Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome back to the Basement Yard, Francis. Yes. Oh, Francis today. I don't like it. I don't like it. It's not your name. Take it back. It's definitely not my name. It's a white's name. How are you? I'm good. Your tongue's a little pointy, isn't it?
Anyone who's like not watching has no idea what you're doing. Yeah, I was just he was making his tongue very pointy and I was doing my finger drumming which I Very clearly told Joey one of the skills. He doesn't know that I have I'm a very good finger drummer. I will can I say this? Yeah, I
You have a fantastic knack for annoying me very quickly. And because of that, when you started doing that before we started recording, immediately I was fired up inside. And I wanted to yell, but then I was like, this sounds really cool. It's not bad, right? Listen, listen. I don't know if they can hear it, but it's like...
Like, what is this? I don't even know. I mean, it's tough because you got to give me a beat. I'm not, the beats, making beats are never my strong point. I hate when people tell me that, by the way. That's one of my big pet peeves. Do many people tell you making beats was not their strong suit? No, but someone's like, yo, give me a beat. I'm like, why am I, why am I being, I don't want to give you a beat. I've never been a good beat giver. I mean, either. Like, I'm not going to just sit here and I'm going to beatbox all of a sudden. The fuck is this? Bro, I can't tell you. There was a point in my life I tried so hard to beatbox. What?
I can picture you and he just didn't work. Dude, seriously. And you know what it was? I forgot the name of the guy, but there was a song that came out in like 2006 and he sang and did the beat at the exact same time. Do you remember that? No. It was called If Your Mother Only Knew. Oh, yes. I do remember that. It was like, if your mother only knew. Like, I...
Clearly you made a lot of headway there and you had progress on being a good beatboxer. Anyway, I don't want to talk too long because me and Frankie are just going to fucking go on tangents or whatever. Yeah, we do. But we do have an announcement today, as you can see from the thumbnail and the fucking, what's it called? The title of this episode. We do have news about, and we've been holding- I don't know how to deliver this news without sounding like it's good. It's good news. It's good news.
It's different news than, I mean, we don't really ever announce news. We don't have any news. So the news is, it's just the news. You watch news? Yeah. And Joe's a big Fox News guy. I just realized you call news news because it's new.
Didn't even think I'd tell now where on my life news. I never would have you know what I mean like it's new information No, there's got to be there's got to be something else. No, there's got to be another reason for it Why is it called the news because it's like then it's the news story who knew maybe that why because no one know a new That's what I'm saying. I'm gonna call it the nose. No one knows yet It's new but it's new but then once you know you knew no yes, I
That's not how that works. So it might be physically- Frankie, if something is new and then you know it, it's no longer new. But then you knew it.
You don't then knew it. No, because you knew it in the past. Now I know it. But also, I had no... You never knew it. I knew it, Joey. You're not listening. No, you knew it in the future. In the future, you will knew it. No. No. No. If you tell me something that's brand new right now, I know it. No, you don't. Yes, I do. Oh, then you then know it. Now I know it. Yeah, now you know it. And guess what? Now I knew it. I knew that. Look, watch. You can't say that yet. It's a beat. It's a beat. Watch. Tell me something new. I know it.
I knew it. You got it? I don't know why it's called... There's definitely a logical reason why it's called the news. You still haven't said what it is. I know, I know, I know. I don't know because I feel like... Who says it? I don't know. We'll say it. So yeah, anyway, we do have news. That's not old, but it's new. Which you don't know and now you will know. Now you will news it. And know, know and knew at the same time. It's new that you know and then you'll knew it. Exactly. But for the first time ever, we're taking the podcast on the road. Ah!
We have live shows coming up and we need you guys to buy tickets to them right now. Yeah, baby. We broke out the ace. Is it backwards? We bought bottles of Ace of Spades. We broke out the ace. These are gold bottles. So listen, tickets are available right now for pre-sale for the first three shows. Use the code, by the way, if I don't read this like this, Greg is going to have our heads. He's going to fucking kill you.
He's been texting me all morning. Did you guys record? Two different methods of fucking delivery this information. He shared his notes app. He didn't know you could do that. I knew it recently. I knew it. Shut up. Okay, so tickets are now available for pre-sale for the first three shows. We're going to Boston. We're going to New Haven. And we're going to Jersey. We're just doing these three shows right now. My fucking backyard in New Haven. Right.
We're doing these three shows for now, but there's going to be many more shows this year. The Basement Yard Experience. Go to TheBasementYard.com to get tickets and use the code BASEMENT to secure tickets before they go on sale to the general public on Wednesday, December 6th.
I don't remember what date it is. But we have January 19th at the Wilmot in Montclair, New Jersey, 8 p.m. January 26th. Get it. College Street Music Hall in New Haven, Connecticut at 8 p.m. My fucking stomping grounds, baby. And then February 1st at the...
Chevalier Theater in Medford, Massachusetts, which is right outside of Boston. But yeah, you got to, guys, you got to go. The pre-sale, the code is basement. Go to thebasementyard.com to get tickets. It's going to be a lot of fun. And we're going to get fucked up. Uh-oh. Oh, shit. Holy shit, dude. Did you shake that? No.
I went, "Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh!" We got electronics in here. Electronicy! Here we go. That's not a word. You're not supposed to do that. I did it! It's good. It's good. Fuck me. Listen, before we get into the jokes and the meat of this show, before Joey shows you the meat, this is not- Why did you sign up? Oh shit, dude!
Yo, that is coming up very fucking quickly. Yeah, it's all right. It's okay. It's expensive champagne. But I'm going out tonight. So this is a pregame. Oh, bitch. I'm not. I'm probably not. This is all possible because of you guys. None of this would have been possible. And we heard that you guys wanted it. We wanted to make sure it was something we were physically and...
Entertainmently, if that's a word. Hey, it isn't. So there's that. Able to do. Oh, look, is this a rag? No, it's the new merch. The new merch, all right? Which I don't even know if that's out yet, but God bless. Guys, you got to come to the live shows. Like I said, Jersey, New York.
Massachusetts and fucking Connecticut. We're doing these three shows, but like I said, there's going to be a lot more shows that we do throughout the year. And realistically, if you come to these shows, it gives us the opportunity to say...
We can do more places. Right. And do other stuff. So if those, I know that not everyone lives in the Northeast metropolitan area, but hey man, don't say that. You're not a weatherman. Okay. Don't say that. The Northeast metropolitan. But if these shows do well, there's more coming to you. Yeah. There's more coming. So if you want Joe to come for you and on you and to you. No. Stop. Okay. Jesus. One sip. I know. What?
