*Re-Release* Love Hotel 0105 Part One: Santa’s Back in Town w/ Guest Amy Phillips
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Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! I'm Ronnie and today Ben is in Norway, Norway-ing it up. So, I picked the most gorgeous, talented voice...

friend I could find. Amy Phillips from the Drama Darling podcast. Amy, hello. Hello. Thank you so much for letting me be here today. I am not an AI. I am a regular person, not AI. I am happy to be here filling in for Ben.

You cannot even joke about that anymore because it is happening now. People are very upset about AI taking over the world. It's already taken over. What are you going to do? People are sending me those like real housewives, kids, babies doing reenacting the scenes. And I can't, I'm like,

I can't do it. I don't know. I can't. It's scaring me. It's terrifying me. But then I'm like, oh, is it funny? I don't know. Yeah. People are like, don't you worry that you're just going to become irrelevant? I was like, you missed that train. Oh, yeah, for sure. And then like every other day, SAG is like, we're trying. We're trying. We're storming the Capitol. We can't control the robots. Yeah.

I know everyone thought it was going to be like Terminator where the robots were going to kill us. No, they're just going to take all your jobs. Yeah, that's it. It's worse. It is worse. We'd all rather just die than work. Wait, would we? I don't know. I don't know. We get to live, but we don't have to. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. This is amazing. I love it.

Yeah, those AI babies. I was watching those yesterday. Someone posted one in the Atlanta Reddit and I was cracking up. I thought it was so funny. It was so cute. And then I read the comments and they were like, F everybody who likes this, you goddamn monster. I'm a horrible human being. Really separate people.

It already has. Yeah, it's bad. It's really bad. Well, anyway, we're real. Hi. Yes, we're real. Thank you so much for having me. Hi, Ben. As far as we know. Yeah. Well, welcome back, Amy. It's so good to talk to you always. So you've been doing drama, darling, for a while. Two years. You're home raising your daughter. Yeah. How's it been going? Are you loving it? I love it. I love working from home. It's amazing. And I'm up here in Santa Clarita. If you're watching...

um, the Valley, which I know you are, uh, we refer to Danny as Danny Clarita because, you know, he's up here in Santa Clarita, my neighborhood. Um, I'd like to say I put Santa Clarita on the map before anyone even knew it was there. And they still are like, where is it? So I'm really happy that the Valley is starting to embrace my neighborhood and thrilled that they moved up here. Um,

Santa Clarita. Yeah. I'm going to Santa Clarita. I'll give you another baby if you go to Santa Clarita. That's so good. That's so good. Nia, I can't quite get her voice down, but she's kind of like, rolling, rolling, rolling. Is she not so nasally? I lived in my car. I lived in one of us. She's kind of got the Rachel Raquel. Oh, yeah.

It does have that vibe. You're right. Yeah. So Santa Clarita, tell me about it. Is it because I feel like do you feel like Danny kind of tarnished? You know what? I feel like Nia did because she was like, I don't want to have anything to do with that trash pit, you know? And I was like, listen, give it a try. She's right. It's you know, it's a lot of open space. It's it's the suburbs, you know, but you say you really have the best of both worlds. You have everything.

It's great for kids. The public school system is amazing. The restaurants suck, but that's why I'm always at Chili's, which I like to say, I mean, Chili's is really the only place that we go. Like that's pretty much it. If you want to get good food, you have to go into LA and that's great. But I do love it up here. And I've made a lot of good like mom friends, you know? Yeah. Santa Clarita moms. Yeah. The Santa Clarita bonitas, you know? Yeah.

Is it? The Santa Clarita Bonitas? I don't know if they know that I call them that, but I do. I'm from El Paso, Texas, so everything there is kind of like Spanish-based as well. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. I love it. Santa Clarita Bonitas. And that's how you pronounce it, too. You do. The Santa Clarita's Bonitas. Yeah.

I think it sounds so fancy. I mean, it's a saint. Thank you. It's a pretty saint. Although most saints are poor, you know, I guess is the thing. No offense. But like Santa Ana, you know, the Santa Ana wins. The Santa Anita's a shitty racetrack. Like the saints can't really win. No, they can't. The Santa Cruz. Those are just the A's. Right. Santa Claus.

Santa Claus. He got better. He actually came back to Love Island today, which was good. What? He was brought back. Love Hotel. Dude, I call it Love Island like no one's business. I can't not call it that. Thank God someone else is doing it to me because I'm sick of being corrected.

It's making me crazy. And then Love Island is coming back. We're covering that. So, of course, I'm calling that Love Hotel. You know, you trade one out, you put one in, which I kind of wish it was because I could use six hours of Love Hotel a week. Oh, my God. Don't you think that Luann should host it next time?

Yes. Or Giselle. I saw someone online suggesting Giselle because Giselle really doesn't want to be there anyway. She doesn't. And you're right, Luann, she would host it, but then she would just hook up with all of them.

men anyway. She would fuck everybody. Yeah. Yeah. I used to cover The Bachelor and the running joke was that Chris Harrison was banging everybody in the porta potties because like, why else is he there? You know, he's always disheveled and kind of greasy. His hair is always kind of a mess. He's worse than Jeff Probst. I mean, Jeff Probst is like, you know, pretty put together.

