#2882 RHOA S16E14: Brit or Get Off The Pot
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Oh,

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap In, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and glorious Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Hi. What's new? What's going on? Are you excited for this week? We have a lot of stuff going on this week. Yeah, busy week, getting ready to go to Seattle. Exciting times, okay? Exciting, exciting times. That's right. We are doing a show this Thursday in Seattle called

for the Real Housewives of Miami season premiere. That's what we're going to recap there. And by the way, on Friday, I was driving down the street and I looked to my left and there was Gertie. It was just like, you know, a few door fronts down from Sirius XM. So it made sense. It was like, not just like a random Gertie in the wild, but Gertie herself was right there. And I wanted to pull over and be like, Gertie, but I got to find me right now and take a photo with her and everything. But I had to get to the UPS store before it closed.

So priorities, unfortunately. You chose UPS over saying hi to Gertie? Damn. That's cold. I know. Well, you know.

So also I would have had to pull the car over and find a place. It would have been a whole thing, but it was gritty and it got me excited because Miami is back this week. I'm so excited for this. So we are going to the Neptune on Thursday to recap the season premiere. We are so excited to go to the Pacific Northwest. It wasn't originally on our schedule, but we found a way to do it and we were really thrilled. And then next week we have our series finale. Well, actually no, not series finale. Well, series finale for the concert, for our tour, for the Mounting Asteria tour.

next week, our final show in LA at the Fonda Theater on the 19th. So come join us. Tickets are at watchacrappins.com. That's where the links are. So come join us there. Also, Patreon.com

We are doing Love Island recaps really every day, and we're having so much fun with it. We already have lots of hot takes and opinions. And so come join us for that. Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens. And also with Crappens on Demand, you can watch us. So those are all the fun things. And then for me personally to promote, I did talk about last week how I was going to try to do something about my Norway trip. So I did make a little video where I basically went through a bunch of slideshows.

bunch of images like a slideshow it goes on for 90 minutes it's long it's like a whole podcast episode 90 minutes oh my god it was a lot but you know what though you can always just turn it off if you get bored I'm not like wow that's too long I just didn't know it was no it is too long it is too long I love that

I just sat there and talked. But like, you know, when people come back from vacation and you have to sit and look through all their pictures and it's so boring, the difference is that I'm doing it, but you can just, when you've had your fill, you can just end or you can come back later. No, don't be like that. Yeah, you can come back later. No, but I want to be realistic. Spark.

I want to be realistic. I started up an NBD fancy YouTube channel for it. This is one video. So anyway, it's just good. I wrote a whole, whole, whole sub sack of that. I love that. That's great. NBD fancy dot sub sack dot com. If you want to read about my Norwegian adventures. And then the last thing I want to say, Ronnie, actually a bit more seriously, but I want to tell people about this. No, no, no, no. This is for real. This is.

This is a PSA that I'm giving to everyone. That on the day that I flew off to Norway, our carbon monoxide alarm went off in our house. And basically, Dom was here and he was like, hmm, that sounds strange. And basically, he evacuated the house. He called 911. And the gas company came and the gas company basically said...

If the batteries in your smoke detector had failed, like he would have been dead, which was really, really scary. And the reason why I'm bringing this up is truly as a PSA to people, because it's so like, it's really scary with carbon monoxide. Make sure your batteries are up to date. But also, even more, this is the real PSA part of it, is that the smoke alarms, if they do four beeps,

And not just your standard whatever other beeps, but four beeps. That means carbon monoxide. So part of it also is that if Dom hadn't recognized that the fire alarm was smoke alarm was doing a different kind of sound, he also would have been in big trouble. So like, I just want to put it out there that if you hear your smoke alarm doing four beeps,

like evacuate because it, it could have been a tragic situation here. So it's a, this is a true PSA, Ronnie. Oh my God. And it's not to bring the mood down. It's actually just to empower people and just, just know this, just getting the word out. Just keep those,

keep your ears out for the right number of beeps on your smoke detector and make sure there are batteries in there. - That's crazy. - Yeah. 'Cause I think we all think that like with a smoke detector, oh well, if there's smoke, we'll smell it, whatever. But when it comes to carbon monoxide, you don't smell it and you don't see it. So that's my update, everyone. - Oh damn. Yeah, don't die. - Yeah, so that is that. But now speaking of toxic things,

Shall we talk about what's coming up? Oh, we have crappy hour tonight, which we have all this Atlanta shit is going nuts right now. And we're going to be talking about that tonight at crappy hour. So that's a promo for that. Yeah. We'll be talking about this Brit lawsuit and suit, you know, getting or not coming to the reunion and all that stuff. We will talk about that tonight over on crappy hour, but that is going on. Fucking Brit shocker. Yeah.

I knew right when her statement came out, she was going to be suing Bravo because it was like, I look forward to getting revenge or something. And I was like, oh, she didn't say getting revenge, but I look forward to seeking retribution or something. And I was like, retribution, get a job. She's going to sue. Get a job. You know, my first thought was here comes another lawsuit. She's jumping on the Bravo lawsuit bandwagon.

And I can verify, I can confirm that Ronnie is not lying because I hung out with Ronnie Thursday night and we talked about this. And Ronnie, you said-

That means the lawsuit's coming and the next day it broke that she was suing Bravo for $20 million. So you definitely called that one. You're totally going to get that, Brent. Good luck, sucker. For defamation, I mean, I guess we'll talk about it later, but I'm not sure about that. Also, I'm not sure how this whole thing is going to pan out, but we'll talk over all of it tonight. Who knows? But right now we're in Grenada for day two.

And everybody's waking up. And it was a week where there's a lot of controversy. So Bravo's like, we don't Bravo doesn't release screeners whenever there's any kind of controversy. So I actually came into this episode thinking, oh, my God, they didn't release a screener. I wonder what happens in the episode. Nothing. Nothing.

nothing did like what are you worried about like what what was the screener gonna do you know i guess they didn't want to feed the narrative while all this stuff is going on but no i think maybe that's what it was i mean i think a lot went on they went to a waterfall they well i just mean stuff that they it was controversial they cooked they cooked a meal yeah

There's a nanny that's really shitty. Shitty nanny. Yeah, another PSA. Carbon monoxide is shitty nannies.

So it's day two and the show is doing this thing that this like motif that they've been maintaining all season long, which is like, look at what everyone's doing to the, to the eyes of a viewfinder. So, um, or like not a viewfinder, one of those slide things, Tommy camera, like, you know, when you're like, it's a, you insert the circle desk and then it is a view. Is that a viewfinder? No, that's a viewfinder. Well, whatever it is, they're doing it.

So we're seeing them all hanging out and everything talking about how they slept and Juicedora felt rejuvenated. She's like, I slept like a whole baby in my little twin bed, honey. I'm like, actually, I'm sure she did knowing that Ralph was not downstairs for once. Yeah. And then Kelly and Kelly's talking about how grateful they are to be there. You know, it's just like good waking up stuff. They say rejuvenate a lot because this is their rejuvenation trip.

to the point where it's called Rejuvenation Part Two. I'm like, wow. - Yeah, 'cause part one was reset. - This is kind of like watching- - Yeah, chapter one was reset. - This is kind of like watching Love Island where everybody's like, oh my God, we need to reset our relationships and really re-get to know each other. You guys have known each other five minutes. - Yeah, yeah. - Can we stop acting like you need a reset? You don't need a reset. You need a start. You need to start.

So then Brit is FaceTiming with her husband, who that's going to be a real loss for the show. Now that Brit is going to be leaving, not having Mike Eadie. I mean, he's just full of so much charisma and he's just so fascinating. The camera loves him.