And nice. Why did I say that like Ruby? And nice. Yeah, you're talking like a baby now. Dude, it is crazy. Yeah. I am excited. Yep. Nervous. Yeah. Do you think that thing is going to happen where people, where they say before they go on stage, they just have to just suddenly shit? You just put that in my head and I didn't need that. No, you got it. Yeah. The fucking big IBS over here is going to get you. Okay. Again, making that up. I just did a line of champagne off the table. Snort it, dude.
Yeah, I think that's gonna happen. Yeah, I'm really excited about this. I haven't, I did a show, what happened? What happened? What are you doing? Pass that. Hey, I did a live show that Frankie was on actually in 2016 at Caroline's, which was like a cool experience, but I felt like at the moment I was like, I need more time to figure out like blah, blah, blah. And at that point I was doing the podcast by myself.
But now it feels like... How'd that go, bitch? But now it feels like the perfect time. And also, I want to just point this out. This is like the craziest shit. Me and Frankie were just talking about this yesterday. But like Spotify Wrapped just came out recently.
Our listeners are up 314% for this year. Our streams are up 378%. 200,000%... 200% followers. We were on the top charts 43 weeks out of the year last year. And we peaked at number four. Insane. Insane growth. It's because of you guys. And because of mainly me. But also...
No, we joke around. It's because of Frank and all of his shirts. It is my shirts, my minor league baseball hats. It's the fact that he looks like just a guy in the Bronx right now, right? Don't. You do. Did you see they edited that article where they talked about us and they said that I look like Jason Momoa? I saw you edit it. I didn't edit anything. Prove it was me. Yeah. And that was another thing, too.
Business Insider put out an article that was like, these are the top 15 rising stars of the podcast, whatever, like, I don't know, some shit with Spotify. And we were number eight. And there was like big names on this list. And like, it's crazy. Like we're, we've never been on TV. We've, we're not getting. That's not true. Remember our Pop-Tarts clip on Good Morning America. Okay.
But like we've never like, you know, have this mainstream success and it's like, it's insane that, you know, we are able to make that list, have the growth that we have and now we're going to be doing these live shows and we're really excited. These are the first three and we're going to try and make it like an experience. We're not going to go up there and just do this and talk to each other. We want there to be crowd work and like talking to you guys and get everyone involved and there's going to be more information on that as well. But,
Crowd is going to be involved in the show every show is going to be different So we're gonna be super excited an experience that will be Tailored to the people that are there and the place that we are like it'll be one of a kind like there's no way that it'll be a replication of any of duplication what is a replication But yeah again
Thebasemanyard.com to get your tickets. Presale will guarantee you have the best chance to get the tickets before they sell out. We hope they sell out. The code is basement, okay? So you need to use that code for the presale. And then everything goes on Wednesday. So what is that, the 13th?
Yeah, on the 13th, they will be available for the general public. Listen... So get them before that. We're going to get into your meat again in the rest of this episode, but... No one is talking about anyone's specific meat. Let's also address the gorilla in the room. We... It's an elephant. Whatever. We dreamed of this when we were fucking kids. We did. Jokes aside, I'll be serious, Frank, for a sec. We...
dreamed of this as children, and it's now coming true. And jokes aside, I owe a big part of that, if not mostly all of it, to you. So cheers to you. I couldn't be happier to be on this ride with you, and I'm excited for it. I'm glad you're riding me as well. Well, see, now you did it. Now you were the problem there. Yeah, we're having fun. Hey, it's you. You're the problem. It's you. I know that's not it.
Who sings that song? It's Taylor Swift. Oh wow, okay. I know, I know. I'm keyed in. Is that it? Glued in? Tapped? Tapped. Glued in? I'm all over, babe! I'm strapped in. This is Asia's space! This is Asia's space! I told you I'd do it at least once. Okay, well I've heard it seven times before we started recording and you've only been here for 20 minutes, so. Backyards, baby. Yeah. Backyard from the basement yard to your backyard. What's up? That's pretty good. That's kind of fire, dude.
The basement yard to your backyard. Oh, dude, Greg the big the basement Greg Somebody coming out and coming out the basement is that it's cutting kind of like we're gay though. Yeah You can't say the closet no like for amateurs coming out the basement dude Why was it closeted? Closeted gay is cool. I had a closet in my basement basement gay is wild Because there's more room in there for gay
Moving on before this gets out of hand. But again, January 19th, the Wellmont Theater in Montclair, New Jersey. January 26th, College Street Music Hall in New Haven, Connecticut at 8 p.m. New Haven, daddy's coming back home.
And February 1st at the Chevalier. Let's go chop it up. Which, by the way, I would have pronounced that Chevalier. Chevalier. Chevrolet? Chandelier? Yeah. Greg? I don't know. Greg was very business. Greg came out today. Speaking of coming out, he came out today and he was like super like, you need to say it like this. Yeah. He texted me multiple times. And we were like, all right, bro, chill. And he was like, no, you have to. Right. And if
If we didn't say... He bullied us. He even put the pronunciation of the theater in Medford. He did. He put it like he's the dictionary. Like he's the dictionary. The high A, the bar over the E and shit like that. The backwards letters. The first thing I texted him was like, thank God you wrote that because I was not going to say it like that. No, there's no shot. I'm not French, dude. Chevalier? Who is it? God, French. Don't get me started. As we drink champagne...
Is that? Oh yeah it is. Welcome to being like alive and of a fucking single brain cell. Champagne is just where it's a region it's from right? Yeah it can't be considered champagne unless it's from the region and from- Cause then it's sparkling wine. Yeah that's right. That's why. There you know. Nope. What? I haven't eaten today. Yeah well. When I get to the bottom of this thing. Yeah that's your lunch. That's your lunch. I asked you if you wanted food and you said no I ate this morning. What kind of shit? I did eat but it wasn't breakfast.
That sounds way more like- Was it pussy? What was that, dude? I didn't eat. It wasn't breakfast. Oh, you just munch it on fucking box all morning?
Munchin' on box. Yeah. I just ran out of breath. No, it was like a dessert. Oh. From the day before and it was on the fucking... It was out and you had to eat it. And I was like, fuck. Because I didn't want to see it. I saw it. And I was like, well, now... Do you want to know exactly what my breakfast was this morning? This is not an exaggeration. Can I be honest with you? You don't care. At all. Okay. But I'm going to hear it. All right. Because we have to fill time. It's a podcast. Half a banana.
Why not eat the whole banana? I was holding Maeve and she really wanted it. So she took the other half. Women. Fucking am I right? A bowl of honeycomb cereal. Big fan of that. And then like six slices of prosciutto. I thought that was going to be pizza. I was going to say, Frank, you have an issue. I saved the pizza until I got here. Six slices of prosciutto. Yeah. They were left over from Thanksgiving. So I was like, fuck yeah, dude. Wait, is that allowed? Yeah, it's prosciutto.