Jeff Probst does like push-ups before takes. And Chris Harrison's like, I'm tired. He has like a little golf thing and a porta potty and that's it. Especially on that Bachelor one, the Bachelor on the Island or whatever it is. The Bachelor on the Beach. The Beach Bachelors. Paradise and Bachelor. They're going to throw in Golden Bachelors

And bachelorettes with these beach bachelorettes and bachelors. Did you know that? Are they really? They're going to put Ashley in there. Ashley's a proven test case. You give Ashley a decent meal and she's like, I'll take the expired milk duds in the freezer for dinner.

Five dollars. You're right. Here's an all-expense-paid shopping trip to Bloomingdale's, Ashley. Ooh, a thrift shop. Totally, yeah. I love them all. We know, Ashley. I love when they put up the pictures of Ralph and Michael Darby to compare them. And you've got one with the watery eye, the old dog that's about to be put down eyes, Michael Darby. Darby.

I mean, poor Gollum, you know. Poor Gollum. Then you've got exhausted Ralph. I don't know how I got here. How did I get this beautiful woman in my big arms? I've never done this before. Starting to get that slightly confused look in his eye. Bless his heart. Okay, let's do this. Love Hotel, season one, episode five. Guess who's back?

That's the episode title. Is it really? Jesse's back! Clever. They've been getting pretty creative with their episode titles, but this one... This one was just on the nose. Yeah, I know. I'm like, who? Right. I couldn't think of one person. Not even him. Like, who's the star? Like, who's going to be the star of the season? Like, wow. They're going to bring him back. I can't believe he was cut so soon. If it wasn't ahead of Broccoli, I was going to be upset. Broccoli? Broccoli?

Yeah, totally. Because there's that's the only person I was like, oh, did they make him leave and then bring him back? Because I couldn't think of anybody else, you know? Yeah, it's Earl. Earl the Pearl. What do you mean you don't eat vegetables? I'm going to go to my grave thinking about that. I know. The last thing I'm going to see before I die. What do you mean you don't eat vegetables?

And look, she did come in hot. I'll give it to him. She did. She's like, I was just joking. I was joking. It's like, no, you were genuinely angry. And that's okay. What? What? What? I can't joke. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I

Just stuck. Just the sun gun stuck. I call her a verbal strobe light. Everything slows down. Like it's slow motion. That's so good. Shannon is a rave. Yes, exactly. Bless Shannon's heart. So, okay.

Okay, so we start with this scene with Shannon and Earl, where Shannon sits on the couch last week and she's like, Earl, I have wanted to give you this envelope with something in it. And then he starts sobbing and she tells us, this is Earl's goodbye note or parting gift or she says something like that. And so all week, the internet, the world, Macron has been wondering why.

What was in that letter? I just saw a clip today of Macron getting off the president of France. Macron, I guess I should say. Getting off the plane in France and his wife was hitting him. Did you see it? What? Really? Yeah, she smacks him. They open the plane door and the wife is like slapping, like pushing his face. And then he turns to the camera. He's like, hello. And then they kind of reset. You see all the plane steward ladies like, hello.

Okay, back up there. Back up, old lady McCrone. Wow. Let's try this again. And McCrone comes off the plane, first lady. She's like, I was joking. I was joking.

Rumor is she hit him because he guessed what was in that letter wrong. So what do you think? I don't blame her. Did she have like a pair of gloves where she was like, or was it with her hand? I feel like there should be gloves. What did I think was in that letter? It was with a cheese. It was with a big slice of cheese. Of course.

I was like a star. Like, you know, do you give someone one of those stars in the sky? Was it like a penguin? Was it a Sheena thing? Remember when Sheena got someone? Yes. Was it a penguin? She adopted a penguin for Adam, yeah. So I thought like, it's a penguin. Or a star. And then I definitely. We've got a baby. A baby penguin. Yeah.

I can't believe Adam left me after I adopted a penguin with him. They're furry when they're that young. I don't know. That's what I thought. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I'm like, what could it possibly be? I thought it was going to be a food pyramid. It was not. It actually surprised me. It actually surprised me what it was. Shocked because I completely forgot about that story.

Yeah, she was like, well, Earl, you know, you talked about your stepchild never speaking to you again and you've kept his motorcycle in your living room. Yeah.

30 years or whatever. And he changed his name and grew a mustache and got a different haircut. But I found him. I called my lawyer and I found it. Way to get rid of those rumors that you were sicking private investigators on people, Shannon. Oh my God, that's so funny. I'll tell you what, I was like thinking, yeah, if you want something done, like these guys have no idea. If you want to learn how to stalk

find something, you put a housewife on it. You're going to get receipts, timelines, screenshots, a child from your past. Like you will find them. And the fact that she just made one call and was like, I hate

You know, Shannon, she is so, you know, she can be really charismatic. But I love the softer side of Shannon when she gets really quiet and she's like, I just called my attorney and I said you have to find this little boy. He has a special boy. You have to find him. Three days later, he did get a call.

Also, he told me that this boy pushed Kelly Dodd's mother down the stairs. This boy. So she found the son in Santa Clarita. Yes. He's doing zombie voiceovers in Santa Clarita.

He's chugging tequila behind a pantry door. Yeah. And this was really actually kind of a sweet scene because Ralph starts sobbing. He's like, oh, my God, I can't believe you did this. Ralph, you could have done this. You know what I mean? Here's what I was thinking. You fucking deadbeat stepdad. All you had to do was look him up. And second of all.

Was the son happy? Because you know that the son changed his address and his phone number. This aired and he was like, what the hell? We have to move again. He did. He did. It is very concerning to me because this was all. And then she's like, and everybody knows. Oh, my God.

