Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the Basement Yard. Frank, how's it going, Chief? Uh, sounds- shh. You hear that? Hmm? Roly Frank is here today. Roly Frank. No, Roly- Roly Frank is- he only comes out on very, very special occasions. What's the occasion? Well, the only occasion he's been out was the night after our first show in Montclair. Okay. And he has not shown his face since. Who knows when he'll come back? Is he- he's today? He's here? No! No, no, no. Oh. I don't think he's here today.
Rolly Frank is not just wearing the Rolex. It's a mentality. It's a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle. It's a mentality. Is that why you bought $100 worth of slime off of TikTok? Hold on. Because Frank just told me before we started recording that he bought $100 worth of slime not for children. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You didn't ask.
- You didn't ask all that. You didn't ask all of that. - Frank, literally he pulled out his phone. He goes, "Yo, look." And he showed me the video and he's going, and he's literally moaning. And he's going, "Oh." - Oh no, no. - He's like, "Don't you wanna play with that?" - No, no, no. - You said, "Don't you wanna play with that?" - I didn't moan. I didn't moan. Yes, I did ask if you would play with it. - You moaned? Not twice. - Joey, Joey, Joey. - Definitely more than that. - There was zero moans that left my mouth. Zero. Zero moans. - So what's this?
Whoa, that's what it was. It was a whoa. It was an act of it was no whoa It was it was just it was it there was no moment of adoration and just like absolute like bliss and looking at slime Fuck you, by the way. You're trying to fucking bring me down. I don't like this. Where's my girl gypsy rose get him. He's next what the Jesus just sicker on
Like a dog. Get him. Get him. I'm just saying like, you're like, what the fuck is wrong with that? First of all, it was, it is a family thing for all of us to do. Put your fucking fingers down. A hundred dollars worth of slime is an insane amount of slime. I was, all right, here's what was going on. I was scrolling TikTok as I'd be doing sometimes. Okay. And,
And all of these fucking TikTok accounts come up where it's like them using an ice cream scoop and scooping slime. Have you never seen them? No. Dude, I swear to God. You ever look at something and want to eat it? Food. Well, I'm not just food, but just like something that's not edible, like chalk or like- Women? Women.
Not in like a Silence of the Lambs type of way. You did speak about fava beans the other day. I did. And now you're speaking about eating women. You are getting very dangerously close to fucking Hannibal Lecter style. No one's going to eat a person's leg, all right? Let's relax. You specified leg as if you've thought about this before. I mean, where else would you... I mean, you go for the thigh. Or actually the butt, then the thigh. I'd say butt boobs die. If we're doing just women. The boobs, I think, would be too, like, chewy. Men is...
Thighs, bi's, tri's, honestly. I'd go for the showy muscles. No. I'd go for the showy muscles. The showy muscles. The men, you know, feel like they have to work out. So we are going to have a cannibal conversation? You want to keep going? Back to slime. Okay. Okay. No, I was scrolling and bro, and if you have not, all right, I know your phone's listening to you. It's listening to me. Slime for Joey. Slime for Joey. Now it's going to start putting some slime videos in your algorithm. Okay. So I saw them and I was like, God damn, like they look so good.
To eat. But just also to play with. Just to go like this with. Bro, they like do videos of them just like taking the slime out and then just fucking crush it in between their hands and like slime like pops through their fucking knuckles. For sure. And like, oh.
Because then they have like different types of slime. You know, they have clear slimes, water slimes, bingsu slimes, snow fizz. Like there's so many different. It's a world of slime. This is absolutely insane what you're doing right now. Snow fizz. What? What is that? It's just. What is snow fizz? It's like a. I don't know. It's a white dusty slime. No. Well, it could be. It's just the texture in which they refer to it. Maybe we need to get some slime on an episode so you can rate and play with slime. Yeah. You know what? You know what would be cool? What? What?
We'll put this out in the universe. And I don't know if this is like possible, but like Nickelodeon award thing. And we get to get a line. We just talked about eating boobs, butts, bison tries. I don't think Nickelodeon is putting us on the kids choice awards. No,
No, they slime a bunch of people. What awards would we get? No, no. We were just like hosts. We would say like, oh, hey, thanks for coming. And here's fucking the next thing. Joey. And then they slime us. They have people like fucking, you know, like I was going to say Drake and Josh. One of those people is not doing many things nowadays. Yeah, Drake's got some stuff going on. There's some stuff. Yeah. But like they have like fucking like Nate Burleson and like fucking Kel Mitchell hosting. Yeah.
We're not going to host the whole thing. You just said host. I mean, like, we walk out. We say, hey, how's it going, kids? The next winner. They'll never do that. They'll never do that. We are not the Nickelodeon. Now, if they were to do like a. We're not the Nickelodeon demographic. People's Choice Awards. I think that's a little more. They don't slide people. By the way. By the way. By the way. What's the one with the snow? Not the snowboard. The surfboard. Which, by the way, who greenlit that? Listen. Who let them be like, instead of giving out little awards.
Awards the VM a must serve on TV. It's MTV. It's either their movie or video music awards MTV I'm not bringing that surfboard. I don't want to win surfboard more a surfboard I will want to win the one that has like it's like the golden like popcorn bucket cuz that popcorn on top looks really cool Like touch yeah, like a little brain. Yeah, like a metal brain. Yes. Yes. Yes Yeah, I know you mean but like no one's gonna want us Joey. I will say this. I will say this. Yeah, I
Listen. Listen up. Don't say never. Never no. I know. I'm not saying never. There's people who've been on that stage who've been slammed who curse. Pop-Tarts. Taco Bell. This is crazy. And no hot dogs. And no like internet movie, like internet podcast awards have hit us up. Yeah, what the fuck? What the fuck is this shit? What the?
What the hell? Dude, whenever I see those things... It's like shorties or like internet dorties or... Streamies? Podcast Emmys or... Yeah, yeah, streamies. Bro. No one? I'll put on a suit and get up there and be like, hey, thanks, guy. But like, even if we don't win, I just want my name to be in a kind of thing. You know what it is? It's some dog shit that you have James Corden and Carpool Karaoke winning for fucking seven years in a row. And the Basement Boys, we don't even get a...
Not a sniff. No sniff? No sniff. Give us a sniff. Give us. We're not. Listen, we're not going to do anything. We don't want to win. We just want a sniff. And maybe go to an award show. Yeah. That would be kind of cool. I want to walk a red carpet and have people go, yeah, over here. Well, yeah. Apparently what they do is before you walk out, they hold up your name on a sign. Oh.
