#2891 RHOA S16E15: Throwing Jabs
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Hi, everybody. Welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

Good. Both pretty hairy today, growing out your facial hair over there. Get a little goatee action. I know. I gotta shave. I gotta shave. It's actually itching. That's when I know it's time to shave, is when it itches. Yeah, a little itchiness. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. Happy Monday. Happy Monday.

We do our final show in Los Angeles Thursday night covering the Valley. We're super excited. Come check us out in L.A. It's the end of our mountain hysteria tour. We are also doing Love Island recaps every day that we record, which is three or four times a week over on our Patreon. The latest one just went up for a very crazy episode of Love Island last night. Go check that out. If you want videos of all our recaps, go check it out.

Just join us on Patreon as well. Or you can get them free a week later over on our YouTube channel. Just search Watch What Crappens in YouTube. How are you feeling today, buddy? Feeling great. I'm so excited. I'm really excited for our show on Thursday. Like, really, really, really excited.

And I'm like, honestly, Love Island was so good last night that I've just been kind of like riding that high. Oh, also, we're going to be on Julia Cunningham's show tomorrow on Radio Andy. So keep an ear out for that on CSXM. And also we are on the big flop today. We did a Jen Shaw episode with Misha. So go check that out. The big flop. Jen Shaw. We're all over the place. We're just like all over.

The place. All over. You know where else I appeared this week? Where? Nordstrom Rack. Did you? There's a Nordstrom Rack over in NoHo West. I didn't even know Ho West was a thing, but it's like this place with the Nordstrom Rack. So I went there. It was amazing. Is NoHo West the thing that's like on like where that Macy's was, like Laurel Canyon and something or another? Yeah, they redeveloped all that. I haven't been to it since it was redeveloped. It's really nice in Nordsy's.

So I was there yesterday. Hi, everybody. Okay, so today is Real Housewives of Atlanta. I love this episode. I think this was one of the best episodes of the Seas. And I have to say, I think it's because the energy of the OGs was great. Portia, Cynthia, and Phaedra opening this episode.

just gossiping in their room was fucking hilarious. And I think I agree a hundred percent. It's like, not that so much even happened this episode. They just were being really funny. Like the vibe, the chit chat amongst the ladies was very funny. I do think that like,

Phaedra is actually working out pretty well in just in terms of that she's funny and she's having all these kiki moments with the OGs. There is just a really strong energy there and it's just becoming more and more apparent how like useless Brit is amongst all this.

Even Kelly is somehow coming to life a little bit more. So I totally agree. Not much happened, but like great vibes. Yeah, it was funny. So they were talking about we open with them in the morning talking about the night before. How his housewives gone wild.

And they all got shit faced, basically. And Phaedra is like, well, somebody's probably pregnant. I might have gotten Cynthia pregnant for all I know. Cynthia got me pregnant. And then we see Grenada chapter three rebirth.

Yes. And so now Drew and Angela are talking about last night and Drew is like, you know, I've just been waiting for this vacation. Like that, that moment, that's just what I've been waiting for this whole time. I felt like the first time all vacation where it was just, we were all laughing, having an amazing time drinking, turning up. Everyone was twerking. It was like we were having a dinner party and there was no one crazy in the basement at the same time. What a wonderful feeling.

And Angela's like, yeah, we had so much fun, but you know, then, uh, you know, I know Britain, her monologue that lasted 30 minutes, which I've been thinking about all week. Brit's monologue, like, we are like sisters. We are soulmates. We have been best friends for 30 years. And I want you to remember that. And she's like, and I think she was coming from a good place, but then I start, I made the mistake of looking at your ass. And she was like,

what did i do and then we see drew just kind of giving her the side eye like what the is this chick on man yeah and then like drew is like she we come back and she goes and they say i'm the actress i mean well somebody else got me beat because what we saw last night i'm like of course leave it to drew sidora doesn't how dis her own career she's like i mean i'm clearly not a good actress like uh

Don't tell that. That's your career. Okay. Don't tell the casting directors. Like, oh, she took center stage. A round of applause. So they're making fun of that. And she's like, are they about to tongue kiss? And she's like, I was like, are you attacking Shamil? Like, what's happening here? And.

And she's like, Angela says, you know, what I thought was interesting is that I didn't even realize that her and Kelly weren't that close. And then they start talking about the dinner where Britt was left on an island over the charity conversation when Kelly was like, yeah, you know, you should give more to charity. Dun, dun, dun. Are they even really friends?

