to me. Like he specifically like pitted me against you three.

Okay, but we didn't see that from the girls and we didn't really see that from you. We only saw you and Jesse interacting the whole summer. So whose fault is this? Like at some point it's like, are you just a dumbass that you're going to believe everything that some guy tells you? Because you were nice to those girls and they were nice to you. So...

Yeah. I think like I a hundred percent believe that I think that Jesse is sort of manipulative in this like fuck boy away. And he, and he definitely says things that made her like maybe more suspicious of the girls, like, or, or suspect that there was more animosity than that was there. But what I don't like about Lexi is that she really takes herself out of the equation here. It's fine for her to say, you know, Jesse filled me with thoughts that you guys didn't like me. And,

And I was trying to push against that. And like, I really, it was my bad because I didn't actually do like do the work with my own eyes to see like our relationships. I let someone else influence me. Like she never really said that. She just was like, he pitted me against that. Like he pitted us against each other. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't even think that he pitted. I think that he just is, um,

Well, he did pit. I actually do think he pit. I take it back. He pitted. There was true pit happening, but I also think that he does it in a way where he, I think he just likes to take himself out of

responsibility for conversations he has and therefore it turns into pitting, if that makes sense. Like if he's gossipy with the girls about Lexi and he, like if he has a conversation with the girls and says she's a little like jealous, then they react and he goes and brings the information back to her and then removes himself out of it. So like,

I don't think he's doing it to Pitt necessarily. You know what? Why am I even bothering trying to figure out why? I mean, I think he is. I think what you're saying is right. He's going to the girls and saying that girl's jealous. And then the girls are saying he's she's jealous. So watch out. And then he's going back to her and saying, oh, my God, the girls think you're just jealous. You know, so I the problem in all of this is that sometimes.

saying anything that Lexi did wrong sounds like standing up for Jesse. Jesse's a douchebag, a liar, and a piece of shit. So I want to just get that out. I don't, I think Jesse sucks. I ain't ever going to listen to his music. I hate his stupid mouth. I hate his, I hate everything. Okay. Jesse sucks.

That said, Lexi also sucks. And I think Lexi gets away with a lot because Jesse sucks so much and she's just doing everything. The question in all of this is why are you going to the press and making me look bad? When the season ended, you told me you don't trust me and Jesse broke up with you.

And now you're making it look like you had this birthday party that we ditched to go out together, which was a lie anyway. She had a birthday party on the 21st. They went to brunch on the 22nd. Jesse never even posted pictures of Sierra's face. He just posted pictures of food. But Lexi was like, oh, my God, they went to lunch the day after my birthday. But then when all these podcasts saying, oh, my God, they both ditched my birthday party and went out together instead to to make me feel bad.

And that's shitty, that's shitty of Lexi to do it. So even now when she's being called out, she's playing this like, "But it's because Jesse manipulated me." It's like, oh my God, are you an idiot? So now you wanna get off the hook because you're just too stupid.

And also your lie is completely clear. That brunch was the next day and you broke up with him and you told her you didn't trust him. So why would she go? Lexi? Yeah, she really messed this one up because she really, she did a great job with breaking up with him on the show. Like I loved the way that she broke up with him. But I don't think it was necessary for her afterwards to tell Sierra, I don't trust you because of what he said. I was like, well, this is the time when you actually want to like,

build up your alliances and your friendships. Like this is when you, you go towards the women that you feel like you were kind of held back from because of him. Not like maybe she was trying to say, Hey, like the reason why we're not close is because he made me feel like I shouldn't trust you. But the truth is like it was on him or whatever. She didn't really quite say that. And then, like you said, she went on this press tour. It's like,

you're really messing it up. You're really showing your ass too in this, unfortunately. And you could have actually emerged from this being like, you could have risen from this and we all would have actually rallied around you. And we'd have been like, oh my God, I want to see the side of Lexi that we didn't get to see yet. I'm ready for season two with her. But instead it's like, oh no, you're just another-

You're just thirsty for clicks. Trying to get attention. Yeah, you're trying to get headline clicks out there at someone else's expense. And do it to Jesse all you want. But Sierra's like, don't do it to me. I didn't do it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Whole Foods Market helps you save on everything you need for a delicious backyard barbecue, as I'm about to prove at my own home as I use Whole Foods again to cater a great outdoor party.

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So she's like, yeah, but he manipulated me. So sorry. And she goes, okay, but like, just be careful of the picture you paint. Cause like, I don't care about birthdays. Okay. I didn't even go to pages 30th and pages like that's true.

- Well, that's rude. The fuck is wrong with you? All right, now let's stop on Sierra. How do you not go to your best friend's 30th birthday party? That's fucking rude. Jeez. - Yeah. And he's like, "All right, I gotta move on. Okay, Lexi, I'm trying to get a sense of where you're at with Jesse. Are you mad at him?" - Really? Andy, are you at your own reunion? She's like, "Yeah, I am mad at him. And guess who else is?

There was so much playing people against each other. He may seem like you three girls didn't even like me. You're doing great, honey. You're doing great. You're the little lip liner. Okay, mom, thanks. She's reaching under the seat where her mom is. Okay, thanks.

A hand comes up between the cushions. It's just Tiffany. Did Andy even press Lexi on her relationship with her family last week? I don't remember. How do we not talk about this? How do you not ask about the creepiest fucking family on TV? Hey, why do you have a podcast with your mom called Six and Nine? That's fucking weird. And why do you talk about your sex tapes and shit? And why are you sleeping with your mom? And why is your sister and your mom at a sex club with your boyfriend at four in the morning?

We didn't need a segment of Kyle and Amanda talking about whether or not they're going to have a baby. No one cared about that. It wasn't even really discussed that much on the show. Why are we doing that instead of asking about this crazy family? That's what I want to know. Yeah, I want the family on so we can ask the mom, the dad and the sister why they're living off their baby. Yeah. How about that?

So Lexi is basically saying like, yeah, you made me turn the girls against me or made me turn against the girls. And she's like, no. And then you like made me cling on to him. He like made me cling on to him like even more because like then I was like, oh shit, like you're the only person that I actually feel like I have in this house. I'm like, I, again, I can see how he, he, he played those emotional cards to make her feel that way. But also like,

Why don't you go out there and try to talk with him and then you can see for real whether or not what he said was was true.

She's using, I think what's kind of bugging me is she's kind of using abusive, like she's using abuser language, like isolation. You know, she's like, you isolated me from all of my friends so that you could have more control over me in this way. And I think, you know, I think she's skating. And Jesse's like, what the hell? Like, you're making it sound like I'm this big manipulative mastermind. And Sierra goes, yeah, you're not smart. Yeah.

And so I think that's kind of what I need more of from Lexi. Like we need the women to know that these men are douchebags and be able to handle them instead of being like in their own lifetime movie. It's Jesse. Yeah. Okay. If Jesse is in a lifetime movie, I think the worst it's going to be about is him killing our eardrums with his terrible music and bad dad jokes. Yeah.