So the people know who you are. Let's be honest. There's not yet. Not a single one. Not one paparazzi is going to be like, oh, these guys. You know what's funny? A couple weeks ago, I went to dinner with some friends, and they were like, oh, yeah, we got invited to go to this thing for the Sopranos' 25th anniversary. What the fuck? Dinner with them. And they're like, what about you? And I was like, hey, man, I just got invited to the premiere of Good Burger 2. What?
And Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Yeah, what the fuck? Like, I'm not, no, no knock. I'm a big good burger guy. All right. I don't even know Percy Jackson. Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I like Greek mythology and I hear the show is pretty good. I'm going to watch it one day. But I wanted to walk. They said, oh, come walk the orange carpet.
Nickelodeon, brother. For Good Burger 2. Brother. Okay. But like, not a sniff? Yeah, we want a sniff. Not a sniff for us? You know what? 2024, we would like some sniffs in award shows. If you work for a company that does award shows or whatever, we just want to be sniffed. We don't want to win. We don't. Listen. I mean, winning would be cool, but that would probably be dangerous to get us up there because you know I'm going to be hopped up on Mars. Listen.
And you know, Frankie's going to be hopped up on a little bit of Mark's too. And we're going to get up there and win. Did you say Mark's? Are we sniffing markers? No, no, no. Mark's. Margaritas. Margaritas.
I was like, I didn't know that. Markers? I didn't know you were saying it hopped up on Marks. I was like, oh, shit. All right. Unless you want to. We're sniffing fucking Sharpies now? Unless you want to. I mean, I don't hate the smell of a marker. I've never gotten high off sniffing markers. That's kind of insane to me. I think that's just like a thing that happened in like the mid-2000s. I don't think they're made with that like drugs anymore. I'll tell you what. If a marker has some dangerous stuff in it and it's flavored peach, I would get high off of it. He's going up. It would be hard to get it out of my gold hard hands. It's going up.
Yeah. I don't know what that is. That's drug addiction, brother. Okay, got it. That's what that looks like, all right? Okay. I just... I'm not... We're simple boys. We want to be nominated. We like hot dogs. Very simple things. Hot dogs. Hot dogs. Music. Okay. We like music. We do. We like sports. Slime, apparently. Careful. That had a tinge of judgment to it. Financially invested in slime. I will get back to slime. Don't you worry, bitch. Correct. But like...
Maybe we just want to be recognized. Maybe we just want someone to pat us on the back and say you guys doing a good job now That's not why we do it. We pat ourselves on the back Joe He's been patting me and fucking on the back on the front all day, but just just Taco Bell and pop tarts are kind of in a war right now
They're trying to... It's a big bidding war, guys. It's a big bidding war. The company bidding war for the basement yard. Say that five times fast. What? Big brand basement yard bidding war. That's what it's become. Big brand basement yard bidding war. Easy. Get the fuck out of here.
But back to the slime. I was scrolling TikTok, saw the slimes. Becca saw them. Because we like to, at the end of the day, we cuddle up. We scroll TikTok. We show each other. It's like homework. We show each other like ones we've liked for each other that we think will make the other person laugh. One of my favorite things. It's so cute. And we saw the slime. We were like, oh shit, this would be sick to just like, just fucking put in your hands and play with. And we were like, oh, like Becca was like,
"Maybe we should like get some." She didn't, I, it was all me. - I know that it was you, Frankie. And then Becca was like, "We should probably spend $100 on this." And you were like, "Oh, I don't know, it feels like a lot, okay." - No, Becca, I was sitting there, I was like, "I wanna get some." And she's like, "Yeah, that'd be cool." And I was like, "I'll get some for like, so we can have like a family slime thing." 'Cause Ruby likes slime, Miles likes slime. - I'll be honest with you guys, like, I don't know if you guys are buying this, but I know how it went. They were scrolling and Frankie started going,
And then Becca's just looking at him like this, and he's like, we should buy some. And then she's just looking at him, and he's like, right? Yeah, for the whole family. So I'm going to do it. We should keep it in my room, though. All right. So I went. I bought some slime, and I was like, which one should I buy? And then I saw it was like a slime starter kit, and I was like,
I'm a seasoned slime vet. I am a seasoned veteran. I grew up in the late 90s, early 2000s. Slime, Gak, you know, all that shit was fucking readily available in Casa de Alvarez, okay? What's that other shit? Kinetic sand. That's kind of like what's the similar consistency to snowfizz. I fuck with that. Is that the shit that feels like it's like sticky styrofoam? Yeah, floam. That's floam. Where it's like styrofoam in slime.
No, no, no, it's not slimy. It's just like little circles that connect. Like sticky, stickily. They connect stickily? I don't know. You're not making sense. Is that not? I don't know what it is. Stickily is not a word. Well, you get what I'm saying though, right? Yeah, so that's enough of it being a word for me. But it looks like a bunch of little circles that are connected and it's sticky and you can make stuff. Whoa, look it up, brother.
If I hear another brother, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. Floam, F-L-O-A-M. I just want to make sure. Thank God you're here. Well, you said stickily quite a bit. So I want to make sure we're on the same planet. Is that it? Is that it? Yes. Yeah, I told you. Yes, this is it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some good old Floam. That's good stuff. I'm telling you. I like that stuff. So I got a couple. I'll say this though. I'm all about supporting small business because they're a small business. I don't want to give them a free plug unless... Actually, no. All right. But...
But they put the what the prices they're going crazy with you. Well, they know they got some fucking more on the other end It's like a cup like this big and it's like 15 bucks, but they come with like cute little like they're like DIY kits So it'll be like, you know, like this is like cactus fun and it'll be like little cactus charms and like a slime Are you gonna put in your hair?
No, or like on your arm hair. No, I do that. Why just as well from you do that? Not not slime will fucking stick. I know why I don't I Feel like it would be cool to watch like when I know I don't know when I have absolutely not when I have stuff like that I put it on my hair and then I watch it like either like take my hair or it's like it moves it. You know, I mean I
Yo, that's do it though. Do it and tell me that you don't. But is it you could see through it, right? Yeah. Some of them. Some of them. When I was a kid, I used to, you know, again, Ivan Ooze, you know, like ooze, ooze, slime, gack, floam. I love how you said again. And then you said Ivan Ooze like we've been talking about it. But like it was a big like we were the like we were the years of like ooze, slime, gack, floam, slime.
I remember I would always get like toys and slime and I would make it so like, Oh, and you slime them. Hell yeah. Yeah. But what I did, I actually got in a lot of trouble and my parents stopped buying me slime was, do you remember upstairs? Um,
And like, we had like the, like, it's not, it's like carpet like this, but it's like more like, like fake, not like real, it's like nylon. Yeah, yeah. Polyester, you know what I'm talking about, right? It's like cheap turf. Yeah, exactly. Yes, it's just, we had that carpet. Yeah. And...
