Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome back to the basement Welcome back to the basement yard Frank, how's it going buddy? We're wearing the same outfit. We are we're looking like twinsies today. Oh, I gotta pop it out pop that little fucking little whore out. Oh I see randomly. I'll see comments on tiktok. Is there a knot in yours? A knot? I think there's a knot in yours. Maybe. Damn this guy Get the knot out bro. What's wrong with you? Dude chill. Fuck you now. Fix it. I'm going back now. Buy us more jewelry. Fuck you Buy us rings pinky rings. Okay
No. Why not? Because we're not Colombian drug dealers. That's why. That seems racist. Feels, doesn't it? It does. No, I just, whenever I picture like rings, like pinky rings, I'm like, all right, someone's like either a pimp or like they're dealing drugs. I was recently eating a sandwich and I noticed like my- You've said this. My pinkies were out like this and I was like, oh, this would be a perfect-
Like moment to have just fat fucking pinky rings. Double? Well. Double ring? I don't know about double. Double would be a little too much. But like I need at least one on this hand. Because I got the wedding band. I need one over here. Is it going to be iced? It has to be, right? I would think so. And like if it's a ring. Danny's got a pinky ring. I just noticed that. Does he? I went to dinner the other day and I was like, is that a fucking pinky ring? I can't have it. Why? Because I'm not Danny.
What do you think? He's the only person who has a pinky ring? That's funny. I was scrolling something, I think TikTok the other day, and there was like a compilation of like basement yard stuff. And there was a comment on it. And it was like, what was Frank before the basement yard? What was he? The comment was Danny. He was Danny. What?
Yeah. But I think just one just like... Just stupid fat ring. Yeah. Like I never got like a high school graduation ring. That's the biggest scam. Is it? Bro, paying money for any sort of graduation ring? I have to admit, I always wanted one. Bro, paying... I wanted people to know... For what? That I graduated high school. You know? But also you get them in like middle school. They did have them in middle school too. I didn't get them. Bro, I...
You know, I had a, my dad had got me a ring from Columbia when I was a kid. When we were in like fourth grade. Let me guess, it was steel. It was, no, it was gold. White gold? No, it was gold gold. Oh, I was going to say. But I lost it during a game of, I think, kickball. A ring? Yeah. You kick with your feet. How'd you lose it? I think like going to catch and it went like that and it like came off my finger or something. But since then...
You know, since then, the only ring I've had is my wedding ring, which obviously I love. And it just feels like this is like... It's like... He's lonely. He's lonely. He's a little lonely boy. And he's friends. Exactly. Right. You know, like... Why don't you wear like a pointer finger ring or something? Pointer finger ring. I don't know. I feel like a pinky ring would just kind of like...
You know, like when I put my hand down, people would be like, you'll hear it. You just want to hear some clanging metal. I want a clinking clang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? You would love that, wouldn't you? Kind of. Or like you'd probably be thinking about something on like a metal set. Yeah, just like, oh, what was I thinking about? It's like, or you do a lot of this now. You'd be like, oh. Can I ask you a serious question? Yes. When you're on a long drive in the car, what do you do with your arms and your hands?
Drive the vehicle. But you don't drive like fucking... No, I don't. Like this the whole time. Like, do you do this? Do you do this? You know what I do sometimes? Do you do this? I put this. Yeah, I'm driving a fucking semi. Do you do this? No, bro. That's not what I'm saying. What was this? Like, sometimes I'll drive... You hold the... Sometimes I do hold the drive. Sometimes I put my hand back here like this.
I swear to God. You put your hand behind your head like you're sunbathing? Yeah, sometimes I put it. So, like, you know how. You're going to think I'm an absolute psychopath. You put it behind the headrest? So, you know how, like, the chair is behind, you know, the seat's behind here. And then there's, like, where your belt comes from. And then there's, like, it's like a, it, like, comes out like that a little bit. I put my arm behind that and I stretch a little bit just to get a good stretch.
I swear to God. But I noticed the other day I was driving and normally when I come on long drives to and from here, the studio, I have a cup in my hand, my spittoon, my sunflower seed cup. Okay. But the other day I was driving and I was driving. Okay. And I was just like this the whole time. And I realized, I was like, wait, what am I doing? You were driving like this? Yeah. Yeah.
Who are you? I don't know. And what are you? I don't know, but I'm asking, do you do anything weird when you drive your car? Nothing, like, too strange. Like, sometimes I'll, like, have my hand on the gear shift, and I'll just, like, click the button. That's a little...
Oh shit. That's not what I'm doing. That's a little dirty, dude. Sometimes I'll just like click the button. One hand on that steering wheel, other hand on the... Pussy. Yeah. Whatever he says. He says he's pussy? I mean, you said it, not me. I think he says pussy. Who is he? 2 Chainz? That is 2 Chainz, yeah. Titty boy. Double change titty boy, yeah, that's right. But yeah, I don't do anything like crazy. I don't like reach back. I'm not stretching. When you drive, you keep a handle like this? Honestly, I two finger it around 4 o'clock.
I do that. I do figure it right here around four o'clock. I even do this sometimes. I swear to God. You drive like this? Yeah. Sometimes. You don't drive like this. Sometimes, Joey. I'm telling you what I do sometimes. Okay. Do you ever grab the steering wheel with both hands? Sometimes I do that. I'm like, this is so stupid. I do. Sometimes when I'm really like, I'm feeling playful when I'm driving. I just drive holding the horn. Horned?
You hold it like this and you turn it? I hold it like that and I drive like that, yeah. You're going to get into an accident, aren't you? A big fiery one, you dumbass. Hold the steering wheel. Don't drive like this. Not like when I'm like turning and shit, but like just like... On the highway when you're going 80. Let me explain something. My car has smart cruise control where basically all I need, it has lane assist. I just need to put my hand on the steering wheel. Lane assist doesn't mean it drives the car. It means it goes, hey, hey.
It keeps you in the lanes. It keeps you from going out of the lanes. Don't trust it. I do trust it. Idiot. It's not stupid. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Bro, okay. Let your steamboat go on the way home. No, no, no. I keep a hand on it. I don't let it go. Yeah, like this. Sometimes I put my knee on it. I knee it. I knee it. I will do that. I will knee. I remember my dad doing that growing up, and I was just like, I want to do that one day. And I did.