So he is FaceTiming with her and he's like, what do you have around your neck? And she's like, well, you know, you told me I couldn't bring my diamonds on the island partially because I don't have diamonds. But so I got my tribal vibes on. So I found like a necklace in the souvenir shop. You're going to return that right after you're done with this trip. Of course.

You told me that I could bring up my diamonds on the trip right around the time I could bring my marble countertops on the trip. You mean when I actually buy them for you? Yeah. So then we see Mike with the real-time audience reaction to Brit. He's like...

Every time we see Mike, he's just like, oh, gross. Why are you calling me? I know. So, and then Kelly is saying, back in her room, she's like, this feels good. I mean, it seems like Drew and Portia, just that they, it looks like they're ready to move forward. And we see a flashback to last night where Drew and Portia are like giggling and joking around with each other again. And they're all, it seems like they're all fine now. Yeah, they're being fakey-bakey with each other. Drew's like, oh my God, Portia! Yeah.

I might fall down this hill. Will you catch me? And Portia's like, I'll catch you. I'll catch you. And then she pretends to fall and then Portia doesn't catch her. And then she's like, just kidding. I am catching you. And then Drew is telling Cynthia, she's like, you know, on the ride home, Brittany ended up throwing up. And Cynthia's like, I heard. I heard. She goes, we had to pull over on the side of the road. And then we see footage of

Britt puking on this outside the van. - This was not even like a puke. This was like a, oh my God, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf. And then they opened the door and then as she's leaving the door, you just hear . So she didn't make it. She was walking out the door and I guess barfed all over herself to the point where she had to take off her corn. - Yeah.

The real victim, her corset. So Cindy's like, well, I guess she's lightweight. So then we see Britt FaceTime. She's like, babe, I had to take my corset off last night. They were like, Britt, you got your titties out.

And so then let's see. So Kelly is saying, you know, today's going to even be better for renewal because, you know, we're renewing and we're finding peace and it's renewal and renewal. So it's going to be great.

and shamia goes yeah i mean if you can't release it i mean that's you then that's you says shamiya who winds up actually carrying a grudge about the shots the whole episode which i supported her on but i also acknowledged that she was actually being pretty petty about that i'm surprised because well i'm not surprised because you look really like shamia but i'm surprised that you would take this stance because we just talked in love island about how your long time nemesis for like years now in recaps has been the person forcing shots on people

And that was Shamia. And now you're taking the stance of standing up for Shamia, even though she is that girl who's forcing shots on everybody. It's not the forcing on the shots. It's that like, I don't know you and you're trying to like,

like present like you're this fun time party girl, like shot, like, Hey shot. I'm like, I don't know who you are, but like if, if you're with friends and your friend is like shots, you want shots. I'm okay with that. I just don't want, like, I don't want to walk in the door at a party. And some girl comes up to me, think like doing where the energy is like, gays love me. I'm like, I haven't decided that I've loved you yet. And you're going to try to like act like,

like you're like the life of the party when I know you're a nightmare. I can see you're a nightmare, but like someone in a, in a friend group, they can offer me a shot and I can be, she's being, she's being like a shot enforcer.

What you generally don't like. And that's what Shamit's doing. I'm just pointing it out. You feel how you feel. I'm just saying. I'm saying there are nuances in my shot situation. I look at it, it's like I'm getting something for free. So it's like, even though I might not want your Costco sample, I appreciate you for offering it, you know? And it's fun for me to say no to things. So anybody feel free to offer me shots because I love going no.

I think what I will say is that like Shamia doing this whole like shot o'clock thing does feel very fake to me though. Also, I will say that because Shamia has spent this whole season. She's now she's like in her matronly phase, you know, she's got her little, her little, you know, candy burrs, candy burrs, his first season haircut, you know, or, and she's just wearing these sort of like

I don't know, very... To me, she looks matronly. Maybe she's not. Maybe, you know, and correct me if you don't think she's matronly. But I think she looks matronly. I think her vibe is very matronly now. But she's still trying to be like, shots, shot o'clock. And I'm like, this feels fake. But it doesn't... It feels a different kind of fake to me than...

um huda on on love island yeah it's a different a different style it's a very like look how much fun i am all the time with like it's like an i'm still fun fakeness as opposed to someone who's trying to say i'm always fun okay and so here's what i consider fun watching angela try to get charles to be somebody that he's not so here she goes again trying to call charles and he's not answering he's

And you know they have this plan like, okay, Charles, I'm going to call you at a certain time. It's on camera. It's a housewife's trope. We have to do it. I'm going to be calling you. You answer. I tell you about my trip. And it's just like ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. This is Charles. Brussels sprouts are more important than you on our anniversary. That's why I'm frying them up right now and letting this go to voicemail. Bye-bye.

Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, to be fair, he can't, he literally cannot answer his phone because all of his hands are turning over corns on the cobs and Brussels sprouts and everything else in that grill. So she's like, I think he misses me. So she tries again and it goes to voicemail again. And she's like, well, I mean, I think he misses me. I mean, we are falling in love with each other again, every single day. Another voicemail.

Yeah. He's really loving you. So then, um, meanwhile, there's a chef who's cooking breakfast, um, for everyone. And, um, Kelly walks in and Phaedra is like,

Yeah, put your nipple covers on. Your nipples are out. And she's like, what? It's a nipple. You see a nipple? She's like, yeah, I see a lot of nipples. I think you should go over and put some nipple covers on. So Phaedra's like, yeah, those breasts are too big. I mean, she's got some big, big old boobs for such a little bitty body. I mean, if a strong wind comes, that girl's going to topple over because those boobs. They're just like, woo. I mean, those are some melons, honey. She's like perplexed by Kelly's body shape.

- So then, which is weird because she tells her like, she's like a little garden gnome and stuff. You're the same height. What are you talking about? - You're from the littles. Weren't they the littles? - Yeah. Originally with her, you said you really loved little people and you keep them locked in your basement or whatever you said.

So Cynthia is like, oh, so I heard you were wasted, Brit. And she's like, well, I've been telling these ladies I don't take shots. Shots is for college girls and we're wives. Well, some of us are wives. Why are you pretending that you're classy? We all saw your country club thing five minutes ago.

Exactly. And every else and every other damn thing going on your life. Just stop that. Now you're classy because you don't take shots. You should have saved those shots and sent them to the people you didn't feed last week is what you should have done.

I know. An apology. Put a little press and seal on top of the shot glass and wrapped it up and sent it up to Grenada. Okay. But yeah, Cynthia's like, yeah, I don't think you should drink. You know, you shouldn't. And it was like, it affected her too much, child. I mean, and one of her nipples was inverted when she got back to the room. All these nipples are out.

Yeah. So they're talking about the nipples and everything. And Phaedra is saying about Brit, she's like, that girl doesn't wear underwear or bras at any given time. So I am elated that they put me with her because I would never have known all these very intimate things about her. I've literally seen her birth canal at this point. That's her way of saying she's a slut. That's her way of, she's trying to like be very nice and be like, oh wow, I've learned all these things about her. That I think is Phaedra talk for she's a slut.

Yeah. Phaedra is not sure who she likes yet. I think it's nobody, but we can't really tell yet. So, yeah,

I think it's nobody. They're talking about Shimmy is missing clothes. They're like, what's your underwear situation? She's like, I'm bare and baked. I'm bare naked. You know, just what she says. Like, I'm going naked. So, Phaedra is talking about Drew's outfit. And she's like, is this not giving Flintstones? And they're like, oh my God. Pebbles. It's pebbles. It's time for a commercial.