Yeah, I don't know what that means. They're good for like two weeks. Is that true? I hope so. I hope so too. I sure hope so. Because we got to make it to these live shows. Hey! Thebasemanyard.com. Use the pre-sale code basement and get your fucking ticket. From the basement yard to your backyard. I'm really impressed that I did that on a whim here. Yeah, you did it on a whim. Greg, put that on the fucking marquees. The playbills. What are they called? I don't know. Should we do like a playbill where it's like our bio?
Should we? Like, hand them out? Yeah, we hand them out. And it's just, like, pictures of us. Yeah. Like, I don't know. There we go. That's what a lot of people were wondering. That's what those, wait, can I say this? Say what? What the photo shoot was for. Yeah, everything's going to be out. Oh, yes, that's what the photo shoot was for. Yeah. Which we just, more champagne. Also had champagne there. Damn, are we just, like, champagne basement boys? We are alcoholics. I think that's what the word you're looking for. That is the word. That's the word you're looking for. I can see myself in your bottle.
I think it's cool. Yeah, it is, isn't it? But yeah, I haven't done a live show since 2016. Frankie, you've never done a live show before. I did it with you at 2016. Well, yeah. But like...
Technically, we both did them at the exact same time. Correct. But yeah, we want you guys to come out. Like I said, it's thebasemeyard.com. Use that pre-sale cold basement. I mean, we're going to put out a bunch of shit anyway, but we're really excited. Yes. But yeah, it's going to be just like a big hangout. That's kind of how we sort of view it. We're not using it as like an episode of the podcast or anything. We're calling it the Basement Yard Experience because we want it to be
Me and Frank up there on stage interacting with the crowd and making you guys feel like a part of it. And that's just doing a thing. We don't even know how the fuck the shows are going to go to be honest with you. Full transparency. Still haven't. It's no idea. This is not an exaggeration. Yeah. That I said it before. It is going to be tailored for the people there wherever we are. Like, be aware. You come into that New Haven show. I'm tearing Frank Pepe's pizza to fucking smithereens. What?
Fuck that pizza. And they'll hear more about it, I guess. But I, and also like, we want it to feel like an actual episode. So like, even for this, this is how, just so you guys know, these are the notes that I have for this episode, right? Okay.
You guys, spoiler alert's here. Yeah, just to give you guys a peek behind the curtain. So this is how little we prepare for any of this. So we want to be like, we're not going to prepare for the live shows. You want it to be authentic. You want it to be basement boys. We just want to go out there and have a good time. And I'm probably going to have a couple something. Oh, yeah. A couple margs before the show. I don't fucking know. Margs? I don't know. Can we put that in our room? Do we get riders? Yeah. We get riders, dude? I might be like, yo, put a crocodile in the fucking green room or something. Don't do that. Don't. That would be. In a cage. In a cage.
Still a problem. Yeah, but cool. No. How about, Joe, you need a box of Mike and Ikes sorted by color. Okay. I'm going to be, I'm going to be, listen, if we get writers, I'm going to become a, I'm going to become a bitch. All right. First show, Frank's a diva. Damn right. I'm showing up late. Let's go on. Let's go on late. And like the show, everyone's like, we don't know what's going to happen.
I think Greg was like, should we get, or was it you who was like, oh, should we just get like a limo and pull up in a limo? Greg said that. Okay, you pay for it. Yeah, Greg said that. All of a sudden it's cool. Greg said that. Yeah, we should get a limo. Why don't we just land a chopper on top of the theater? He said limo to his defense. He said limo. I said rent a Bentley. Both no. What would be more expensive? Probably the limo. I don't know, but I'm taking an Uber. Oh, we get a limo with a hot tub in the back and go on stage soaking wet.
Soaking wet. Soaking wet. Hello. Hello. Yeah. But yeah, we're fucking excited. We're really excited. But yeah, like I was saying, we wanted to feel authentic to the show. So how we plan our episodes now, Frankie sits down where he's sitting. I sit here. And then we go, what are we going to talk about? This week, it just says shows. Then it says car accident. We'll get into that. Joey's, yeah. Then it says finger and butt fight. We'll get to that. And then it says it's a small world.
That's it. That's it. That's literally it. This is not an exaggeration, folks. That's how we do it. You are getting like the spit in mouth treatment. Like Joey's going to go there, spit in your mouth. We're going to, we're going to go back to what you just said. What does that mean? Like a, like a raw gritty, like fucking like you're horny, right? I'm not, but this, you're talking about spitting in mouths and raw and horny. This hits. It's an aphrodisiac. DG.
Deezy? Deezy. Aphrodisiac. Deezy. Deezy. Why did I say that? I don't know. Imagine if you had this and oysters and chocolate-covered strawberries. This isn't an aphrodisiac. Oh, all right. Well, it's alcohol. Everything gets the blood flowing. I've never eaten oysters and been like, yo, fucking, I'm about to go fuck a pussy. Bro, who made that up? I don't know. You know it was some old-timey fucking 1700s pilgrim who finally had an oyster, got his dick hard for the first time in two years, and he was just like...
This saltwater booger snot. Yeah. This is the stuff right here. Usually when I eat oysters, I'm like, I'm going to go home and take a slippery dump. Ill. Ill? What is fucking wrong with you? I knew you would like that one. No, I hate that one. I loved it. No. I can see the love in your eyes. I haven't had oysters in a while because there was someone last year in Connecticut, like three people that got brain-eating amoeba disorders from it. You know what I mean?
Did you get it? I don't know. Did you get it? You want to hear something funny about that? I think... Nothing funny about it. No, no, no. Comedy stuff. Oh, gotcha. Go. You know, what's the shit where you pour like a tea kettle in your nose? Neti pot. That's the one. I did that, but I just did it with water in my sink. And then... Here we go. I knew exactly where this was going. Bro, I posted it on Instagram, right? And I was on my way to the gym. And I just...
Looked at my DMs and I saw a girl had DM me and said hey Hope that's distilled water because if it's regular water you could get a brain-eating amoeba people have died from that. Yeah, I Pull over stop my car and convince myself that I am now dying. Oh wait You were checking your DMS driving. I was at a red light. Yeah. Yeah, okay, but I was like
So then I There he is There's You know This was so long ago But I was like Yo I'm gonna die Hypochondriac Joe over here Crazy And then like My brother-in-law He's the only person That like made me feel better Because I wrote in my My family group chat I was like
Farewell, family. Like, I'm done. Like, I swear to God. You're on your way out. I literally thought I was going to... I mean, I do that all the time. There's tons of times where I think I'm dead. Yeah. But, like, I did this, and then Shannon was like, Vin says he's done that with regular water for, like, years. Yeah, I used to do it. I was like, that makes me feel dead. I used to do it with, like, you know, hose water, and I'm okay. You went outside to fill up your neti pot? No, I've never used a neti pot. I've never used a... Shut the fuck up. Neti pots work, by the way. I'm sure they do. I've never used one. I have...
drank from the hose as a kid multiple times, dude. Yeah, but that's not putting it in your nostrils. You're right. It's just putting it in your mouth and in your body. I think that's better than putting it in your ears. What's the difference? The difference is people drink tap water. Hose water is not tap water. It's different. It tastes delicious, though. I'll tell you that. Wait, is it not tap water? I don't think it's the same. I think that the filtration for the hose water is not the same as the filtration for the sick water. Why did you just turn into fucking Lilo and Stitch?