Yes. I mean, look, I do think that Jesse was overbearing and I do think he's manipulative, et cetera. And I think there probably is some truth to that. I don't think he was like a, like an evil mastermind, but I do think that he was, he does sort of get off in kind of like,

you know, telling different people, different things in the house, bring the information back and forth. I think it like it centers him in the drama. And I think that he does get off on that. But yeah, he's definitely not. He's definitely not like the husband and sleeping with the enemy for sure.

I mean, I don't think, I just think that they both do that. They both want to be with somebody who's all about them, who only talks to them. If he talks to anybody else, it's like, oh my God, how could you make me feel that way? He says he likes boobs. She's like, oh my God, that's my biggest insecurity. He said, you know, they both do this thing where they're like, how could you be talking to the girls like that instead of talking to me? They both kind of do this thing where it's like, why aren't you with me? Why aren't you with me? And then of course-

It blows up in both of their faces. Oh my God. I'm so glad this couple is fucking over. And she's probably also really mad because she's like, oh, like this show is about like girls hanging out in bed and gossiping. And I didn't get to do that because I spent all my time with this guy. And now I'm not like really the center of the show in that way. And I'm like mad at him about that.

Yeah, because they weren't like the center couple. Because normally the main couple gets all the attention and then the main breakup gets all the attention. And it just blew up in her face. And I know that she watched his show before she came on it. Of course she did. And she knows that the girls already had that relationship. So she had the path to choose when she came in. She could have been like one of the cool girls, hung out with them, casually dated somebody.

But instead she chose like, I'm going to go straight for the center relationship and breakup storyline of the season. And it's just, and now she's in the middle of the couch and it makes me laugh that Jesse and her both got stuck in the middle of the couch. I'm never going to get over it. I think it's one of the great Bravo wins of the season that they didn't give them first place.

i know there's really no reason for kyle and amanda to be first first notch on this reunion i'm sorry they did not deserve that spot so uh paige is like um jesse did you say to her like don't be friends with the girls because that would be hilarious and jesse's like no i wanted you to be friends i mean why would i not want you to be friends with them and i do believe that he did want that i think that jesse likes everyone to be friends

But the thing is, he may believe that he wants her to be friends, but then I do believe that he wanted to spend like every second with her. And so he didn't, he did kind of suffocate her. And so like to her, that read as like, you don't want me to, you're not letting me spend time with people. So, but.

whatever whatever i think i think they're mutual suffocators i think they're two little kids playing with dry cleaning bags over each other's heads and you know they're both gonna go at the end of the day uh so wes tries to stand up for him and he's like wait so did jesse say to not not be friends with them like amanda page and sierra but do be friends with gabby and lindsey because you did make friends so he didn't isolate you from everybody and she's like well he said that they're trying to break us up and they don't like us being together

And he goes, well, but those three and not these two. And I think what he's getting at is like Gabby is actively trying to get you to break up.

So what do you mean? Like, how are you saying you're isolated when you've got plenty of friends in the house? I think is what he means. And she's like, well, but like, he seemed like he knew so much and knew how to like move his way, you know? And like, all you guys did love him so much. - Oh yeah, he tried to big dog you because it was the second season, that was your first season.

I'm on season seven. I'm going to leave you bitches. So Lexi's like, yeah. And I was like completely alone because like Emeril, you're in and like, I mean, you're just you like whoring it up. She's like, you were supposed to be my ally. We're supposed to be newbies together. And like, you just were doing your thing.

And Paige is like, well, he's a guy, so it's different to fit in. And he's like, yeah, I mean, obviously we didn't connect the same way, you know. And like you said, toe gate happened. And then it was like this whole big thing. And she's like, yeah, so like I definitely cling to Jesse 100%. And like he says, it's miscommunication. But like I was like very gaslit. And like I was very isolated and manipulated. And like all of those things, like it's been like heartbreaking. It's been like literally heartbreaking. Yeah.

Maybe she's just mad at herself because maybe she clings on to too many life rafts. You know, she's got her, she is still clinging onto her family. And in her mind, it's like, we love each other so much. We always want to be around each other, but maybe that's actually more of a safety line.

than it is like really any more, more than just like, oh my God, we love being with each other. I mean, I'm sure they love being with each other, but it is a safety net. It's something very comforting and secure. And so when she meets Jesse and he's all about her, Jesse is something like comforting and secure. So she clings onto that and doesn't meet other people. But then I think on some level, she may know that like, this is her pattern. And she's like probably frustrated that she fell into this. I don't know. Just saying someone else is suffocating. You literally,

Ask for a commitment the first day and then introduce him to your family the second date. I mean, you're both suffocators. You're equal suffocators. But when she says I clung on to Jesse 100%, well, stop clinging on to people. Stop clinging.

So then Paige was like, okay, but like nobody didn't like you though. Like I hope like you didn't feel like we didn't like you. Like we don't like you now, but like we did like you then. Does that make sense? I know it's hard to follow the timelines, but like we did like you until you were terrible. We did like you. We were so impressed with the number of likes and subscribes that you had. We were like, this girl's going to be great. But then you didn't really hang out. So it was like we were unliked and unsubscribed. So I just want you to know that like we did like you for a small window of time.

- It's just so funny how I'm, that's how I felt about that. - Sorry, are you allergic to this Lexi storyline? - I think it's so funny how it was like team Lexi 100% until she started coming for Sierra. And now I'm like, fuck Lexi. And she's a suffocator.

Once I saw it turn to a girl I like, I'm like, that's not cool. That girl didn't do anything to you. So now I see you. But as far as the stuff she's saying about Jesse, I mean, I get it. I'm not going to stand up for Jesse. So then Amanda's like, oh my God, I wish.

wish that you like texted me or told me or something because i didn't know let's say yeah but i was like really gas and like abused so jesse's like well uh and you know look and the guys are such wusses too because the guys come on here and now all they do is their practiced bravo apologies where they're like well i could have been better and now let me see how i was taken like

Really gotta work on myself. And I would like him, whether he's right or wrong, to at least just say what he's really thinking and stop with these lie apologies and just be like, what are you talking about? You suffocated me too. You said this about the girls. You said this about him. Like, why is it all on me? I kind of need a little more fight back from Jesse. And I feel like all he's doing is just saying sorry so the audience will stop leaving him mean tweets and stuff.

And it's like grow a pair, dude.

I'm not sure he even understands really what happened still. I think he was like just really head over heels for her, but his own garbage got in the way of his relationship and he still was like, but why, why this even happened this way? He's like, I don't know. So then he's like, can I honestly just say like both of you just like really liked each other and like even though you would like break up and get back together, it was like so clear on the imagery and the funny part of that and the both of you were really into this thing and like for a myriad of reasons. And I'm like, wow, she used myriad. I'm surprised that everyone on the stage was like,

Myriad? What's that? I know. I was waiting for them to just like pause everything and just put on Jeopardy music while we watched everybody try and figure that out. Lindsay Dale Hubbard, will you marry me for a myriad of reasons? Lindsay Dale Hubbard, you just got the Myriad contract. Congratulations.

So she's like, yeah, you know, I think Lindsay's like, well, I think that you were like worried that he was making you look stupid and he was worried that you were making him look stupid. And in the end, you were just worried about what other people thought. And you were just worried about metrics, basically, which Lindsay gets.