Kelly's the same girl who jumped on me when Britt and I had our words, so something isn't right. I mean, they're not speaking, they're not close, they're not laughing. My spidey senses are jumping right now. So they definitely feel like, wait a second, aren't these two supposed to be like besties? Why was Kelly not supporting Britt last night? Something is up. So Shamia FaceTimes her mom about the kid, like, how's the kid? How's Shiloh?

And she's like, well, you know, the baby was freezing. We got her out of the crib. She was shaking. She was so cold. And then she's like, and then what about the nanny? And she's like, oh, the nanny was at the North Pole. She had on like a heating blanket and a bikini. She was just fine.

Yeah. So to me is saying how she gets so anxious because anytime Shiloh gets sick, she often winds up going to the hospital and she's like a lot and she's just gonna try to enjoy her trip. So now we go over to Cynthia and Portia and Portia has this enormous hat that has like, like, it was just like,

- It was a shag carpeting. - It was just like a giant hat with like carpet on top. And she's showing it off to Cynthia. She's like, "This is my look." And Cynthia's like, "When are you gonna wear that hat?" She goes, "I'm gonna take pictures downstairs with it."

Okay, wow, that's a lot. So she basically asked her if she was talking with Shamia and checked in on her and stuff like that. Yeah, so then Cynthia comes over. I mean, sorry, Cynthia's already there. So Phaedra comes over and she's like, it's me. And she's like, well, girl, can you stand on your tippy toes? I can't see you in the door hole. I'm not strawberry shortcake. Okay, listen, I've been trying to play that TV so many times it won't even work in my room.

I need to see murder as I go to sleep.

A good crime show. I like to see people get murdered and then people running around trying to figure out who did it. You know, my mom, I've told you this story, but my mom can only go to sleep with horror movies playing or Lifetime movies. And it's so fucking disturbing. Every time I go home and stay at my mom's house. Oh, my God. It's like two in the morning and you just hear from her room. It freaked me out the first time I was home years ago because I just hear...

It's like top volume. It's like ladies getting their asses murdered. It's the only way she can go to sleep. It's sick. It's sick. Oh, my God. That's very intense for me. I'm so impressed that your mom can watch all those movies because I can't even watch a scary trailer, let alone a movie or anything like that.

Like I am to be able to watch one thing, but to need them to go to sleep is just it's like a whole kind of trauma. I don't even want to open. I think it's too late to even open it. You know, where does this come from? You know, at some point, just watch your damn horror movies, you know, go to sleep with it. I don't care.

So Phaedra saying, like, last night the girls were so crazy. I mean, like the shot o'clock or whatever was going on. Angela, you know, she gives me school teacher. Like she teaches math. She's very, very, very stern.

And then they're like, "Yeah, like when she asks you something, she's like, 'Here's my question!'" So Pedro's like, "Yes, I know. She was like Barbara Walters last night, all the questions. And I was like, 'I want to ask you one thing.' But by the way, what was going on with Shamia and the donations? I mean, everyone's got a Rolls Royce. I mean, that's not the point. I mean, the African Starter Kit is a fucking Rolls Royce and AP Bustown and some Ferragamo's. I mean, if you don't have that, you can't be African, okay?"

was hilarious she's like why are we acting like a rolls royce is a big deal come on now so cynthia's like what's a bus down and she's like oh yeah you know having like diamonds and everything everywhere

And Phaedra starts saying how she's like, "In Scamlanta, everybody's got everything." And she starts talking about how there's just like scammers everywhere. And Portia's like, "Yeah, Scamlanta is like a lot of scammers and scam-a-linas out there." - I love that Phaedra's bringing it up because you know, Phaedra is one of the top scam-a-linas in Atlanta. She's always been shady, fey, fey. - You guys have Juiced Door on your cast, so yeah.

So she's like, well, I got I get fingers, fingerprints and run them through the GBI because, honey, you'll be trick or treated in Atlanta. OK, there's more tricking than treating, though. So Portia's like, well, it just kept going and going. And the Brits getting more upset. You know, she's like a dog with a bone. I mean, you know, they're shading the building. You know who's shading me like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Dog with bone. Like that was the last episode where Shamia is like, do not call me.