Was it everything you hoped it would be? I do that too. I keep my knee on it just to keep it like secure and stop. Like, you know what I'm saying? When you're like, you know, like checking like someone in the mirror or like you're grabbing a piece of gum or something. Yeah. Yeah. But like, usually I, you know, do you turn sometimes? Like, oh, usually I'll turn, like I'll press my palm and I'll go like this. Yeah. Yeah. Usually. And I love it when I stop the turn and I'm straightening out and I just let it go. And it just...
And it comes back through my hands. I like that. Yeah, I do like that. Jeeps, though, you have to manually... Fuck Jeeps. I hate that. Fuck Jeeps. I do like Jeeps. No, fuck them. Fuck these stupid cars. Okay, I don't know what you have against Jeeps, but that's weird. But sometimes, though, when I turn, I do this, where I reach through and I pull down. Like you're fucking on a ship.
Yeah, like I'm steering the Titanic. You're heaving and hoeing. I like that. Yeah, sometimes I'd be like, oh, I'm making a left. Oh, I like that. Sometimes, you know, like the steering wheel has that like part underneath where it's just like a little, it's like a little. A hole. It's like a little hole in the steering wheel. Sometimes I put my whole hand through that and I, uh-oh. First of all, danger. The one in my, I don't even know if my car has that now.
But I have never done that. I've done it. Where you're driving with your arm like that. Basically, yeah. It's alright. We're idiots. Listen, life is about doing things a little differently. Where's your left foot? Because sometimes I put that shit up here. Oh, I don't do that. That's dangerous. You get into an accident, you're eating your knees, babe. My whole body's split in half. No, I... Starting at my ass. I do, so when I put the cruise control on, I'll just like, kind of like sit. I cross a little bit like I'm a dapper baby.
Like you're what? Like I'm dapper. Like I'm sitting there like, oh, driving with my legs crossed. And then I get a little scared and then I stop. Yeah. You know, but I also put it on like the left, you know. Yeah, the little thing. But sometimes I literally like where there's like a vent here. Yes. It's right up on that like crazy. And then I drive. Absolutely crazy. I don't do it like. That's still crazy. Is it? Yeah, it's nuts.
I'll sit on my leg. That's also stupid. I'm going to go for that last thing I said. I only need one leg to drive. I can do whatever I want with the other one. I was going to make fun of them, but I have to admit, I am impressed by people that can drive with both feet.
That's incorrect. What do you mean impressed? I've met people that learn to drive with gas brake, gas brake. Who taught them how to drive? A fucking idiot? They were dumb. As a person, they were dumb. I started driving that way and my dad's like, what are you doing? He had taken me out like twice.
Go to go driving and I was driving with two feet because he never said anything to me He just assumed I knew one foot. I'm like two pedals two feet This is what driving is one of those things that you see people do enough where you're just like I can do this Like it's not as bad hard as hard as people think it's just scary. It's scary because of the highways I'll admit that the first time The first time I was asked to go on a highway by my driving instructor. I like pretended to not hear and
So you just got out of it? So I just didn't go on the island. It was by where the Boulevard building is in Astoria, or I guess Jackson Heights. Yeah. And it was like, you go that way to go toward that roundabout that brings you back to Ditmars. Yeah. That's like Northern, and then the Grand Central. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And he was like, all right, just get on here. I was like, what? And I just kept driving.
He was like, oh, I want... All right, never mind. I was like, oh, I fucking forgot. What? Oh, oh. I'm so sorry. Why my ear? Stupid. That's funny. The first time my dad was like... All right, get in the highway. It was one of the first times I was driving. He was just trying to get me to be like...
Don't be scared. We're going to do everything. Yeah, throw you in the pool, figure out how to swim. I literally was like, don't want to drive on this specific road, but it's the one at the top that separates the avenues. You know what I'm talking about? It's a road, like at the top of my boat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like, it's a skinnier road, so that scares me because I don't want to hit the cars on either side. Yeah, I understand. Immediately made me drive there. Yeah. And I got through fine. But then when I got on the highway, I was so like...
Yeah. Looking all the way back and not paying attention, I drove right onto the grass. Like the side of the shoulder. And he didn't say anything. He's looking at me like this, and we're just bouncing around. It was mad funny. It's all right. What are you going to do? That's how you learn how to drive. That is how you learn how to drive. Anyway, I think we'd be remiss if we didn't talk about JoJo Siwa. Oh. Yeah. Fucking the fifth member of KISS, apparently. Yeah.
Shout out to JoJo Siwa, rich as shit. Is she? When she was younger, which is crazy. She was like a hyper Nickelodeon star. She's like 19, I think, or something right now. No, is she? Bro, she's young as fucking shish. Kebabs. How old are we? JoJo Siwa age. Weird thing to be type 20. Wow. She's 20 years old. Loaded. Absolutely loaded. She started on that show Dance Moms, right? Yeah, something like that. Net worth, let's see, 20 something.
That's nothing compared to big Billy boys over here. Let me tell you right now. 20 macaronis. Joey has watches that way more than that. Way? Yeah, way more than...
Horrible. Sorry. Anyway, JoJo Siwa, that fucking... Yeah, what the hell was that? I guess she's going through like a... Rebrand. A rebrand. Yeah. Because the JoJo Siwa that we knew... But she's also, it sounds like she's running through packs of cigarettes. Yeah. With the way that she's... Dream guests on my podcast! You know who she sounds like? The fucking, the chocolate thing from SpongeBob? Chocolate! What are they selling?
She was like such a like teeny bopper like fucking like like ponytail to the side Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now she's just like yeah And she's like she has like tattoos now too doesn't she? I don't know cuz sometimes I see her with tattoos and I'm like there's a lot of tattoos But then I see her I'm like no tattoos. So maybe they're temporary ones? I don't know. They could be honestly they could be. What I do know is
She's going through the rebrand and like... Yeah. It's like... First of all, there's all this stuff about the song that she released. Apparently, it's been plagiarized. That's plagiarized. We're talking about the music industry, by the way. I love when people find out that people don't write their own songs. Nobody's doing that. The only person that does do that is...
This guy right here and that guy right there. We write our own songs. We never had any ghost writers. Just want to put that out there. But, like, people aren't writing their songs like pop stars and shit. Like, you ever look at the writing credits? Because they're fucking plugged into a computer and they fucking... An AI program churns out the most, like, hit-worthy song that you think anyone... What? Come on. Give me a break. So that's not a big deal. But I will say... If someone sat down and wrote baby, baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, baby, no for Justin Bieber, they should fucking...
Someone did though. That's crazy. Absolutely crazy. A group wrote that. That's wild. Things happen. But yeah, she's like, I love that. The clip that's going everywhere. Dream guest of my podcast. I love that. She thought that she says, I'm in like the tabloids are going to run like this. And she was like, let's spice it up. One of my exes.