I remember I like put my toys at the base of my dresser and I was, and I put slime at the top. Oh God, I'm so good. I fucking put it at the top and I just left it. And I was like, I'm going to wake up in the morning and they're going to be fucking slime. And boy, were they, you went to sleep.
And the reason I remember so- Wait, how is it moving, though? It goes so slow. It's so viscous. Oh. It's so viscous. So you're like, I don't have that kind of time. I gotta go to sleep. I don't know. So I put it like this, and it just falls out. It's gonna get them. Oh. You know? And then eventually- And I remember, the reason I remember is because I had two Godzilla toys that I loved so much. One was from the 1998 Roland Emmerich one, the one with Matthew Broderick. Unnecessary details, for sure. Harvey Fierstein.
And the other one was a, you're not, this is the deepest of cut that you'll never get. One person watching this will get it. His name was Gigan. He was a fucking Godzilla villain who had like hooks for hands and like a laser eyes and spikes on his back. Pretty sick. Okay. But I was like, oh, this line is going to get them. Yeah. Woke up the next morning. It got them. Yeah. Also got the carpet. Oh, it didn't come out.
It was there to the day that carpet got torn up. Wow. Yeah. Did it stain or was it just in the carpet? It was in the carpet and then it dries. And you can't, at the time, no one knew how to get it out. Now, we know. How do we get it out? Vinegar. Oh. It breaks it down. Ruby one day played with slime and got it all over like a pair of pajamas of hers, like bad. This kid's got slime in his house. And I just put it in a bowl, filled the bowl with vinegar, came out like this, lickety split. Yeah. Yeah.
So, Mr. Slime. Frank Slime Alvarez. I'm Slime Boy. I'm Slime Boy Alvarez. You're a slime ball. Don't!
Don't so you know I got it. There's the one the one popular slime brand on there They're called like peachy babies or something like that peachy baby. Yeah, Kim Kardashian bought slime from them So now we're like me and Kim K or like slime brothers. We're slime slime slime slime connected by slime connected by slime remember like they had like the Nickelodeon TRL was called slime time live and
I do not, I guess that sounds vaguely familiar. Yeah, it was, it was wild. There's also a documentary coming out about Nickelodeon people. Yeah. That one dude who was like, I'm trying to sniff all these kids' feets. Go watch it. Yeah. Well watch the trailer. Schneider. It was, it was Schneider, wasn't it? It's not Dan Snyder, I think, or Schneider. One of them. Which one was the owner of the commander's?
So maybe it's Schneider. Yeah. Dan Schneider. Not a good couple years for Dan Schneiders. The Schneiders and the Snyders are like, you know. They're really not having a good couple years. Yeah. But yes, there's something else that I saw that I don't know if you, do you remember a couple months ago we spoke about a Penn State professor who got caught fucking dogs in a park? Do you remember? Yeah.
I'll say this. Yeah, is that something you forget? Is it something you forget? No, it's not. With the amount of shit we talk about on the show. No, I know, but I'm not gonna forget a guy banging a... Yeah, he got fired because he was caught, like, in a park fucking a dog. As he should. You can't just... As he should? Fuck dogs? As he should get fired. Oh, okay. I thought that was the stance you were taking. No!
No, I'm saying, of course you should be fired. I thought you were going with the, as you should fuck dogs. No, no, no. He got fired. Did he go to J? He went to J or P? Jail or prison? I figured, I was picking up what you were putting down with J and P, Joey. I think there's like an ongoing investigation because- What is, Roof?
Well, it's not the burden of proof relies on the state or the prosecution in that part. Feels like an open-shut case for me, honestly. Well, you never, you never, never know. Don't make me a judge. First of all, guy, Greek man, not doing us Greeks any favors. Yeah. Okay? Because, but I have the story pulled up here. Wait, why are we talking about this guy? For fun, Joey. Why do you think?
There's more news about Mr. Oh. Yeah. First of all, so his name, Themis Matsukas. Matsukis. Matsukas? Oh, this sounds like a Greek and Japanese guy at the same time. Yo, if I were, first of all, the name looks very Greek, but he looks very Greek and Japanese at the exact same time. Well, Matsuka, it sounds like Matsui. That's the guy? That's the guy. That's a good looking guy. Why don't you just go fuck a woman?
Well, he apparently was more into... Or a man. Or whatever. How about this? A human. Anything. Anything. Anything that... That is above age of... What is that? Consent. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm glad you went there. Also, a living with a pulse. Right. We have to do all this because this guy's out here fucking dog. So you have to make sure that he knows the parameters. But also in parks. Like in state parks. Yeah, I'm not condoning having sex with a dog, but definitely don't do it at a park.
Yeah, double definite there. Double definite, don't do either of those things. Yeah, definitely don't do either of them, but also definitely don't. But our boy's back in the news. Your boy, really. I almost went to Penn State, fun fact. You didn't. Fun fact. I hope you all had fun. So an affidavit, which you obviously know what that is. I actually do. How do you spell it? A-F-F- We're just going to keep going. F-F-
AFFADIVAT. Wow. Wrong. I know what it... That is right. AFFIDAVIT. It's enough of a mistake where I can make you feel like...
I could belittle you. Thank you. But so they went through, because of the investigation, they went through his iPad and they found 55 videos on there. Oh, no, dude. Don't tell me this. He was in a kennel. Filmed at the time. That would be the, at least it would be indoors if it's in a kennel. Yeah, but it's a bunch of dogs. Oh, you mean like a building kennel? Yeah. Isn't that what that's called? A kennel is like the small crate. I thought a kennel could also be like.
The whole thing. Well, I think so. A collection of kennels. So a lot of the videos were filmed around his initial arrest back in June of last year. And they paint, as it says here, a harrowing picture depicting the academic donning a ski mask and no pants while getting into some risky business. Ski mask? Honestly, honestly, serious question. Yeah. Ski masks. Are they even used for skiing anymore?
I've never. Have you ever seen a ski mask on someone and just go like, they're going to go skiing? I'm afraid of ski masks. They've become like a part of pop culture that like they're no longer for skiing. They're like associated with like what the movies believe criminals look like or like a rolled up black beanie. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, no, that's just a ski mask that they've raised, I think.
I'm sorry, I'm not in touch with the fucking ski mask community. You've seen movies with criminals? Can't figure it out? Yeah. But, yeah, ski masks, I don't think I've ever even worn one, to be honest with you. So, in addition to the obvious, you know, criminality behind the fucking dogs, there is videos of him jerking off onto various park items, including a picnic table and a watercraft. What's a watercraft? A boat? I think it's maybe not a... Like a tube? Maybe not a full... Maybe a tube. Maybe it's a paddle boat.