I was like, we have to drop this metaphor because it's causing a lot of drama amongst amongst these ladies. So, um,

Yeah, so they're talking about how, you know, this whole thing from last night and Patriot's like, I have a little bit of tea, commercial break, and we're back. Here's the tea. So Brit said the glam people in Tinkerbell that Tinkerbell hired, they have to go with Tinkerbell or else. And as we suspected, and as we pretty much confirmed last week through the gossip, but as we suspected, all of a sudden,

all those little scenes earlier in the season were like something is up we're spending a little bit too much time with the glam squad and like why are we finding out that kelly's just lent a glam squad to brit for the day like why are they giving us this information with no follow-up it must be seeding something and here it is here it is

So she's, Phaedra's saying that Kelly doesn't want her using the same glam squad as Brit. So then we see clips of the stylists, you know, loaning the stylist out or whatever. So Portia's like, oh my God, finally the season is working. We've got glam drama. Thank God.

And she's like, I mean, okay, wow, we got drama. I mean, these are the same two that came out in the same pink outfit at my birthday party looking like Ren and Stimpy. Phaedra's like, they're like fake frickin' frack. Yeah, so Phaedra's like, there's not a pair of pants in the world that can keep me from my best girlfriend.

So they're basically like, Portia's like, yeah, they always, they like don't speak without each other. Like it doesn't matter who's talking. Like they basically finish each other's sentences. And then we see footage of them finishing each other's sentences. Yeah. And standing up for each other and stuff. And so Portia's like, well, you know, Kelly was very quiet while Shamia and Brim were going at it. And Cynthia's like, yeah, I was like, what's going on with Kelly? She didn't say a word. Well, actually she did.

She just said waffle. I didn't really know what that meant. Glad she got that in there. I didn't know what it meant, but I leaned into it because I thought I might get a free waffle out of it.

So she's like, yeah, she was making facial expressions, but then for Kelly to hold Brita accountable for that donation? And then we see the flashback where Kelly's like, well, I'm not saying it was the best donation, but if we're going to show up and be that girl, we have to be that girl in all aspects of our lives. I say Rolls Royces for everyone here, every child. With a waffle on the inside. Do you know I got a waffle iron, by the way?

I'm surprised you didn't have one. That's the big surprise in that news.

Yes, I, I, the good people at Cuisinart sent me a little waffle iron and I have now started to make waffles and I am now, I am now in the full waffle. I'm in my waffle era. Oh, so you're going to be like waffle influencing now on your Insta? I don't know if I'm a waffle influencer. I'm under no obligation to be a waffle influencer, but I am doing waffle experiments. I definitely, because we talked last week about waffles and fish and,

So I did make a waffle and I put pickled herring on it and it was delicious. And so I am now fully, I'm a little waffle. I'm like a little Kelly. I'm now becoming my, making my own little waffle empire in my place. And I have to say, I waffle irons are fun. That's huge. You got sent a waffle iron from Queensland art. I love that. I know you're on the radar.

Yeah, I don't know. I, yeah, it was very cool. I'm not, I'm not mentioning it because of Cuisinart. I'm mentioning it because I'm really liking making waffles right now. And I'm expect, expect, expect a lot of waffle stories going forward. That's my little advertisement. Yeah. Putting some art in the Cuisinart.

So they're still talking about what's going on with these two crazies. And Phaedra's like, you know, I mean, I told her, I told Brit what she's doing is weird. She's just, it's too much. You know, people want fun. They want fun. And she's like, you know, we like fun. We like fantasy. We like dungeons. We like things and drinks. So maybe she was giving us fantasy by showing us her tits because she had an inverted nipple the other night. They're like, what? She goes, yeah.

I said, "Oh, we got nipple problems." And so she popped it out and it popped out like a balloon. - And they're like, "What?" Then Portia turns to Cindy goes, "Oh, like your clit."

And Sid is like, "Uh, excuse you?" And she's like, "Your clit. You know, the thing in your vagina. You know how that's all inverted, you know, just like your clit." And she takes her cloth and puts it over her face and just like, "That's not meant for TV." She's like, "Oh my God, well, I have a hood." And they're like, "A hood?" And Faye goes, "A hood? There's a clit with a KKK. What's in a..."

Oh my God. She's like, I've been getting racially profiled. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. So then.

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The spotlight is harsher. The stakes are higher. And for Diddy, there may be no second chances. You can listen to the rise and fall of Diddy, the federal trial exclusively with Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple podcast right now. Now we go over to Brit heading over to Kelly's villa and they start to they start to catch up.

So this is awkward. They're doing like the you look rested. Well, I got rest. So and Kelly's like, well, OK, the night maybe started off a little. But, you know, it's a lot of unpacking, you know, in the situation with Shamia. And oh, that was a lot better. But that's over anyway. I have to go to court. I'm getting divorced. So you can't fight with me right now. OK, I know. I know.