What the fuck was that? No. No, I think, like, most, like, the plumbing for, like, a house includes a form of a filtration system, and it's not the same for, like, the pipes that are routed for the hose. Okay, we do have sponsors before Frankie talks about any more filtration systems.
over that already. We do have BetterHelp here. BetterHelp, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online counseling and therapy. If you want to jump into therapy, which I think that you should, you can do so with BetterHelp. You can start talking to a therapist in just under 48 hours. So it's a quick setup.
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But yeah, go do some therapy, okay? I'm telling you, you're going to be a better person for it. Betterhelp.com slash basement yard to get 10% off your first month. And by the way, this is more affordable than in-person therapy. In-person therapy is kind of nuts when you think about it, the cost of that. So this is a fraction of the price, and we're going to save you 10% off that first month. Betterhelp.com slash basement yard. So get to it, folks. And next, we have Rocket Money. Rocket Money...
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And you want some more business? I'm going to give you the business right here. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard, folks. That's where business goes down. All right. Well, guess what?
We thank you all for getting us over 27,000 paid subscribers on Patreon. And we want to keep moving in that right direction, baby. We want to go all the way to the top. Although Joe is a bottom, I like being on the top. So patreon.com slash thebaseofnear. I do sign up for that first year. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance. Very cute. Very fun. Here you go. Another one. Next year, that's where you get exclusive episodes.
Exclusive episodes. What? Yeah. Exclusive episodes every single Friday morning. That means Monday, 7 a.m., new episode of The Basement Yard. Friday, 7 a.m., new episode of The Basement Yard. You start and end your week with us, baby. It's a party all week long when you're here with The Basement Yard. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. Thank you, folks. Let's keep going until we hit 28, 29, 30, maybe even 500. Who knows? See you later. Joe, back to you.
So you said that you were going to tell the story on the show. I was going to tell the story. You were involved in a car accident. Again, what's with you? Well, before we get to the car accident, I want to say something. I want to say something. And like it's kind of piggyback. Hey, slow down on the champagne. Piggy, piggy, piggy. Little piggies. Yeah. Piggybacking off of what you said. But...
An issue of mine. Oh, here we go. No, an issue of mine. I feel like for so long is like, I can't. And I literally was having this conversation with Greg yesterday. I can't be excited for shit or like, I can't either. It's fucked up. And I hate it about myself, but when it happens, I'm like a child. No, but I can't like, I, I like, so I downplay everything. Like everything that happens, there's been so many like cool moments and everything. And I can't,
For some reason, I'm always just thinking about... I can... We can do more. We can do better or whatever the hell. And it's like the worst fucking... I hate it about myself. And I was... And now... I had that conversation with Greg yesterday. And I was like, it's so corny that I'm like that. And then I like kind of took the time to think about... You know, what we're doing now. And I'm like, no, this is fucking crazy. And I'm like, I'm very content and happy. And like...
This isn't selling out Madison Square Garden, but who gives a fuck? This has to be our Madison Square Garden, like our first shows. You have to take that first step. And it's crazy because this is not an exaggeration. I've known Frank since fucking pre-K, and we...
We're making all these fucking videos on these stupid fucking videos, by the way. Yeah. Since we were like nine years old with a camera that sucked and all this shit. And it's also like we both went this way at some point in our lives because he was doing other things. And then I was kind of pursuing this. And then eventually it came back to this. And now like we're about to...
Go to a bunch of different cities in the country and do this shit live for people and people like care and they like want to go That's fucking nuts. And like I said, these are only the first three shows And if all goes well, like we're gonna do a bunch of show like we want to do this Like we want to go to other cities other countries or whatever the fuck I don't even like i'll go anywhere. I don't care. So, uh, we're super excited and yeah, I just I hope you know
I hope everyone kind of comes out. We just want to have a good time. That's pretty much it. But it's going to be a fucking cowboy rager. It's crazy, dude. It's really nuts. Like I, like I can take myself out of this moment and be like, I'm fucking staring at this kid. And now we're really about to go do this thing. That's fucking wild. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you know me, I get sappy. I'll get, I'll get sappy right before I'm like you. I tend to wait until it's like in the bag.
To, like, be excited. Like, I'm excited and nervous, but, like, I'm not going to be... It's going to hit me when I get there when we are about to walk on stage. That's when I'm going to have to, like, pee my pants or something. But... Frank, I swear to God, if you show up... Pee-pee pants? And piss your pants on stage... $50,000 cash. Probably, yeah. Yeah? No, no, no. Oh, all right. But, like, five. Oh, okay. Five-ty? Five-ty! Yeah, but...
Basemirror.com go get your tickets. Oh use the pre-sale code basement But if you're gonna wait and you're seeing this after fucking December 11th, and also if you're gonna come bring that motherfucking noise Yeah, bring yo fucking Blackout well well well no no I wanted to be rowdy. I also want to throw some people out. That'd be fun cool Okay, nobody rush the stage. I gotta how right do you think we get heckled dude?
Pray for anyone that decides to heckle us. I mean don't bait people. I'm not waiting I'm not you're the gay baiter here. I'm not baiting anything. I'm saying don't bait someone into yelling on stage No, I'm just they will get murdered. Well, yeah, I'm not I'm not making this a competent. I'm bringing a gun. Oh Can you imagine they pull a gun out and shoot someone on stage I'm like I shoot him on six dab. They love me forever. I
Trump said that. You don't remember that? Okay, well, we're getting further away from... Usually you have his quotes tattooed on you. Yeah, I do, don't I? Yeah. But yeah, super excited. I'm fucking hype. But back into your meat. Can you stop saying that? Also, I don't know how much of this I drank, and it's hard to monitor, and I'm getting scared. Because it's a heavy bottle. But what if I drank it all? You can have some of mine. Is it...
That's sharing. I didn't drink at all. I don't know why I looked in here. Yeah, what are you looking in there for? I don't know if they had some more like presents. Is there stuff like... Shout out to Ace of Spades. Way too much money, by the way. Well, also, what are they going to give us? Could you imagine they hit us up like, yo, we want to sponsor your shows? I'll fucking do anything. Also, the only reason why... Well, hello. Anything. Not anything, relax. You have to make everything about sex. I'm not saying sex with me, dude.