Bro, if you spoke to any of my exes at 20, it would be such a stupid conversation. Oh, my God. Because they'd be like, all he cared about was fucking Call of Duty and zombies and the ray gun. And his Chad Johnson jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, all he cares about is how fast Champ Bailey can run. And it's like...
fuck are you gonna get from them yeah i don't know you know so we have to like it's not fair it is honestly it isn't fair because these people are 20 years old when i was 20 years old it would be way worse if i was in her position to like the cringy things i would have been doing yes and that i have done you did yeah take it easy you did uh but like it's just so funny to see those moments i just i feel like there's probably she's probably stuck in like this weird loop of like she grew up a child star yeah so like
There's pressure to be like, you have to- You need to reinvent. I mean, like, look at like Miley Cyrus. Fucking Hannah Montana. You just want to rebel hard against that. And then she did the hardest 180 into like fucking drugs and grinding on Robin Thicke that like I imagine- Oh yeah, there was that. You remember that, right? Yeah, yeah. She was like grinding on him hard, dude. Remember this? It was always this. Yeah, yeah. It was everything. I'll be honest with you. I like Miley Cyrus a lot. That song though, We Can't Stop.
Bang bang bang bang Crazy yo, Miley Cyrus has heat all I'm gonna say is you know after the Super Bowl this year Becca and I were like who is like still like who is iconic and like has the catalog that would be able to put on like a good Super Bowl show crazy Miley Cyrus could do bang bang bong can't stop
Wrecking Ball. Party in the USA. Party in the USA. Yeah, I'll punch a window out every time I hear that. She could do some covers. She can go out there with Dolly Parton. Fuck covers. Oh, that would be cool though. You ever heard her cover Jolene? Jolene, you heard that shit? She fucking crushed that shit. Hand bone, bing, bang, orang. I don't know if I said this on the podcast or not, but
Dolly Parton, she like showed her face like pretty recently, would knock the dust off it. Yeah? You're still going for it, huh? Yeah, if she would have me. You know what I'm saying? That's a little bit of ageism that you said knock the dust off her. Maybe why? Because she's old, you fucking cheap bastard? Literally exactly why, and I'm sorry, but that's what came out of my mouth. But, yo, what's the song, bro? The movie that she was in. Oh, it's the climb. No, the climb is crazy too. That song is a fucking big time. But there's another one. It's like, well.
What the fuck I don't know but now we're gonna look when I look at you, okay? What do you look at you say well look it up and sing it? Oh damn? I wish we could play the music just look up the lyrics babe. That's all I need I don't know the lyrics. I don't care about anything, but the lyrics okay I just sang it and you don't recognize it What do you want to do you want to fall in a new one that she had the one that got like a billion? Listens last year what the hell? Flowers
And then flowers are just falling from the sky. And bro, Pepsi, Apple, whoever does the Apple fucking Super Bowl shows now, hire us. Dude. She's buying, she's out there singing flowers and then there's just hundreds of fucking flowers everywhere. And there's trees everywhere. And she's doing it in, on sand. Write my name in the sand. And then it pans up and it's the flower petals falling on the word Miley written in the sand. Okay. Okay.
And then I could also go into a party in the USA because that feels like a beachy song to me. Yeah, absolutely. And then she'll be like – She'll parachute in, like hopped off the plane to LAX. When is the Super Bowl back in LA? I don't know, but it's not soon enough. Not for this idea. Listen, first of all, NFL, you bastards. I know you're listening. We know that you've been really heavily in on this big brand war for the basement boys. Goodell, we know you're watching. Raji.
That's not a nickname for Roger. No, that's just like a... BJ Raji is who I was talking to. Who is that again? You don't remember the defensive lineman BJ Raji? Oh, that's who it is, yes. From Green Bay? Yeah, yeah. Listen...
I'm coming up with pulls all day. BJ Raji's wild. Where else did you think you were going to hear a Champ Bailey and a BJ Raji fucking pull in the same episode? Listen, NFL, we know that you are really looking to get a finger back on the polls with a young crowd because your demographic is, understandably, people within probably 35 to 65. Right, yeah. We can help you. We can help. We've got it down-packed here. You said packed? Down-packed.
Yeah, P-A-C-T, though. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So... That took me years to figure that out, by the way. But I kind of feel bad for JoJo Siwa because she's doing... She's 20, bro. Come on. I mean, I don't feel bad for the bank account. I think that... No. But, like, I also think that, like, this makes a lot of sense. Because, like you said, she was young. She's got fucking multicolored ribbons in her hair. She's making all types of merch. She's fucking killing it. And she was dancing hard, dude. Do you see those videos? She's like...
She's going crazy. She's getting sweat. And now it's like, yo, I'm going to completely rebrand, but I'm going to throw it the entire other way. So she's like coming out now and she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got like black and glitter and like a horn. You know what I mean? She's like, yo, we're going to turn this whole thing around. I saw like a video of her like
the song to like, I guess like her release party. And then she's like, you know, like she's trying to be like, kind of like sexy. Oh yeah. She's like, oh, there's a subliminal in this, which is like, it's not that it's, I don't think that she was trying to be, it was more like she's being edgy, edgy. Like they said, I'm crazy.
Yeah, yeah. It's like, all right, go for it, JoJo. Does she at any point in time drop the Siwa? Or does she drop the JoJo? What is her name? Joanna? JoJo, that's with JoJo. The one who broke my heart and broke up with you. Broke up with me. There are very few women on this planet that can say they broke both of our hearts. Crushed us. And honestly, that's one of them. Yeah. JoJo Siwa. Real name. Oh, Jessalyn.
What a, of course, of course. Oh no, that's her mom's name. Jessalyn is her mom's name. Jessalyn. Jessalyn. I'm Otter's dancing. That's JoJo. That's what she's doing. That's what she's so good at. Jessalyn. How's it doozie? Hi, Jessalyn. Nice to meet you. Hi, Jessalyn. How's it doozie? Oh my God, my girl. Her name is Joelle Joanie.
Where the hell does the Siwa come from? I feel like that's like culture. Her last name is Siwa. Oh, you said Jolene, Jojo Jolene. She's a Jojo, bro. Two Jo's. What do you mean? I got Joel and Joni. Oh, so Jojo, last name Siwa. Yeah. What did you think? I thought her last name was the middle one that you said. Oh, no, no, no. Joni. No, her last name is Siwa. Oh, okay. All right. I mean, listen, Jojo.