Because he's thinking now I really have to step up to the plate. I could have before. I didn't. I mean, I don't think it would have been that difficult. Do you? You know, I mean, maybe he was maybe he was doing maybe he was respecting his privacy. You know, I mean, I don't know if a kid tells you I never want to speak to you again and then they leave and then they don't tell you their information. Mm hmm.

Are you allowed to? I mean, I don't know. Is that assault? Well, respecting the right, respecting the mother's privacy, if she, you know, because he had no rights. So he clearly was like, OK, I guess I'll just step aside.

Yeah, because at first I thought, this is so sweet. Oh, my gosh, Shannon. And then I thought, well, maybe he didn't want that on purpose. I mean, I've watched a lot of Lifetime movies, but I could just imagine this guy like, we're packing up the car. Get everybody in. He gets an alert. Earl just standing out there in the bushes like, you're never getting your motorcycle back, you little shit. I know. He's been riding it. He loves it. I did such a deep dive on Earl the Pearl's Instagram.

Did you tell me what you found? Well, I was OK. So positives for Shannon. A lot of celebrations of St. Patrick's Day. So a lot of Irish, you know, top of the morning, you know, so a lot of that. I love Earl. He smells like whiskey. It smells like home.

He has a boat. It's like called the Irish Pearl, I think. So boat, obviously boat, obviously Irish drinking dogs. So those are the two, three positive things. Now, my friend, Emily, who co-hosts with me, those are big positives, by the way, are big positives. Okay. So Emily co-host of drama. She says, I was like, I don't know. What do you think? She goes, they, they are definitely not a match. They would go day drinking and,

like friday through sunday and fight you know monday through thursday i'm sorry emily do we look for different things in people like that sounds uh that sounds like a marriage emily yeah what the hell it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

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Also, he he dressed up for like a murder mystery dinner. So I feel like he as an actor was an interesting twist. So I don't know if that was like a one time thing or if he does that occasionally. But yeah, well, we're both improvisers. We're no stranger to the murder mystery parties.

It's embarrassing. Okay. It's embarrassing. We know it is. Nobody wants to marry us when we're at dinner. I did one where I was, I had to play an evil queen and I was like the snow white evil queen. I mean, kind of, but those pictures are forever. No, but we'll just send them to Earl. He'll, he'll gladly put them up. Want to come on my boat?

Let's go find my stepson. I'm really into Shannon and Earl, but I guess they're not into each other. I don't think they've lasted. Earl had kind of a post-season glow up. I've seen him on his, um, Insta. Ooh. And I think he dropped a little, you know, it was looking pretty hot, but I don't think it was Shannon. All the guys got real thirsty on their own Instas after shooting the show. Have you been doing, have you been looking at the only Earl? A lot of selfies. So yeah, I hear you there. Um,

I don't know. I haven't seen anybody else. I haven't just talked down anyone else. I'm waiting for Shannon's attorney to send it to me. I just read Reddit, but I'll see stuff occasionally. That's funny. The only one I really want to know anything about is Love Hotel! Hey, Luann! Yes, Julie? I'm going to stick it in you. She's like, all right, get on over here. Okay.

They, the fact that their voices are on completely separate, he is so high and she is so low. They really do blend very well. I hope that he makes a cameo on her cabaret tour. Oh, he will. He,

You think so? Wow. That was really confident. You were really confident. I think so. Yeah. Well, you know how at first she was like, oh, Luann and guests. It was like the countess and friends. Yeah. So the first time we went, we both went to that show. Remember? Yeah. I got wasted and got kicked out. They had, well, at the end. I don't remember that. I don't remember that because I must have been wasted too. Well, we went to Ben's house before for like a cocktail party. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, Amy, it's so good.

to see you and I like slammed three drinks back and by the time we got to the show I was inebriated which was fitting for a Countess show flinging around my napkin screaming and then at the end it was the time for the VIP line and they were like can I talk to you outside sir I was like why does a security guard want to talk to me outside Luann love hotels being dragged out of there

I remember that. Damn, I would have come with you. I'm sorry, my friend. I should have been there for you. I don't blame you. You were probably out of there like the first 10 minutes into my interview. I was not fun. Anyway, the point is she had all these special guests. And at first they were like, you know, it's Elphaba from the Broadway production of...

Right. Yeah. It was like, you know, Angels of America from the 1992 production on Broadway. Murray Abraham playing Roy Code in Angels in America. Right. Yes. A lot of Broadway stars. Yes. And then by the end, it was like, you know. Bongo. This guy. Oh, yeah.

It was who? Bongos. Just bongos. Just bongos. She's gotten pretty good at those bongos. Oh, dang. Real good. Yeah. She doesn't do it anymore with the friends. She's just, I even, I straight up asked her. Because I interviewed her right when she came back from Loeb Hotel. And I was like, yeah, are you going to have, you know, any other friends? She's like, I don't do that anymore, darling. I just do myself. No more friends. Oh, my God. You sound just like her.

Well, you have to evolve. You've got to evolve. I do it like this because I've been trying to get her lower voice. You've got to do it like this, darling. Darling. Darling.

Like you're kind of like opening up the crypt, you know, just like I'm coming out. Just like her. That is so funny. But yeah, she's doing it on her own. She just wants she doesn't need people. She doesn't need them. Yeah. So that's why I mean, like she started with these huge like Broadway stars. And then she's like, by this time, it's like this guy from Love Hotel. Yes.

Well, we went from Diane Weest to this person. Diane Weest. Yes. Yes, Weest.