A jet ski? How would you do that? A jet ski, not a park. Skeet skeet on a jet ski? Yeah, you can't do that. You can't do that. But also, parks, dude? Parks. Why? Park items, like, he's jerking off on the monkey bars. What's wrong with this guy? Shoot this guy. Real hard. Last time you did monkey bars. Last time I did monkey bars? Ten years ago, I don't know. Ten years? I don't know. Nice try, Joey. What, is that wrong? There are also clips of, a bit more concerning, showing him shoving lollipops and tree branches up his ass. Bro. Bro.
Lollipop, fine. I could see a place for a lollipop. You could see someone popping their shit with a pop. But a tree branch might be... Bro, tree... That sounds like some evil, dead, horny, wild shit. Yeah. What are you doing? Tree branches? Have you ever seen a tree branch and look at it and just go like, that would fit my ass great? No. Not one tree branch. Not a single one. Not a tree branch. Ew. Ew. And also like...
I'll say this. Lollipop. I know there are freaks out there. You know, there are freaks out there that are like, shove a lollipop in your ass and then put it in my mouth. Right? Yeah. That I feel like happens all the time.
What kind of lollipop are you hoping it was? Strawberry blow pop. Or a watermelon. Watermelon. Yeah. I don't want any of those like, if they were lollipops that you get at like a bank where they're like white and green and orange, they're good. But those aren't meant for assholes. Yeah, no. They're too flat. Well, they're not meant for assholes because of the fact that they're lollipops. They're lollipops. None of them are. Buttholes. Ooh, hear me out. Okay. Sugar daddies.
Kind of like kind of asshole shaped. Yeah, but it's like poop, but it's caramel. I know you love those things. I do. Why do you love that? Sugar daddy is not like the pop. Not like Frankie loves having a sugar daddy. You also said like you love those right after we said asshole. And it was like, I've been different on assholes, I guess. Yeah. Sugar daddies. Yeah. Kind of. If you're thinking about it, I would say a blow pop is probably like the best. Tootsie pop. Push pop.
Okay. Kind of dildo shaped. Yeah, it's the shape of like a doctor's finger. And you can wear it on your hand. Fair. You could have a whole hand of push pop. I've done that. Have you done it? I think I have, but I can't recall. You know what I miss? Do you remember the push pop that was three? I do. Oh!
Not a normal reaction. Literally not. I'm still thinking about the slide. I can tell. I think they were called like triple action push pops. Damn, that's fucking sexual as hell. Red, green, and blue. I do remember that. And you can fucking slide one up and you can fucking suck the green and then you can slide it down and go for red. Yeah. Oh, God. I remember that. It reminds me of those pens where it had like different colors.
Different oh, it was like all of them at the time. You just like press it down It's like oh, I have a green pen if I read stupid no it was very we can agree right? Oh, I liked it I liked having that pen bro. Do you remember that it was like 2003 like our fifth grade year we? Are able to stay on? You remember they came out with like it was like a pen mechanical pencil stylus and it was like a like a big bitch and
I remember like all like the Asian kids we knew showed up with them and I was like, I need to have this. They always had the best fucking pencil. Bro, if I saw Alan Dixon and Tiffany with it, I was like, this is the new cool thing that I need, bro. Unbelievable shit.
Unbelievable. You don't remember those? I don't. Wait, it was a pencil? It was a mechanical pencil. It was three in one. It was a stylus. It was like literally- What's a stylus? A stylus, bro. Like for like a pad? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was no iPads back then? They had it for the pencil. Okay. And then you turn it and it was a mechanical pencil.
Turn it again. Oh, yeah, it was like a turning and it would be like it would go. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, God. Those things are sick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But why did all the Asian kids have all the cool pencils? Bro, they would. I would be like, I'd feel so cool because I'd get like the Bic mechanical pencils and they'd come in with and then they would come in with one that had like gel like on the finger. And I was like, well,
Let me live. It's like a little fish tank in the middle of it. I'm like, what is this? He did have sick pencils. What the fuck is this? Although those pencils where if you lost a piece of the lead, it was ruined. You know, the ones that like you kind of like reload like a fucking AR. I love those. Yeah. Yeah. I want, you know, it's crazy. You mentioned Tiffany. I remember asking her for pencils multiple times. She always told me no. And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that she was trying to quarter the pencil market. I think that she was. Well, I don't think she was selling them. Be honest. What? You would have stole it.
I wouldn't have stole it. You would have given her her pencil back. Knowing how sick she had it. Like the pencil she had. Oh yeah. No I'm leaving with the pencil. That's what I'm saying. She probably knew that. She had them all like fucking perfectly like right on her desk. And she had like four. And I was like can I get one? She was like no. I was like bitch. Are you gonna break three? I gotta say. Life was sick.
When like you can like have like a cool binder, you know, like that was like now kids are going to school with like Stanley cups and fucking, you know, like I, Vera Bradley purses and fucking. Vera Bradley makes purses. I think so. I thought they were just like duffels. I don't know, but I hear you. Yeah. Pencil cases. I fucked with hard pencil cases, binders, dude, a new pair of scissors. Love that bro. Crayons.
Markers.
The box of crayons was like sharpen this crayon I was like I didn't even think that six crayons could be sharpened bro the 64 box of crayons was such a flex if someone pulled that out you immediately thought how you were gonna steal it Oh my god, bro We like recently like there's like a bunch of people that like do like, you know Like they leave garbage on the curb for people to like, you know, take it or get picked up or whatever Yeah, that's a society Frank. That's what we all do. I'm saying we found a box of crayons like legit a briefcase
And you open it? Crayon. Crayons, dude. Sick. I didn't even know there was that many colors. It was like a thousand crayons. How many colors do you think there are in the world? Like a thousand. I think there's way more than that. But people are making up colors all the time now. They'll be like, oh, this- But if it's a different shade, then it has to be a different color. How many colors are there? Well, I think there's that big graph. You know, like when you go on a computer? Yeah. How many colors are there in the world? I'll give you a fucking hint. Ain't a thousand.
I'm looking because you know there's like when you go on like a... Oh, no. I'm going to need an answer though. Can you listen to me? I'm going to tell you how I'm going to help get to that. When you go on like a computer and you can like pick the color and it has like a big rectangle. Yeah, and you can drag. And it has like black over here, white over here, and then everything in between. Right. 100,000.
First, it said probably 10 million. And then it's like realistically probably infinite. Probably, right? Yeah. Because like... Why are you saying probably right when you said a number that was so wrong? I'm just thinking like... Like you're on my side now. To the naked eye, you could probably make the distinction between maybe 10,000 or 100,000 colors. But like...
If it's like the pigment is like 0.0001 different from that one, then technically, yes, you can get into the infinite discussion. Right, right. But no, I think you can see 10,000, 10 million different colors. Like you ever been to a paint shop, bro? They have a bunch of chips with a bunch of different fucking paints. Speaking of lollipops, remember Lollipop Paint Shop?