Lindsay almost married Carl for the fucking, the fucking influence, influencer, Marshall's paycheck. So Andy, everyone's like clapping. Everyone's like, wow, Lindsay, Lindsay with the therapy is finally kicking in. It's like, wow. Hey, and even girls clapping for you.

Kyle's like, yeah, it was actually really good. It was a really good read. What I liked about it was it was nice, but it was also soft. It was a soft read. I liked it. Kyle's like, actually, I was just saying the same thing last week. I'm like, shut up, Kyle. He's like, how can she say it, but I can't say it. I said it first. And they're like, um, Kyle, when you said it, it was mansplaining. So shut up. I wasn't running the other Thunder. I was just saying I did your Thunder better.

So, Annie's like, "Alright, well, do the two of you see a possibility of a friendship in the future?" "Well, I tried to create a friendship with Lexi, so I feel like we never really got the opportunity to do that over the summer, so it's not really my decision." "Okay, how are you, Lexi?" "No, I'm good." She's like, "Yeah."

So he's like, okay, well, your storyline's over. Okay, bye, Emeril. Don't know why you're still here. Thank you. Round of applause for Emeril and his penis. Goodbye, Emeril. Bye. Apparently, we have someone here named Emeril who is going to say goodbye to him. Is that a PA who worked for us? Thank you for your three months of service, PA. No, it's not. Oh, it's a cast member. Emeril, are you sure? He's not a PA, but he probably is a PAW.

Okay, let's take a break, everybody. So they go on break and then Lexi reaches over to Sierra and she's like, I'm truly sorry. Like, I really didn't mean for you to get caught in the crossfire. Like, he just like did so many things that made me feel like you were into him. And she keeps doing this thing. But then she goes on Nick Vile in like a week or two to say all the same shit against Sierra that she was saying before. So bye, Lexi.

Yeah. So then Kyle is talking to Jesse backstage. Yeah. And Jesse's like, I don't know, dude, she's projecting what she's feeling that shit. And I just never did that. Yeah. It sucks. You know, I love her boy. So then meanwhile, Lexi's talking to the girls and she's like, yeah, I'm just like really, really sorry. Sierra. Sierra's like, yeah. Um, yeah. Okay. I appreciate that. I just hate press and I hate media. Probably never going to talk to you again. Yeah. I just want to reassert all summer, like 1000% we were

We were like, we like Lexi. She's so interesting. We probably will never talk to her, but she's a cool thought experiment. All summer long is what we felt. And Lexi's like, yeah, but because it was like pitting us against each other, like off camera, like I really did think that you didn't like me. Lexi, if you sense that they didn't like you, let me tell you something.

They didn't like you. They didn't. I don't care what they say on the show that they're like, we didn't like you, Lexi. And I don't think they were ever mean to Lexi, but I don't think they liked Lexi. I think they looked at Lexi like a dumb twit who just came and made her whole life about some man. And they were like, okay, just be nice to the new girl. You know, I think they look at her as like,

Kind of a young dummy. And they're like, okay, here comes this new girl on our show. Let's be nice to her. Like, let's not mean girl her and just watched her dig a hole with this douchebag. And they told her she he's a douchebag, but they let her do it. And then they're just all kind of watching, but I don't think they really liked her either.

I think they had the same impression that the audience had, which is like, who is this child who is in this house now? Because Lexi is only like two or three years younger than some of the other cast members. But she reads as like a little teenager. And I think it's not just that she's small in stature. I think it's truly the energy she puts out, the way she talks, the way she...

She handles herself and it just is not a culture fit with the house. And I think that was the big issue. And I think you're right. I think they made a conscious effort to not be a mean girl to her because they don't, they don't want to be that way, but you could tell no one really connected with Lexi and it's not really Jesse's fault.

Yeah, agreed. So I don't think they did like her, but they were as nice to you as they had to be. And so now she's upset because she's kind of failed on all levels here. And so Gabby, you know, who doesn't really do great with this cast either, just sits there and holds her hand now for the next hour. And she's like, you did great. You did great. Like, he's not even worth one single tear. Don't you worry about it. You count that. It's like, no, no, no, no one knows me.

And Gabby's holding her hand. And like, you're not even joking. Every time, they're not even talking about Lexi or anything pertaining to Lexi. And they'll cut to Lexi and you see Gabby still holding her hand like, you got this. You got this. I want to have a baby. You got this, Lexi. You got this, Lexi. You got this. Like, Lexi just went through war. Okay? Like, they're acting like Lexi just came back from a six-year tour. And it's like, girl, you had a...

bad relationship with a douchebag. Why are we acting like this is going to traumatize you for life? She's like, oh my God, I need all the support I can get. Jesse's not even saying anything. You are overplaying. It did traumatize her for life.

- It did traumatize her. Remember when they broke up and she was like, "I can't trust people anymore because of you." - This morning I thought someone stole my lip liner. - Oh, I did take it honey, but it was no harm, no foul. Here you go. - Oh, thanks mom. - You got this Lexi. You got your lip liner back. You can do the rest. So Andy's like, "All right." - You earned that lip liner. You should be called line lipper 'cause you're so supportive of that goddamn lip liner.

got this got it all right well we're back with the gag from snow morass okay we're not even gonna do it fun and games to kick off our second episode all right history has proven that you don't ever want to see lindsey hubbard activated we will not show a clip of that because we have to cram everything else into the latinx 45 minutes so after showing up yeah she's pregnant she's pregnant so

So, hey, a mouse from Massachusetts says, okay, Jesse, care to explain your stink face reaction to Lindsay being pregnant? And he's like, um, I mean, I think Lexi knows. Like, we were super happy. I was just surprised. Like, I mean, a minute ago, she's ready to marry Carl, and next summer, she shows up and she's pregnant by another guy. I was just, like, surprised. You got this, Lexi. You got it, Lexi. It's okay. You got it, Lexi.

Jesse's like, yeah, but also it's like your story. It was like four score and eight years ago we did this and this. I was like, where the fuck is this going? Okay, person releasing a new useless song every day on Instagram. I don't think you're the one to get to criticize how much nonsensical BS people are piping into the feed. Yeah. Here comes one right now.

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well carl when you heard about lindsey's announcement you thought what well i mean i was happy for her i was surprised i mean i'll take it one day at a time it was a lot for me but yeah i was like legitimately happy for her especially as you can see when i was like you know

basically questioning her and seeing how she was really humiliated. It was like a baby of humiliation. It's an embarrassed baby. But I heard about the rumors and the things, and I'm just praying for her. I'm praying for her. I'm so happy for her that I pray for her every day. I'm genuinely happy for her and her embarrassment, baby. All right. Battery. Duracell battery from Beth By says...

You were nice to Carl's face, Gabby, that first weekend, but then you had a lot to say about him behind his back. Were you trying to make Lindsay feel better? Do you really feel Carl contributes nothing to the house? This is horrible. Oh my God, this flashback was horrible. They show Gabby talking to Lindsay and she's like...

Stupid fucking Carl. The stupid hair. Those big stupid teeth. What even are those? What is he, a beaver? What is he, building a dam? I hate his stupid teeth. And his eyes? What are they made out of? Buttons? Buttons that are made out of poop? Ooh, I hate him. And he smells. Ew. He's like a broken down van missing a wheel. Gross. Who wants to be with Carl? Disgusting. He wakes up at 7 a.m. to go to Barry's boot camp. More like Barry's stupid camp, okay? Because he's the only thing stupid every time he comes back. Gross.