And she's like, yeah, because, you know, we have to go over property things and so depressing, you know, my divorce. She goes, uh-huh, I know. She goes, okay, so I guess we'll talk about last night again since you're not going to give me a lot of drama about my divorce. So let's go back to that thing.

As someone who's recently divorced from her insurance license, I completely understand. So Britt then is saying, like, you know, I felt like last night, it was like mixed emotions because I just felt from some, like, it's just different energies, I think. And I think, like, the part that was just, like, kind of weird is just, like, we've always been good. And at the dinner, like, we were talking about donations and I was like, wait a minute, like, what's going on?

So she says, yeah, you know, like, I mean, when we're around a group, like you act like I'm a cheap bitch. Like when I ask you multiple times, tell me what's it good about? Like, is it about donating or something else? And she's like, it is. It is about donating. And look, Shamia just wanted you to show up a little bit more, even at your event. You know, I mean, I took my entire team and, you know, especially when you say things like I took my entire real estate team to get plastic surgery.

which I love the comparison. She's like, okay, everybody send your kids to my office. I'm getting them all BBLs. You just got all these like kids walking around Grenada. They're like, I don't have a house, but I do have a very juicy ass.

Yeah. And this was like Kelly's very nice way of saying, if you're willing to give your staff BBLs, you should put in more than $250 and some like toilet paper for charity when you're on a TV show and we're all pulling up. Like you need to pull up as well. That's our nice way of saying it. Like, I just felt like, you know what you did. So of course, like,

You know, Brit, she says, I feel like, you know, I really want you. I feel like there's a higher purpose for you, which is, I think, such a diplomatic way of saying it. And Brit's like, well, for me, it's really not that complicated. I mean, I love that you're so giving and welcoming, but sometimes it's okay for it to just be like, you can just be you, Kelly. And I feel like you use your team and your hair and your makeup as a shield. So Brit is like,

turning this around on Kelly when Kelly's basically saying like, you need to like, you're on TV now. Okay. And she was like, okay, well, if you're gonna come for me, I'm gonna come for you and be like, you're fake. And you have all this bullshit. And it's to hide the fact that you're just a fake person. - Yeah. And I kind of get what she's saying. 'Cause this, Kelly's telling her like, we're on TV and like, you need to show up more. And she's like, well, we're on TV and you're doing too much. So I may be doing too little, but you're doing too much.

And she's like, well, I don't know. It's weird. She's talking about my entourage, but she kind of wants my entourage at the same time. And Britt's like, I don't need a whole team around. She goes, okay, okay. Then why did Britt host an entire meeting with my glam squad behind my back at her home?

I mean, you don't need a whole team. You literally hired like a fake butler for your lobster, your catered lobster dinner at home. And you just literally got BBLs for your team, your actual insurance team. So you're definitely team oriented. You want people around you. So Kelly is like, you know, I just I don't mind extending my team until she could find one. But at the same time, it's like, damn, do you want my gynecologist, too?

Yeah. And Brett's like, well, she was the one who let me work with her team. She was the one who suggested I work with her team and that, and then she told them that she doesn't want them working with me. She loaned your, she loaned you her team one time. As far as we've seen, I don't think that meant like, oh my God, you should use the exact same glam team as me.

Yeah. And I think that she would be okay with it too. If she, if, if you had a conversation with her being like, you know, I love Paris. Um, I think I'm, I'm sort of, I would love to keep working with him. I think I'm going to reach out and like hire him if that's cool with you. And I'm sure Kelly would have been like, that's great. You know, but like doing it behind the back feels kind of like poachy, you know? And the thing that's funny is that neither of them look great to Paris is not a good stylist. Yeah.

I think anyone watching this show can agree that these two really don't look like they've been styled that well. So they're fighting over some pretty bad styling. Yeah.

I don't know why that cracked me up so much. It's just like I wasn't expecting that Paris was going to catch a stray from you in the middle of this. But you might be right. I don't think anybody's walking away from this season like, you know what? The outfits on Kelly and Brett. Wow. Wow. Well, it's also that leap of hair on Kelly's forehead. It's like the little roller coaster, the loop-de-loop.

So she's like, well, instead of allowing it to be a lesson in front of the whole group, like, I mean, you know, if you're aware of something with Shamia while you're building this relationship, then share it with your close friend, you know, and then we can get past it, which I kind of agree with her. I mean, Shamia had already gone out with her. They'd already had the discussion with Brit. Then, I mean, they've talked about it a million times and Shamia was just trying it. Just like, okay, now we're all together. So I'll come for you about the charity again.