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So today's gonna be fun guys, it's Housewives. So we're splitting into two groups. Some people are going to a waterfall, some people are gonna go cooking. And Kelly's like, "Cooking with Kelly in Granada!" Oh my god, take me to the quiet place. I know. God, please. You should have sent Kelly to the waterfall. There would have been some white noise. I know. So Phaedra's like, "She's just like, 'What would happen if a garden gnome and a tinkerbell got together?'" Like really tiny, but she also thinks she's gotta be like, "Ah, Kelly's like, 'No!'"

Then Kelly does this whole bit about like talking about what the day is going to happen in a quiet voice. And it was, it took way too long just because you're speaking quietly. Doesn't mean you have to speak slowly. So, um, then, uh, Kelly's asking if the crystal helped last night. Cause they were, when they were talking, they were all holding, uh,

This crystal, it was like the talking shell or whatever. And so Cynthia's like, well, it helped a little bit. And Britt's like, well, because I had it and nobody wanted to listen to me. I'm like, that's because you're not saying anything interesting and you're trying to start fights with the OGs and you tried to start one with Phaedra last night by talking about Apollo and no one fell for your shit.

Yeah, just because you have a talking stick doesn't mean I have to have a listening stick. Okay? You suck. You need to make your talking better. So then Shamia starts with her. And she's like, well, you have the crystal. But then you turn the conversation around on something that we weren't even on. She goes, but I can talk about whatever I want. I have a talking crystal. She's like, no. Because then you started talking about Phaedra and her ex. Like, that has nothing to do with what are we talking about. Like, what are you talking about? I want to talk about who Black is. Who's the new lover? Yeah.

And Drew's like, wow, that diverted really quick. She's like, I was not expecting that. I thought we were coming down on Brit. And now suddenly it's here on me. She's like, well, I was with you and you said, whoa. So Drew is saying that everyone is always searching for what Drew's got.

going on. But the real question is, why are Britt and Shamia having a weird beef this morning? By the way, I don't think anyone in the audience has any interest whatsoever about who Black is and if Drew is dating this person. I'm really hoping they drop this right away. I don't care about

And I don't believe Drew anyway, because Drew always lies. So whatever. Unless you bring black hair, I don't really care. So then Shimi and Britt have a little snit. And Shimi is like, well, I want to jump in and talk. She goes, well, we all feel that way. She goes, okay, okay. Well, it's not your fault. She goes, no, I know. And she goes, well, you don't have to take it that way. I mean, it's like I'm just trying to talk to you. She goes, no, I'm not taking it that way. I'm like, oh, God, you guys, just go. Just go on your trips. Go do your datings.

So Kel, they split up. Kel explains that there is a method to the madness about how they split up. It's not really very interesting. But what I did think was interesting is that in one van, you have Portia, Shamia, Cynthia, and Phaedra.

And what I really liked is we cut back and forth between these two vans and they're all chatting. And there was an energy with the Porsche van that I found to be really appealing because these are basically all women who've been on the show for a very long time in different forms, including Shamia. I mean, Shamia is only a first time peach holder, but she's been on Atlanta for many years now. She's like up there with Marlo as like a friend of. So there's kind of a vibe the way they're talking about the other people like,

They're like the upperclassmen and they're like, who are these freshmen who are like trying to make an impact right now? And I kind of loved it.

Well, that van's talking shit and having fun. And the other van is just like trying to be positive and not having any fun. Yes. Like quiet and not having fun at all. So first they talk about Brit and they're like, what's going on with her? You barely even read her. And she's like, I was just trying to say. And Portia's like, yeah, but do you remember, you know, about to drink the thing? And she was like, I don't want any more drinks. And

And then you kept saying, take drinks. And she's like, oh, my God, she's just so defensive. Like, are you trying to read me? Are you trying to be shady? Like, no, I'm just trying to say, like, you know, let's acknowledge the donations to Grenada.

I was like, oh, okay. Well, this is where the anger, this is where the anger really is from. It's not about the shots. She's like, you know, you can't show up with a Rolls Royce and a Birkin bag on your arm and then a small box. But Bricks, she's like, Bricks box had like three paper towel rolls. Patriot goes three paper towels. You should have given her an actual membership to Brit box. That would have at least given them some drama to watch.

that would have been an amazing donation. - So we see a flashback to that with Brit being like, "Oh my God, I really feel sorry for poor people. Here's a used Kleenex. Could you send that over?"

So to me, it's like, yeah, I mean, that's a small box. I mean, that looks like a baby shower gift and it doesn't look right. So then she said, OK, fine, then I'll send some cash out. And she says two hundred and fifty dollars. And Phaedra's like two hundred and fifty dollars. I gave the married to medicine ladies eighty thousand for medical miracles and Dr. Jackie Land or whatever the fuck that thing was, the medical ball.

Yeah, Phaedra's like, I mean, no one should give less than $1,000. I mean, you can go out and spend, like most of us do, $200, $300 to get your nails done. Don't come with a $250 donation. And I mean, I do think... These suffering women can't even get their nails done for that. I do think that when it comes to charity, you give what you give, and everyone should always be grateful. But the truth is, it is a very bad look.

to show up with the Birkin bag hanging off of your arm which is it was there it was this is not just a metaphorical thing like she showed up with a Birkin bag and then donated three rolls of like quilted northern I'm like it is a bad bad look and it's it's it's very like stingy and like uh ungrateful yeah but it's also a housewives thing where it's like I'm just going to work and you guys keep forcing me into these things where I have to give all this money you

You know, they've got so many charity things each year. And then every year you have to come donate all this fucking money to people. It's like, can I just go to work? I don't get paid enough to do. I'm like season one. I'm not getting paid enough to do your Grenada bullshit.

Well, she should say that then she should literally say like, I can't, I can't afford that. But she's, she is putting on all sorts of fronts, like her even just saying like, I don't do shots. That's what college girls do. Like she's pretending like she's a lady. She's having this event where she clearly did not pay for anything. So she's putting on airs and that's where the bullshit is. A hundred percent. She's poor. Yeah. So I think they're just like getting on. So I'm like, is it fair to like make fun of somebody for being poor? Yeah.

Give her the boxes. You know what I mean? Where's Brittany's box? Give Brittany a box. When you have a housewife that can't feed people at a country club, I say it's time to have a fundraiser for her. And I'm not saying Grenada hasn't gone through anything, but we need to start at home. Okay?

Help. But you know, the thing is she needed to have led with her being poor. Like, you know, Monica Garcia, one thing she was smart about is she's sort of like level set right away. I'm poor. I've got six people living under one house. We sleep together like the Charlie and the chocolate factory family and I can't afford anything. And then that was fine. We just knew that she's like, I'm going to make a little,

little bundles for toddlers and that's how I'm going to get by. But Britt is like, well, I'm making 45 figures in the insurance agency right now, which I'm both part of and not part of. So yeah, I'm very wealthy. You might have heard of my insurance company called Don't Trust Your Sister Insurance. It's amazing. So please buy my Be a Bad Bitch Workshop.

And you'll learn how to do it too. Yeah, this girl's phony as hell. But, you know, I don't know. That's why she has to sue Bravo for $20 million. Well, here's the thing with this chick. Beyond being poor, even if she got that $20 million from Bravo, she would still give $250. She 100% would. Yeah. 100%. Which she's not going to get that money, by the way. Not if we have something to say about it.

Well, you know, maybe she'll get something, but it's not going to be 20 million. I don't know what she'll get. They'll probably settle with her. They'll probably be like, we're giving you your $250 back. And here's three rolls of toilet paper. Here's a fake marble countertop. Good luck getting your insurance agency license back for, even though it wasn't ever clear why it was suspended in the first place.