So we come back and Gabby's like, um, I was just like trying to gas up my girlfriends because that's what you got this Lexi. Don't worry about it. You got this. And I'm like where I'm from. Like you stand up for your girlfriends by dissing the guy. But you know, I do call Carl, you know, I like him. Like he's, I feel bad about it. I apologize to his teeth. Like I call this teeth. They have their own burner phone, which is crazy, but I did call them and I apologize to them.

Yeah. You know, the best part about his teeth is that I always know if my hair looks good because I always just check it out in the reflection. And so Carl's like, yeah, she actually texted me about that moment, which I really appreciated. She sent me an emoji of a tooth and then an emoji of an up arrow, which I think meant big teeth and

I think that was an apology. I'm not really sure, actually. Yeah, she sent me a teeth emoji followed by a lady that was cleaning, like, teeth made. So I was like, wow, my teeth are really made now. Like, she likes my teeth now. She's like, I meant your teeth need the cleaning. But you're welcome. Did you ever think about that if you line up, like, a bunch of iPhones and have them all take, like, a flash photo together, it sort of looks like Carl's teeth?

So Carl is like, yeah, she's like cool. And like, I mean, definitely like, I was like a little disappointed. I hear a lot like, you know, more about the teeth thing. Cause it's, you know, it's probably on me. Cause like, I don't think you're all fully aware. My teeth are, well, I've had dental issues since I was eight years old. I got hit in the face with Turner in the shape of a hockey stick from my brother. My brother hit me in the face with a hockey stick.

And I took a baseball to the face after that. And after that, a Frisbee to the face, football to the face, a treat to the face, another baseball, hockey, another hockey stick, nice skate, went to the zoo, a koala fell on my face. A lot of things hit my face. Broke my teeth. - I love the Carl, Carl's sad monologue. I'm like, "Cue up the violence." He's like, "I've always been insecure about my teeth."

Once I ate an apple and I bit right into the seed. Ow, ow, oh, oh. Once, one time, I got popcorn kernels stuck in my teeth. One time I was like, hey, mom, look, before you add that butter to the popcorn, let's put it on my teeth instead. And then my teeth have been yellow ever since then. It's a lot, I'm really insecure about it. But he talks about how much it sucks because his whole first season he was made fun of for his yellow teeth. Okay, guilty. We're guilty, okay? I'm going to just confess.

I know that was us, but our joke was that you were selling dental equipment and you had like brown teeth. Like our only point was brush your teeth. And he's like, come on, guys. I mean, back in season one, I was brushing my teeth with a comb. And then they showed a clip of him brushing his teeth with a comb. I didn't even remember that.

- Yeah, really, we did, I think, lay a lot of trauma for this cast 'cause we were the only ones recapping the show slash watching it. So they heard everything that we said. And like, there was, I made some really catty comment once about Lindsay's boobs. And then she like mentioned it like, "Someone said that my boobs like this." And I was like, "Oh, that was me."

But the truth is this. We never made fun of the shape of Carl's teeth or the fact like we just made fun of the fact that they were yellow, which is, by the way, something you can do something about it with the supplies that you're selling. OK, because guess what? I have like yellow teeth, too. And then I went and I brushed my teeth and then it's fixed.

Well, that was kind of the joke was it's like he's not a good salesman, right? Because that was Carl's storyline the whole first until really now. It's probably still the storyline that he keeps getting these jobs where he's not really doing a good job. He's a salesman, but he's not selling it. And we're like, well, this is one of the reasons you can't be selling like yellow teeth.

- Yeah. Anyway, that was really rude. But I think the deeper point is to anybody on these shows, don't listen to this or anybody. Like you shouldn't be listening. The internet is so fucking horrible and mean, and I would never talk like this to somebody's face. I do it 'cause I'm talking to my best friend on the phone basically, but- - Listen, you were not saying it to someone's face. You were saying it to someone's charter, okay?

Right. And I know I'm not arrogant enough to really think he's talking about us. I just mean that I was one of those people who had those conversations, but stop being traumatized by the audience. Like, how are you still on this show and listening to the audience? I think the only people who can last on shows like this are the people who are like, I don't listen to that shit. Like someone said, Stevie Nicks, this is so random, but Stevie Nicks was talking about how she had a conversation with Katy Perry and Katy Perry was like,

oh my God, but like, how do you deal with people being mean to you on the internet? And she's like, I don't have the fucking internet. What do I care? I'm not on Twitter. And then she's like, yeah, but like, who are your rivals? Because you know, like if so-and-so says something bad about me and then I say something back, it'll get like all this engagement. And she's like,

I don't have rivals. That's an internet thing, girl. Get off the internet and live your life. Like get over yourself, you know? And I fucking love Stevie Nicks anyway, but I hope anybody on these shows listens to Stevie Nicks because don't put yourself in the line of fire like that. People are monsters, you know? Yeah. So be more like Stevie Nicks. Be more like Stevie Nicks. Listen to Stevie Nicks. Get rid of your Twitter. But also if you do take one thing from it, like I,

you know, it was good. He had very yellow teeth, so yellow that it read on TV and he fixed it. No, but here's the thing. It led to this path of destruction because first he got his teeth fixed. Then he got veneers, but then the veneers were too big for his teeth. So then everybody made fun of his chiclet teeth. So then he got the veneers fixed a little, but then they were...

way too bright. So they were making fun of him, like putting pictures of Ross's teeth from friends when he got a bleaching. And now, you know, he got his teeth fixed again, but now his face looks weird because he's sober and he just looks different. And his face got skinnier. And so now everyone's like, he looks like a meth-y zombie now. It's like the guy just can't win. You try and fix one thing. In other words, no matter what you do to please other people, they'll find something else to bitch about. So don't try to please other people.

- Just live in your yellow teeth glory, okay? Just be yellow.

There's nothing wrong with yellow. It's a great color. If you like yellow, then do yellow. But if you want to fix it, fix it. But don't do it for other people because you just can never win that way. Honestly, I'm not going to give Carl a pep talk about his teeth. I think, like, of course it's never nice to receive it. Well, that was a general talk to anybody who cares about what they say online, including... Yeah, no, it's never nice to hear. I mean, that's why I've never done reality TV. Not that I really had too many choices. I don't want to hear people... I've been keeping them off with the bat over here. Like, Ronnie, please!

Please, please, Ronnie. That's why I've turned on so many invitations. We need to walk around our home goods. I don't need people talking about my bad posture or my skinny, fat body. I know that's what would happen, and I know I would feel really bad about it. And we are monsters. But I think that in the case of Carl, it's actually very fixable stuff. So you just fix it and move on.

I just love that Carl's mini breakdown turned into mine. I was like, oh my God, what is my karma? What have I done in this life? What am I doing today? What am I doing right now?

But also, by the way, let's not get away from what this is really about, which is that Carl was being really passive aggressive at a fucker. And Gabby is like, you know what? Fuck this guy. This guy is so like whatever. And she guesses up Lindsay as she should. And then, of course, Carl's like, yeah, actually like really hard because like teeth is like my trauma. And like you really like you don't understand.