So I don't like Brit, but I think that was a little extra of them last week to come for again. Normally, I would say Brit has a little bit of a point here, which is like, hey, you

Kelly, you know that Shamia is mad at me because I didn't donate enough. You should have given me a heads up and I would have fixed it. But the thing is, what we learned is that Shamia actually took Britt to lunch, probably a free lunch at Houston. At Houston. And Shamia already told her, so Kelly doesn't need to tell her on top of that. Like, you should know. And again, I still stick by my own weird theory, which is like, you work in insurance, so you should know how much things cost.

and like what's an appropriate amount to donate and like you should just be good with valuations so um now we see portia and angela go into the pool and they're just talking about how nice the pool is and everything and people start to join them this is very much a people joining the group episode we have a lot of like hey

like people coming out one at a time to different locations. But like, you know, it's just what it is. It's a little bit of a filler episode. Not going to lie. Yeah. And some of the girls went shopping. So they're all dressed the same. Shamia Kelly, Shamia and Kelly, I guess are wearing like matching swimsuits and

And Angel's like, you all got so much time on your hands, twins. I mean, come on now. And then we see them, Kelly and Britt, wearing matching bright pink from two months ago. She's like, that's what we do at our big age. So they are, more people join. It's shot o'clock. Shots and shots. They've been dressing the same. And oh my God, more shots. Lots of shots. Nothing that...

i'm just sort of going through the notes because it's like shots shots everyone's joining more and drew are in a better place assume you love the energy they're all talking about how great of sisters they are they're all sisters now then what is sisterhood which i love when housewives because that just means they're all about to turn on each other in a grand finale

And they're all just like bonding, like, guys, this is the best group ever. Now we've gotten to the worst part. The fighting is over. We can just be sisters, right? This is the best. And they're like, wait a second. Where's Brit? Oh, yeah. Brit's not here. They just don't even realize Brit's gone. Yeah. And they ask Kelly where she is. And she's like, I don't know. And they're like, what's happening with Kelly and Brit? So now the chairman of the Granada Tourism Authority shows up.

- Grinnell is really being nice. I mean, they're just sending everybody out. - They're rolling out the red carpet. They have like every member of the government has come by. I mean, so we're gonna have like the agricultural department here, department of the interior, it's great.

So, and by the way, each one of these like officials is like very attractive and they're young. So they're like, wow. It's like another person goes, is that another prime minister? Baby, these ministers are fine out here in Grenada. Yeah. It's like, nice to meet you. And Phaedra's like, I'm a hugger. Come here. She goes in and hugs another government official. So Rick comes down and they introduce her to Randall.

And so Kelly is like, oh, this is Randall. Randall's the one that helped with Hurricane Barrel, making sure that we donated. So, Randall, do you have anything to say to Britt? Yeah. Do you have that bucket I gave you? Just hold it out to Britt. Hopefully she'll put some money in there.

Randall, if you had a pleasant time on the toilet this morning, you can thank Brit. She donated that toilet paper and only that toilet paper. Oh, by the way, Brit barrel wanted to see if he could take you to the Houston's in Grenada to have a talk. Barrel. The hurricane takes Brit to lunch. It's like barrels like, look,

When I'm a hurricane, it's just like it's in my nature. I destroy everything. And I rely on people like you to fill in the gaps after me. And if you don't do that, you're going to give me a bad name. Okay? Do you know how many BBLs I sucked up in the storm? So I'm going to need you to replenish. People have a really bad impression of me as a hurricane. But what people don't realize is that I gave three tornadoes a BBL. Okay? Because I care about my team. Okay.

So later they're going to go to Jab-Jab. So he leaves and Phaedra watches him walk off. And she's like, I did date a wonderful man. He was bow-legged. That was impressive. You don't see that anymore. I guess they all started drinking that vitamin D infused milk, child. No one can get the rickets now. Yeah, and then they just stare at him. Phaedra's all upset. Phaedra's all upset that people don't have rickets anymore. Is that what bow-legged is? Yeah.

I don't know what causes. I don't know what the fuck she's talking about half the time, but I laugh 90% of the time that she talks.

I do know that some people really are attracted to men who are bow-legged. I don't know what the story is. I don't know why. Why is that hot? Why? I'm not opposed to it, but I just don't understand why that's like hot versus like muscles, you know? Okay, hold on. Rickets, a bone growth disorder caused by vitamin D or calcium deficiency can lead to bow legs. Wow. You see? You see what Phaedra teaches us?

I have knock knees, so that's why I am into bow-legged guys, because it's like the other side, you know, it's the other yards. The grass is always greener. The knees are always less knockier. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, but people really like, they're into bow-legged. I had a friend once who was bow-legged, and this other guy came up to me and was like, yeah, those bow-legged, yeah.