Do you remember that shit? I can't do it. Do you remember? Do I? Yeah. It was a fucking lollipop that was shaped like a paintbrush that you dunked in sugar. In a bucket of sugar. In a bucket of sugar that it was attached to and then shoved it in your stupid mouth. And I remember the commercials. It was like, first you got to lick it. You lick it, then you dip it.
I love those too. Baby bottle pops? Baby bottle pop, baby pop pop. Lick the bottle, dip it and shake it. Then lick it again. Yo, baby bottle pops? That shit is hard. I'm just saying, we lived in the prime of like lollipops. Yo, you know what you loved when you were younger? What? Stupidest fucking candy ever. Frankie loved this shit. He would have it by the pens of packs. But it would just be a spray. Oh yeah! It's sour and it's just a spray. He would be like...
Yeah, the whole day dude! And it was like a lunchroom party trick that I would spray it in my eyes and that I would... Just remember that! And then we would fill up the cap with as much as we could and see who could take a shot without getting like, without wincing. Bro! I swear to God, I completely forgot. Frankie would... He's like, yo, look at this.
Do you remember the other party trick I had? No. Do you remember Dentine Ice? The little liquid balls? Yeah. I would lick them and pop them in my eyes. Ladies and gentlemen, I mean, unbelievable. We're in the presence of greatness right now. We also have sponsors. That's crazy. I just remembered. We'll get back to this, guys. We'd be at lunch. Excuse me.
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I'm very good. I'm very good. I just spit. I just spit a ton. Yeah, so this guy's fucking lollipops. No, we were talking about how you were spraying sour candy into your own eyes. We were, but back to him fucking lollipops. Oh. Oh, yeah. And tree branches, I think. The tree branches is the wildest. I mean, the criminality is obviously, apparently he's doing this in the park. By the way, if you want to get fucked by a tree, don't record it. Come on.
You know fuck a tree. I mean this are you allowed to fuck trees? You can fuck branches take them to your house. I mean if you bring them home You gotta bring them home. Obviously apart. I mean you can't pull out your bunghole at a park I will say this I've seen some parts of a tree that look like yeah, they look like yeah, you know, bro I've seen some trees. We got some fat asses dude fucking ass, bro. I'm talking like a like a like a like a
Flimp, you know like they got vaginas. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Oh, I've seen that too You had a vagina tree on your block. You remember so we used to whoa whoa, whoa, whoa chill chill chill Hold on take it easy before you're gonna do it was a tree on frankie's block that split off like this and then we used to go over to him be like And like we're rubbing it in the middle. It's just like, you know, yeah, so it's like we were rubbing a tree's puss well like oh
Listen, man. It's a moron. Before phones, you had to do anything you could. There was no porn for us. We just had trees that had seemingly vaginas. No, there was porn. There was porn. But we didn't have access. No, we did. Okay. We did. We did. But like, it was hard. It was so hard.
To get your hands on porn back then. Or because you can't watch porn because the only way you can get it. Was in the family computer, which was in the middle of the living room. Yeah. Literally where it was like everyone was watching. So like. Yeah. It was hard. So you had to find your thing. God forbid. God forbid. God forbid. I was going to say, God forbid. My dad was out. My mom was like taking a bath. I'd be like, oh my God, it's perfect time.
watching porn in the living room. Why is that? Oh, because no one's around. They were busy. Yeah, they were like not there. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Done that. Yeah, I mean, you know. You gotta watch porn in your own living room. Trees. Wait, living room? Have I? When your computer was there, you never did? My computer was never in my living room. I would always Google like fucking girls or something. When you're young, you're like, I don't know what to look for. So you're like, girls? Just go and you just... Girls shirts. Girls shirts.
That's so funny. I wish, I wish, ow, I wish there was like a way to see like the family computer, like 2003 search history because like you didn't know how to look up porn. Boobie do's. Big boobies, naked wet. Yeah. You know, just like,
Or the way that you had to do it back then before it was readily available was fucking LimeWire and Kazaa and BearShare and shit like that. Yeah, typing in wet t-shirt contest Cancun and then downloading the first three videos. And then you'd always get one that was just like, I don't know if you remember it. I think we've spoken about it on the show. But you download your music there. You would basically give your whole computer the most wild fucking un-turable venereal disease on the planet. 100%.
But then there was always like you download a version of whether it be a porno or whatever. And it was like someone trying to sound like Bill Clinton. Yeah, it was like a political. It was like, I did not.
Vote in this primary and it was like spam. What do you do? I just like dude i'm here for porn not bill I dude I just I just want to hear You know some fucking natasha beddingfield. I don't want to have to hear this Oh, yeah that I was talking about when you download porn either way. Yeah porn natasha beddingfield same shit. Yeah different stuff Well different but shout out to natasha beddingfield, by the way, great songs, which ones? um
Unwritten? Pocket full of sunshine? Pocket full of sunshine. These words? BANG BANG BA-BANG I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU Damn, she had- Shit is crazy, yeah. We had a game for the Wii growing up that was American Idol. Do you remember that?
No. And that song was on there. Yeah, Natasha Bedingfield's got hits, dude. She does. Shady hits, too. She's also got a full bag of laundry as well. I think we've talked about Natasha Bedingfield, I think, quite a bit. She popped up on my thing the other day.
On like TikTok. Oh. She was like singing a song and like running through a field. And then the comments were like, yo. Good for her. The comments were like, yo, what the fuck? She's got a pocket full of sunshine. She had a pocket full of sunshine. Two pockets. Well, you know what's funny is I'm having the ultimate fucking form of like deja vu right now. I think we've had this exact conversation. Probably. I mean, yeah. Exact conversation. She's a beautiful woman. We respect you and your music. But...
Unwritten by the way could be top 50 all-time songs. I think I've ever heard I would need to hear it again unwritten sing it babe staring at the blank page before you looking up Yes, I should have so hard do that's I thought that was not calling written I thought it was I don't know
Yeah, The Rest is Still Unwritten is how that ends. The rest is still unwritten. Yeah, exactly. I didn't know that. Yeah, you did a little Hamilton to it at the end there. You know, I respect it. Hamilton did? Yeah, like Hamilton liked to play. Oh, I know. Yeah, but how did I do that? I don't know. Like the shit that you did. I don't know. Oh, vibrato? Jeez, take it easy, Mariah Carey with all these terms. Vibrato. Take it easy. So here's the question I pose you.
Obviously, we're not doing types of trees or whatever because we don't know many types. I don't know any. I know some. Spruce. Spruce. No, I know what they look like. A spruce is a Christmas tree, right? Or a Douglas fir. Douglas fir? That sounds like an insurance company. You could have spruces, firs.