So they're talking about Phaedra and Drew and, oh no, Portia and Drew. And Phaedra's like, I'm just trying to figure out who's Drew? Who's this Drewzilla? Did you guys get that one? Did you get that one? That was a good one. I really Phaedra'd you on that.

porsche's like yeah i can't talk about her you know i just supposed to have like made up with her so like we just kind of like finish up that storyline so we can talk after the cameras are off and i like how cynthia defines real friendship she's like well i know you ain't gonna i know you guys aren't gonna be at like costco together next week shopping but i do feel like you can move forward

- I love when she said that. The Costco test. Who is she inviting to Costco? - So now we go to the kind of boring van and they're talking about street meat and stuff. And Kelly's like, "I'm a chef. I want to stop on the side of the road, baby."

And then we go back to the fun car. Kelly, who we've not seen make a single waffle all season long. I haven't even seen you make a waffle. That's what I was thinking too. Like girl, stop calling yourself a chef. You sold 20, you sold 20 books. I looked at the Amazon reviews.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I believe she can throw down in the kitchen, but let's see it. Like, why are you making us work for it? You're a chef. You should be cooking every single moment. Every event they go to, she should be bringing a plate of food. She should be bringing a giant waffle that she made and distributing it. Like, where is this hustle? I'm not saying here's the only review I've heard of her food, her child who said mom can't cook. That's why I'm going to culinary school.

Oh, yes. So back in the fun car, Porsche is like, well, you know, Drew needs to apologize to you about the lapdog comment because she's trying to bring you beneath me and you're not. And Shamia is like, well, listen, I say Drew's name to a million people and every one of them says, who? So...

She's like, I would rather be a lapdog for someone who's famous than forgettable inherently. That's so interesting. Well, we all, I guess there's always a pecking order, right? So it might as well get, be in the right order. Who wants to peck? Who wants to peck for someone who wants to peck for Drew Sidora, right? I think to be fair, more people have heard of Drew Sidora than Shamia Morton, like outside of this show.

I think at this point, I'm sorry. I've heard of Portia Williams. Then, then I think drew has people know drew. I mean, she was on the game. She was in, does it step up? People know who she is. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. People know her more than Shamia. So I don't know why she, me is acting like she, no one knows who drew is. And don't forget LeBron James was listening to her music. According to Drew, Drew,

Who also, by the way, LeBron James, very good friends, I'm sure, with Drew's cousin, Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan, exactly. Michael Jordan knows who Drew Sidora is. He doesn't. He doesn't. Okay, so Phaedra's like, yeah, and then Drew comes in like, Betty Rubble. Did I say that one already? Just in case it didn't get in there. There it is again, boys. She got promoted from Pebbles to Betty Rubble, but is also Godzilla. Yeah.

So then Cynthia's like, "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop." And then Portia's like, "Well, Phaedra, I saw something like that in the back of your closet." And Phaedra goes, "Hell no." She's like, "I do not dress like Drew Sidora." - So now the other in the boring car, oh, sorry, what'd you say? - No, I was gonna say Phaedra does not like any of the new people at all. - Here's what Phaedra likes, pop culture starring dinosaurs. - She's like, "Not the mommy."

It's just like, wow, the Flintstones, Godzilla, Jurassic Park. What is she, Jeff Goldblum looking at a tiny bug in amber? Who wants to hear about chaos theory? Let me tell you, that girl, what did she kill Newman?

Am I right? You always thought about what you could do, but you didn't think about what you should do. My land before time. That girl is rough. That girl releases music. It's going to be some real fraggle rock.

I knew the moment I was going to leave Apollo was when I watched our own little pet dinosaur kick him out of our house. And he couldn't even figure out how to get back in. So in the boring car, Drew's like, oh, it's just so exciting to be able to experience Phaedra. I love her. And Britt's like, yeah, she's dope. And Britt's like, yeah, we definitely have some mutual friends. So that's like helped us build our bond.

That's her way. She's again trying to like stoke the, and that's how I know Apollo. She's begging for them to say, oh, is that why you invited Apollo? She wants to make the Apollo thing a thing and just no one's giving it to her. We have mutual friends. There are people that we know. Also, I've been reading my Greek mythology and I really like the god Apollo. It's like, stop.

And Cynthia's like, well, you know Charles, right, Phaedra? So this is the other van. And they're talking about Angela. And so Cynthia's like, so you know Charles, right, Phaedra? And she's like, oh, Charles. I mean, so much fun. I mean, I haven't seen him in years, but he's always been that dude. And she says he's the life of the party. And they say, does he act married? And she's like, well, I don't know, because it's not like I've been out on the scene. But I never knew him to be married.

I mean, they're trying to make that sound like scandalous, but she just said she hasn't seen him in 10 years and Angela's been married to him for eight years. So if she says she never knew him to be married, that would be completely accurate. Yeah. They're making it sound like Charles is out there acting single, taking off his wedding ring and stuff like that, which, you know, if that's the case, say that, or if he's cheating, say that. But these, these,

wedding rings are a big thing on Bravo these days with this new valley. Maybe you guys don't consider him married, but I'm sure he does because he's invested in five investment homes for his wife, which is more than any of your men are doing for you right now, except you, Shamia. But still, I don't know that she's the one to throw daggers at. Shot o'clock.

So then Angela's like, you know, I'm just happy that we made it to our eight-year wedding anniversary. And Kelly's like, eight is great. Eight is wonderful. That's how many children I hope to have someday. And let's just say that, okay, that you made it to eight. And Drew's like, well, have you talked to him? She's like, well, not today, but I'm going to try to get his ass on the phone when we get to the hotel. So then the producers are asking Drew what she thinks of their relationship. And she's like, I mean, ugh.

Angela and Charles are legendary. I mean, I don't know anything. I haven't heard anything. I haven't seen anything. Okay, just don't get me in trouble. So she's like, no. Yeah, he's cheating. And then back in the other car, they're talking about how Grenada's really stepped it up. The prime minister is going to come have dinner with them. Why do we do this to respectable people? Let the local officials alone.

Don't do this to this poor gentleman. That man has so much to do. He has a political career. Yeah, and he's got clean up. Like that man has a lot to do. Leave him alone. I like that when he finally came, he looked like he worked at the hotel. He had like a little uniform shirt on and like a pen in his shirt. He's like, hello. You've got five minutes. Everybody's room's okay.

I'm so glad that you're here. Could you ask our concierge when is our spa day going to begin? Thank you so much. Listen, I have asked that gentleman over there who seems very nice where my artichoke dip is for seven episodes. I still have not received it. So Shamia is... I drop a grenade for ya. David...

so so shami is saying that they can't keep the prime minister waiting they have to be on time tonight and porsche is saying like yeah you better tell that to drew so now they're arriving at their activities porsche is calling somebody late porsche the last season you were on this show you barely even showed up and when you did it was like eight hours late to every single event what are you talking about she takes some accountability she goes she goes i know i'm late but drew is often late

Okay, so now we have Cooking with Kelly and the Annandale Waterfall. Let's see what happens. So there's little monkeys running all over the place. And Phaedra's like, I don't want anything to do with monkeys. They racist. And I'm like, what? Monkeys are racist? What are you talking about? The monkey's racist?

She's like, I've always equated anything with monkeys, but that's no good. They just keep showing this little monkey. I was just like, I was just like juggling at the idea. This tiny little monkey was racist. He's just like, uh, not doing it.

So then they're loving the waterfall and there's a lizard and it's a tree lizard. So Portia's like, uh-uh, not a tree, not a jumping one. I'll get a video though. So she starts taking a video and they're like, Portia, you have to press record. And she's like, oh my God, I'm old. She's putting little go naked hair on the lizard. She's like, how many followers you got?