I love that bow-legged man. I was like, what? I was like, I don't quite like, I'm not taking it away. I just don't, I didn't, I don't understand. Like, it's not something that ever like was on my checklists. So it's like a weird thing. I'm like, really? I don't think I'm, I also don't think I have a very good bow-legged dar. I'm really bad at seeing, I would have a hard time seeing if someone's bow-legged. It's weird.

- No, you can see. 'Cause it's not just a thigh gap, it's like a thigh arch, a thigh vagina, like it's a thigh opening. - Is it 'cause it kind of looks like you're riding a horse and so maybe that's what makes it hot? - Yeah. - Like a cowboy thing? - I don't know. I don't know what it is. It's just hot. It's just like, 'cause I don't like monogamy, you know?

So I'm like, what did you do that Jesus loves you? And I'm not your bow legged. So, yeah. So they're talking about jib jab. So rude. They're talking about jab jab now and explaining what it is and stuff. And they have to wear oil all over their bodies and jab jab horns. And it's a form of protest. And it normally starts at 6 a.m.,

And they're going to do it at night for the ladies, which is wise. It's wise. It's going to be much better. Big thing. Yeah. Big, big jab, jab thing. So, and then meanwhile, Drew and Shamia are talking.

And actually, sorry, Kelly and Drew are talking. And they're realizing they have the same wedding anniversary. And on top of that, they've been married for about the same amount of time. And on top of that, they're both divorcing. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.

like oh my god the same wedding anniversary that's crazy um so um peter goes that's not a good sign we're just like yeah because they're both in the same boat um so and peter goes yeah and the boat sunk there was a man with rickets on that boat

I fucked that man with rickets on a boat. Well, every boat does have a bow. Bow. Wordplay would have been better if it was written because they are pronounced differently in person. So then Drew is saying that she was actually planning on doing a vow renewal

Which I'm like, okay, so Drew, you did cause the divorce because you said vow renewal and now you precipitated the end of your marriage. Congratulations. I'm just glad she actually, for once the order was proper, which is the divorce before the vow renewal as opposed to vow renewal and then the divorce a year later.

Yeah. So they talk about their divorces on board. So then Portia's like, OK, you guys, I'll be right back. I have something very exciting to show you. This is an amazing moment of Portia being a good person because I'm the kind of friend that if you're going through something, I want you to feel good about yourself. And that's why I'm letting Shamia wear my Snuffleupagus hat. OK. He literally says, wow, he's like, I'm letting her wear my hat and taking a photo of her.

Wow. You know what? She really does show up as a friend sometimes. She really does. You basically are the charity in Grenada. Somebody give Brent her toilet paper back. Horses won this one. So they have this little photo shoot thing and it's, you know, it's nice. It's, you know, it's fine. And now we have Kelly. She's in a room and she's calling Bobby, her divorce lawyer.

She's just talking about like how this is going. She's overwhelmed, you know, and she talks about how going through a divorce is one of the most difficult things that you ever have to do aside from cleaning a waffle iron. Very, very difficult. But, you know, she's like, I hate that it's come to Grenada with me because the purpose of me coming here is to reset and have my moment. But then again, it's also my only storyline that I've got going on and I have to keep my storylines going through this vacation. So, oh, well.

Yeah, so she's telling the lawyer. So, yeah, and also we bought a lot to build a home, and it was an anniversary gift that he technically gifted me. But then I heard he sold that lot to a friend. And the lawyer's like, well, do you have a deed for the lot? Like, can we see who owns it now? And she's like, well, he gave me the document and, like, a card. But I don't know. Like, I don't even know where the paperwork is.

So now there's lots missing. And did he buy that with her money? Was that a gift with her money? Is there not a docusign in the cloud somewhere? Come on. So then Kelly is like, she's saying how he's not making it easy on her. And she just she does a really good job of hiding it because she doesn't want her kids to ever. Honestly, I didn't really listen to this scene. I'm going to say because it's been the same scene for like the whole season. I want to see her make. I've had enough divorce. Yeah. I know. Like I get it. Don't happen in five minutes.