Tom Siwa, Jessalyn Siwa. She has a brother, Jaden Siwa. What's with these J's? Oh, I hate that. Really? Honestly, I don't like that. Really? I don't. And I told my sister. I told my sister because I was like, you can't have three and they all have the same letter. I can't do this.
Like the Kardashians? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all K and shit. K, Chris. It's like, we get it. Well, no, except for Kim. She's got like directions as children. Here's fucking due east. I'm saying- Here's west. No. All their names, like Kourtney, Kim. Oh. They're all Ks. And my sisters, they're both M. And I was like, yo, you get two? And then isn't the brother- Three is crazy. Isn't the brother Robb?
It's like, here's Kourtney, Khloe, Kim, Rob. Rob. You know? Yeah. Damn. Give him like a Christian or something. I wish the best for JoJo Siwa because I can understand. No, I can't. I can imagine the pressures growing up as a child star and having all that money. I can't understand.
I can understand being a massive deal, bro. And then you feel like you need to reinvent yourself. She's probably getting pressure from everywhere being like, you need to figure it out or else you are going to be dead in the water. Figuratively speaking. I also want to say this. Go ahead. The moment was funny to me to watch because I think it's like you're 20 years old. Obviously, you're going to do stupid shit sometimes in your life. I find myself singing that fucking song though. I haven't heard it.
I heard- I heard it's called Karma Karma's a bitch That's like- Oh, okay It's a pop song Alright, good! Which is in my head though, so JoJo Siwa, uh- I think of JoJo Siwa like this Joellen- Joelle- What is it? Joelle- Don't get her- Don't get her- Don't call her a government, dude You do that when you know people, when you're cool with them I thought we were cool If someone came up to you and they were like, Joseph Adolph Sanagato That's not my name! It is! No What's your middle name? Get- You know, bro OJ
Whatever. No, I think of it like this. I think she's going to be okay because... Of course. And hear me out. She's pretty similar to Tom Hanks. Frankie, stop with this. Did you do this on Patreon or on the other episode? Frankie's trying to compare everything to Tom Hanks now. Tom Hanks started off in a very specific position. Tom Hanks' first acting gig was...
actually in a Christian PSA about Dungeons and Dragons against the demonic forces and satanic panic, as people call it. And then as he decided that he needed to evolve, he became known as America's dad. I think Jojo Siwa pivots into being America's... I think she's gay, but...
Like, pop star friend. Oh, that she's gay? She could end up eventually like Tom Hanks. And I think that is a good place that she can eventually be. I wasn't even really listening because, like, who cares, you know, like about this thing that you're trying to compare Jojo Siwa and Thomas Hanks. Close your eyes. You know what? They still don't seem similar. What else can you do? Just like, you want me to stand on one foot? Yeah.
Fucking relax, okay? Jojo Siwa. Shout out. Song? It's kind of a bang bang. I'll have to listen to it. Yo, I'm big on this Miley Cyrus Super Bowl thing, though. Honestly, if... I'm telling you right now. Sorry. If she does get the Super Bowl soon... I'm going. Okay. But they better, as her walking out intro to her performance, have this fucking clip. Now, here's Miley. What do you think? Who do you think? Yeah.
What do you think she would open up with? Mmm. Party in the USA. That's the natural open. Oh, you want her to...
And then you can have, I mean, NFL loves their fucking iconic American symbolism. So you can have just fucking ram trucks just drive on the field and fucking do a donut. Eagles fucking. Yeah. And then she pops out the back. Yeah. You know, we could do, if she does it in the middle of her set and it says, and it's party in the U. Yeah.
I've got Bruce Springsteen in there. Dude, you guys, I saw a video of Bruce recently. He ain't looking so hot. Let me tell you. He's a little 1,000 probably. He's a little frail. Or if she's singing Flowers and she's like, you know, at one point, like in the song Flowers, I think she mentions the word like heart or something like that.
And it's like, don't tell my heart. My achy breaky. Here comes her dad. Billy Ray. And then the first father-daughter duo at the Super Bowl. I'm going to spit. I don't think she fucks with her dad, actually. Oh.
But that could be a reunion. Big reunion! Now we're talking about like WrestleMania. Now we're talking about like Billy Ray's back! They killed the beef and he's back! And then you hear the fucking gong and the Undertaker rises up and chokeslams Billy Ray. I'm about it! That's all I'm saying. This could be iconic, dude. A wrecking ball comes and just knocks him off the stage. Yes! Oh my god. Think of like a legit wrecking ball. That would kill a person. We're having fun.
But, like, she's... It's like a clear plexiglass wrecking ball. And she's in it singing. And it hits a wall. And the wall is, like, Liam Hemsworth's face. Because that's who she wrote the song for. Right, exactly. He cheated, apparently. Maybe. Something. Yeah. Thor's brother. I don't know. I don't know, honestly. I don't know. We're not going to peer into people's personal lives. All I know is he should have bought her flowers. Yeah. Because she...
Now she can buy herself flowers. Yeah, she doesn't need anyone to buy flowers. She could do that. She could write her own name in the sand. Of course. Easily. You know what else she could do? What? Talk to herself for hours. Yeah. That one is like, that's a long time. And also, I wouldn't boast about that. That seems like you're very close on a mental break. I can talk to myself for 15 hours straight. People are going, people are going, are you okay? What's going on?
There's some people who live under trains that do this. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Like what's the difference there? You know, I can take myself dancing. Yeah, you can enjoy it. Dancing is more fun with other people though. We can agree to that. Um, not always. She can hold her own hand. Is this holding hands or is it just like, yes, that's how you hold hands. You do the cup method. No, I interlock. Okay, good. Now this isn't holding hands. This is me like praying. Please God. Well, people pray like this.
but this is like an informal pray when you get here it gets a little more serious when you get here the energy of jesus is spitting out of your fingertips this is just like a casual conversation this is like god please throw me a bone this is like okay god and this is like
Like there's a fucking beam. There's just like lights around you. There's just a sky beam shooting from your fingers. A direct line, you know? Yeah, this is a direct call to Jesus H right now. Yeah. I need you now. What the fuck? Yeah. There are different levels of prayer. That's why old people go like this because back then there was polio and shit. There was a lot more problems. So they...
They had to straighten their fingers just to make sure because back then they had like polio and like the measles and shit so like everything was getting like all curled up and shit. So they had to show like these are pin straight fingers baby I got nothing no iron lungs for this guy over here. Piece of shit. Oh god that was fucking funny. Shout out to Miley Cyrus though. Miley Cyrus and Jojo Siwa. Two yes icons. Two icons of the game. Frogs and Toads. Okay. I guess so. Anyway. You know what?