The lizard's doing a photo shoot in the waterfall in three seconds. The other people, they show up at this estate that is a distillery. They make rum. It's like an all-black-owned distillery, which is very cool. And they talk about how it survived hurricanes, et cetera. And they're going to make some food together. And doesn't this hurricane sound like a real bitch anyway? This hurricane was named Barrel.

- Was it? - Or Burl. - Burl? - When Hurricane Burl, B-E-R-Y-L. I'm gonna look that up. - Oh, I remember that, Hurricane Burl. I remember that. 'Cause I was like, what a bitch. - It sounds like someone's emotionally abusive husband in the '50s. - I just feel like Merrill is great because of Meryl Streep, but then Burl, you're like, mm-mm, you're trying to be like Merrill, but you're not, you're awful. - Yeah, Hurricane Burl, what an asshole.

So they're talking about the hurricane and how they're still here. We don't fall. So Kelly's like, as the chef, I'd love to learn new recipes. I cannot wait how to work fish into my waffles. Yeah. I mean, I would have fish on top of a waffle. I wouldn't be opposed. I like a waffle based on things. You can have a savory waffle.

No. The fish waffle though? I mean, I know a fish waffle is a thing. I don't know about a fish waffle. I would 100% have like a fish wrapped in a waffle. 100%. No, I want yucca. I think it would be delicious. I'll support it. I'll order a side of fries. Okay. I appreciate that. Well, we'll need the fries just in case it doesn't work. I mean, I'll watch you eat it like this. Well, I think actually like a pickled fish would be really good in it. Oh, come on. Pickled? That's even worse.

You're just complete dismay at the concept. You're like, just drip, just open a can of tinned fish and just drip all the drippings all over the top of the waffle. I, well, okay, Norway story incoming. We went to a herring manufacturer or producer, whatever company, and they served us all sorts of herring in different ways, which of course was my dream. Maybe your nightmare, but my dream. And one of the ways that they served it

was they had herring that was in a pickled herring in a raspberry brine that was served over mango and raspberry and melon. Could you imagine pickled fish over raspberries and mango? And I ate it all because I'm a big boy that eats his berries now. And first of all, the berries were actually pretty good. But I was just thinking to myself, I can't believe I'm having pickled fish and raspberries right now. Yeah.

And it worked. It worked in a strange way. So I feel like there's hope for fish and waffles. Okay. Well, you hold out that hope. I'll report back. Yeah. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be

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Real women are not afraid of waffles, okay? Waffles with only syrup is what college girls have.

Yeah, so they're talking about the hot men working and they're like, oh my God, love the men. They're so hot. They're fine. And he's like, well, we're single out here, so just let me know. And so Kelly sidles up to the table. She's like, yeah. And they're like, well, Angela, not Angela. She's married. And she's like, I'm not blind. As she then bonks her head against the pole. Well, maybe I'm a little blind. Yeah.

so then they're back at the waterfall they're taking photos and everything and they're just enjoying all these photos i have to say this is one of those moments where you can really see that cynthia is a supermodel because they all look gorgeous they're all hot they all look gorgeous they all know their angles they're all smiling they all look beautiful and we see all these photos and then we see this one shot of cynthia in the waterfall just smiling and i was like

that's a supermodel right there i don't know how it is that a supermodel just supermodels can just like take a photo on a different level i was like cynthia bailey she still has it i'm gonna say that right now she is like a fish in a waffle delicious and on point yeah um

So, yeah, she's always looking good. That's right. Yeah. Well, Cynthia, what can I possibly add to that? She's always going to look good, you know. So then everyone else is eating. I hate these vacation things where they're like, oh, it's a waterfall. We're making waffles.

I'm like, get to the part where you fight because this is boring. And then we find out Shamia's insecure without a one piece. And I'm like, girl, tell me about it. At least you guys get one pieces. Guys don't get those. Do you know how many guys would die for like a one piece Spanx to wear into a pool? I'd be out at the pool all the time.

I know I would love like in the 20s. Maybe I try to bring that back. Those swimsuits from like movies from the 20s where guys are in like a full body thing. Why don't we get to? Yeah. But Shamia, like her luggage is not only lost, they can't even track it, which I'm like, what airline did you all fly down? What are you on spirit? How how do you not even have any tracking on your luggage at this point? Something here's my question, because now I'm stuck on it.

Can men get away with wearing burkinis? What are those called? Burkinis, yeah. I mean, why not? I can protect my head. I can protect my whole body. Fuck yeah, I'm getting rid of those things. You can wear whatever you want. Yeah. So now after the cooking is done, they're all sitting down to eat and Britt does not eat beef or pork. She's like, even if it's on top, I can only do it because I can't do it because the juices...

why are you saying this now why didn't you say it before when you started cooking the oil down like that's what it's called right an oil down why are you doing this stuff like they would have made you one without the stuff in it they could have just they could have fried your dough first like why you gotta but she is the type that's she's not gonna she's not gonna say anything until all of a sudden the last second and so then she sits there with an empty plate and then she could be like it's okay i never got to eat like she would rather be the one with the empty plate so she could like moan and groan about it

then actually be proactive so that way she can actually participate in the food. Well, maybe she's just medicated and doesn't want to eat. Or that. I'm curious because now I'm wondering, like, did they have any vegetarian options at her thing last week? Now I want to catch her eating meat. Did they have any options in general at her thing last week? Was there food? I think air is vegetarian. Yeah.

So now they're talking. Britt's like, oh, my God, this is so nice. Like, even for me. I've had the most friction with Drew and Angela. And so far, she's been so refreshing. And Angela is fine with Britt, too. She's like, I mean, I've seen no reason to call her a whore again. So I guess I'm okay with her. That's Angela's meter on whether she's friendly or not. She's like, well, I haven't felt like calling you a whore today. So I guess we're friends.

We're almost at the Costco level. We're basically sisters. So the OGs, me a lot, the waterfall are talking and Phaedra was like, you know, I thought it was strange that Brit brought up the stuff with Apollo. And I was like, yeah, that was weird. She's like, you know, I'm not sure how Apollo got into the conversation. I mean, I wasn't invited to the party and I wasn't there, so I have no issue. I don't think that Brit was actually coming for me. It just was weird. Like,

She's like, it was, I'm not necessarily mad at Brit, but I'm also like, hmm, I think that's her vibe. She's like, I have a red flag up. And Portia says, well, she doesn't feel heard. Oh, she's heard. She is heard. I hear her. Okay. That's, that's my main problem with her. Yeah. In my brain, my brain shakes in its head.

Yeah. And Portia also mentions that Apollo didn't even go. So what's even the point of bringing it up? I'm sure Brit would say in case it gets back to Phaedra by me this way, I'm being honest. But yeah, I felt really strange that she brought this all up. And then we have a flashback. She was trying for a storyline. Obviously, she's going to bring Phaedra and Apollo to the same place and it didn't work out. So now she's going to still try and start a fight over it. It's like so obvious. And it's so sad that she's trying to make a fight that's not happening. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just so sad. Can we sue you for $20 million? You're really bad at this. Like you're wasting my time at this point. What about my money? Okay. Now let's say I could have made $100 waiting tables tonight. Times that times. How many episodes is this? 13. Give me my $130. Yeah. No, $1,300. Sorry. Yeah. My math sucks. So much more.