Well, I had a Nerf boomerang and it hit me in the face. And it's like, I've been really self-conscious about my teeth ever since then. So he turned it into yet another like Carl, woe is me, Carl moment. And I'm actually kind of shocked because,

that that was not one of your takeaways, Ronnie. Well, it was one of my takeaways because of course I groaned when he did it. So I was like, of course, now we're going to go into a Carl trauma, which makes you way worse because Carl was traumatized. And that's Carl's thing. You know, we all know he's been doing it for years. He just did it for multiple seasons with Lindsay. You know, it's like anything time Carl, time Carl is called out on anything. It's like, oh, but here's my trauma. Yeah.

of addiction it's like oh for fuck's sake could just do the dishes you know what I mean

One time a fly landed on my upper lip and my mom swatted out it and didn't see me there and took a fly swatter right to the teeth. So it's a lot of trauma. You're doing great, Lexi. The teeth of trauma. I've got a mouth of trauma. That's why it hurts. She's like, okay, sorry. So then, um, Carl is still going on about his teeth and, uh, and Andy almost goes, well, you know, like what I'm looking at now is definitely an improvement, which is probably not the thing to say. Uh,

But everyone's like, yeah, we love your teeth now, Carl. Great job, Carl.

They look great. They look great, Carl. Because everyone's always afraid with Carl. He's always like, he's always like so delicate. Like they always need to prop him up with every single thing. Yeah. Poor Carl. It's always poor Carl. So then it gets to Lindsay was nice to you about your brother's death. So what about that? The anniversary of your brother's death. And he's like, I mean, oh yeah, I was with Lindsay. So like, I mean, the situation sucks, but like that was touching. That was touching. Which brings me to a trauma. Oh,

of the time I hit my ankle on a subway platform and thought really hurt. And so it reminded me of that. It was a really beautiful moment that Lindsay pulled me aside and we all appreciate that. It's just unfortunate that at that very moment I was so distracted by Lindsay's kind words that a ping pong ball hit me right in the face. And...

Which is why I broke up with my kid. So Andy's like, so why'd you go up and be nice to him in the club, Lindsay? And she's like, because I'm not a monster. And his brother and I. And Andy's like, oh, wow, Carl, what did you think? And Carl's like, that meant a lot, Lindsay. It meant so much. So...

uh he's like so are you gonna be friends again lindsay and lindsay's like oh my no no not there yet sorry so now we talk about turner and the turner's the new guy and it's ted turner we all know it and ted turner learned from being with marlo on real housewives of atlanta that he does not want to have to buy more reality stars townhomes so he's not coming on this show

Yeah, so how's Turner adjusting to father? Like, he's like so much better than I could have expected. And he's like, so the three of you do not live together. No. Well, we put our romantic relationship on pause. And then everyone has to be like, oh, my God. Even though no one I don't think anyone even believed that there was a romantic relationship, but they just have to pretend like they're all shocked.

Yeah, so she says that they're just focused on being the best parents to Gemma ever. And, you know, she's extremely famous and he's not. And it's very difficult because he doesn't want to be public.

And she doesn't want to be public. She's like, "I just gotta fix it in ad and my teeth all stay in." Sorry, Carl, but it's true. And Turner does not want me gluing teeth into my baby. And that's a problem. Like when am I allowed to profit on the baby? - Mommy is public, daddy is private. What does that make me? So we decided baby's public and private. So you'll see baby's face, but you'll never see her left arm. Sorry.

I think this fight is about Lindsay trying to sell. I suspect this fight is about Lindsay trying to sell, you know, ad space for the baby. Like, you know, sponsorships and like, you know, babies are us or whatever. On the baby itself. Yeah. She's like trying to sell little tattoos on the baby that are like Ford.

It's like when people wrap their cars with an ad, like Adriana's insurance, she's gonna have like the baby, like a little, like Bjorn, baby Bjorn, that's gonna have like branding all over it. - Yes, like the bike riders in Austin, like people who ride bikes in Austin, like dress professionally and then they ride around with sponsors all over themselves. Like girl, you're on the shoulder of the freeway, can you stop?

It's not the Autobahn or whatever. So yeah, but anyway, they're having problems with that. So they're still just friends, but basically couples because he still sleeps there half the week, but they don't have sex. But everyone's like, yeah, we see them all the time and they act like a couple. And she's like, well, we kind of are. We're parents, but we're not together. Yeah. So Andy's like, so what would you say to the Lindsay Hubbard of nine years ago? Like, what do you wish that she knew then that you know? Well,

I would say you just have to trust the universe and that there's going to be a lot of sandwiches without mayo and it's not going to go the way you plan or think it's going to go because you're going to go into a world of reps and you're going to be okay with that because you'll get a baby out of it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so that's hers. You know, she's like, trust the universe. So, well, Lindsay bounced back last year at lightning speed. Carl was a different animal when he wasn't giving lemur energy. I don't know what that means because I don't watch this show, but that's funny. Madagascar. God, I love that show. You really do look like the lemur from Madagascar. All right. Well, unfortunately, I was tripped by Madagascar on my way into a Whole Foods and never forgotten it.

That's why I only drive electric cars, no more gas cars, because I'm mad at gas cars. So he asked about Liv. Let's talk about everyone's favorite amateur magician, Lil. Sorry, I've been calling her Liv. Lil. I really appreciate that, because she does make me want to live. We've got life, more life, but she's Lil.

So Carl's like, yeah, well, honestly, I just thought she had a hot body and a cute face. Which is funny because like what attracted you to live? She was hot. Also, I fucked her parents at a soccer game and that was pretty hot. So I figured she would be pretty good. Oh, she wasn't. She gave me 11.

Well, I think this also speaks so much about Carl. I mean, it's not wrong to be attracted to someone because they're hot, you know, and you're attracted to their body and everything. But I feel like, and I would have to go back to confirm this, but I feel like the story that was peddled to us was, she seemed really cool, and she really understood my journey, and she's really into magic, and she's just someone who likes me for me. And then when asked about it again at the reunion, yeah, she's hot. So that just shows Carl's still Carl.

But he likes to present like, I'm deeper now. I care about the person on the inside. No, you just care about her body, which is fine. But like, stop trying to act like you're deeper than you are. Yeah. Yeah. I thought he was mean to live. I mean, live is a little fruit. Lil. Lil. You bring Lil on and then you just make her look. I mean, she kind of made herself look stupid, too. But I didn't like how he was like, oh, she's just like, she gave me a lemon. Oh, gross. She's dead to me now. Wait, hold on a second, Ronnie. Hold on. Hold on.

You're doing great, Lexi. Come on, stay in there. You're doing great. I'm just like so traumatized. Jesse manipulated Lil. I wanted to get to know Lil and I couldn't even have a chance to get to know Lil.

Lil totally thought I hated her. So Andy's like, so did it bother you that Carl had this girl at the house? And she's like, um, no, because I wasn't at my house that weekend. But it did annoy me watching it because he said, where I conceived my daughter...