Balsam fur. Why do you... Sometimes when you say words, it sounds like your mouth is circular. It's like, balsam fur. My mouth is circular, Joey. You know what I mean. But it is a circle. It's bulbous. It's like a circle fur. Douglas fur. Yeah, like you do that. Oh, fucking forgive me. How should I talk? Please. Douglas fur. Not like Douglas fur. Okay, okay, okay. Douglas fur. Okay. You fucking loser. Fuck you. If you can have sex with three candies...
Candy? Or lollipops? Lollipops? Candy? I don't know. Like, which ones are you doing? How am I going to answer that? Which kind of... Peach rings. There it is. That's how you answer it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peach rings, peach rings. Peach rings? Maybe if you warmed them up a little. Ill? They melt. That'll fucking... A little. A little warm up. No, dude. Not full warm. Like put them in your back pocket and sit down for an hour? No, like throw it in the microwave for like five or like a six hours.
You don't want to get a little warm. Let the sugar melt. I'm telling you, you're getting dangerous. Sugar melt becomes lava. No, no, no. You ever seen those videos of people making candy pillows and stuff like that? That fucking sugar is a thousand degrees, dude. Well, that's what happens when you melt it. I'm talking about putting it in for six seconds. Sugar has a low melting point, dude. What is it? Low.
It ain't that low. It's low. I just want to make it a little soft and then maybe slide in and out of it. Really? Yeah, like put it on like a cock ring. I don't know, man. Yeah. I don't know. What? Do you have a different answer? Oh, I thought you were going like, you know, big, fat Tootsie Roll.
That would, like, hurt. Would it? That shit's like clay. Well, to the uninitiated asshole like yours. Like mine, too. Oh, you're talking about... Oh, wait. First of all, you're talking about getting fucked by something. Or fucking. Either way. Yeah. I chose something that I was gonna bang. You're choosing something that's going to bang you. Bubblegum. But, like, chewed bubblegum. No? Do you think...
that if you put a water if you have like hubba bubba yeah right he ate like four of them uh big league chew that's that's my favorite okay okay so let's say you got like a whole watermelon no one cares but you have a whole bunch of that right and you chew it up and then you put it on your butt and then you farted would it make a bowl i'm 32 years old i'm literally 32 i just turned 32 and i asked that question yeah as it left my mouth i'm like what am i doing yeah i would say we gotta try it
We don't. We do. I just want to put it out there because then maybe someone will be like, yeah, this happened. No, you got to be careful because you're going to get a bunch of DMs of people shoving bubblegum up their ass and just farting out fucking, you know. I won't. And if I do, the block button is going to be going crazy. Yeah. I'm just not going to open DMs ever again. It's filled with bubblegum. I can't. I think it could happen. Of course. Do you think you're a good bubble blower?
I'm okay. Really? I'm okay. I'm not bad. There's people who are pathetic at it. Yeah, I'm really a good bubble blower. You are. I am. For some reason. You used to take your gum out of your mouth and blow a bubble and be like, wave it around like it was a balloon. You loved doing that for some reason. I do, especially in the cold. Because it gets a little hard. You ever eat ice while you're chewing bubble gum? Love it, dude. Why? Try it.
Well, I don't. No, no, no. Hear me out. Okay. Go home. I don't eat a lot of gum. All right. Well, do it. It's gum, dude. Yeah. Get like a good bubble gum gum. What's a good gum? Hubba Bubba. Bubble Yum. Those are both not good. Bubble Yum's good. Bubble Yum. Hubba Bubba. Hubba Bubba's not great. Bubble Tape. What's the double bubble? Double bubble? Double bubble. Double bubble? Double bubble. No, but that's the one that you get in like Halloween bags and it's good for a minute and then it's gone. And it's garbage. Yeah, exactly. It's gone.
Bazooka. Bazooka. A big league chew. You love that shit. Oh my God, it's so good. It's okay. No, it's so good. That's your favorite gum? I would say without a doubt, my favorite gum. I mean, listen, Pop-Tarts, Taco Bell. They don't make gum. Listen. Oh, and then Hubba Bubba. Hear me out. Oh no, big league chew. Pop-Tarts. Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Heated battle right now. Very neck and neck. Neck and neck is crazy. Yeah, our lawyers are going insane. Big league chew. Everyone loves an underdog.
Everyone was really excited about the Arizona Diamondbacks, you know, sneaking their way into the World Series last year. Who doesn't like the Detroit Lions? You're naming baseball teams. Football teams, too. Underdogs is what I'm talking about here.
There's a chance you could get in on the great Basement Yard branding big war. What was it? Big Basement Yard branding battle war. What was it? I don't know. Brand war. Big brand Basement Yard branding big bidding war. That definitely isn't it, and I'm not even certain, but I know that's not it.
There's a place for you. That's all I'm going to say. In his house. There's also in our house. I mean, I would eat it. You would. It's not my first gum choice. What's your first gum choice? Joey. Joey. I'm just putting this out there. I'm putting this out there. I also do like Dentine Ice Cubes. They're good. But. I like those too. The ones that have like the little. The little like little balls in them. Yeah. I'm glad you said it. If you sit here and give me like my favorite gum.
You know Orbit I'm gonna kill you No it's definitely not Orbit I'm gonna murder you No But what kind of gum Are we talking about gum For like I want Forget like Don't give me a gum That you like Clean your teeth with Yeah that's what I mean I want like You're indulging I'm getting some stupid gum Yeah It's the darker What fucking What's the one with the duck on it Bubble yum
It's the darker one of that. It's like a, like a, the grape. It's not grape. No, it's like the, still the pink bubble gum flavor. But for some reason it's like, Oh, maybe it's con canned. Ill. Ill. Ill. No, dude. Ill, ill, ill. No, it's good. Cotton cape. Cotton cape. Cotton capes. Candy flavored gum. It's good.
It's a good gum. I also like watermelon bubble, whatever it is. Bubble bait. I know what you're talking about. Bubble bum. Yeah. I think if you put it on your ass real tight, you could fart and blow a bubble. Yeah.
tight. You can do it. Yeah. You know what else we can do? Get to the rest of these sponsors we have today. What a transition. We have stamps.com, folks. If you want to buy or you want to ship stuff all over the place, you can do it with stamps.com, okay? It brings all the amazing services of the post office right to your fingertips. All you need is a printer, okay? And some enthusiasm, all right? You go on the website,
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So there you have it, folks. Enjoy. And lastly here, we have PrizePix. PrizePix, America's number one fantasy sports app with over 3 million members. Okay, my friends love this. You know, it's great. And it's very easy to understand, too, if you would like to play, you know, some fantasy sports, but you don't really understand certain things. I understand how it can get confusing, but with PrizePix, it's very easy to understand. There are PrizePix.com.