So then Brit is... So Portia, like you said, Portia starts talking about how Brit feels like she's not supported. And we got a flashback to last week.

where Britt is like, I just want to bring everyone together for support because I haven't always felt the support. And then Portia's like, but you didn't invite us over. Well, I've never been invited over by you to anywhere either. It's like, yeah, but you're the one complaining about it. If Portia were complaining, then you could say, but you should invite us over. But you're complaining about not feeling support and yet you've never reached out people to come over to your...

one bedroom, two bathroom, you know? - Yeah, and Portia's like, "Tip-a-tap, tip-a-tap, wait, tip-a-tap." So then we go back to talking about Black and Drew. And so Kelly's like, "I have a question for you, Mr. Usadora. Do you know this person?" And she holds up a black napkin and Angela's like, "That color is purple. The real movie was better than the musical." There, I said it. Fight me. - Do you know Prince?

So then Drew's talking about black. No one cares. And then Shamia is talking about black, the Drew and the black thing. And Sidney's like, who is black? And Portia's like, Drew said black. It's just her friend. But I'm like, wait, isn't there a video of them hanging out? And like, they have pictures and whatever. I'm like, it's too late in the season to be bringing up this person who's not on camera that we don't care about. Like, no, stop doing this, producers. Let's focus on what we have in front of us, not some rando.

Yeah, so then Drew has to answer to the other ladies. And she's like, well, I mean, there's definitely some flirting going on, but we're just friends. Because, you know, if I could share, I would. You know, I'm...

excited to go on that mountaintop. Well, is it a mountaintop or is it a hill? What is it? It's like, what are you even talking about? And she goes, well, I would go on top of that high mountaintop over there and I would scream it because I'm looking forward to that. But right now I'm going through a divorce from Ralph. So that's what I'm thinking about now. So now it's late afternoons. They have to head back and, you know, to get changed for their prime minister dinner, etc. And Portia and Shamir are having a great time together.

And Shamia's like, she's like, I just love that my best friend is back. I don't have luggage, but I've got my best friend.

- Yeah, they sing a song about booty holes. So they're friends. And then we go back home and Phaedra's telling, 'cause Kelly's like, "Okay, everybody, we gotta be ready." And Phaedra's like, "Oh my God, you look like a flower. Little garden gnome comes through. Put you in my basement, bring you out at Christmas." - And then Angela finally is able to make contact with Charles. He's like, "What's up?" "Oh, don't you miss me?"

Okay, I miss you. I mean, it's the first anniversary. We're not together. Okay. I mean, that matters. Okay. Hello? Okay. I need more, Charles. I need mojo. I mean, we're about to go to a dinner. I want to talk about my day. And he's like, okay, Charles. He's like, okay, eat your food. Have a good time. She's like, leave me with something, Charles. Leave me with something. And he's like,

Don't get into a scuffle. She's like, normally on the anniversary, we get some action, but bedroom action afterwards. So I think he's just being a little petty right now. I'm like, no, he is got three chickens and 10 corn on the cobs on the grill right now. And something is burning and he wants to get back to it. Charles does not want to be on this show.

stop calling him he doesn't want to do it he does not he does not want to do it when are you going to just take no for an answer the man tried to show up to the country club event and look what they did immediately they're like well i'm not one of charles's whores it's like okay well thanks for this salad did you even get dressing for this salad this is the worst salad i've ever had in my life why are you bringing me here stop calling me definitely no

definitely no room for salad dressing in Brits catering budget. So Kelly is, they're getting ready to go out and everything. And Shamia starts offering shots. She's like, Cynthia, would you like one? And Cynthia's like, oh, well, I never turned down tequila. And Shamia goes, no pressure. I don't want nobody to feel like I'm pressuring them to drink. And I was like, ooh, I love a passive aggressive moment. Yeah, this is another kind of try hard approach.

moment and so Shamia's like I mean I've just been told I'm a little too much and Britt's like well I mean I felt a little pressured and Cynthia's like who said that Shamia goes well I just don't want anybody saying I'm pressuring them to drink who said that and Britt's like it's not really that serious and she's like oh my god she's being so passive aggressive with these shots that is just so low class

Shamira's like, well, whoever does not want a shot can just politely decline. It is very passive aggressive, but since it's aimed at Brit, I'm like very okay with it. You know, here's why I don't like it. Cause you're like making me stand up for Brit over things. And I don't like it. I'm already standing up for Brit.

For her forced charity stuff. And now these forced shot things that you're trying to make a thing that's not really a thing. So stop making me kind of like be on Brit's side about things. Shamia is being passive aggressive. She is in the wrong here, but I am going to just take her side.

Well, Britt, my point is, I guess, is that Britt is annoying enough and does enough annoying things to call her out on that you don't need to make stupid stuff up. Just call her out on the shit she's already doing and done.

Yeah. So they have this whole little back and forth. And Shamira's like, I've been saying shot o'clock since I've met you all. Shot o'clock. Everybody can just keep on declining. Everybody that doesn't want a shot, just keep declining politely. And Britt's like, yeah, I'm not going to make a shot. She's like, okay. She's like, Shamira's always screaming shot o'clock. And I'm just like, we're not hood rats. We're classy women. So no more shots, please.

Okay, I'll wait to see the sizzle reel of you being a classy lady. I'll wait for them to make that nice montage and compilation, and then we can move forward on this front. One minute you can't feed the people at the party. You're lying about your business. You're lying about your marble countertops. You're pretending to buy a car that you don't have. I mean, come on. Just enough. Enough with you. Yeah.

So now they head out. They're heading out and they're driving. And then Cynthia steps on Portia's foot, which is funny. And then they arrive at Silver Sands. They have a nice little dinner. They sit down. And in my mind, I was like,

please tell me that they already just met the prime minister off camera because if they're starting their dinner now, that means they're going to be fighting by the time this guy shows up. I feel like that's not going to be great. So Kelly's like, welcome to dinner. I just want to thank everybody for their donations for this place because they really needed it. We're good people. And Portia's like, I'm always happy to give. It was so nice seeing all the children of the town running around in their little go-naked wigs today. I'm proud of us, guys.

Shamia's like, and that's the biggest part for me is if you have the ability to give and do big, this is when you do your big one. You can't pull up Birkin's in a Birkin, Rolls Royce's, Bentley's, and then not really give when it counts. And Kelly's like, I totally agree. And Britt's like, um...

to me, that felt like a little bit of shade. Which it was. And Shamia goes, oh, you think I'm throwing shade? I mean, Shamia, you might as well stand in it. I mean, I agree with you. Shamia's in the wrong here and she's making me honestly root a little bit for Brit, but I'm not going to allow myself to root for Brit because I'm very anti-Brit. So I'm going to stay with Shamia. Shamia is like,

like being totally passive aggressive here. Yeah. Brit sucks. It's just Shamia's being an asshole. And she, it's like, you're kind of mean girling somebody, which is going to put the audience more on Brit side. I just think she's not handling any of this very well. Yeah.

And by this, I mean the housewives thing. She's just not, she's not handling it very well. So she's like, well, you're not the only one with a Birkin and Rolls Royce. And she's like, well, I'm just saying I'm the one who showed up with a Birkin and a Rolls Royce. She goes, well, I drive a Rolls Royce. She drives a Rolls Royce. And she goes, but I'm the one that showed up with a Rolls Royce and a Birkin.

And she goes, okay, well, I didn't look at you one time and you said I was throwing shade. So if it was shade, you would know it. But you admitted already to the girls that you like. This was shade, Shamia. This was clearly shade because no one else showed up without like donating a lot. But I like how she's now framed it. She's going to make it.