Because Carl was like, oh, she conceived her daughter in the bed I paid for. And she's like, I did not conceive my daughter in a bed. I conceived her on a taco. It was a hammock in the shape of a taco. Turner did me on a taco. So Amanda's like, so you're pulling a Turner and keeping it private? Yeah, because I don't need to tell you guys where I conceived my baby. That's an exclusive for People Magazine. Yeah.

So he's like, oh, I'm responsible for my words. And I'm very sorry for that. I'm so, so sorry. So now, Kyle, what's different about Lindsay now? And.

than when you started. And he's like, yeah, you know, oh no, sorry, it's about Carl. And Carl's like, yeah, you know, like going back to like when I first knew Carl, like everything with Carl was disguised, but you know, like you would like pretend to be somebody who's not because he's on like, you know, substances. But now Carl's just pretending to be someone who's not based on like Instagram likes. So I'm just really proud of him. Really proud of him.

Amanda's like, yeah, it's really cool to see how happy you are. Yeah, ha ha. I'm really happy. Carl does not seem happy at all. He seems like a shell of something. He seems like he's gone. He's just like sitting there trembling on the sofa now, especially that he's like remembering all his teeth trauma of childhood. Yeah, but I've been like, you guys have both been like really supportive and kind of pushing me in the right way. So I appreciate it. But next time, like try not to push me on the tooth because a lot of, a lot of dental trauma. Yeah.

So Sierra's like, yeah, we love you. Don't ever change. Even with your stupid jokes. Just stay dead-eyed, pony boy. Stay dead-eyed. Hey, guys. I know we need to talk about Kyle and Amanda some more. Let's talk about that. Do they want to have a baby? Should they have a baby? When are they going to have a baby? When are they going to have a baby, guys? So they go through their whole...

You got this, Lexi. So Kyle works too much. Amanda doesn't want to have a baby with the guy who works too much. But Kyle doesn't want to stop working because he needs to work. They want to sell Loverboy, but they can't sell it. So he's stuck there. And I don't think...

It's real what I mean, I think the real issue Probably for me would be if I was Amanda the guy works all day and then he's decided to be a DJ to give him in itself an excuse to go be wasted in bars flirting with chicks and fans of the show Blubbering all over him until 4:00 in the morning every single night and that's not cool I'm not having a baby with some fucking douchebag. There's possibly out fucking fans all night Yeah

And he knows that they have a baby. They're moving to New Jersey. So they're really trying to push off the inevitable here. Yeah. So they don't say it. They both go through it like, it's this work. It's work, work. But he's not ready to change his ways. And he held Lindsay's baby. And this, by the way, took 20 minutes of the reunion. 20 minutes that we could have been spent. They could have spent been asking...

It's not even speaking English. Could have been asking Lexi about her family, which honestly, like I do not care about Kyle and Amanda's baby journey right now because there is no journey. So he has sperm. There's no journey. We've it's kind of the same thing with Amanda and Kyle for years and years. Amanda is willing to put up with this and that's what she's going to get.

I still can't believe that she married Kyle. I thought her parents were going to throw her in a van and get her out of there. But here we go. And they applaud Amanda for her mental health journey and all that stuff. And Lindsay talks about how postpartum was hard and it was a lot to deal with. And she's like, I'm strong. But this is going to be controversial, but I don't care.

Amanda's mental health... Here's what Amanda's mental health journey is. I'm not happy. This man is not giving me what I want. So I'm going to start taking...

that will help me be okay with that. So now she's been drugged up enough that she's taking up, I don't mean drugged up, but you know what I mean. She's gotten herself medicated and she's talked to a therapist and now she's gotten herself to the place where she's just going to be okay and just be like, whatever. He can do whatever he wants. If it works out, it works out. I don't think ultimately that's taking care of her mental health. I know she's feeling better, but I think

She's going to need to get what she wants. She deserves to have a family. And if he's not ready, she needs to get the fuck out of there. I think this is just all temporary mental health fix. I think ultimately she's got to fix her situation. And it's not going to be just like sitting there putting up with whatever Kyle wants for another 10 years.

Yeah. I mean, that is, that is an interest. That's a, yeah. I mean, I think she should fix her situation. Cause I think that ultimately she and Kyle, it appears that they have different wants and that is ultimately something that will continue to haunt their relationship from what it seems like seeing them on TV outside in. But I also think that like, I think that she, it's like both, it could be both things that she is on a mental health journey and she has to deal with that stuff.

I think she is on a mental health journey and I think she is feeling better. I'm not denying any of that. I'm just saying she's feeling better because she's, she's learned to kind of take what she's been given instead of being like,

I think it's like sunken cost fallacy. We've had this discussion for a decade now about Amanda and Kyle. It's like she's already put in this time, so she's going to just stay with them and hope that once the show's over and once the Loverboy is sold, it's all going to be different. But then she says even in this, what I'm thinking, which is, but then I'm worried that even when all of this is done and you sell Loverboy, you're just going to get involved in something else.

which is going to keep you out all night in clubs getting shit-faced. You're going to find some other reason to do it, and that's true. And I think he's nice. I mean, I like Kyle, and I like Amanda, but I just...

If she's going to ever truly fix that mental health, she's going to have to fix this and get out of it unless he does what she needs. Yeah. Well, it's more like not so much fix the mental health. If she wants to, I think, find true happiness. Yes. That's what it is. And yeah, I do. I'm with you in this. I like actually both as much shit as we give both of them. I really actually enjoy Kyle and Amanda quite a bit. And but I do. I am very concerned that there are fundamental issues

with their relationship that I think they're hoping will just sort of get fixed and resolved. And like, we've seen it happen too many times where those things never quite come together. And yeah, it's going to be,

It's funny. We're like, we don't want to talk about Kyle and Amanda anymore. And welcome to the next half hour. So then we see all the guys at break meeting the baby. And they're like, so, Carl, you met the baby. And he's like, oh, yeah, briefly. Just like a little hello for afar. I said, hello, you sleep in the crib? I bought you. Hope you enjoyed that. Because, yeah, Gemma said, fuck off. Yeah, I picked up on that energy when Gemma threw a rattle at my teeth.

And long story short, I'll be seeing the oral surgeon tomorrow. So then we now it's time to let's get to the main event, which is like Paige talking about Craig. So Andy's like, Craig, the season alpha males, Kyle and Craig face off over the manliest topic you can imagine. Spritz cocktails. So we saw that again. And Andy's like, do you think you fought too hard for Craig in that page? She's like,

No, because it was hilarious to me. And I do anything that's funny. But he was my boyfriend. And I thought I always fought very hard for him. And I always tried to protect him. Someone said something bad about him. So I'm like, yeah, I would go at them. Like he was my focus. So I'd be like, ew. Like I know, like I would always defend him. And then like in private, I'd be like, you know, like what you did was wrong. And I had to defend you because you were my boyfriend. Ew, gross. Disgusting.