Something. Just sex. Okay. Not with me. Go sex someone else. I don't know what's going on. But anyway, oh, we have car accident. Okay, that's the next thing on my list. Yeah, that's the next thing on our list. Exit out. Delete it. Shut the fuck up. I thought you were going to put that whole bottle in your mouth for a second. I was going to say chill out. No, no, no. That's on patreon.com slash basementyard. Got it. But yeah, this morning on the way over here, I had to take a...
An Uber. Because I fucking... Your car's in the shop, right? My car's in the shop. Yeah. From the last car accident. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got into an accident. It wasn't my fault. There was a nice Jewish man who ran into the back of my car. Ran right into his back. He meant...
And he immediately was apologetic and he was like stupid mistake and I was like, it's all good He gave me all this information didn't give me his insurance, but I don't you don't need it You don't need it. You call your insurance to give him his name and information and they pull it up No, I know I'm saying I'm just like I you know That was like the one thing you should ask for in that situation But I was like you were freaking out. I know I wasn't freaking out I just rolled down my window and I was like, I'll be honest with you, dude I don't know what to do here. I'm scared. Oh, he could have tell you like first you give me a hundred bucks cash and
I'm not a fucking moron. Well, apparently you are if you didn't ask for his insurance. But anyway, I was in the Uber on the way over here and it was a woman and we were talking and just having a friendly conversation and then she crushed someone's mirror. Like, what's a crush? I was looking down at my phone at the time so I didn't see it but it's, it like, it was like, bang! Oh! Like, hit someone's fucking mirror because she was driving on it like a side street and hit someone's mirror. Like, hit their mirror like, side, so I, so I,
What side swipe? Yeah. Yes. She side swiped the mirror and She was in the middle of talking and then she went oh shit and then she came Oh Fuck that has to exist there has to be someone in the world who they see a car accident or like I gotta go home horny for car accidents We'll google this real quick continue telling your story. What do you think? There's like an actual name for this like a definition horny for car accidents
I wonder how many people have actually Googled that. I'm going to say under 10,000. Yeah, dude. There's a name for it? Yeah. The title of this is for some reason, I don't mean to be forward, please park on my face. I don't know what that means. I think park, like put your butt on my face. Oh, sure. The particular paraphilia might fall under the broad heading of symphorophilia. Oh, because I think, was it paraphilia?
I think paraphilia is just like the... It's cars. I know people are horny for cars. Paraphilia is the experience of recurring or intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals. Okay. So, symphorophilia, defined by the sexologist John Money. Damn. That's his name? This guy's name is fucking talking about sex and his name is Money? John Money? I bet he's got a nine-inch wang. Dude, how many times do you think in his life he's been like, here comes the money shot?
I love how that's where your mind went. Like if your last name was money, that's what your signature. Dude, if you were 14 and coming, you wouldn't say that. Trust me. I was coming at 14. Yeah. But not with a woman by myself, but regardless of who it was with. Right. Man, woman, whatever. You're going to tell me. What? Why even? Why even what? Straight man. Yeah. Well, whatever. It wouldn't be a man around. You're going to tell me if your last name was money, you wouldn't say here comes the money shot.
No. Yes, you would, dude. No, I wouldn't. Yes, you would. I don't say anything when I ejaculate. Nothing at all? I mean, noises come out, but I don't say things. Give me a shh. I'm not going to do that! Come on. Jerk off right now and let's hear it.
No. All right. Okay. Well, tried for you guys. Oh, yeah. I'm sure it was for them. Yeah. Arousal from stage managing or arranging a disaster, crash, or explosion, or arousal by accidents or catastrophes. You know how there's people... Symphorophilia. But do you know how there's people who are horny for cars? Do you think a car accident's like, oh, that's like an orgy? Oh. Like you're watching an orgy? No, because it's like a murder or a suicide. All right, man. I don't... We don't have to...
Oh, yeah, it's an accident. It's an accident. So like someone's dying. Like if you're horny for women and you see a woman just like crash into another woman, you're not getting horny, dude.
You're getting the ick, if anything. Well, scissoring is kind of like crashing. Yeah, but it's like organized crashing. It's like artful crashing. It's like dancing, but with your lady parts. Yeah, but you're crashing them together. Yeah, but it's like a fun crash. Yeah. But maybe it's fun for the cars. They get new butts. Yeah. They get a BBL and a fucking facelift and shit. If you're an old car and you get a fender bender, you go and you get a new butt.
Do you get a new butt or do they just fucking put you out of your misery and give you a check to get a new car? No, no, no. They give you a new butt. Joey, if you're totaling a car, they're fucking putting a gun to the back of it. Who's talking about totaling? I'm talking about fender bending. You're saying car accidents. I'm saying fender bending. We said car accidents to begin with. Okay, but I'm not talking about totaling. All right, let's do a trick. Let's do a trick. Yeah, sure. Let's see two cars head-on collision.
And let's ask a person that's warning... Why are they head on? Alright, let's get someone... Get an OPL. Other people's lives. Front the butt. Other people's lives. I'm not saying what the type of a crash. Any crash. Okay. Other people's lives. Talk to someone that loves fucking cars. Or like sexing... Like whatever. Fingering their tailpipes or whatever. Ask them if they would get turned on by a car crash. Or if they'd be sad. Or if they'd be sad. Now, I want you to take two women...
Like, just, like, stake outside your building. And have them run into each other? And wait for two really attractive women to just run into each other as fast as they can. Be kind of cool. Would you be horny for it? Probably not. Exactly, dude. But if they were naked, maybe. But cars aren't naked by design. They're cars. They could be naked. What is their clothes? Their paint.
No. They're painting their body, dude. No, it's their skin tone. No, that's not their skin. Yes, it is. A car's paint is its skin. You might be right. You might be right. You might be right. I would say the... I don't... I guess you're right. I can't defend it here. The metal of the car is like bones. The frame. Those are bones. The inside is organs and bones. But the outside paint is the skin tone.
I guess you're right. Also, while we're talking about this, the people who have like throw up brown cars, why? I don't mind it. You like a throw up brown car? I have a bigger, more important question. Why are you throwing up brown? It depends what you eat. Have you had a lot of gravy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In what world are you throwing up because you had a lot of gravy? I'm saying if I had a lot of gravy. I mean, I've thrown up gravy.