Britt feel bad about having a Rolls Royce in the sense of like, oh, you think you're special? We all have Rolls Royces. So Britt is like, you know, I knew there was something off and it like started from like the shot situation. Like, what is your real issue with me, Shamia? Because you're my girl. So Kelly's like, well, I'm not saying it was the best donation, but I think that, you know,

Britt is in a situation where she's just not aware in regards to how much to give or what to do. And I think that if we're going to show up and be that girl, be that girl in all aspects of our lives. I'm like, Britt literally knows how much things should cost because she works at insurance. That's like her job is to know how much things cost when they get broken. So you kind of can't act like she's naive about all this. Well, maybe that's why she doesn't want to donate anything. Maybe she's like, do you know what natural disasters do to the insurance companies?

Companies, where's my donation? As a representative of County Garden Insurance. What's that? Well, it's like State Farm, but it's called County Garden instead. So she does not like that Kelly has just...

made her look like you know she's the kelly is taking the other side so she's not happy she's like yeah her telling me i need to show up i mean that's not giving best friend and i asked you and you were like donate whatever you feel or did you forget that part is there confusion was that not spoken and she was like oh my god all this energy calm down

Now, look, again, I think that with charity, you should just donate what you feel. You know, you people should always be grateful. But if you're going to run in this circle and you're going to be on Bravo, like and if you just donate three rolls of toilet paper, just know you're going to receive shit for it. And you have to be able to like you can't be shocked that a group like this, you're going to get shit for something like that. Yeah. OK. And you know what? Look, I get that, too. But a Rolls Royce.

starts at like $357,000 and your ass donated to some used kids clothes that you were going to get rid of anyway, boxes of them, tons of boxes of them. But still like, if we're going to compare all of this, none of y'all gave enough there, send them a Rolls Royce, send them $300,000 or be quiet about someone. I don't know. I think that like, cause I feel like all your donations are kind of small compared to what you have.

Yeah. But like, there's, I don't know, three rolls of toilet paper does and $250, even if yes, you could make an argument that everyone could afford to donate a lot more. And that's, I feel like I said, yeah, that's what I'm saying. But like, I think that Brit Brit, when she's paying to have like a Butler, like a dress up in, you know, a tux to serve her family lobsters at home for dinner, like to pretend like this is what just dinners like in the ED household. I mean,

That money right there. Like save the butler and donate. It's so full of shit. It's ridiculous. And then she can't believe that she would receive shit for being so cheap with her donation. It's just like enough girl. Bye girl. Bye. Yeah, you're right. So then let's see. So Kelly's like, yeah, sure.

Shemia's like, yeah, what's with all this energy? Calm down. She's like, don't you tell me to calm down. And Shemia says, well, when you brought toilet paper rolls, I called you. And she said, and what did I say? She said, you asked how much you should donate, and I talked to you, and I said, give what you want. God loves a cheerful giver. And Britt's like, yeah, and I talked to you in your face in person, and I said, and she goes, calm down, calm down. Why are you acting like this?

Rachel's such a dick move to do that. Like, cause Brit was not actually

She was, she was getting annoyed, but she was not on calm. So she may be like, calm down is such a, that's such fuckery to do that to someone. I don't need you to tell me to calm down because of course Brit is too dumb to not fall into the trap. Yeah. Brit's an idiot. So she's falling right into this instead of being like, well, is it a cheerful giver or is it like a guilt giver? Cause that's what you, I mean something, but just like shutting down without falling into it every single time. But Brit's so thirsty for a fight anyway, that she'll do it. Like,

Like she she's even going to go into this charity fight where she knows she's not going to win this one, you know, but she doesn't care. She just wants a fight.

She really does. And Britt's like, you know, I don't need it. Because then Shamia says, you're being very aggressive right now and I don't like it. She's like, well, I don't need it. You're being passive aggressive right now. You're being passive aggressive. She goes, well, I'm not going to talk to her if she's going to be like this. So Shamia explains, there's like another little wrinkle in this silly situation where she's like, the crazy thing is I did pull Britt aside. I took her to Houston's to talk to her about it.

Which, by the way, I love the idea of going to a relatively expensive restaurant to talk about how someone's not giving enough to charity. And I brought the leftover French fries for these children. These children here. I'm a good person.

I talked to her about it. So when we went to Grenada, don't be shocked because you and I both knew that you missed the mark. So Shamia's angry because she already scolded Britt in private and she's angry that Britt is surprised that she's getting a public lashing by Shamia. It's such a strange situation.

Such a strange take. Yes. So Britt says, well, like, if you can bring it to my face, then cool. But like, anybody else want to say something they can bring directly to me? And Portia's like, well, you did say at the end of your event that you don't feel supported. And

And then I was like, but then if I've never gotten an invite, how do I, you know, go to the next level? Or like a side call or something. And then Britt's like, are you asking me or are you saying? And she's like, let's talk in a friendly tone, Britt. And she's like, specifically, if you can't even like say my phone number, acknowledge me in a text message. So now we get...

a text you are you are pushing your luck trying to come for Portia again you got off you got off easy earlier in the season when you tried it and now you're trying to get and the way Portia had this look of like let's talk in a friendly tone she's like I don't want to start a fight with you because if I do I'm going to destroy you so let's not do this Brit but Brit of course doesn't get it and then we see Portia says how like she's like we were on a group text all together and I see all these new phone numbers and I don't know who they are so I'm like

Like, who are you? Say who you are. But everyone ignored Portia. And then later on, I guess when Britt tried to text her, she was like, well, you never say who you are. So I'm just not going to respond to you. And Britt has had this grudge ever since then, which is so petty and so Britt. Oh, I didn't even know she talked to her again.

But we see the text pop up on the screen and it has that thing like, looks like there's a new contact, Brit Eady. Add the contact to your thing. Oh, I didn't see that. Yeah, they showed a screenshot that made it look like Porsche did have the option to add Brit Eady's number and just didn't.

Well, actually, if they took a screenshot, that could have been way later. That could have been like, because they probably went back in the history. Well, that's true. You know, so it actually does not necessarily as indicting as it sounds. Well, it was a funny screenshot I was cracking up because it's very poor. She didn't tell me whose number it was. So whatever.

I'm on some god-awful group texts right now with a bunch of people I've played fantasy football with and I know who a bunch of them are but they won't say who they are and so I just see phone numbers phone numbers phone numbers of banter and I'm like I'm kind of like Portia I'm like I'm over it like if you guys aren't gonna say who you are I'm just not gonna respond to any of you I know a bunch of you are I really enjoy you but too many too many anonymous phone numbers coming in incessantly every single day

I just ask people and put their numbers in my phone. I don't know. Yeah, I've asked. No one's giving me their names. That's weird. So now people are... Now we're fighting about...

unrecognized names in text threads okay so then she's like brit's like porsche are you gonna let me fit so then we turn into are you gonna let me finish well i'm just trying to say but i'm trying to i'm trying to finish let me finish um let me finish let me finish so she goes let me finish baby and porsche is like not baby don't baby me she goes well you don't have to be like this she's like well all i'm saying is you asked why i didn't have

Why did I not have people's phone numbers changed? And Britt's like, I wasn't done speaking. Why can't I speak? There's three people. But I said he was in the chat. Oh, my God, this show. You guys need help. It's episode 13. Somebody come in and poop on the table. Something needs to happen.

so they're having this fight where brit is being again brit is the one who's complaining that people aren't supporting her and then here's someone saying like but you need to give something a little bit and then the prime minister's motorcade starts to arrive and i'm like oh god please don't do this no don't do this don't show up right now um and they're still like bickering and then he basically uh he basically shows up uh and it's the honorable dick and mitchell the prime minister

And he arrives and they're like, "Oh, hi." And he's like young. And like you said, he's just sort of like in a black shirt with a little pin on. And then they're like, "Oh, why don't you pull up a seat? Why don't you sit down with us?" And he sits down and they gave him like this little baby seat. Did you notice that he was so low under the table? I'm like, "This is the prime minister. Can we get a better seat for him?" - "Can we make an effort for this poor guy?"