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Basketball like whatever it is. They have it on there. So go to prize picks calm slash basement Use the code basement for that first deposit match up to $100. Like I said, it's up to 100 It doesn't have to be 100 you put in 20 bucks. They'll put in 20 You have $40 to play with with go try it out. It's a lot of fun But yeah price picks calm slash basement use that code basement for the first deposit match. You're welcome What were you talking about? Yes. Oh the big brand bidding war. Oh
The basement yard big brand bidding war of 2024. Wow, that all kind of like rhymes. You like that, right? I don't. I'd be rhyming sometimes. I'm off the top of the dome. No, no, no, no, no. We're not going to go down there. No, come on. Come on. Go ahead. What do you want me to rhyme about? Nothing. I don't want you to. That's the whole point. What do you want me to rap about, though? Nothing. Give me a topic or a word you want me to include. Bananas. Bananas.
Bananas in pajamas are running down the stairs Bananas in pajamas, they're chasing teddy bears That's just That's just the cartoon theme song Wait, is that how that goes? That's the second line? Yeah, bananas in pajamas Are coming down the stairs Bananas in pajamas Are chasing teddy bears That's kind of freaky Who wrote that up? Let's put bananas in pajamas Bro, the Australians are on like They're like kid show fucking like shit Really? Yeah
Bananas in pajamas. Never watched an episode, by the way. Teletubbies. Never watched an episode of that. Pretty sure. That was past our kid years, but pretty sure that's Australian. The Wiggles. I don't... Isn't that the Teletubbies? No. Different, dude. But the same. The Wiggles were just middle-aged men that sang, and now there's a woman in there. Bluey. Big Bluey fans over at our house. Is that the dog? Yes. Big Bluey fans. Is that Blue's Clues, but like... No. Separate. Separate. Just Australian dogs just playing.
What's Pete the Cat? Do you do that? I do do... We've done Pete the Cat, but I'm not big Pete the Cat fans. Okay. What are you doing? I mean, I don't... You don't have kids, so you're not big... Well, I'm over there and they do... Blippi. Love Blippi. Blippi and Mika. Who's Mika? It's Blippi's friend, Mika. Oh, they're boys? Yeah, they're cool. They're like best friends. Miss Rachel? Miss Rachel. Big Miss Rachel fans in our house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love Miss Rachel. Yeah.
Is there any other YouTube competitors to her? Pop-Tart. Frankie. Taco Bell.
We should have Miss Rachel come in and explain shit to us. There is a zero percent chance that Miss Rachel comes into this fucking studio. We would destroy her reputation. We would absolutely. I don't want to be on that fucking show with those idiots. She's on like the Today Show, like saying how beautiful it is to make kids smile. And then we're sitting here talking about shoving popsicles up your ass, a lollipop. Oh, we didn't do it. That guy did it. That's not fair. We're talking about it. We're guilty by association. People talk. Not on his crimes, but like we're talking about that stuff. Yeah.
Listen, it'd be funny if Miss Rachel wanted to like transition into like, you know more like fun like adult humor Chances that ain't gonna happen. No, she seems like a very nice woman. She does she does but she's got it She knows if she's got a down pat. She knows her brand and you know at this point She's probably become big enough that she has publicists and people working with her Yeah, they're gonna say listen people who will throw us into a van and like kill us probably. Yeah, I
Is that what they do? I think. I don't know. What? That was just a thing I said. That was just a thing? Yeah. I didn't know if you knew something I didn't know. No, I have no idea, actually. But Joey...
Speaking of children's programming, we actually have one other thing to speak about today. Now I don't know. It was a story. So there was someone that came out online. I don't know if it was Reddit or TikTok or one of those. One of the ones. Where people just feel like they can just tell all their secrets. Yeah. And they had worked as a person in costume at Disneyland or Disney World. People that dress up like Mickey, Minnie, Buffy. They're like performers, yeah. And she said that...
Middle-aged drunk women love to go to Disney and grope Mickey Mouse. Makes so much sense, honestly. But like in the story she was telling, she was like, yeah, they were telling me like their hotel room and like their numbers and to show up and fuck them and stuff like that. Dude, honestly, that's how I picture like a lot of like...
I would say like 48-year-old Bob White wine moms are at Disney being like, I want to get drilled by Daffy Duck. Daffy? I don't know. I'm not saying me. I'm saying them. Goofy's probably got a fucking hammer on him, bro. Yeah, Goofy's got a stupid silly one. Are you kidding me? He's probably got a long silly one. Ya hook? And he's got a fucking, you know he's got that ya hook downtown. You know Mickey Mouse's first name?
Michael. No, dude. What is it? Mortimer. Ew. What is he, a grease? Like, what is that?
It's like something you protect your deck with. It's like, oh, yeah, put Mortimer on it. If it rains, it's fine. What the fuck? Yeah, just rub Shubham to Mortimer in on that shower. It'll be nice and sealed. Mortimer. What a name, dude. Ew. It was all those names back in the 20s where it would be like, ah, the best boy name of this year, Mortimer. The second one, Eustace. Yeah, like, ew. That sucks. Ulysses. Like, what the fuck are we saying? Hold on. I've come back around on Ulysses. Pretty cool name. No, it's not. No? It's not.
Any name that begins with a U, like what are we doing? Ursula. That's not bad. That's a cool name. You're a big sea witch. Ursula. It does sound like a good dish. Ursula. What other U names are there? Ulysses. I was about to say Eugene. I mean, that's an E though. What other U names are there? I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Shit is whack. Uganda. I think you mean Uganda and that's a country.
Unger? Unger? I know someone that's their last name. That sucks. They're a pretty cool dude. I want to look up you names. It's going to be like fucking... We just communicated like whales back there. Did you hear that? Names that start with U. It's going to be like Ulysses. We just said that one. Ulysses. Yeah. Urban. Urban.
Like Urban Meyer. Oh, okay. I guess. Ulrich. Like Skeet Ulrich? Yeah. That's a last name, bro. Skeet is not a first name either. Both of those names suck. I don't think his real name is Skeet. That's a bad nickname to have, too. It was the 90s. No one cared. Uriah. I don't hate that. I don't like that. That's actually... I like that one. Umar. Never heard of an Umar, but I guess that works. Ugo? U-G-O. Ugo. Ugo. Ugo.
Come on. I don't want to make fun of them in case that they're like, you know, names of like religions. I don't understand, but. Ugo? Yeah, kind of. And then we have Uma. Uma Thurman. Uma. Uma, which is. That's stupid. To me. It's so close to Puma, which is a sick name. That is. Puma is. Pumas are dope. Pumas are really sick. They're quick, aren't they? They're all. They're all cats. Not the question. Cats are all quick. That's what I'm saying. Are they? Name a slow cat. Garfield. Garfield.