Wait. Go ahead. Oh, no, no. That reminds you of what? We don't have to actually talk about this show. No, I love this show. This show is amazing. So, yes, we should definitely talk about it. This show is amazing. Okay. So she's like, well, my heart's been breaking for Earl because he's never known the joy of having a child. So I ignored the human trafficking warnings in the airport and I human trafficked his son back to him. Oh, man.

Oh, God. There's trafficking signs in the airport. They are so intense. And I was so my daughter was like, what is trafficking? I was like, there's just like a lot of people in the bathroom. So you have to really watch out. And she's like, but it says human. I'm like, oh, my God, I can't have this conversation with like a seven year old. But I was like, it's basically stranger danger.

But, you know, I mean, I didn't want to have that conversation like in the middle of like an or the Orlando nightmare airport. Well, yeah, especially when you're with a kid. What are you supposed to say? Well, you're supposed to be aware of strangers in airport bathrooms, but they're all strangers. I don't know everybody in the airport bathroom. It's like your kid's going to be terrified to pee. That's the thing. Yeah.

Anyway, so. Yeah. God, stop warning about human trafficking. Am I right? Please. It's ruining my vacation. Can you just warn me about something real like carbs? Watch out for carbs. They're everywhere. So. It's Ed Schippel's.

She gives him this letter. He starts crying. And he's like, I can't remember the time somebody gave me a gift this meaningful besides the motorcycle. I'm shaking. I'm literally shaking right now. I'm shaking. I'm literally shaking. This line. This could only be a Shannon line. Well, after the Fiesta date.

I got some basic information from Earl and I called my attorney and said, we need to find this boy. And three days later, my attorney found him. Thank you, Milk.

So they found the kid. So he cries and she's like, well, you know, the producers wanted me to do it in front of everybody. Everybody knows Earl. Everybody knows the good deed that I did. This was like wearing a push-up bra for my reputation, Earl. You're welcome. Yeah.

Earl was like, I, um, thank you. So you're saying everybody knows, like we can't cut this part out. So are you saying, yeah, there's a party downstairs. Everyone's waiting for you. Everyone knows, Earl. Everyone knows. So after the fiesta party, I sat everybody down, everybody, the cast, the crew, the lighting people. And, um, I said, Earl has a son that hates him and won't speak to him. And he's stolen the son's motorcycle. We need to find the son. Find the son!

They're all waiting down there to see sad, sad Earl. Sad, lonely Earl. So put your best sad face on and let's go. Also, I don't think it's working out for us because I just really feel like the vegetable thing is getting in the way.

I love that she will never dump Earl. It's so hilarious to me. Every week she's like, I'm dumping Earl. That's it. I am better than this. I found a new man named Adam. He wears scarves and degrees. So, yeah.

Yes, I love that. I will now be with Adam. And then five minutes later, she's like, oh, God, Adam, I'd have to wear makeup and curl. I could just take off my Spanx. And I mean, who cares? I don't even have to have eyelashes. Who needs them? I can be eyeless. I could not have a tongue. What would he care?

One elbow. One elbow. Earl would love me. Earl would still stick it. Neck tight, face tight. No more of those. No more tights. No more Spanx. No more nothing. It could be a great life just on the water. Maybe not on the ocean, but a lake. Oh, no, I can't do lakes. I can't do lakes. I can't do Earl. Earl, you're back. Lakes are the only green thing in Earl's life, so I should learn to accept them. Poor Earl.

Oh, Earl, I wanted to write our own vows. So here's mine. Earl, I have to make no effort with you. I can fart in front of you and be as ugly as I want to be. Wow. Okay, your turn. All right. Thank you, Shannon. Well, I got this shell here. If you open it up, you'll see a pearl.

It is a lake pearl, which means it's from- How dare you? How do you look at me like you hate my guts, Shannon? You hate me. Get used to it. Get used to it, buddy. I love that. He's like, why is it that every time I say something, you look like you want to kill me? Yeah.

i'm jo it's my sense of humor i love that she's like i was joking i'm like earl this is called the honeymoon phase just you wait oh higgins so can i ask you a question when shannon was like i'm just drinking diet coke dot dot dot and tequila were you shocked because i was i thought she was still not drinking

Oh, no. I think they just do that when they're like, no, I don't think she ever stopped drinking, did she? Even on Real Housewives of Orange County, she was like, I didn't stop drinking. Because Tamara was like, why are you drinking, bitch? You almost killed the house. Killed the house. And she's like, I don't know. I don't. Why would I stop drinking? I don't have a drinking problem. I have a driving problem. Right. I stopped drinking cars. Right.

I just thought that she stopped drinking after that season, though. And then she started doing community service and she wasn't drinking at all. I was completely under. No, I think I'm wrong. I think I'm dead ass wrong. So I don't remember that. I feel like that would have come through on my Google News because I have like a Shannon Bedore, you know, Google alert. Oh, that's amazing. You must have seen that she got a new dog. Did you see? Yes, she did. That is so I feel so bad for Archie.

You're excited? Okay, let's debate. Okay, I know. Why are you excited? Okay, you're right. It's bittersweet. I'm excited because I know that, look, when Archie passes and it's going to be within the next- Is it soon? How old is Archie? I don't know. Oh, no. Where did I go? I'm here. I'm just hitting a vape like a teenager, so I do it off the camera because I'm a professional. Oh, thank you. Okay, good. No, feel free to do that. Hi. Oh, my close-up, Mr. DeMille.