It's like, bro, Thanksgiving and then you get fucked up and then you- Have you thrown up from Thanksgiving? Yeah. Probably or yeah? No, yeah, I have. When? I don't know. Like, I have in the past because, like, you eat so much and then I'm drinking, obviously. Oh, dang. That sounds like a big lie and I don't think that anything- It's not a big fat lie. It's a big lie. It is a big lie. It's a huge truth is what it is. Joey throwing up brown. That's very specific. Why would I lie about throwing up? Do you think I'm fucking-
I think that's the coolest thing in the world to throw up. I think that just in order to prove a point, you're saying that you did throw up brown. When I'm saying that there's only one person that's ever thrown up brown, Joey, and it was David in third grade in Miss Pogerman's class. It was a dark red. It was even worse. It was a dark red. If there's red, it's blood, dude. It did scare me because when he did throw up on the desk, I was like, dude, that looks like blood. But it wasn't blood. I think he had like- It looked like McDonald's barbecue sauce. What it looked like was like a fucking, like a soup. What are those soups called? Stop it. Like a rice-
not a rice. Stop. What's it called? What's the chef boy RD. And you know, I walked him to the nurse that day in third grade and Pogrebin. I remember, you know why I remember that so well, because I remember he didn't make like the typical, like, like throw up sound. What, what, what's the sound called? Like the, the throw up, um, like retch retch. Yes. He made just like a sharp burp. It was like, it was like, some people burp before they throw up. I just go like this.
Oh, no. I have an intense frown when I'm about to throw up. I go, oh, no. And then it comes out. It comes out better that way? Dude, I can't control the way that I... I don't know. I heard that one of my brother's friends screams before he throws up, and he says, because you don't even feel it. Dude, we knew... It's a psychotic thing. We knew someone that screamed when they threw up. Really? Do you remember there was someone that we used to hang out with that...
We had a party at my house. Everyone got drunk, as they did. We did. And he, whether it be because someone dared him or whatever, had a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal with rum. Who the fuck did that? Yeah. It's a very dumb person. And we were just talking about this person not long ago. Real dumb. Frank, you're not now writing it down. I know a lot of dumb idiots. Regardless, they were throwing up in my basement. Literally. No exaggeration. No exaggeration.
Weird. Yeah, it was weird. Throw up in silence like a man. Yeah, well, wait, didn't you get into a car accident? Yeah, the only thing I was going to say is that she hit the mirror and then she was in the middle of talking and she went, oh shit, and then we didn't talk for the rest of the ride. Yeah. Frank? Yes. Did you report this?
To whom? The authorities. The authorities. Yes. No, I'm not a... You are an accessory to a felony. You've never hit a side mirror and drove away? You almost... There were W's before that. You almost hit a... I was going to say window. But you've never hit a side mirror and then just drove away? No. Nailed a side mirror and drove away. Okay. Watch this. Felony. Arrest them. Wait, felony or just crime? Hit and run.
Felony. Felony. But hit and runs humans. I didn't hit a human. No, a car too, Joey. Really? Hit and run, felony. But what if no one was around? Literally doesn't matter. But I didn't run. I just went. Yeah, you didn't report it. But I didn't run. You're a bystander. But no one ran. You're as bad as the person that hit the car. I don't know. This is all hearsay, to be honest. Yeah, this didn't happen. This is all comedy. But also...
I didn't run. Running is like people were there and be like, yo, what the fuck? And you ran away. I didn't run. No one was around. I just kind of went about my business. Joey, that's not reporting. You witnessed a crime. You never hit a side mirror? No. Really? Yeah, no. I did. It was a skinny street and I was in a U-Haul. I was moving and I hit a car.
Still doesn't matter. You witnessed a crime. Yeah. You refused to report it. Technically, I didn't see it. I was looking down at my phone. I heard a crime. What is that? What is that? You can witness with more than one thing. But I didn't witness with my eyes. How could I possibly? All right, Joey. So close your eyes. If I fucking shoot someone in the corner and you hear the gun go off and them scream. How am I supposed to know they didn't shoot themselves and throw the gun at you? Because you see me with the gun beforehand.
I go, Joey, I have the gun. Watch this. Close your eyes. Bang. And I shoot Keith. Frank, if I don't... Jesus. Sorry? No, but like... Greg, is that better? I didn't see, bro. I didn't see. I haven't seen with my eyes. Yeah, you can see with your ears, though, Joey. Wrong. There's different senses. Observe is not just observing with your sight. It's observation using any of the senses. Frank, that's not going to hold up a coin that I heard of. Joey, it's what it is! You observed it! No.
You observe using your senses. An observation, Joey. If someone's cooking fucking... But how many senses? Because I didn't see. I only heard. I didn't taste or touch. That counts. I didn't taste or touch the crime. Doesn't matter. You don't need to taste the crime. It counts. So what do I do? What do I do now? Now you call the cops and you turn yourself in. I can't. It was a good ride. We got live shows in January. We can't.
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And they say that our hero could save us No? What is that? You don't remember that song? Of course I remember that song, Spider-Man Yeah, so come on, sing with me Where did that come from? You said be a hero You'd be a hero if you put that in someone's stocking Did I say that? Yeah I blacked out, I don't remember You saw that? Saw that? He no longer wants to sing with me That's not true That's it That's not true I love singing with you Yeah, sing a song right now, bitch
I can't think of any songs. Exactly. Wow. Yeah, so you're going to prison. I'm not going to prison, dude. You're going to prison, dude. It's all right. I'm not going to prison. It was an Uber. I got into a car accident once when I was...
Fuck I so back in the day. I thought this was like this is my big break and I went to a thing for MTV I was like an extra and some show that never aired but at the time I was a show Are you allowed to say I don't remember to be honest what even was about but I was just like a background extra like I was like That's where you met Matt Rife, right Matt Rife. Yeah, where you guys like best friends you wrote his material for him. I
Never met Matt Rife. That's funny. But I was... They asked me to be an extra on the show. I got paid $165 for the day. Hey, man, that's money. Bro, that was bread when I was that age. Yeah, because what were you paying for at that point? When did you get off your parents' family Verizon or cellular plan? I remember when I did, and it was a bad day. I don't remember.
I remember the health insurance. That sucked. Yes, it did. 26? That's what you paid a month? 26 bucks? What are you talking about? Oh, no. A month. Like, oh, I was paying $2,300 a month. You have a family. Still a lot of money. I know. I'm saying, though. Still a lot of money. Hey, was, bitch. I know. That's why I said was. But no, I was in the car. I was in a taxi because I think this was before Uber.
But I was like doing youtube for a little bit and I had like a little buzz and I was like, oh my god And then mtv asked me to be an extra in the show and I was like i'm a fucking star And then we I was on my way there and it was filming at some bar in like the lower east side Got two blocks from it. Boom got into a car accident Not a good omen for like my career because whatever happened I got out but like did you make it big because of that show guess
The show didn't even come out, dude. That's tough. Was there anyone else notable in the show? Not that I can remember at all. I don't remember anyone's face or anything. I remember I walked with this guy, one of the guys and some girl to the train, but I don't remember who they were, but they were also extras. So I don't know. But I was like, you know, it was like a bar and we were shooting this scene where like it was three dudes sitting around this girl who was like having a drink and we're all like trying to like get at her. Oh shit. So you had to like turn the Riz on.