Yeah, so she's saying she defended him, but told him in private he was wrong. And she doesn't even know if he was lying about the business stuff, because every time he talked to her about it, it was different. And Kyle's like, yeah, I mean, like, I mean, I was trying to take the high road, but I have like literally text after text of him just lie after lie. Receipts galore. I like that Amanda's like, yeah, Kyle was like upset. He would wake up in the middle of the night and just start freaking out and rocking back and forth.

really worried. Spritz really, really brings stress into Kyle's life. Kyle, she said that he would sit on the edge of the bed and be like, which is so funny because I think we can all imagine Kyle doing that. I also, I have to say, I think that's like, he needs to go rinse out his nose. I think,

I think what's more refreshing than a spritz is this return to the narrative that Craig is a liar, which has been obviously like throughout this season. But this was like a big part of Craig's story on Southern Charm for many seasons. And then it kind of like went away. And then Craig is like, I'm reformed. I don't drink anymore.

I like planting flowers. And people really forgot that Craig is just like a pathological liar, especially because really the emphasis has been on Shep and Austin being the disasters lately. And this was really a great reminder that Craig spent so much of our time watching him on Bravo blatantly lying to

us and the people on his show so it's just so wonderful to like have a full 100 commitment back to the idea like craig is a liar we've caught him in lies we have the receipts it's so it's so big we don't have to bring out the receipts because it's just a known fact amongst us that he is a liar i thought that was fun well and it's also when did craig when did craig start to repair his reputation when he started dating page immediately a hundred like she started doing that clean up

And that's always kind of been my annoyance with her on this, in this couple. It's like, stop presenting Craig like he's this thing. Like he changed his whole, all that reputation you just mentioned was Paige working behind the scenes. Like, here's what you do now. Here's the planter you buy. Here's the this. I think that was a big part of Paige doing it. And so my question was always like,

But isn't that page lying? Because everybody's like, no, Paige would never lie. And I've always looked at it as page lying. Even if it's lying, I think it's normal to lie about your partner and deal with things privately. But the whole Amanda and Kyle wedding thing, I always thought was kind of shitty, the way that that handled. They blamed Lindsay for leaking that story. And did she ever get an apology for that? I'm still waiting for that. But yeah.

And she says it now. She's like, well, I was in a couple with a guy. And so I was glad this was being addressed because she's like, I was in a couple with a guy. And so, of course, I'm going to try to protect him and make him look better and take care of it in private.

I think I, I, my take is a little different than yours, which is that I, I don't think that like page was, and maybe I'm misinterpreting what you're saying. I don't think page was like, this is what you have to do to look good. Like you have to do this and this and this. I think it was more like, why are you acting like that? Like being adult? Like it's more like she, like I think she in that relationship was presenting her standards of what she expects out of a boyfriend. And like, and especially as he was trying to probably be more professional, she probably was like,

if you want to be professional, you can't be doing this stuff. You have to like, you have to like go and like, yeah, I agree with that. Like a human. So I don't think it was like a lady like Beth, but I think she probably was like, um, you need to get with the program either with me or with your audience. If you're trying to do X, Y, and Z. Well, I think she's very good. She's very good at curating the personality that she shows. And I just think that's smart. I don't really think it's malicious, but,

But I think she's good at that. And I think if she's with Craig, like you said, she's helping him with his too. But yeah, I think his whole reputation is her cleaning him up and being like, you can't act like this. Yeah, I interpreted what you said. And maybe this is an error on my part. I'm responsible for my own words. I took it as like there was a Lady Macbeth quality to it. And I see her doing that stuff, but not from some sort of like...

Lady Macbeth was trying to control him for her own good. And I don't think she was trying to control Craig for her own good. It's nothing like that. I just think she's very aware of personality. She's like a politician to me. She's very good at controlling image, I think. And so I think that she did that for him. That's all. It's a compliment, really. Yeah.

saying she's wonderful but there's been a lot of moments where i'm like come on you're just lying about craig craig obviously was coked up at this wedding like i believed all those rumors that were coming out at the time and when paige was yelling at everybody else about being a liar i'm like but you're lying because you're with craig and so you're lying about all this stuff with craig

so you know what's up though is that that wedding was a while ago to see her be able to be honest about it now in other words yes i agree and and what sucks is that that wedding was a while ago she and so that was relatively i would say that's relatively early on in their relationship that she was already having to lie on cover for him i mean we saw it in winter house too and like that sucks that's a lot of time to be put in that situation i'm surprised she actually didn't bail earlier

um and that's that's gotta be gotta take a toll on you like to to have someone that's you're constantly having to like cringe when they start to drink or cringe in public situations and

having to like have it, especially when I do think that like her brand is authenticity. Like that's like the vibe is like we go and I sit in the bed and I talk and like say it how it is and to know that you have to like actually lie for someone. And like, that's gotta be like, that's gotta be really, that's gotta be sucky. And I had to weigh on her for a few years. But why do you have to do that? You don't have to, but you wind up in these, sometimes it with people, you wind up in situations where you feel like,

You like the person a lot. So you're like, oh, and then, you know, so I can see how she got kind of like roped into that. And it just sucks. It sucks that she got roped into that into that path. And I believe if we're really to go back, I believe the same thing happened with her and Perry or Perry, whatever his name was from her second season on the show.

Yeah, where she's trying to protect Perry and stuff and keep him off TV and he didn't want to be on TV and then trying to protect his controlling ways and all of that stuff. And we never even saw Perry. He sucked. She basically was nowhere that season and that could have totally derailed her entire life because she could have maybe not gotten invited back. Yeah. Fucking Perry. I can score. So, you know, were you wrong about him being a liar? No.

And Kyle's like, no, I was just trying to take the high road. You know, because we see the clip of...

I love Craig in the pirate hat, just lying his ass off. And be like, well, you can't do this to me. I'm going to like not serve your alcohol in all of my 37, I mean, two stores of pillows, my pillow stores. We'll see when I, we'll see how you feel when I take your lover boy out of my pillow stores. Yeah. And Kyle's basically like, he's like, yeah, well, he would always say one thing and I'll be like, okay. Yeah. Uh,

Like, okay, I'm doing this, but I want to run by you. Oh, wait, I already ran this by my, I've got run up by my business partner. Oh, wait, they are already doing this. We're going to do this because they're not doing tea. And then it turns out that they are doing tea. So it was just like a line of, it's like a stream of bullshit from Craig to Kyle. And he just was over it the entire time. And Craig unfollowed anybody who doesn't support him or anybody who's not team lover spritz or whatever he's doing, spritz social or whatever his thing is.

So, um, Kyle's like, yeah. And once they broke up, Paige commented team lover boy on something. And like that really touched me. And she's like, oh my God, please don't cry. God, your tears, your tears are flammable. Okay. Please. You, you literally cry ever clear. Please don't cry. So now this, so, uh, well, Paige, for the past couple of years, you've been adamant that rumors of the Craig getting kicked out of Kyle and Amanda's wedding were untrue, but literally,

you want to change that story now? And she's like, okay. So what I was fighting about last year at the reunion was that Danielle sent the story to a blogger and like, I just was fighting because I was just so mad that I had to even talk to Danielle. So I was just angry at her. And we see a clip to Danielle talking about how she sent this thing to the blogger or whatever. But,

But she's like, now, was he asked not to return to the backyard? Absolutely. Absolutely. Lexi, are you okay over there? I see you're really clenching on to Gabby's hand. Are you okay with the story? It's just that I was manipulated. Okay. So anyway, so the next morning I woke up and I said, you better apologize to the Petulas. And he refused. And I was mortified. And he was belligerently drunk. He was causing a scene. He was kicking tables. He was yelling at people.