I don't know how old Archie is. He's got to be like 12 at least. He's got to be at least 12. So I'm thinking she knows what's around the corner. She's got to bring in a new guard in order so that it's not as hurtful when Archie, you know, crosses the rainbow bridge. And honestly, I don't blame her for that. I think that that's the best decision for Shannon. I think it'll help keep Archie young because, you know, when you bring another pup in and it just,

It helps things. So I'm going to go. Is that true? Because I feel like gays try to do that. Like, well, bring in a younger model, like to make us feel young. It does not make me feel younger. I'm like, oh my God, this waddle is really getting out of control here. Is this a pashmina or a neck? I'm not really sure.

It's Mark's scarf. I'm getting a neck waddle scarf. Yeah, the reason I think it is depressing is for all the reasons you just gave for it being a positive. I think it's because my dog is old. Like, my dog Bueller is old. And so it's probably getting time for the Rainbow Bridge. But I'm not. I can't let him go. And, you know, I love him so much. And my sister's like, no, you have to get a puppy because for all the reasons you just said, because it'll make it easier to transition. And then plus, yeah.

Bueller will have somebody, I don't know, to get old with. I don't know. I don't know. It was along the lines of what you were saying. Right. But I just felt like Bueller would know. I think Bueller would be like, oh, okay. Did you bring home a syringe as well? Jesus Christ. Then do not do it. I mean, I completely, I just don't, I don't know if Archie knows. I believe Bueller probably knows. I think it depends on your dog. I think it depends on you. And I have a cat. So what do I know? Yeah.

That's like, bye. Right. I'm leaving now. Leave me alone. Get out of my right. I want to be alone. Okay. So yeah, she's getting the art. Why are we talking about? Oh yeah. Her drinking. Yeah. The housewives. I don't know if they ever really quit drinking. Like they say, because remember when Luann went to, I've been to prison, would you say?

I've been traveling. I've been to prison. So when she did her whole sobriety storyline and she's like, oh, come over to my apartment, she told somebody. And then she's like, do you want a Diet Coke or something? I'm not drinking. And then she opened her fridge and it was all rosé bottles. No.

Do you remember that? Yeah. Yeah. You're right. So I don't know that they ever quit. Good call. Good call. Okay. I'm set straight. I'm set straight. No. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I have no facts. So this is a show of no facts. So, um, Adam. Okay. So now she goes down to the bar and Earl's like crying. And the guy's like, we know, we know. Go get him. Go slash his tires. Put a brick through his windshield. Do whatever you got. Get back to stalking. Okay.

See you on the Lifetime movie. Yeah. And Adam is talking to Shannon and she's like, well, you know, she's doing that humble, like play with the side of her hair thing. She's like, well, you know, I did find his, his long lost son. I'm a very good person, Adam. I don't know how many languages you can say good person in. And his, like, he just keeps distancing himself. Like he walks back a little further and a little further and,

He does not see, he doesn't really seem to want to be there either. And when he said last week, if I could put you, Shannon and Lou and mash them together, I'd have the perfect lady. I was like, please leave, sir. Like, what are you doing? Who wants to hear that? I know. What a disgusting thing to say to someone's face. To someone's face. Yes. Like Ashley says it today.

behind some, you know, she's like, if I could take those two guys. Yeah. But you don't say it to the person. You're such a good, you're such a perfect half a person. And then of course he doesn't kiss Shannon. She's real upset about it. You know, she, the night before she was like, you missed this. These lips, you had an opportunity to go here. And you did it. And then it's like, well, not been to paradise and you have not been to me. Yeah.

Very nice. Yeah, the ladies on this show really want the men to jump them. And I'm like, guys, we're in a different time. Especially Luann's like, why didn't you jump me? Like in this episode, she's like...

All right, you had your chance with this. You didn't even do anything. So now I am here right here. What are you going to do? He's like, really? And she's like, oh, Jesus Christ, I'm going to poop. I can't even take it. I know. She did. She was like, get your shit together. Who do I got to blow to get someone to blow me in this? Mike, but it's a different time. I think the guys are trying to be respectful and not just like grabbing people.

grab your butts and jump all over you. Right. They're not watching The Bachelor every week to see that you have to do that on the second, the second you have a one-on-one, you got to go in. They don't know. Earl knew. Earl knew because Earl saved up his trauma. He shot his trauma wad and then he made out with Shannon. Yeah, that was smart. That was smart. You have to do that, especially with these ladies, except for Giselle. Giselle doesn't want that.

No, Giselle does. Giselle's trauma is having to go on dates. What do you think of Philip? Phil? I mean, Phil. Oh, I love living in Bel Air. It's just so different than normal places. You know, we eat in Bel Air, but their restaurants are just so different. Sidewalks are different. People aren't allowed on them, for one thing. That's nice. Bel Air. So psychotic. You look so psychotic. I love it.

I love it. The fact that he said gated community so many times, I was like, is that all he knows about the housewives? Is that what he thinks is like their buzzword to like get them excited? Gated community. Gated community.

He has his priorities right. I really appreciate that about him. He prioritizes the son that doesn't have a restraining order on him and loves him. I'm so glad that Giselle gave him a chance, but I don't know how far it's going to go. Giselle gave his bank account a chance. That's right. She does not like Phil. What does Phil give you? Phil gives me like Eartha Kitt impersonator in Palm Springs. Exactly.

Yes. Oh, my God. Maybe he is, actually. You think you've got one up on me, Batman? You've got nothing on me. I've got the special power of belly. Gated community. No one is getting a boner for Phil. I can't believe it. But she's like, he has an RR. Okay, so Shannon, you know, is very proud of herself.