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Thank you guys for sponsoring the show. Enjoy that. And listen up, folks. As there are people on this planet that used to lick stamps, you don't have to lick them anymore. You can lick the Basement Yard Patreon. I can't. You can't. It's not a physical thing, so you can't lick it. But you can go over there and you can maybe enjoy what you see. Go to patreon.com slash the Basement Yard. Guys, we went and made 30,000 paid patrons. It is unbelievable that
that we crossed that. It is something Joey and I legitimately are grateful for and talk about, and we are baffled by the love and support. So thank you guys so much. And we are continuing to grow, and it's because of people like you. So thank you. We really appreciate it. If you join, you get that first tier. You get all the weekly episodes a week in advance, okay? So you get to be
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We did it. We sold out all of our shows, which is wild. But this is a message for you guys that were able to come to the shows to get tickets. If you go to thebasementyard.com slash submit, you
You let us know what show you're coming to and you submit a questionnaire. And these are crazy stories that we use for our first three episodes. And we use them to interact with you guys. So we highly encourage it. You could be kept anonymous if you want. Maybe, you know, at the Boston show, we had someone come on stage and reveal to her dad that she had gotten a really dumb looking tattoo. So anything could happen.
Okay? We want these shows to be curated and crazy for your guys' enjoyment and entertainment. So go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Submit your questionnaire and get ready because The Basement Yard coming out the basement to a city near you. Good job. I'm kind of... It's like I've done this before. Yeah. You do it all the time. I do, right? Yeah. So there was something else that happened. The British rowing team. Yes. So...
This is every now and then I come to Joey with a story or something that happened and it's really it's a it's a Frankie thing because I I think it's hysterical and Joey will be like, all right, I'll entertain you you throw me a bone you kind of you look at me and you know, you know how like dog owners will just like throw a dog bowl and he's like here. That's what you do in these situations. So there's a British rowing team, which is
The widest sentence ever. An insane... Have you ever done like... British rowing team. Have you ever done like or met people that did like crew or road or anything like that? Never. I was on a train with them once. A train? Yeah. With who? We said with them. The Yale rowing team. Oh, are they strong dudes? Dude. Holy shit. Massive fuckers. Not massive, just like... It was solid. Bro, solid, dude. Like they're... Backs. Couldn't...
Let me. Let me. Their arms were cut the fuck up. Yeah. Just like, and the amount, because I hate that machine at the gym. The rower. I hate it so much. But these dudes were yoked. Yeah. And also kind of douchebags, but that's neither here nor there. They went to Yale. Well, you said it. We have friends that went to Yale. Not douchebags.
Not one of them. Oh, shit. I'm joking. They don't listen to this. They're not going to. They will never know that you said that. Ever, dude. Ever. Unless it's clipped. But they were rowing through. The spelling is weird, but I made sure I know how to pronounce it. River Thames, which is in London. What is that? It's like their river. It's like their Hudson. Oh, okay. But apparently it's like just inundated with sewage. Poop. Well.
And pee. Poop, pee, blood. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. Not normally in either of those things. Yeah, I mean... You flushing a lot of blood, Joey? No, I'm saying a city would. I didn't even think about this. Women...
Women blood. Women blood. Women, yeah. Women, because of menstruation. Egg blood. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to touch that one. What? I don't want to talk about menstruation. Why not? Because I don't know much about it and I don't want to come off as insensitive or stupid. No, it bleeds. It happens. Yeah, of course. It happens. It must suck.
It does. Yeah. I don't know why I'm saying it does. I was going to say, what do you know? I know that it sucks for women. I've witnessed the sucking. Yeah, well, I share my life with a woman. I grew up in a home with two of them. Exactly. I could see that it is not fun. Not a good time at all. I hate bleeding. I hate it. We stand with you. We stand...
Fuck menstruation. We're anti-blood. Oh, I don't want to say that because then it makes me sound like affiliated with somebody. That's what we're talking about. We are... We stand with you because of how difficult it is and we are sorry. Support you. Support. And we're sorry if we did anything. But we're also sorry that we can't experience it too. If I can menstruate four women, I...
But I still would. In the world that we currently live in, where we can't, we would. But if we could, we wouldn't. We probably wouldn't. Yeah. If I had the option, I would say no. But I don't have the option, so I'm going to say I would. Yeah. I think that counts for not nothing. I'm sorry. I'm also sorry. It is crazy that half the population is just like,
In excruciating pain once a month. And the other half we're just like, oh man. Is it always excruciating? The pain of being a man. It's like, what the fuck? What do we got? I did see a comment the other day of being like, being straight is like a crime now. Bro, I hate that. The war on straight men. Being straight is a crime. Yeah, the war on...
My favorite. My favorite. Did you see the line? Like Nick Offerman for that episode of The Last of Us. Yeah. Got an award. The gay one? Yeah. Dude, they were kissing so in lovely gayness. I know. It was wild. But like someone said to him like, why did it need to be a gay story? And he was like, because of fucking idiots like you. Yeah, yeah. Like it's a love story. Right. I also...
Like, if it was just a straight couple, there's no, like... You would never know. I mean, you would know. If it was a straight couple, you'd be like, oh, they're gonna, like, end up together. But this was, like, came out of nowhere. Well, because, like... Two lonely guys! They played on, like, the fucking, like, this is a fucking hermit man and a fucking... I have a lot of guns, you know, like... Yeah. And you're like, yo, there's no way this bearded man is gonna kiss this guy. And then he fucking smooches the shit out of him. Yeah. Crazy. But...
Yeah, those are my favorite. Or my favorite is just like, oh, I don't want to see it. And it's like, look at any fucking billboard in Manhattan and it's just fucking scantily clad men and women. Yes, I said scantily clad. Okay, cool. Did you ride in on your horse? Take it easy. Scantily clad. It's just like, it's funny because it's like, I don't want to see it. And it's like, fucking everyone sees basically regular porn. It's also bullshit too because like, bro.
We're talking about the end of civilization in this show. The people are not in... You know what I'm saying? Like, there's no more people. And these two dudes, like, fell in love. Or, like, fucked a couple or whatever, I think. Oh, they were together for years, my guy. They were pounding time. They were fucking... They were going nuts. But, like, bro. I mean, this happens in prison for less years. And also... And it's prison. Also prison. They were in the open world. Yeah, but also, like, there's no one around. Like...