Well, he's a fat cat. Yeah, fat cats, they get fat. But he has succumbed to obesity. I'm saying like if you get like a cat and not fat, they're all, think about it. Fastest cats. Lions, tigers, pumas, jaguars, cheetahs, leopards, minxes, lynxes, ocelots. Ocelots? All fat. It's like a big, you ever seen an ocelot? They're like domesticated cheetahs.
Oh, I have seen that. They have big teeth. They're big bitches. I want to... They've got like the extra hair on their ears. I would get one. Are they safe? I don't know. Try it out. I don't know. That thing will murder Charlie in its sleep. Well, yeah, Charlie. I mean, a bee could kill that dog. He's just like the softest, like cuddly little guy. You know what they say. They take the personality of their owner. Yeah, I'm a little cuddly soft guy. You know what? You turn that around on me and I really like how you did that.
You thought I was gonna defend my position. Now I look like the asshole. Yeah, like, yo, you're so hard and tough. Honestly, good job. Thank you, Dad. I don't even know what... Yeah, so these fucking middle-aged women are going and they want to, like, jerk off Mickey Mouse. So someone was, like, on Reddit being like, yo, I work at Mickey Mouse. And the weirdest part is that it was a woman. And she was just like... Oh, it was a woman? They think that it's, like, the male characters are men and the female characters are all women. And it's like, anyone can do either.
I guess it would make more sense for female to do male than it would. But nonetheless, like, imagine, like, groping Mickey Mouse. Yeah, very weird. What is that? First of all, these Disney adults... Enough Chardonnays.
bro start making a mouse starts like yeah chardonnay is horny goat weed for ladies yeah it is it is a hundred percent cialis for middle-aged women it is yeah it's the it's the lady she viagra chiagra yeah it is chardonnay it's unbelievable i've seen a video of a woman she goes she goes jesus she goes to take a picture with gaston now if we're groping
So she went like this, right? To him. She was taking a picture and then she turned around. She went like this to his pecs. Yeah. And the guy got pissed. He's like, get the fuck out of here. No. Yeah. He sent her off. And she's like, no, I'm just kidding. He's like, no, I'm fucking. Get out. I don't think they can talk. It's like a rule that like they're not supposed to talk. He wasn't wearing a hat. He was a dude. He was a. Oh, a real life guy. I thought it was the suit. No, he was wearing. Oh, you can't. You can't grow up a real person. Oh, don't grow up anyone. No, he was wearing like a suit.
Just to make that very clear. He was wearing like a styrofoam suit that made him like look bigger, but it was like his actual face. Yeah, don't do that, lady. So she went like this and he was just like, get out of here.
Well, he's known to be an asshole, Gaston. He's not, like, now... Well, they're under strict rules, too. I know, dude. They're, like... I actually... I know someone that's working at Disney right now. I should probably ask him about, like, what this stuff... Like, what the rules actually are. But, like, apparently it's, like, they can't talk. They can't make noise. Yeah. They can't, like... Don't take your head off and smoke a cig. Yeah. Like, you need to be deep in the catacombs of Disney in order to get that done. Yeah. But, like, that's why you see them in the, like...
You know, like they use their hands so much because they can't talk or make noise. Dude, it was actually funny. The last time I was there, I was there with my whole family and my sister just wanted to take a picture with, I think Winnie the Pooh? Honestly, yeah. But Winnie the Pooh, it was like a celebrity was walking by because he has security guards. Because like, you can only take pictures with...
Those characters, specific characters. And like specific areas. And areas, because there's like a line that... Yeah, I remember. I mean, it's been a while since I've been, but I remember that. So he was walking and Shannon's like, oh, I want to... And they were like, no.
But then someone was just taking pictures of her or whatever. So she ended up like getting it anyway, but it wasn't like they posed. She just got a picture. Dude. I remember when the last time I've been to Disney world was I think like 2000, 2001. And I remember, yeah, it's a tough year. It was before Q4. Yeah. It was before Q3. Oh, that's what I mean. Yeah. Uh, and, um,
I remember, like, because we had, we got, like, the autograph books, and we were, like, so excited and everything. One character who was a real asshole to us. Snoop. Snoop? Snoopy, I was going to say, but that's not. Snoopy is not a Disney character. Yeah, who? Take a wild guess. Who just gives off a little bit of chaotic, kind of not fun vibe? Tasmanian Devil. Again, not a Disney character. Really? You've somehow guessed two non-Disney characters. Minnie. Minnie.
No, she was, from what I remember, fine. Okay. Rafiki. Wasn't about us, dude. And I was like, what the hell, dude? Like, you're cool. Like, I love how you crack open that fucking thing. Yeah, and you paint foreheads. And you paint foreheads.
Just not a big... He was like, nah. Yeah. He was just like... Did he have a stick? He had the staff. Damn. He did. So we had a... Yeah, we were young kids. We were afraid. Didn't want to get fucking... Remember when he hits him on the head? I do remember that. That shit, that could hurt a young boy. It could kill a... It could... It hurt a lion and they are meant to take a little bit more of a beating than us. Of course. So... Damn, sorry about that. Yeah, well, ruined it forever. Hasn't been back. Maybe one day though. I haven't. Maybe. I don't know. I want to go with the kids one day, but I have to wait until they're a little older because it...
You have to wait until you have $10 billion to afford it because it's... Fuck affording. Just like the absolute nightmare of going to Disney with children. I can't even imagine it. It's... You need like a full... Like my sister did it with the kids. And like she had like both my parents there with their significant others. Like it was like a job. Yeah. It was work. Vacations with kids...
Is not vacations. It's work. It's just work outside the house. I got a Hampton house like last summer for my family. And afterwards, my sister was just kind of like, I appreciate it and like whatever. But like, this isn't a vacation. It's not. Because it just makes it hard. You have to have all the shit. Forget about having it. But just like something that like you'll maybe see one day when you have kids is like,
When the kids are out of their element, it's just like a fucking, it's like a new world for them. They don't give a shit. They won't sleep. They won't eat. They won't do anything because it's just like, where is this? We're on another planet. Yeah. Having a dog is a little similar, except they just- Shut up. They just pee and throw up on stuff.
Anyway. That's what humans do too, Joey. That's all for this week's episode. Frank, where can they find you? At Falbert. I put it up on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez and all other forms of social media. And you go check out The Basement Yard on all forms of social media. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. Thebasementyard.com. Joe Santagato. Santagato Studios. Every guy. Every guy. Everywhere. Go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at The Basement Yard. And that is all. See you guys next time.
That's a symbol crash.