And the producer's like, so Adam, is Earl your biggest competition? He's like, there's no competition here. I don't really have any idea what's going on with her and Earl, but I have a scarf. Seriously.

This guy needs to look alive. I can't figure this dude out. Come to life, Adam. And then when you do get him talking, he's like, well, I opened telehealth communications group in Kalamazoo. I have no idea what he does because it put me to sleep. Whatever it is, dozed.

Yeah, I felt like it was money laundering. I don't know. It sounded fishy to me. But Ben assured me that telehealth and catamaran or whatever is great. Telehealth and catamaran. They go hand in hand. Telehealth and catamaran. They go hand in hand.

whatever he was saying last week Ben's like no no totally telehealth telehealth and Kalamazoo ran or wherever it was totally normal but I still left hesitant shout out Kalamazoo I'm from Michigan what's up here's the mitten here's the mitten I'm from here oh yeah mittens shout out mittens mitten it up mittens

Okay, so Shannon's like, oh, yeah, I did that for Earl. He was shaking. He was crying. Gooped on the floor. Earl, God, I changed his life. So she's like, well, and now Adam wants to see where he stands clearly from his line of questioning. So get over here. Break open this here, old buddy. I glossed it up. I used the plump hand.

plumping gloss and he didn't even take a taste. Commercials, here comes one right now.

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or create party favors to share at your graduation festivities. Visit M&M's dot com and use code Wondery to receive 15 percent off your next order. Speaking of watching someone live through their trauma on television, here comes Joel. Welcome, Joel, everybody. Hmm. Wait, who's? Oh, Joel. I'm like, which one of the guys is Joe? Oh, right. The host. Yeah. He's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Is it too early to take this off my LinkedIn?

I mean, that is such a wild ride to see this, you know, happening, knowing what went down. Like at what point this happened at the wrap party. Yeah, that's right. And so it happened off of this, but he, I know it's, yeah, it is. I want to see him. I want to see him turn. Hmm.

I know. I wish we could see it. Yeah, but we don't. We just hear him kind of drone on about because this man hates his job. And I can't really say that I blame him. But you know what? If you already hate your job, let me tell you one thing that's not going to help. Showing up in a speedo. Oh, that doesn't help your job. That doesn't that doesn't make you like your job more. I find, of course, I have a very different build than Joel. But to me, that's like nightmare fuel. I think he loved it. And I think the ladies loved it, too.

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I should work out. Shouldn't we all? I have Swig on my. Yes, I noticed. Stanley, because I'm recapping. Well, mom talk. You know, we all call it mom talk. But oh, yeah. So I put that on there for later. Swig, the soda shop they go to. Yeah, it's the soda they drink. If you don't watch it.

I watched the first one. I haven't watched the second one yet because I'm waiting to see if we're going to recap it. But Ben's in Norway. I don't know. It just seems like too late because don't they all come out at one time? Yes. But what I'm doing is I'm like we did one the first episode. We just did one recap the first episode. Then we're going to do two at a time. And then the last one we'll just do on its own because there's 10 episodes.

But I found that if you just take your own time through them, people still listen because it happens so fast. I mean, everyone is binging, but so much happens in an episode that it's worth taking your time through it. And there's only 10.

Okay. Yeah, well, I'll definitely be watching it because I loved the first season of it. They're all so weird. Oh, I know. They're just so weird. It's a crazy wild world. Yeah. Anyway. It really is. Like, I'm used to the Christian repression or whatever, but the Mormons take it to a different level. I'm like, you can't drink, but you can have orgies? Right. I mean, I'm Mormon. I'm just kidding. You imagine. Yeah.

I'm too lazy for a single. That's less multiples. I'd be like, no. I can't do it. I can't commit. Yeah, it's too much. So Joel comes out and he announces that they have to solidify their connections because guess what? Tonight, new men are coming in. What? Fresh used sail rack men are coming in. Watch out, ladies. I can't believe this.

At this point, I said, how long is this show? Because I think this was going to be, I think it should be six episodes, right? I mean, it's Love Hotel. How many do we need? Yeah. What do you think? I think, is it six total? No, no. I thought it was going to be because. Oh, six seems about right. Five or six seems about right. But they didn't say next week on the season finale. Right. They're going to keep it going. So I was like, well, how long is this? Because don't the girls trips last six? Uh-huh.

So I figured it was six, but it's not. It's not. No. Because they didn't say next week someone dies. Are we ever going to get in the ocean, by the way? Like speaking of, are they near an ocean, right? Yeah, we haven't even seen Luau. I'm like, look at me. I can surf. I know. We haven't.

been seeing... We should be seeing her on the beach at some point. All we've seen her is just walking around this concrete. It's not right. Well, we saw her do that fake scene where she's like, alright, let's take a walk. Let's take a walk on the beach. And then she walked two steps and then turned around. She's like, alright, I'm done. You get that? Is that in the cam? You're right. Earl the Pearl and Shannon did walk on the beach too. You're right. Okay. I apologize. We saw the beach. But yeah, they haven't gone in it. I don't think. So then...

See, I'm skipping through some of this because I can't stop talking about stupid shit. James steals a heart for Lou. Yes. Yes. He steals a glass heart from a tree. He's like, OK, read the note. Read the note. It says you stole my heart. So I stole a heart for you, motherfucker. I hope you like I'm going to stick my penis in you later. Oh, God. Love it.