You're going, you're a post-apocalyptic gay? I'm not saying, but I don't, who knows? I would with confidence say I'm not. I can with, I know, I know myself. How can you say that though? Because you're always the person who's like, oh, you don't know until you're in that situation. When it comes to anything else, that's what you say. I'm talking about, you haven't seen a person in 13 years. I'm pretty, you know what?
I am very comfortable in my sexuality that like I don't think it's just something where it's just like "Oh, who's around? Mister, get over here!" Like I'm- I'm not saying that either! You're doing the timeline thing. What am I doing timeline? You made it seem like you stumbled upon a man and you start kissing him. I'm not fucking gay. Did you watch the episode, Joey? Yeah. They were together a while. Before they kissed? But the one guy was gay. That guy was gay from birth, you could tell he was gay. The one he like found?
Right? He was like, you know, in a dirt hole or whatever. He like got trapped or something. And he's like, oh, this guy was gay then. Nick Offerman had a wife, didn't he? I think that's the point is that maybe he was gay with a wife. That happened. Of course it happens. You know?
He's always been gay. And he found the true love. His wife, whatever, she got eaten or whatever. She got bit? How does that work? I forgot that whole show. You should watch it again. It's very good. You never played the games, right? No, I didn't. So do you know what happens in the second game? They're gay in the game? Oh, yeah.
I mean, so the character Frank is in the first game. Which one's Frank? Nick Offerman. Got it. And there is not like an outright saying like, hey, I'm gay. It's very closely alluded to. Okay. But I'm saying like just The Last of Us has a story. Do you know what happens in the second game? No. You like the first season? Yeah. Gear the fuck up. Jesus. There's some shit coming your way, baby. How did that? Oh, in the show. They like kill themselves.
What didn't they like kill themselves or something with poison? They both did they put yeah, they oh the guy was like Oh i'm doing it too as like a yeah, bro. That's that's one of the best Episodes of tv i've ever seen in my entire life. It was really good. It is incredible Yeah, it's up there with like breaking bad episodes. I will say I wish there was more like in that episode I'm, like these two dudes now are shacked up full gay and like
Let some zombies get through the fence and like, let's fucking tear them up. They do. I forgot the episode. You clearly don't remember this fucking show at all. I forgot the episode. You don't. First of all, they're infected with the cordyceps fungus, which is a real fungus. Um,
But it's like they're like Raiders that get through and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm not I'm not guys if you didn't watch last of us Legitimately, it was a great first season. Yeah, the games were great. Don't spoil it. I mean already spoiled that they're gay That was the biggest twist of the whole episode. No For me, I was like what it happens very quick. I
Does it? Is it like the first night he's there? Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. No, that's... You don't remember? He's playing Linda Ronstadt on the piano. Oh, yeah. And he's just like... Nothing like a little piano to get gayness going. Kick off the gayness with a little pian. We are skating on some thin ice here, Joey. Why? It's gay love. We started with menstruation and now we're here. Like, who knows? I hope we don't offend anyone. JoJo Siwa. JoJo Siwa. Back there. JoJo. She's gay. What a gay episode. And...
And Miley Cyrus is like, bisexual? I don't know. Forget the labels. I don't know. We don't want to label anything. We just want people to know that. We know that she can buy herself flowers. We do know that. And she could love whoever she wants. I don't think that's a lyric in it, but she can do that. Yeah. Shout out to the last of us. What the fuck are we talking about? The British Republic. So they were fucking going through poop poop and pee pee in the water. Got sick. And let me ask you a question. Mm-hmm.
You get sick. From poop? Yeah, bacterial infection, sinus infection, whatever. But it's poop. How are you curing yourself? Antibiotics. Antibiotics, right? Yeah, I would go to the doctor and I would get some pills. You don't, all right. You don't do that though. At home remedies, what are you doing to like kind of like treat yourself a little bit? Bath, shower, big scrubbing. No, Joey, you're already sick. Oh, uh...
Are you over the counter meds? I'm saying, are you like stupid?
What happened to you? Like, are you taking any at-home remedies, any herbal remedies? Herbal remedies? What do you think? I live with monks. What do you mean? I'm going to drink a tea and that's going to fix diarrhea, bacteria in me? That's how they did it. That's how they did it years and years and years ago before modern science fucking revolutionized the game. Oh, years ago? That's when they died of diarrhea. So let's see how far the tea got you. But like there are fucking roots and herbal remedies and tisanes and stuff like that. You think I know that? I would think.
that you have a brain and you fucking explore the world outside of medicine, Joey. Time, time, time. Explain to me how you crush up a little plant root and you make this and you make a little tea and it fixes your diarrhea. Explain! No, no, no. Clearly Joey didn't grow up in a house where the first thing that someone did when they were not feeling well was drink ginger ale.
No, no, no. And then, and then, it's a soda. But real ginger ale. I know now, Schweppes, Schweppes. Listen. I know Schweppes. Listen. Schweppes is now high fructose corn syrup. For a second, you asked me if I got sick from diarrhea in my mouth, right? If I got sick from that, you're upset that I didn't go, well, I'd make a soup. What do you think that's going to do? That's the first thing that people do.
Because our fucking rigged ass fucking healthcare system is charging people thousands of dollars to go get an antibiotic. A soup isn't killing any diarrhea. Some people believe that you can. They are wrong!
I'm not fighting you here. I'm not. So you'd make a soup, eat a chicken noodle, the diarrhea goes away. What are you saying over there? Joey, there are people, myself included, that to an extent believe that you can use food and herbal remedies to fucking, to get around some things. I believe that too. The joke is that these fucking idiot British people use Coca-Cola. That's the joke. Wait, what? Yeah.
What do you mean? They drank a bunch of Coca-Cola? They said in the thing that in order to get rid of the bacteria, they wanted to kill it with Coca-Cola, so they drank Coca-Cola. What's going on? Did your dad give him that advice? This guy's using it as suntan lotion. He's like, are you sick, Coca-Cola? I want a nice tan and I'm not feeling well. Two stolons, one bird. That's what my dad would say.
You can kill two stones with one pigeon. Yeah. You could do that if you want. But that's the thing is that like they believe that like they could use like fucking Coca-Cola to kill. Bro, Coca-Cola. What does that say about what people believe your brand is, dude?
What does that say, dude? Yeah, I don't know. First it was cocaine. Now it's like, let's kill this fucking diarrhea that's in my system. Yeah, what does it do otherwise? Like if you're drinking it to kill bacteria that's inside you. Which by the way, Ahmed doesn't get sick that much. This kid loves Coca-Cola, bro. He does love Coca-Cola. He'll never get E. coli. He'll never exist. He was counting the Coca-Colas he was drinking in Austin when we were there. He'd be like, yo, yo, yo.