Frankie, you are fucking 31 years old. I hate myself so much. You don't get to say that, cuz. Cuz. This fucking champagne is flowing, baby. This is why we drink every episode. We...
What's gonna happen? Our livers deteriorate. So what? Had fun, though. That's right. If it's not fun... I can't drink champagne at the shows. One, get way too drunk. Scared of being drunk on stage. Two, hiccups. Hiccups, I have to end the show earlier. You'll be alright. The adrenaline will come through. That doesn't help hiccups. And I can get the hiccups out of you. How? Scaring people doesn't do that. I know. There's a way. I just yawn. Oh!
There's a way that like Becca taught me that I've used and it's worked almost every single time. How do you do it? So you breathe in hold breathe in hold with you through your mouth And you keep going literally until you can't anymore you hold for six seconds and then you slowly breathe out and your fucking Hiccups are gone start drinking and I'll get you get hiccups and we'll try it You think I'm gonna go to my way to do this to prove that you're wrong. Yes, I do
No, I'm not going to do that. The hiccups thing is, I get bad hiccups. Yeah. What am I doing? Do you hear me? Meow. Meow. Oh, man. Yeah. This is crazy. I'm very happy. We have to save these bottles. Douche!
Doosh! In the Patreon episode, if you guys didn't watch the Patreon, you understand. There was a thing where we were trying to figure out who was the bigger douche. One of them was saving fucking liquor bottles. Douche. You douche douche. You're the bigger douche. But, but, we can sign it and it could be like announcing our first live show. And then we can auction it off. Auction it off. Auction. We could sell it at a premium.
When I went to Danny's show at Gramercy, which was hilarious. If you have the chance to go see Danny, go see Danny. Someone asked me to sign their shirt. Yeah. And I was like, what's this going to do? Dude. You know? When I went to Danny's show. Autographs are weird. When I went to Danny's show at Caroline's.
Someone came up to me and they were like, do you mind signing my sweatshirt? And I was like, I've never, I've never, like no one's ever asked me for my autograph. That's such like an 80s thing. Like in the 80s, people were going up to celebrities and they were like, sign this napkin as if it was going to be something. Wasn't then, ain't now. Right. You know, I learned that because I used to watch the show Get Gotti, the three-part documentary on Netflix. You watch it? Yeah. God was like a fucking rock star. Yeah. Murderer.
Oh, sometimes. Well, you got to murder, right? No, no, no, no, no. But yeah, people were like going up to him in the street and like asking for his autograph and shit, which like that's a wild concept. Would be cool. I guess it's like I get it. I guess he. What was that? No, I guess like I get it. Like I get getting people's autographs, but like, bro, I'm not going to be this like person that people talk about in history. You never know. We're just getting started. I know. But what if we play this sphere in Las Vegas?
Could you imagine? Play the sphere? Yeah, I just said that like I'm Bono. They did the sphere. I know, I know. That place is fucking nuts, dude. I want to do Radio City one day. Yeah, is that our, like... That's what I want to do. Radio City? Or MSG. I want to do the Beacon.
Beacon, MSG, or Radio City. Those are three biggies. First of all, MSG is such a wild jump from both of those. Like, it's insane. I think it's like Beacon, not Beacon, yeah, Beacon, and then Radio City is not double, but like close.
And then MSG's like triple. Oh, okay. Like Radio City. So like, chill. All right, we'll get there maybe. Hopefully. Radio City would be fucking dope. That would. Because it's Radio City. Yeah, where the Rockettes go. You care about them? The Rockettes? Yeah. I saw them at the Thanksgiving Day Parade. And I'm like, I get it. You guys are great dancers. You'd be pumped because you're all about ankles.
That is true. Joey's an ankle. And I like a leg, too. Joey's an ankle guy. I like ankles and I like legs. And the Rockettes, they have great legs. They have both of those, normally. Everyone's got some ankles. Well, not everyone. People who have been in shark attacks. I would say it's a requirement to have ankles to be a Rockette. It is. It is. Yeah. You have to be a certain height, too. Really? It used to be you have to be...
White that used to that used to be the one yeah, that was the big one That was the big one and then now they have like two black girls up there and like everyone's like Racism we got to black ones up here, but basically I said that's what it is. They have one they have two I should say and
But I think back in the day, it was like everyone had to be a certain height and a certain weight. Like it was like crazy. Oh yeah. It was probably very not cool. Like we could almost with a hundred percent certainty guarantee that. There was a girl who was like 110 pounds. Like, listen, you fat bitch. You need to lose some fucking weight. You need to cut down at least 10 or 20. Yeah. It's like 110 pounds. It's like, listen, fatty. I brought this up before. We had a teacher that was a former Rockette.
Whom? Yes. Who? Who's we? Me? You? Yes. Who? Our elementary school librarian, Miss Martinez. Get the f- That bitch wasn't a fucking rockette. I'm letting you know, bro. Miss Martinez? Why was she so mean? That's kind of probably- It was probably beat into her. She was probably a rockette in the, you know, 70s, dude.
You know how bad it was back then, probably? She had big glasses and wore a long skirt. And a bellowing scream, dude. She had a bellowing scream. She was not very happy, but we did learn the Dewey Decimal System from her. And we read the same, like, ten books that everyone in the 90s read. You know what I like? You know what book I love?
I don't really love it. I've never read it, but I like the cover. The one with the fish with the thing. The very colorful fish or the rainbow fish or something like that? Yeah, I think so. With the scales? Yeah, but it's got a holographic one. I was like, oh. That? Yeah.
Fucking the very hungry caterpillar we used to read all the time. That's my shit. It's got holes in every page. Yeah, Stella Luna What's that? You remember Stella Luna? Is that with the moon? No, it's with the- Goodnight Moon is what I'm thinking. Goodnight Moon. Stella Luna is the one with the bat. The bat? I don't like bats at all. Flying bats. You definitely know what this is. I don't like bats. I'm about to fucking reopen. Stella Luna. That sounded weird. You're gonna reopen me? When was I open first?
Yes, told you dude Wow you'll hold on give me your phone I told you dude is that bat Wow Stella Luna and then what about the very stinky cheese man? You don't remember that one. No the stinky cheese, man No, those are good books though. How hard can it possibly be to write a kid's book? You think we could do literally not at all literally 0% hard. We could write a kid's book and it's fine I've read books
I don't remember that. You don't remember the Stinky Cheese Man? I read all of the books that my nephews have and my niece have, and I'm like, I could do this. Ruby loves reading the same books over and over that I've memorized some of them. I've almost memorized Fox and Socks. I've 100%— Fox and Socks were the big fat cocks. Definitely not. Definitely not the word. Definitely, absolutely not. She has a 12 Days of Bluey's Christmas.