But I don't need them talked about 45 minutes out of every episode. I'm done with your divorce. Okay. I'm over it. It's an off-camera drama with someone I don't know and I've never met and I don't care about. So I just know you're going to divorce. My heart goes out for you. This cannot be your A story. Okay. I'm telling you. I truly want to watch her make waffles. I'm not just saying this because, oh, I got a waffle iron. It's like I literally would, I would literally prefer to watch her making waffles in her restaurant than I would

listening about this divorce. Well, and also in this episode, we're getting a little bit of the stylist thing, but they're not confronting each other about it. It's like they're both, Britt and Kelly are both, it's like they agreed to not come for each other about this stylist thing. So they're talking their way around it. And you guys are too new to be doing that shit.

You know what I mean? Yeah. That's like Housewives fifth season when you're trying to hide storylines and you've agreed to keep certain things off camera and blah, blah, blah. And your first season. And that's not a good sign that you guys are already hiding storylines. I don't like it. Yeah. And now I have to know this whole time. You guys keep repeating the same old bullshit over and over instead of talking about what's really going on. And I think that that's not great. It's not it's not a great sign for a reboot. You know, well, while Kelly tries to keep a storyline in the dark.

Something has come forward from the ether. Shamia's luggage, it has returned. Shamia finally got her luggage and she's like, yes, I finally have my looks again. And so she puts on these boots and she's ready for jab jab. And they're like, yeah, you can't wear that. I was like, she waited.

an entire vacation to finally be able to wear her own clothes. They're like, no, don't wear that to the Jab Jabs. Yeah, because they're going to be, they have to be throwaway clothes, you know, and they're going to be covered in oil. She has chameleon boots.

Yeah. And Britt's like, I mean, any clothes you have to throw away, like the shoes are done no matter what you do. And Phaedra's like, I know you're rich. You're very, very wealthy. Now go change. She's like, okay. You've proven your point. Get out of these Chanel wellies and put on some

Some boots from Marshalls. Okay. Yeah. Cynthia is FaceTiming with Amsterdam, which is her man. And she's showing that she's made like little condoms for her braids. She's had them like in like fabric. So that way they are protected from the oil, which is funny. They're like little like little elephant trunks in their bags. And Amsterdam's like, wow, great.

So now everybody's making like little videos for JabJab and Insta posts and stuff like that. And then it's time to get on the bus and go to JabJab. So now we're with Shamia, Cynthia, Drew, and Angela in one car. And it's Shot O'Clock. It's Shot O'Clock. Shamia, it's Shot O'Clock. It's always Shot O'Clock with Shamia. I think I'm done with Shot O'Clock. I think...

The big time is up for shot o'clock. Can we divorce shot o'clock? Okay, it's time for our divorce storyline. Shot o'clock is over. It's officially dead. I never would have noticed it except that when she said that shot o'clock is her thing, that's of course put it on my radar. And I'm like, okay, your shot o'clock has 15 minutes of fame for me. And now shot o'clock is expired. Yeah.

So Kelly's got horns on and Portia's like, "You're single and those are haters. "Those men don't come close and we're single, okay?" And Phaedra's like, "Those are cock blockers. "I wouldn't wear those horns." And Kelly's like, "Jab-Jab is gonna be the liberation "that the doctors ordered for me "because divorce is really hard. "I've been going through a divorce. "It's been so difficult. "I hope that Jab-Jab can liberate me from divorce."

I want to pour some oil on this divorce storyline right now. We send it off, send it off to the ocean. So they're all talking about how like, Oh my God, I want my man to be obsessed with me. I want him to like touch me and kiss me and give me gifts. And then Phaedra saying she doesn't like people touching her toes and yada, yada. And, and,

They're just like talking about guys and they're just like horned up because they're about to see a whole bunch of like hot Caribbean men like covered in shiny oil. So they're ready. They're ready to get their lady boners on.

Yeah. So then Shamia's in her car recording a selfie video with all the ladies. And she's like, this is what eight years of marriage look like. Oh, my gosh. I'm right behind her with the seven years. They they want to be they want to be scooped up by some men. I hope that they can get some man. And meanwhile, Portia's like fucking feet. Right. Like I had a guy who dated feet. Like you ever tried to jerk off somebody with your feet. OK, just go to Jab Jab.

So now we go to this festival that's crazy. It looks so fun. Yeah, it really does. And they really do cover themselves in black oil. And it was actually like...

It was actually visually amazing because everyone's in this like shiny dark black oil, but then it's like night. And so there's like these neon highlights everywhere shining off of everyone. And it was kind of like, it felt like bacchanalia and it looked, it kind of looked like the sort of thing where, you know, I don't like to get myself dirty, but sometimes you sort of, when you give yourself over and you're like, fuck it, I'm just covered in oil. Like it looked great.