Number three, yeah. He's a big beverage guy. I love Coca-Cola too, I will say. But I've been out with him and it's like water, Moscow Mule, black coffee, Coca-Cola. What the fuck? All at the same time? At the same time. Does he swing from each and then just...
That's a great question. I don't know. No wonder his stomach's in fucking shambles. He's trying to digest black coffee, high fructose corn syrup, water, and fucking alcohol at the exact same time. His stomach's looking up and I'm like, bro, you're not doing me any favors. What do you want from me? Literally, I'm working double overtime shifts, bro. What are you doing? But there's no part of you that like growing up, like your family would be like, oh, you're not feeling well? Here, have a ginger ale. Yeah, if I had like an upset stomach, not if I had E. coli poisoning.
Well, that's what they may be thinking is at first. I mean, yeah. My mom used to give us like ginger ale sometimes, but like, does that actually work? I know that like ginger would probably help. I mean, ginger is an herbal remedy, Joey. Like, is there trace amounts of ginger in a ginger ale? You know what I mean? I think the idea is that there should be, but... That's what I'm saying. Like, is it actually helping or is it just like this, what's that called? Flavoring? Placebo effect.
I don't know, honestly. I think that there is ginger in ginger ale. I do too, but it might be like... Well, not like... Let's call it how we see it. You know, the Canada Dry and Schweppes, the big brands, are probably... There's no real ginger in those. But you can get a legit ginger ale or ginger beer, excuse me, and it might have real ginger in it. Or... What's the other one?
That you love all the time? Booch? The Booch! Get the Booch! Yeah, I don't know. Get some Kim Booch! Some Booch. You know? Or you know what you could get?
SeatGeek. You could get some SeatGeek, guys. Listen, SeatGeek, that's where I get all my tickets. You want to go to a baseball game, you want to go to a concert, you want to go to a Broadway play, you want to go to a monster truck rally, you want to go to anything that has tickets, you want to go to the basement yard, actually. I looked it up on SeatGeek, by the way. The basement yard experience on SeatGeek. So people are reselling tickets on there. If you see the prices, we're not making those prices, okay? Those are what people are reselling them for. The prices are way lower for us. But we're on SeatGeek, too. So if you have SeatGeek, all right?
Or actually, if you don't have SeatGeek, you're going to need it. It's where I get everything. I love their interface. It tells you when it's a good ticket and a bad ticket. It's all color-coded. It has everything that you can imagine on there. And usually, what happens is they give you some money off if it's your first time purchasing, but...
No longer the case. We're getting a little crazy now Everyone could use the new code basement 10 for 10 off any tickets on seakeek So even if you have bought tickets before on seakeek, I know previously we've said like if it's your first purchase Then you get this discount or whatever. This is for anybody Basement 10 10 off any tickets on seakeek. So if you're going to anything use that basement 10 get 10 off It's a nice little 10 percent that you get to keep in your pocket. Okay um
Yeah, go to go down to see key cap use the code basement 10 for 10% off tickets on SeatGeek Okay, go outside go enjoy something take a little nice little somebody to something. All right, and lastly here this show is
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I'm reading the advertisements. You log on to Facebook? I just, I had a, like, I hate seeing the little red number notification thing. Me too. So I just go on, I just get it out. Me too. But I saw it was like memory from 14 years ago, and I know how much you love how stupid I was 14, 15 years ago. It's unbelievable. And it's just a status that says, who went to Dublin's last night and is a girl? And your comment, you're the first comment that says, what the fuck is going on, dude?
So we were doing this 14 years ago. 14 years ago, yeah. Who went to, Dublin's was like a bar. A disgusting bar. It was like a dive bar. That was the one in Citi Field, right? No, that was, it was the same one in the city. What was the one in the city? McFadden's. McFadden's, that's what it was. McFadden's. Dublin's was the one all the way out in Long Island.
Oh shit. Yeah. Yeah. Who was that? That was next to dizzy lizards and is a girl. Like who's going to see that and go me. I'm a girl. I'm the girl. And I was at Dublin's. You were looking for a specific girl. Yeah. I think. And it's funny because the other comment on there was from another one of our friends and he was like, I found her. Don't worry. Oh, so you were looking. I was trying to help my boy.
Oh, I thought you were looking for a girl that you saw. Oh, no, no, no. I was not looking for a girl for me. So the way that you decided to help your friend is like, and this is a huge bar, by the way. It's big. Multiple rooms. And he just said, who went and is a girl? Those are the only requirements. Who was there and was a girl? Right. But it was next to Dizzy Lizards, wasn't it? I've never been there. I went a couple times, and it was legitimately, they had a night that was quarter beers.
It wasn't full beer. They were like Dixie cups of beers, but a quarter. It wouldn't matter. A quarter? You show up with five bucks, you're living it up, baby. Actually, no. At that time, we were putting them back. Five bucks is $20.
20 of these. Yeah, that's true. 20 of these. But still enough beer though. Which is like three to a regular beer. So like that's three, six, nine, 12, 15, 18. Yeah, we were probably a little drunk. Yeah. I don't know. We were tanks back then. Yeah. You ever think about legitimately like insane, how insane it was, how much we were able to drink? Disgusting.
And it's not even because of like you're able to drink it and not get drunk. It was like just the sheer calories are like insane to think about. Oh, here's fucking big health, Joe. Like the caloric intake and the fucking output of energy we needed in order to remain a bit of a fucking loser. You idiot loser.
What a fucking stupid way to think of alcohol. No. We drank so many calories. Bro, that's crazy. We also fucking played football and basketball and soccer and baseball every day. Yeah. But I'm saying like... I'm not... I'm saying like how are you able to keep that in here? Because your metabolism is like a fucking well-oiled machine at that age. Yeah, but like it takes time. Like you drink 20 beers. One, I feel like if I drank 20 beers now, I would literally just be like that. And...
Like the bloating. What is the most beers right now you think you can drink until you're just like, I gotta stop. Just like Bud Light cans? Yeah. Gotta stop. Or I'll even make it a little easier on you. How long do I have? Natty Ice. Natty Light. How many? How long do I have? A full day. Oh, a day? Yeah. Definitely could crush a case in a day. You could crush a whole case in a day? Frank, so could you. I feel like you could drink a case quicker than me. Probably. What does that mean though, bitch?