Memorize that. Bluey. Bluey. Who's that again? It's the little blue dog. Australian dog. Her sister Bingo. The Australian's just pumping out kid stuff, dude. Bluey.
The Wiggles, Teletubbies. What's Wiggles? You don't know the Wiggles? No. The Wiggles. They were just like five middle-aged men that were dressed up and they would like dance for kids. That sounds like the Teletubbies. Basically. But they were just not in big, giant costumes. Got it. And they were Australian. So they'd be like, Arr! Nar! Dude, do the Arr! Nar! That hasn't been done. That joke hasn't been done ever. Do that joke. Do the Arr! Nar! Is this a cover?
Would I be able to rip this off? Oh, no, it is the bottle. Why do you need to be such a little bitch? Why don't you just let it be? I don't want to find myself in times of trouble. Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom. Let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, oh let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Sign off. Let's go to karaoke now. Let's go right now. Yeah, just go there. Go to Koreatown and be like, yo, set us up in a room. There it is. There is the racism. It's not racism. That's where all the karaoke spots are. Where's Koreatown? Why is it that Koreatown, Koreans love fucking karaoke? Watch this. Karaoke is a Japanese word, Joey. Are you fucking kidding me? Hey, idiot. I just said Koreatown. I know, but like- And then you said Japanese, dumbass. I know, but like Asia, it's- And who even knows if it's-
But why do they love it? It's a Japanese word. I mean, I love it. A form of entertainment in which recordings of music but not the words of popular songs play so that people can sing the words. They invented that? Japan, dude. Japan invented that. Pokemon. Karaoke. Karaoke. Sushi? I think so. Probably. I'm pretty sure, yeah. Matcha tea?
Pearl Harbor, they made it. Well, Joey. I'm just saying. They didn't. No, no, no. I'm not blaming. I'm not mad. Well, if Eddie wants to blame. I'm not mad. You should be. No, I'm just saying. You should be. I'm just saying I wouldn't know what it was if they didn't. Technically, what they did was create a tourist spot. They put it on the map. They did put it on the map. By taking it off the map. Exactly. God, I don't know.
Do you think the people Hold on Do you think the people That do the boat tours In Pearl Harbor Are like thankful For the Japanese For having a job Cause I mean It's so fucked up Cause I mean The Arizona is down there The USS Arizona Or whatever the fuck It's called Yeah one of the ships The ships is down there And like people take boat tours And it's probably expensive It's poor harbor For God's sake I heard it's like Do you think they're like The museum is like On top of it And the floor is see through Do you think the people Over there are like Yo thank god for the Japanese Bull in this thing I don't think I don't think anyone's Thanking them for that I don't
I think those people would have found doofily. They would have been doodly employed elsewhere if it was not for the Japanese. You said doody. I just saw myself in the reflection and I was like. You're going to kiss yourself? No. What? That was a wet one though. That sucks. You can see my lip prints. You know lip prints are as unique as fingerprints and iris prints.
Iris prints? What is iris prints? You could take like a fingerprint of your iris. I think it's actually even statistically more unique than a fingerprint. Oh, is that why I go to the airport? I have clear, so I go and I scan my eyes. Probably, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same with lips, ears, cheeks. Lips are unique? I believe the lip prints are unique, yeah. So why don't I get arrested and kiss anything? Well, don't do that. Well, no. You get arrested and then you got to...
Because the fingerprints are just like an easier way to- I know but what if they put some stuff on my lips and I kiss the paper? I'm fucked up. I'm not gonna lie. That'd be good. I'm a little fucked up! That'd be good. Well.
I didn't bring my sleeping bag. But I did Uber here. Oh, my car's in the shop. Maybe they'll get hit on another car accident on the way home. Dude, I got a text. My sport's ready to go. You can pick up anytime today until... Your sports? My car. Oh. He had to throw in there that it's a sport model. It is a sport model. I'm going to buy the douchiest car, and I'm going to show up, and I'm going to make you make fun of me. What?
What is that going to do for you? I could feel how you feel for just a day. Do you think you're going to be a douche one day? Like a little pretentious? Not pretentious. No, I don't think so. Are you going to be a little like douche? I don't think so. I'm not a big... I was never a flashy car guy. The two like... Frankie, but I... Yeah. But now I have the ability to have nicer cars. But like... Oh, you heard it. Yeah, because I have to... That's step one. I pay for them with my welfare checks, Joey. Yeah, I bet. I... The only like...
Expensive cars that I have ever wanted were a Range Rover, which thanks for taking that for me, and a BMW, which also thanks for taking that for me. But both of those- You could definitely go- First of all- I'm not in my era of having nice things. I know, not yet. But I'm saying it's common, baby. I'm telling you right now, once Maeve hits 10 years old, I'm driving a fucking Porsche into my house through her window. A Porsche.
How long have we been at? Whatever. Way over an hour. Oh, all right. Thanks for hanging with us. Guys, again. It's a dream. Oh, no, no, no. Let me end this real quick and then I'll pass it to you. Guys, let me just... Jesus Christ. I'm kidding. I've said it like four times now, but getting to do this with you has been one of the greatest experiences of my life that I am eternally grateful for. It's our dream from when we were children. It's allowed me to...
Quit my job and apply, you know, supply. What is it? Good night. Provide for my family and do it while sitting next to my oldest, bestest friend. So our live shows in January 19th, January 26th, February 1st are because of you guys, are because of you. We're eternally grateful. Go check them out. Joey, where do they check them out? Thebasemanyard.com.
To get tickets use the pre-sale code basement in order to get them They're available to the general public on the 13th. I believe the Wednesday so two days after the pre-sale We got to leave a little cushion a little pillow for height Yeah, we we definitely want them to sell out in these for in the first day. We definitely want that but the tickets are available now for pre-sale and
Go get 'em. Gonna be a lot of fun. We're very excited. And, uh, you wanna cheers? Why did you grab it like that? I was- I don't know. Here. That was the stupidest- That was the worst, dude! Here, go. Worse. Here we go. That was a little too hard. BASEMANIA! Oh, I just hit my head! BASEMANIA! Oh, shit.
Go get those fucking basement yard tickets. Come to the basement yard experience. Basementyard.com for tickets. We're going to put up more dates for the rest of the year. Definitely going to be there. So if you're upset that we're not near you and you can't come to the show, don't worry. There's going to be more shows, but hopefully sell these motherfuckers out, dude. That's it. That's all we want you to do. Go get... Oh, shit. I spit everywhere. What the fuck? There's like tinfoil that I spit. You probably did, yeah. Anyway...
Basemeyard.com use the pre-sale cold basement go get your tickets. We'll see you guys there and see you next time