But man, I also can't, I feel so bad for all the taxis on Grenada. There's a lot of dirty, oily seats. A lot of taxis got ruined that night. - Yeah, a lot of hotel rooms. We see it covering the hotel room the next day. It's everywhere.

The service industry must not like Jab Jab. They're like, oh, fuck. Pre-order the bleach. Yeah. So Portia and Phaedra dance with the same man. And Phaedra's like, I'm Christian. Oh, my God. I'm pregnant. We got the same baby daddy. Got us all pregnant. And she's like, wow. Thank God I got my ring in. Gosh, he's a devil's minion, that man.

Yeah, it's really they're really going all in, you know, and so there's party, party, party, jab, jab, jab, jab, jab, lots of jab, jab. And then finally they leave. And so now it's the next day and we see like all like their jab, jab outfits that just little piles around. We see Portia's jab, jab, but print on the wall. We see like soiled sheets everywhere.

That's a lot of cleanup. Yeah, it's a lot. So now they're packing to go. And Cynthia has an electric blanket because she gets cold. And wait, who has an electric? Someone does. And Cynthia's like, in Grenada, you need an electric blanket. So Brett's like, okay, let's go. Anybody have the Jab Jab hats?

Basically, look, let me tell you something about this episode audience. It was really fun to watch, but literally nothing happened. Nothing happened. Like we were literally sitting here like I'm trying. We're not hating on it until something happens, but nothing happened. But it was a good, it was a fun episode to watch.

It's one episode. Like, I was cracking up the entire time. But, yeah, nothing really happened. Yeah, so now they're laughing about how the cleanup, like some ladies cleaned up better than other ladies from the oil because there's still oil everywhere. And Britt's like, well, I mean, I see these ladies that clearly you do not shower properly. I mean... And Fredrik goes, oh, yeah, Britt came to my room. You know how you...

How after you have your baby, the midwife comes in and scrubs your back and just gives you that little bath. That's how she was scrubbing me. I scrub every inch of her body. I felt like I had a baby. I was like, bend over, spread your cheeks. You're going to feel violated.

That sounds intense. I just love Brit saying like, "Some of these ladies don't know how to shower properly." I love when Brit attempts to make herself seem like she is a proper lady and everyone else is just like garbage. Like when she was like, "I don't do shots. That's for like sluts in college. Okay, I know how to shower properly." Oh, settle down, Brit.

So they talk about getting the oil off and stuff like that. And now let's talk about Kelly's divorce. So Drew's like, so how'd the meeting with your attorney go? And so she's like, well, yeah, I had to talk to my attorney because I'm getting a divorce. It's very painful. It's a divorce. So that's rough.

And she's like, you know, guys, look how bad my divorce is. It broke the talking crystal. Yes. I stood up and the crystal broke in half and she holds it up and they're like, oh, oh my God. Like, what does that symbolize? Well, I Googled it because I was so upset and it symbolizes divorce.

the end of a relationship and like oh my god i'm like you realize this is the end of the relationship with brit this is not the end of the relationship with the x because that relationship is over this is this is the brit symbol here yeah you already knew about the other one yes uh so she's like i'm gonna throw this crystal in the ocean so help me release this crystal

So they got littered together, which is really nice. And Kelly's like, you know, I'm just going to leave all this anxiety and everything pertaining to court in Grenada. I wouldn't because you got court like next week.

Yeah, it's not going to stay in Grenada. It's coming back. And then she's like, I just pray that when we get back to Atlanta, we can continue the sisterhood. I'm like, you're on The Real Housewives. Bravo will not let that happen. And then we see 72 hours later, Kelly goes, guys,

I'm not divorced. I'm like, yeah, no shit. Of course you weren't divorced. There you just entered new evidence into this thing about him selling the land. Of course you're not divorced. And he went to jail today. She adds, what the hell? But we don't find out why. And then we see a fast forward.

And Angela's asking Kelly how she is with Britt. And she's like, I haven't spoken with Britt since Grenada. Fast forward, fast forward. She showed me text messages between the two of you guys. And then cuts to Phaedra in her car. And she's like, well, just hold on to your panties. Some man had word for Angela. Your husband is cheating. We just see Mimosa humping a pillow in the background.

And then we come back to Grenada and they're like, yay, sisterhood. Crystal's been thrown in the ocean. Yay. So that trip is over. Wasn't the most thrilling trip, but you know, it was a funny episode. And now we have the home stretch before some sort of crazy event wherein they accuse Charles Oakley of cheating at, at some gala and Angela gets mad. So we, you know, it's a slow march to that. And that was the episode.

All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. We'll see you guys Thursday night in Los Angeles, and we'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

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