That I don't know that you can, you also can burp. Like I can't burp. Yeah. Joey's convinced. So I have to like stop. He's like, like, no fucking burp. You loser. Don't make fun of my trainer. Train your stupid esophagus to burp. Fucking idiot. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, you don't think you drink 30 beers in a day. A day. Dude, that's a lot of beers. It is. But like, it takes an hour to burn off one beer. Now look who's going to burn off.
I'm saying in the morning, right? Bro, think about when we went to Pennsylvania and we were playing beer games. How many beers did we drink that day? That wasn't that long ago. I don't think it was the beers that did us in. It was also the Jameson and the Jell-O shots. And you know, I found a video of you on like one of those swings that like rock back and forth. And I'm standing there like this and you're hitting it into my fucking balls.
Yeah, that was one of the most drunk I've ever been. Yeah, that was a tough one. But we kept winning, so we couldn't stop. How do you stop? We played six games of beer ball in a matter of an hour, which for those of you guys, that's six beers in an hour, which is not a little bit. Yeah. I love beer ball so much. That game is so fucking fun. Yeah. I'm shocked we haven't done like a studio beer tournament or like beer Olympics or something. First of all, that would be just an absolute massacre.
How? Like if we were on a team for like a beer Olympics? We would be good at it. In here a bit? We would be good at it. I love how you're like, I don't know how we haven't done that. I don't know. You have three kids. Yeah, that's true. When we have to pick out the time for us to get blacked. That is true, yeah. I would lose two days. I'd be over with. Yeah.
But you know, what are we talking about? Rowing and shit. Yeah. Rowing and shit. Coca-Cola and your dad giving the British rowing team some advice, drink some Coca-Cola. You should be fine. That is a very, my dad thing to do. Or like a 1920s doctor. It's like, ah, you got a headache, a couple of cigarettes. You'll be all right. Yeah, exactly. Back then. And that's when Coca-Cola had like cocaine in it and stuff like that. Is that a real thing or is that a room? I,
I believe it was a real thing. I mean, if you look it up, you'll be able to get more information on it, which you have the computer. You're not gonna, you're not gonna do that. Well, I used to have this like big mirror in my basement for some reason. The Coca-Cola one. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah. It was like, it was a mirror that had all this shit on it. It was like etched in Coca-Cola. And there was a woman on it. Who was that? The Coca-Cola lady.
That was a huge... That was a guess. That was a Coca-Cola. You said it was such like... But that was back when it was just like every like big brand had like a lady as like their like branding. It's like, oh, the St. Paulie girl. Here she is. You know, the fucking Coca-Cola broad. Double mint. You like gum? Here's twins with tits. You know? And it's just like, you know, okay. You like hot girls? How about two that look exactly the same and are related? Yeah. I just want some... Even better. I just want some gum, man. I don't want to fucking...
I'm not trying to have a threesome. My breath sucks right now. Do you ever have someone go, yo, your breath stinks? Yes. I was very embarrassed. It was in a public? It was. So I did a, for college, I did an internship with a police department.
And there was one officer that I did several ride-alongs with. Do you get a gun? I wore a Kevlar vest. I didn't wear a gun. That was such a stupid question. You wore a vest, though? I wore a bulletproof vest, yeah. And they were nice, but the officer that I did the ride-along with was a fucking douchebag. Typical, like, I'm a cop. The world answers to me. Yeah. You know?
You started to look cool in front of college kids. Yeah, yeah. Like, I know not all cops are like that, obviously. But, like, this guy, like, it got to his head. You know what I mean? And he was, like, to me, like, he was fine. And, like, we never spoke, like, close, but we were in a car. And at the end of the internship...
I asked the guy that I set up the internship with. I was like, oh, what did you... How did I do? Any words of advice? He's like, no, no, no. I thought you did great. Good job. Best of luck. I was like, did anyone say anything about me? He's like, yeah, so officer so-and-so. And I was like, oh, what did he say? Because I had went on ride-alongs with this guy.
gave tickets like Like nothing that like would require like in close close close contact Yeah, and he was like ah he uh you said you have halitosis. I was like what the fuck. What's halitosis? It's like the official term for bad breath. Not only did he say I had bad breath. He said he had scientific- Yeah, he diagnosed me this bastard. Oh my god. I was very and I was just like really? This guy's got homeostasis.
He was like, "Yeah." I was like, "Do I?" And he was like, "Oh, I don't think. I don't know." And then, like, since then, I was like, fucking like, "What the fuck?" Yeah, it was weird. But it, like, it got to your head. You bought a bunch of gum. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. He's got halitosis. Halitosis, yeah. I was just like, "What the fuck? Did anyone ever tell you you had bad breath?"
Probably. Like, nothing like that stands out. No one's ever halitosis. They've diagnosed you? Yeah, no one's ever been like, yo, you have a scientific problem wrong with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're medically bad breath. All right, take it easy now. Medical grade dog shit mouth. Okay, didn't go that far. Yeah. I actually don't have, like, I've been told that I don't have morning breath.
Becca says the same thing to me. Thinks she's just being nice. Maybe. I think she is. Yeah. Because I say like, you don't, like, I don't have morning bed. She's like, no, you really don't. She also says sometimes I don't stink. I know you just itch your nose, but like, no, you really don't. She also said like, there are days I'll like, when I worked my old job, I'd get home and I stunk. And she'd be like, you really don't. And I was like, this, I know it's a lie. Oh, okay. Yeah. I can like, I can't trust you now. I know. I know. But maybe she really, maybe she really doesn't. If I had bad breath, you'd tell me. Yeah.
There have been points in your life when you've had bad breath. Yeah. You know, and as I'm sure me, sure. But like there have been points where it's, it's, it smells like you chomped on like human shit. You don't have to detail. You were very clear that you said my halitosis smelled like dog shit before. So no, I'm saying just, just, just need to make sure I volley it back over to you. Okay.
You fucking hit that shuttlecock this way. I'm throwing it right back over to you, okay? That is what that's called. Shuttlecock. What a stupid name. Shouldn't be named that. What a stupid sport and a stupid name in a sport that's already losing because it's called birdie or badminton. Also really dumb. Birdie? No, I thought that was called a birdie. The shuttlecock is called a birdie. But the sport is also called birdie or badminton.
Badminton. It's B-A-D-M-I-N-T-O-N. Badminton. I always thought it was... You're right. I know that. But I always said badminton. Like an idiot. Like an idiot. Like a dumbass who said that. Yeah, it's badminton. Not a goodminton. Not at all. Anyway.
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