Love it. I love a man that steals from me. We're going to be the Bonnie and Clyde. The Bonnie and Clyde. She would love it. Housewives. That is, I love your James so much. It's so perfect. Oh my God. Doesn't he sound like that? He does. That's also how I do Bronwyn's husband from Salt Lake City, so it's kind of cheating. And he, Bronwyn's husband doesn't even sound like that, but.

Let's just make him sound like that. What do you mean you're talking about my wife like that? You better back up, buster. You're going to get one right in the soccer. He has that vibe totally, though. You're so right. Nailed it. Get off my lawn, you dang kids. But James really does talk like that. He does. I can play the guitar. I can play a G and a C. Love Hotel. Yeah.

So they joke about their mic shots and they put the worst mic shot of James up. He's just like, Oh, that was, and, um,

So then we go to Giselle's relationship. And Jason is having to wait for Ashley because Ashley is just leading all sorts of men on. Ashley's got them all. What a ride. Yeah. Joel says Ashley verse, which is actually perfect. Yeah. He's in the Ashley verse. And isn't Ashley still dating Beavis from Potomac? Yes.

The timeline of this is very sus because it's almost like she said, wait for me. I'll be back. I just have to do this show real quick. And so I think they are still. It's all for TV because I think they shot this show in. I mean, it lasts a few hours, but I think they shot it in five minutes, which I'm not sure how that works. Yeah.

Yeah, because they don't even get them in rooms. Like when the new men come on later, they're like, do you guys have rooms? Like, no, they've been just having a sit out here all day. And so I guess this is that's the worst. Like when you go and you have to travel and then you get somewhere in your room isn't ready. You just don't have a room to sit in the lobby or go, you know, do something around the city and just like leave your luggage there in the summer. Yeah. In the summer on a beach in your full clothes. I'm sure they love it.

So Giselle is talking to Adam and she's like, so Shannon, you've been connecting with Shannon. So, you know, you need to make out with her or something. Come on. Solidify. That's my two cents. Yeah.

Shannon. Yes, I love it. I love it. I love it. And he's like, yeah, well, Shannon and Luann told me both to jump Shannon's bone. Or no, Luann and Giselle told me both to jump. God damn it. Told me to jump Shannon's bones. But I don't know if my scarf is ready for that yet. What is he hiding behind that scarf? It's so tight and so short.

I don't know what it is because when he takes it off, you know, because you take it off and I'm like waddle patrol because, you know, I want to get my waddle under control. So I'm like, what do you do with his? And I think he had the thing where he got it like put behind his ears. I'm going to get that.

But he doesn't have a waddle or anything, so I don't know what he's hiding. Yeah. But he does shave his beard in that shape. Oh, right. You know how guys do that? Where they're like, look, I have a square jaw. Right. Oh, my God. I totally fell for it. It's like the contouring that women do, right? Yes. It's Lincoln logging your face for men. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I thought maybe I was like, does he have a cold? Does he have a sore throat? Is that because like that's that's tied in such a way where you're like, I just had a lozenge, you know, and you're like, yeah, I'm feeling better. I don't know. Yeah. But he's just shoplift in old time in the old times. Right. Yeah.

Oh, wait. Sped? I was preparing him for the town square. Yeah. So congratulations on making it halfway through your journey. Okay. Damn it. He does seem so bored. He's like, oh. So some people are going to check out of the Love Hotel. Gentlemen, if you want to say anything to these ladies now. Someone pick Joel up. He fell over.

Weekend at Bernie's. So Jay's like, okay, before Giselle tries to eliminate me, I'm out of here. I'm going to self-eliminate. Fuck this place. Fuck all of you. I'm hot and have a job. And nobody gave me the time of day. Okay. So thanks. Bye. Bye-bye. Good for him. And then he does her. Tear wipe. Tear wipe.

tear wipe, tear wipe. All that, all the bullshit tear wipes of these housewives I can't, you know, stop with your tear wipes. Stop. Stop. They're not real. If anybody needs me to cry in any scene, just please say Wale is eliminated and I will cry. I will cry. Wale has to stay. Wale has to stay. She loves him. She does. She's like, anything but getting rid of Wale. Please, please. I will give you Archie. Please, Wale.

That's why she got the new dog. Now we know. She gave away Archie during Love Hotel. Oh, God. She made a deal. She made a deal. Gave her firstborn. I just was like, are you going to cry? Yeah. And...

So they all hug Jay and he gets out of there with some self-respect, which is nice. And Shannon's like, wow, Giselle, really dropped the ball on that one. God, I'm going to scratch my head and do this with my lips. So then, I'm sorry. So Jay's out of there.

um so joel's like yeah i don't think any of us saw that happening but i think it speaks volumes about jay wait who said that uh joel i don't remember him saying that but i was like what does it mean and then he goes and i think it speaks volumes about the men here what are you talking about

Shannon's like, well, God, this is so hard. This is so, oh, God, I don't want to go first. Please don't make Shannon your first. I said, I said, I didn't want to. Is anybody listening to me? I take Earl. Adam, I love that you have an education. Yeah.

I pick idiot Earl. I pick stupid, uneducated Earl. Turns out I get turned on by uneducated people, Earl. Come on, I guess Earl. I can be in control until he won't let me. And then I will find another person from his family and then we'll get back on track.

I have an unlimited supply of investigators and detectives. Don't get me started on how I know someone from Jersey. I will use those sources. I will.

Don't make me use my source. So Luanne is like, well, well, would I have picked Earl? No, but you know, Shannon's a Shannon. Shannon's gonna Shannon, basically. So now Giselle gets to pick and she's like, well, I'm super happy where Phil and I are right now. He's like, thank you, Billy. It is my honor and privilege to accept this key.