Break up with him. Why did she not break up with him right then and there? How do you stay with that? I'm sorry to stand by what I said then. It's hard to respect staying with that. Sorry. I do wonder. That's crazy that she didn't dump him right then and there. I do wonder what was holding her back at that moment.

gross. So she's like, yeah, you know, I've never had a lot of my entire life. But then all of a sudden with Craig, I had to be like, oh, he wasn't that drunk or he didn't mean it. And, you know, it's overwhelming and tiring. And so Sierra, of course, knew there were problems. And so then we get the breakup story. So Andy's like, well, he told me the reunion story.

for Southern Charm that it was Thanksgiving break, but he didn't think that you were actually broken up. And she's like, oh no, let me tell you. He was in my house on Thanksgiving Thursday. He left Friday. I broke up with him that Sunday, December 10th, the day he was on Watch What Happens Live. He came over that night and we had an in-person discussion. And it's not like I just called him up and said, see ya. Like we had a phone call and then we saw each other. And then in a timely fashion at the end of January, I mailed his things back.

I do have a question about that. How is that like a timely fashion? End of January? This all happened like over Thanksgiving. Why do you even want Craig's stuff in your apartment for that long? Because that's when she announced it. Because I think that they were keeping it. I think they were keeping it like copacetic until it wasn't.

Because he was like, I need time and I want to announce it like this. I don't want to have to go on press and have all these discussions about the breakup. And she's like, OK, fine, I'll announce it when you're ready. And then he's out doing whatever he wants. And she's like, oh, no, fuck this guy. I'm getting rid of him at the New Year. And she sent all his shit back.

at the end of january she's like um yeah i'm getting the cricket machine out of here it's haunting me so um uh well it could take me as long as it takes me if i have to ship all your to you you know and i know that's actually true especially in new york oh my god i'm really bad with mail i'm really bad with opening mail and sending it and we have cars and stuff i mean in new york you're lugging all the all those boxes down and like having to get them wherever no thank you ew disgusting

So she explains like what you said that there were like she was getting all these pictures of Craig out at a bar and she was afraid that people were going to accuse him of cheating on on her. And she didn't want him to have to go through that. So she she reached out to him and said, I'm going to put the statement out and then he didn't say anything. So she went ahead and did it anyway.

And then Andy's like, well, Kyle, did it surprise you that Craig didn't defend Paige when the cheating rumors started to swirl in the press? And Kyle's like, yeah, now you made me mad because I knew exactly what it was. Okay.

Okay, whatever that means. Sure. I think he's supporting you, Paige. Yeah, because for those who don't remember, that's what Craig did right when she made that announcement. He was like, oh, my God, I was so blindsided. I had no idea she was going to break up with me. And how could she do this right now at the holidays? Poor Craig, when he knew already for a month and he was already out partying with other girls. That's fucking high.

Yeah. And it's just so interesting because you never know what's going on inside a couple. It's just so true. Paige, we really saw an emotional and vulnerable side to you this summer and I don't think we've ever seen it before. That's right. Which is why I've decided to leave the show because I saw myself crying in that bed and I said, never again.

Absolutely not. It was like watching The Fear Factor. I might as well have been swallowing worms and making cake out of my own vomit. No, thank you. Disgusting. Gross. Never coming back to NBCU. You brought the worst side of me.

Oh, and she says that, you know, being in the public eye, like she doesn't feel like exes owe each other anything, but they're in the public eye and their reputation means a lot. So when he's out there insinuating that she's cheating and he's leaning into like, oh, she wanted other people, which she's like, I didn't dump Craig because of other people. I dumped Craig because of Craig.

So we saw that this season. And what was great about this season, the summer houses, we saw her really kind of like getting the ick or at least letting the ick come out to light and, you know, crying in that bed with Sierra. Like it was not just like she met a guy in November and decided to move on.

So Andy's like, all right, well, you guys, you said you thought you and your ex-boyfriend, that the two of you would remain friends. I did think that, yes. Oh, sorry, before that, she goes, he's like, you know, I've noticed that you keep on saying ex-boyfriend. You're not really saying his name. She's like, absolutely. And you will never hear me say his name again unless he changes his name to stupid, in which case I'll say that many times. Yeah.

So he's like, whoa, you just never know what's going on with people. BravoCon's going to be interesting. Oh, you're so cute thinking I'm going to BravoCon. Oh, that's adorable. You know that I've already been speaking to human resources, right? I'm leaving this damn show. I've already started calling it Bravo Non. Yeah. I don't know if you know this, but I was at the Oscars Vanity Fair party. So, yeah, BravoCon, not going to happen. No. Sorry. No.

So, Jesse, any plans to pursue Paige? Of course. Come on. You know it. Fly me to the goon. And let me go to among the stars. All right. Please stop singing. Thank you. You got this, Lexi. It's a lot. It's a lot right now. You got this, Lexi. You got this. That was our song.

I love the moon. He took that from me. So Andy's like, um, page your growth over the last year has been insane to watch. Amanda's. You said the things that page achieved this year are the goals she told you about when you first met. It must make you feel really proud to see her. Amanda's like, yeah, I get emotional thinking about it, but to be fair, I also reached my goals, which was to make guacamole 16 times this summer. So where's my flowers? Yeah.

I learned how to make guacamole into bikinis, so let's not just go. Let's spread the love around.

All right. Do you plan on going to the Hamptons, Lindsay? Are you done with this show? And she's like, I am a baby now. So I don't know. Maybe I'll be a friend. I'm like, I have a baby. So, OK, let's end it. That's it. It's over. So everybody but Carl gets a white Russian. Carl's going to get some breast milk. Just kidding. Andy really teased this joke out. He's like, everyone in honor of the season being

You all get a shot of breast milk. And they're like, oh yeah, we're so excited for that. Just kidding. It's a white Russian. Except for Carl. It's a double white Russian. What? Just kidding. It's Lindsay's breast milk. What? Just kidding. It's toothpaste. What? Just kidding. It's just oat milk. Oh, thank God. Filled with milk. Oh. Made the night that Lindsay drank a white Russian.

Damn it. So they do shots, and they're served in tiny bottles, and Kyle gives a toast. He's like, I got to wing this one. Okay. Friends, the family, I just want to tell you this. If you can't still pee your name into a blanket, is this even your name? All right, I'm going to pee. Kyle, put your penis away.

And that brings an end to not just this episode, but the page to Sorbo era on summer house. So thank you everyone for listening. I know I'm so sad. It's a bummer. Yeah, it is a bummer. Also like, I don't know what's going to happen to our summer house. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. Everything will be fine. Thanks everyone for listening. Thanks for being here. And we will catch you on the next episode. Remember tickets at watch what happens.com. Bye.

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Betches. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen. It's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Mannock's door. My favorite Murdo, Karen McClure.

We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Shadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alcalani. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.

She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Tellefson. Shannon, out of a can, and Anthony. Come on, shake your body, baby, do the Sidney Cogden. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys.

If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics.

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.

My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and At Will Media, I'm Misha Brown and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to get other people to do it. And the 2019 movie adaptation of...

Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery+. Get started with your free trial at wondery.com slash plus.