So yeah, 'cause he just came in to say hi. He was like, "I just wanted to come by and say hi, bye." And they're like, "No, no, sit down so we can hit on you on TV." They're like, "Oh my God, you're so hot, you're so hot. "You'd end up with Kelly. "How many kids do you have? "You look like a kid, you're so young. "Show us your dick, let's see it." Like, jeez, leave the guy alone, man. - I know. So they are all flirting with him and asking how many children he has. He's got two kids and they're like teenagers. They're like, "What, you have got teenagers?"

So Phaedra's like, "Drew Zilla, if you're gonna be the first lady,

you've got to look like you belong here. And that Temu outfit is just going to be offensive, you know, to the constituents. Portia can fit in, but not you. So they're talking and he leaves, right? So Portia's like, wow, he also looked, he looked so young and not to be married with two kids. And Britt's like, well, I know some married men that don't wear rings as well. So

And Angela goes, yeah, my husband doesn't wear his wedding ring. And they're like, what? And Portia goes, does this girl got Tourette's or something? Why is she hollering at all her business out of nowhere like this? Oh.

So she's like, yeah, I went to therapy and I expressed to him that that little thing matters to me. And they're like, yeah, that's kind of a big deal. Wedding your ring, you know, Phaedra has a really good assessment. She goes, well, I don't know what's going on, but I do believe all marriages are hard. Most men are crazy, but most women love penises.

I guess it's a give and take situation. So, Ant is like, well, I guess I'll bring it up in therapy next week. Wait, whose birthday is it? And so, she's like, it's your anniversary. We're having a cake for you. And she's like, you guys, you guys made me feel the love in his absence. Thank you for that. This is more than Charles even did on our wedding night.

It's like a little Carvel cake. And she's like, thank you so much. So she's really happy. And Portia's like, I mean, he doesn't wear his ring. I mean, you're here on your anniversary. There's a phantom baby. It's just like too much.

Okay, so they're leaving and Angela asks Britt if she's okay. And she's like, well, we still didn't resolve anything. And Portia's like, there's nothing to resolve with us. And then Britt's like, well, the question was, why don't I invite people over? I mean, we never finished our discussion. Oh my God. I know, she's just trying to do this again. And Portia's like, the only reason I was bringing you up, it was to talk about how we can figure out how to support you. She's like, but remember, I never got to finish. I didn't get to talk. Remember, I'm supposed to have a scene.

I tried to stand up for you for this episode, but it's really difficult. Please be less annoying. She's she's a terrible casting choice. Like Bravo really flopped with her and and they're going to now be dealing with this headache of this lawsuit because of it. They really should have seen this one coming. She is not. She is not. She's not. She's not a Bravo stock.

So now they get into their cars and Britt's like, well, it's so weird. I never had issues with Shamil before. And Phaedra's like, okay, rule of thumb.

At the level that you're at, your donation should never be less than $1,000. She just lays it out there. And Britt's like, well, that's fine. But as far as Portia asking about not being invited to my home, Portia doesn't invite me anywhere. No, I'm not single-placed. You never invite me. Yeah, but you're the only one complaining about it. So if you're going to complain about it, you do it. It's like, you know when people say that, they're like, wow.

You never call me anymore. I'm like, the phone works two ways. If you want to hear from me, call me, you know? Yeah. And I like that Phaedra laid it out for her. She's like, well, listen, you're putting yourself in the hot seat and you're sitting on ready.

And if that's the shit you're doing all night, that's bullshit. You're joining a girl group and you're new and you're going to have to show yourself friendly. And she's like, man, she goes, no, I'm not, not, don't even be fake. Just show yourself friendly. And if somebody's saying, Hey, I want to come to your house. Well, you better damn, damn have a charcuterie. A little glass of champagne ready. I loved when she did that. Just, just like, hello. I mean,

Someone should have said that to Britt a long time ago. And maybe that is a slight problem with this cast, is that you don't have actually anyone who's like...

looking out for the newbies to be like this is how you have to act on the show like this is how you got to do it right because everyone's so like self-involved I don't know I don't know if that's necessary or not but I I wonder if that's something that would have been helpful well you need to train you I guess you know yeah so then uh over in the other car she gets a call from Gerald and Shiloh is sick Shiloh is

their child that has had lots of medical complications. And basically they had a nanny who just like let Shiloh be in a cold room without pajamas on. And so Shiloh got a fever. And for them, this is a really big deal because she has like an, like a compromised immunity system as it is anyway. So anytime that Shiloh gets sick,

it's actually very scary which actually makes it gives more insight to earlier this season when shiloh had like an ear infection and like shamia was losing it we're like it's an ear infection this is like a little dramatic but now it turns out we have more insight which is we knew that she had health complications

I don't think we realize that she has like a real issues with immunity. So she's just like really nervous and she feels guilty because she's on this whole trip and she's having fun and doing shot o'clock while her child is ill and may have to go to the doctor or the hospital tomorrow.

So then it turns into her crying and then everybody's supporting her. So now it's turned into like a huge crying drama, right? So they're all back at the house trying to support her. And they're all talking about how it's the worst thing that happens when your mom and your kids sick or whatever. And then Britt's like, okay, but Shamia, I love you so much and I will have your birthday. She's like, okay, thank you, Britt. No, we are sisters. We are best friends.

I cannot believe something almost came between us tonight. We are born in the same world. We come from the same mother. She's like, okay, that's enough. We won't die together. We won't go to heaven together. We won't be together forever. She's like, okay, thanks. We will all go down together. I am tattooing your face on my breast. I love you so much. She's like, okay, then.

She does like a full monologue, like a five minute monologue. And everybody started off nice. And then by the end, they were like, this bitch is crazy. Yeah. Cause the music was very serious. It was very serious. It was like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

but then like bris going so over the top that eventually moves into coconut music and she's like i'm gonna do a shot for you so she does a shot and then she takes off her top and she's like flopping her boobs on the counter which look we have no we have we don't care if people are naked and whatever we're body positive all that stuff but when she's sitting there talking about like i'm not gonna do a shot because that's like we're not like we're not like you know it's

like college girls. We're classy women. So if you're going to play like the classy card, knowing that like probably flopping your boobs out on camera, like that people would probably the same people who would care about doing shots in college, the classiest people would still probably be like raise an eyebrow at this. I'm like, it just shows that,

she's just so like full of it. And again, I'm not saying that I think it's classless that she's doing it, but I'm just saying that she's like kind of promoting some sort of value system. Well, one minute she's Miss manners and the next minute she's like flopping her tits on the table, you know? Yeah. So it was like, which one is it going to be? Right. Yeah. And they all agree. Everybody's like, what Phaedra's like, what in the magic city is going on? So yeah, that's that one for today. Wow. Um,

uh so Britt doesn't even show up to the reunion which oh yeah it's a what are they even gonna do for this reunion you don't have Kenya you don't have Britt we're gonna have to hear about waffles and how terrible Ralph is and how bad the nanny is for this whole reunion this reunion's gonna suck what are they gonna do I'm in it for the waffle content I'm actually okay with Britt not being there to be honest because she's awful um but the reunion will be will be a little challenging she's I mean I don't

We're going to get into it. The things that we're most likely to be talking about tonight is she's not showing up for the reunion. She's suing Bravo for 20 million. And on top of that, she's also went onto social media and announced that she wasn't even in the photos that Kenya was sending around. So it's a shit show and we will dive all into it tonight on crappy hour.

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