Free stream. And Luann, well, you know, I'm giving my key to James. He's the only man who can play the guitar and a penis at the same time. He can play guitar with his penis. James, you're in. I'm so grateful. Gosh, it's like opening her heart.

My vagina. Stick my penis in it. It's my vagina, Earl. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It wasn't Earl. What's your name again? James. It's my vagina, James. It's what it is. I'm like an oyster. Earl, don't get any ideas. You're disgusting. Earl's also textured kind of like an oyster, but in a much less sexy way. So... Lake Oyster. Lake Oyster? Lake Oyster. Yeah.

Okay. But last, last but clearly not least, it's the Ashley verse. Ashley. And she's like, well, I, well, we have such a great time. But, you know, you just want to have children. And I'm not sure if I want children. So I'm picking the old one. Ralph, come here.

What are you talking about, Ashley? Because she sat Wale down and was like, do you want children? And he said yes. And she said, when? And he's like, in a few years. And she's like, wow, that's a really long time, Wale. And he's like, okay, well, I can have them in 30 days if you want. Like, do you want them now? And so now she's taking that and she's like, oh my gosh, you guys, Wale is stressing me out because like now he wants kids and I don't want kids. And he said he wants them within 30 days. Okay, that's...

He literally has them on layaway. Like, we have to go get them right now. I mean, he gave it range. He was like, it could be a year, could be four, be anywhere in between. Yeah. I could want kids. I could not want kids. You tell me what I need to do to win this show. She's like, okay, you've given the correct answer. Wally gave the incorrect answer. He's trying to pressure me into having children. I have a boyfriend waiting for me in Potomac, somewhere in the Potomac area. Okay.

I mean, honestly, like the fact she cannot be with someone who wants to have a child. You cannot do that, Ashley. You're done. You cannot have another baby. Like it's it's please just have fun with your life. You know, what do you think? You don't think that she should have another child. Do you?

Well, I don't know because I have kind of a cynical view with Ashley because she was married to Michael. And you don't – I don't care what Ashley says. No one marries Michael Darby for love. I'm sorry. I just don't – I never bought it. I'll never buy that. I don't think it's that crazy to say it. So I think that she will have babies. But I think she loves having kids. I just think that she needs –

You know, she needs a moneyed man. I don't know that Wale is not. What does Wale do? I forgot. Don't know what one of these men do. I'm not interested. Hello, the Kalamazoo. Catamaran. Catamaran's a country. Yeah, Catamaran's a country. I hear the words. I see what's typed up and it just washes right over me and into the drain. I just let it go. Yeah, they are kind of those like generic guy jobs. Yes, right. Mm-hmm.

So I don't know what he does either. But I think that Ashley – but then she's with Beavis and I don't know what Beavis does either. So I don't really know. I've always thought Ashley has some kind of weird relationship with Michael Darby where even if she didn't get with him for love, they've come to some sort of –

thing over the years like some kind of comfort where he's just always going to be there I don't think he's going to be one of those exes that's going to just go away and I think that she probably likes having him there in some way she does remember when he was like oh I'll just buy a house we'll put it in the LLC and then I can still come over whenever I want to oh my god okay great and her family's like no you can't do that why Michael wants to open an Oz 2 in the new house and he can come over like what

It's a good idea. I talked to my lawyer about it. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't think that Ashley is going to if she dates young like Beavis, I think it's just going to be dating. I don't think she'll get married. I think if she gets married again, it's going to have to be a heavy hit. And you're right. If she does find somebody who she really does feel like she's in love with and has money and is interested in really being hands on raising a family.

Then maybe you're right. She'd do it. Or maybe if like Beavis does threesomes with her and Darby or something, and then he can like accept both of them and take care of both of them. Yeah. She made something like that. She needs like a TLC marriage. Yeah, she does. She's going to move on over there. Yeah. She's going to outgrow Bravo with some life changes and go over to DLC smart. Yeah. I would love that. Ashley and Michael Darby married to Beavis raising a big, crazy family.

It would be kind of amazing, actually.

But Michael's never seen. He'll never be on camera. No, no. Unless, well, maybe on TLC you're allowed to grab people's asses. I don't know. Because wasn't that his thing when he left? He's like, I will not be called a predator for trying to take a free sample off a sample tray. They're like, Michael, that was not a sample. That was an employee of the company. Well, it was there. We're at Costco. Um.

I was just trying to be nice. So if they let him sexually harass people, he'll be back. But who knows? Yes. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckas. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber Way.

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Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches!

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Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Know your worth with Jason Kerr. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She gets an A, it's Kelly B.,

We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Shadley. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alcalani. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.

She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Kutar. We love you guys.

If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

Every successful business starts with an idea. And on The Best Idea Yet, we're obsessed with those light bulb moments. Like how a bored barista invented the Frappuccino during his downtime, and then it got acquired by Starbucks. Or how Patagonia's iconic fleece was inspired by a toilet seat cover. On The Best Idea Yet, we dive into the untold origin stories behind the products you're obsessed with.

and the bold risk-takers made them go viral. These are the wild ideas and insights that made Birkenstock the best-selling sandal since Jesus. And made Super Mario the most played video game in the history of attention span. Yeah, Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow The Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor.

Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop?

From Wondery and At Will Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it. And the 2019 movie adaptation of...

Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery+. Get started with your free trial at wondery.com slash plus.